


Splintered Flower

by SilverCreek



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Dark Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Denial of Feelings, Disability, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fantasizing, Gay Sex, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masochism, Masturbation, Mentions of Rape, Object Insertion, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), POV Arthur, Past Rape/Non-con, Physical Abuse, Pining, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Sadism, Sexual Fantasy, Stockholm Syndrome, Top Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Top Merlin (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:01:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 37
Words: 211,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21993406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverCreek/pseuds/SilverCreek
Summary: "The maid’s faces both flushed and then curtsied. “Nothing, my lord.” They both glanced at each other and quickly walked away from him.Annoyed, Arthur huffed and walked up to the door they’d been giggling in front of. Nothing particularly funny about the door, was there? Maybe inside.Arthur peered in and his heart stopped.Merlin, naked once more, with another serving boy on his knees in front of him."
Comments: 112
Kudos: 157





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur searched high and low for his worthless manservant. The gods know he’s had him for four months and the boy hasn’t learned hardly anything. Arthur grits his teeth in irritation, eventually going to Gauis’ chambers. Even if Merlin isn’t there, at least Gauis might know where he is.

He goes into Gauis’ study without knocking. It’s his right after all. He’s the prince. He scans around for the physician, feeling a new spark of irritation when neither Gauis nor Merlin is in sight. 

There’s always the bedroom.

Arthur heads for the tiny closet that counts as Merlin’s bedroom. Honestly, how could someone live in such a tiny room?

He starts up the stairs, and is interrupted by a loud moan. He freezes. Merlin? He swallows. Does he have someone in there? Merlin? Is that the reason for the noise? Arthur racks his brain for any other reason a boy might moan so loudly and none others come to mind.

Does Merlin have a girl? Arthur doubted it. Maybe it was just another serving girl that agreed to be his little outlet for… Arthur curled his lip. He wondered who would take Merlin up on the offer.

Another load moan interrupts his musings and he can’t hold out any longer. He wants to burst right in, embarrass them both, then thinks twice. He should just open the door quietly and see who it is.

The door creaks once, and then opens easily several inches.

Arthur’s mouth drops at the sight of a naked Merlin lying on his bed, head at the foot of the bed, one hand pumping his length steadily. The prince swallows hard. He watches, almost spellbound, as Merlin releases his cock and strokes his legs, his stomach. He moans again when he scratches his own nipples, tugging at them and flicking them, then going back down to take hold of his cock once more.

Arthur is mesmerized. He can’t figure out why. Perhaps it’s because such behavior isn’t fitting for a prince. An awkward lecture from his father made him learn that. At 20 years old, he’d only done such a thing a handful of times. And, truth be told, he wasn’t that good at it.

But Merlin… He was obviously a master. His thumb ran constantly over the head of his cock, playing with the slit a little, occasionally licking the fluid from his thumb. Arthur watched his cock grow almost purple as Merlin whimpered and spread his legs wider, bracing his feet against the wall. He was so close…

Arthur’s eyes fixed on his cock, studying the way the skin still moved with his strokes, the way his left hand still rubbed his skin until... By the gods…

Merlin cried out loud as white liquid erupted hard from his cock and he kept pumping until it was all gone. His hands fell away from his body and he panted hard, trying to get his breath back.

Arthur came to his senses. Merlin couldn’t see him here, couldn’t know that his master had just watched him… Do that.

Arthur walked away backwards, quiet as could be, until he reached the staircase. Then he forced himself to walk steadily to his chambers and wait for Merlin to show up. Although he’d be damned if he knew how he was ever going to look him in the eye again.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur tried it, of course. That very night. He tried to pump the way that Merlin had and only succeeded in getting a little aroused, but definitely no climax. His grip couldn’t be tightened. It hurt too much. Maybe he was doing it wrong. Merlin definitely enjoyed his alone time. Arthur had to be doing something wrong.

*****************************************************************************************************************************************

It was weeks before Arthur could look Merlin in the eyes without that image of him pleasuring himself on his bed left, and his mind wasn’t replaying the sound of Merlin’s loud moans.

Arthur told himself it was a disgusting habit. He wasn’t missing out on anything.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur needed his shirt. He needed his blasted shirt and he needed Merlin to get it for him.

He’d sent his useless servant to fetch it from the kitchen nearly an hour ago. So he had to wait here, shirtless, shivering slightly, until Merlin either found it, or remembered he was supposed to get it.

Fed up, Arthur pulled his nightshirt on once more and went into the kitchens himself, ignoring maids bowing whenever they saw him.

He found his shirt straightaway, hanging near the turnips. He scoffed, and went to get it. Merlin obviously hadn’t even bothered to really look for it or he would have been back ages ago. That useless excuse for a servant would pay when he found him.

He didn’t have to wait long to find him. Some maids tittering in the hallway outside one of the rooms caught his attention and aroused his curiosity. He strode over. “What’s so funny?” He more demanded than asked.

The maid’s faces both flushed and then curtsied. “Nothing, my lord.” They both glanced at each other and quickly walked away from him.

Annoyed, Arthur huffed and walking up to the door they’d been giggling in front of. Nothing particularly funny about the door, was there? Maybe inside.

Arthur peered in and his heart stopped.

Merlin, naked once more, with another serving boy, maybe a year or two younger than Merlin, on his knees in front of him. The boy kneeling was kissing Merlin’s cock languidly, open-mouthed kisses, lingering licks. Merlin was smiling (why shouldn’t he) and praising his little favor-boy. “Yeah, you’ve got it. Now go back up and suck a little. There, you’ve got it.” Merlin lavished on him as the boy followed his directions.

Arthur couldn’t move. Again, his gaze fixed onto Merlin’s cock. By the gods, it was huge. He didn’t like to admit it, but it was apparent by the way the other boy’s mouth had to stretch.

Merlin petted the boy’s hair, starting to thrust slowly in and out. “I’ll do you next, okay?” He whispered.

The boy didn’t say anything, couldn’t, but he took timid hold of Merlin’s hips and Merlin groaned a little. “Yeah. You’re doing so well, my pretty.”

His pretty? Arthur watched Merlin pet the boy as if he were a cat, not a human. The boy didn’t seem to mind. He kissed and sucked the rigid flesh and Merlin loved it. “I’m close now, my pretty. So close. Are you going to swallow for me?”  
The boy nodded as much as he could and Merlin smiled gently down at him until his body went rigid and he moaned out loud while his body shook. White liquid dribbled from the boy’s mouth, and he choked a little. Merlin was too busy coming down from his high to comfort him.

The boy swallowed and Merlin recovered enough to lift him up by his arms and kiss his mouth, licking around it to get all of his seed.

Then Merlin smiled again and got down on his own knees, kissed the boy’s cock softly.

His mouth was talented. Arthur could see that much. His tongue pushed and licked, his cheeks hollowed out and he could hear him humming around the length in his mouth.

It didn’t take the boy long. Merlin swallowed, wiping up any excess dripping down his chin with a finger, popping it in his mouth and licking every drop.

He and the boy smiled at each other, the boy shy. Merlin kissed him again. “Hey, next it’ll be even better, okay?” He petted the boy’s hair. He took his cock and lifted it a little. “I might put this inside of you if you’re ready.”

The boy grinned eagerly and Merlin laughed. He and the boy kissed one last time before Merlin told him to go back to his duties.

Arthur gathered his wits long enough to move quickly from the door. The boy walked out as soon as he was a safe distance away.

Heart racing at what he had just witnessed, Arthur waited until Merlin walked out to stride over to him angrily, making his voice angry and steady. “Merlin, where the hell have you been? I sent you to get my shirt nearly an hour ago.”  
“I’m sorry, sire.” Merlin was again the innocent-looking, bumbling idiot he knew. “I had to do something else first.”   
“Like what, pray tell?” Arthur crossed his arms.

“I promised somebody something. So I did it for them.” Merlin would have been vague if Arthur didn’t know exactly what he had truly just done.

“Right.” Arthur said. “Do you have anything else promised? Or are you finally going to help me get dressed?”

Merlin ducked his head. “Of course, sire.” He murmured.

As they walked back to his chambers, Arthur couldn’t help but wonder about what he had just witnessed. He wondered if Merlin got hard again went he went down on the boy. He wondered what it felt like to go down on another man. He’s had willing serving maids offer their services to him, but he wondered how it felt on their end…

Merlin caught him looking. “What is it, Arthur?”  
“Nothing.” Arthur snapped. He looked straight ahead again and tried to clear his head of those thoughts, of that image for the rest of the day.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

He didn’t see the boy Merlin had been with again. He would occasionally look around casually for him in a room. He hoped to find someone who would know who he was, and what his name was. No such luck.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

It was the middle of the afternoon, and Arthur had no further need of Merlin. He let him go free for the rest of the day, until nighttime, of course, when he would need him to get his supper for him.

Arthur sipped a cup of water, standing by a window in the castle, peering out. He watched two knights spar on the lawn, some maids cutting flowers to arrange in the castle… And Merlin, heading for the hedge garden. Arthur narrowed his eyes. What would he be doing in there?

Arthur left the cup of water on the ledge of the window and walked briskly through the castle, walking outside, going towards the garden. It was his right, after all, to know what sort of mischief his servant was up to.

He walked through the hedge maze, the bushes trimmed perfectly and almost as tall as his head. He walked quickly through the maze, expecting at every turn to run into Merlin. He didn’t.

He heard a voice, and carefully listened to it to find his way through the maze. As he got closer, he realized it was Merlin talking, and it sounded like he was talking to someone.

Arthur peered around the corner of one hedge and saw Merlin, sitting against a bush, with that same boy. The boy had his head in his lap and was listening to Merlin talk quietly to him while he plucked some of the green off the hedge and scattered it aimlessly beside himself.

Merlin ran a hand through the boy’s brown hair as he spoke. “So I know what it’s like, not to fit in. I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Not even here. A servant’s life…” He sighed. “It’s difficult.”  
The boy nodded.

“But it’s part of my destiny.” Merlin said vaguely. “Something that has to be until… I don’t know. Even though we’re both new to the job, I can help you. Arthur keeps me bogged down with lots of stuff, but I know how to do some of your duties.”

The boy smiled. Merlin returned it. “Anything you need help with, just come and find me. I’ll help you with it.”

The boy took his hand and held it, gazing up at Merlin with a kind of adoration. Merlin squeezed his hand a little. “And don’t listen to any of the other servants. They don’t know you like I do.”

The boy looked thoughtful, glancing away from Merlin’s face. Then he looked back at him again, and another small smile graced his face.

He rose up, facing Merlin. He leaned forwards and Merlin gladly received his kiss. He put one arm around his waist and pulled him closer. The boy sat in his lap and they kissed.

Arthur witnessed it all with a fast beating heart. Giving each other favors is one thing, but this… This went beyond casual. The intimate way that they held each other, the deepness of the kisses… Arthur himself hadn’t experienced anything like that.

Their eyes closed and Arthur saw Merlin’s tongue slowly gain entrance into the other boy’s mouth. The boy tilted his head back while Merlin rose up a bit more to keep the contact.

Merlin kept one arm around his waist, the other twisting in his hair until he pulled away, breathless. He smiled, lips redder than usual, and the boy seemed in ecstasy. He leaned forwards and Merlin made a sound, pulling him against his chest. The boy curled gladly in his lap and Merlin fingers pet his body softly and slowly.

Arthur realized his mouth was hanging open. He shut it, and swallowed. This boy was into Merlin deeply. He could tell by the look on his face, the trusting way he let Merlin touch him, hold him. He felt a pang of jealousy that a servant could experience such an emotion that a prince had never felt.

Arthur’s heart raced again when Merlin fingers dipped into the band of his trousers, tugging at them. The boy curled tighter and Merlin paused until he relaxed again. His fingers went inside the front of his trousers and cupped the boy there.

Arthur could see the movement of fingers; the biting of the boy’s lip in pleasure at the gentle touch. Merlin managed to kiss the boy’s hair. “Do you think you’re ready, my pretty?”  
The boy shook his head fast, a spark of fear in his eyes. Merlin almost looked disappointed, but he didn’t pressure him any further. “I like you a lot.” Was all he said.

The boy just looked at him, head angled to one side and Merlin sighed a little. “I wish you could talk.” He said wistfully.

Arthur’s eyes widened. The boy was mute? It made sense; he hadn’t spoken a word either time Arthur had spied on them.

The boy’s mouth twisted and he looked at Merlin, kissing him one last time and gently removing Merlin’s hand out of his trousers. He stood, and Merlin stood with him. Merlin gave him a peck on his cheek. “Maybe next time.”

The boy shrugged.

Arthur couldn’t stay any longer. He stood quickly and broke out in a brisk trot the way he had come until he was safely back in his chambers.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of Merlin while the servant performed his nightly duties of folding the prince’s clothes and setting out his clothes for the next day.

“Merlin.” Arthur says on a whim.

“Hm?” Merlin replies, half-interested.

“Do you… Have anyone special in your life?” Arthur asked, trying to sound off-handed about it, even though the question sounded odd.

Merlin turned to him, forehead wrinkled. “Someone special? What do you mean?”  
“Like someone you are… intimate with.” Arthur answered.

“Oh. Uh.” Merlin paused in the middle of folding his shirt. “Maybe.”  
“So you do?”   
“Sort of.” Merlin murmured.

“How long have you known him?”

“A few months. Wait.” Merlin looked at him. “Him?”  
“I meant her.”

“Right. Well, a few months. Shortly after I first arrived here.”  
“I see.” Arthur watches his servant fumble with putting the clothes away. His bumbling manservant. Always looking too innocent for his own good. But Arthur sees the image of Merlin, head tilted back in ecstasy while that boy clumsily licks his cock, kissing up it, choking when Merlin’s white seed-

“Sire?” Merlin asks worriedly.

Arthur realizes he’s been staring. “Sorry.” He says. “Just thinking.”  
“About?”   
“Nothing. Are you almost finished?”

Merlin closes the wardrobe door. “Done.”  
“Good. You may go.”

Merlin nods and goes out, bidding him good night. As he walks by the table, Arthur has to shut his eyes tight when a sudden image of Merlin, stark naked, lies on his back on the hard wood while Arthur thrusts hard into him.

Merlin goes out, unaware of the images that haunt his master’s mind.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

Arthur watches. Waits. Hopes to catch Merlin and that boy together again. A week passes and no such luck. He feels like a pervert, but he can’t help it. He wonders every day why it haunts him so, and every day he lacks an answer.

******************************************************************************************************************************************

His luck changes. It’s the middle of the day and Arthur manages to see Merlin and that boy going up the stairwell together, holding hands. They’re moving quickly, almost anxiously, and Arthur quietly follows.

He stays far enough behind so they can’t notice him, but close enough so it ensures he won’t lose sight of them. His face flushes as they both enter one of the empty rooms, Merlin letting the boy in first, then closing the door behind himself.

Arthur goes to the door anxiously, praying it isn’t locked. He tries the knob quietly and breathes a sigh of relief when it turns easily. He waits, one, two minutes… then opens the door quietly.

The boy is once again loving Merlin’s cock, more at ease this time, Merlin rubbing his bare back arousingly. The boy’s trousers remain on, while Merlin is shirtless, trousers discarded by the door.

Arthur watches, strains to listen and hears the obscene sucking noises as the boy bobs his head up and down.

Merlin tugs his arm and the boy stands, face flushed, and Merlin pulls his trousers down. The boy steps out easily. He’s hard as well, but his cock is nowhere near as impressive as Merlin’s.

The boy takes his cock in his mouth again, and Merlin lets him suck for a minute or two, kissing up the length with open mouthed, lazy kisses.

The boy finally pulls off at Merlin’s silent gestures, and crawls onto the bed. He gets on all fours, looking nervous as can be, while Merlin positions himself behind him.

Arthur’s mouth goes dry as Merlin gently began lathering the boy's entrance with his tongue.

The boy's mouth is slightly open, eyes shut with what is obviously pleasure.

Arthur doesn't know what to think or how to feel as he watches Merlin slather this boy's opening with saliva. He hears Merlin moan and gently slide in a finger, tongue still working it's magic, and slides it in and out.

The boy's chest is heaving, eyes still shut tight. Merlin asks him softly if he's ready to take another finger. The boy nods his head.

Arthur's eyes drop to Merlins cock. It's twitching, a long strand of precum hanging from it. Merlin starts stroking himself as he moves his fingers around inside the boy and pumps them in and out.

"Can you do a third soon?" Merlin says softly. The boy shakes his head quickly. Arthur expects Merlin to be annoyed, but he seems very understanding. "It's ok, we'll get there when you're ready." He murmurs to him.

Arthur watches him return to tonguing the opening, 2 fingers still inside the boy but no longer moving around. A few minutes pass. The boy kind of pushes backwards into it and looks back at Merlin. Merlin asks him again if he can take a third. The boy nods now, and Merlin almost immediately pushes it in. The boys sucks in air hard, and Merlin starts rubbing calming circles on his lower back. "You can do this. I know you can." The boy doesn't reply; he seems to be concentrating. Arthur wonders if he's in any sort of actual pain, or just discomfort. Despite the shocking prepwork Merlin did with his tongue, Arthur can't imagine any amount of fingers feeling good inside of... there.

A few more minutes pass. The boy again starts pushing back and looking meaningfully at Merlin.

"Fourth finger, my pet?" The boy shakes his head, but keeps pushing back against him. Merlin cocks his head. "You want me to put my cock in you, pet?"

Despite literally having just seem Merlin stick his mouth and tongue onto this boy's opening, hearing that slang term dropped from Merlin's mouth still surprised Arthur.

The boy nodded eagerly.

"Are you sure?"

The boy seemed annoyed but nodded again.

Merlin kept his fingers inside of the boy, but spit generously onto his left hand and lathered up his cock. He slowly removes his fingers and presses himself against the boy's opening. Arthur watches the boy bite his lip as Merlin slides slowly into him. He grabs onto the boy's hips and presses in deeper.

Instead of making a noise of pain or protest, the boy tilts his head back in bliss. Merlin goes in completely and waits a few seconds. Pulls out a few inches and thrusts in. The boy opens his mouth soundlessly, turning his head side to side.

Arthur watches Merlin thrust, taking the boy’s cock in one hand and pumping it in time with his thrusts. He can’t believe he’s watching this. That he’s watching Merlin have… But he can’t look away. The furrowed look of concentration on Merlin’s face, the soundless pleasure showing clearly in the boy’s face and shivers. It’s mesmerizing.

Arthur almost groans at the sight when Merlin takes the boy’s cock and pumps it as he would his own. The boy tenses and shivers with apparent pleasure. He relaxes until, a few minutes later, his seed is spurting out of him, onto the sheets.

Merlin made a sound of satisfaction and removes his hand, grabbing the boy’s hips again and thrusting harder, breath coming faster.

“Do you want me to cum inside of you or outside?” He asked, voice strained.

The boy turns his head a little to look at him.

Merlin pants. “Outside?”  
  
The boy shakes his head and Merlin laughs a little. "Alright if you insist." He speeds up, panting and groaning until he’s close to finishing. He pulls out a few inches, then pulls the boys hips toward him, burying himself deep and throws his head back, his black hair sticking to his forehead. He shudders, and Arthur realizes he's cumming. His own mouth hangs open, watching Merlin's pleasure show plainly on his face.

Merlin finishes, breathes heavily for a few seconds, and then pulls out, flopping onto his back.

The boy's face is unreadable. He turns on all fours to face Merlin, his backside facing where Arthur is hiding. Arthur bites back a groan as he sees Merlin's seed dripping out of him already. The boy flops down next to Merlin and grins at him. Merlin turns his head to look at him, and starts placing small kisses in his hair, murmuring words that Arthur can’t make out.

It’s only now that Arthur realizes he’s painfully hard. He can scarcely believe it. He never would have thought he could get aroused just by watching his servant…

By the gods, he just watched his servant have sex. Arthur scooted away from the door and closed it quietly, heart pounding. He’s never felt more dirty in all his life.

*******************************************************************************************************************************************

It seemed to take forever before his erection diminished. Arthur stayed in his room until it did, too embarrassed to walk out in such a predicament.

As soon as it was gone, Merlin came in, carrying new bed sheets. He looked surprised to see Arthur in his room in the middle of the day, sitting in a chair, scratching at the wood of the table with a knife.

“Arthur. I was about to change your sheets for you.” Merlin told him.

Arthur glanced up at him and jerked his head towards the bed in a silent ‘Go ahead’.

Merlin looked a little puzzled, but went over and set down the clean sheets next to the bed before stripping the old pillowcases off of his pillows. He discarded them in the floor and set to work on the rest of the sheets.

As he bent to tug one of the corners from the mattress, Arthur’s mind went into fantasy mode, imagining Merlin, lithe hands bracing himself against the edge of the mattress, completely naked and Arthur, fingernails driving into Merlin’s hipbones while he thrusted madly into his servant, hearing Merlin's cries, hearing the normally insolent servant call him master and tell him to go harder and faster, to-

“Arthur, you’re scaring me.”

Merlin words jolted him out of his fantasy. Arthur shook his head to clear the image that he desired. “What?”  
“Staring at me. You’ve been doing that a lot lately and I don’t like it.” Merlin frowned at him, fluffing up the pillows one by one.

“Sorry.”  
“What are you thinking about?”   
“Nothing.”   
“It’s something.” Merlin arranged the pillows neatly on the bed. “Tell me.”   
“Merlin, I don’t know if you realize this or not, but I’m the prince and you’re a servant. I give the orders.”

“Right. So tell me what’s on your mind.” Merlin returned, raising his eyebrows.

Arthur nipped his bottom lip and reluctantly set the knife down. “Merlin, can I ask you a personal question?” He wanted to see if Merlin would be honest with him.

“Sure.”

“Really personal question?”  
“Fire ahead.” Merlin said, uncaring.

“Are you a virgin?”  
Merlin froze. “A what?”   
“Virgin. You know, what everybody is until they have sex.”   
“I know what a virgin is, I’m not that sheltered!” Merlin said defensively. Arthur smirked, remembering what he had witnessed less than an hour ago.

“So are you? A virgin.” Arthur repeated.

“No…” Merlin muttered, spreading the bottom sheet on the mattress.

“Mm.” Arthur said simply.

“Are you?” Merlin looked at him out of the corner of his eye.

"Am I what?"

“A virgin, Arthur. You know what I was asking.”

Arthur considered if pulling rank on Merlin would stop his questions. Then he wondered if he wanted to avoid them. If he played his cards right…

“And if I am?” Arthur stated nonchalantly.

Merlin smiled a bit. “You’re still a virgin?”  
“Princes don’t often have the luxury of producing bastard children, Merlin. We can’t go around sleeping with every woman that catches our fancy.”

“So you’re a virgin.”  
“Do you want me to say it or something? Yes, I am.” Arthur’s face turned red. He’d never been embarrassed about his virginity, until now.

“No need to get red in the face, Arthur.” Merlin said. “I lost mine a few years ago.”

“With?”

Merlin turned away. “Um. Just a girl.”

“A girl?”  
“Of course.” Merlin said, puzzled. “A girl.”

“Her name, please.”

“Katherine.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows as Merlin had. “Care to share the story?”

Merlin sighed, sitting upon the half-made bed. “Just some people passing through Ealdor. Lots of people. They were running away from their own village because bandits had overrun it. Most only stayed a week, a lot of them moved on. But there was Katherine, and she was… She was my age, and probably the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. And she liked me. And she was-” Merlin flushed a little. “-She was experienced. So she asked me if I wanted to, and I said yes, and she showed me how.”  
“Was that the only time with her?”

“No. Twice more.”  
Arthur smirked. “Merlin, you rascal.”   
“Shut up.” Merlin smiled a little. “But, yeah. There’s your story.”

Arthur remembered the way Merlin had gone down on that boy like an expert. He had to be more experienced than that.

“Anyone else?”  
“Do you really want the sordid details of my sex life?”   
“Yes.” Arthur said honestly.

Merlin’s eyes widened and he cleared his throat. “Arthur, I think I’ll just get back to changing the sheets.” He turned and started to spread the top sheet, getting it smoothed out, tucked the edges under the mattress.

On a whim, Arthur imagined getting up, walking over to him. Merlin’s red sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, the skin white and pristine. He was slightly bent, smoothing out the wrinkles and such. The prince thought to himself that before Merlin could turn around, Arthur could gently take hold of his wrists, one in either hand. Merlin wouldn't know what to think..... Arthur imagined pressing his half-hard cock against his rear, grinding into the flesh a little....

Arthur snapped out of it. Merlin was looking at him funny again. Arthur cleared his throat.

“Have you ever done anything with boys, Merlin?” Arthur asks boldly.

Merlin looks at him again. “Excuse me?”

“Have you ever done anything with a boy?”  
“Arthur, that’s none of your business.”   
“I think it is. You are my subject and servant and I have every right to receive an answer.” Arthur says evenly. “Now tell me the truth.”

“No.” Merlin says, finishing the bed and stepping away. “I have every right to privacy.”  
“No. You really don’t.” Arthur drawls.

Merlin narrows his eyes. “Anything else you need, Arthur? Or can I go?”  
“Yes. I need an answer.”   
“I’ll just be going now.” Merlin starts to go past him.

“So you have.”  
“Have what?”   
“Been with a boy.”

Merlin turns to look at him slowly. “Arthur-”

“If you hadn’t, you would have answered so already. So you apparently have.”  
Merlin’s face colored a little. “What business is it of yours?” He retorts.

“What was his name?”

“You don’t need to know.”  
“Was it in Ealdor?”   
“Yes.”

Arthur smirks. “What was the boy’s name and how did you meet him?”  
“Wasn’t exactly a boy, okay?” Merlin snaps.

Arthur’s eyebrows rose. “Older than you, was he?”

“Yeah. A little.”  
“How did you meet him?”   
“I don’t want to talk about it.”   
“Just tell me. Tell me and I’ll never bring it up again.”   
“I wasn’t willing, alright?” Merlin blurts out. He immediately sucks in a sharp breath after he says it.

Arthur blinks, looking at his servant in a new light. “You were forced?” He breathes.

“Not exactly.” Merlin mutters. “He was one of the men who came from the other village. He stayed in Ealdor.”  
“And he raped you?”   
“No!” Merlin snapped. “At least... not exactly... He- He wanted my mother. And I was too weak to stop him physically. I threatened him, and he told me that if I wanted to protect my mother, I’d better be prepared to take her place.”   
“What happened after that?”

“I couldn’t let him hurt my mother.” Merlin said. “So I agreed to take her place as long as he promised not to ever touch her. He agreed, and we… He took me into the forest and we had sex.”

Merlin looked uneasy telling his master this. Arthur almost felt bad about asking. “Did you do things a lot?”  
“For a few months. And then… He lost interest. He just didn’t want me anymore.”

Merlin scuffed his toe on the stone floor. “So I’ve pretty much been taken every possible way.” He muttered.

Arthur stares at his servant for a while. Merlin is a year younger than him and a servant, and he’s done more things than Arthur has even thought of.

Arthur feels a pang of remorse. He wanted badly to ask Merlin to give him favors like he gave that mute boy. But hearing the story Merlin just told… Arthur couldn’t bring himself to ask him anymore.

“I’m sorry.” He said honestly.

Merlin shrugged.

“No, I mean it."

"It's fine, Arthur."

Arthur made a conscious effort to stop watching his servant make the bed. He focussed on the bowl on the table, trying to stop his mind from wandering to Merlin again.

"Arthur."

"Mm." Arthur still didn't look at him.

"Please don't treat me any differently."

Arthur now looks at him strangely. "Why would I?"

"I don't like people knowing about it. They tiptoe around me and the whole thing becomes awkward." Merlin picks up all the dirty sheets and hold them close to his chest. "I'm not a damaged person or anything. What happened happened. I'm over it. I'm ok."

"I know. I'm not going to act differently around you. It's just... I never would have suspected something like that."

Merling shrugged. "It happens. But I'm really ok."

Arthur smiled at him. "I know you are."


	2. Chapter 2

Three days after his revealing conversation with Merlin, Arthur finally saw that mute serving boy down by the stables by himself.  
He watched him go into the stables, carrying a stable broom in one hand and a pitchfork in the other.  
Arthur should be meeting with some of his knights around this time... however....  
He quickly started walking towards the stables, ducking inside, wrinkling his nose at the strong smell.  
The mute serving boy was in the middle of shovelling out a dirty stall, but when he saw that Prince Arthur himself had just walked into the stables, he quickly dropped the pitchfork and bowed.  
Arthur allowed himself a minute to look the boy over before walking toward him. The boy took a step back nervously.  
"Can you speak?" Asked Arthur, already knowing the answer.  
The boy shook his head.  
"Hm." Arthur mused. "Are you just a stablehand?"  
He nodded. Arthur saw him swallow nervously. He knew he was standing maybe a little too close to the boy, but he wanted to get a better look at him, take him all in.  
He could not have been older than 18, although he was a little shorter than most grown men. His light brown hair was thick. Arthur thought of all the times he'd seen Merlin run his hands through it. He was almost tempted to do it himself.  
The boy was very tanned, his eyes were a dull brown. His face was plain, nothing stuck out as particularly intriguing or alluring. Arthur was somewhat confused. What drew Merlin to this simple stablehand?  
Arthur's eyes went to this boy's mouth. His lips were full. The stablehand was nervously chewing his bottom lip, looking like he really wanted to leave.  
Without thinking, Arthur's hand cupped the boy's chin. His skin was dry. Arthur swept his thumb over his bottom lip, watching his mouth part forcefully. Seeing this made Arthur feel..... something....  
He did it again, watching this boy’s lips part unwillingly. He could very nearly hear the stablehand's heart pound. Arthur wondered if he was thinking about Merlin. His eyes again went to his tempting mouth. He thought about how eagerly this boy had sucked on Merlin's cock. He wondered if he had done it today.  
The boy made a motion like he was asking to leave. Arthur realized his hand was still holding this boy's chin. He quickly glanced back to make sure no one was watching and leaned down and gave him a kiss.  
Arthur had never kissed another man. He wasn't sure if he liked it. The boy's mouth did not respond to his, which annoyed the prince. If he were a simple peasant and a member of royalty gave him this kind of attention, he'd at least be grateful enough to return the gesture.  
Arthur held the kiss for a few seconds. When he pulled away, he saw that the boy's eyes were wet, although no tears had fallen. Again, Arthur felt annoyed.  
"Do you have a name?" Arthur asked, brusquely.  
The boy nodded, looking scared.  
"Can you write? I'd like you to write your name in the dirt if you can." Arthur at least wanted that.  
The boy hesitated and then shook his head.  
"No, you can't write?"  
He nodded.  
Arthur narrowed his eyes, wondering if the boy was lying.  
"Do you realize I am your prince?"  
The stablehand swallowed hard again and nodded.  
"Would you lie to your prince?"  
The stablehand's eyes grew wide and he shook his head.  
Arthur studied him again. He wondered if Merlin had taken this boy again recently. He stepped back to look at him fully, and recalled all the times he'd seen this boy in the throes of passion. He thought about when he saw this boy throw his head back while Merlin thrust into him, and the light in his eyes when those two would kiss.  
His annoyance grew stronger. The boy could definitely read it in his eyes as he looked ready to make a run for it.  
Again Arthur cupped his chin. "Do you know my manservant, Merlin?" Once again, he asked a question he already knew the answer to.  
The boy nodded.  
"He speaks to you?" Arthur said softly.  
An affirming nod, and the boy looked like he was trying to piece together all the questions Arthur was asking.  
"You like him." Not really a question.  
This time the boy did nothing. Arthur felt him tremble.  
"There's no need to be afraid." Arthur spoke quietly.  
He flicked his thumb over the boy’s full bottom lip, pulling it down, hearing a faint wet sound as it was forced downward. He wished he knew why he liked it so much.  
Again, he lowered his head and kissed the boy. His heart leapt in his chest when the stablehand returned this kiss. Those full lips still trembled.  
Arthur held this kiss for a bit longer. Perhaps the boy was beginning to appreciate the prince's attention. He wanted to reward him for being so pliant.  
He thought about using his tongue, but admittedly he was inexperienced doing so, so he held off.  
He pulled away and stepped back. The boy's eyes weren't wet this time, and he stood there as if he were wondering what Arthur might do next.  
"I will leave you with this, boy," He said, noting how the stablehand winced as he said 'boy', "Do not deny a prince what you willingly do with his servant."  
The boy's eyes went wide and his tempting lips tremored.  
Arthur thought about saying more, but he didn't. He turned and walked away, not looking back. He felt safe in what he had done. What would a mute boy do against a prince?

******************************************************************************

The next day, Arthur is reading while sitting up in bed. Merlin is dusting, a job he is terrible at. There always seems to be more dust after he's finished.  
Arthur is avoiding staring at him. He is trying to note Merlin's body language, and everything seems normal. Merlin is chipper, he's talking easily with Arthur... There's no way he found out what Arthur had done with his lover.  
Arthur wonders if he should feel guilty. He doesn't, and he's pretty sure that's okay. He simply kissed the boy twice, no harm done. His father would be disgusted and horrified if he ever found out. Arthur smirked.  
"Is the book good?" Merlin asks.  
"Hm? Yes. Sure." Arthur says dismissively. He sets the book down beside him. Merlin gives him a curious look.  
"May I be excused, Sire?"  
"For what?"  
"I- I promised someone I would spend time with them today."  
Arthur snorts. "I was promised cleaned boots today." He says pointedly.  
Merlin squirms. "Can I just be dismissed for an hour or two, Arthur? They'll be so disappointed if I don't meet them."  
Arthur knew exactly who he wanted to see, and he thought about denying him the request. But then again he was desperate to see Merlin working his magic with the stablehand.  
Arthur acted annoyed and waved him off. "Fine," he tried to sound bored. "I expect my boots to be freshly cleaned by tonight, however."  
Merlin grinned. "Thank you, Sire." He bowed and then nearly sprinted out the door.  
Arthur counted to five before following. 

******************************************************************************

Sitting crouched on some cold stone steps was not ideal, but Arthur had no choice. Merlin and the boy had chosen one of the towers for privacy. Arthur knew the second they were about to leave, he needed to be ready to leave quickly so they didn't see him.  
Crouched down as low as he could go, peering through a gap at the bottom of the wooden door, Arthur could see Merlin and his lover wrapped in a quilt, eating their lunch together.  
The boy would grin in delight when Merlin would pop a piece of fruit in his mouth for him and squirmed with happiness when Merlin would lean over and kiss him on the neck or face.  
"I like you," Merlin whispered at one point to him. The boy shyly leaned in and kissed him.  
"You're beautiful and perfect." Merlin murmured, kissing the top of his head.  
Arthur found this dull. He wanted to see Merlin flushed and thrusting into this boy. He wanted to see the boy's mouth open and close in silent ecstasy.  
Merlin ran his hands through the boy’s hair a few times before gently pushing him on the ground. The boy's face immediately went blank. He went from smiling and happily squirming in the quilt to completely still. Merlin didn't seem to notice. Arthur's heart raced. Something was going to happen. He felt heat rush throughout his body.  
Merlin stood and started taking his own clothes off. The shirt came first, and was tossed to the side and then he started to untie his breeches.  
The boy's face went from blank to fearful and he sucked in air sharply, suddenly crossing his legs and sitting up, drawing his legs protectively to his chest, wrapping his arms around his knees.  
Arthur watched, utterly confused, as Merlin immediately apologized and sat next to him, going to embrace him. The boy instinctively pushed him away at first, shaking, as tears streamed down his face.  
"I wasn't thinking." Merlin whispered, "Shhh, shhh, you're safe. I'm so sorry. I didn't think." He kissed at his tears. The boy let him hold him, silently crying.  
Arthur's confusion increased. What just happened?  
"I would never hurt you like that. I would never do anything like that to you." Merlin was wiping at the boy's tears with the blanket. "I wasn't thinking about it when I laid you back. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."  
Surely this wasn't about him? Arthur's stomach started to drop until he realized that was ridiculous. He'd barely kissed the boy twice.  
“Nobody will hurt you like that again,” Merlin swore again, “I’m here for you always.” He kissed the boy, whose tears were slowing down.  
Arthur felt like he was trying to piece together a puzzle with several important pieces missing. He thought back to how the boy went from delighted and happy to blank as soon as Merlin laid him back onto the ground…. how he started crying and curling up only after Merlin stood over him, unlacing his breeches-  
Oh.  
Oh.  
Arthur listened to Merlin quietly comfort him, apologizing again and again, promising him nothing would ever happen to him ever again. Merlin swore to protect him.  
Clearly someone had done something similar to this boy like what had happened to Merlin a couple of years ago. Maybe even worse. Was that how they had bonded? How had Merlin learned what had happened when this boy couldn’t speak? Arthur wished he knew the whole story like Merlin clearly did.  
Merlin’s voice got quieter, Arthur strained to hear what he was saying. The boy’s tears had nearly gone now, he allowed himself to be quietly held, occasionally emitting a quiet hiccup.  
Arthur listened to what Merlin was whispering into the boy’s ear, trying to make it out. Merlin’s voice raised just a bit and Arthur heard him quietly murmur, “Artemis, my sweet, beautiful Artemis. I care for you more than words can say.” 

******************************************************************************

Arthur slammed his bedroom door behind him. He didn’t bother to stay after learning the boy’s name. Clearly nothing was going to happen between them anyway.  
Arthur slammed a chair hard against the table, trying to burn off some of his anger.  
The boy, Artemis, had clearly lied to the prince when he denied being able to write. No other way Merlin could have learned his name and his past. The boy lied to his face.  
Arthur paced, trying to sort out his anger. He kicked his bedpost angrily before flopping dramatically onto his mattress.  
When a prince asks you to write your name for him so he can learn it, you don’t lie to him to disobey his order, Arthur fumed to himself. When a prince gives you that sort of attention, you act grateful.  
Artemis. What a stupid name for a boy. Artemis.  
He imagined summoning the boy to his chambers, and casually calling him by name. He could see the shock in the boy’s face now. Arthur allowed himself a smug grin.  
Thank you for coming to my chambers so promptly, Artemis. Arthur nearly laughed.  
He also thought it funny that Merlin had no clue Arthur even knew who his lover was, and had no clue that Arthur had kissed him.  
Arthur’s heart nearly stopped. But if Artemis could communicate in a way with Merlin, what was stopping him from telling Merlin what Arthur had done with him in the stables? Did Merlin already know? Or did Artemis not feel it necessary to tell him? Maybe he didn’t mind…  
Then again, Arthur didn’t need to fear his manservant. Arthur was a prince. Merlin was a barely competent servant. Even if Artemis tattled on him, what could Merlin even do?  
Arthur started imagining the entire scenario. Calling Artemis to his chambers, seeing the trepidation and hesitation in his eyes. Arthur would casually use his name, and see the look of realization in the stablehand’s face. He’d wonder how the prince learned his name.  
Arthur’s thoughts drifted to calling the boy closer to him, watching his slow and fearful steps as he would draw closer. Perhaps Arthur would be sitting on the edge of his bed instead of by the table. Artemis would be forced to walk the entirety of his room.  
Arthur nearly bit his lip. He could feel himself getting aroused at the thought of Artemis standing before him, and gently taking the boy’s hands in his own. Maybe instead of fear, Artemis would start to feel honored and pleased that he had caught the prince’s attention.  
Even though he had trouble deriving any pleasure from it, Arthur found himself rubbing his arousal over his breeches.  
In his fantasy, Artemis was being carefully pulled into Arthur’s lap. Arthur pictured himself gently kissing him, Artemis easily following his rhythm.  
Arthur resisted the desire to pull down his breeches, knowing Merlin would be back any moment now. He allowed himself a few extra minutes to stroke himself over the fabric, imagining it were Artemis’ timid hands, trying to give the prince some pleasure. He imagined Artemis’ gratitude at being recognized by the prince.  
His door creaked as it opened, and Arthur sat up in bed, removing his hand from that area. He grabbed a pillow and set it casually over his lap as Merlin walked it.  
Arthur fully expected to see a dejected servant, seeing as how his plans for afternoon sex were completely thrown off.  
Instead, Merlin was chipper as ever. He greeted Arthur normally and headed over to the foot of the bed where a pair of Arthur’s dirty boots were.  
Arthur narrowed his eyes at Merlin’s cheerful attitude. Had something happened after he’d left? Did Artemis calm down enough for them to do something?  
Anger bubbled up inside of the prince, unbeknownst to Merlin. His previous fantasy of subservient, grateful Artemis kissing him and rubbing him vanished. He pictured Artemis instead curled up in Merlin’s lap, calm and quiet, back in the tower. They probably DID do something after all, Arthur thought to himself, furious.  
Merlin hummed as he gathered two more pairs of dirty boots. He didn’t seem to notice Arthur’s silent fuming as he cheerily told him the boots would be back in an hour, freshly cleaned.  
Arthur didn’t reply and Merlin didn’t seem to notice as he left, shutting the door behind him.  
Arthur laid back on the bed again, trying to purge the images of what might have happened after he’d left from his mind.  
Instead of finding it erotic, imagining Merlin and Artemis together, right now it made him angrier than anything ever had in the past.  
He was the crowned prince, damn it. And Merlin was a mere peasant. And yet the boy trusted him enough to tell him his past, and his name. When the prince merely asked for his name, he lied to get out of telling him.  
Arthur sat up once more, an idea and a plan forming in his mind. Merlin has been begging for a day off pretty much since he got hired. Maybe it was time he was given one…  
And maybe Merlin’s day off could coincide with Artemis getting the honor of being invited to the prince’s chambers….


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin stood with his back pressed against his closed door in his small room, Artemis kneeling in front of him, sucking fervently at his cock. Merlin resisted the urge to thrust into his mouth, letting Artemis set the pace. 

Normally, they would never meet in Merlin’s room. Gaius was often in and out of the physician’s chambers and it would be hard to sneak Artemis in and out and remain quiet. 

However, Gaius was not here today, and probably wouldn’t be back until tomorrow morning. He’d left yesterday evening to deliver some much needed supplies to a neighboring village. So Merlin took this opportunity to have Artemis stay the night. They hadn’t done anything remotely sexual last night, mostly cuddling, and Merlin talked to him softly until Artemis drifted to sleep. 

They both had a busy day today, and Merlin had to wake up Arthur in an hour, so this was their last chance to anything for the entire rest of the day. 

Merlin heard Artemis choke a little, and felt him try to take more of Merlin in. “Hey, no need to push yourself,” Merlin stroked the boy’s hair, “You’re doing great.” 

Artemis seemed to ignore that, making loud slurping noises as he determinedly took in more of Merlin’s cock. 

Despite his concerns, Merlin felt himself getting harder. He moaned a little and rested his head against the door. 

He listened to Artemis slurp as he fervently sucked, he relished in the unbelievable heat of his lover’s mouth, the talented way he bobbed his head up and down… 

He was constantly reminding himself that anytime Artemis agreed to do a sexual favor for him, or initiated anything like that, it was a special honor. Artemis had been badly hurt in the past, similar to what had happened to Merlin, but a bit worse…. 

He knew bits and pieces from Artemis’ poorly spelled writings. Artemis knew how to write some things, like his name, yes, no, and common words. Sometimes reading his notes and understanding what Artemis wanted to convey was difficult. 

Merlin understood he had been forced by more than one person, and through some vague words and even more vague and awkward miming, some of the things they had done to him. It turned Merlin’s stomach that anyone would choose to hurt him. He guessed that Artemis was probably an easy victim for evil people like that to take advantage of, seeing as how he couldn’t easily tell anyone what happened. 

Merlin felt nothing but honored any time Artemis agreed to be intimate. It wasn’t easy for him after what he’d been through. 

Merlin felt himself about to cum, and he let Artemis know, his voice ragged. He groaned as Artemis sucked harder and bobbed a little faster. 

Merlin came into his lover’s mouth not even a minute later. He felt Artemis swallow a few times to get it all and then popped his mouth off of Merlin’s spent cock. He grinned up at Merlin and Merlin couldn’t help but laugh. Artemis had a strand of cum on his chin and Merlin wiped it off with his finger and let Artemis lick it away. 

“Would you like me to return the favor, my love?” Merlin asked him. 

Artemis ducked his head shyly and seemed to look embarrassed. 

“What’s wrong, pretty?” Merlin asked, cupping his face with one hand. 

Artemis looked up at him and licked his lips. Merlin waited, not getting whatever Artemis was trying to say. 

Artemis made another motion with his tongue, then looked embarrassed again. Merlin lowered himself down, determined to understand. “Don’t be ashamed, love. I’m willing to do anything to make you happy.”

Artemis took a deep breath and opened his mouth, sticking his tongue out and flicking it up and down before quickly stopping, his face turning red. 

“Ohhhh,” Merlin said, “Do you want me to do that thing like I’m going to prepare you for-” 

Artemis clapped his hands and nodded, his shame seemingly gone. Maybe he was just embarrassed to ask for it. 

Merlin grinned. “Alright, get on the bed. Just to be clear,” he added as Artemis nearly leapt up and jumped on the bed, “You don’t want sex, you just want the prepping?” 

Artemis nodded eagerly, removing his shirt and unlacing his breeches quickly. 

Merlin wasn’t surprised. Artemis loved being prepped most of all when they were about to make love. He’d wriggle and writhe and huff in delight when Merlin would lick and stretch him. 

In no time, Artemis was on all fours on the bed, looking eager and excited. 

Merlin smiled to himself, standing up and going over to him. He ran a hand down Artemis’ back, feeling him shiver with delight. Merlin’s hand passed over his backside. He removes his hand, thoroughly wets one of his fingers, and places it onto his lover’s entrance. He glances at Artemis to make sure everything is still ok, then pushes it inside. 

He hears Artemis huff and squirm. Merlin watches him carefully, but he seems to be in nothing but pleasure. 

“Love, if you want me to stop or slow down at any point, can you let me know by thumping on one of the pillows or something?” Merlin requests. Artemis nods his head. 

Merlin scoots more behind him and leans down, removing his finger and languidly licking the opening. 

Artemis huffs again. Merlin starts rubbing his hip with his left hand, lathering his opening with saliva, using pressure like he’s trying to force his tongue inside. 

He uses his right hand to reach around and gently stroke Artemis’ erection, making the boy arch uncontrollably and throw his head back. 

Merlin closes his eyes as he continues to lick, very nearly drooling and using the slick saliva to coat Artemis’ entrance. He presses the tip of his tongue against it, feeling himself get aroused again as the tip goes in just a little bit. 

Eventually he removes his left hand from Artemis’ hip, sticks one finger in his own mouth briefly before sliding it inside of Artemis. He pushes it carefully in and out. Artemis is tight around his finger. He doesn’t know if he should do a second one or not. He decides to hold off until Artemis lets him know what he wants. 

Merlin rhythmically thrusts his finger in and out, setting a gentle pace, still trying to lick every once in a while. He removes his finger once more and tries his hardest to push his tongue inside of the entrance. Merlin moves his tongue in a circle, using a lot of pressure. He’d be in sheer bliss, as would Artemis surely, if he could push his tongue entirely inside the boy

Artemis is breathing hard, his head lowered down. His hips naturally twitch in pleasure as Merlin continues to pump his cock with his right hand. 

He feels Artemis’ cock grow hotter in his grip. He tries not to falter, to keep the same rhythm, as he manages to get the tip of his tongue inside again. 

Artemis presses back against him again before cumming hard onto Merlin’s bed. Merlin feels him trembling with pleasure and he almost reluctantly pulls away from him to grab a rag to clean him up. 

Artemis flops onto his side, avoiding the mess on the bed, grinning like a fool. Merlin smirks at him, lifting one of the boy’s legs to clean all the drool and wetness from his backside and entrance. Artemis lets him easily.

Merlin folds the rag in half and tries to uselessly wipe off his sheets before giving up. He’ll just have to wash them at some point today. 

Artemis gives a quick apologetic look but Merlin shrugs it off. “I’ve made plenty of messes on my sheets.” He jokes. Artemis grins again. 

Merlin looks out the window. “I should probably get ready to wake up Arthur,” he says. He wishes he could spend one entire day with just Artemis; maybe go to a lake and eat some lunch there. Or take a stroll through the woods where they wouldn’t be seen, and he could freely kiss his lover whenever he felt like it. 

Merlin uses the last clean spot on the rag to wipe his face off as Artemis gets dressed again. He tosses the rag into a laundry basket before changing into a clean shirt and putting on one of his scarfs. 

Artemis surprises him by walking over to him and giving him a quick hug and chaste kiss on the lips. He looks up at Merlin, a mix of emotions in his brown eyes. Merlin senses his gratitude and love. Merlin almost opens his mouth to say something but he thinks better of it. 

When they share a moment like this, it takes a lot of self-control for Merlin not to tell Artemis how much he loves him. He’s not sure if it would be well-received at this point. They’ve only been romantically involved for less than 2 months. He calls him lots of pet names, including ‘my love’, but telling Artemis that he’s actually  _ in love  _ with him is an entirely different thing. 

Merlin places a light kiss on Artemis’ forehead before Artemis steps back. If they both didn’t part ways soon, they’d be late for their duties. 

One last real kiss and they headed out, immediately separating once they both left the physician’s chambers. 

  
  


******************************************************************************

  
  


Merlin entered Arthur’s room with the prince’s breakfast. He was surprised to see Arthur standing by the window, wide awake and looking outside. 

“Sire.” He says, setting down the breakfast plate on the table. 

Arthur turns his head to look at him. “Morning.” He says, uninterested, looking outside again. 

“I have your food here when you’re ready to eat.” Merlin says. 

“Fine.” Arthur says, same uninterested tone. 

“Everything alright, sire?”

“It is.” Arthur replies. He finally turns to face him. “I imagine Gaius will be back this evening.” 

“Or tomorrow morning.” Merlin said. “He wasn’t sure if he would need to stay to help out.” 

“Mm. And I imagine he’ll have chores for you on top of the chores I have.”

“As usual, yes.” Merlin said slowly. 

Arthur went over to the table and sat down, picking up a slice of cheese and quickly popping it in his mouth. “Gets to be a lot doesn’t it?” He said. 

“Sometimes. A little.” Merlin wondered what he was getting at. 

“Would you like a day off?”

“I’d love one.” Merlin laughed, assuming he was joking. Arthur would never just give him a day off. 

“Then it’s yours. Tomorrow, I’ll have someone else take over for you.” Arthur said easily. 

“Wait. What? Really?” Surely the prince was messing with him. 

“I’m serious. Tomorrow, outside of whatever Gaius needs, you have the day off. Sleep in a little. Shop around town.” Arthur sat back in his chair as he continued to pick at his plate. 

Merlin could scarcely believe his luck. He’d just been wanting a day with Artemis and here it was. “Thank you, sire.” He said, smiling like an idiot. 

“For today, however,” Arthur said, “I’d like you to pour me a bath. Then do my laundry. Then take my armor to be repaired. Then-” 

Merlin was barely listening, already planning the day he was going to have with Artemis. 

  
  


******************************************************************************

  
  


Arthur strode down to the stables after he sent Merlin off to get his armor repaired. He stopped a stablehand. “Where is that one stable boy? The mute one?” He demanded to know. 

“The Lady Morgana wants to go for a ride. He’s getting her horse ready for her.” The man replied. 

Arthur headed over to the stable where Morgana’s horse was kept. He went inside, seeing Artemis alone, getting the reins tightened on Morgana’s white horse. 

He walked over to the boy briskly. Artemis glanced up, then took two steps backward when he realized who Arthur was. The horse whinnied and stamped, probably sensing Artemis’ distress. 

Arthur went right up to him. “You know you should bow when your prince enters a room.” Arthur reminded him. 

Artemis bowed quickly and unsteadily. He was clearly nervous, probably wondering what Arthur wanted with him now. 

“Tomorrow. Noon. I want you to be in my chambers.” Arthr said, his tone firm. 

Artemis’ eyes widened. He chewed on his lower lip, drawing Arthur’s attention to it. 

Arthur was annoyed at his reaction. “This in an honor,” he reminded him. “How many stable boys get invited personally to see the prince in his own quarters?” 

Artemis didn’t look convinced, which increased Arthur’s annoyance. “I expect to see you there on time. Wear something… clean.” He pointedly looked at Artemis’ dirty tunic. 

He almost cupped the boy’s face again. He was tempted to kiss him. He fought both urges, turning on his heel and walking out. His heart was pounding already. He could scarcely wait for tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

Arthur barely slept that night. He was up at the crack of dawn, nearly an hour before his temporary servant for the day came in to wake him and serve him breakfast.

Arthur spent the whole night imagining what the next day would be like when Artemis finally came in. He knew he wanted to be seated on the edge of his bed when the stablehand would show up. He knew he wanted to bring up his name so he could enjoy the look of fear in the boy’s eyes for a minute. He knew for a fact he was definitely going to kiss him again. 

He had an idea of… other things he might want to do with him. He just wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to follow through when Artemis actually showed up. He’d only ever kissed another man. The idea of doing other things was definitely arousing, especially when watching others do it secretly. But as for physically being able to do it when the time came…. he wasn’t so sure.

When noon approached, he sent his temporary servant to fetch him two plates of lunch, and then sent him away, with express instructions not to interrupt him for the next few hours. He hoped Artemis would arrive before the food got cold. 

He hoped Artemis would arrive at all.

He wondered how he would punish him if he refused to show. 

Arthur remembered he wanted to be seated on his bed when Artemis arrived, so he quickly sat and faced the door, waiting. 

Several minutes passed. He grew anxious, then frustrated. He glanced outside. The sun was high in the sky. Artemis should be here by now. 

A timid knock on the door made him jump. He cleared his throat. “Come in.” He called. 

The door creaked open and Artemis poked his head in. Arthur straightened up further. “Shut the door behind you.” He ordered as Artemis timidly came in. 

Artemis did so. 

“And lock it.”

Artemis hesitated for a second, then obeyed. Arthur noticed a slight tremor in his hands as he latched the door shut. 

Arthur waited a moment. “Did I not say yesterday,” he said evenly, “that when you are in the presence of royalty, you are to bow?”

Artemis’ quickly did so, as clumsily as he had yesterday.

Arthur fought the urge to roll his eyes. “Come here.” He said. 

Just like in his fantasies, Artemis slowly, reluctantly, walked over to him. Arthur reached out a hand when Artemis got close enough. Artemis hesitated for a second and then placed his right hand in Arthur’s left. 

Arthur started to say something, then stopped, frowning. He looked at Artemis’ palm. It was rough; covered in calluses. Nothing like the smooth, delicate hand that Arthur had envisioned. 

It made more sense, he supposed. Artemis shovelled horse waste all day and brushed horses down. His hands were going to be rough.

Arthur studied his hand for a few seconds before letting it go. He looked at Artemis’ face, trying to read his emotions. 

There was some fear, some concern, and quite a bit of confusion. No gratitude yet. 

Arthur shoved down his disappointment. Things were off to a rocky start. Artemis didn’t even know that the prince knew his name.

Arthur tried to start again. “Are you hungry?” He asked. “I had a servant bring us both lunch.” 

Artemis nodded, seemingly surprised at the offer. Arthur stood, took the boy’s rough hand in his own, and led him to the table. 

“Sit.” He ordered, going to grab the wine pitcher. When he turned back, Artemis had seated himself at the head of the table, reaching for the closest plate. 

“No!” Arthur snapped. He set the wine pitcher down hard on the table. Artemis jumped and flinched. Arthur grabbed him by the arm, lifted him out of the seat, and pushed him toward the other chair on the right side of the table. “The head of the table is not for stable boys.” He said angrily. 

Artemis looked like he was fighting back tears. Arthur pushed a plate toward him. “Eat.” He said, pouring himself a glass of wine. He set down the pitcher close to Artemis’ glass in case he wanted some. 

Artemis started eating the chicken first, not looking at the prince. Arthur ate slowly, studying the boy. 

Artemis’ left leg was bouncing up and down under the table as he ate, betraying his nervousness. His right hand gripped the fork so hard his knuckles were turning white. 

Arthur sipped at his own wine, noting how the boy hadn’t poured himself any. 

“Drink some wine.” He requested. 

Artemis shakily poured himself some of the wine. Arthur hoped it would help him relax. 

At the first sip, Artemis made a face like he didn’t like it. 

“Haven’t you had wine before?” Arthur asked. 

Artemis shook his head. 

“It’s an acquired taste.” Arthur took another drink of his. “Keep drinking it.” 

Artemis took another drink and set it down, returning to eating the food. 

He probably didn’t get good food like this every day, Arthur mused. He tried to see any sort of gratitude in the boy’s face but he couldn’t decipher anything. 

“Is it good?” Arthur asked. Artemis nodded.

Arthur heaved a sigh and stood up. Artemis was watching him as he went over to a cabinet and pulled out some paper, an inkwell, and a quill pen. 

He spread out the paper in front of the boy. He dipped the quill pen in the ink. “Write your name.” He instructed, standing over him.

Artemis looked up at him. Arthur saw a look of fake innocence and confusion on his face. 

“I said, write your name.” 

Artemis slowly shook his head. He mimed a helpless gesture toward the paper and quill. 

Fury rose up in Arthur in a split second. He grabbed Artemis’ left wrist and slammed it onto the table. He heard the boy gasp in pain. 

“Artemis.” Arthur said. The boy looked at him sharply in shock. “I know your name is Artemis. And I know you can write. Write your name on the paper.” 

Artemis’ eyes filled with tears as he shakily grabbed the quill pen. Ink dripped all over the table as he neglected to shake off any excess before writing his name in small letters. His handwriting was nearly illegible. 

Arthur didn’t let go of the boy’s wrist as he dragged his own chair closer and sat next to him. “Did I not warn you to never lie to your prince?” He asked softly, keeping a warning undertone. 

Artemis nodded, tears now falling freely from his eyes. Arthur thought this to be a lovely sight.

“What do you think should happen next?” Arthur loosened his grip on Artemis’ wrist. “The stocks? A night in the dungeons?” 

Artemis sniffled and lowered his head down farther. The quiet sound of crying was wonderful to Arthur’s ears. 

“I’m not going to punish you like that.” Arthur said. Artemis sniffled again and looked at him. “You  _ are  _ going to be punished, however. And maybe then you will learn to respect me.”

He got up, dragging Artemis with him, all the way back to his bed. He sat on the edge again, making Artemis stand and face him. 

In his fantasizing last night, he went back and forth on whether he would be able to actually go through with the punishment planned. It maybe went a step too far in same places. But now, with it actually about to happen, he felt nothing but anticipation and excitement, entirely ready to show this boy what happens when you are insolent to a prince. 

Still sitting, he managed to take off his own belt, setting it to the side before he deftly untied the boy’s breeches, causing him to gasp and try to cover himself. Arthur swatted his hands away and pulled the breeches down to the boy’s knees.

“Get across my lap.” Arthur ordered.

Artemis was sobbing now, and Arthur had barely begun the punishment. The boy laid across the prince’s lap. Arthur could feel his stomach convulsing against his lap with every sob. 

The boy’s backside was exposed, and Arthur wasted no time picking up the belt, folding it in half, and soundly hitting the exposed skin with a resounding smack. 

Artemis twisted like he wanted to get away and his mouth opened soundlessly like he wanted to cry out. Arthur almost went to cover his mouth before he realized there was no point.

Arthur laid down another hit, and then another, relishing the sound and the boy’s obvious pain and discomfort.

He watched Artemis as the boy was sobbing, biting his own hand to help with the pain and humiliation, Arthur assumed. 

Arthur remembered, amongst the whacks with the belt, how arousing it had been watching Artemis with his mouth around Merlin’s cock. He yanked Artemis’ hand out of his mouth and then shoved two of his own fingers in. “Don’t you dare bite down.” He warned, hitting him twice more with the belt. 

Artemis’ mouth was amazingly hot. Arthur wiggled his fingers around, relishing the wetness. 

Five more hits with the belt and he was satisfied. He set the belt off to the side, keeping his fingers in the boy’s mouth. He loved the way Artemis’ lips had settled around his fingers.

He also admired the swelling red marks on the boy’s skin. He gently rubbed the skin, causing Artemis to gasp around his fingers. Arthur wriggled his fingers in the boy’s mouth impatiently. “Suck.” He demanded. He bit back a pleasured sigh as Artemis immediately complied. 

He ran his left hand through the boy’s hair. Didn’t feel quite as amazing as it looked when Merlin did it, he frowned. Instead he wrapped his fingers around it and pulled a little. 

Artemis choked a little at this and squirmed. Arthur was satisfied at this reaction. He continued to twist and pull at various parts of his hair, while Artemis sucked at the fingers in his mouth obediently, tears still falling, slight protesting squirms and gasps emitting from him. 

He finally stopped, and pulled his fingers out of the boy’s mouth. Artemis turned his head away from him. Arthur examined the wetness on his fingers, and looked back at the boy’s backside. 

Arthur weighed his options for some time. One part of him wanted to shove his wet fingers inside the boy, and the other part was repulsed at the thought. 

He made a motion to try, and then stopped himself, shaking his head in disgust. No way he could bring himself to try. He didn’t know how Merlin managed it. 

The boy’s sobs had quieted down, although he still looked away from Arthur.

“Are you satisfied with your punishment?” Arthur asked. 

Artemis nodded his head as best he could. 

“And do you think  _ I’m  _ satisfied with it?”

The boy choked back another sob. He nodded his head, seeming to be uncertain. 

“Get up off of me. Lay down on the bed.” Arthur demanded. 

Artemis fought back more tears, climbing obediently onto the bed and laying on his back. Arthur took a moment to take him in. 

His breeches were still pulled down. Arthur found himself drawn to looking at his soft cock. He reached over to touch it. He lifted it up, tried to find some pleasure in stroking it a little. Nothing. He felt nothing. 

He huffed to himself. Clearly, there was something about this boy that drew in both him and Merlin. He wondered to himself what it was exactly that made him want to experience this simple stable boy in the same way Merlin did. 

There was the initial shock when he spied on them in the kitchens. Finding out Merlin had a pleasure toy and he didn’t. Seeing the ecstasy on both of their faces as they favored one another. 

He remembered the time when he was constantly fantasizing about throwing Merlin onto the table or floor; holding his wrists down and thrusting into him while Merlin cried out. 

He considered the obsession with needing to witness Artemis being taken by Merlin for the first time, until he finally managed to watch them. 

He remembered wanting to find the boy, learn what was so special about him, until he finally met him and there was just... nothing about him. He’s a peasant. He mucks out stables for a living. 

Arthur watches Artemis struggle to breathe normally, hiccupping from all the sobbing. He watches his chest heave as he stares up at the ceiling, probably trying to pretend he wasn’t here, being fondled against his will after having been whipped brutally by the prince. 

Arthur felt a pleasant stir in his entire body at that thought; at Artemis’ pain and embarrassment. He wraps his hand tighter around Artemis’ soft cock, and sees Artemis furrow his brow in discomfort. The pleasant stirring continues at Artemis’ expression. Arthur exhales slowly. He thinks he might understand what he wants from this boy. 

He squeezes Artemis’ cock roughly. Artemis opens his mouth in a silent cry, then bites his lip. Arthur feels his own cock stirring. 

_ Ohhhhh _ . 

Arthur continues to handle him roughly, squeezing and tugging at him. Artemis is biting down on his lip so hard he may draw blood, still watching the ceiling. 

“Have you been taken yet?” Arthur asked him softly. He already knew some of the things that this boy had done, but he relished the embarrassment on Artemis’ face at his question. 

“You have, haven’t you?” Arthur continued, tugging roughly at his still-soft cock after his question. “What was like for you? Were you like this? Were you crying the first time?” 

He of course had learned from spying on this boy and Merlin that clearly this boy had been taken forcefully at some point, and he enjoyed bringing it up now to see the hurt and pain from the memory in Artemis’ face. 

This was it. This was what he had been seeking. He found getting pleasure from the normal sources difficult; it was hard for him to get aroused when flirting with a maid and having her perform favors for him. There was something missing. 

But this... watching this boy weep and seeing the pain in his face when Arthur handled him roughly and brought up his past made Arthur painfully hard, to the point he wondered if he would even have to touch himself to cum. 

“Did it hurt badly?” Arthur continued to keep his voice even and low. “Were you taken by force?” 

At this, Artemis burst into tears again, not bothering to try and wipe them away. His hair was getting soaked from his own tears, his mouth trembling. 

“I bet it hurt like hell, didn’t it?” Arthur pinched the tip of Artemis’ cock harshly and he choked out a pained sob. “Was it more than once?” 

At this, Artemis tries to roll away to his right, off the bed. Arthur grabs him quickly. “None of that, now.” He admonished him. “I’m not done yet.” 

He drags the sobbing boy closer to him, abandoning torturing his delicate cock and instead runs his hands through that thick hair roughly, yanking every so often. 

“You should know you’re the perfect target.” Arthur murmured. “It’s not surprising someone did that to you.” He pulls the boy’s head close to his chest. “Were you very young?” 

Artemis cries into the prince’s chest. Arthur is so hard he can’t resist unlacing his own breeches and freeing his cock. 

Seeing this, Artemis buries his head further into Arthur’s chest, shaking his head in protest. Arthur’s shirt is getting soaked from his tears. The sensation and the shaking from Artemis’s sobs is almost enough to make him cum right then and there. 

“Shhh, don’t worry.” He says to the boy, “I’m not going to rape you.” 

Hearing this, Artemis quiets down a little. He slowly and hesitantly looks up at the prince. 

Arthur tugs cruelly at another lock of the boy’s hair. “You like doing that with men now, don’t you? I bet that first experience just broke you in a little.” 

Artemis’ face changed from miserable and pained to shocked. Maybe even a little angry. Arthur had to laugh. “It’s true, isn’t it? Clearly your first experience with men wasn’t enough to put you off entirely. You still like being taken like a whore.” 

Artemis instantly raised his hand to strike the prince, but Arthur was expecting it. He grabbed his wrist and force it back down. “None of that, now.” He warns, his voice low and threatening. “I’ll have you in the dungeons for a week if you try that again." 

He lets go of Artemis’ wrist now, pushing him backwards onto his back again. “Pull off your breeches.” He demanded, getting up to go to his cabinet again. “Leave the shirt on.”

He made sure Artemis was obeying, then went to his cabinet, pulling out a small vial of oil. Seeing this in his hand, a now half-naked Artemis look horrified, protectively curling into himself. 

Arthr ignored this, going to another corner of the room. A broom stood upright in this corner. Arthur glanced back at Artemis to ensure he wasn’t going to make a run for it, then placed the broom on the ground, stepping on the middle, holding the top part with his free hand. He stepped down with his full weight and pulled upwards on the top part of the broom until it snapped in half. He admires the length of the broken off handle. This would do nicely. 

He looks back at Artemis, who is pressed against the headboard, understanding what Arthur wants and shaking his head pleadingly. 

Arthur sets the vial of oil on the edge of the bed with the broken handle. He strips off his own clothes, and crawls onto the bed close to Artemis. He grabs Artemis’ left hand and wraps it around his aching cock. “Stroke it.” He ordered. “I know you like it.”

Artemis sniffles and obeys reluctantly, maybe hoping to avoid what Arthur has planned. 

Surprisingly, the calluses don’t feel as rough as he thought. He tilts his head back, pushing slightly into Artemis’ delicate strokes. 

“Good boy.” Arthur praises. It’s not what he needs to cum, however. He needs this boy weeping and in pain. He wants to feel the bed shake from his sobs. 

“Stop. Lift your legs to your chest. Hold them there.” Arthur pulls away, grabbing the vial of oil and the broken broom handle. 

Artemis shakily obeyed, lifting his knees to his chest, exposing himself completely to Arthur. 

Arthur poured some of the oil onto the handle. He tried to get it as slick as possible. 

Artemis was back to biting his lip, eyes squeezed shut, head against the wall. 

“Open your eyes.” Arthur ordered. He gave the boy a rough smack on his exposed genitals and Artemis silently cried out, opening his eyes as told. 

“I want you to watch it go in.” Arthur said darkly. “I want you to remember every single detail of this.” 

Artemis shook with fear and trepidation as the handle neared his opening. Arthur switched from watching his face to watching the smooth end of the handle press against his entrance. Arthur rubbed the opening with it a little, hoping to get the first inch in soon. 

“Relax.” He said. “It’ll be worse for you if you don’t.” 

Artemis fought to even his breath. He still shook from crying. Arthur was amazed he had tears left. 

The first half-inch went in and Artemis already seemed in pain. “Surely it doesn’t hurt that terribly,” Arthur said mockingly. “Surely you’ve have bigger things inside of you. This should be a breeze.” 

Artemis gritted his teeth, whether because of the pain or Arthur’s words, it was unclear. 

Arthur couldn’t wait a second longer. He shoved the next 4 inches of the handle inside. 

Artemis’ head hit the wall with a thud as he threw his head back from the pain. His mouth opened with another silent scream. 

Arthur’s cock twitched with anticipation. He knew he was close. He started thrusting the handle in and out cruelly. 

“Look at you, spreading your legs like a whore.” He taunted the boy, who was still holding his legs up. “You like this, don’t you?”

Artemis shook his head wildly. Arthur could tell he was trying to scream, but to no avail. 

Arthur thrust the handle wildly in and out, nearing his orgasm with every motion. The shaking, the tears, the silent, useless screams….

He came so hard he nearly blacked out. He let go of the handle, his cum landing mostly on Artemis’ legs and genitals. 

Arthur stood still for a moment after it was all over, trying to come down from his high. He grabbed the handle and removed it after a minute. 

Artemis lowered his legs and rolled over onto his side, in pain, still crying. 

Now that it was all over, Arthur found this more annoying than anything else. “Shut up.” He sounded tired, spent from his intense orgasm. “It’s over now anyway.” 

Arthur just wanted Artemis to leave now that he had everything he wanted from him. Also, he kind of wanted to sleep after the whole experience. 

“Put back on your clothes. Get out.” Arthur said, tossing the boy’s clothes at him. 

Artemis moved slowly, clearly sore from what had just happened, and pulled on his clothes, giving wary looks toward Arthur. 

“I’m done with you. Get out.” Arthur realizes now he never wiped off his cum off the boy but it didn’t really matter. He could clean up when he was alone. 

Artemis wiped his nose and eyes, crawling off the bed. He limped toward the door, unlatching it and giving the prince one last imperceptible look before leaving. 

Arthur crawled naked under his covers, thoroughly exhausted and satisfied with the whole experience. He replayed his favorite moments in his head until he fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

All in all, so far Merlin’s day off hadn’t been the greatest. The biggest reason being he had really wanted to spend it with Artemis. He hadn’t been able to find him all day, and now it was the middle of the afternoon. 

Merlin mostly wandered around outside, kind of shopping in the market but moreover bored. He wished he could be with someone rather than filling the hours by himself. 

Merlin finally decided to head back to his room. He had a couple of books he’d been wanting to finish for weeks now, so that should fill up a few hours. 

He arrived at his room and opened the door. He was pleasantly shocked to see Artemis sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed. “Hey there.” He smiled and went over to greet his lover with a kiss. 

Instead, when he got closer, he saw a look of pained misery in Artemis’ eyes. “What’s wrong, love?” He sat next to him and started soothingly rubbing his back automatically. 

Artemis sniffled and leaned into him, allowing Merlin to stroke his hair with his free hand. “Was someone mean to you today?” Merlin asked quietly. 

Artemis paused before nodding. “I’m sorry, love.” Merlin kissed him on top of his head. 

Artemis sniffled again, wrapping his left arm around Merlin’s waist. “I was looking for you all over, love. I have the day off if you’d like to spend it with me.” 

There was another pause, and he felt Artemis nod. Merlin put one finger under his chin to lift it up for a kiss and stopped when he saw Artemis’ tears streaming down his face. 

Merlin suddenly got the sense that something a little worse than someone just being mean to Artemis had happened. “What happened, love?” He asked, his tone soft and calm but a sense of dread rising in his chest. “Did someone hurt you?” 

Artemis sat up and tearfully showed Merlin his left wrist. There was a bruise on one side of his wrist where the delicate bone stuck out. 

Merlin immediately held his wrist to examine it further. “Did someone grab you?” Anger mixed with the dread in his chest. In the brief time that he had known Artemis, no one had actually struck him in anyway, as far as Merlin was aware. They might have been cruel to him, but only with their words. Merlin needed to find out who had done this to his lover. He prayed that Artemis could somehow tell him their name. 

Artemis wiped his nose with the back of his hand, then wiped away some of his tears. He got up and went to Merlin’s bookshelf where he kept some paper. He grabbed the inkwell and quill and sat down next to Merlin again. Still sniffling and occasionally wiping his nose with the back of his hand, he wrote something down and handed it to Merlin. 

Merlin saw the word  _ ‘hurt’  _ on the paper. He bit back some frustration. He understood Artemis had been hurt. He needed to know how badly, where, and especially  _ who  _ had hurt his lover. 

“Artemis,  _ where  _ are you hurt? Just the wrist?”

Artemis immediately looked downward like he was ashamed. He kept his head down for a long time, before inching closer and wrapping his arms around Merlin’s waist like he was seeking some sort of comfort. 

Merlin returned the embrace. “Love,  _ please _ . I need to know what happened so I can help you.” He nearly pleaded. 

Artemis showed no sign he had heard him until he broke the embrace. He grabbed the quill and paper again and wrote down another word. He showed it to Merlin. 

Next to his original word was the new word, ‘ _ hit’ _ . As Merlin read it, Artemis started slowly unlacing his breeches. 

Merlin’s heart stopped. He prayed that what he was starting to think happened to Artemis didn’t happen. 

Artemis looked ready to cry again as he pulled his breeches down to the floor. He stepped out of them and laid on his stomach on the bed, burying his face in Merlin’s pillow. 

Merlin felt sick and horrified when he saw the angry red marks on Artemis’ backside. It looked like someone had taken a belt to him. He couldn’t imagine the amount of force it would have taken to make marks like these on someone. They were definitely going to bruise later. 

“Artemis, I’m so sorry,” Merlin’s voice was choking up. “Who did this to you?” He hoped Artemis knew, and also could spell out, the offender’s name. 

Artemis was obviously avoiding his question. He kept his face buried in the pillow, refusing to look up or move. 

“Let me get you some salve. I won’t be long.” Merlin promised. He ducked outside the room and practically ran to one of the shelves to grab some healing salve. He planned on using a little magic to ease the pain and quicken the healing process. If only Artemis knew of his magic…. he’d take away the pain entirely and just heal him. 

Artemis still hadn’t moved when he came back. Merlin wasted no time applying the salve to his injuries.

Artemis didn’t deserve this, Merlin thought angrily, tears pricking at his eyes. Who would just grab him and do this to him? He kept to himself, he was obedient almost to a fault….. What sick person had decided he should hurt Artemis like this?

Artemis finally shifted after Merlin had been rubbing in the salve for a minute. Merlin continued his gentle rubbing, watching and waiting for when Artemis would lift his face out from the pillow. 

“I’m sorry, Artemis. I’m so sorry someone decided to do this to you.” Merlin murmured, his voice thick with emotion. He shut his eyes to avoid Artemis seeing the flash of gold and made his magic take some of the pain away for good. He heard Artemis shift again and sigh a little.

Artemis moved his head from the pillow to look at him again. Merlin used his free hand to rub his back soothingly. “I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to make sure you heal properly and feel better soon.” Merlin assured him. 

Artemis closed his eyes. Merlin continued rubbing, more for comfort than to get the salve in his skin by now. He checked to make sure every mark was properly covered. 

Merlin debated with himself if he should check to see if Artemis had been forced. Part of him thought Artemis would have showed him if he were, but the other half argued that Artemis had almost been too ashamed to even show him the whip marks. 

Merlin took a deep breath, and quickly looking to see if Artemis’ opening had been bruised or damaged in any way. 

Merlin’s stomach flipped. There was some blood caking the outside. There were tears in the skin. 

Feeling Merlin check him, Artemis jerked at once, and then burst into tears again. He buried his face back into the pillow and flipped onto his side. 

Merlin could have thrown up right then and there. He tried to get up but the room was spinning and he sat back onto the bed hard. 

There was a slurry of emotion in him. Revulsion and sadness were definitely there, along with horror and rage. Merlin wanted to cry, he wanted to throw up, he wanted to hold Artemis and comfort him. 

He wanted to kill the person who had done this. 

He slowly remembers that Artemis still needs treatment. He grabs a clean rag and dips it into a bucket of clean water right outside his door. 

Silently, he goes to clean the blood off of Artemis. The boy immediately wrenches away from the sensation of the cold rag and Merlin comfortingly places a hand on his arm. 

“Shhh, Artemis,” his own voice sounded far away. “I’m going to get you cleaned and healed up.” 

Artemis went still again, but twitched in pain as Merlin cleaned away the blood. 

Once the blood was gone, Merlin applied the salve. He started rubbing Artemis’ back again with his free hand to ease the discomfort and embarrassment.

“Almost done, love.” Merlin murmurs to him. “Would you let me- Would it be ok with you if I had to-” Merlin didn’t want to traumatize him any further, but he was positive Artemis had some damage on the inside and he wanted to not only apply a bit of the salve but also use some more of his magic to heal it secretly. 

Artemis gave him a curious look, not understanding. Merlin cleared his throat. “Would you let me put some salve… inside? It’ll help,” he added quickly, “It’ll heal you up much faster.”

Artemis looked like he wanted to say no. Then he chewed on his bottom lip and buried his face in the pillow again, spreading his legs a bit. 

Merlin assumed that was a yes. “If you want me to stop for a bit, hit the mattress or something.” He requested. Artemis nodded into the pillow. 

Merlin applied a heavy amount of salve to his finger, and as slowly as he could, carefully slipped his finger inside.

Artemis gasped and tensed up. Merlin made sure he was still face-down in the pillow and used some magic to take the pain away. Artemis started to relax again. 

Merlin tried to get an even coat in there, using bits of magic to heal the worst of the damage. He realized he was rubbing Artemis’ back with his left hand again in circles. He kept up with the applying of the salve as he leaned over to kiss Artemis on his left shoulder. “Please tell me who did this to you.” He begged in a whisper. “They can’t be allowed to get away with this.”

Merlin ran his left hand through the boy’s hair. “Don’t protect them, love. Arthur will see to it that they are punished for what they did.” 

Artemis tensed up again and Merlin heard him start to cry. “Shhh,” He whispered. “I know it’s hard. I know you probably want to move on as fast as possible, but this person needs to be brought to justice.” 

Artemis continued his shaking sobs into the pillow. Merlin sighed and pulled out his finger, wiping it off on the rag used previously to wipe off the remainder. There was some blood mixed in with the salve residue. He’d used magic to stop any further bleeding, take the pain away, and heal the worst of the cuts. Everything needed to heal up naturally now. 

Merlin gently tugged on Artemis’ right shoulder, encouraging him to roll onto his side. Artemis did so, and Merlin spooned him, placing another kiss on his neck. “I care about you so much, Artemis.” He said softly. “You’re the most important thing to me. I’m sorry if I was pressuring you into revealing who did this to you. I just can’t stand that you got hurt after I promised I would protect you.” Now Merlin was crying. Artemis responded to this by pressing up closer to him. Merlin wrapped his arm tighter around his waist. “I’ll let you get some rest. You can stay here as long as you want to. I’ll bring you dinner later, would you like that?”

Artemis nodded. Merlin kissed his neck again. He pulled up the blanket and covered his love. He eventually fell asleep with Artemis, face pressed into his hair, arm tight around him. 


	6. Chapter 6

Artemis awoke first. Merlin felt a gentle kiss pressed against his lips and he responded without thinking. 

Artemis snuggled up against him, chest to chest. Merlin embraced him again, eyes still closed. For a moment, it was as it should be. They were huddled together, Artemis occasionally pressing another quick, dry kiss to his lips. Merlin was happy. 

Then he remembered what had happened to Artemis. He opened his eyes, looking straight into Artemis’. 

“How do you feel, love?” Merlin asked, his voice still thick with sleep. Artemis’ face was puffy from all the crying, his eyes a little red, but he didn’t seem distressed or pained anymore. Merlin wasn’t sure if he should be relieved about that. 

Artemis kissed him again, looking concerned after Merlin didn’t return it. Merlin cupped his face. “How are you feeling, love?” He asked again. Artemis managed a quick smile and then snuggled up tight to Merlin. 

Merlin stroked his hair apprehensively. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Merlin said cautiously, worried by how quickly Artemis was moving on from what had happened. Maybe it was because it had happened to him before, years ago, but that thought didn’t make Merlin feel any better.

“Are you in any pain?” Merlin asked. Artemis shook his head. 

“Did you want to tell me more-?” Merlin was cut off at the end of his sentence by a kiss. Artemis held this one for a long time. Merlin returned the kiss this time. Then he was caught off guard when Artemis pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist playfully. He automatically went to go hold Artemis’ hips, but he wasn’t really feeling this like he normally would. 

Artemis had a playful smile on his face, but Merlin looked into his brown eyes. There was no sparkle. His eyes were dull, despite the bright attitude he seemed to be putting on. 

When Artemis leaned in for another kiss, Merlin stopped him. “Artemis,” he said, deadly serious. “What are you trying to do?”

Artemis’ smile faded and he looked melancholy again. Merlin felt guilty immediately. “I mean, I love doing this with you normally, but…. after what happened a few hours ago… Are you sure you’re ok?” 

Artemis looked downward. He was still for a minute. Then he shrugged.

“Artemis…. I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to eventually recover in every way and be okay. But please don’t fake being happy and force yourself to move on.” Merlin rubbed Artemis’ bare thigh, realizing just then that Artemis never put his breeches back on after Merlin treated him. “And eventually I hope you tell me who did this. I’ll make sure Arthur brings them to justice.” 

Artemis winced at that. He kept looking down. He picked at Merlin’s shirt hem. 

Merlin grew sad again at the thought of Artemis being hurt earlier today. He’d been looking all over for him. And Artemis was somewhere… maybe in a castle room, maybe in someone’s home… being tormented and hurt. He wondered if Artemis had thought about him while it was happening. Had he been hoping Merlin would stop it somehow?

The thought made tears sting at Merlin’s eyes. He’d promised Artemis over and over again that he would take care of him and nobody would ever harm him again after he learned of what had happened to Artemis years ago. 

When he gained Artemis’ trust a couple of months back, he’d learned from the words Artemis had written and the awkward miming that he had been hurt and tormented for years by 3 different men in his old village. They took advantage of his muteness and near illiteracy and abused and raped him without mercy. And he had to live in that village with them walking freely, being taken into their homes or a secluded spot in the woods whenever they felt like it and hurt. He was already an outcast with nobody he could trust and lean on, so he had nobody he could even try to tell.

“It’s not like it was back then,” Merlin said, almost too quietly. Artemis looked at him curiously. “You aren’t helpless. You can tell me who did this and they  _ can  _ be brought to justice.” He touched Artemis’ face. “Do you know how to write their name?”

Artemis furrowed his brow like he was thinking about it. He sighed in annoyance and shook his head. 

“Do they live in town?” Artemis shook his head. “In the castle?” Artemis paused before nodding yes. “Do I know them?” Artemis chewed his lip. He nodded slowly. Merlin was both excited to be making progress and also alarmed that he personally knew someone with the potential to do this. “Do they work in the kitchens?” 

Artemis huffed and got off of Merlin. Merlin sat up and watched him pull on his breeches. “Please don’t leave, love.” He nearly pleaded. “We can drop it for now.” 

Artemis gave him a look and grabbed the parchment paper again. He took the quill and hesitated. Merlin watched with anxiety as he finally slowly wrote something. He passed Merlin the paper, not meeting his eyes.

Merlin read the scribbled words ‘ _ king sun _ ’.

“ _ King sun _ ?” Merlin read out loud, puzzled. “I don’t know what that is… Do you mean like king’s  _ son _ ? Like prince?” 

Artemis nodded. 

“You want to go to the prince about this? I was planning on doing that anyw-”

Artemis actually stamped his foot and huffed in annoyance. He tapped the words on the paper again. 

“Yes, Prince Arthur. Right?” Merlin said. Artemis nodded and stared hard at him. 

“Ok, what about him?” Merlin asked. “Is it someone he knows? A knight? Is that why you are scared to say? Arthur would still be willing to punish one of his-”

Artemis gritted his teeth so hard in annoyance, Merlin feared they might shatter. He stamped his foot twice, and hit the paper over his words repeatedly. Then he showed Merlin his wrist again, tapping the area next to the bruise lightly. 

Merlin went cold. “I- Arthur?” He said, hoping against all hope it was another wrong guess. “Arthur…. did this to you?”

Artemis finally seemed satisfied and nodded. 

Merlin felt like the floor had fallen out from under him. There was a long silence. Merlin’s blood ran cold. He almost couldn’t register what he’d learned. Part of him didn’t want to believe it.

Arthur? 

_ Arthur? _

But…  _ why _ ? 

He didn’t realize Artemis had grabbed his hand at some point, holding it. 

He met Artemis’ eyes with great effort and saw concern in them. Artemis, who had been brutally hurt by the prince, was concerned at how  _ Merlin  _ was handling hearing about it. Was that why he was scared to tell him? 

He felt Artemis squeeze his hand and sit next to him. Merlin went back to staring at the words on the paper in his lap. 

Arthur. Prince Arthur. How could he even….  _ Why  _ would he even  _ want _ to hurt someone like this? 

Merlin might have only known him less than 6 months, but he could scarcely fathom  _ Arthur _ doing this to someone. Arthur was a spoiled prat, but Merlin never would have dreamed in a thousand years that he could have the capacity to harm another person the way he apparently did to Artemis. 

He became aware that Artemis was shaking his arm, trying to get his attention. He turned his head to face him with great effort, his mind still reeling with this new disturbing information. 

Artemis peered into his face anxiously. His eyes flickered over Merlin’s features, seeming to try and figure out what Merlin was thinking.

Merlin was still holding Artemis’ hand and so he gave it a quick squeeze, taking a deep breath before saying, “I broke a promise to you. I promised that no harm would come to you while I was with you. And you were hurt. And I’m so, so sorry, my love.” Artemis rested his head on Merlin’s shoulder. “And I promised you today that whoever did this would be brought to justice. And I intend to keep that promise.”


	7. Chapter 7

Merlin left Artemis with a small note that had a quick explanation of who he was and that he was sick and Merlin was treating him, just in case Gaius showed up and saw Artemis before Merlin could finish meeting with Arthur. 

It was a couple of hours before sunset, so Merlin guessed correctly that Arthur would be outside, finishing up knight training. 

He spotted him about to head into the armory to get his heavy armor taken off and ran up to him before he went inside. 

“Arthur.” He said simply, stepping almost directly in front of him. 

Arthur looked surprised to see him. “Merlin? It’s your day off, I didn’t expect to see you at all.” 

“I need to speak with you.”

“I’m busy, Merlin.” Arthur brushed him off. “I’m sweltering hot in this armor and I don’t have time to stop and shoot the breeze with you right now.” 

“It’s important.” Merlin crossed his arms, stepping in front of Arthur again when the prince tried to go past him. He noticed the knights staring at them. 

“Merlin.” Arthur said tersely. “Step aside right now. Need I remind you that I am your prince-” 

“I know what you did.” Merlin said in a low voice. 

Arthur stopped. He glanced at his knights, who had stopped everything and were watching this interaction. Merlin saw Arthur swallow before putting on a light tone and saying, “Give me a minute to get my armor taken off, alright? I’ll meet you in my chambers.” 

“I’ll meet you by the hedge garden.” Merlin said. He saw a flash of annoyance in Arthur’s eyes.

“Fine.” The prince said tensely. “By the hedge garden.” 

Merlin nodded and headed that way.

******************************************************************************

Merlin waited for about 20 minutes before Arthur showed up. He straightened up when he saw him and tried to look stern and formidable.

“Merlin.” Arthur greeted him coldly. “What’s all this about then?”

“You know what it’s about.” Merlin searched his face for any guilt or shame, but found nothing. 

“I don’t actually,” Arthur snapped. “You came up to me, spoke to me disrespectfully in front of my knights, and demanded to speak with me. I’m completely lost as to what you want.”

“You hurt Artemis.” Merlin said, his voice full of contempt. Again, he waited for some sign of recognition of the name, or discomfort, but Arthur’s face revealed nothing. 

“I’ve no clue who that is.” Arthur said flippantly.

“You brought him into your chambers. And you hurt him.” Merlin felt rage building up in him as he struggled to appear stern and calm.

Arthur let out a harsh, quick laugh. “I’ve no idea who this person is, first of all. And I’m not in the habit of dragging servants into my chambers and doling out punishments.”

Merlin gritted his teeth. “Artemis is my friend, Arthur. And he showed up in my chambers today and he showed me his marks and told me what you did.”

Arthur scoffed. “Just because he’s your friend, doesn’t mean he’s not a liar. Also, maybe you should warn your friend that spreading lies like that about the king’s son could get him in big trouble.” 

Merlin could have punched him. Artemis wouldn’t lie. He had no reason to. Merlin wasn’t about to break another promise to his lover. He promised him justice and he would get it. 

“He showed me his bruises.” Merlin repeated. “He showed me all the damage YOU caused. He was a crying mess, Arthur. There’s no way he was making it all up.” 

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Do you honestly believe I would abuse a servant? We’ve known each other long enough that I would hope you wouldn’t believe that I would take a servant and attack him out of the blue. Merlin,” his voice took on a ‘ _ be reasonable _ ’ tone, “Think about it. It doesn’t make any sense.” 

Merlin tried to speak but faltered. Artemis  _ had  _ to be telling the truth. He was afraid to even tell Merlin. If Merlin hadn’t pressed and pushed for a name, Artemis would never have told him.

Arthur had hurt him. Merlin didn’t  _ enjoy _ believing that, but he had to side with his lover. 

“ _ Mer _ lin.” He heard Arthur say. He didn’t realize he was staring at the ground and it took a lot of effort to meet Arthur’s gaze.

The prince stepped closer and placed a hand on Merlin’s shoulder. Merlin flinched against his own will. “I had thought we trusted each other.” Arthur sounded disappointed. “I don’t understand how you could abandon all trust and faith in me because of the lies of another servant.” His hand slid away from Merlin’s shoulder. 

“Arthur…” Merlin hesitated. “He’s- he’s my friend. And when he came to me… I don’t see a reason why he would have lied to me…”

Artemis  _ wouldn’t _ have lied to him, Merlin thought. He just  _ wouldn’t _ . But was Arthur  _ really  _ capable of raping another person? Neither things made sense to him. 

Arthur looked sympathetic. “I understand we want to help our friends, and believe them when they come to us with their problems. But there has to be a limit. I know you are a good person, Merlin. But you can’t just blindly trust in everything someone tells you.”

There was an awkward silence. Arthur broke it first. “I hope you’ll show up for work tomorrow. I’m willing to forget this entire thing.”

Something about that sentence made Merlin wince. If Arthur  _ had  _ done something, he’d of course want to put it behind him as quickly as possible. But if he hadn’t… then this was his honest effort at forgiving and forgetting a horrible accusation. 

Merlin’s mind still reeled but he managed a nod. “I’ll- I’ll be there.” He muttered. 

Arthur clapped his shoulder good-naturedly. “Great,” he said with a bright smile. Before Merlin could say or do anything else, he was gone. 

Merlin had to sit on the grass. Artemis would not have lied. But how was Arthur capable of what Artemis had accused him of? Was there even the slightest possibility Artemis accused the wrong person? And what was Merlin going to tell Artemis when he got back?

  
  


******************************************************************************

  
  


Merlin wandered in a daze back to his room. Gaius was nowhere to be seen but Artemis was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for him. He looked eager and anxious to hear what Merlin had to say. 

Merlin sat next to his lover. He’d been practicing exactly what to say on the way over. He cleared his throat and held one of Artemis’ hands. 

“I want you to know that I believe what happened to you.” Merlin said first. Artemis seemed attentive. “And that there  _ will  _ be justice brought down for what happened to you. But… you have to understand… I’m just a servant. I will do everything in my power to make justice happen eventually but for now… We have to bide our time. We have to wait. I need to gather more evidence and-” He was interrupted by a rough but happy kiss. He jumped a little when he received it.

Artemis was grinning when he pulled back. Merlin cleared his throat. Maybe Artemis didn’t understand. “He’s the _prince_ , Artemis. And I’m a servant. It will take time, but in the future-”

Artemis kissed him again and at least this time Merlin was half-expecting it. He placed his hand lovingly under Artemis’ chin, half for the affection it showed and half so he wouldn’t interrupt him again. “Do you understand, Artemis? That this will take time? I will make sure justice will happen but for now… We just need to be patient.”

Artemis nodded. Happiness shone in his eyes. Merlin understood why. “You- You’ve never had someone on your side after something like this happened before, have you?” Artemis shook his head. “You’ve never had someone there to comfort you before….” Artemis squeezed his hand and smiled a little again. Merlin leaned in and kissed him. “I’ll always be there for you, love. You are so very important to me.” He murmured in his lover’s ear. Artemis shivered happily.

Merlin leaned back to look into Artemis’ face seriously. “I need you to avoid the prince at all costs. If he tries to summon you into his room, tell me about it. If you see him, I need you to get away as quick as you can. Remember when you wrote ‘ _ King sun _ ’ on the paper? If he tries to summon you to his room, write that exact thing down on paper and give it to me. I’ll take care of it.” 

Whether Artemis was dragged by force or summoned to the prince in the first place, Merlin wanted all of his bases covered. Artemis needed to avoid Arthur no matter what it took. This would  **_not_ ** happen again.

_ If it even was the prince _ , a voice nagged in his head. And **_i_** _**f** Artemis didn’t make it all up.  _ Merlin tried to push it away but it wasn’t leaving. 

It was a paradox to Merlin. Artemis couldn’t have made it up. Merlin saw the marks and the damage with his own eyes. But Arthur couldn’t have the evil capacity in him to do that to Artemis. Merlin worked for him every day. He was spoiled rotten, he had a temper, but abusing and raping a stablehand was a completely different story. 

Merlin was torn. He had no idea what to do. He’d be forced to continue working for a man who may have hurt his lover until he figured it all out.


	8. Chapter 8

Arthur was grinning ear to ear when he returned to his chambers. His temporary servant was there pouring him his bath water.

Arthur ignored him, going behind his changing screen and tossing his sweat-drenched clothes over the screen. 

He had figured Artemis might run directly to Merlin after it all happened. He feared no repercussions from his actions. Merlin was just a simple servant. There was just nothing he could do in retaliation. Even if Merlin had run straight to the king, he probably would have been thrown into the dungeons without another thought once Uther heard the accusation. Arthur’s father tended to side with the royal court against the words of a servant in most matters. 

Arthur came out from behind the changing screen and got into the tub. He dunked his head under the water and then took the soap the servant handed him and started lathering it into his hair. 

He considered Artemis, and the pleasure the boy had given him unintentionally. But thinking now, he had really meant it when he snapped at the boy that he ‘had no further use for him’. Arthur was done with him. The wordless cries of a mute servant and the sobs he emitted could only take Arthur so far. It truly had been the best climax Arthur had ever had, but he knew he wanted words, pleads, and muffled screams. Artemis was a great starter course. Arthur was ready to move on to other things.

  
  


******************************************************************************

It took a lot of convincing, but Artemis was allowed to stay the night in Merlin’s room. Merlin pulled Gaius to the side that evening and told him Artemis had been targeted and hurt by someone, and Merlin was terrified it might happen again. He was nearly begging Gaius to give Artemis the spare sleeping pallet and let him sleep on the floor in Merlin’s room. 

Gaius seemed annoyed, but he didn’t seem suspicious about Merlin and Artemis’ ‘friendship’. 

The second Merlin heard Gaius’ snores after they went to bed, Artemis climbed into Merlin’s bed after Merlin bolted the door, just in case.

They pressed up against each other, kissing passionately. Merlin thought over and over, ‘ _ it won’t happen to him again; I’ll keep him safe _ ’ as their tongues slickly intertwined.

Artemis kept pressing against him tighter and tighter, even putting his hand on the back of Merlin’s head and pulling him closer, like he wanted to be as close to Merin as he possibly could be. 

As the kisses slowed down, and they started to fall asleep, Merlin couldn’t help but think how right all of this felt. 

  
  


******************************************************************************

Merlin actually showed up to work the next day. Arthur honestly didn’t think he would. The chipperness was gone, naturally. He performed his morning duties without much of a word to the prince. He gave him his breakfast, helped him get dressed, then took his laundry to be cleaned. And that was it. No friendly words, no stupid jokes that made Arthur roll his eyes. 

This would all blow over eventually, the prince was sure. Merlin’s suspicions would die away, and things would return to normal. 

Arthur ate the breakfast Merlin had brought for him, then headed out. 

He was on his way to ask his father something about an upcoming event when he almost ran into a servant. 

“Sorry, my lord.” The servant muttered sincerely. He was carrying a tray with some food on it. He quickly bowed before the prince as well as he could while carrying all of that food, and started on his way again. 

“Wait,” Arthur called him back. He wasn’t sure why until the servant stopped and turned to face him again, looking puzzled. 

Arthur realized what had caught his eye. This servant looked eerily similar to Merlin… Not twins, but they could have definitely been brothers. This servant’s hair was shaggier, however, he was a couple of inches shorter, and he looked like he got a bit more sun than Arthur’s oddly pale manservant.

“What’s your name, boy?” Arthur demanded rather than asked. 

“Robin, my lord.” 

“Isn’t that a girl’s name?”

The servant looked like he was trying not to be offended. “I- I was named after my uncle, actually.” 

“I see.” Arthur glanced at the food. “Who do you serve?”

“I am the personal servant to Lord Dietrich, sire.” Robin said. 

“Ah.” Arthur had never liked that lord very much.

The more he looked at Robin, the more he appreciated his looks. He was thin, but not gangly and awkward like Merlin. His face wasn’t sharp and angular. It had smooth edges. He did have those high cheekbones, however. His eyes were a dark blue. He had a small scar across his nose.

“My lord?” Robin asked uncertainly. “Was there something you would like me to do?” 

“... Yes.” Arthur said. “Come to my chambers around sunset.” 

  
  
  


**TWO WEEKS LATER**

Artemis was staying permanently with Merlin in his room, despite a lot of complaints from Gaius initially. But Merlin knew that Gaius understood that Artemis was an easy target, and it would not do for him to keep being targeted by certain people who wanted to take out their anger or perversions on him. 

Gaius didn’t know  **_exactly_ ** what had happened to Artemis, but he had the general idea. And it was not in his nature to throw someone out who needed help and shelter. Merlin never did find out exactly where Artemis used to sleep. He knew for a fact he didn’t have his own house. Perhaps he slept in the kitchens before, but it wasn’t important now. 

Every night, once Gaius’ snores could be heard, Merlin would bolt the door and Artemis would climb into the bed, where they would spend time showing the affection they couldn’t during the day. 

They tried to keep messes to a minimum. Gaius would definitely know something was up if Merlin was washing his sheets every other day.

There was one night Artemis got a bit too into the love-making and sucked a mark onto Merlin’s neck. He was very grateful that he was known for wearing scarves when that happened. 

Merlin often wondered if Gaius suspected them. He assumed not, but seeing as how Gaius was accepting of his magic, maybe he would accept the fact that Merlin had a male lover he was regularly intimate with. But Merlin wasn’t definite either way. 

To say Merlin loved having Artemis live with him was a vast understatement. He looked forward to nighttime every single time, when he would whisper soft, loving words into Artemis’ ears, watching his lover arch up with pleasure as they made love, trying to memorize the looks of dazed rapture as Merlin would perform favors on him. 

Two things bothered Merlin that he would never bring up. One was the fact that Artemis had always been resistant to having sex while he was lying on his back. He would ride Merlin with no problem, and preferred to be on all fours, but he would seize up if Merlin tried to prepare him or penetrate him while Artemis was lying on his back. Merlin assumed that must had been the position he was forced into while he was being abused years ago. 

The other thing was a recent development. Artemis refused to suck on Merlin’s fingers now. Merlin was disappointed, of course, but he didn’t push the issue after he tried to stick two fingers into Artemis’ mouth and he immediately turned his head and pushed Merlin’s hand away. Merlin wasn’t sure what had changed, but Artemis no longer allowed that to happen. Hopefully that would change someday. He missed the feeling of Artemis sucking on two or three of his fingers at a time. For now, Merlin added that to his mental list of things Artemis refused to do. 

Artemis could not be on his back if Merlin was trying to initiate sex. 

Artemis allowed saliva, however, Merlin could not actually spit if he was trying to wet his entrance during preparation. 

Any amount of spanking, even a light slap on the thigh, would end their lovemaking session at once. Merlin had only tried it once, months ago, when they were first becoming intimate. He lightly smacked Artemis on his backside, more to be playful, and Artemis stopped things at once and refused to continue. Merlin felt awful when that happened.

Light nips were fine, no actual biting. Merlin was ok with that rule. He wasn’t much into biting anyway.

No hands around his throat. Merlin found that out the hard way when he went to lightly put his right palm around Artemis’ throat, not to squeeze, just to lightly rub as he planted kisses across Artemis’ chest. Artemis had shoved him away and started crying and Merlin felt stupid at once for trying that. Obviously he should have known that was a bad idea. 

And now, no fingers in his mouth. That was going to be hard to adjust to. 

Clearly, Artemis trusted Merlin. But certain things triggered him, and Merlin wanted to avoid those triggers as much as possible. 

He loved the happy looks on his lover’s face, the way his head tilted back in bliss and and he would shiver and gasp in delight as they did things together. He never wanted that to stop. 

Artemis loved being prepared, loved having fingers in him and being whispered to softly as Merlin would slowly ease himself in.

Artemis loved sucking on Merlin’s cock. He loved swallowing every bit of his seed. 

Artemis loved being pet. 

Artemis loved it when Merlin would grab their cocks together in one hand and stroke them at the same time. 

Artemis loved riding Merlin, although he wasn’t the best at it. His rhythm was off and he sometimes sat a bit too hard onto Merlin when he would lower himself. But the look on his face was so lovely, Merlin endured it. 

He apparently liked sucking marks onto Merlin now, although Merlin tended to discourage it. 

Artemis loved kissing Merlin everywhere, especially his chest.

Artemis loved playing with Merlin’s hair and having his be played with in return. 

Artemis just loved being with Merlin.

  
  


******************************************************************************

Arthur just could not grow tired of Robin. 

He had intended for it to be a one and done deal when he had invited the servant to his chambers 2 weeks ago for the first time. 

He’d locked the door, stood before Robin and roughly kissed him, ending the kiss with a firm bite on his lower lip. Imagine his surprise when Arthur pulled back to look at him and Robin had a dazed, lust-filled look in his eyes. It shocked Arthur, so he did it again. And again. He roughly pushed his tongue into the servant’s mouth, and bit down when Robin returned the gesture. Arthur’s heart leapt as Robin groaned in pleasure. 

Arthur had pulled away then, bewildered, and took off his belt, ordering Robin to bend and put his hands on the table. He wasn’t sure how to feel when he struck Robin for the first time across his backside and Robin groaned again before breathily saying, “yes, my lord.”

Arthur stopped and stepped back, then circled the servant. Robin’s eyes had been filled with a kind of pleasure. He was biting his own lip. Arthur had felt himself get aroused at the sight, at what this meant.

Twenty minutes later, both of their clothes were off, and Arthur was laying marks all across Robin’s body while the servant gasped in pleasure and pain and begged for more, thanking him after he would be struck. Arthur only lasted a half an hour total before he climaxed hard onto the floor. 

Robin shyly requested he be allowed to finish himself off. Arthur allowed it. Robin came about a minute later. 

And Arthur had requested he come back tomorrow evening.

And the next. 

And the next.

Arthur was amazing at how much Robin loved the pain, and the marks, and the black and blue bruises Arthur gave to him. He thanked Arthur after each session, like Arthur was doing **him** a favor. It was an interesting puzzle, to be sure.

  
  


******************************************************************************

Arthur sent Merlin away for the evening, giving his usual order to be back after nightfall. He waited restlessly until Robin came in. 

Robin locked the door behind him, then stood obediently in front of the prince. 

Arthur circled him first, like he always did. 

“Happy anniversary, my lord.” Robin murmured. 

“Excuse me?” Arthur said. 

“Two week anniversary, sire. Since you first invited me here.” 

“Ah.” Arthur undid his belt. “Anniversaries are usually yearly.” 

Robin shrugged, licking his lips with anticipation as Arthur folded the belt in half. He closed his eyes as Arthur leaned in and kissed him on the neck. It was a light press, more for affection than anything else. 

They kissed. It didn’t feel right to Arthur to start the abuse any other way.

“How are your bruises?” Arthur asked, pulling away.

“Plenty and painful, my lord.” Robin answered. Arthur smirked. “Would you like some more added to the collection?” He asked teasingly. 

“Always.” Robin eyed the belt with some eagerness in his eyes. 

“On your knees.” 

Robin obeyed at once. 

“Do the other servants ask you about your bruises?” 

“No, my lord. I don’t think they can see them.”

“Would it shame you if they saw your collection?”

Robin licked his lips, then looked down. “Perhaps a little.” He admitted. “I try to hide my… unusual desires.”

Without warning, Arthur backhanded him across the face. It made a sickening sound that made Arthur’s arousal twitch. 

Robin gasped, his hand going to gingerly touch his face where he had been struck. Then he closed his eyes, pleasure painting his features. 

Arthur made him lower his hand, then backhanded him in the same spot, and then a third time. Robin gasped both times, keeping his eyes closed. “Good luck hiding that bruise.” Arthur said with a smirk. 

“My- my lord.” Robin timidly opened his eyes. His cheek was swelling already.

“When we first met, I said you have a girl’s name.” Arthur reminisced. “Are you embarrassed by your name?” 

“No, sire.” Robin said truthfully. “I meet more men with my name than women.” 

“I might change it.” Arthur mused. Robin looked at him curiously. “What would you call me instead, sire?” He asked. 

“The only people I meet who willingly go to people’s houses or rooms and enthusiastically engage in degrading acts are called whores.” Arthur said. He slapped the belt lightly against his own thigh. “Do you agree?”

Robin hesitated. “I- I guess so.”

“Technically, you are on your knees in front of me, waiting to receive acts that will only serve to pleasure me. I think that is what a whore does. This name suits you.” Arthur decided. 

Robin lowered his gaze. “I’m whatever you need me to be, sire.” 

“Up.” Arthur ordered. “Clothes off, let me see you.”

Robin obeyed. Once his clothes were gone, Arthur could clearly see his arousal. He scoffed. “I’ve barely done anything to you and you’re already hard?” He scolded. Robin bit his lip. “Sorry, my lord.”

“Stand in front of the fireplace, whore.” Arthur ordered, taking off his own shirt. 

Robin stood in front of the fire. Arthur admired the dark, thick bruises that covered his backside, his lower back, and his thighs. He walked over to Robin again, laying a hand on top of a bruise and pressing in. Robin gasped and his eyes rolled to the back of his head immediately. Arthur saw his cock twitch with interest. “My lord.” Robin murmured, almost as if he couldn’t help it. 

“You love these bruises?”

“Yes.”

“You look at them in the mirror, don’t you? You like how they look.”

“I do, sire.”

“You probably press them yourself. You like the pain.”

“I do, sire. So much.” Robin agreed softly and enthusiastically with everything Arthur said. 

“What if I gave you a scar as well? Something permanent.” Arthur lifted his chin up and made him look at his face. “The bruises would heal, but the scar would always be there for you to touch, and remember our time together.” 

Surely there had to be a limit to what this servant was willing to do, but Robin actually moaned. “I’d love that so much, my lord.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows at that. “Maybe one day. Not today.”

Robin made a noise in protest but Arthur ignored it. “Today you get on all fours in front of the fire.” Robin assumed that position at once. “Look up at me. Don’t stop looking.”

Robin’s chest was heaving. Arthur cracked his belt against his already damaged skin. He cried out. Arthur laid 4 more in rapid succession and Robin was choking back his sobs, his eyes tearing up against his will. His gaze at the prince didn’t waver. 

“It hurts, yes?”

“So… so much.”

“You deserve it?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Robin hesitated, searching for the answer his prince wanted. “Because… I’m just a servant.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “You. Are. A. Whore.” Each word was punctuated with another hit. 

Robin gasped in pain. “Yes, yes, sorry, my lord. I’m just a whore.”

“Elbows on the floor. Keep your backside in the air.” Arthur ordered. Robin did so. Arthur took a moment to appreciate the sight. Robin’s eyes still watched him, not daring to disobey the previous order about looking away. Arthur could see his arousal twitching and it almost made him smile. Robin was too easy. 

“You like men?” Arthur asked, taking one hand and rubbing some of the bruises roughly, causing Robin to jerk. 

“Yes.”

“You like women?”

Robin glanced down for half a second like he was ashamed before looking back up. “No, sire. I don’t.”

“You’ve been intimate with a man? Done favors, had sex?”

“No, sire.”

Arthur’s eyebrows raised. “You’re a virgin?”

Robin swallowed. “Yes.”

“Would you like me to take that from you?”

Robin gasped involuntarily. “Um. I… Sire?” He seemed to flounder. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“I asked, would you like me to deflower you?”

“I would be honored, my lord.” Robin breathed.

Arthur lowered himself in front of the servant. He touched under his chin. “You’d like me to take you just like this? In front of the fire?”

“Yes, please, my lord.”

Arthur almost said something else before bursting out laughing. “That’s not going to happen.” He stood up. 

Robin’s eyes widened in shock. “What? Why not?” He blurted out.

“Because I don’t debase myself with men.” Arthur said, letting his voice drip with venom. 

Robin’s face scrunched up. “But we… we do this?”

“Do you think that this is sex, Robin?”

“No, but… we kiss. And I just thought...”

“You thought… what? That I'm attracted to you?” Arthur laughed again. “You’re a  _ servant _ . And I could never bring myself to engage in intercourse with a man either way.”

Arthur left out the fact that he was also a virgin. This was about shaming and humiliating Robin. And Arthur couldn’t care less if he ever stuck his cock in another person. But it seemed to bother Robin that he hadn’t had sex yet. So Arthur chose to use it against him. 

Robin looked like he might cry but he fought it down. He sniffled a little instead. 

“Is this not enough for you? We can stop this entirely. You don’t ever have to come back.” Arthur shrugged like it didn’t matter to him either way. 

“No! I want this to keep happening. I’m sorry, I just thought maybe you were attracted to me…”

Arthur sneered at that. “No. Not at all. But I  _ do _ need someone to deride and beat, and you seem to be a pretty willing participant, so I keep you around.”

Robin considered that. Arthur interrupted his internal musings with a firm smack to his legs with the belt. Robin cried out.

“Enough of this.” Arthur decided. “Get up. Get in my bed.”

Robin obeyed his order, climbing into the giant bed. He waited for further instructions.

Arthur took the rest of his own clothes off. “I’m going to punish you so badly that you’ll be in pain all day tomorrow.” He promised. “You’re going to regret you ever agreed to be my whore.” 

And yet, after it was all over, and Robin was a panting, crying mess, he still agreed to come back tomorrow, thanking the prince for the bruises and the immense pain that he’d caused.

Arthur liked that about Robin a lot more than he was willing to let on. 

  
  


******************************************************************************

Later that same night, after Merlin had gotten Arthur ready for bed and took care of his final duties, Artemis and Merlin were laying intertwined in bed, occasionally kissing, mostly enjoying each other’s company.

In a different part of the castle, Robin was wincing as he got ready for bed, both satisfied and hating himself for what he did with the prince night after night.


	9. Chapter 9

Merlin and Gaius were finishing up their breakfast while Artemis headed out the door to start his workload. 

Once Artemis was gone, Gaius cleared his throat, causing Merlin to look at him. “Merlin,” he started, “I hope you’re being careful around the castle.”

“Of course, Gaius.” Merlin assured him. “If I have to use magic, I always make sure no one else is around first.”

“I’m not just talking about the magic.” Gaius said. “It’s about you and Artemis.”

Merlin’s heart jumped with fear. He tried to look normal. “What about me and Artemis?” He tried to sound casual. 

Gaius raised an eyebrow. “Merlin, don’t even try to pretend.” He lightly scolded. “You and Artemis are together, aren’t you?”

Merlin went to take a small sip of water to give him time to think about what to say next. Unfortunately, he was so anxious that he took a bigger gulp than expected and choked a little. He coughed for a few seconds while Gaius patiently waited. 

“We, um,” Merlin coughed again, “We are pretty close friends, and sometimes I think people misunderstand-”

“Merlin.” Gaius said sharply. “You’re a terrible liar. You and Artemis are romantically involved, aren’t you?”

Merlin couldn’t look at him. Would Gaius kick Artemis out if he knew? Would he kick them both out? “I…. We are… together… in a sense.” He muttered. He kept staring at his empty breakfast bowl, unable to look at Gaius. 

“For how long?” 

“A few months, I think.” Merlin answered. His heart was pounding. “Please, Gaius. He needs a place to stay. He needs to stay close to me, so I can protect him.”

“You certainly have a complex when it comes to trying to protect people.” Gaius said dryly. 

“He really was hurt.” Merlin rushed his words. “He was hurt once before, years ago, and I promised him I would keep him safe, and he got hurt again. I couldn’t stand it if it happened again because I wasn’t there. Please-”

“Merlin, take a breath.” Gaius said. “I’m not sending him away. I understand the situation. I  _ did  _ believe you two were just friends at first and you were doing a good thing for him. It only took me a few days to figure out you two have feelings for each other.”

“Are you… okay with that?” Merlin asked tentatively. 

Gaius considered for a moment, then heaved out a great sigh. “I’m too old to care about who chooses to be with who.” He said. “If you like Artemis, then that’s fine with me.”

Merlin was about to thank him when Gaius continued. “But I’ll tell you who it isn’t fine with. The king. At best, you would lose your job and be kicked out of Camelot. At worst, you would be put to death. You know these kinds of relationships are barely tolerated in the kingdom, but in the castle? Right under the king’s nose? All it takes is the wrong person finding out and it could be your head.”

Merlin’s heart sank. He knew, in the back of his mind, what the consequences could be for this. It didn’t make sense to him why a king should care who loves who. But that’s how it was. 

He felt lucky that no one in the castle who had ever witnessed them together had decided to tell the king. Most of the servants couldn't care less. But it only takes one to rat him out…

Merlin suddenly felt dumb for ever boldly flirting with Artemis to see him blush in front of some other servants, or the time he kissed Artemis in front of some of the laundry maids to make them giggle and squeal at the sight. That had been…. incredibly stupid to do, now that he thought about it. 

But that was months ago, when their relationship was starting out and they weren’t as serious as they were now. He’d never do that now.

“Do you understand?” Gaius asked. “I need you to be extra careful, for yours and Artemis’ sake.”

“I understand, Gaius.”

******************************************************************************

Later that night, after Artemis crawled into Merin’s bed with him, Merlin told him that Gaius had figured out that they were lovers.

Artemis’ eyes went wide with fear until Merlin comforted him. “He’s alright, he won’t tell anyone, we just have to keep being careful. We can’t risk any rendezvous’ in empty rooms in the middle of the day anymore.” He had always known in the back of his mind that doing things with Artemis in the castle was a risky move, but what Gaius said earlier increased his fear, which was probably a good thing.

Artemis seemed to get it, and kissed Merlin lightly on the lips. Merlin pressed their foreheads together. “If anything happened to you, I don’t know what I would do.” He murmured softly. He could tell Artemis felt the same.

“Has the prince tried to talk to you recently? Tried to summon you again?”

Artemis shook his head, rolling onto his back. Merlin raised up on his side to look down at him. “I know you’re tired of me asking. I just want to make sure everything is ok with you.”

Artemis pulled him down into another kiss. They continued to make out for several minutes. Artemis nudged his waist with one hand, encouraging Merlin to straddle him. Merlid did so, carefully, trying not to trigger anything, but Artemis seemed alright. Their lips met again, and Merlin rubbed his arousal against Artemis’, causing him to arch up into it.

Merlin pulled back when he realized Artemis was undoing his own breeches, breathlessly pulling them down and trying to get Merlin to wrap his hand around his rapidly hardening cock. 

Merlin carefully did what he was asking, pumping the length steadily and watching Artemis’ face for any signs of discomfort or wanting to stop. But Artemis’ looked completely calm and at ease, occasionally rutting into Merlin’s steady strokes.

Merlin laid beside him. He pressed a kiss to Artemis’ chest. He smelled clean, but there was always the underlying scent of horses that never really went away. Merlin didn’t mind. He thought it was cute and a pleasant scent to have.

Merlin removed his hand for a brief second to spit a glob of saliva into it so it might feel even nicer for Artemis. At the sound of Merlin spitting, Artemis’ eyes flew open and he looked sharply at Merlin before realizing he had only spit into his hand. He calmed down at once and settled back down.

“This is ok?” Merlin made sure before he went to wrap his hand around Artemis’ length again. At Artemis’ nod, he continued his strokes. 

He could tell Artemis preferred the slick saliva to a dry hand. He smiled a little and sighed, shifting against the mattress. 

Merlin kept pressing light kisses to his lover’s chest and stomach. He heard Artemis start to pant as his orgasm neared after only a few minutes of Merlin stroking him. Merlin sped up slightly, trying not to lose the rhythm. He felt Artemis’ cock stiffen and he quickly placed his mouth just on the tip of it. 

He heard the heavy panting and the pleasured sighs as Artemis came into his mouth. It was thick and a lot more than Merlin had been expecting. The salty, musky taste filled his mouth and he groaned with delight because of it. Merlin had always thought that Artemis tasted better than any past partners he’d had.

Once Artemis was done, Merlin pulled off, his mouth still full of Artemis’ seed. He went to swallow it but Artemis urgently tugged on his shirt and opened his own mouth. 

Merlin hesitated. Was Artemis’ asking for…. what Merlin thought he was asking for? They’d never tried anything like it…

Merlin slowly lowered himself down and went to kiss Artemis, giving him plenty of time to stop it if Merlin had misunderstood. Instead, Artemis shut his eyes and lifted his chin to receive the kiss. 

Merlin went for it. Their mouths locked and he carefully let some of the seed spill into his lover’s mouth. Artemis sighed in ecstasy.

Well that was… new and interesting. 

Merlin was a little shocked that Artemis was into this, and even more so that he himself was thoroughly enjoying it as well. They shared the seed between themselves, mixing it with their saliva, their tongues intertwining, Artemis twisting his hands into Merlin’s hair.

Once they were thoroughly satisfied with that, Merlin pulled away. He was so hard it was getting painful. “Will you let me cum inside of you, love?” He asked softly, out of breath. 

At that, Artemis flipped over onto his stomach and spread his legs. Merlin wasted no time prepping him, getting his fingers thoroughly wet, stretching out his lover’s entrance. He was completely entranced by how tight he was, how incredibly hot he felt. Artemis was grabbing the headboard, loud breaths escaping him as Merlin added a third finger, pumping them in and out. 

Artemis pressed back against him, the typical sign he gave when he wanted Merlin to hurry up and get inside of him. Merlin ignored it, pulling out his fingers and immediately pressing his face against Artemis’ opening, tonguing it like his life depended on it. 

He felt Artemis jerk and heard him huff loudly. Merlin grabbed his hips and set to work trying to get his tongue into him. Artemis was very nearly shaking with pleasure, panting and pressing against him, his way of encouraging Merlin to please keep going.

Merlin was practically drooling. He let some of the saliva build up in his mouth, which was pressed tight against his lover’s entrance, and soundlessly spit it inside of Artemis. This luckily didn’t seem to bother Artemis, if he even noticed.

Merlin went back to tonguing his slick opening, moaning as his tongue went in a little. He tried to move it up and down to no avail. He contented himself with shoving it in and out of that tight opening, spurred on by Artemis’ shakes and panting. 

He had no clue how long he was doing that until his jaw got sore. He tiredly pulled away, replacing his fingers inside again. He slicked up his cock with his spit and worked his fingers in and out until he was satisfied with how open Artemis felt. 

He got into position and slid all the way in. Artemis threw his head back, his fingers gripping the headboard tightly. Merlin knew he wasn’t going to last long. 

“Hey, Artemis.” He whispered. Artemis turned his head slightly to indicate he was listening. “You have any idea how amazing you feel?” Merlin continued. He tried to distract himself from his orgasm that was fast approaching by taking the time to rub Artemis’ back as he thrusted. “You’re so tight. You’re always so full of heat and the way you tremble while I’m in you is the best feeling in the world.”

Artemis released the headboard and gripped the pillow at hearing that and Merlin saw that his mouth was hanging open with pleasure. He kept going, not usually one for dirty talk but he couldn’t stop himself at Artemis’ reactions. 

“I’ve never had anyone like you. I’m not even sure anyone exists that could match how amazing you feel when I’m inside of you. You’re so perfect. And they way you taste, by the gods…” Merlin sped up his thrusts. “Every part of you tastes amazing. Whether I’m prepping you, kissing your mouth or skin, or swallowing your cum, everything tastes like pure heaven.”

Artemis’ eyes were half-shut in bliss, his mouth still hanging open. Merlin wanted to keep talking, keep waxing poetic about how lovely and perfect he was, but his orgasm came fast and hard. He spilled into his lover and almost collapsed on top of him. He managed to hold himself up, pulling out and rolling off of Artemis. He scooted up to be face to face with his lover, who was clearly still lost in pure bliss, if his face was anything to go by. 

Merlin kissed him. “I meant every word I said,” He whispered. “You are quite simply the best.”

  
  


******************************************************************************

“You are quite simply the worst, Robin.” Arthur said derisively.

The servant in question was in the middle of the floor, elbows on the ground, backside raised in the air as ordered by the prince. 

“I said, keep it in.” Arthur went over to him, roughly shoving the wooden, phallic object he’d ordered Robin to put inside of himself tonight further in.

Robin groaned in discomfort. “I’m sorry, my lord.” He said quietly, “It keeps trying to slip out.”

“Hmph.” Arthur whipped the back of his thighs with a belt. “Does it hurt?”

“It’s a little…. big, sire.” Robin winced. “I would have liked a bit more oil or something-”

Arthur laid a few more strikes onto his legs. “We both know you like it like this.” He said scornfully. He grabbed the end of the object and wiggled it around roughly, making Robin gasp. “You’re going to be sore all day tomorrow because of it.”

Arthur laid a few more hits to the backs of Robin’s legs, then his upper back. Robin’s arms were shaking from the effort of holding himself up for so long. Arthur lowered himself down to look at his face. 

Robin’s nose had been bleeding before, but it had now stopped. Arthur hadn’t intended to hit it; he was going to backhand Robin across the cheek and he missed and made contact with his nose instead.

His lips were split in a few different places. That hadn’t been an accident.

Arthur grabbed him by the hair. “You look awful.” He said simply, a smug smile on his face. He admired his handiwork of cuts and bruises on the servant’s face. Robin looked like he was barely there. Arthur wondered if he had struck him too hard earlier. Not that it mattered.

Robin didn’t respond to the insult. Arthur let go of his hair and his head drooped again.

“You have so many pretty bruises,” Arthur mused, “Do you like them?”

“Yes, sire.” Robin murmured, perhaps out of habit, perhaps not.

“I feel like I neglect your front…” Arthur said thoughtfully. “Would you like some bruises across your chest?”

“If it pleases you, my lord.” Robin was clearly out of it by now, forehead resting on the cold stone.

“Perhaps tomorrow I’ll start there.” Arthur undid his breeches, pulling out his painfully hard cock. He started pumping it with one hand, pulling up Robin by his hair to look at him.

Robin’s eyes were half-shut, like he was barely comprehending what was in front of him. It was an arousing sight for Arthur, to be sure. Arthur glanced down. He wasn’t surprised to see that Robin was aroused as well, despite the fact that he seemed very out of it.

“You are such a whore,” the prince said scornfully. “Look at you. How can I beat you night after night and you keep getting off to it?”

Arthur conveniently overlooked the fact that he was incredibly turned on by thoroughly beating this servant night after night. He ignored the fact it was the only way he could become aroused; by imagining and fantasizing about Robin and his bruises that the prince had caused, his bleeding lips and the way he thanked and praised the prince for doing it to him. 

It was both thrilling and strange to Arthur that Robin came back night after night for Arthur to make more bruises, to cause him more pain. Robin winced, he would cry out in pain and agony as Arthur whipped him and sometimes pressed his sensitives bruises and cuts all over his body. And yet he was turned on, hard and wanting, thanking the prince for what he was doing. It’s like nothing was ever too much for him. 

Arthur took it all in, the patchwork of black and blue on the servant’s body, the crude wooden object sticking out of him, the half-lidded eyes of the boy looking at him, the blood dripping from his cut lips….

He climaxed, his seed coating Robin’s face. The servant bit his bottom lip like he enjoyed the sensation, clearly forgetting the damage there, and then winced in pain. 

Once his climax was done, Arthur laced his breeches up again. “Get up. Get in my bed.” He ordered.

With great effort, Robin obeyed. He curled up in the prince’s bed.

Arthur laid next to him. He admired his handiwork as he gazed all over the servant’s damaged body. Broken blood vessels were cropping up everywhere, his nose was starting to bleed again. There was a dark welt on his left cheekbone. His lips hadn’t stopped bleeding since Arthur had first hit him. The prince’s seed was drying on his face.

Arthur thought he looked lovely. He pressed a small kiss to the top of the servant’s head. They lay there in silence for a moment.

“My lord,” Robin said hesitantly.

“Mm?”

“I was wondering… Could we take a break from this tomorrow?”

“Somewhere else you have to be?”

“No, it’s just…” Robin paused. “I’m very sore… I can barely do my regular chores for my master.”

“I thought I was your master.” Arthur pressed another kiss into his hair.

“I meant Lord Dietrich.” Robin said. “I would just like a day or two to recover. Lord Dietrich thinks I’ve been getting into fights with the way I’ve been looking lately. He’s not happy with that and I can’t afford to lose my job…” He trailed off.

Arthur tilted his head up to look at him. “Lord Dietrich is a fool.” He stated simply. “Even more so if he can’t understand how lovely you look just like this.”

Robin couldn’t look at him. “Sire, please. Just a couple of days off. The pain… it’s getting to be unbearable to work during the day.”

“I know you like the way it hurts.”

“I know, sire, but my job is already strenuous and doing this night after night-”

“We can try different things. I said before we could focus on making some marks on your chest. I’ve been neglecting it.”

Robin looked like he was fighting back tears. “Can I have a day? Just one day-”

“We’ll do some knife-play. Remember when I promised you that? I’ll give you some beautiful scars to look at.”

Robin pressed his face against Arthur’s chest. He trembled for a minute or two, not speaking. Arthur didn’t know why. He didn’t really care. The sensation was thrilling.

“I would like that, my lord.” Robin said at last. His voice was tight.

“You’ll be back tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

“May I- Take it out of me, sire?”

“What? Oh.” Arthur had forgotten about the crude object he’d ordered Robin to wear tonight. “Sure.”

Robin reached behind himself and pulled out the object, letting it fall to the floor. He sighed in relief when it was out. He pressed himself against Arthur’s chest again. “May I sleep here tonight?” He requested shyly. “When I try to walk-”

“You can’t.” Arthur cut him off. “I won’t risk someone finding you here.”

“I understand sire.” Robin said reluctantly.

Arthur peered into his face again. Robin’s eyes had trouble focusing, it would seem. He looked exhausted. Maybe Arthur  _ did  _ smack him around a bit too hard tonight. A good night’s sleep would help. Robin was a resilient toy.


	10. Chapter 10

“Have you thought about teaching Artemis how to read and write?” Gaius asked out of the blue.

Gaius, Merlin, and Artemis were all sitting at the breakfast table, finishing up their meals.

Merlin looked over at Artemis. “Yes. I mean, he knows some words, he’s just not fully literate. But as much as I’d love to teach him, I just don’t have the time.”

“Geoffrey, the head librarian, sometimes teaches literacy when he has the time. Mostly to individuals trying to get better apprenticeships, but I feel like he would be willing to take on Artemis.” Gaius offered.

Merlin looked over at Artemis, who definitely seemed interested in the idea. Sometimes Merlin thought of how hard it must be for him, having thoughts and ideas just kind of trapped in his head, with no way of getting them out.

“Would you like to meet with Geoffrey, Artemis?” Merlin asked him. Artemis nodded.

Gaius, having finished eating, got up from the table. “I’ll meet with Geoffrey later this afternoon and see if he’s able to take on a student currently. First things first, though, I have a few housecalls to make and I’d like you to go with me on them, Merlin.”

“Of course. I just have to make sure Arthur is all set first, and be back a little after noon.” Merlin said.

Arthur had a meeting with his knights in the early morning, and so he had asked Merlin to deliver his lunch one hour later than usual to his chambers, as he expected the meeting to run long.

Merlin still wasn’t acting friendly toward the prince, for obvious reasons, and if he could quit his job he would have. Unfortunately, a certain pesky dragon made it clear that he was to stay in Arthur’s services. Destiny and all that rubbish. Merlin was beginning to hate it more and more every day.

******************************************************************************

Arthur was on his way to the knight’s meeting when he saw Artemis coming up one of the staircases. The boy froze when he saw him.

It was a tense stand-off for several seconds, and then Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. Artemis looked shocked, then almost offended. Arthur grinned easily at him. 

Truthfully, he’d barely thought of the stableboy since meeting Robin. And Robin was a thousand times better than Artemis could ever hope to be. That boy could scream and writhe and tremble and then ask for a little more. It was Arthur’s most depraved fantasy come true. Artemis could never dream to hold a candle to that.

“Artemis. You’re looking well.” Arthur said in a friendly manner, like Artemis was a good friend he hadn’t seen in a while.

Artemis tensed up, then looked like he remembered something, turned around, and practically ran back down the stairs, away from the prince. 

Arthur laughed again and continued on his way. Artemis was nothing if not amusing.

******************************************************************************

Merlin finished his housecalls with Gaius and was currently in the kitchen trying to get Arthur’s food on a plate to bring to him. Another servant was down there with him, someone Merlin had seen around but not really spoken to.

The other servant had his back to Merlin, hastily putting food on a plate. Merlin noted to himself that it was quite a lot of food.

Merlin was trying to pick out a decent fruit to add to the mix, since Arthur insisted on having a piece of fruit with every one of his meals now, when the other servant turned around.

Merlin jumped and dropped the apple he’d picked up. This servant’s face was covered in broken blood vessels, one cheek was swollen and nearly black. His nose had some dried blood around it. The servant looked at him, and Merlin couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or embarrassed. Maybe it was both. 

“Are you okay?” Merlin asked concernedly. “Did something happen to you? Did your master do this to you?”

The servant waved him away. “I’m fine.” He said gruffly.

“I’m the physician’s assistant. I can take a look at you real quick.”

“Lord Dietrich doesn’t like his meals to be late.” The servant said, picking up the tray and carrying it with great difficulty past Merlin. 

“If someone attacked you-”

“I don’t need help,” the servant snapped. “Everything is fine.” He started to leave the kitchen. 

“My name is Merlin,” Merlin called out. “If you change your mind, I live with Gaius in the physicians chambers. I’ll be glad to help you if you need it.”

The servant hesitated for about two second before leaving, giving no reply.

Merlin sighed. He remembered Gaius saying he had a complex about needing to help everybody. He supposed it was true at this point. But that servant was clearly in need of some help. Merlin hoped he would take him up on his offer.

******************************************************************************

Merlin got ready for bed that night. Artemis was waiting for him patiently, looking extremely happy.

“So you start your lessons with Geoffrey tomorrow?” Merlin smiled at him. “Can’t wait for you to learn how to read and write better. I want to know everything you’re thinking. I bet you probably see a lot of exciting stuff at your job that you could tell me about. And the gossip you probably overhear.”

Artemis grinned at him. He burrowed himself further under the covers. Merlin changed into his nightshirt and climbed into bed with him after locking the door.

Despite the fact that Gaius knew they were a couple, Merlin  _ really  _ didn’t want to risk him or anyone else coming in on them at night.

Artemis snuggled against him after Merlin blew out the candle. He put one arm around his lover, closing his eyes.

He probably wasn’t in bed for longer than 10 minutes when he heard the door to the physician’s chambers creak open. He sat up in bed, disturbing Artemis.

“Yes, what do you- Oh. Come here. Sit down.” Merlin heard Gaius say.

Curious, Merlin unbolted and opened his door, motioning for Artemis to stay there in bed.

To his surprise, there was the servant from earlier, being looked over by Gaius. The physician spotted Merlin and ordered him to fetch the salve of horse chestnut. 

Merlin instantly did as he asked, and Gaius wasted no time in applying the salve over pretty much the servant’s entire face.

“What’s your name, boy?” Gaius asked. “Who did this to you?”

“I’m Robin. Lord Dietrich’s personal servant.” The boy replied.

“And he did this to you?”

“No. He didn’t.”

“Were you attacked?” Merlin asked.

“Merlin, please leave the questions to me.” Gaius said bluntly. “Are you hurt anywhere else, Robin?”

Robin looked down. “All over.”

“What?”

“Just… all over.” He stood up with some difficulty and took off his shirt. Merlin accidentally gasped when he saw the horrific black and blue bruises on his skin, pretty much everywhere on his back. Even Gaius looked mortified. 

“It’s on my legs too.” Robin muttered.

“Who did this to you?” Gaius demanded. 

“I just need to heal up. I don’t want to answer questions.” Robin snapped. “Can’t you just put some salve on me? I’ll be on my way shortly.”

“This can’t just be treated with salve in one night, boy.” Gaius matched his tone. “You need to rest. Do you realize how bad these welts are? You need to be lying face-down for the next several days, with constant ointment and treatment until they heal up enough for you to return to work.”

“I just need a day, that’s all.” Robin insisted. “I just need to be off my feet for one day and I just wanted to ask you for a jar of salve. I don’t need a week’s worth of bedrest.”

“Obviously I can’t force you to accept the recommended treatment for your wounds, but as the court physician I highly recommend and insist that you heal up under my care for the next week.” Gaius said. 

“I just need a quick treatment, that’s all.” Robin insisted. “I just need some salve, and one day. I know my own needs.”

Gaius looked like he could smack the boy but he just sighed and ordered Merlin to grab a jar of the healing salve.

“Probably needs two, if he’s got it as bad on his legs,” Merlin suggested. Gaius nodded his agreement.

Merlin grabbed the jars and set to work gently applying it to his back. He was trying to hide his horror at the severity of the welts.

Robin flinched and hissed at the feeling of the ointment going on his skin. Merlin felt bad every time he passed over a particularly bad bruise. He wanted to use magic to take it all away, but of course he couldn’t.

“I can do my legs myself.” Robin said. “Back in my own room.”

“We still need gauze placed on your back,” said Merlin, standing up to get some. Robin didn’t argue for once.

It took several minutes to get the gauze over his back. Merlin handed him the half-empty jar of ointment and the full one. “If you need help applying more tomorrow,” he said, “don’t hesitate to stop by.”

Robin didn’t reply, taking the jars, putting his shirt back on with great care, and barely glanced back at them on his way out. 

“Strange fellow.” Gaius muttered, cleaning up his leftover supplies.

“Do you think his master has been doing that to him?” Merlin asked.

“I believe the boy when he said it wasn’t him. Lord Dietrich would never,” Gaius said dismissively. “He’s the most mild-mannered person I know of. It may be a knight, or another servant, even.”

“Why was he being so guarded? Why protect the person?” Merlin wondered aloud. 

“It could be a number of reasons. Maybe he was threatened. Or blackmailed.”

Merlin thought back to the man who had abused him years ago. He’d allowed it to happen for the sake of his mother. He never told her or anyone else in his village about it. Maybe Robin was being abused by someone to protect another.

Without saying much else to one another, Gaius and Merlin went back to bed. Merlin bolted his door behind him habitually, seeing Artemis sitting up in bed waiting for him. 

Merlin crawled back into bed, giving him a brief rundown on the curious case of Robin.

“Have you met him, Artemis?” Merlin asked on a whim. “My height, black hair, scar on his nose?”

Artemis shook his head.

“Hm.” Merlin let Artemis rest his head against his shoulder. “Hope I figure it all out soon. Going to drive me insane if I don’t.” He muttered.

Artemis flashed him a quick look of concern before closing his eyes.

“I was thinking earlier ... about the man I protected years ago.” Merlin said suddenly. “Even though he was hurting me.”

Artemis knew his story well. Merlin usually tried not to talk about his past abuse much, he barely even thought about it, but sometimes he’d start dwelling on it and he needed to get it out of his head.

“I keep thinking… what if someone is hurting Robin, and he has to take it like I did? What if there was something I could do to stop it? I think… maybe if someone had found out what was happening to me a few years ago…” He trailed off. Artemis cuddled him a bit tighter.

“Gaius says I have a complex about helping people. But if someone I know needs help, I don’t see why I should turn a blind eye to it. And this other servant clearly needs someone to help him.” Merlin said decisively. “I don’t want to pester him about it. But maybe I could befriend him… have him eventually open up to me about what’s going on.”

It sounded like a weak plan even as he said it, but it was at least an idea. Robin didn’t seem like a very friendly or open person. Then again, everyone told him that it was an impossible task to befriend Artemis and that he shouldn’t even try, and here he was, lying right next to him. Obviously, more than friends now, but the point remained. Merlin trusted in his own abilities to make friends with pretty much anybody.

Merlin looked down at Artemis, not even sure if he was still awake. “Night, love.” He whispered to him.

  
  


******************************************************************************

Robin applied the weird-smelling ointment all over his legs and backside with great effort and pain. He laid face-down carefully on his cot.

He didn’t meet with Arthur tonight. He knew he physically couldn’t take it. And the prince made it clear that he didn’t care about the pain Robin was in. So he just didn’t go. There would be consequences for a fact, but as nighttime had drawn nearer and nearer, he was almost in tears with dread at having to see Arthur again.

Arthur was right about Robin enjoying the pain. But night after night after night? Robin was at his absolute limit. He just needed to heal up for a day or two. And the prince couldn’t seem to understand that.

Robin hated himself for willingly going to the prince nightly for 3 weeks straight to let him abuse and degrade him. A large part of him he would never understand loved it. But there was always that nagging hatred for himself for loving it at the back of his mind.

He knew it wasn’t normal to enjoy being hurt by someone. He knew it wasn’t ok to feel arousal at being degraded and smacked around. But he craved it so much. He always had. And the prince himself had come seemingly out of nowhere and was giving it to him freely. He would never have dreamed in a million years that would have happened. He was grateful and thrilled. And angry that he was grateful and thrilled.

And he was angry at himself for looking forward to seeing the prince tomorrow evening, even as he lay in the worst agony he’d felt his entire life.


	11. Chapter 11

Robin woke up the next day and immediately wanted to scream. He had fully expected to be in a little  _ less  _ pain, but this was excruciating. Nearly every inch of his back ached and hurt. He couldn’t shift his legs without hissing in pain.

Worse still, he was pretty certain he had overslept… He would be fired for sure…

All he could do was just lay there, feeling broken and miserable.

******************************************************************************

Merlin got into a huge fight with Arthur at breakfast. It appeared the prince had woken up in a pissy mood and was taking it out on him.

Arthur was complaining about every single little thing. He hated his breakfast. He claimed his freshly washed clothes still smelled terrible so Merlin ‘clearly hadn’t properly washed them’. He was angry that his boots were scuffed a little so he threw them at Merlin (who was very good at dodging projectiles from the prince by now) and demanded he repolish them.

The whole thing pissed Merlin off too until they were literally shouting at each other. He told Arthur that he was a terribly spoiled brat who never appreciated anything Merlin ever did for him, and Arthur yelled back that Merlin barely ever did anything, and he always did it poorly, and he wondered why he still even had him in his service.

The fight ended with Arthur ordering him away and Merlin slamming the prince’s door shut behind him.

In the middle of fuming while thinking about his fight with Arthur, he remembered Robin. He wondered where he was, if he was going to stop by the physician’s chamber’s again for further treatment. Merlin hadn’t seen him all morning, even though he had asked about him. No one he spoke to had seen him all day. He hoped the servant was doing okay. 

******************************************************************************

_ It must be past noon by now _ , Robin figured. His stomach was growling. But he still could barely move. He wanted to get up and get something to eat. He wanted to find Lord Dietrich and beg to keep his job.

Most of all, he was lonely. No one had come by once to see if he was alright.

******************************************************************************

Merlin served Arthur his lunch. They were both still mad at each other so no real words were exchanged for a while until Arthur gestured to his bed. “Clean my sheets, please. They’re filthy.”

“I just washed them 4 days ago.” Merlin protested.

Arthur gave him a look. “Do you just not realize that you’re talking to a prince when you address me? Do you think of me on the same level as you or something? I told you to do something. Now do it. You’re a servant, for god’s sakes. Act like one.”

Merlin rolled his eyes, going to gather up the sheets. He was puzzled at the dark spots all over them, like Arthur had eaten a greasy meal in bed with his fingers and them wiped them off on his sheets.

He tried  _ really  _ hard not to notice the dried, crusty stains that had started appearing in the past few weeks. He knew what they probably were. He didn’t want to dwell on it. Just gather the sheets and pretend they aren’t there. That was his approach.

He got everything bundled up and went out the door to clean them.

******************************************************************************

Merlin passed some laundry maids as he prepared to clean the prince’s sheets.

“I’m too busy to look for him, or else I would.” Merlin heard one of them say.

“Lord Dietrich is  _ not  _ happy.” The other maid said darkly. “He’s been mad at his performance lately. This might be it for Robin.”

“Robin?” Merlin turned to look at them. “What’s going on with him?”

“Well, no one knows.” One of the maids said. “He’s been looking awful lately, and getting worse on the daily. But he won’t answer anyone’s questions and Lord Dietrich was ready to fire him days ago because he’s barely doing his job. Now, today, he just didn’t show.”

“No one has seen him all day?” Merlin asked. “Why hasn’t anyone gone looking for him?”

The maids looked at each other and shrugged. “We all have jobs to do.” One said. “No time.”

“Is it possible he’s still in the servant’s quarters? Like in his room?”

“Sure, I guess.”

“And where is his room?”

******************************************************************************

Merlin rarely ever stepped foot in the part of the castle where most of the servants slept. He was glad for it. It was always dim, and dusty, with several drafts that made him shiver as he followed the maid’s directions for where to find Robin’s room.

He peeked into one of the rooms. “Robin?” He said tentatively, looking around. There were 3 empty cots. No Robin.

He went into 2 more rooms before he saw Robin, lying face down on a cot. “Um. Hello?” Merlin said.

Robin lifted his head and turned to look at him, surprised. “Oh. It’s you.”

“Are you feeling ok?” Robin was still covered in gauze on his back. His lower half was covered by a blanket.

“..... No.” Robin admitted reluctantly. “I’m starving. And I hurt everywhere.” He buried his face into the cot after his admission.

“I’ll get you some food.” Merlin said. “And more gauze. And maybe another jar of salve.”

Robin didn’t say a word, so Merlin just went, promising to be back soon.

******************************************************************************

Robin laid there without a single word of protest as Merlin reapplied the salve and gauze to his back. He didn’t even say a thing when Merlin carefully pulled away the blanket and put the salve on the rest of his bruises. Merlin was disturbed by the amount, severity and locations of the rest of the welts, but he tried not to show any signs of it.

“I’ve probably lost my job.” Robin finally spoke up. “My master will not accept this.”

“It’s not your fault.” Merlin said. “Who would be able to work in this condition?”

“It  _ is _ my fault.” Robin said glumly.

Merlin set the jar on the floor. “Why do you say that?”

Robin snorted. “I’m not telling you why.”

“Oh.” Merlin said. He was becoming more convinced by the second that Robin was being blackmailed in some way into allowing himself to be hurt like this.

Robin picked at the food on the plate that was placed on the ground in front of his face, right within grabbing reach. Since he couldn’t sit up, this was the only way he could get some food in him.

“Maybe if you said someone had attacked you…?” Merlin offered. “Your master would keep you in his services.”

“That won’t work.” Robin said dismissively. “It’s been going on for weeks now. He’s been angry at me all this week for slacking. He’s noticed the bruises for a while now. He thinks I’ve been fighting with others.”

“For weeks?” Merlin said. “Someone has been doing this to you for weeks?”

Robin went silent again. Merlin bit back a sigh. “Gaius was right, you know. When he told you yesterday that these will take at least a week of bedrest with constant care for you to be able to work again. You could stay in the physician’s quarters while you heal. Better than being down here.”

Robin looked to be considering it.

“And I can talk to Lord Dietrich. I can tell him that you sought the physician’s care last night and can’t work for a while. Maybe he’ll be understanding.”

“Maybe…” Robin said slowly. “But…” He stopped himself from whatever he was about to say. “Sure. I could try that.” He said instead.

Merlin fought back a triumphant grin. “Let’s see if we can’t get you dressed and settled in to the physician’s chambers. Then I’ll go find Lord Dietrich.”

******************************************************************************

It hadn’t been easy getting Robin off of the cot. They ended up having him put one leg on either side of his cot, and very slowly push himself up into a sitting position as he straddled his bed. Merlin felt awful for Robin. His face was twisted into a grimace as he rested for a moment before sliding his left leg back over until he was sitting on the edge of the cot. Then Merlin helped him stand. Getting his clothes on was another ordeal, but they managed it.

The walk back to the physician’s chambers was a tedious and slow. Robin had to stop several times.

“Why does it hurt so much?” He asked at one point, gritting his teeth as he rested against a wall.

Merlin assumed it was a rhetorical question, so he didn’t reply. Robin put one arm back around his shoulder and Merlin continued to lead him along.

Merlin wasn’t expecting to see Gaius when they got to their destination, but there he was, putting small tincture bottles in his medicine bag. He didn’t seem surprised to see Robin.

“I’ll get the spare cot ready,” was all he said before going to drag it out of storage.

They got Robin to lie down on the cot again. Then Merlin got him a blanket at his request.

Merlin told Gaius about the deal he made with Robin: that he would speak to Lord Dietrich about Robin keeping his job.

“I’ll speak to him.” Gaius said. “I’ve known him for quite a few years. I’m sure he will be reasonable. Merlin, can we speak privately in your room?”

Merlin and Gaius went to Merlin’s room and Gaius shut the door. “We need to talk about Artemis.” Gaius said in a low voice. 

“Why? What’s he done?”

“Nothing, but now we have Robin here, lying in recovery for the next week or so, and he’s bound to get suspicious when he sees you and Artemis sharing a room.”

Merlin mentally kicked himself for not thinking about that. “Can’t we just tell him that Artemis is mute and has been a target in the past for certain people?” He asked. “And it’s not like it’s not understandable that more than one person would be sleeping in a room together. The spare pallet is still in my floor next to the bed.”

“IF you can keep from showing any amount of affection for each other, and IF you can… abstain from certain noisy activities at night, he might not suspect anything.”

Merlin’s face went red, but he nodded his agreement. “I’ll tell Artemis that we need to behave neutral to each other. And… you know, the other stuff. I  _ know  _ this can work. We won’t be caught. And also, if he does try to tell others… Servant gossip tends not to get to the royal’s ears too often. And even then, we could deny it all.”

Gaius didn’t look convinced at that last part. “I’ve seen servants kicked out, or worse, multiple times because the servant’s gossip ‘reached the royal’s ears’, Merlin. Just be as careful as possible. One slip up, and it could be your head.”

Merlin understood, and they went back out to see Robin. “I will be back after I deliver these tinctures and talk to Lord Dietrich,” Gaius said. “I’ll mix up another tincture for your pain, Robin. And tonight I’ll give you a sleeping draught.”

Robin showed that he heard and then turned his face away from them.

Merlin suppressed a sigh. Robin was an interesting person. It was going to take a lot to chip away at his defenses and learn what was happening to him. Merlin was up for the challenge.

******************************************************************************

Finding out from Gaius that Lord Dietrich was going to let him keep his job almost made Robin cry from joy. The physician brought him the good news as he grabbed the tincture for his pain.

Robin drank the awful tasting tincture, gagging at the taste. The pain decreased significantly after about an hour after he drank it.

Robin turned his head to face the wall and tried to fall asleep, even though it was the middle of the afternoon.

The sound of the door opening made him look. Some person he’d never seen before entered the room. Whoever it was looked surprised to see him there, but they walked past without a word and went into the spare room. Robin wrinkled his nose as he passed by. The person smelled strongly of the stables.

The person emerged a few minutes later in different clothes, still not smelling great, and grabbed a piece of bread from the table before heading back out. Robin wondered why this person hadn’t said a word to him.

******************************************************************************

Merlin helped Arthur strap on his armor for knight training. The tension in the air was thick.

Merlin was struggling with the arm plates when Arthur made a snippy comment about Merlin being as useless as a horse with a lame leg and Merlin very nearly threw the arm plate to the ground. Instead he took a deep breath, and tried again. 

Once Arthur’s armor was on, Merlin said, “By the way, there’s no need for the attitude today. I don’t know why you’re being so insufferable.”

Arthur didn’t acknowledge that. “I need my mace, my sword, and a dagger for training today. Also, 3 throwing axes.”

“You want me to carry all of those at once?” Merlin snapped. “How many arms do you think I have?”

“Oh shut up. I was planning on carrying the sword.” Arthur retorted.

“How generous of you.” Merlin said sarcastically, handing the sword to Arthur. The prince slid it into his scabbard.

“Now that I have a sword on me, maybe you’ll watch the tone.” Arthur said.

“Are you threatening to run me through?”

“Keep talking and you’ll see.” Arthur headed outside. “Don’t forget, I need  _ three _ throwing axes. Three. You can count on your fingers if it helps.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. He gathered up the weapons and went outside, laying them all out in a row. He then sat to watch the training, already bored.

After about a half hour, Merlin saw Artemis walking past the training ground. Artemis saw him and waved. Merlin smiled and waved back. Artemis then looked at the prince, who wasn’t looking at either of them, frowned, and kept walking.

Merlin’s heart sunk. He would have loved to have called Artemis over and have him sit for a minute with him if circumstances were different.

The whole thing still confused him. Obviously, Arthur had a temper. Obviously, he could be overly cruel and insulting. He often threw things at Merlin, like he did with the boots this morning. But Merlin still struggled with comprehending if Arthur was capable of abusing and even (Merlin had trouble even thinking the word)  _ raping _ another person. 

Hell, Arthur and Merlin fought all the time like siblings. They shouted insults at each other, Arthur would throw something at him, Merlin would make sarcastic comments about how he couldn’t wait until Arthur was king and Arthur would eventually make him leave, yelling after him about how he should fire him. And then life went on normally, and Merlin would do the chores Arthur needed done, he would get him his dinner, and then Arthur would go to bed at some point.

But Arthur had never actually struck him. He never laid a hand on Merin, no matter how heated their fights got. So how and why would Arthur decide to take another person out of the blue and just…. do what Artemis said he did?

Merlin remembered the damages to Artemis’ body. It was etched in his memories forever. It was disturbing to imagine Arthur taking Artemis and hurting him like that.

None of it made any sense to Merlin. He couldn’t imagine Artemis lying, and he couldn’t imagine Arthur doing what Artemis accused him of. Maybe eventually the truth would come out, whatever it was.

“Merlin, if you’re done daydreaming, I need my mace.” Arthur called to him. Merlin rolled his eyes and went to obey the prince.

******************************************************************************

As night approached, Merlin went to find Artemis in the castle, taking him off to the side and quickly explaining the whole Robin situation. 

“We need to be hands-off of each other, and even when we’re alone in my room, we need to avoid making any noises.”

Artemis gave him a look.

“Okay,  _ I’ll _ need to avoid making any noises.” Merlin said. Artemis smirked. “We might have to abstain entirely, honestly.” Merlin added reluctantly. Artemis didn’t look happy about it either but he nodded.

Merlin checked again to make sure nobody was coming down the hall. “Do you want to take a bath in the lake tomorrow afternoon? I don’t have anything planned if you don’t.”

Artemis smiled and nodded. Merlin wanted to kiss him, he looked so cute. He may smell strongly of horse and manure right now (which was part of the reason Merlin offered to take a bath with him), but Merlin didn’t mind that too much.

******************************************************************************

When they got to the physician’s chambers, Robin was still awake. Gaius was mixing him the sleeping draught. 

Merlin introduced Artemis to Robin. “He’s mute.” Merlin said awkwardly, “and um, he’s staying with Gaius and I for the next foreseeable future. He, um….” Merlin wasn’t sure how much to tell him. He didn’t want to make Artemis feel uncomfortable. “He’s my friend. And when he was on his own, people tended to mistreat him. So he’s staying with us now.”

“....... Okay…..” Robin looked like he had no idea why Merlin was telling him this.

“So. Yeah.” Merlin felt weird now. “That’s why he’s here.”

“Okay.” Robin said again.

Merlin looked at Artemis, who shrugged.

“Not to single anybody out, but whoever smells like the stables needs to wash their face and hands before eating their dinner tonight.” Gaius said sharply, delivering Robin the draught.

Artemis’ face turned red and he went to grab a rag do what Gaius said.

Merlin almost said something to Gaius about the way he said what he did, but ended up saying nothing. Gaius was kind enough to have Artemis stay here. And Artemis  _ did  _ smell a little… strong.

******************************************************************************

Merlin cuddled up with Artemis that night. He gave him a quick kiss and then wrapped his arms around him. The door was locked, and he could hear Gaius snoring. He felt bad for Robin. Hopefully the sleeping draught was strong enough so he could sleep through it.

Artemis pressed his face into Merlin’s chest.

“You had your lesson with Geoffrey today, didn’t you?” Merlin remembered. Amidst the fighting with Arthur and helping Robin, he’d completely forgotten. 

Artemis looked up at him with a bright smile.

“Was Geoffrey nice? Did he teach you anything new? Did he give you any literacy exercises to do?”

Artemis looked amused. Merlin laughed a little at himself. “Sorry. First things first. Was he nice?”

Artemis nodded.

“Learn anything new?”

Artemis shrugged.

“Do you receive any instructions on literacy exercises to do at home?”

Artemis shook his head.

“Well, it was only the first day. Do you meet with him tomorrow?” Again, Artemis shook his head. “Day after?” Artemis nodded. “Great!” Merlin said. “I can’t wait until you can fully read and write. I want to read all the notes you could write to me, all the things you have to say.” He kissed Artemis again. “It’s going to be amazing.”

Artemis hugged him tightly and snuggled with him again. Merlin couldn’t stop smiling. He was so excited at the idea of Artemis fully communicating his thoughts and ideas with him on paper.


	12. Chapter 12

Robin woke up to bright sunlight pouring into the room. He was on his left side, which wasn’t as awful as he thought it would be.

That sleeping draught had been no joke. He’d slept the entire night through, no dreams, feeling better than he had in a long time. The pain tincture had worn off, however, and disgusting as it had tasted, he really needed another dose. He could literally feel every bruise throbbing.

He was facing the doorway, and gradually became aware of Merlin looking through the bottles on the shelves for something. 

He cleared his throat, and Merlin looked at him. “Oh, good morning,” he said. “Gaius told me to give you the tincture for your pain when you woke up. I’m trying to find it. It’ll be just a moment.”

“Where is Gaius?” Robin asked.

“He’s assisting with a birth in the lower town.”

“Why aren’t you with him then? You’re his assistant.”

“Because I have to take care of Arthur. He needs to be woken up, given his breakfast, and I need to retrieve some of his repaired armor for him today, too. Also… Gaius got really annoyed with me last time I tried to ‘assist’ him with childbirth. I got pretty lightheaded and kept dropping things. He had to send me away.”

“Did you say… Arthur?” Robin asked, ignoring the last part of Merlin’s story.

Merlin looked a little sheepish. “Oh yeah, sorry. I’m Prince Arthur’s personal servant. I forgot to mention that when we met.”

Robin knew Arthur had to have a personal servant, but he had never learned who it was.

He looked Merlin up and down, trying to take everything in.  _ This  _ was the personal servant to the  _ prince _ ? This man trying to track down a single bottle of pain tincture, nearly knocking over every other bottle in the process? This gangly bundle of arms and legs? This man was entrusted to take care of all the prince’s needs?

“I forget sometimes to use a title,” Merlin continued. He finally found the bottle. “I usually just call him Arthur.”

“And he’s ok with that?”

Merlin shrugged. “Sometimes when he’s pissed at me, he’ll tell me not to be so familiar. But I still call him Arthur.” He handed Robin the tincture. “Ready for me to reapply the salve and gauze?”

Robin downed the liquid before nodding.

He was silent as Merlin took off the gauze and smeared the salve on. He wondered if Arthur had ever tried to do anything with Merlin. Then he wondered if Arthur was actually intimate with Merlin. Was that why Arthur refused to be more intimate with him? Was Merlin fulfilling those needs for him already?

He felt a surge of jealousy that he tried not to let show. Merlin, for all of his awkwardness, was actually pretty good-looking, if one ignored the scarf and blinding paleness. Arthur  _ was  _ probably doing things with him, Robin thought bitterly.

But Arthur had often said that he felt nothing towards other men, and often used Robin’s own attraction to shame him… then again… Robin wasn’t aware of any completely heterosexual men that kissed other men and used them for sexual gratification so… Maybe he was lying… It wasn’t like the king’s son was about to admit that he kind of liked other men. King Uther would not be pleased to find out about that.

“All done.” Merlin said cheerfully. Robin realized he must have been deep in thought for quite a while for Merlin to have rubbed in the salve and put more gauze on without him noticing.

“The marks on your legs are looking a lot better. Your back, not so much…” Merlin let him know. “We left you some breakfast.” Merlin set the bowl of food beside his cot for him to grab. “Whenever you are hungry. I have to go see Arthur now or I’ll be late.”

Robin didn’t say anything as Merlin went out the door. 

******************************************************************************

Merlin took a deep breath for courage before waking up the prince. “Up and at ‘em, Arthur!” He said cheerfully. He expected Arthur was still going to be grouchy and insufferable like yesterday.

Instead, the prince awoke easily, put on a shirt, and accepted the breakfast Merlin had brought for him without complaining. Merlin was relieved, and then apprehensive. Arthur was not usually so… easy to deal with. 

Still, the most Arthur said to him was a request to refill his water while he ate. Merlin mentally noted the floors were dirty and he asked if Arthur wanted them cleaned today. Arthur shrugged. “If you find the time.” He said simply. He pushed away from the table, his plate now empty.

“Let me help you get dressed.” Merlin said. He grabbed an outfit for Arthur, and the prince let him dress him. 

Arthur was being uncharacteristically easy to deal with and quiet. It was bothering Merlin so much he finally asked about it. 

“What wrong, Arthur?” He asked, bundling up his old clothes and tossing them in the basket.

He didn’t expect a real response but he got one. “I’m just a bit upset is all.” Arthur admitted.

“Oh.” Was Arthur actually willingly being genuine with him? “About what?”

“It’s nothing, really.” Arthur made a careless gesture with his hand. “Just…. it’s nothing.”

“Something your father said?” That was a common cause for Arthur’s bad moods.

“No. Not that.” Arthur slid his dagger into its sheath around his waist. “Don’t concern yourself with it.”

Merlin looked hard at him. Arthur actually looked pretty down, kind of melancholy… It made Merlin feel bad. “Is this thing that has you upset today the same thing that made you so angry yesterday?” He asked.

Arthur was looking increasingly annoyed, which actually made Merlin glad. It was more like his normal self. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” He grumbled. “I need you to get my horse ready. I’d like to go for a quick ride before my meeting with Father today.”

“I assume you’ll want me with you.”

“Not today, Merlin.” Arthur said. “I’d rather be alone.”

Merlin didn’t know how to reply to that. Arthur always demanded Merlin be with him on rides and patrols. “Are you sure you don’t want someone with you? I’m a good listener.” Merlin offered. “If you wanted to vent about something-”

“Merlin!” Arthur snapped before composing himself. “I don’t need company. I don’t need to vent. I just really need to be alone right now.”

“Alright.” Merlin backed down. “Sorry.”

There was an awkward silence before Merlin said, “Do you need me this afternoon for anything?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Great. I had a bath planned.”

“I  _ really  _ didn’t need or want to know about that, Merlin.” Arthur said.

Merlin held back a laugh. “Sorry.” He said. “I’ll have someone get your horse ready. I hope your ride makes you feel better.”

“Doubt it.” Arthur said under his breath. Merlin decided to pretend he didn’t hear that. He instead gave a quick bow before leaving to do what Arthur wanted.

  
  


******************************************************************************

Merlin watched Artemis get the horse ready for Arthur in the stables. The horse had been brushed down, and the saddle was being secured. Merlin was impressed at how fast Artemis was at his job. 

He wanted to mention Arthur’s sad mood today, but he thought better of it. Artemis probably didn’t want to hear anything about the prince… 

“I normally would be getting my own horse ready too,” Merlin said. Artemis spared him a glance but continued to work on the saddle. “But Arthur wants to ride alone today. Not sure why.”

Artemis didn’t react to what he said, finishing up the saddle and getting the bridle ready.

Merlin changed the subject. “You’ve been treated alright by people recently?” He asked.

Artemis shrugged.

“No one has hurt you, right?” Artemis shook his head. That was always good to hear.

Artemis got the bridle on in record speed. Merlin couldn’t help but be impressed. “You’re really good with the horses, Artemis. I’m complete rubbish at getting them ready.”

He saw Artemis smile before he started putting away the brushes from earlier onto the wall.

“I can lead the horse out onto the courtyard,” Merlin offered, “so you don’t have to be near Arthur when he comes out for his ride.”

Artemis looked grateful for the offer and held out the lead for him to take. Merlin got up and took it. He glanced all around before quickly kissing Artemis. “I’ll see you this afternoon by the big lake with the waterfall, yes?” Artemis nodded. “Can’t wait.” Merlin smiled and kissed him again before leading the horse out onto the courtyard.

  
  


******************************************************************************

The afternoon arrived before Merlin knew it, and he decided to check in on Robin before he went to meet Artemis at the lake. Robin had a book in his hands, and was lying on his side again. 

“How’s the book?” Merlin asked amicably, walking past him to grab some rags and soap.

“It’s good. It’s the only book I found that wasn’t about herbs and plants.” Robin said.

“Pain gone for now?”

“Yeah.” Robin set the book down. “What’s it like working for Prince Arthur?”

“I wish I had a coin for every time I was asked that.” Merlin joked. “It’s fine. He’s demanding, I won’t lie. He has the worst mood swings. Just yesterday he was in an awful mood. No idea why. And today he just wants to be left alone.” Merlin shrugged. “He doesn’t tell me anything personal.”

For some reason, Robin seemed very interested in what Merlin was saying. He normally had an apathetic air about him, but Merlin guessed that he just wanted to know more about the prince. Most people did when they found out Merlin worked for him.

“Has he ever… like ... hit you?” Robin asked tentatively.

Merlin looked at him is shock. “Gods, no.” He said. “Does your master hit you?”

“No, I was just curious.” Robin looked embarrassed now.

“He’s never struck me. He’s thrown things  _ at  _ me. But that’s a bit different.” Merlin had the soap and cloths in his hands. He considered bringing a change of clothes to the lake, but he’d just washed what he was wearing so he decided not to.

“So it really wasn’t Lord Dietrich who did this to you?” Merlin gestured vaguely at Robin.

“I’ve said multiple times that it wasn’t.” Robin snapped before composing himself. “And I still don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not trying to pry, I just really want to help you if I can.” Merlin pressed. “If someone is blackmailing you or something-”

“Nothing like that is happening.” Robin said, opening up his book again. Merlin was disappointed but dropped it for now.

“I’ll be back before sundown. Gaius should be back before then. I’m sure he’ll have to stop by here.”

Robin ignored him.

Merlin grabbed his satchel and put the soap and cloths inside. He started towards the door, then hesitated, turning back to look at Robin.

“If someone is abusing you, it doesn’t help anyone but the abuser when you keep quiet about it. I hope you’ll reconsider telling someone who it is.”

Robin again ignored him. Merlin sighed and went out the door. He hoped Robin would think about what he said.

******************************************************************************

Merlin saw Artemis waiting for him by the lake. He was lying on the grass, looking up at the sky.

Merlin went over to him, casting his shadow over Artemis’ face. Artemis looked startled, then smiled when he realized it was Merlin.

“You look very beautiful, love.” Merlin said affectionately. Artemis blushed, then held out his arms for Merlin to help him up.

They left their clothes in the grass. Merlin set his bag by the shore and took out the soap and cloths. He handed a cloth to Artemis, who was already wading into the water. Merlin followed him into the water, pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t as cold as it had been the last time he took a bath.

The small waterfall was loud as usual, but it didn’t bother Merlin. He got as close to it as possible, now neck-deep in the water. Artemis was following him. Merlin set the soap on a rock and turned his attention to Artemis, pulling him in closer and kissing him.

“I feel like I haven’t been as affectionate with you since I started treating Robin,” he murmured in Artemis’ ear, making him shiver. “I’d like to make it up to you, though.”

Artemis wrapped his arms around Merlin’s neck and got closer to him. He nuzzled at Merlin and kissed his cheek. Merlin’s heart fluttered at the gesture. He put his arms around his lover’s waist and kissed him again. He lifted Artemis’ chin with one hand and kissed his throat, feeling it constrict when he did so. He peppered several more kisses on his tanned neck, stopping to nip lightly at Artemis’ ear. 

Artemis wrapped his arms tighter around Merlin, and Merlin could feel his heart pounding where they were pressed up against each other. Artemis went in for another kiss and Merlin put his hand on the back of his head, kissing him back deeply and opening his mouth when Artemis shyly licked at his bottom lip.

Artemis wrapped his legs around Merlin’s waist and entwined his hands in Merlin’s hair. He gently ran his fingers through it until Merlin broke the kiss.

“I could probably use a haircut.” Merlin said, only half-joking. Artemis gave him a look like the suggestion displeased him and pointedly ran his hands through Merlin’s hair again, taking his time to show he really enjoyed it.

“When the ends of my hair are brushing the tips of my ears, it’s really annoying. It’ll grow back, though. Promise.” Merlin told him.

Artemis gave him another displeased look and then pressed his face into Merlin’s neck, nuzzling him affectionately. Merlin rubbed his back. “I’d love to lay you down on the grass and make love with you, but I don’t want to risk getting caught.” He said softly. He felt Artemis nod his understanding. “But as soon as Robin is better and out of Gaius’ chambers, I’m going to give you the best night of your life.” Artemis pressed in closer. Merlin assumed that meant he liked that idea.

“Suppose we better actually bathe real quick.” Merlin said, Artemis let him go, reluctantly it seemed, and Merlin swam towards the rock that had the soap placed on it.

Artemis lathered up his cloth with the soap, swimming a ways away until he was only waist deep in water. Merlin followed him.

They quickly scrubbed up. Merlin thought it was adorable how much Artemis concentrated on getting every single inch of his arms and chest scrubbed down, even using the soapy cloth to scrub his individual fingers and under his nails.

Artemis scrubbed his neck and behind his ears while Merlin, who was not  _ quite  _ as thorough as Artemis was, rinsed off his upper body by ducking under the water quickly and emerging, shaking his head like a dog.

“If you wash my back, I’ll wash yours, love.” Merlin offered. Artemis nodded and turned his back to him. Merlin rubbed his cloth in circles on his back, trying to be delicate as well as thorough. Artemis returned the favor as soon as Merlin was done.

After they had also cleaned their lower halves (Merlin was impressed when Artemis actually lifted each leg out of the water and cleaned every one of his toes as well), Artemis asked for the soap again, dipping under the water before lathering his newly soaked hair.

Merlin was wetting down his own hair when he saw Artemis staring at something in the forest in alarm. His heart quickened until he realized it was just some man he didn’t recognize strolling by, barely glancing at them in the water.

“Hey, it’s ok.” Merlin said lightly. Artemis still had a wary eye on the passerby. “People wash in groups all the time here. He’s not going to suspect us of anything.” Merlin assured him.

Artemis watched the man until he was out of sight before relaxing, resuming scrubbing his scalp.

Merlin started lathering up his hair until he realized why Artemis might have been on edge. “He wasn’t going to do anything to you, you know that?” Merlin said reassuringly. Artemis didn’t look at him. “Most people are harmless, I promise. Also, I’m right here. No need to worry.”

Artemis rinsed off his hair and waded into the deeper part of the water, and started swimming leisurely and aimlessly.

Merlin finished washing, tossing the soap onto the shore and following him, keeping a distance in case Artemis was trying to be alone.

Merlin went near the waterfall again and stuck his head under it for fun. It was shockingly cold and the force of the water coming down was more than he expected. He made a noise and quickly pulled away and turned to see Artemis smirking at him from the middle of the lake like he thought it was funny. Merlin acted like he was offended before laughing at himself.

He had no idea how long they were swimming until he remembered that he hadn’t brought anything to dry off with. “Artemis.” He called. Artemis looked over at him. “I didn’t bring a towel or anything, so we’ll have to start drying off in the sun now. I need to be back to check in with Arthur soon.”

Artemis nodded and swam to shore, laying down next to his clothes and watching Merlin approach him, lying down next to him.

“When do you turn 19, Artemis? This fall?” Merlin asked. Artemis shook his head. “Wintertime, right?” Artemis nodded. “I turn 20 in late autumn.” Merlin said. “If you wanted to get me anything.” Artemis snorted and smiled at him. Merlin laughed. “I’m kidding, of course.” Artemis rolled his eyes and then stretched out a little more.

“Do you have any siblings?” Artemis shook his head. “Me either. I had a friend who was like a brother to me, though.” Merlin said wistfully. “I miss him.”

Artemis gave him a sympathetic look and touched his arm. Merlin appreciated the gesture. 

“Do you have any idea who might be hurting Robin?” Merlin asked suddenly. “Any theories?”

Artemis gave him a look that Merlin couldn’t interpret. “Do you know for sure who it is?” Merlin pressed, raising up on one arm to look at him. Artemis shook his head. “But you have an idea?” Artemis nodded. “Who?”

Artemis gave him another look and then slowly went to touch his own wrist. The one that Arthur had supposedly bruised weeks ago. 

“... Oh.” Merlin said. “You think it’s Arthur?” Artemis nodded.

Merlin was about to say that was a bit far-fetched but thought better of it. How would Arthur know Robin? And why would Robin keep silent when he could definitely and easily tell the king? He had the marks to prove it if Arthur was targeting him..

He highly doubted it was Arthur, but said nothing like that to Artemis. “I’ll see what I can find out for sure.” He said noncommittally. But it made zero sense to him. If Arthur was seeking out someone to abuse,  _ if  _ he was that type of person, going after Robin, a completely random servant, didn’t make a bit of sense to him. Merlin didn’t like to think about it, but if Arthur  _ was _ going to go after someone to abuse, it would probably be him.

Obviously, he didn’t like to believe or think of Arthur as that type of person, but the prince going after anyone else besides Merlin if he  _ was  _ an abuser was logically flawed. Merlin was one of the closest people to him. He was pretty much constantly by Arthur’s side.

Merlin shuddered when he imagined the bruises that covered Robin’s body. The idea that Arthur could cause that much damage and physical trauma to someone was sickening. Whoever did that to Robin was a sick, sick person, and he didn’t think Arthur had it in him to do that.

******************************************************************************

If Arthur didn’t find Robin soon, he was going to lose it.

The sadness Arthur had felt this morning was replaced by scathing anger. Robin had stood him up. He was probably hiding from him. Arthur didn’t need to waste time missing him and feeling sad. He needed to find him and let him feel the full extent of his rage.

He accidentally let his mind wander to finding another servant to abuse, but that was too risky. He had struck gold with Robin. He couldn’t risk a servant tattling to the king. He couldn’t have this secret get out.

He briefly thought of Merlin. That boy was loyal to a fault. But again, he would be risking too much. As satisfying as it would be most days to strike Merlin and hear him cry out, he couldn’t do it. He would be losing a lot, even if Merlin didn’t tell the king.

Arthur tried letting his rage out by sword practicing on some of the target dummies on the training field. But it wasn’t the same.

He tried fantasizing and remembering Robin’s cries and pleas and gratitude after being struck, but it only made him want him back all the more.

If he didn’t find Robin very very soon, he was going to snap. He just knew it.

In desperation, he wondered if maybe Gaius had something that could calm him down. Maybe there was some herb out there that could quiet some of his rage. Gaius might have something.

Arthur nearly ran up to the physician’s study. He went in without knocking.

“Gaius?” He called, looking around. He heard a noise and his eyes went to a cot in the far right corner of the room. His heart skipped a beat when the person lying on the cot lifted his head.

“Robin?” He said, disbelieving.

Robin started to sit up, then winced and laid back down. “Sire. I- I’m so sorry.” He started.

Arthur went right over to him. “Why are you here? Is this why you stood me up?”

Robin couldn’t look at him. “I’m so sorry, my lord. The bruises… I could barely walk-”

Arthur grabbed one of his hands and went in for a kiss. Robin didn’t reciprocate at first, probably from the shock, and then gladly received the kiss.

Without warning, and barely knowing he was going to do it, Arthur bent back Robin’s wrist as hard as he could without breaking it. He heard Robin cry out and it was like soothing music to his ears.

“I’ve missed you.” Arthur admitted breathlessly. “I need you to come to my chambers right away.”

“Sire, I can’t.” Robin bit his lip nervously. “I mean… the physician told me I need bed rest and constant salve on my bruises for a week.”

“A week?” Arthur repeated in disbelief. “I can’t do without you for a whole week, Robin.”

“I’m so sorry, my lord. But I nearly lost my job. And I couldn’t even get out of bed a few days ago.”

“Are you trying to say you don’t want to meet with me anymore?” Arthur made himself sound menacing and stern, but his heart was sinking into his stomach.

“I do want to keep doing this, my lord.” Robin insisted. “I just need to fully heal. I promise I’ll be right there again as soon I’m healed.”

“But after a few weeks, won’t you just be right back here? I thought you were more resilient than this.”

“I’ve been thinking, my lord. If we could not do it every night but maybe.. a few times a week?” Robin’s voice dropped off when Arthur glared at him. “I am the prince.  _ You  _ do not tell me how often I am allowed to see you. Do you understand?”

Robin couldn’t look at him. “I do. I will try to be better.”

Arthur relented a little, feeling some tiny amount of pity. “We can switch things up.” He offered. “It doesn’t always have to be the belt. But I want to see you every night. If you ever stand me up again…” He let the threat hang in the air.

Robin nodded. “Understood sire. Thank you. I won’t do that ever again.”

Arthur grabbed his wrist again, squeezing it as hard as he could, going in for another kiss, biting down harshly on Robin’s lip, causing him to groan and gasp.

Arthur broke the kiss. “I’ll stop by again tomorrow.” He promised. “For now, can you show me your bruises?”

“The gauze… I don’t know how to reapply it once it’s off.” Robin said apologetically.

Arthur ignored his excuses, moving the blanket away, exposing one of Robin’s legs. “Let me see the pretty bruises I gave you before they are gone.” He said, peeling away the gauze. His heart rose in his chest at the sight of them. He squeezed Robin’s thigh, making him grit his teeth and groan. “Perfect.” Arthur whispered, putting the gauze on it again. It wasn’t that hard to rewrap.

Arthur stood up. “I’ll see you tomorrow some time. And I expect to see you back in my chambers by the end of the week.”

Arthur turned around, jumping inadvertently when he saw Artemis in the doorway.

Artemis look shocked and scared. Arthur wondered how much he’d heard. Not that it mattered. Could have been worse. Of all the people to find out, he was relieved it was just Artemis.

Arthur glanced back at Robin, who looked like he might be sick. “Artemis,” Robin said, “Please. Don’t tell anyone.”

Arthur laughed at that. “Don’t be ridiculous.” He mocked. “The boy is mute and barely knows how to write his own name. He’s not telling a soul.”

Arthur started for the doorway. Artemis scurried out of his way, but not in enough time to avoid Arthur quickly snatching his arm and pulling him closer. “I hope the memory of our time together last month is still fresh in your mind,” He said quietly. “If you don’t want it to happen again, I suggest not trying to tell Merlin what you saw and heard just now.”

He grabbed Artemis’ chin. He noted that he smelled a lot less like the stables and more like soap. He was carrying Merlin’s satchel. He must have been with Merlin at the lake, Arthur realized.

“Did you know that Artemis is Merlin’s whore, Robin?” Artemis winced when Arthur said that. Robin looked surprised. “I’ve seen them a few times around the castle." Arthur continued. "If Artemis tries to tell Merlin our own little secret, maybe we can share him.” 

Arthur pushed Artemis back roughly, making him stumble. He heard him sniffle as he went down the stairs.

He was so glad he decided to visit the physician’s quarters. And he’d even gotten the pleasure of seeing Artemis cower before him again. His day couldn’t get any better than this.


	13. Chapter 13

Robin thought he was going to be sick. The second Arthur was out the door, Artemis tossed the satchel he was carrying onto the table, gave Robin a look, and then practically ran to his room, slamming the door behind him.

So many things had happened at once that it was taking Robin a while to process. 

Arthur found him. Robin was actually relieved that part was over. He thought Arthur would be enraged when he saw him and he wasn’t. He’d kissed Robin fully and with so much passion that Robin’s heart fluttered again at the memory.

But Artemis had come in at some point. Who knows what all he heard and saw. Robin felt relieved that he was mute and, according to Arthur, barely literate. Hopefully he had no way at all of telling anyone.

Arthur said that Artemis was intimate with Merlin? It took a minute to think through that one. He really hadn’t thought Merlin or Artemis swung that way but apparently they did. Arthur said he had seen them together around the castle. Robin had zero intention of ratting them out to anyone, he was just shocked.

And the part that made him feel sick: Arthur threatening Artemis the way he did. Robin didn’t hear the first thing he said to Artemis, as Arthur had said it too quietly, but when he threatened to ‘share’ Artemis with him if Artemis tried to tell anyone? Robin didn’t like that implication one bit. He had no desire to force himself upon someone, and he couldn’t believe Arthur had made that kind of threat.

Robin sat up with some difficulty. He needed to check on Artemis, to make sure he was okay. He also wanted to assure Artemis that he had no intentions of hurting him whatsoever. Maybe he should apologize on behalf of the prince.

He got up. His clothes were in a folded pile by the cot. He couldn’t put them on, as most of his body was wrapped in gauze. It would be a hard task to try and dress himself. He wrapped his blanket tightly around himself.

His legs didn’t ache as badly as yesterday, but his back was a different story. Every step caused a twinge of pain. He tried to keep his back as straight as possible. He knew he probably looked ridiculous limping across the floor stiffly.

He got to the door, and knocked lightly. He waited for some indication that Artemis had heard the knock, but he heard nothing. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. 

Artemis was sitting cross-legged on the bed, holding a pillow. His eyes grew wide when he saw Robin, then his face settled into something Robin assumed was supposed to be intimidating, and he gripped the pillow like he was ready to whack Robin with it. 

“Artemis, I’m not going to do anything, I promise.” Robin began. Artemis narrowed his eyes at him. Robin continued. “I wanted to apologize. I don’t know why the prince spoke to you that way. I think he was just nervous after you saw us.”

Robin swallowed, looking behind him briefly to make sure they were still alone. “Please don’t try to tell anyone what you saw. I’m not going to threaten you like he did, I just want you to tell me that you won’t tell anyone about the prince and me.”

He waited for a second. Artemis’ face softened a little.

“Is it true? About you and Merlin..? I won’t tell anyone, promise. But is Prince Arthur right? Are you and Merlin together?” Robin asked.

Artemis looked away from him and his face started turning red. He gave a nearly imperceptible nod.

“Alright. I won’t tell anyone. We’ll keep each other’s secrets.” Robin said. He came very close to admitting his own attraction to men before he stopped himself. Artemis probably figured that one out already, depending upon how long he had been in the room watching Arthur and Robin. And if he hadn’t, it was a stupid thing to admit out of nowhere.

“Again, before I go,” Robin began, “I need you to know that what Arthur threatened you with… well… I’d never do that. I couldn’t. And I’m so sorry again that he said that to you.”

Artemis glanced at him, looking up and down. His demeanor had relaxed just a little.

Robin decided not to linger any longer. He carefully shut the door and limped back to bed.

******************************************************************************

That evening, after Merlin had finished taking care of Arthur until bedtime and was back in the physician’s chambers, he’d noticed something was off with Artemis. He seemed a little out of it, very distracted and lost in thought.

Artemis had assured him in his own way that he was alright, and that no one had done anything to him, but he wasn’t being his usual self.

Merlin helped Gaius reorganize some of his tinctures and herb bottles before leaving to finish taking care of Arthur.

Arthur was in high spirits that night, for whatever reason, and was actually being pleasant to Merlin.

Merlin noted that Arthur had been through quite a lot of mood swings for only a few days, but decided to keep that to himself. At least he was happy.

Merlin got Arthur in bed, kept a couple of candles lit at the prince’s request, and headed to his own room.

Gaius had given Robin new gauze, and his medicines, and it looked like the sleeping draught was kicking in for Robin. Merlin didn’t stick around the physician, heading straight to bed to be with Artemis.

Merlin changed his clothes and shut his door, locking it, and climbed into bed. Artemis made room for him.

“Literacy lesson again tomorrow, Artemis.” Merlin said to him, cuddling up close. “If you need anything from me to help you learn, I’ll be happy to.”

Artemis still seemed lost in thought, but he nodded. He eventually turned to face Merlin and threw one leg over him, pressing his face against Merlin’s arm. Merlin wasn’t a fan of this cuddling position but he let him stay.

By the time Merlin could hear Gaius snoring, he was almost asleep until he became aware of Artemis nuzzling his shoulder, then scooting up to kiss his cheek.

Merlin kept his eyes closed, too tired to say anything or reciprocate, but moved his arm so it embraced Artemis, kind of lazily petting his back.

Feeling encouraged, Artemis kissed his face and hair, splaying his left hand on Merlin’s chest. He pressed his face into Merlin’s neck and nuzzled him.

Merlin appreciated the affection, but he was so exhausted and he didn’t want to hurt Artemis’ feeling by seemingly ignoring him. “Sorry, love, but I’m tired,” he murmured, eyes still closed, “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow, though. Promise.”

He could almost feel Artemis’ disappointment as he pulled away. He heard Artemis sigh and then he placed his head on Merlin’s chest, draping his left arm across his stomach.

Merlin held him close and eventually fell asleep listening to his soft breaths.

******************************************************************************

Robin was so bored he could scream. The physician’s study was empty most of the time, unless someone was stopping in to grab supplies or check in on him.

Nearly all the books in the study were about plants, and he had no interest in those. Sometimes he would try to walk around the room, blanket wrapped tightly around himself, and look at the bottles and dried plants, reading all the labels and names. He looked out the window a few times. He really missed being out in the sun.

Late afternoon rolled around, and he had been wandering around for about ten minutes before his aches and bruises started hurting too much and he laid back down, on his side this time, facing the doorway like usual. 

Not even a minute had passed before Artemis walked into the room, looking at him briefly before going into his room. Robin thought it ironic that he was dying to have a conversation with someone and the only person that showed up in the last few hours was a mute.

He heard rustling and Artemis re-emerged, carrying parchment paper. Then he grabbed an inkwell and a quill, sitting down at the table and dipping the quill in the ink.

Robin was curiously watching him, wondering if he was trying to write. Then Artemis started drawing, sometimes small things, sometimes taking up a large section of the page. Robin really wanted to see what he was drawing, but didn’t want to interrupt him by asking.

There was a comfortable silence in the room, only broken by the scratching sound of Artemis drawing.

Robin suddenly remembered that Arthur had said yesterday that he was going to try to stop by and see him again. As much as he wanted to see the prince, he was scared of what he might say to Artemis if he came by right about now.

He opened his mouth to say something, maybe suggest Artemis go into his room or go somewhere else to sketch, but then Merlin came into the room.

Artemis looked up and grinned as soon he saw Merlin. Merlin smiled back and went over to him. “Are you writing? Oh. Drawing?” He said. He pointed to a section on the parchment. “Is that supposed to be me?” Artemis nodded.

Robin watched them interact with each other, Merlin looking over the parchment and Artemis watching his face with what could only be described as adoration in his eyes. Robin wished someone would look at him like that one day. He wondered if he would ever look at anyone like that. Maybe Arthur... but there was barely any reciprocation there. The most Arthur would do was kiss him. He barely touched him unless it was to cause more pain. As much as Robin liked what they did, he imagined what it would be like if they were more like Artemis and Merlin.

He watched wistfully as Artemis very lightly and subtly touched Merlin’s hand that was resting on the table while Merlin complimented his art. He wished Arthur would one day touch him softly, maybe after one of their sessions together. Just the thought of a soft, loving touch from Arthur gave him a pang of longing in his chest.

Merlin straightened up and Artemis pulled his hand away, like he just realized Robin was watching. Merlin turned his attention to Robin.

“How are you feeling?” He asked Robin, going to grab the supplies to redress Robin’s bruises.

“Little bit achey.” Robin said. “I have been walking around, though. I get bored.”

“Understandable on both accounts.” Merlin handed him another pain tincture. “Gaius told me when he redressed your wounds last night that your lower half was healing up a lot faster than your back.”

“I got hit a lot harder and more often on my back than my legs.” Robin said casually, without thinking. Merlin gave him a sympathetic look. He could do without the sympathy. He  _ had  _ asked for it harder and Arthur was only complying. If only Merlin knew the truth, Robin thought. He would be so appalled.

He glanced over at Artemis to see his reaction. He wasn’t surprised to see Artemis actually looked disgusted at what he’d said. Artemis knew the truth. Robin knew he was disgusting and probably mentally ill for doing what he did with Arthur. He was also messed up for developing feelings for Arthur in the midst of it all. He deserved the look Artemis gave him.

Robin forgot to take the tincture. He opened the bottle as Merlin pulled down the blanket a little farther.

As he went to take the tincture, and Merlin was starting to unwrap his gauze on his back, Prince Arthur came into the room.

Robin choked, mid-swallow, and started coughing. Merlin, probably confused by his reaction, pulled him into a sitting position to help. “You alright?” He asked.

Robin nodded. Half of the tincture had been coughed onto the floor. Normally he would feel bad about the waste, but he was too focussed on Arthur. He’d actually come by to see him. He’d missed him. Robin’s heart fluttered again against his will.

“Arthur.” Merlin said simply, once Robin wasn’t coughing anymore. “Did you need me for something?”

Arthur strode purposefully into the room, ignoring Artemis who was still sitting at the table. He stopped in front of the cot where Robin sat, so close Robin could have reached out and touched him. And he really  _ really  _ wanted to.

“I was promised clean floors yesterday, Merlin. Do you remember? You said they looked dirty and asked if I wanted them cleaned?”

“You said I could when I got the time.” Merlin said.

“I’m making it a priority now.” Arthur said curtly. “I want my floor cleaned before I go to bed tonight.”

“Fine.” Merlin said, sounding done. “I’ll do it after I tend to my patient.”

Robin heard parchment rustling. He turned his attention away from Arthur and looked at Artemis, who was gathering his papers and then went to his room. Before he went in, he gave Robin what could only be a dirty look and then shut the door behind him.

Robin flushed red and hoped Merlin wouldn’t notice.

Arthur looked at him as Merlin peeled the gauze away. Robin took in everything about the prince. He was wearing a red shirt today, just like he was the first night he invited Robin to his chambers. He looked amazing in red. His dagger hung by his side and Robin remembered when he had promised to give Robin scars with it. It made his heart race to imagine that. He wanted those scars from the prince so badly it was almost unbearable.

“Arthur, um, I know you’re the prince and all, but Robin needs to be tended to right now, and I don’t want him to have an audience watching.” Merlin said.

“It’s alright.” Robin said before he realized it. “He’s the prince.” He saw a small smile tug at the corner of Arthur’s mouth when he said that.

“What’s happened to him?” Arthur asked, watching the gauze come off little by little.

“Just an injury is all.” Merlin answered, cleary not at ease with Arthur watching.

Once the gauze was fully off his back, Merlin set to work reapplying to salve. “Some of your bruises are turning color, which is good. They’re healing. A lot of them aren’t that dark anymore.” He let Robin know.

Arthur walked over to where Merlin was to see the bruises better. Robin could almost feel his gaze flicker over each one.

“Has he said what happened?” Arthur asked lightly. Robin’s brow furrowed. Did Arthur think Robin would tattle on him?

“No.” Merlin still sounded uncomfortable with Arthur standing there watching.

“I see.”

“He says it’s not his master, though.”

“Hm.” Arthur said simply.

Arthur walked back to his original spot in front of Robin. “Suppose I’ll leave you to it.” He said. “I expect to see you cleaning my floors within the next hour, Merlin.”

“I’ll be there.” Merlin said dryly.

“Good.” Arthur gave one last look to Robin and left.

“Sorry about that.” Merlin said under his breath. “He’s a prat, so sometimes he doesn’t respect the privacy of others.”

“I really didn’t mind.” Robin assured him.

“I’m living proof you can always say no to the prince.” Merlin said half-jokingly. “If you ever needed to.”

“I probably won’t.”

“Probably not.” Merlin wrapped him up again. “We’ll do your legs tonight. I don’t want to apply more ointment than is needed on them since they are healing fine. We’ll apply the ointment once a day now on your lower half. Twice a day on your back.”

“Alright.” Robin laid back down on his side. “Sorry I wasted most of the medicine.”

“It’s fine.” Merlin grabbed a cloth and cleaned up the medicine on the floor quickly. “We have plenty.”

Merlin set the cloth down and went over to his room. He knocked on the door twice before opening it and peeking in. “You could come out if you wanted.” He said to Artemis. Robin heard the bed squeak and Merlin backed up as Artemis re-emerged.

“I have some more chores to do.” Merlin said. “I’ll see you both this evening.”

Robin rolled onto his stomach after Merlin left. He knew when Artemis started drawing again when he heard the oddly pleasant scratching sound of the quill on the page.

He knew Arthur had originally come to see him, not Merlin. He probably just had the excuse ready of a chore for Merlin to do in case he was there. He wished that the room had still been empty when Arthur arrived. He was dying to kiss the prince again and talk to him. There was always tomorrow, provided they had the luck of being alone.

******************************************************************************

Nighttime rolled around. Merlin was walking to his room. Gaius was going to bed. Robin had been given his sleeping draught and was halfway asleep. And Artemis was waiting for him in their room.

He shut and locked the door behind him. Artemis was rolling up his parchment he’d been drawing on and putting it on the bookshelf.

Merlin silently held out his hand and Artemis walked over and took it. Merlin pulled him closer and kissed him. “It’s so hard not to be able to touch you and kiss you whenever I want.” He said softly.

Artemis put his arms around his neck and kissed him again, pulling away after a minute and pressing several more kisses to Merlin’s jaw.

Merlin closed his eyes, enjoying Artemis’ affections. He tugged at the hem of Artemis’ shirt before sliding his hand under it. Artemis arched towards him as Merlin softly stroked his chest and stomach under his shirt.

Merlin felt Artemis nuzzle his throat, and then felt the unmistakable feeling of him gently sucking on his skin to leave a mark. Normally, he would discourage that, but it felt so amazing and right that he just let him do it. He wore a scarf everyday anyway.

As soon as Artemis was done leaving his mark, he took off his shirt and Merlin wasted no time leaning down and peppering more kisses all over his chest, licking a line across his collarbone and dropping down lower and lower, kissing and licking his soft skin, until he was on his knees in front of Artemis.

He looked up. He could see in the moonlight that Artemis’ face was flushed. It was such a pretty sight.

Merlin lightly placed his hand on Artemis’ arousal, looking at him for permission. “I’d really love to suck you.” He whispered to him.

Artemis quickly started untying his breeches, Merlin couldn’t resist kissing his fingers as they worked to unlace the string and started pulling his breeches down.

As soon as Artemis’ cock was exposed, Merlin wasted no time in taking it in his mouth. He heard Artemis suck in air sharply and then he felt a hand run through his hair.

Merlin wished he knew why Artemis always tasted so amazing. He’d enjoyed a few cocks in his mouth in the last few years, but none of the men he’d ever been with tasted as pleasant as Artemis.

Merlin couldn’t help but salivate, coating Artemis’ cock with it, sucking and bobbing his head up and down, using his tongue to circle the tip and even trying to take him into his throat, though he was rarely successful at doing that.

He kept glancing up at Artemis, trying to read his face in the moonlight. Artemis’ eyes were shut most of the time, his chest heaving as Merlin sucked at him. One of his hands kept playing with Merlin’s hair, while the other hung at his side.

Merlin heard his breath go more ragged, and his cock stiffened up just a little more before spurting into his mouth. Merlin actually moaned when he tasted it in his mouth. He pulled off carefully, knowing how sensitive Artemis was after an orgasm. He waited patiently on his knees until Artemis came down from his high and looked at him. Then he swallowed it.

Artemis tugged him up to his feet, unlacing Merlin’s breeches and pulling them down all the way. Merlin went ahead and pulled his shirt off too. “Try not to choke, love. We’re trying to be quiet.” He whispered. Artemis was a tad bit enthusiastic and ambitious when going down on Merlin, and that meant he often choked or coughed after trying to take in too much of Merlin. As hot as that was sometimes, he didn’t want anyone out there hearing it, even though they both sounded fast asleep.

Artemis nodded, licking from the base to the tip before taking some of him in. Merlin liked seeing his mouth stretch around his cock and his eyes shut with pleasure as he sucked. His tongue flicked under the tip and Merlin couldn’t help but make a sound.

Artemis wrapped his hand around the base of his cock, squeezing it a little as he sucked. He would sometimes pull off to kiss Merlin’s cock and it was both cute and incredibly hot to see.

It took Merlin a couple minutes longer than it took Artemis to cum, and he warned Artemis a few seconds before he did. He felt and heard Artemis swallow as it spurted into his mouth. He pulled off when it was done.

“You’ve gotten so good, Artemis.” Merlin complimented him, pulling up his breeches again. Artemis smiled and stood up, putting his breeches back on and climbing into bed.

Merlin snuggled up with him under the covers. “Sleep tight, love.” He kissed Artemis, wrapping him up in his arms and falling asleep shortly thereafter.


	14. Chapter 14

Today was the day. Robin’s last day under constant care of the physician. His bruises were mostly yellow and brown instead of black and blue, and he felt confident that he could do most of his chores. He couldn’t bend down very far, though, and he would have to watch how much he was lifting, but he felt fine. He wasn’t constantly achy and miserable anymore.

He was also just done with listening to Merlin not-so-subtly try to get him to admit who had done what they did to him. It was beyond annoying. Robin was  _ this  _ close to just outright telling the nosey servant that he had enjoyed nearly every minute the ‘abuse’ and he had kept coming back for more.

The only issue he ever had was Arthur’s unwillingness to relent and know when Robin had had enough for the night. The prince didn’t seem to listen when Robin asked for a bit of mercy. Hopefully, since Robin had literally ended up on bedrest because of how bad his injuries were, Arthur would listen to him now when he says he’s had enough.

One whole week of bedrest was pure torture for Robin. He never wanted to end up back here again.

******************************************************************************

Merlin had unwrapped Robin’s gauze for the last time. He turned away out of politeness as Robin put his clothes on for the first time in a week. He thought of how awkward would be to be unable to have clothes on as you recovered and to just be covered up with a blanket while you were around people.

He turned back around after Robin was done getting dressed. He seemed excited and happy, and Merlin completely understood. He’d go crazy being cooped up in here too. 

“So,” Merlin started, “You go back to work tomorrow morning?”

“Yes,” Robin confirmed, “I need to stop by and see Lord Dietrich when I leave here.”

“Alright. Um.” Merlin shifted awkwardly. “If you ever need me for anything… I’ll be glad to help you. Like… if you ever need something. Or just want to talk….”

Robin raised an eyebrow. Merlin figured he was being pretty transparent. He never got Robin to say what had happened to him, and it was still bothering him.

“Yeah. Sure.” Robin eventually said. He walked past Merlin. “See you around.”

“Yeah.” Merlin watched him go out the door and down the staircase. That one might be a lost cause, Merlin thought.

The whole situation perplexed Merlin. If someone had been suspicious and tried to help Merlin when he was being forced to do things with his abuser years ago, he’d have probably accepted the help. He was too weak to fight his abuser, but somebody else could have run the man out of town if he’d just had someone notice and care. Nobody ever found out, though, and it went on and on until the man had gotten tired of him and stopped forcing him.

It messed him up for a long time, too, being forced to do things with that disgusting man. Merlin knew from the time he reached puberty that he liked both boys and girls. But being forced to do sexual favors for his abuser kind of put a damper on his enthusiasm to do things with the same sex. There was this feeling of shame and disgust that would pop up whenever he got aroused thinking of doing things with another boy in his small village.

When he was fifteen, a few months after his abuser had gotten tired of him and left him alone, he had another boy his age develop an obvious crush on him. Merlin didn’t feel quite as strongly towards this person but he thought he was cute enough and he allowed himself to flirt back.

The boy’s name was Ailwin, and they would sit up in the barn loft when it got dark and talk and flirt a little. Ailwin kissed him first, and it was a thousand times better coming from an attractive person his own age than a perverted older man. 

Their relationship, if it could be called that, progressed further and further. The feeling of shame and guilt from being with someone of the same sex slowly diminished and Merlin found himself enjoying himself more and more. 

Ailwin’s family ended up leaving due to a food shortage in the village, and the night before he had to leave with his family, Ailwin stole a bit of oil and told Merlin he wanted him to take his virginity before he had to go in the morning. Merlin gladly obliged. He would put it in his top ten best sexual experiences.

Then, a few years later, after moving to Camelot, Merlin felt a strong pull towards Artemis when he met him, even though everyone told him it was useless trying to befriend Artemis, who was very guarded, mistrusting, and shy.

It wasn’t clear who developed feelings first, but about a month after they became friends, Merlin and Artemis were sitting by the lake in the late evening, and Artemis shyly took Merlin’s hand and leaned on his shoulder. He seemed nervous but Merlin silently encouraged him by using his thumb to stroke Artemis’ hand while he spoke to him.

Their first kiss was by the lake as well, a few days later. Merlin remembered the way Artemis had trembled when their lips first met, and how anxious but happy he’d seemed.

This was before Merlin was aware of all the trauma Artemis had been through at the hands of his own abusers years ago. Having Artemis gradually tell him his story of past abuse through motions and vague written words made him feel honored and special that Artemis was even willing to have a relationship with another man. Although Merlin found out Artemis was  _ only  _ attracted to men, it still couldn’t have been easy to be hurt and traumatized like that by 3 different people and still trust another person enough to form a romantic relationship with him even years after.

Merlin used to think his and Artemis’ relationship was casual, until he found himself thinking of Artemis constantly a couple of months in, always looking forward to seeing him again and finding time together. He found himself thinking about what his own future might look like, and picturing Artemis there alongside him. He could happily spend the rest of his days with Artemis, and never even look at anyone else.

And now he envisioned the perfect time to tell Artemis he loved him. He really, truly loved Artemis, more than he ever thought he could love another person.

******************************************************************************

Nighttime came, and Robin found himself where he had been dying to be; in the prince’s chambers, with the room lit up by the fire roaring in the fireplace.

Arthur kissed him the second the door was locked. Robin thought he could faint right then and there from happiness.

“You didn’t come see me, sire.” Robin said after the kiss had been broken. “Not since you tried a few days ago and Merlin was there.”

“I wanted to,” Arthur assured him. “I couldn’t find the right time.”

“I understand, sire.”

“But we’re here now. And I have so many things planned for you.”

“Yes, my lord.” Robin’s heart pounded so much it nearly hurt.

“Take off your clothes. Go to my bed.”

Robin discarded his clothes as he walked towards the bed. He hoped against all hope that Arthur was going to take his virginity tonight.

“You promise you’ll never stand me up ever again?” Arthur asked, pulling an old shirt out of his wardrobe.

“I promise.” Robin laid down on the bed

“I need to make certain you’re serious when you say you belong to me.”

“I am serious. I’m so sorry I didn’t show up-”

“We’re past the grovelling and apologizing.” Arthur interrupted sharply. “I just need to know that I can trust you. That you didn’t tell anyone about us.”

“I didn’t. I swear. You can trust me.”

Arthur approached him. He lifted Robin’s left leg and put the shirt underneath it. Then he pulled out his dagger. “I promised you scars. Would you like that?”

“Yes, my lord.” Robin felt himself grow hot and aroused at the thought. His cock twitched and Arthur noticed.

“Good.” Arthur then set the dagger off to the side. Robin was perplexed.

Then Arthur opened his bedside drawer and pulled out a much smaller blade, maybe the width of one of his fingers, and not much longer.

“This is mostly a blade for decoration. It was dull when I bought it yesterday. I had Merlin sharpen it up this morning.” Arthur told him. “I’ll use my dagger later on. This blade is better for precision.”

Robin felt both cold and hot as the blade approached his upper thigh. He was half-hard now, and he noticed his mouth was open and he shut it as the tip of the blade touched his skin.

“I want you to touch yourself while I do this, Robin.” Arthur ordered, holding the blade steady until Robin shakily grabbed his cock in his right hand and started stroking it.

The second the blade pushed in and blood trickled out, Robin’s head snapped back until he was looking straight up at the ceiling. He kept obediently pumping his cock as the stinging feeling of the skin slicing openly easily continued.

“I wanted to give you a special design, Robin.” Arthur said, “I thought of writing my name, but that wouldn’t be very wise, although it would look so beautiful on you. Then I thought of my initials. Again, very unwise.”

Robin felt the itching of the blood running down his thigh. Through the pain, he couldn’t help but think how precise Arthur’s cuts were.

“Then I remembered what appears on our official flag. A red dragon. And do you know that is in Welsh?”

Robin shook his head, still staring up at the ceiling. Again his thoughts briefly drifted to how odd it was to experience incredible pain and then intense pleasure a half second later. His cock was leaking now as he continued to obey Arthur’s order to touch himself.

“In Welsh, it’s “Y Ddraig Goch.” Arthur pronounced it perfectly. “I thought of how perfect it would be to have on your skin. A representation of me, if you will.”

Robin wanted to compliment him on the idea. It felt right to do so. But he was so focussed on the swirling mix of pain and pleasure mixing in his mind that he couldn’t form the words.

“Last word.” He heard Arthur mutter. He blotted at the blood pouring out of the wounds. “You look absolutely wrecked right now.”

Robin felt his orgasm fast approaching. His arm was shaking as he kept pumping and focussing on the feeling of the tiny blade cutting him.

The second before Arthur finished the last word, Robin came. He trembled and Arthur held his left leg down firmly until he stopped. Then he finished the word.

“All done.” Arthur said, sounding pleased with himself. “Wasn’t actually expecting you to cum, though.”

“Sorry.” Robin said breathlessly, still trying to think straight. The fresh wound throbbed and stung wonderfully. His chest was coated in his slick cum.

“You’re very interesting, Robin.” Arthur said, as he usually did when Robin enjoyed a particularly harsh activity.

Arthur clumsily wrapped his thigh in the shirt, then stood up. Robin saw his arousal through his breeches.

“Thank you, sire.” Robin said at last.

“It won’t be the last time.”

“I hope not.”

Arthur arched an eyebrow at his comment and then took his shirt off. “I suppose we are both very interesting people.” He said thoughtfully. He laid down next to Robin on his side, looking him up and down. “Never ever thought I would do this to anyone, let alone enjoy it.”

“Never thought I would be doing this with a prince.” Robin said. Arthur laughed a little. It was a nice sound.

“When did you know?” Arthur asked suddenly. “That you were into things like… this?”

Robin bit his lip. “Not sure, really. When I was a child, I think. I guess it was just the idea at first that I realized was enticing.”

“What idea?”

“Of being…. you know... hurt by someone. Physically hurt. I liked the idea. I liked imagining it.”

“Hm.” Arthur said, watching his face intently. “Had anyone ever hurt you before me to intentionally give you pleasure?”

“No. Not intentionally.” Again, Arthur laughed.

“It was really awkward for me growing up.” Robin continued. “Someone my age would be rough or mean to me, like twist my arm or something and I would get aroused by it.” Even now, Robin’s face flushed. “I don’t know why I’m like this.”

Arthur didn’t reply. He reached out and ran a finger down Robin’s bare arm, making the skin prickle.

“When did you know? That you liked inflicting pain?” Robin asked boldly.

“Not sure.” Arthur muttered quietly. “It was a series of things that eventually clicked.”

He didn’t continue. There was a comfortable silence in the air.

“You promised me that you would be doing lots of things to me.” Robin reminded him softly. He was still holding onto the idea that Arthur might take his virginity tonight.

“I did.” Arthur agreed. “Maybe no more knife-play, thought. I only have the one old shirt for tonight. I don’t want to ruin another.”

Robin actually felt disappointed. He wondered if Arthur were to do it twice in a row if he would be able to cum again.

Arthur got up and brought him a cold rag that had been sitting in a water bucket. “Clean off your chest.” He ordered. Robin wiped everything up and handed it back to him. Arthur took the rag, looking grossed out, and dumped it back in the bucket.

“Raise up.” Arthur demanded. Robin did so. “Let’s go back to basics for a minute.”

Before Robin could reply, he was struck across the face. He gasped and went to cover the mark automatically.

“There it is.” Arthur sounded pleased. He pulled Robin’s hand away and struck him again. He didn’t relent, and Robin felt his skin burning and stinging worse and worse after each hit. He cried out unwittingly in pain after several hits. “Wait-” he started to say, cut off by another strike. He felt dizzy and he tried to move away. Arthur grabbed his shoulder to keep him still and grabbed under his chin. He leaned in close and roughly kissed Robin, biting down on his lower lip and tugging at it before releasing.

“I missed this so much.” Arthur said before going in for another kiss.

Robin was afraid Arthur might start hitting him again when he was done kissing him. He didn’t mind being struck, but Arthur always started hitting just a tad too hard and too quickly. It made him stop feeling any pleasure and felt like an actual beating when Arthur refused to relent.

So Robin, before Arthur could stop kissing him and start up the hitting again, wrapped his arms around Arthur’s shoulders and scooted into his lap.

Arthur immediately stopped kissing him and leaned back to look at his face. He seemed confused by Robin’s sudden proximity.

Robin decided he liked sitting in the prince’s lap. It was some of the soft intimacy he craved from him. He thought about how nice it would be to let Arthur do whatever he wanted, and then be pulled into his warm lap after and held.

Robin couldn’t resist burying his face in Arthur’s neck. He sighed with contentment until he felt how stiff Arthur was. He wasn’t holding him, or even touching him anymore. He seemed… uncomfortable.

“Get. Off.” He heard the prince say sternly.

Robin was suddenly mortified at what he had done. He slid off of Arthur’s lap, off to the side of him. He couldn’t meet the prince’s eyes. “Sorry, sire.”

“What the hell was that?” Arthur demanded, standing up and looking down at him.

“I just wanted to….” Robin couldn’t bring himself to finish his sentence. He didn’t want to further embarrass himself by admitting that he wanted to prince to hold him and show him some real affection for a moment. But he just realized that he may have crossed a line.

“Don’t.  _ Ever _ . Do that again. Do you understand?”

“Yes, my lord. I’m sorry.” He couldn’t look at Arthur.

There were a few moments of silence, then Arthur said, “I think we’re done for the night.”

“No! Sire, please no!” Robin looked at him pleadingly. “Let me stay longer. I won’t do it again.”

“I  _ told you _ .” Arthur said angrily, “You do what I say. You are here for  _ my  _ amusement. Don’t  _ ever  _ try to do anything like that again.”

“I won’t. I swear I won’t.” Robin was clasping his hands together as he begged. “I just wanted to be closer to you. I’m sorry. Please don’t make me go.”

“You wanted to ‘be closer to me’?” Arthur repeated in disgust and disbelief. “I give you what I give you and not a thing more.”

“I know. I won’t do it again.”

“I’ve told you multiple times, I’m not like you.” Arthur picked up his shirt from where he’d tossed it earlier. “I’m not a degenerate.”

Robin lowered his head in shame. Arthur often made scathing comments to him about his sexuality. They always stung, but this was worse. He had really thought that Arthur might have some feelings for him, even just a little bit. For god’s sake, he kissed him easily enough. Having Robin get in his lap didn’t seem much worse than that.

“I want you to leave.” Arthur insisted. “I need you to face some consequences for what you did.”

Arthur threw Robin his clothes. “Keep this in mind the next time we are together. You take what I give you. You get nothing else. Got it?”

Robin’s eyes stung but he nodded. He looked down at the drying, blood-soaked shirt around his thigh and slowly peeled it away. He couldn’t help but hiss in pain as the scabs were pulled and peeled away with the fabric.

The wound started bleeding again. Arthur regarded it coldly.

“Could I have something to wrap my leg in?” Robin asked quietly.

Arthur sighed. He grabbed a pillow and pulled off the pillowcase. “You can use this.” He said. “Make sure no one sees it. You’ll have to burn it tomorrow. I certainly won’t want it back.”

Robin took the pillowcase gratefully, wrapping it around his thigh. He carefully pulled on his breeches again and finally his shirt. “May I come here tomorrow?”

“If you agree not to have a repeat of this behavior.” Arthur said.

“I won’t. Thank you, sire.” Robin bowed before walking sadly to the door. This whole evening had turned bitter and sour. He berated himself mentally all the way to the servant’s quarters. He felt so stupid for trying that with the prince. He would make it up to him tomorrow.

******************************************************************************

Merlin’s lips felt swollen and salty from kissing Artemis so much. 

He had his lover in his lap while he sat on the edge of the bed. Artemis’ legs were wrapped tight around his waist. He could have stayed like this all night.

Artemis, however, was eager to start the lovemaking, and he finally got up off of Merlin’s lap and bent over to get something from under the bed.

Merlin didn’t know he was doing until Artemis handed him a small, clear vial of oil. “Artemis.” Merlin said, pretending to be shocked, “did you steal this from the kitchens?”

Artemis looked at him slyly and then wasted no more time taking his shirt off and climbing back onto Merlin.

Normally, they used saliva, as Merlin tended to produce a lot of it and it worked pretty well. But if Artemis wanted oil tonight, then they would use oil.

“You are so pretty and so naughty, Artemis.” Merlin said before kissing him again.

He wasn’t big on using dirty talk with Artemis. He’d used it with other partners in the past, but he realized a lot of the language used could be just a bit degrading, and while his previous partners had liked being spoken to that way, he couldn’t imagine using that language with Artemis. He instead stuck to praises and compliments with him.

Artemis didn’t seem to mind being called naughty, though. He grinded up against Merlin and started kissing his face. He nipped Merlin’s earlobes, making Merlin shiver, and sucked softly on his neck, not enough to leave any marks, but just enough to make Merlin groan with pleasure.

“You can’t wait for me to be inside of you, can you, love?” Merlin whispered with his eyes closed, head tilted to one side to allow Artemis plenty of room to kiss and suck his skin.

In response, Artemis grinded against him again, taking Merlin’s face between his hands and kissing him fervently. He pushed on Merlin, encouraging him to fall back onto the bed. Merlin did so, and then allowed Artemis to pull his shirt off.

Artemis set to work kissing and licking his collarbone and chest until Merlin was panting and whining uncontrollably. “You’re so amazing.” He managed to say.

Artemis stood up, removing the rest of his clothes. Merlin immediately did the same. He grabbed the oil as Artemis got on all fours on the bed.

Merlin uncorked the bottle and poured a little onto Artemis’ opening. He felt Artemis shiver and then gasp as Merlin started preparing him, slowly and torturously sliding his finger in and out, and then adding a second soon after.

By the time he was using three fingers, Artemis was a shaking mess, pushing back against him while Merlin tried to hold him still. “Shh, be patient love. It’ll happen.” He heard Artemis’ frustrated sigh in response.

Merlin purposefully took his time prepping him. He was painfully aroused, but hearing Artemis pant and twist in frustration was a lot of fun. And it wasn’t hurting him. Just the opposite.

He toyed around with the idea of adding a fourth finger, wondering if that might be too much before he had an idea.

He grabbed the vial of oil again, and removed one finger, and then stretched him open and poured some oil inside of him.

Merlin saw Artemis grab and pull at a pillow, his mouth hanging open like he wasn’t sure what to do as the oil went inside. 

“You alright, love?” Merlin decided to double-check. Artemis nodded quickly, his sides heaving with every breath.

“Good. Can I try a fourth finger? Is that ok?” Again, Artemis gave his consent, and Merlin went for it.

He had no clue how long he had been stretching him out for, but Artemis was completely wrecked already. He was panting and wordlessly begging for Merlin to just put it in already.

Merlin pulled out his fingers, and carefully pushed his cock in. Oil as lubricant was definitely interesting feeling.

Artemis was hot as always, and he had his face pressed against the pillow, looking left, his eyes half-shut from the feeling of Merlin  _ finally  _ being in him.

Merlin was determined to last as long as he could inside of Artemis. He wanted Artemis to be thoroughly satisfied and exhausted by the time they were done. He kept long, steady strokes, making Artemis strain and arch from the sensation.

Merlin kept it up for a few more minutes before he felt Artemis reach back and desperately slap at his right leg. Merlin stopped at once, pulling out. “What’s wrong?”

Artemis straightened up and picked up the pillow. He turned to face Merlin, giving him an indiscernible look before laying back down, this time on his back, putting the pillow underneath his lower back, and spreading his legs, indicating to Merlin to slide back in. 

Merlin hesitated. Anytime Artemis had tried to do anything intimate on his back, he would have what Merlin thought of as a panic attack. Merlin had previously asked and received confirmation from Artemis that he was often on his back when he was being raped years ago. Merlin was worried Artemis might have another breakdown if they continued.

“.... Artemis….” Merlin began, “I don’t think this is a good idea…”

Artemis looked determined, spreading his legs wider and watching Merlin.

Merlin took a deep breath, and verrry slowly and gently pushed his cock back in.

Artemis gasped, but it sounded like a good gasp. Merlin, even slower than before, steadily slid in and out.

The whole time, he’s watching Artemis, who didn’t seem scared or even excited like he was a few minutes ago. He looked like he was concentrating, sometimes looking around the room, or watching Merlin for a few seconds, and once in awhile looking up at the ceiling. Merlin watched his throat jerk when he would swallow.

“If you need me to stop, don’t hesitate to tell me.” Merlin assured him softly. “I know this can’t be easy for you.”

At hearing this, Artemis looked at Merlin intently, like he was taking in every inch of his face. He sucked in a deep breath and took Merlin’s hand, holding it while Merlin gently thrusted into him.

After a few more minutes, Artemis seemed to relax further, still holding Merlin’s hand. Merlin sped up a little, taking in the sight of Artemis.

He took in the sweat-dampened roots of Artemis’ hair, his free hand draped across his own stomach, the fine, dark hairs forming a line on his stomach leading down to his groin. He looked completely radiant in the moonlight, getting more and more at ease.

At Artemis’ relaxed state, Merlin started to enjoy himself more. He switched angles, pushing one of Artemis’ legs up a bit to give himself more room to thrust.

Artemis stretched out and finally started touching his own cock, his eyes flickering all over Merlin’s form. At the sight of Artemis’ lightly stroking himself, Merlin said, “You have no idea how amazing and gorgeous you look right now. You’re so damn perfect, Artemis.” The words fell right out of his mouth, breaking the comfortable silence in the room.

Artemis smiled shyly when he said that, looking away for a second and nipping his own lip like Merlin’s words flustered him.

Without warning, not even a minute later, Artemis came. He even looked surprised by it when it happened. His seed coated his stomach and, if possible, made him look even more attractive and desirable.

Merlin determinedly kept up his strokes, wanting to finish so he could cuddle with Artemis soon.

He watched as Artemis lazily dragged a finger through his own seed and raised up to offer it to Merlin. Merlin gladly took his finger in his mouth and sucked it all off. Artemis smiled, glancing down and briefly watching Merlin’s cock move in and out of him before falling back to his original position.

Merlin felt everything drawing up and he knew he was close. He opened his mouth to tell Artemis but it came too fast and he sucked in a sharp breath instead, spilling into Artemis.

He closed his eyes as the pleasure went on and on, feeling Artemis clench around him.

With a contented sigh, Merlin opened his eyes, only to see the worrisome sight of Artemis looking scared, like he was trying his hardest not to freak out.

“Hey, hey, you’re okay.” Merlin hastily said reassuringly. Artemis’ stomach was contracting rapidly. He was looking all over the room and trying to calm his own breathing.

“Look at me, Artemis.” Merlin said. “It’s me. It’s only me. You’re fine. Everything is fine.”

He had learned through helping Artemis with multiple panic attacks the right things to say. Get Artemis to focus on him, remind him of where he is, repeat small comforting phrases telling him he is safe and he is okay. It tended to work most of the time to bring him down from his panicked state.

He took hold of Artemis’ hands, holding them gently in his own. “Look at me.” He said until Artemis did so. “You’re with me. Everything is okay, Artemis. You are okay.”

Merlin pulled himself out of Artemis, making him sit up so Merlin could hold him. “We don’t ever have to try that again. I don’t want you to push yourself to do anything you aren’t completely at ease with.” He told him, rubbing Artemis’ back. He was amazed Artemis had wanted to try having sex while lying on his back at all. They had never been able to in the past. The fact that Artemis insisted on it tonight was a shock. He truly seemed alright until the end; feeling Merlin cum inside of him probably triggered an episode. He felt awful for not talking Artemis out of having sex in that position.

Artemis settled down, his breathing went from sharp and quick to deep and relaxed. He returned Merlin’s embrace. When he pulled back, Merlin saw he had shed a few tears.

“You are safe.” Merlin repeated firmly. Artemis nodded his understanding. “You will always be safe with me. I will  _ never  _ ever hurt you.” Artemis grabbed his hands and squeezed before standing up shakily. 

Merlin grabbed a wet rag and helped clean him up as delicately as he could. Then he cleaned himself up, tossing the rag back in the bucket.

He made the bed for Artemis. He let Artemis in first, then laid down beside him and wrapped him in his arms, holding him tight until Artemis squirmed.

They laid awake in silence for quite a while until Merlin felt Artemis drift off to sleep, lightly embraced in his arms.

******************************************************************************

THREE DAYS LATER

Merlin was tossing old broken branches onto a pile on the edge of the forest. There had been a terrible storm the previous night. Broken branches and leaves were everywhere. The ground was still soaking wet because the sun hadn’t come out yet to dry anything up. So most of the servants and some of the town members were gathering all of the sticks and branches up and tossing them onto piles to be burned for firewood later when they dried.

Personally, he thought it was ridiculous that he, as the prince’s personal manservant, was told to help gather as well. He was pretty sure Arthur ordered him to do so out of spite.

He tossed, more like heaved, a very large branch onto the pile. 

“Hello.”

Merlin whirled around. Robin was just standing there, looking at him. “Oh. Hi. How have you been?” Merlin asked, trying to act nonchalant. He hadn’t seen Robin since he left his and Gaius’ care. And now here he was. Merlin looked him over quickly. He didn’t see any noticeable injuries or damage.

Robin shrugged. “Could be better. Can we talk?”

Merlin blinked. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

“Right now.” It wasn’t even a question.

“... Sure.” Merlin said.

“Let’s go into the woods.” Robin strode past him, towards the forest.

Merlin followed him quite a distance. He didn’t want to admit it, but Robin was making him just a bit nervous. He came out of nowhere, demanded to speak with Merlin, and now was taking him further and further into the woods. Merlin was just glad he had magic to defend himself if this went south.

Robin finally stopped in the middle of a clearing and sat down. He patted the ground in front of him.

Merlin sat, and immediately cringed at the wetness seeping into his breeches.

“What’s going on, Robin?” He asked.

“I love someone.”

“Oh…”

“But they don’t love me back.”

“That’s… always unfortunate.” He remembered having a conversation eerily similar to this when he was 13 with a girl in his village. It was just as weird then as it was now.

Robin went silent for a minute. He tossed a wet leaf. “They’ll never love me the way I love them.” He said quietly.

“I’m really sorry, Robin.” Merlin meant it. “I’ve had crushes in the past that didn’t work out. It never gets any easier. But you’ll find someone one day. Someone who you will love who will love you back.”

“Like you and Artemis.” Robin said bluntly.

“I- No. Uh. Not like-” Merlin felt his heart race as he tried to form a sentence.

Robin waved a hand. “Someone told me and Artemis confirmed it.”

Merlin actually got a little mad at hearing that, amidst the shock of hearing that Robin knew about them. Artemis should have denied it if he was asked. He would need to gently remind Artemis tonight that he needed to deny any relationship he had with Merlin if confronted. It was too dangerous not to. “I see.”

“I honestly couldn’t care less.” Robin continued. “He’s kind of cute in a plain way.”

Merlin didn’t know what to say to that.

“Anyway,” Robin went on, “I figure… you have that secret, which is actually pretty serious. So I don’t mind if you have a little dirt on me.”

“I don’t think you having an unrequited crush on someone is  _ quite  _ the same, but okay.”

“It’s a man.”

“.... Oh…  _ ohhh _ .” Merlin swallowed. “I see now.” He never would have guessed.

“I need your advice.”

“I don’t have a lot of advice to give you. Either they like you back or they don’t.”

“It isn’t as simple as that.” Robin snapped. Then he composed himself. “This person… they’ll… they’ll do  _ some  _ things with me.”

“Uh huh.”

“And then refuse to go any further.”

“Well, everyone has boundaries. You have to respect that.”

“No, I mean like…” Robin ground his teeth for a second like he was reluctant to admit something. “They will kiss me. And it’s great. And… and then… I’ll ask to spend the night or do… more intimate activities. And he’ll get mad. And he says he’s not like me.”

“What does he mean by that?”

“He says I’m disgusting for liking men.” Robin ducked his head down in shame. “He says I’m a degenerate.”

“Robin, that’s  _ not  _ true.” Merlin insisted. “You can’t help who you love.”

“I know. It just hurts.”

“Wait.” Merlin tried to process something. “He will kiss you? But then refuse to go any further because...?”

“Because he says he doesn’t ‘debase’ himself with men.”

“That makes no sense.” Merlin said. “If he says he’s ‘not like you’ and won’t ‘debase’ himself, but will still kiss you, it sounds like he  _ is  _ attracted to you, or at least other men in general, and he’s just working through some self-hatred.”

“Should I… Should I keep trying?” Robin looked hopeful.

“In all honesty, no.” Merlin said truthfully. “It sounds like a terrible situation. Why would you want to be with someone like that? I would never stay in that situation.”

Robin looked ashamed. “I really do like him.” He muttered.

“Yeah, I can understand that.” Merlin said sympathetically. “But I also know that everyone deserves someone who makes them happy and cherishes them. If he’s saying those things to you, it’s not healthy. It’s not alright. You deserve better.”

Robin was quiet for a long time. “I don’t know what to do.” He admitted.

“Cut the cord. It won’t be easy. But you really deserve better.”

“I don’t think I can do that…” Robin said slowly.

“It just takes emotional strength.” Merlin knew he was making it sound a little too easy. “When you build up the courage and emotional strength, I know you can do it.”

“I  _ really  _ don’t think I can.” Robin insisted. “I don’t think he’ll let me.”

He froze like he went too far. Merlin considered him carefully. “Robin,” he said gently, “What do you mean by ‘he won’t let you’?”

Robin didn’t reply.

“Is everything alright with you?”

Robin didn’t look at him, standing up and uselessly brushing off his clothes. “I have chores to get done.” He said abruptly. “I have to go.”

“Robin-”

“Stop.” He snapped. “I don’t need anymore advice from you.”

Merlin wanted to insist that he stay and tell him exactly what was going on, but he made himself stop. With great effort, he instead said, “Whenever you need me, I’ll always be willing to listen.”

Robin paused for half a second before walking past him without another word.

Merlin waited several minutes by himself in the forest before heading back. He knew Robin needed more help. Whatever situation he was trapped in, it wasn’t good. Merlin was going to be there for him whenever he needed it until Robin was safe and happy.


	15. Chapter 15

Merlin wished he had more afternoons like this with Artemis.

He was sent to gather up certain plants so Gaius could restock his medicine shelf. Summer was ending and people tended to get sick as it got colder.

Artemis was free for a few hours so he went into the woods with Merlin, bringing along his satchel with paper and writing supplies. He seemed happy to trot behind Merlin while he used Gaius’ reference drawings to find the plants needed. Merlin planned on stopping at some point so Artemis could sit and draw.

Merlin figured out that Artemis would draw pictures of things he didn’t know how to spell the name of and Geoffrey would write the name of it for him during their lessons. He also had a reference guide of the alphabet back in their room.

Looking at the literacy assignments, Merlin was incredibly glad that he had learned to read as a child. Learning how to as an adult looked tedious and boring.

Merlin felt Artemis tap his shoulder and he turned around. Artemis had a flower in his hand and he tucked it behind Merlin’s ear. Merlin felt his heart flutter like he was a boy with a crush again. “Thank you, Artemis.” He gave him a quick kiss.

Merlin decided to take a break in a clearing so Artemis could sit down and start drawing. He was also tired of bending over to examine and pluck plants.

Merlin stretched out on his back, and blinked up at the sky through the trees. The sound of Artemis drawing on paper was pleasant to listen to.

“I haven’t seen Robin in a few days.” Merlin said suddenly. Artemis knew what Robin had admitted to Merlin. He didn’t react much when Merlin told him. Not even to the part where Robin admitted to liking men. Maybe Artemis already knew.

“I hope he’s okay.” Merlin continued. “I can’t understand being in love with someone who constantly degrades you. How do you even begin to develop feelings for someone like that?”

Artemis shrugged, continuing to draw.

“He mentioned that he didn’t think the man he likes would ‘let him leave’. But Robin said before that his feelings were unrequited. That the man didn’t like him back. So what is there to ‘leave’? There’s no relationship there.”

Artemis paused briefly before sketching again. Merlin looked over. “Do you know anything?”

Artemis glanced at him, hesitating before shaking his head. Merlin narrowed his eyes a little. He suspected that was a lie.

“Has Robin said anything to you? Do you know who this person he likes might be?”

Artemis was now completely ignoring him. It made Merlin a bit angry but he pushed it down. “You certainly like your secrets, Artemis.” Merlin noted, trying not to sound peeved. “I wish you were less reluctant to share things with me. If you know who Robin is with, I don’t see why you wouldn’t tell me.”

Artemis bristled up and tensed his jaw. The sound of him drawing sounded angrier.

It unsettled Merlin so he dropped it. “Sorry. I know I push too hard.” He said halfheartedly.

There was an awkward silence. Merlin decided to sit up and look around.

He hadn’t noticed before how beautiful this clearing was. The trees surrounding it were enormous. There were small blue and purple flowers everywhere. He could hear a stream nearby. He imagined a small cabin would look nice here. He could imagine waking up to all the birds and walking out to listen to the trickling of the stream in the early morning. He couldn’t help but picture Artemis beside him. They could be intimate without worrying about people catching them all the time.

Merlin hated his destiny more and more everyday. He felt like he was barely doing anything to shape Arthur into the great king he was supposed to be one day. Arthur was a spoiled, selfish prat. Merlin didn’t see how he was supposed to change all that.

He would love to just quit his supposed destiny and live his life however he wanted. He could finish his apprenticeship with Gaius and start a life somewhere. He and Artemis could live in a nice place out in the woods like this and go into town a few times a week for supplies. It would be so quiet and peaceful.

But instead he lived in a tiny room, working for a spoiled prince who regularly insulted him. And when he wasn’t running back and forth for Arthur, he was doing things for Gaius. He was so tired of it already. He wondered what the dragon under the castle would do or say if he just quit everything, took Artemis, and left.

Merlin wondered if Artemis would like to live with him and be with him for the foreseeable future.

He wondered if Artemis would hate him if he found out that Merlin had magic. The thought made him sad, so he stopped himself from thinking about it.

Gaius would probably be upset. He’d probably go looking for Merlin if he left.

Merlin took the flower out from behind his ear and looked at it. Was Artemis as serious about him as Merlin was towards Artemis? He really hoped so.

“I like it here.” Merlin said. Artemis was still ignoring him, it would seem.

“I could live here.” Merlin went on. “Couldn’t you?”

Artemis looked around, looking like he was contemplating it. He ended up nodding.

“We could find or build a little cabin and just relax for days and weeks on end.” Merlin hadn’t intended to use the word ‘we’, but it slipped out anyway.

It took Artemis a minute to realize what he’d said. He looked at Merlin sharply like he was trying to figure out if he heard him right. Then he smiled a little, like he was thinking about it.

Merlin scooted closer to him and put the flower behind Artemis’ ear and then kissed his cheek. “I would love that for us.” He said quietly. It made him feel vulnerable to admit his innocent fantasy to Artemis, but maybe it was okay to say these kinds of things out loud sometimes.

Artemis touched the flower and then smiled at Merlin again. He then looked down at the paper he had been drawing on and frowned. He quickly rolled it up before Merlin could look at it and put it in the satchel. Merlin was puzzled until Artemis gave him a quick kiss and then a hug before standing up, indicating that they should probably keep moving on. Merlin still had several plants to find.

Merlin wasn’t sure how to take Artemis’ reaction to his admission. It wasn’t like Artemis rejected the idea. He seemed happy when Merlin said it. But the way he packed all his things away and pretty much changed the conversation was odd.

Merlin decided to not bring it up again. He was trying his best not to be too pushy with people anymore.

******************************************************************************

Robin needed someone to talk to desperately about his situation with Arthur, before he could chicken out. He’d heard Merlin was down in the stables so he headed there first.

He walked into one of the stables, seeing Merlin and Artemis together. Artemis was brushing down a horse and Merlin was hanging up the saddle and harness.

Artemis spotted him first. He very nearly scowled at him. Robin felt his stomach knot up. He hated that Artemis knew about him and the prince.

Merlin turned around and saw Robin. “Hi.” He said, “Did you need something?”

“Do you just work everywhere?” Robin didn’t mean to sound rude out of nowhere. It just happened when he was upset about something.

Merlin looked taken aback but he kept a friendly tone. “I’m helping Artemis for a bit. Some other workers are sick.”

“Okay.” Robin said. He looked over at Artemis, who was now brushing out the horse’s tail and not looking at Robin.

“I need to talk to you.”

“About?”

“About… you know. What I told you about before.”

“Oh. I’m busy pretty much all day. Don’t think it’s something you want to talk about in the open, is it?”

“No. It really isn’t.”

“Can we talk tonight?”

“No. I’m busy.”

“Like, after people have gone to bed, I mean.”

“I said I’m busy.” Robin snapped. Merlin didn’t look quite as friendly and willing to help as before. Robin backtracked, feeling bad as soon as he snapped. “I’m sorry. Can we meet early tomorrow morning instead?”

“Sure. Where do you want to meet?”

They decided on one of the empty rooms in the eastern tower. No one ever went up there. There was barely even any storage in there.

“Are you going to bring Artemis with you?” Robin asked.

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Merlin looked at Artemis, who seemed more annoyed the longer Robin was there. “Do you want him to come along?”

Robin may not have liked the fact that Artemis knew about them, but he hated even more that Artemis hated him just because he knew what he and Arthur did together. Robin would rather he were there to hear Robin’s side rather than just despise him.

“Yeah. He can come.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. We’ll see you tomorrow morning , I guess.” Merlin said.

Robin nodded. “See you. Um. Thanks. For being willing to meet with me.”

“It’s no problem.”

Robin turned and left. Part of him wanted to go back in a cancel the meeting already. The other part of him forced him to keep walking. He knew he needed to tell somebody his issues. Merlin was the only person he knew that seemed like he could help.

******************************************************************************

Robin was so nervous thinking about the next morning that he could barely enjoy his time with Arthur. The prince had drank two cups of wine during their time, so he was a little easier to talk to.

Robin wasn’t sure how much he trusted a tipsy person to carve into his skin with a blade, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Arthur dug a little too deep, but his lines were clean and surprisingly even.

Every night, since they started using the blade, Robin dreaded beginning the session, and was always surprised by how his pain and pleasure mingled together perfectly. If he didn’t cum during it, he was painfully aroused by the end.

Arthur helped him wrap up the new wound on his thigh. Robin would have to re-count to make sure, but he was pretty certain this was his tenth ‘piece of art’, as Arthur called it. None of them had scarred yet. The oldest one was a little over a week old.

“I gave you a star this time.” Arthur said. “It has 8 points.”

“Does it mean anything?” Arthur’s ‘art’ on his skin often did.

“No. I just thought it would look nice.” Arthur poured himself a third cup of wine, sipping at it leisurely while he stared at Robin’s form on the bed.

Robin had never seen Arthur when he’d had more than one cup of wine. He seemed more open and easier to talk to.

“Can I ask you something, sire?”

“Go ahead.” Arthur sat at the foot of the bed.

“Am I the first person you’ve ever done things like this with?”

“Pretty sure I’ve said in the past that I can’t risk dragging random servants into my chambers.” Arthur reminded him. “I told you before. I got lucky when I picked you.”

“Was there anything special about me that caught your eye?”

Arthur considered that. He looked hard at Robin, taking in every part of him.

“You look like Merlin.” He answered at last.

Of all the answers Arthur could have given, Robin did not expect that one. “I- I do?”

“Well kind of.” Arthur clarified. “Not twins. Maybe brothers. You are a similar height. Same dark hair, blue eyes. At least you don’t wear a ridiculous scarf everywhere.”

“You and Merlin….?” Robin didn’t want to ask.

“Me and Merlin, what?”

“Were you intimate together?” Robin managed to ask.

“Gods, no.” Arthur looked appalled at the question. Robin relaxed. “Well,” the prince continued. “There was a time… I thought I could be.”

Robin was about to ask him about his entire ‘I don’t debase myself with men’ spiel, but he didn’t. “Did you make an advance?”

“No. It was tempting. Especially after I caught him and Artemis together several times. But I held off. And the feeling died away. And then I saw you and decided, close enough.”

“You chose me because I look similar to him? That’s all?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Either your ears are clogged or you have poor memory. Yes, initially that’s why I was drawn to you. I would consider you more attractive, however. You aren’t gangly. You have normal ears. His kind of,” Arthur gestured towards his own head, “stick out, you know. Also, I  _ know  _ he gets sun, but that boy just  _ will not  _ tan. It’s weird.”

“I’m more attractive?” Robin couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He decided that he liked tipsy Arthur.

“Well I’m with you and not him, aren’t I?” Arthur retorted. “Also, pretty sure he would never have gone for all… this.” Arthur gestured vaguely towards Robin’s bruises and wounds. “Couldn’t have risked him tattling on me.”

“I’m glad you chose me.” Robin said. He meant it wholeheartedly. The actual prince of Camelot had him in his chambers every night. He called Robin attractive. He sought him out when Robin was in the physician’s chambers and claimed him permanently the night he was back.

Despite knowing that their relationship wasn’t normal, and despite wanting more affections, Robin loved being with the prince.

Arthur finished his wine. He was definitely feeling the effects. He set the cup on the ground clumsily and crawled up next to Robin. “Also there was Artemis.”

“What?”

“Merlin has Artemis. Doubt he would have abandoned him for me.”

“Oh.”

“But you seem to appreciate what I give you. To hell with Merlin anyway.”

Robin laughed at his blunt words. “You said before that you caught them together?”

“Yeah. Several times.”

“Why didn’t you report it? Since it’s technically illegal and you are the prince.”

Arthur thought about it. “Didn’t care about that part, I guess. It was fascinating to watch them together. Artemis is such a little whore.”

“Really?” Robin assumed Artemis would be… whatever the opposite of a whore is.

“He is.” Arthur nodded. “I think that’s why Merlin keeps him around. Hard to find people like that.”

“Do you think they are in love?”

“How much in love can one be with a mute, plain, short boy like that?” Arthur scoffed. “Merlin will tire of him eventually, I’m sure. He’s not that special.”

“Do you think Artemis loves Merlin, then?”

“I don’t know. How could one even tell? He’s mute.” Arthur sounded bitter. “It’s a fling. They will tire of each other.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Robin knew he was annoying Arthur when the prince gave him a look. “I just am.” He snapped.

The wine only worked to a certain point, Robin sighed. He thought about offering him another cup.

Then Arthur kissed him. And again. And again. Until he was straddling Robin and grabbing his wrists above his head, deepening the kiss.

Robin felt his heart pound. It was like when Arthur found him recovering in the physician’s room, only better. He eagerly returned the kisses.

Arthur broke the kiss. His face was flushed, and not just from the wine. “You’re the special one.” He said, out of breath. “You’re the one I wanted from the beginning.”

Robin eagerly accepted his kiss when Arthur went in again. When Arthur started pressing his clothed arousal against Robin’s bare one, it made Robin arch up in anticipation. “Yes, sire.” He gasped out. “Please.” He wanted Arthur so bad it physically hurt.

Arthur kissed his neck feverishly, biting the delicate skin and sucking at it hard. Robin was too far gone to care. He felt Arthur tighten his grip on his wrists and he gasped in delight at the feeling.

Arthur got off only to take off his clothes. Then he was right back on top of Robin. The instant their cocks brushed, they both groaned. Arthur moved his hips to slide them against each other repeatedly. Robin couldn’t believe how good it felt.

Arthur slid off and forced Robin to sit up. “Here.” He said breathlessly, holding his own cock. “Suck it.”

Robin wasted no time. He’d never done this before, but he was desperate to please his prince.

Arthur’s cock was warm in his mouth. It tasted salty. Robin was practically drooling at the feeling of it in his mouth. He sucked and wiggled his tongue around, trying to take it all at once.

“Move your head a bit.” He heard Arthur say. Robin did so, making obscene slurping noises.

He was taken aback when he felt Arthur push him off. “Enough of that.” He said. He sounded pissed. “You’re terrible.”

Robin wiped his mouth. “I can be better. It’s just that I've never done it before.”

“No kidding.” Arthur said mockingly. Robin felt his heart plummet. The other side of Arthur had come out again.

“Can I try again?”

“No.”

“Can we-” Robin straightened up and crossed his legs, trying his best to look seductive, despite his hurt feelings. “I’d like to try something else maybe.”

“Like what?”

“You could deflower me.” Robin suggested softly, his hands folded in his lap. He tilted his head to one side to look coy.

Arthur’s upper lip curled and Robin saw his hand a split second before it hit his face. The hit stung and burned.

“I really believe that you must be entirely stupid to suggest that after I’ve told you repeatedly I’m not like you.” Arthur raised his voice at him. Robin flinched. “I will  _ never  _ do that with you. Do you understand me?”

“I do.”

“Put on your clothes. Get out. You’ve ruined another evening.” Arthur put back on his own clothes as Robin shakily got dressed. He couldn’t stop the tears. He was shaking from the effort of trying to.

“Tomorrow night, if you behave yourself, you can come back.” Arthur told him. “But if you suggest it even one more time after tonight, we’re done for good.”

“No, sire.” The thought was unbearable. “Forgive me, please. I didn’t mean it.”

“You have one more chance. That’s it.” Arthur reiterated. “Don’t blow it.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Get out!” Arthur grabbed his arm and shoved him towards the door.

Robin kept his hand clasped over his mouth as he walked through the halls to the servant’s quarters to keep his sobs quiet. He was so stupid for suggesting that, he told himself. When would he learn that Arthur wouldn’t go for it? If he lost out on the privilege of meeting with the prince every night, he would never forgive himself.

******************************************************************************

Artemis was with Merlin in the tower room, waiting for Robin to show up. Merlin had brought them fruit from the kitchen, and Artemis was enjoying one of the apples while Merlin picked at the grapes.

Merlin was glad Artemis wanted to show up with him. The promise of Merlin getting him breakfast probably helped.

They only had to wait a half an hour before Robin showed up. He didn’t look too good, like he had barely slept.

“Morning,” Merlin greeted him. “Want some fruit?”

Robin shuffled over to them, sitting cross-legged in front of the selection of fruit. He picked up an apple and looked at it before setting it back down.

“What did you want to talk about?” Merlin asked.

Robin looked at Artemis first, but it was like he wasn’t really seeing him. Artemis shifted and looked at Merlin uneasily.

“Robin.” Merlin brought the attention back to himself. “Is everything okay?”

Robin shook his head.

“We’re here to listen whenever you feel ready.” Merlin assured him.

“I hate myself.” Robin sounded ragged.

Merlin blinked. Off to a rough start. “Why?”

“Because.” Robin put his head in his hands.

Merlin waited patiently for him to continue. He looked at Artemis, who seemed concerned for Robin.

“I don’t really know what to say.” Robin said after a minute. “I feel like I should get it all out, but I don’t know where to begin.”

“Take your time.” Merlin encouraged. “Does it have something to do with the man you like?”

Robin nodded, looking miserable.

“Is it something that happened recently?”

“Sort of. But not really.”

“Well... alright.” Merlin said.

“I- I met this man.” Robin began. “And apparently I reminded him of someone. So he invited me to his room.”

“Alright.”

Robin squirmed. “I don’t think I can tell you this…” He hesitated.

“Robin,” Merlin said gently, “nothing you say will make me not want to help you, or think any less of you. You have my word.”

Robin took a deep breath. “He invited me to his room. And then he kissed me. Out of nowhere.”

Merlin knew there had to be more than that. “Did that bother you?”

“No. I liked it. He’s… very attractive.”

“So this man invited you to his place, and kissed you? Had you met him before?”

“Not really. Just seen him about.”

“Did it scare you at all?”

“Just shocked me.”

“Then what happened?”

Robin put his knees up to his chest. “He took his belt. And…” Robin swallowed hard. “He hit me with it.”

Of all the things Robin could have said that the man did, this was not one that Merlin expected to hear. He looked at Artemis for a moment to gauge his reaction. Artemis didn’t look as surprised.

“Why would he do that?”

Robin took another breath, this one shakier. “He kept doing it.” He seemed to be ignoring Merlin’s question. “Until he was satisfied.”

“He took you into his place and then he beat you?” Robin lowered his head and nodded.

Merlin felt a rage build up in him. He heard Artemis shift and turned his attention to him. “Artemis, do you need to leave?” He didn’t want him to be triggered by Robin’s story. He had no clue it would take this turn.

Artemis seemed uneasy but stayed.

“Robin, I’m so sorry.” Merlin reached out and touched his hand. He fully expected Robin to pull his hand back but he didn’t. “He was the reason why you had those welts, wasn’t he?”

“Yes.” Robin took a shaky breath. “But there’s more.”

“I’m listening.”

“It’s been going on for… for quite a few weeks now.”

Merlin wasn’t sure if he was understanding him correctly. “You mean to say he’s been abusing you for weeks?”

At Merlin’s question, Robin burst into tears. He put his face in his hands and drew his knees to his chest. Merlin couldn’t help but go over to comfort him. He rubbed his back in circles, like he did with Artemis when he was upset. “It’s okay.” He reassured him. “Cry as long as you need to.”

Artemis, who had looked fairly neutral towards Robin’s story until now, looked sympathetic.

Robin was convulsing with each sob. “I know it’s wrong, but I can’t seem to stop.” He managed to say, his words stilted and uneven.

Merlin felt like he was being handed random bits of a long story out of order. “Robin, what do you mean?”

And between the shakes and sobs, Robin poured out everything to Merlin, who listened in dismay and sometimes horror. He listened as Robin told him that he had never received much attention before, and this was the first man to give him what he wanted. Robin’s face burned red with shame when he admitted that he enjoyed the pain, and it was his own fault it had gotten to this point. He said that he wanted it to stop, but he also never wanted it to end. He said that the man often went too far, and didn’t listen when Robin wanted to stop.

Robin confessed his feelings for this man, and the way the man mocked his feelings and seemed to string him along.

Then he told Merlin what had happened last night. Robin was kicked out for suggesting sex after this man had been perfectly willing to do sexual things up to that point.

“H-he forgave me. He’s giving me one more chance. I’m so scared I’m going to blow it again. I love him so much, and I hate myself for it. I don’t want him to hate me. I fear everyday that he might replace me with someone else. I couldn’t stand it if he wasn’t just with me. I’ve never felt special before. He makes me feel wanted and if it stopped, I don’t know what I would do.” Robin’s torrent of words finally stopped. He hiccuped as Merlin wrapped his arms around his trembling form, trying to think of something to say, of where to begin.

Merlin focussed in on Artemis, who looked as lost as Merlin felt. Merlin had never encountered anything like what Robin was going through.

“Robin,” he began hesitantly, “I need you to understand that what he’s doing to you is abuse. Pure and simple.”

“But part of me enjoys it.” Robin reminded him so quietly that Merlin barely heard him.

“You admitted he takes it too far, and he doesn’t listen to you.” Merlin said gently. “And I’m not just talking about physical abuse. He has you so confused that you’re blaming yourself because he chose you to be his outlet for his own perversions. He has you hating yourself, Robin. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and feel special. There’s nothing wrong with you falling in love with a man, generally. But he has you hating yourself over it. That’s not okay.”

“What about-” Robin tried to wipe some of his tears away, “What about the fact that I keep coming back every night when I know how he’s going to treat me? What’s wrong with me if I like it when he hits me?”

Merlin tried to choose his words carefully. Robin was definitely a special case. He’d never encountered someone who actually got off on being hurt. “Well…. we all have our fetishes, I guess.” He saw Artemis raise his eyebrows at his words and then give Merlin a weird look. “Um. But I feel like a partner shouldn’t ignore you when you say you’ve had enough. I think you need to find someone who will listen to your wants and concerns.”

“I’ll never find anyone.” Robin said miserably. “This person is the first person to give me a second glance. He tells me I’m perfect.”

“He also struck you when you suggested having sex.” Merlin reminded him. “That’s not okay. When you really love someone, you don’t treat them like he treats you.”

Merlin paused and looked over at Artemis. “Artemis and I have been together for a few months now. I like to think we have a good, healthy relationship.” Artemis smiled softly at him. “There’s no part of me that could  _ ever  _ make me speak to him the way this man speaks to you. I listen to Artemis. I listen to him when he’s uncomfortable with something or has had enough. I feel like that’s kind of the basic foundation for a healthy relationship, no matter what kind of things you might like to do in your private time.”

Robin’s sniffles were dying down. Merlin realized he was still embracing him and he pulled away.

“I know I’ll be back tonight. Right back to him.” Robin admitted.

“You don’t have to.”

“He’ll be angry. He’ll go looking for me.”

“What do you think he’d do to you?” Merlin hated this person more the longer they spoke about him.

“I’m not sure. I’m afraid of what he might be capable of.” Robin said dully.

“You don’t think you could cut the cord with him without him retaliating?”

“I don’t think so.”

Merlin sat back and thought for a bit. “You don’t think he’d actually… like…. kill you? Do you?”

Robin looked at him in alarm. “Gods no! I hope not. But he could do other things to me.”

“I see.” Merlin chewed the inside of his lower lip. “Well, can you meet somewhere in the open and cut ties? With people around, he’s less likely to lash out.”

“Maybe…” Robin looked uncertain.

“I could be there with you.”

“No, I don’t think so.” Merlin thought he saw Robin look at Artemis for a second and then look away. “You don’t need to meet him.”

“I can respect that.” Merlin conceded.

Robin picked up the apple again and this time took a bite. It made Merlin feel a bit happier for him. He didn’t look as dejected.

“You don’t have to go back to him.” Merlin said softly. “I believe you can cut ties with him.”

“I want to.”

“And you can. And if you ever need help, I’m here for you. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

******************************************************************************

Robin ended up right back with Arthur that very night. He hated himself through every lash with the belt, every cry he uttered in pleasure, every kiss he eagerly received, during the quiet as he put his clothes back on and left when Arthr told him to, and during the sullen walk to the servants quarters.

He refused to cry. He refused to feel sorry for himself. He was disgusting and stupid for going to Arthur again. Merlin would probably hate him if he found out that Robin was too weak to cut ties with Arthur. He’d be annoyed that he spent the time and effort hearing Robin out and Robin was just too stupid to listen to him and went back anyway.

And Artemis knew who Robin was talking about during his story. He saw the looks Artemis gave him. Artemis hated him. He could tell. 

His back throbbed from being hit with Arthur’s belt. He liked that it ached and he hated that he liked it. He hated that he knew he’d be back with Arthur the next night too. And the next. For the foreseeable future, he’d be in Arthur’s chambers, being struck, being mocked, and still hoping against all hope that Arthur would love him back one day, and knowing that the prince never would.


	16. Chapter 16

It was one of those ‘I can’t keep my hands off you’ days for Artemis, Merlin figured out.

Artemis wrote a note to him at breakfast that Merlin deciphered to say that he wanted to have lunch with Merlin at noon in the forest. Merlin offered to bring the food if Artemis provided the blanket.

Merlin completed his chores for Arthur in record time that morning, and Arthur couldn’t think of anything else he needed him for so he let him go until he needed him to be there during his knight’s training in the late afternoon.

Artemis and Merlin found a perfect spot in the forest and spread out the food and blanket and began eating.

Artemis could barely eat for trying to nuzzle and get as close as possible to Merlin. Merlin struck up a compromise and let Artemis sit between his legs, with Artemis’ back against Merlin’s chest.

Merlin pet Artemis’ thick hair with one hand as he ate his lunch with the other. “You’re very warm,” he informed Artemis. “It feels nice during colder days like this.”

The weather had changed from sunny and warm to chilly and windy fairly quickly. Autumn was wasting no time, it would appear.

Artemis gulped his water and reached into the bag of food and pulled out the large wedge of cheese that Merlin had packed just for him. Artemis held the cheese in one hand and took comically large bites of it every couple of minutes, while Merlin tore off bits of chicken and wrapped his left arm around Artemis’ waist as they finished their meal.

Merlin kept feeling something odd about the spot they chose. He would peek around occasionally; maybe someone was watching them? But there was never anyone there. His skin would prickle and he’d get uneasy. He would feel his magic inside stirring, like a snake uncoiling itself and trying to stretch out. He would push it down and fight to clear his head.

Artemis didn’t seem to notice anything odd. He finished his cheese wedge, and took a few more gulps of water. Merlin, trying to keep himself distracted, gave him a kiss on the neck and nuzzled him, making Artemis squirm.

After they finished eating, Merlin packed up the food leftovers, leaving the chicken bones on the ground, naturally. No point in carrying back bones just to toss away when they got back into town.

Artemis pulled him down for a kiss after they stood up. Merlin, not wanting to let Artemis know how ‘off’ he felt, tried to match his enthusiasm as he returned the kiss.

**_No one is here,_ ** Merlin thought to himself over and over as they made out in the middle of the woods.  **_No one is watching. You’re being paranoid_ ** **.**

Artemis, being uncharacteristically bold, gently pushed him back until Merlin’s back was against a tree. They never broke their kiss until Artemis pulled away for a breath, resting his head onto Merlin’s chest.

Merlin’s heart started pounding, and not because of how amazingly brazen Artemis was being today. His magic started reaching out again as he fought to keep it still.

He felt Artemis slowly and deliberately reach into his breeches. He looked at him. Artemis was silently asking for permission as he paused.

“Go ahead.” Merlin encouraged. He really needed the distraction right now.

He tried to focus on how good it felt as Artemis wrapped his warm hand around his cock and slowly worked it up and down. Merlin loosened up his drawstring to give him more room.

Merlin closed his eyes, trying to keep his attention on how good Artemis was at this, the sound of their breathing mingling together, Artemis quietly taking Merlin’s hand and placing it over his breeches, letting Merlin cup Artemis’ arousal…

He opened his eyes for a moment. Artemis’ gaze was intently on his face, like he was trying to memorize every inch. His gorgeous dark brown eyes lingered on Merlin’s mouth for a second before he leaned in for another kiss.

Artemis sped up his careful movements, causing Merlin to uncontrollably arch towards him. He quickly undid the rest of his laces, freeing his arousal and he was cumming under Artemis’ skillful touch a few minutes later.

Artemis licked the seed off of his own hand while Merlin went to grab a cloth napkin from their lunch and clean the rest of himself. He tossed the cloth back into the basket and laced his breeches back up.

“Amazing as always, Artemis.” Merlin praised him.

Artemis smirked at him, his hand now licked clean. 

“I’ll do you now.” Merlin offered. Artemis shook his head like he wasn’t interested.

“Tonight then, maybe.” Merlin said. Artemis acted like that was better.

Now that the fun was over, Merlin was plagued with his previous unsettled feeling. He sighed in annoyance. “Let’s head back, love.” He said.

Artemis rejected that idea, instead walking a little ways past the tree he’d just had Merlin pressed up against, the opposite of the direction they’d come from.

If he wanted to take a walk, that was fine with Merlin. As long as it was far enough away so Merlin could stop feeling paranoid and fighting off his magic.

“I’ll catch up, love.” Merlin said, bending over to grab their skeins of water. He put it in the basket and then picked it up. He looked over at Artemis, who was leisurely walking further into the woods.

Merlin started walking towards him. Artemis passed by a large tree, walking behind it, going out of sight. Merlin heard a gasp the second he disappeared from view.

“Artemis?” He called, jogging to catch up.

In the few seconds it took for Merlin to get to him, a thousand terrible scenarios ran through Merlin’s head. When he got to Artemis, however, he was fine.

“Everything okay, Artemis?” Artemis’ face had gone white and he looked horrified.

Merlin followed his gaze. There, not 30 feet away from where they were standing, a body lay on the ground.

Merlin didn’t want to, but his physician’s assistant training took over and he went to examine the body. Maybe whoever it was was still alive.

One touch and an attempt to roll the body over onto it’s back confirmed that it was a corpse indeed. Merlin never liked being near dead bodies, he wasn’t sure if anyone did, but he looked it over anyway for signs of what killed this person.

The corpse was male. Dead for a few days. Normal clothes, like he’d been a regular peasant. No weapon on him. His throat had been cut. A small pouch was in his hands. His satchel was still on. Merlin frowned, puzzled. He peeked inside the satchel and several of the deceased’s belongings were in it.

Typically, when one is attacked or killed in the woods, it’s because someone was trying to rob them. But this person seemed to have anything worth taking still on him.

Merlin’s attention was drawn once again to the pouch clutched tightly in the corpses’ hands. The second he reached for it, his magic came alive. It became clear to Merlin all at once that  _ this  _ was the reason why he had been so uneasy and his magic was acting unruly.

Saying a quick prayer to whichever god forgave stealing from corpses, Merlin pulled it with great effort out of the deathgrip of the corpse.

He heard a shuffle and looked back to see Artemis standing uneasily by the large tree. “It’s alright, Artemis.” He said. “He’s been dead for a while.” Artemis looked nauseated. “Let’s head back.” Merlin suggested, and this time Artemis agreed. Merlin would have to let someone know he had found a body. Maybe the person had been a Camelot citizen.

Merlin stuck the pouch in his basket. It had something hard inside, but he didn’t want to peek at it just yet. He knew it was something magic by the way his own magic came alive when he held the pouch.

******************************************************************************

Merlin got to his room and shut the door behind him. Artemis, still looking ill at ease after seeing a dead body, had to return to work, so Merlin could be alone as he looked at whatever was inside the pouch.

He opened it, and pulled out a white gem. He frowned, turning it over in his hands. Merlin stared at it after a minute. His magic still thrummed through his as he held it, but it wasn’t doing anything. Maybe it was enchanted? Or was used to more easily channel magic? Merlin wondered why the man had been clutching it when he died, and why the person who killed him didn’t take it.

Merlin sighed, sticking the gem under his pillow. There was something about it. Maybe Gaius would know.

******************************************************************************

THREE DAYS LATER

Arthur found out from overhearing servant’s gossip that Artemis was taking literacy lessons.

They didn’t say his name  _ exactly _ , but hearing around that, ‘that one strange, mute stable boy is trying to learn how to read and write’ could only apply to one person.

So Arthur was lingering outside the library, where he knew Artemis was having his lesson. He stayed far enough back from the doors, so when Artemis left, he wouldn’t see him right away.

Arthur was ready to snap. He was so bored of waiting, until he saw Artemis finally leave, carrying a book and some paper. He seemed happy enough, not seeing Arthur, walking in the opposite direction while trying to fit the book and papers in the satchel he was carrying.

Arthur followed, trying to get as close as possible without Artemis noticing.

Artemis was about to pass a storage room. Arthur sped up, grabbing him by the arm, and dragged him roughly into the room.

Artemis’ mouth opened in a silent cry of shock and he looked terrified as the door shut and he realized he was trapped in a room with Arthur. It made something familiar stir in the prince. He gripped the boy’s upper arms.

“Heard you were trying to learn how to read and write.” Arthur said in a low voice, holding Artemis still as the boy tried to wrench away in fear. “Why would a peasant whose only job is to muck out stables need to know how to do that? You’re going to write out an accusation against me for what I did, aren’t you?” Arthur asked, keeping his voice soft and dangerous. Artemis shook his head, leaning as far back as he could, sheer terror in his eyes. “How do you think that will go?” Arthur continued. He leaned in close. “If you  _ dare _ to even try to write an accusation, not only will I ensure you are dismissed and thrown in the dungeons, but you’ll end up right back in my room again after you are released. Have you ever heard of an accusation against the royal court going well for the accuser? No? Then you’ll be sure to keep your story to yourself.”

Arthur was sure Artemis was about to break something, he was trying to get out of Arthur’s tight grip so hard.

“I have so many things I want to do to you if you ever mess up and end up back in my chambers.” Arthur threatened. “I also have someone who is so eager to please me, I’m sure he’ll do to you whatever I tell him to.” The very idea of Robin doing atrocious things to Artemis just because Arthur ordered him to was arousing to the prince. “Do we understand each other?”

Seeing Artemis nod desperately, Arthur let him go, expecting him to run away the second he was free.

What Arthur  _ wasn’t  _ expecting was a hard right hook that landed directly onto his jaw. His ears rang and he swore he felt his skin swell immediately.

The little bastard punched him. Rage rose up in an instant and he went to grab Artemis, who delivered a clumsy yet effective kick to his stomach and ran out of the room when Arthur doubled over.

Arthur was only winded for a moment, but his rage remained and burned for hours after.

******************************************************************************

He took comfort in Robin that night, who received the hits and lashes Artemis deserved. Robin was on the floor eventually, begging for mercy, and Arthur closed his eyes, pretending that it was Artemis pleading if he could speak.

Arthur exhausted himself, getting in bed and inviting Robin in wordlessly. Robin’s nose was bleeding, and the skin was broken in several places on his back and legs. He was shaking as he got closer to Arthur and Arthur let him.

“It’s like I didn’t see you tonight.” Arthur murmured to Robin. “You weren’t you.”

“I don’t understand, my lord.” Robin sounded almost scared to speak.

“Someone was in your place. I wanted them tonight.”

“Didn’t I please you?”

“Always. You did nothing wrong.” Arthur assured him. “But this person committed an offense against me today.” Arthur’s skin stung at the memory of being struck by Artemis. 

“What did they do?”

Arthur entangled his fingers in Robin’s hair, contemplating if he wanted to admit that he had been struck out of nowhere by a dirty stablehand. As always, he marvelled at the softness of Robin’s hair. “I yelled at a servant today.” Arthur fibbed. “And he struck me.”

“Oh.” Robin replied. “Did you put him in the dungeons?”

“He ran shortly after he struck me. I didn’t feel like chasing down an unruly boy through the castle.”

“What are you going to do to him tomorrow?”

Arthur had been thinking about it, but he couldn’t decide. On one hand, he’d already delivered a threat to Artemis about dragging him back to his room and hurting him again if he dared tattle via note. But if he took Artemis into his chambers anyway because he struck him, would that make Artemis  _ more  _ likely to tell someone?

Arthur also considered the dungeons. That was the typical punishment for retaliation against a member of the royal court. For the first time offenses anyway. At least, Arthur wasn’t sure what the usual protocol was for attacking a prince. It hadn’t happened before now. But he figured the dungeons would be fine for that.

If he threw Artemis in the dungeons, Merlin would want to know why. And he would have to make up something, and he didn’t feel like thinking up a convincing story. Merlin would be fairly upset towards. He didn’t want Merlin’s attention on him right now.

“I can be forgiving once.” He said out loud after a couple of minutes.

“But he struck you. And you’re the prince.”

“And if he ever dares to again, he will be suitably punished.”

“But-”

“Enough.” Arthur said sharply. He was done thinking about Artemis. “I know I went a bit rough on you tonight. I was frustrated today.”

“I understand.”

“We’ll take a break for the next couple of days from the belt. Try some other things.”

As much as Arthur would have loved to give Robin lashings daily, he didn’t want to risk him needing treatment again. He needed the outlet Robin gave him. Having Robin separated from him for another week would be torture.

******************************************************************************

Artemis desperately clung to Merlin as they made love. He was clutching him roughly, straddling him as Merlin thrust upwards, causing the bed to squeak and shake.

Merlin was glad Artemis was so desperate for him tonight. He wasn’t eager to sleep. The past few nights he had been plagued with nightmares that made him wake up in cold sweats.

He wasn’t a fool. He knew it was the gem he’d picked up in the woods. He’d moved it from under his pillow to under the bed, and finally wrapped it in a shirt and shoved it in the bottom of his wardrobe. Nothing prevented the nightmares.

He kind of wanted to toss it out or bury it, but surely it did something else besides plague the owner with horrid dreams. He’d give it a few more nights.

Merlin tried not to think about it now, watching the look of ecstasy on Artemis’ face as Merlin thrust into him roughly. Artemis leaned down and they kissed messily.

Merlin finally came, shuddering and gasping as Artemis tried to bring himself to completion afterwards, eventually splattering his own seed onto Merlin’s chest.

Artemis collapsed next to him, ignoring the mess. He gave Merlin a chaste kiss on the cheek, still panting from what they had been doing moments before.

“I was scared we were going to break the bed for a minute there.” Merlin joked. Imagine explaining that to Gaius….

Artemis grinned, throwing a leg over him. Merlin was too tired to clean up. This once wouldn’t hurt if they left it until the morning. The door was locked, anyway.

He closed his eyes, listened to Artemis’ measured breaths, and drifted to sleep.

******************************************************************************

Merlin jolted awake to the sound of shuffling footsteps coming towards his room. He turned his head to look at Artemis, who was fast asleep next to him.

Merlin felt a rising panic he couldn’t explain as the slow footsteps came closer. He looked now to the left, and realized he was dreaming when his room looked completely empty.

Merlin had had nightmares before, and the biggest clue that he was asleep was that all of his furniture and books would be gone when he looked for them. It didn’t ever help him wake up, however.

He heard his door creak and his heart jumped. He tried to raise up, or to pinch himself awake but nothing was happening. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

The door opened fully and Merlin broke out in a cold sweat as he recognized the figure in the doorway as the corpse from the woods.

Merlin tried to move his head, trying to shake it back and forth to wake himself up as the corpse dragged closer and closer. Merlin’s mouth opened in a silent cry as the corpse leaned over him and spoke.

“Give. It. Back.” It screeched, before slashing at Merlin’s face with it’s curled fingers.

Merlin jolted awake, his skin damp with sweat. He sat up immediately and looked around.

Everything was normal. His door was shut and locked still. Artemis was still sleeping peacefully beside him.

Merlin jumped out of bed. He went to where he had hidden the gemstone and unwrapped it, staring at it hard.

To his surprise and amazement, an image started to form inside the gemstone. He almost dropped it, but instead forced himself to look.

He saw Robin, lying on his cot in the servant’s quarters, looking sad and miserable. Merlin felt a twinge of pity for him, but then the scene changed.

He saw Artemis and even himself in the stables, taking care of some horses. Merlin recognized the scene, but that was a couple of days ago. Merlin was puzzled.

Lastly, before everything faded, he saw himself comforting Artemis as his lover wept. Merlin again recognized the scene. It was the day Artemis had been hurt, several weeks ago.

Merlin actually shook the gemstone as all the images faded, like he could get them to come back.

What was this gemstone? Where did it come from? Why was he plagued with nightmares while possessing it?

Merlin threw on his clothes and also his jacket for added warmth, looked back at Artemis to make sure he was still asleep, and went to see the dragon for answers.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter feels like I'm rushing the story. I needed to push it along quickly to get past a certain point so I can eventually finish this story.

The dragon took his sweet time coming to see Merlin, perching on his usual rock quite a distance away from him.

Seeming almost bored of Merlin, the dragon explained it was a simple scrying stone, probably the standard quartz, and more than likely from one of the caves in a neighboring land.

Merlin hadn’t been aware magical crystals literally grew in caves. “Does it grow already having the ability to show the future? It wasn’t like… cursed or anything to make it able to show things to the user?”

The dragon angled it’s scaly head. “And why would you use the word ‘cursed’?”

Merlin told him about the nightmares he had, including the one he’d had not twenty minutes ago.

“These types of magical gems tend to bond to an owner. It probably just doesn’t like you.” The dragon stated dryly.

Merlin wasn’t sure if he was joking, but the gemstone felt heavier in his jacket. “Can I… make it like me?”

The dragon lifted his shoulders like he was shrugging. “Time will tell.” He said, “Maybe it will get used to you.”

“It showed me a few images tonight.”

“And it will continue to do so, since that’s it’s purpose, whether it likes you or not.” The dragon said. “But getting it to show you what you  _ want  _ to see is entirely different.”

Merlin chewed on his lip, thinking. “Thank you for answering my questions.” He said finally, turning to leave.

“Merlin.”

“Yes?” Merlin asked, turning back to look at him.

“You are on the wrong path.”

“I- What?”

The dragon narrowed his yellow eyes at Merlin. “You have a destiny I have told you about many times. And you are starting to stray away from it.”

“I don’t understand how…” Seemed to him like destiny was slightly unavoidable.

“It’s the boy you’ve taken up with. He’s not a part of this story.”

“Who, Artemis?” Merlin asked, although he already knew that’s exactly who the dragon meant.

The dragon raised his head up high like he usually did when he was delivering a serious statement. “Your destiny involves you, and Prince Arthur. Having this boy around is unravelling everything.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Merlin fought to stay calm. The dragon tended to get fed up and leave if Merlin got too upset and argued with him. “He’s just another person in my life. That’s like saying Gaius is unravelling everything.”

“The physician is teaching you,” the dragon corrected him, “he’s showing you how to better yourself and strengthen your magic, and in doing so he is helping you along your path. The boy is a hindrance. He cannot be involved in yours and Arthur’s story.”

“And how exactly is Artemis hurting anything?” Merlin felt his anger rise up in his chest. “Like I said before, he’s just somebody I know.”

“We both know it’s more than that. You’ve thought about leaving Camelot for him, haven’t you?”

Merlin swallowed involuntarily. He was always amazed and sometimes disturbed by what the dragon knew, despite being trapped under the castle. Maybe he had some scrying crystals of his own down there somewhere.

“I’ve… played around with the idea.” No sense in lying. “But I never actually would.”

“And what made you want to leave with him?”

Merlin felt that sick feeling rise in his stomach whenever he thought about what Artemis accused Arthur of. “I think…. Artemis told me…” Merlin found it hard to even say. “Artemis told me Arthur… hurt him.” He couldn’t make himself use the word ‘rape’. He didn’t want to think about it.

The dragon considered him silently for a moment. “Can you not see the negative impact this boy is having on your unfolding destiny?”

“Are you saying Artemis actually was lying about it?” Merlin didn’t know whether to be relieved or ill.

“I’m saying Prince Arthur would never have faced the temptation the boy presented to him had you not let the boy into your life.”

Merlin suddenly felt hollow. He stared in disbelief at the dragon. “Arthur… did he actually do it?” Merlin heard himself ask. “Did he attack Artemis?”

Again the dragon went silent.

Merlin felt like he might fall over and he braced himself against the stone wall. It was like a fog had left his brain, like something that had previously prevented him from believing that Arthur could have committed such an evil act was gone.

He felt so foolish. He’d gone to work every day in a fog, refusing to fully believe what Artemis had told him, like something had literally been blocking him from doing so. Until now. Until the dragon had silently confirmed it.

“I’ve been working for him… for so long after he did… that.” Merlin said quietly. “Artemis must have been so hurt, seeing me leave every morning to serve the prince after what Arthur did to him.”

“As I said before,” the dragon began, “having the boy around does nothing but hinder your destiny.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Merlin shouted. “The man you demanded I  _ have  _ to serve for gods only know how long,  _ raped  _ somebody. He attacked him. And you act like it’s all Artemis’ fault. He never did anything to Arthur.”

“Every tiny little thing, no matter how insignificant one may assume it is, can cause vast changes.” The dragon said, staying calm, like he was explaining something simple to a child. “Starting up a relationship with the boy led to Arthur seeing you and him around the castle and the castle grounds. This led to Arthur feeling a sense of loss and emptiness. You had something he’d never had. He saw more and more of it. He wanted to experience it. He didn’t know how. So he took the boy and tried to experience it for himself. It left him briefly satisfied, in a way, but still uncomprehending and misunderstanding the real fulfillment someone can bring. Which led to him hating the boy and developing unnatural desires. The boy told you what happened. This led to a rift in yours and Prince Arthur’s relationship.” The dragon paused, considering him for a moment. “Interesting that you had faith in the prince for as long as you did. I assume some other forces are in play here to try and keep you on your path. However, it doesn’t seem to be working very well. You now want to leave Camelot, and abandon your destiny for a boy who was never supposed to be involved in this story in the first place.”

Merlin rested his back against rock wall, closing his eyes. He took in everything the dragon was saying, turning the words over in his head to soak them all in.

Arthur had seen them around the castle before.

Arthur wanted what they had.

Arthur was too much of a spoiled prat to comprehend a loving relationship between two people. So he tried to take it and make it happen by force.

He took Artemis by force.

Merlin was lost on the ‘unnatural desires’ part. He assumed that meant Arthur was into men. It was hard to not be offended by the way the dragon had said that.

Something  _ had  _ been preventing him from seeing it all before. Every time he tried to think about it before now, he squashed it back down, refusing to reflect on it. Now he couldn’t stop thinking about all of it. How Arthur was capable of doing that. How hurt Artemis must be seeing Merlin still on friendly terms with the man who raped him.

Merlin lightly banged the back of his head against the rock. He felt so stupid.

“Merlin.” He heard the dragon say.

Merlin reluctantly opened his eyes to look at the dragon.

“You need to get back on your correct path. You need to prevent your destiny from unravelling any further-”

“If you think I’m going to continue to serve a man who could do that to someone, you’re wrong.” Merlin said. “I love Artemis.” The dragon scoffed. “I love him.” Merlin repeated fiercely. “And I refuse to stay by the side of a man who is capable of hurting an innocent person the way Arthur did.”

“Merlin,” the dragon warned, “Does your foolishness know no bounds? Without you, Arthur will never achieve his own destiny. Your fates are intertwined-”

“I don’t care!” Merlin shouted at the dragon. “Destiny be damned! I  _ will not  _ serve Arthur any longer!”

He heard a rumble in the throat of the dragon, but he was too riled up to care. “You’ll never see me again.” Merlin promised. “It’s me and Artemis from here on out.”

“Merlin-”

“I said it and I meant it.” Merlin snapped. “Save your breath.” 

He turned and ran up the stairs. He heard the dragon gnash his teeth, then the sound of a roaring fire behind him. But Merlin was too far gone to feel anything more than the heat of the fiery breath.

He raced up the stairs, back to the physician’s chambers, back to Artemis.

Artemis was awake when he came back. He looked worried, sitting up in their bed, watching Merlin come into the room.

“Sorry I left you, Artemis.” Merlin said, out of breath from running. He took off his jacket and shirt. “I had to do something”

He went over to Artemis, cupping his face and kissing him deeply. “I’ve said so many times how much you mean to me. You must think I’m such a liar.”

Artemis furrowed his brow. He looked confused by Merlin’s words.

“I’m going to show you exactly how important you are. Starting now. I promise.”

Artemis slowly nodded, but it was more of a “Um, ok….?” sort of nod, like Merlin had gone crazy and Artemis was placating him.

Merlin kissed him again, then remembered the gemstone still in his jacket pocket, lying on the ground. He grabbed it, wrapping it back up and shoving it into the wardrobe again. Then he locked the door and leapt back into bed.

“Come here.” Merlin invited Artemis to lay on his chest. He kissed Artemis’ hair a few times. “You’re precious to me, you know that? So precious.” Artemis didn’t do anything, just laid there while Merlin alternately stroked his hair or kissed it.

Merlin’s strokes got less frantic and more soothing and eventually made Artemis fall back asleep on his chest. Merlin lay awake for a lot longer, starting up at the ceiling, enjoying the warmth and weight of Artemis against him until he drifted off to sleep.

******************************************************************************

He woke up to the sun already having risen. Artemis was dressed, standing in the middle of the room, eating his breakfast porridge. He looked concerned for Merlin.

Merlin smiled at him as he stretched. “Morning, love. Is Gaius gone already?”

Artemis nodded. He pointed to the bedside table, where a bowl of porridge was sitting. “Oh. Thank you.”

Artemis cocked his head and gestured out the window, like he was making sure Merlin knew what time it was.

“It’s ok, Artemis.” Merlin assured him. “I’ll be fine.”

Artemis ate his last bite of breakfast, looking him over as he chewed. Then he set the empty bowl down on the bedside table. He gave Merlin a quick peck on the lips.

“Going to work now, love?” Artemis nodded. “See you for lunch?”

Artemis confirmed that he would, then headed out.

Merlin laid back down and stretched out. He hadn’t slept in for ages. He contentedly closed his eyes and went back to sleep.

******************************************************************************

Arthur was raging mad. He’d not been awakened by Merlin, so he woke up incredibly late. He had to dress himself, there was no breakfast waiting for him, so he had to yell at a servant to get it for him, and on top of it all, he had a meeting with his father that he was made very late for.

All because of useless Merlin. That servant would be lucky if he had a job by the end of the day.

He fumed all the way to Merlin’s room, slinging open the door to see his worthless servant snoozing away.

“Merlin!” He shouted angrily, taking some delight in the way Merlin flinched awake. “I hope you have a good excuse for not showing up to work this morning.”

Merlin took his sweet time stretching out and sitting up, blinking the sleep away. “I do.” He answered at last.

“Well?” Arthur crossed his arms.

“I quit.”

“You. What?” Arthur repeated, half in disbelief, half in anger.

“I quit. I don’t want to work for you anymore.”

“It’s not quite that simple, Merlin-”

“But it is.” Merlin had the gall to cut him off. “I decided I don’t want to work for you anymore. So I quit.”

Arthur was taken aback by his matter-of-fact tone. He fumbled for the words to say. “You needed to give notice.”

“Sorry.” Merlin shrugged.

“What brought all of this on out of nowhere?” Arthur demanded to know.

Merlin regarded him coldly. “I decided I didn’t feel like being a servant anymore. Now I’m not.”

Arthur felt the reality of the situation setting in. Merlin, stupid, loyal-to-a-fault, clumsy, cheerful Merlin…. quitting, just like this. Arthur would no longer wake up to his ridiculous rhymes that urged the prince out of bed. No more hearing Merlin prattle on while he tried to eat his meals in peace.

Arthur missed it already.

“Just like that then?” Arthur said.

“Just like that.”

Arthur wanted to get mad. He wanted to throw something at Merlin and curse at him for leaving him high and dry like this. But he couldn’t.

He turned to leave, in somewhat of a daze, making it to the doorway before he heard Merlin speak again.

“Arthur.”

Arthur turned back to look at him. He expected to see Merlin looking apologetic. Instead Merlin’s face was like stone, and his bright blue eyes were stern and dangerous.

“If you **_ever_** hurt Artemis again, I swear by all the gods, I **_will_** come for you.”

Arthur opened his mouth to say something. Maybe force a laugh and make a mockery of the threat. Maybe remind Merlin that threatening the prince was a serious offense. Maybe protest his own innocence, try to convince Merlin again that Artemis was a liar.

But he ended up shutting it again. Merlin believed the truth now. He knew what Arthur had done. There was no convincing him otherwise again.

For the first time ever, Arthur felt shame for what he had done to the stable boy. He felt sick that Merlin knew what he had done. He thought he had him convinced for good that he wasn’t capable of doing something like that. But Merlin couldn’t be lied to any longer. Arthur could tell by the look in his eyes.

Arthur ducked his head, turning on his heel and leaving quickly.

******************************************************************************

Artemis and Merlin had lunch in their usual spot in the tower. Merlin felt freer and happier than he had been in a long time, watching Artemis eat from the bowl of fruit Merlin had snagged from the kitchens.

Merlin wasn’t too hungry. He picked at his food, content to sit and enjoy Artemis’ silent company.

Merlin drank some water before clearing his throat. “I want to apologize to you.” He began. Artemis gave him a curious look. “Because a couple months ago, you had an atrocity committed against you. And all I did was give you some empty promises about justice and kept working for the man who did it to you.” Merlin felt his throat tighten but he made himself keep talking. “I quit my job this morning.” Artemis’ eyes widened in surprise. “I should have done it the day you told me what happened but I was foolish and I- I was blinded by my own trust in Arthur. I made excuses to myself. And it must have hurt you  _ so  _ much and I’m sorry.” Merlin blinked back some tears. “I’m shocked you’re even still with me.” He admitted. Artemis reached out and touched his hand gently. The action made Merlin’s chest tighten. “I told Arthur I quit. I told him if he ever touched you again, I would come for him. And I meant it. I should have done more the day I found out what he did-”

He was interrupted by a kiss. Artemis moved in even closer, pressing up against him, placing a hand on Merlin’s neck lightly.

Merlin knew he didn’t deserve Artemis. He was too perfect, too trusting and too loving toward Merlin. More than Merlin deserved after he let him down as terribly as he did.

An apology and another promise was way less than what was needed to make it up to Artemis, but he seemed to accept it easily enough.

Merlin broke the kiss first, pressing his forehead against Artemis’, closing his eyes and holding onto Artemis’ calloused fingers.

He hadn’t wanted them to, but the next words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“I love you, Artemis.” He felt a catch in his chest. He opened his eyes to look at Artemis. “I do. I love you so very much.”

Artemis blinked a few times, like he was making sure he heard him right. A happy smile spread slowly across his face. He kissed Merlin again, sloppy and too rough, but Merlin didn’t care. The words were out now. Artemis knew.

Artemis wrapped his arms around Merlin and they held each for a long time, occasionally pressing tender kisses to each other’s skin as they sat in comfortable silence.

******************************************************************************

Artemis had not had a very easy life. He was born unable to speak, in a village where everyone was always a little hungry, in a northern land where food didn’t grow easily, and it was always cold year-round.

He never knew his father, never had siblings, and his mother passed when he turned eleven.

Nobody bothered to speak to him, to use his name, and no one cared what he did day in and day out, which was mostly just trying to survive another cold, windy day like everyone else.

He had zero friends growing up, he was sad most of the time, and he just wished someone cared about him enough to sit with him and talk.

When he was barely twelve, three men decided he would be great entertainment and mercilessly used him. Because he was mute and illiterate, and not paid much attention to anyway by the rest of the village, it was very easy for them to get away with.

Artemis resented being mute even more so than before when they started having their way with him. He wanted to be able to shout, or scream, or protest in some way when they shoved their grimy fingers in his mouth, or wrestled off his clothes. He wanted to be able to make sound when they smacked him around and yanked at his hair.

There was always at least one of the three wanting to do things to him nearly daily. He blocked out their names. He wished he could block out the memories of what they did.

He remembers the first time one of them forced his mouth open and held it open until another released his rotten-tasting seed into his mouth. They laughed when he gagged and spit it out.

He remembers when he was punched in the nose and forced to look at himself in a mirror after he bit one of the men’s hands when it was forced into his mouth. He remembers how much blood there was.

He remembers their awful stench, like they hadn’t bathed in years and took turns rolling around in muck and rotten meat.

He remembers being spat on.

He remembers turning thirteen, and having his virginity taken from him while he wept in pain. He remembered the agony of being held down by one man, another forcing his head up to watch, and the third mercilessly forcing his way inside.

He remembers wanting to die after it happened, praying he would be taken in his sleep.

He remembers crying when he woke up anyway.

He remembers when he landed a punch on one of them, and how good it felt until the man twisted his fingers so hard one of them broke. It healed crooked and he hates looking at it.

He remembers when it all finally stopped, after he turned fifteen. Two of the men moved away. One of them, horrifyingly enough, got married and stayed in the village.

Artemis remembers the first time he looked at another boy, just a year younger than he, and finding himself intrigued and wanting to spend time with him. After he recognized the feeling as infatuation, he instantly pushed it down. Not only did he know that no one could ever love him, the thought of being with another male made him feel sick. He never wanted to be near another man like that again. It made his stomach churn when he remembered the horrible, intrusive feeling of someone inside of him, and the taste of semen in his mouth was burned into his memory. The rotten, bitter taste.

He moved to the southern kingdom of Camelot shortly after turning eighteen. The warm weather was a delight to him. Food was plentiful. The people were a tad friendlier, if not put off by the fact he couldn’t speak.

Then he met Merlin, who made his heart sing just at the sight of him.

Artemis noticed his cheekbones first, then his bright blue eyes. Artemis had always liked blue eyes.

Merlin actually wanted to speak to him. Artemis felt sad when he had to motion that he couldn’t speak, knowing it usually made people stop talking to him.

But Merlin didn’t care. He had smiled brightly and said, “Everyone tells me I talk too much anyway. I can speak for both of us.” It was a dumb joke, maybe even a little callous, but it made Artemis grin anyway.

Artemis’ mother had made sure he knew how to write his name when he was young. When Merlin read his name off of the piece of paper Artemis gave him, Artemis felt his heart flutter at hearing him say it. And he tried to say it often. Merlin said it was such a pretty name.

Merlin smelled good. And he was gorgeous. And he was nice. And he wanted to see Artemis often.

Artemis had been terrified when he realized he was infatuated with a man again. But he couldn’t help himself.

When Merlin started flirting with him, it made Artemis blush and feel flustered. He loved it.

Merlin gave him flowers a few times. He asked to eat lunch with him most days. If Artemis didn’t know any better, he would think Merlin was trying to court him. The idea made him happy.

The first time they held hands by the lake at sunset, Artemis’ heart was pounding so hard he thought it would pop. He was nervous that Merlin might reject him, but Merlin only accepted it, continuing to talk softly like nothing was out of the ordinary as he held his hand and they looked out over the lake. Artemis got a little braver and leaned against him. Merlin was so warm and easy to be with.

Artemis remembers their first kiss. How he was shaking when he knew it was about to happen. How he melted at the softness of it, how Merlin gently ran his hand down his back and rested it on his waist.

He remembers the shame of telling Merlin, through hastily drawn pictures and mimes, that he had been raped years before. He remembers how Merlin had nothing but sympathy for him. Artemis had feared that it would make Merlin not want him anymore. But he did.

He remembers the first time they started exploring each other. How patient Merlin was and didn’t make him do anything Artemis didn’t want to do.

He remembers how Merlin focussed on Artemis’ pleasure, making him relax and enjoy being touched and caressed.

He remembers being surprised at how good it felt to touch and be touched by another person. No being held down, no feeling like his hair was about to be ripped out by someone’s fist. Just him and Merlin, lying down in a locked, empty room, kissing each other and softly caressing under each other’s clothes.

He remembers having been afraid that Merlin would either grow bored of him, or eventually get tired of the slow pace and force himself onto Artemis. Neither happened.

He remembers when Merlin shyly asked if he could give Artemis a special favor and next thing Artemis knew he was standing with his back to the wall while Merlin was on his knees directly in front of him, licking and sucking Artemis’ cock like it was the most wonderful thing in the world. Artemis was lost in a sea of pleasure until he climaxed with a gasp into Merlin’s mouth. He remembers the shock of seeing Merlin swallow everything and pull off with a satisfied smile. He even thanked Artemis for it, which was confusing to him.

He remembers the first time Merlin tried to prep him, assuring him he wouldn’t go any farther than Artemis wanted. Artemis choked down a sob when the first wet finger started to go in and Merlin stopped at once, apologized, and didn’t try anything else. It bemused Artemis. It also made him trust Merlin even more.

He remembers the first time Merlin successfully prepared him, after a couple of weeks of trying at Artemis’ own requests. He  _ wanted  _ Merlin to do it so badly. Merlin had told him how good it would feel and he was eager to replace the old, bad memories of being forced open with good ones of being lovingly stretched and opened.

He remembers the pleasant shock of Merlin lathering his opening with his tongue, like he couldn’t help himself. He heard Merlin prattling on behind him as he scissored two fingers in and out, telling him how warm he was, how honored he was that Artemis wanted this, how good it would feel.

And Merlin was right. Before Artemis knew it, he had three fingers in him, thrusting in and out. He could only lay there on his stomach with his mouth open, panting. Merlin urged him to touch himself, and Artemis did so, reaching orgasm fairly quickly, collapsing again onto the bed.

He remembers Merlin pulling his wet fingers out, encouraging Artemis to feel how open he was now. He told Artemis that he would make sure Artemis was properly wet and open when they had sex the first time.

He remembers Merlin sheepishly admitting how big he was, and how he would make sure not to hurt Artemis at all.

He remembers seeing Merlin’s cock for the first time and feeling apprehensive.

He remembers touching it for the first time, then putting his mouth on it and hearing the delighted noises Merlin would make. Merlin tasted clean. His skin was soft and pleasant to touch and lick. His seed tasted salty, not rotten at all. Artemis remembers tasting it for the first time and immediately wanting to taste it again.

He remembers finally having the courage to have sex with Merlin, and how eagerly Merlin had prepped and readied him. He remembers Merlin asking if he wanted his seed on the outside or inside. Artemis had bad memories of being covered in somebody else’s cum, so he opted for inside. He didn’t regret the decision. It was so hot and it coated him inside so thoroughly he could scarcely believe how amazing it felt. There was so much that some spilled out the second Merlin pulled out and flopped down. He remembers how happy he felt lying next to a panting Merlin, grinning like a fool.

He remembers every single time Merlin helped him through a panic attack. The incredible patience and understanding that Merlin showed him. How he would hold him for however long it took for Artemis to calm down and reminding him that he would be okay.

Merlin was almost too good to Artemis. He had never ending patience and compassion for him. Artemis felt like he didn’t deserve all of this love and understanding, but Merlin gave it to him anyway.

Artemis knew he loved Merlin a long time ago. He wanted to live with him forever. He wanted to walk around in the forest for hours and have their own garden where they grew their own food. He wanted to sit outside and listen to the birds sing and Merlin going on and on about something or another.

He wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted in all his life.

Merlin told him that he loved him. 

Merlin loved him.

Artemis had been worried Merlin was never going to say it out loud. But he did. And Artemis had never been happier a day in his life.


	18. Chapter 18

Arthur regarded Robin in front of the fireplace that evening. Robin was sitting cross-legged in front of it, with his back facing the roaring heat, looking up at Arthur.

“Robin,” Arthur swirled his glass of wine before taking a sip, “would you like to be my new personal servant?”

Robin’s eyes widened. “Sire?” He stuttered out.

“There’s been a sudden vacancy.” Arthur kept his voice neutral, despite the fact that it pained him that Merlin had quit. “I would like you to fill it. The pay is good, you’ll be paid at the beginning of every week, and it is quite an honor to personally serve the prince. You’d be doing a lot of what you do now, with the inclusion of assisting me with hunting, training, and sharpening my weapons. Doubt that Dietrich does much of that.”

“Did you fire Merlin?” Robin asked.

Arthur paused. “Yes.” He lied. He’d rather not have to explain why Merlin quit.

“Why?”

“For my own personal reasons.” Arthur snapped. “Not for you to know.”

“I know you complained about him sometimes. I didn’t know he was that bad at his job.”

_ He wasn’t _ , Arthur thought.  _ He wasn’t bad at all _ .

Out loud he said, “To serve the prince takes more than what he could handle. But I know you could handle it.” He took another drink. “Will you accept the job?”

“Yes, sire.” Robin’s smile made Arthur nearly smile himself. “I’d love to.”

“During the day, we act as normal servant and master.” Arthur informed him. “At night… well, nothing has to change.” He saw Robin’s breath catch and watched him bite his own lip.

“I’m honored, sire.”

“I will make sure Dietrich knows in the morning, and he will have another servant assigned to him. You’re mine, and solely mine from here on out.” He swore he saw Robin’s breeches tent when he said that.

Robin shifted. “Yes, sire.”

“Take everything off. Let me see you.”

Arthur poured himself more wine as Robin obeyed. He knew he shouldn’t drink this much, but it was helping him not think about Merlin.

He sat in a chair and watched Robin strip like he had a hundred times before now. He never tired of looking over his thin frame.

Robin had definitive tan lines on his arms and waist. He had a surprising amount of lean muscle that looked perfect on his lithe frame. Arthur wondered how that was the case as he didn’t do much outdoor labor.

Arthur admired the art on his thighs. Some of them had just lost their scabs, and the scars were fresh and pink. Most were still healing, but they looked lovely nonetheless.

Arthur felt himself growing warm, whether from the wine or from looking at Robin, he wasn’t sure. He kept his face emotionless, pretending Robin had no effect on him while he drank.

Robin was already half-hard. He sat back down in front of the fireplace, facing Arthur, waiting for the next instruction.

Arthur set down his cup and got up, walking over to his bed and pulling out a locked box underneath it. He picked up his ring of keys that he had previously set on his bedside table and unlocked it, taking out the crude, phallic shaped wooden object he kept inside.

Maybe it was overkill to keep it in a locked box under his bed and the key to it mostly on his person, but he’d rather die than have someone stumble upon this and think he used it on himself.

He grabbed the jar of oil from his shelf and dipped the object inside to coat it. He looked over and told Robin to get into the usual position.

Robin got on his elbows and knees as Arthur approached him. Arthur saw him wince in anticipation before he shoved the object inside quickly and with no preparation or warning.

Robin made a sound and squeezed his eyes shut. Then he exhaled after a minute and Arthur saw his arousal grow a bit.

Arthur sat back down at the table, looking Robin over.

He was such a delightful sight like this. His face was flushed with shame and want, his chest was heaving. He kept shifting like he was in pain, and gasping every so often. The crude object stuck out an inch or two. The sight was more intoxicating than the wine.

“Disgusting.” Arthur scoffed at him. He’d rather be set on fire than tell Robin what an arousing sight he was right now. He could barely admit it to himself.

“Sit back down on your knees. Carefully.”

Robin didn’t need to be told twice. He sat back in his normal position, wincing. He sighed a breath of relief when he was comfortably seated.

“You’d do anything for me, wouldn’t you?” Arthur asked, watching Robin shift back and forth.

He saw Robin look away before hearing him mutter, “Yes. I think I would.”

Arthur kept swirling the wine cup as he briefly became lost in his thoughts.

It was going to be strange, being woken up by someone who wasn’t Merlin.

They had this repertoire with one another that he had never had with another servant.

He had missed Merlin all day today while he had someone else fill in for Merlin’s vacancy.

He kept having to stop himself from calling that temporary servant ‘Merlin’.

Every time he needed something, his first thought was to look for Merlin. Every time he stopped himself and remembered that Merlin had quit, he felt a pang in his chest.

He knew exactly who to blame for Merlin’s sudden quitting.

“Might need you to do a special favor for me in the next day or two.” Arthur said, after several minutes of silence.

“What would that be?”

“Someone has crossed a line with me a few times now. They need to be given what’s coming to them.”

“Who?”

“I’ll tell you when it comes time.” Arthur snapped. “But when it does, I need you to fetch them for me.”

“And bring them here?”

“No. There’s a specific room I’m thinking would be perfect.”

Robin seemed a bit lost but he nodded. “Okay… Just tell me when you want me to get them.”

Arthur didn’t respond to that. He observed Robin as he was still shifting around in some discomfort.

“Does it hurt?” He asked.

“Somewhat.” Robin admitted, his face turning red.

“Do you wish it was me inside of you instead of that?”

Robin couldn’t look at him. “Yes.” He said quietly and sounding ashamed.

Arthur smirked. “You’re so pathetic, Robin.” He scoffed at him.

Arthur eventually tired of watching Robin sit in front of the fireplace. He moved him to the bed, made him lay on his stomach, and carved a couple of stars into the back of his right thigh.

Robin muffled his sounds of pain into the pillow the entire time. Arthur finished, wrapping up the wound like he did every night with a cloth.

Maybe it was because of the wine, but he couldn’t help but mess with the object still sticking out of Robin. He tapped on it, wiggled it around a little, tried to see if it would go in any further… All were met with gasps and groans from Robin.

“Does it feel good?” Arthur said softly to him.

“It does now… I’ve gotten used to it.” Robin confessed, like he was scared Arthur would hate that answer.

Arthur considered his admission. He messed with it a little more, fascinated by the sounds Robin made.

Robin had to be uncomfortably aroused now. Normally he came during the art process before Arthur could even finish the piece. Lying on his stomach prevented him from easily touching himself like normal.

Arthur couldn’t help but run a hand along his soft skin. Robin was so flushed and warm. He again blamed it on the wine for wanting to do this. Typically, he was able to resist the urge.

He asked Robin to roll over, hovering over him and giving him a kiss.

Before Arthur could stop himself, he reached over and brushed Robin’s erection gently. Robin jerked his hips and gasped with pleasure.

This was definitely the wine making him do this, Arthur thought. He insisted to himself that he wasn’t disgusting like Robin, or perverted like Merlin. He had no desire to whore himself out like Artemis, or perform deviant acts with men.

He kept telling himself this as he softly rubbed Robin’s delicate erection, watching him ooze some clear liquid.

“You like this.” Arthur said quietly. “You like being touched by another man.”

“Yes, sire.” Robin stuttered out.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” Robin jerked his hips uncontrollably.

Arthur traced the line of hair on his stomach, fascinated by how thick and dark the hair was. “There’s something wrong with you, then.” Arthur told him. “For liking this.”

He saw Robin’s eyes grow wet. “I know.” Robin agreed, his voice breaking.

_ I’m not like them _ , Arthur insisted to himself, grabbing Robin’s arousal softly and stroking it, being met with Robin’s pleasured gasps and cries.  _ I’m just a little drunk is all. I’m barely enjoying it _ .

It only took a few strokes and Robin came, clutching the sheets and crying out.

Arthur pulled his hand away, surprised by his own actions. He just wanted to see if Robin liked it. He hadn’t intended for him to cum like that.

_ I’m not like them _ , Arthur again assured himself.  _ If I were like them, I’d want to put my mouth on Robin. I’d want to taste him. And I don’t. I am just a little drunk. And I was only messing around. _

Arthur recalled the perverse things Merlin and Artemis did for each other. The sheer enjoyment they got out of their depraved acts. Arthur would not and could not enthusiastically perform those acts, he assured himself. He never would. That was a step too far.

What he did with Robin, especially under the influence of alcohol, didn’t count.

After he had ordered Robin away, telling him what time to wake him up and what he wanted to eat for breakfast the next morning, Arthur curled up under the covers, alone like usual.

******************************************************************************

That same night, in Merlin’s room, by candlelight, Artemis and Merlin started making their plans on where to live once they left Camelot.

Merlin hated that it was autumn. They would have to wait until winter was over to move if they were going to start their garden and make their own cabin like they wanted. Unless they moved to a new town for a bit, which they were on the fence about.

Merlin longed for freedom that he didn’t realize until now he had been lacking. He and Artemis wanted to live alone, away from others, mostly self-sustained, not too far from a village or town, but not too close. Preferably next to a lake. Artemis loved water, and it would make life easier having a source of water very close by.

Merlin realized their living preferences were going to be difficult to attain, but he was determined to try.

Merlin had quite a bit of money saved from working for Arthur. Artemis was paid decently enough. It was enough to buy supplies like a tent, and to get started buying supplies to build their home. Merlin knew the basics of building a cabin. He’d have to study it further. Until then, they could live in the tent, which Artemis was okay with.

Merlin and Artemis planned until it got very late, getting excited at their plans to leave, even though it was months away. They went back and forth on when they would go, which direction, and whether to stay in a town until the cabin was finished.

Artemis refused to go back north. He wanted to stay as south as possible, according to his notes. Merlin understood completely. The north lacked a lot of food. The ground was almost impossible to work.

Artemis got tired and had to be up early so they went to bed. Merlin held him close like he did every night, enjoying the warmth he brought and the soft, soothing sound of his breathing.

Gaius didn’t know Merlin had quit yet. Merlin dreaded telling him. Gaius also wasn’t aware of what Arthur had done to Artemis. Merlin didn’t know if it was his place to tell him. But surely it would make him understand why Merlin was determined to leave next spring.

Merlin squeezed Artemis a little tighter, giving the back of his neck a quick kiss before settling in to sleep.

******************************************************************************

ONE WEEK LATER

Robin thought Arthur had forgotten about the person he said he wanted Robin to bring to him. Maybe it had been the wine talking.

Then Arthur brought him into an empty room Robin had never been in before and shut the door behind him.

“I want you to go down to the stables and fetch Artemis. Bring him to this room. Don’t tell him I’m here.”

Robin thought he misheard. “Um, Artemis?”

“Yes.”

“... Artemis? The mute one Merlin is with?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I don’t know of any other Artemis’ in Camelot. Do you?”

“ **He’s** who you wanted to…” Robin trailed off, uncertain of Arthur’s intentions with Artemis. He only knew it couldn’t be good.

“Yes, now will you fetch him for me? He should be near the stables.”

“What did he do to you?”

Arthur glared at him and Robin regretted asking. “That’s not for you to know. I will dole out punishments as I see fit for people who I perceive have wronged me. It’s your job to do as I say so the punishment will be served.”

“Sire….” Robin didn’t want to argue, but he also didn’t want Artemis to be hurt. “I don’t know if I feel comfortable-”

“Are you refusing me?”

“What are you going to do to him?”

“ **_Robin_ ** **.”** Arthur’s tone became low and dangerous. “What I choose to do as prince is not of your concern. I’m asking you to bring him here. I can simply get him myself if I wanted to. But I’m telling you to do it. Because you are my servant. And it’s your job. Unless you want to lose your job.”

Robin couldn’t stand to lose his job. He liked working for the prince. It was fairly simple work and it paid well. And he liked being around Arthur during the daytime. He was easy to be around. He was pleasant enough to Robin. And at night… Robin loved nights with the prince, especially when he had a little too much to drink and touched Robin more.

But the thought of Arthur hurting Artemis pained Robin. And not in the way he liked.

“Can you at least promise me you won’t hurt him?” Robin requested.

Arthur sighed. “I promise you nothing will happen to him that he can’t endure.”

Robin didn’t like his wording, but he thought it was a good enough promise. “I’ll fetch him now, sire.”

“Good. And remember not to tell him I’m waiting.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis led the freshly brushed and saddled mare to the lord waiting in the courtyard. He bowed to the lord and handed off the reins. He gave the horse one last affectionate pet on the nose before making a trip to the water pump to rinse his hands of grime.

Before he had saddled the horse, he had been mucking out several stalls. His hands and feet were filthy. He hated seeing his hands with dirt and grime build-up. It reminded him of those men years ago.

He rinsed off his hands and feet, wishing he had had the foresight to bring some soap.

“Artemis?”

Artemis turned to see who was speaking. Not a lot of people used his name. He blinked in surprise when he saw it was Robin.

He didn’t like Robin.

He had  _ sympathy  _ for Robin.

He had  _ pity  _ for Robin being foolish enough to be with the prince.

He felt  _ sorry  _ for him.

But he didn’t  _ like  _ him.

He angled his head at Robin, indicating something like, “ _ well, what is it _ ?”

Robin cleared his throat. “Can I speak with you?” He looked around. “Not here. Privately.”

Artemis made an irritated sigh. Robin shuffled awkwardly.

Artemis really didn’t feel like being Robin’s therapist today. Robin could cry and moan about the fact that he was attracted to the prince all day. It changed nothing. He would still go right back to him.

Artemis was pretty sure Merlin didn’t know Robin was still with the prince. Merlin didn’t know Robin was talking about the prince in the first place at all. Merlin probably thought Robin had done the right thing and completely severed ties.

_ Merlin has so much trust and empathy towards people _ , Artemis thought wistfully. But it made him act foolish sometimes.

Artemis knew, though. He was around the servants of the castle, who noticed Robin’s continuing limps and welts. Robin was still with the prince. And that was not likely to change anytime soon.

“Please.” Robin said. “I just need to talk to someone.”

_ And who better than someone who is unable to share your secrets _ , Artemis thought bitterly.

Artemis looked up at the sky. He had some time before dinner to listen to Robin, as much as he didn’t want to. He finally agreed.

Robin didn’t seem as happy as Artemis thought he would be when he agreed. Artemis followed Robin into the castle, and up a couple flight of stairs.

Artemis’ face flushed when he realized they were heading towards the room he and Merlin had made love in for the first time. Odd that Robin had picked this room, out of all the other rooms in the castle.

Robin opened the door for him and Artemis went inside.

He heard the door shut.

He didn’t notice the prince standing in the far right corner until he heard the door lock.

He immediately thought he was going to be sick.

The prince smiled at him. “Hello Artemis.”

Artemis looked back at Robin in disbelief and anger. Robin was standing directly in front of the door, unable to look at him.

“How have things been with you?” The prince asked pleasantly as he approached.

_ How’s the bruise I gave you last time you cornered me _ ? Artemis thought, despite his terror. He was still pretty proud of himself for landing a good punch to the prince’s face.

Artemis started backing up.

“Don’t let him leave, Robin.” The prince ordered the servant.

Artemis looked at Robin again, who braced himself better in front of the door.

“ _ Someone _ must have managed to convince Merlin of what I did to you.” The prince said, closing in quickly. “ _ Someone _ must not have heeded my generous second warning to keep his mouth shut.”

Arthur closed the space between them, towering over Artemis. He struck him, hard and fast like a snake. Artemis gasped and covered the mark at once. 

“And that same someone attacked the crowned prince for giving him that generous second warning to stay quiet.” Arthur continued, his voice even as he struck Artemis again.

_ But I didn’t!  _ Artemis thought desperately,  _ I only told him what you did the one time a couple months ago! I don’t know what made him quit all the sudden! _

The prince grabbed Artemis by the forearms. “And now, that someone is going to get precisely what he deserves.”

Artemis tried to twist away. Robin didn’t seem like he wanted to be here. Maybe if Artemis got away, he could push Robin away from the door and escape before the prince caught him again.

Arthur dragged him farther away from the door, his grip tight. Artemis felt his panic rising up as they approached the bed.

The same one he and Merlin had been intimate on for the first time months ago.

Artems sobbed once before he could stop it. He couldn’t stand it if that wonderful memory was tainted by what the prince was going to do to him on it.

Arthur stopped dragging him once they were beside the bed. He let go of Artemis only to backhand him again. And again. Artemis felt himself get dizzy. He fought to think straight. Why wasn’t Robin doing anything?

The prince pulled Artemis in and roughly kissed him.

Artemis hated him so much. He never stopped struggling as Arthur wrapped his arms tighter and tighter around him until Artemis felt like a mouse being squeezed to death by a snake.

He was nearly blinded by panic when the prince finally broke the kiss and whispered into his ear, “Robin’s like you, you know. I think he’d love it if I shared you with him.”

Artemis wanted to look back at Robin to see his reaction. He didn’t want to believe Robin had it in him to force another person. But he  _ was _ literally standing by as the prince was doing this to him.

Artemis didn’t think he could stand to be forced again. He’d rather die. He had wanted to die after the first time Arthur had his way with him in his chambers. And if he hadn’t had Merlin, he might have.

_ Merlin _ .

Artemis started crying. He wished Merlin were here to stop this.

“There, there,” the prince said with false sympathy. “It’ll only take a few hours. And then I’ll let you go. Promise. And if you just keep your mouth shut from here on out, it never has to happen again.”

Artemis looked up into the prince’s face. He couldn’t help but notice how cold and icy his blue eyes were. Not warm and soft like Merlin’s. 

If he thought of Merlin the whole time, could he get through this? Could he even go through something like this again?

The prince kissed him roughly again. Artemis struggled to free even one arm. He thought about getting one arm free and going for those cold eyes, gouging them out.

“You haven’t gotten any better at kissing.” The prince laughed. “Try and relax, Artemis.”

_ Don’t say my name _ , Artemis wanted to scream.

Arthur’s comment made him think back to the first time the prince had approached him in the stables. How he had leaned in and kissed Artemis twice. The second time, Artemis had reluctantly kissed him back, scared of his reaction if he had stayed still.

As Arthur pressed wet, gross kisses to his jaw and cheeks, Artemis had an idea. The idea was revolting and he hated it. But it might work.

Artemis forced himself to relax. If Arthur decided to toss him onto the bed, his chances of getting away became slim. Arthur could hold him down very easily. If Robin actually joined in, Artemis had almost no chance.

He forced his breathing to slow down. He softened his expression. He untensed. He closed his eyes, pretending it was Merlin kissing his skin, despite the cold, hard feel that was nothing like Merlin.

The prince pulled back and Artemis opened his eyes to look at him. He told himself he had to look relaxed and maybe even a little into it if he wanted out of here. He peered into the prince’s eyes again. He kept calm by fantasizing about taking his thumbs and pressing them into the prince’s eyes.

Unaware of Artemis’ fantasies, Arthur loosened his grip slightly. He kissed Artemis over and over. Artemis kept closing his eyes, forcing himself to imagine Merlin.

Arthur’s grip around him decreased until he was no longer squeezing him.

“Knew you were always a whore for it,” Arthur whispered to him.

Artemis could have punched him again for saying that.

“Knew you could like this if you just relaxed.” Arthur pet his hair and his gaze flickered all over Artemis’ face.

Artemis risked a glance back at Robin, who definitely seemed to not be enjoying any of this. He looked ill.

“You want him to join us now?” Arthur asked.

Artemis felt his heart drop. That was the opposite of what he wanted. He ignored the question and tilted his face up for another kiss.

Arthur gladly kissed him again. Artemis opened his mouth a little, trying to lure Arthur in.

Arthur stuck his tongue inside and he tasted awful. Artemis told himself not to gag, instead he accepted him.

Arthur pulled back, his mouth slightly open. Artemis saw his chance and he stretched up and licked Arthur’s lower lip, taking it into his mouth and gently nipping it.

He heard Arthur groan, and Artemis fought back a gag as he sucked slightly until enough of Arthur’s bottom lip was in his mouth.

Right between his teeth.

And then he bit down as hard as he could.

He felt the blood spurt into his mouth before he even heard Arthur’s sound of pain.

He released his lip, taking several steps back, before turning and running for the door.

Just as he had hoped, Robin didn’t stop him. He even stepped out of the way as Artemis ran towards him.

Artemis unlocked the door, racing out into the hallway. He heard Arthur’s strangled voice tell Robin to go get the physician.

He would definitely need one.

Before Artemis had turned around to run for the door, he had gotten a look at the damage he’d caused.

Arthur’s lower jaw had been dripping already, and Artemis’ bite had neatly severed a couple inches of skin, making it flap down gruesomely. 

Artemis didn’t like inflicting pain on others. He’d suffered too much of it for a lifetime. But he was proud of what he had done to the prince.

Artemis ran under one of the many stone staircases, hiding in the farthest, darkest corner. He felt like he was hyperventilating, fighting for every breath.

He waited under the staircase, thinking that at any moment he was going to hear the bells sounding an alarm, hear the guards come for him and drag him into the dungeons.

Attacking the prince was a grievous offense, even though it had been entirely self-defense. If Arthur pushed for it, Artemis could be put to death, or at least banished from the kingdom.

Arthur would probably push for his death. And Artemis had no way of telling his story before a court. He doubted the king would let him scribble a note and draw him a picture. And accusing the prince of attempted rape would probably only enrage the king. Court members had been accused of similar offenses by servants and peasants and the king only ever brushed the accusations under the rug.

Accusing the king’s own son of trying to rape another male would not be taken well.

Artemis fought not to burst into tears. He couldn’t keep living here. He had to leave as soon as possible. If it weren’t for Merlin, he’d have left the first time the prince attacked him.

He couldn’t stand the thought of being without Merlin. He was the only one who had ever taken the time to be with him, and be patient and kind to him.

Artemis wanted Merlin. He wanted to hug him and cry into his chest and beg him to leave Camelot with him tonight.

Artemis felt the prince’s blood drying on his face and he quickly wet down his sleeve with his saliva and wiped it off. There was quite a bit more on him that he had anticipated.

When he felt that he had gotten it all off, he crawled out from under the staircase and nearly ran to his and Merlin’s room.

******************************************************************************

Merlin was humming happily as he entered the physician’s quarters. He set down the glass vials he had bought for Gaius and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the table.

He heard shuffling in his room and curiously headed over to peer inside.

Artemis was on the floor, grabbing his clothes and some personal belongings and shoving them into a burlap sack. He jumped when he heard Merlin enter and then looked relieved.

Merlin, on the other hand, was very concerned. “Artemis? What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

Artemis got up and grabbed a piece of paper and thrust it into Merlin’s hands.

Merlin sat on the bed and read it as Artemis resumed packing.

His heart sank as he deciphered Artemis’ note.

Arthur had tried it again. That absolute monster, that unbelievable sociopath had gone after Artemis again.

Artemis’ note assured him that the attempt wasn’t successful, which gave Merlin some relief. Artemis got away after attacking the prince.

Artemis had written that he was scared. He wanted to go.

Merlin set the note in his lap and looked at Artemis as he continued to frantically pack his belongings. He noted the slight swelling of his right jaw and cheekbone. Merlin gritted his teeth. Arthur had hit him.

He was angry at himself for thinking they would be okay until spring. Arthur was a monster, pure and simple. He’d never leave Artemis alone. Merlin was lucky Arthur hadn’t come for  _ him _ yet, although Merlin had a decent chance of defending himself with magic discreetly.

He was proud of Artemis for fighting back. He was a little lost as to how he got away. The note didn’t explain that very well.

Merlin got up and grabbed his own spare clothes, getting the knapsack he had carried his belongings in during his journey to Camelot almost a year ago out and started putting his things in it.

Artemis noticed and Merlin saw gratitude in his eyes.

“I’d never let you leave without me.” Merlin told him, folding his clothes and stuffing them in his bag. “It’s you and me from here on out. I was so foolish. I kept thinking we’ll be okay here for a bit but we aren’t. We’ll head east. I’ll buy us some hides to keep us warm at night as well as the tent. We’ll find a town outside of Camelot to stay in-”

Artemis took a break from packing to cut Merlin off with a tight embrace. Merlin kissed his hair before gently pushing him back. “Keep packing. I’ll leave a note for Gaius if he doesn’t show up before we get out of here.”

******************************************************************************

Robin watched anxiously as Gaius expertly stitched up the wound on Arthur’s face.

Arthur had refused to leave the spare room, not wanting anyone to see the damage. Gaius had brought his needle and surgical thread, along with what Robin assumed were disinfectants and some ointments.

There was a ton of blood that Gaius struggled to keep dabbing away as he worked quickly and efficiently to sew up Arthur’s wound. Arthur refused to answer any of the physician’s questions, just demanding through slightly slurred speech that Gaius clean and stitch him up.

Arthur was seething with anger, his chest rising and falling as he stared straight ahead at nothing, sometimes wincing when the needle pierced his skin and dragged the thread through.

Robin forced himself to look at the wound. It started from the right corner of his mouth, was a straight line for about an inch, then started to curve slightly like a weird ‘J’ or the start of a ‘U’ for another half-inch or so.

Robin thought back to seeing Artemis chomp down hard on Arthur’s bottom lip; the way Arthur’s eyes shot open in shock and horror, the way Artemis had backed away quickly like he was surprised at himself for doing it, and then ran for the door, his mouth coated in the prince’s blood as Arthur covered his new wound and told Robin to get the physician.

Robin hadn’t stood in Artemis’ way at all when he made a run for it. He had felt nauseated and cold watching Arthur strike and fondle Artemis.

How many times had he begged the prince for more affection? And asked the prince to be the one to deflower him, only to be harshly rejected and scorned?

And yet the prince dragged Artemis in there, with every intention of forcing him, even making the sickening threat to have Robin help him.

Robin could never do that to another person, even at the order of a royal. He had braced himself against the door, thinking at every second he should intervene, or say something. He didn’t think he could bear to watch that happen to someone.

And then Artemis had relaxed, much to Robin’s confusion. He sensed the trick about 3 seconds before it happened. He opened his mouth to say something, a warning to Arthur, but his voice wouldn’t work and soon it was too late.

Robin thought secretly to himself that Arthur kind of deserved his wound. Although he feared for Artemis’ safety from here on out. Arthur was quietly fuming, no doubt plotting his next move against Artemis.

Gaius finished his stitching. Robin was impressed with the quality of it. The threading was tight and small, very little gapping between the threads. He fretted to himself if Arthur would be able to eat comfortably. How would he drink water? Through the unbitten side of his mouth? Robin couldn’t picture it easily.

According to Gaius’ instructions, that was pretty much the solution. Careful sips through the unstitched side, and only easy, soft food. It would be healed in a few weeks, unless something happened.

Arthur didn’t even thank Gaius, just waved him away. Gaius left him with some ointment to help it heal, gathered up his things in his bag, and left.

The second the door clicked shut, Arthur turned his stony, cold gaze to Robin. “You let him escape.” He gritted out, his words slurred.

Robin blinked in shock. “Sire, you were hurt. I didn’t know what else to do.”

Arthur looked like he was trying to sneer but didn’t have an argument about that. “Shouldn’t have trusted the little monster.” He muttered.

Robin wasn’t sure that the person trying to defend himself from an assault was technically the monster in this situation.

“Why him, sire?” Robin dared to ask. “What did he ever do to you?”

“Shut up. It’s not for you to know.”

“You said to him that you warned him about something. You told him not to tell Merlin?”

“I said shut up.” Arthur warned.

“Did you try something like this before?” Robin felt his stomach twist. “Was this not the first time?”

Arthur’s jaw tensed. “One more word out of you, and I’ll-”

“Did you… did you assault him once before? And he told Merlin?” Robin’s mind raced as he pieced things together. “You didn’t fire Merlin, did you? He quit, didn’t he?”

Despite however much pain he must have been in, Arthur jumped up fast and fisted one hand into Robin’s hair and put one under his jaw, tightening his grip until Robin thought his hair might be ripped out and his jaw might crack. He whimpered uncontrollably.

“Keep your mouth shut about all of this.” Arthur threatened. “I won’t hesitate to run you through if you tell a soul.”

He released Robin with a shove. Robin stumbled a bit before regaining his footing. He rubbed his sore jaw.

“Why Artemis, sire?” Robin just couldn’t stop the questions from pouring out. He knew Arthur was a bit of a sadist, but this was out of the realm of things Robin thought he could be capable of. “What did he ever do to you?”

Arthur ignored that, touching his stitches like they were bothering him. “I’m warning you now, Robin. You tell anyone what I did to Artemis before, or what just transpired in this room, and I will not hesitate to kill you.”

Robin knew, beyond a doubt, that the prince meant it.

Robin backed away slowly, not wanting to be near the prince any longer.

“I don’t want to see you tonight.” Arthur told him. “We won’t be doing anything together tonight.”

_ You’re damn right we won’t be _ , Robin almost said.

He didn’t want to be near the prince, now, later, or ever again.

He couldn’t serve someone who was capable of doing something like that to an innocent person.

“I should have Artemis executed for attacking me,” Arthur murmured mostly to himself.

Robin felt his stomach drop. “Sire, please don’t do that.”

“I don’t want to hear another word out of you.” Arthur snapped. “And I don’t want to see you again until you bring me my dinner.”

“I only meant, sire,” Robin struggled to find the words. “What would you charge him with?”

“Attacking the prince.” Arthur said, like it should be obvious.

“But how would you explain the wound he caused? People would be suspicious, especially if he managed to testify against you, or got Merlin to testify for him.”

Arthur gritted his teeth in agitation. It was like he hadn’t considered that. “Even if I can’t have him publicly executed, I  _ will  _ enact a proper revenge against him for this.”

_ For what?  _ Robin could have yelled at him.  _ For minding his own business until you tried to rape him? For managing to fight back? _

Robin was angry at himself for not seeing before how messed up in the head Arthur truly was.

“I understand, sire.” Robin said, trying not to argue with the prince any longer.

“You are dismissed.” Arthur sat on the edge of the bed, like he was going to be here for a bit longer. “Remember what I said before. One word to  _ anyone _ , and I  _ will  _ kill you.”

Robin bowed, trying not to let his emotions show. “I will see you tonight for your dinner, sire” He lied.

He turned and walked normally to the door, closing it behind him, and walking at a brisk pace to where he was certain Merlin and Artemis would be.

He needed to help them get out of Camelot as soon as possible.


	19. Chapter 19

Practically running, Robin made it to the physician’s chambers in only a few minutes. Robin made a beeline for Merlin and Artemis’ room, going in without knocking.

Either Merlin lived in a room with almost no personal belongings, or everything was missing.

The sheets were still on the bed, the bookshelf still full of books, some random odds and ends were on the shelves and bedside table. But no clothes or boots or anything else were to be seen.

_ Did they leave already? _ Robin wondered.

It was entirely possible. Robin knew if he were in Artemis’ shoes, he’d definitely get out as quickly as possible after his experience with the prince.

Robin checked out the window to see if maybe he could see one of them outside. The room had a good view of the town. He scanned the crowd, but he didn’t see either one of them.

_ They had to have left _ , Robin decided. He felt nothing but relieved.

_ I should probably do the same…. _

******************************************************************************

Merlin got angry at himself when he remembered far too late that Artemis didn’t own any boots.

Normally, it wasn’t too bad for him to go around barefoot. Most people did. And he was always washing his hands and feet anyway so it wasn’t an issue.

But now, needing to journey through the woods for hours at a time, possibly for a couple of days, he was bound to blister or cut his feet up.

Merlin wished he’d bought some leather flaps and twine when they were still in Camelot. He saw how sometimes people would tie the leather flaps around their feet and secure them for some protection when they couldn’t afford shoes.

He’d bought the tent material, a ridiculously expensive hide blanket, and a small knife that he gave to Artemis, along with some dried meat. But he completely forgot about Artemis’ lack of foot-covering.

But Artemis so far wasn’t minding. He hurried along, carrying his burlap sack of belongings, occasionally looking over at Merlin like he was double-checking he was actually there.

“We definitely won’t make it to a town before nightfall.” Merlin decided. The wind was picking up, and it was bitterly cold. “We should find a good place to set up camp when it starts to get dark.”

Artemis nodded his agreement. Merlin didn’t mention that he didn’t plan on sleeping tonight. There were too many dangerous things in these woods (people and animals) and he didn’t wish to be snuck upon. He’d feel better watching out for those things while Artemis got some sleep.

He was also concerned that Arthur might find out soon that they had left. He could only imagine the fit Arthur would throw. And Arthur was a skilled hunter, with hunting dogs that could track down anything. He wanted to be as far ahead of him as possible and out of Uther’s kingdom before Arthur could start tracking them.

******************************************************************************

Merlin was terrible at starting fires, especially when the wind was fighting him. He wanted to use magic, but Artemis was setting up the tent right in front of him. He would certainly find it suspicious that Merlin suddenly had a roaring fire going in a split second.

He kept at it with no luck, getting looks of pity from Artemis.

Artemis drove long sticks into the ground and draped the tent material over them. He used a rock to drive the stakes into the ground and and tether four pieces of rope to them, and then he was done.

He gave Merlin another look of sympathy when he went past him to grab the blanket. Merlin sighed and gave the fire-starting a rest for a minute.

“Could you fill up our water skeins in the stream?” He requested. He really needed magic to get the fire going and Artemis needed to be gone for him to do it. The stream wasn’t that far away and he knew Artemis would want to scrub off his hands and feet. He had a thing for cleanliness.

Artemis took the skeins and walked off. Merlin suddenly realized he should have bought some fish traps. That stream had been jumping with them when they crossed over it. Again he felt angry at himself. He wished he had been slightly more prepared when they left.

“If you know how to catch fish without any traps or tools… you could always try it.” Merlin said half-heartedly. Artemis gave him an odd look and kept walking.

Once he was a speck in the distance, Merlin used his magic and a fire instantly started blazing on the wood stacked before him. Proud of himself, he tossed some more wood on and sat back.

He hoped tomorrow would be warmer than it was today. Autumn had just begun. It shouldn’t be this cold already.

He got up to dig through his knapsack. He was carrying most everything they had of his own volition, so it had been pretty heavy even after only carrying it for a few hours.

He dug through the side of the bag and pulled out the scrying crystal. The second he unfolded it from it’s cloth, it showed it an image, almost like it had been waiting for Merlin to take it out.

The image was an unsettling one of the dragon flying freely over Camelot, using his fiery breath to torch the buildings below. It showed the terror of the townspeople as they ran and the knights firing arrows at the dragon to no avail as the dragon flew overhead, aiming it’s fire down at the knights.

The image faded and Merlin tossed the gemstone back in the bag, feeling angry.

“Sorry I took you off of your old owner, but somebody was bound to eventually,” Merlin muttered to it. “So why don’t you stop being so uncooperative?”

He should have felt silly talking to an object, but he knew it was alive and could probably hear him.

Maybe he should have been worried that the image showed the dragon free and attacking innocent townspeople, but he also knew that the dragon was trapped pretty well down under the castle, and that was not apt to change anytime soon.

Merlin pulled out some of the dried meat and bit into it. He forced himself to chew it. It tasted awful. Too gamey and salty.

Artemis returned sooner than expected, handing Merlin his water.

“Sorry I forgot to buy anything to trap food with.” He said to Artemis. Artemis only shrugged like it didn’t matter. “Fish would be great right about now.” He added, taking a swig of water to wash down the taste of the dried meat he’d just eaten.

Artemis sat very close to the fire, poking at it with a stick like he was lost in his thoughts.

Fish might not be impossible to catch if he used magic, Merlin considered. It might be difficult carrying fish back to camp in his bare hands, but it was worth a try.

It was getting darker by the minute, so Merlin decided it was now or never.

“I used to catch fish in rivers with my bare hands all the time in my old village.” Merlin lied, standing up. “I could give it a try. See if I have the talent still.”

Artemis looked unconvinced, but he seemed to be fine with the idea.

“Be back soon. Wish me luck, love.”

******************************************************************************

_ Good luck _ , Artemis thought dryly. The stream was teeming with fish, but there was no way Merlin was going to catch even one with his bare hands and no net or basket or bait.

He watched Merlin walk away. He opened up his burlap sack and pulled out the knife Merlin had bought for him. It made him feel better to have, even though he wasn’t sure how to use it against an enemy very well.

He set it beside him, sitting still in front of the fire, looking at the flames.

He pondered if the prince had figured out they had left.

He wondered if he was already trying to track them down.

He hoped the prince would just leave them be and let them start a new life, but he feared that wouldn’t be the case.

Artemis made himself stop thinking about it.

Merlin wasn’t going to catch anything anyway, so he decided to pull out some of the dried meat they had bought.

He opened up Merlin’s knapsack, bumping into something hard when he reached for some food.

Curious, he pulled out a very pretty looking quartz stone. He used to collect nice-looking stones when he was much younger. He used to have a large collection when he finally stopped.

He sat back to look it over better and appreciate the quartz.

It was amazingly smooth. Even the edges looked like they had been sanded smooth so it felt nice to run his hands over them.

He nearly dropped it when a small image faded in and became sharp and clear. It was the image of a small boy, playing in a creek and picking up stones. He realized with a jolt that it was himself when he was younger.

He watched, awestruck, as he watched himself toss various rocks and small stones around, sometimes tucking one away in a little cloth bag he had on him.

The image faded shortly after the young Artemis in the image sat in the water and started splashing around.

Artemis realized his hands were shaking and he dropped the gemstone on the ground unintentionally before scooping it back up and shoving it down in Merlin’s bag.

He went back over to the fire, head reeling, trying to understand what had just happened.

How did the gem do that? Did it read Artemis’ thoughts?

How does a gem read someone’s thoughts?

How does Merlin have it? Had it even shown him things too?

Was it technically… sorcery?

Artemis swallowed hard. He had gone his entire life without ever meeting a sorcerer or seeing a magical item. The thought of encountering someone with magic terrified him. No one should be able to do the things they do. It was unnatural.

Was that stone magic? It had to be… Was it enchanted? Was Artemis now under an enchantment because he touched it?

And why did Merlin own it?

Artemis didn’t know how long he had been sitting with his thoughts until he saw Merlin coming back with a surprising number of fish.

Merlin looked sheepish. “I guess I still have the talent.” He joked, picking up Artemis’ knife and starting to gut and de-head the fish one by one.

Artemis wasn’t even sure how to react. He’d have to have Merlin teach him how to catch fish with no tools one day….

He couldn’t help but look towards Merlin’s bag. He hoped Merin wouldn’t suspect he’d found the quartz when he went through it.

“Find some sticks we can run the fish through with and some pronged ones to balance them over the campfire.” Merlin said. Artemis got up and started looking. At least it would distract him from thinking of the gemstone.

“Wish we had something to eat with it.” He heard Merlin muse to himself. “Potatoes would be great.”

Artemis agreed, finding a good stick and picking it up.

Why did the gemstone show him an image of himself as a child?

“Gaius once cooked some fish with some herbs on the skin. Don’t remember which kind. It was delicious, though.”

Does it show Merlin things like that when he looks at it?

“I know I’ll miss Gaius’ cooking. He was good.”

Has it ever shown Merlin anything or does he just think it’s a nice stone?

“One time I went on a hunting trip with…. well, you know who…. He let me take home some rabbits. Gaius made one of the best stews I’ve ever had with it.”

But why would Merlin just carry around a random stone then? He probably saw something at least once. Artemis would probably keep the stone in that case if he had just found it lying about somewhere, despite it being magical….

“I should stop talking about food… I want rabbit stew really bad now.” Merlin sighed.

Artemis brought him some sticks and Merlin ran the ends through the freshly gutted fish while Artemis stuck the pronged sticks into the ground on either side of the campfire. Merlin propped the stick with fish on them, directly over the fire. “Now we wait,” he said, taking a sip of water.

Artemis was almost tempted to take the quartz out of Merlin’s bag and show it to him to see the reaction, but he decided against it. He didn’t want to accuse Merlin of anything, and he didn’t want them to fight. Especially not out on their first night of freedom. 

Merlin did a good, brave thing. He quit his well-paying job in an honorable servant’s position and left Camelot and his mentor, all for Artemis. It wasn’t worth it to bring up a silly thing like a quartz stone and start something.

A silly quartz stone that happened to show images to the person who picked it up.

A magical stone that Merlin just so happened to have to some reason that he had never shown Artemis.

Artemis physically shook his head to clear his mind. Merlin looked over at him and rubbed his back soothingly. “Everything okay?” He asked gently.

Artemis nodded, lying. He scooted closer to Merlin until their arms were touching and stared at the fire.

Merlin had been the first person to show him genuine kindness and human compassion even after he found out Artemis was mute. For some reason, Artemis lacking the ability to speak made people act strangely and sometimes cruelly towards him.

_ I’m  _ literally  _ a person just like you _ , Artemis would have loved to yell at people like that.  _ I’m just mute, is all. _

Artemis decided right then and there to not bring up the stone for the foreseeable future. Merlin was a good person. He was kind and compassionate and loving. Having a magical item in his possession for whatever reason didn’t change that.

He felt Merlin put his arm around Artemis’s shoulders and it made Artemis lean in and rest against him.

Merlin gave the top of his head a small kiss and it made Artemis’ heart feel warm.

He had never liked being shorter than most men, until he met Merlin. It made snuggling easier. He liked it when Merlin would approach him from behind and wrap his arms around him in a soft embrace. It made him feel secure and loved. Artemis also liked burying his face in Merlin’s neck. If he were any taller, he’d have to lean down to do it.

The smell of cooked fish started to fill the air and Artemis’ stomach growled.

“It’ll be done soon.” Merlin said.

Artemis was glad. He wanted to eat and go to bed as soon as possible. It had been an exhausting day, to put it mildly.

******************************************************************************

Artemis couldn’t help but lie on his side in the tent and watch Merlin on his back, his chest rising and falling rhythmically.

Artemis reached out a touched a piece of Merlin’s soft hair and twirled a finger in it.

Merlin opened his eyes and looked at him. “You should go to sleep.” He said in a hushed tone.

Artemis knew Merlin meant that in a platonic, caring way, but it still made him shiver and feel a little rush of heat in the pit of his stomach.

_ Merlin is so handsome _ , Artemis mused to himself, ignoring his lover’s words and continuing to trace little senseless designs in Merlin’s black hair.

Merlin hummed a little. “What are you trying to do, love?” He queried playfully. Artemis smiled coyly at him.

Merlin stretched out a little and gave Artemis’ arm a soft pat. “You really should try to sleep.” He said, very serious. “We need to start very early in the morning if we want to make it to a town by nightfall.”

Artemis knew that he was right, but he couldn’t help but admire Merlin’s features as best he could in the dark, the fire barely illuminating the inside of the tent. He wanted to touch his face, brush his fingertips on those sharp cheekbones, trace lines down his smooth, soft neck, twirl his fingers in Merlin’s thick trail of hair on his flat stomach, going further down until….

Artemis flushed red and his eyes flicked to the front of Merlin’s breeches. He bit his lip. He’d love to bury his face in Merlin’s crotch, mouthing and tugging at that lovely endowment of his…

Merlin saw where he was looking. “ _ Artemis _ .” He said scandalously, but he was definitely smiling. “Wouldn’t you want to save that for when we are at an inn?”

_ I absolutely do not _ , Artemis thought.

He raised up on one elbow, leaned over Merlin and gave him a light kiss.

Merlin accepted it, and Artemis kept going, deepening the kiss and encouraging Merlin to open his mouth a bit so Artemis could nip and suck at his lower lip.

He remembered doing this to Arthur, the way he had drawn him in until he bit down with all his might… The recent memory made him shiver and pull away from Merlin. Remembering the sensation of severing another person’s flesh between one’s teeth, even though it was a very, very evil person, was not pleasant.

Merlin’s eyes were closed. He didn’t seem to notice Artemis’ shudder or mind that he had pulled away.

Artemis pushed away the thoughts of Arthur and started pressing his mouth against Merlin’s soft neck. He tasted salty.

He sucked a mark on Merlin’s collarbone with no protest from Merlin. He liked seeing Merlin with harmless little red marks on his skin. He thought they looked cute on him.

“Kiss me again.” He heard Merlin request quietly. Artemis immediately moved back up and obliged.

How Merlin was so soft and delicate-feeling everywhere was a mystery to Artemis.

Merlin ran his hands under Artemis’ shirt and rubbed his back as they kissed. Artemis kept his mouth as closed as he could, despite Merlin encouraging him to open it with his incessant nips and licks. Artemis almost gave in when Merlin traced the seam of his mouth with the tip of his tongue, but he held fast. He  _ really  _ didn’t want to feel another person’s lip or tongue in his mouth right now.

Merlin finally gave up, and Artemis went back to his chest and stomach, pulling up his shirt and placing soft pecks all over. He straddled Merlin and was met with the possibly involuntary jerk of Merlin’s hips, pressing his arousal against Artemis’, causing them to both gasp at the feeling.

They rubbed their clothed cocks together breathlessly until they couldn’t hold out any longer. Artemis unlaced his breeches while Merlin undid his own and Artemis grabbed their two cocks together in one hand (not easy when Merlin is as well-endowed as he is), and stroked them at the same time.

It felt incredible and odd at the same time. Merlin was clearly enjoying it, as Artemis could see by the way his chest heaved and how he watched Artemis’ hand rub and pump their two cocks together.

“Could I put yours in my mouth?” Merlin requested after a minute, clearly aroused by the way his voice strained. “Get it wet and keep going?”

Artemis obliged, sliding forward and hovering over Merlin, who wasted no time taking him into his mouth and slicking up his cock with his saliva.

Merlin mouth was amazingly hot and Artemis shuddered at the sensation of his tongue sliding all around Artemis’ girth.

He could have been there until he came, but Merlin pulled away and said, “Please, do what you were doing before.” Artemis obliged.

It felt much nicer now, even with Merlin’s cock being dry, and Artemis couldn’t help but rut into his own hand even as he tried to focus on Merlin’s pleasure.

Merlin wet his finger and ran his fingertip over his own cockhead, then Artemis’. Artemis was super sensitive already, especially there, and he gasped at the delicate touch.

Merlin was dripping onto his own stomach, and Artemis wiped up some of the liquid with his free hand and sucked it off of his fingers, watching Merlin’s reaction as he did so. Merlin always loved seeing Artemis enjoying the way he tasted.

He felt Merlin’s cock grow hotter and stiffer in his hand and he let go of his own cock to focus on bringing Merlin to completion first. Merlin went ahead and grabbed Artemis’ cock and pumped it as well, even as he was twitching his hips and panting, watching what Artemis was doing with rapt attention.

Merlin came first, not surprisingly. His lovely seed came out in thick spurts and got all over his hand, as well as his stomach.

Artemis slid off of Merlin, forcing Merlin to release Artemis’ cock. Artemis was aching to cum, but he took a moment to slide his mouth onto Merlin’s softening erection and suck it softly, tasting the delightful saltiness of his cum.

“Too much, Artemis, too much.” Merlin panted, gently pushing Artemis’ head away from his crotch. “I’m really sensitive right now.”

Artemis pulled off reluctantly, and instead lapped up Merlin’s seed on his stomach. He took Merlin’s hand and sucked the seed off of it as well.

“So gorgeous. Look at you.” Merlin said breathlessly, like he was in awe of Artemis. “Let me help you now. Please.”

Hearing Merlin practically beg to help Artemis reach his own completion made Artemis’ cock twitch again. He laid down and Merlin grabbed his cock at once, stroking it and watching Artemis’ expressions.

Artemis was shaking as he came, both because of the intense way Merlin watched him, and the perfect strokes and gentle touch of Merlin’s hand on him.

He wasn’t shocked to see Merlin cleaning off his hand of Artemis’ cum. Merlin often told Artemis how good he tasted, and how much he loved swallowing it when he would perform oral favors for Artemis. It made Artemis feel flattered. Merlin loved singing Artemis’ praises whenever he had the chance.

Merlin was kissing Artemis again before he knew it, cupping his face. Artemis cupped Merlin’s face as well, stroking those sharp cheekbones with his thumb.

“You need to sleep, Artemis.” Merlin said, pulling away after several minutes. Artemis’ lips felt swollen. He could have kept kissing Merlin all night. “We need to be up by daybreak, if not before.”

Artemis reluctantly got comfortable on the blanket again after lacing up his breeches. Merlin went out to put some more wood on the fire, and found Artemis fast asleep by the time he came back.

******************************************************************************

Merlin was  **_not_ ** going to make Artemis sleep on the ground again tonight. They would sleep in a proper room tonight if Merlin had anything to say about it. And they would eat a proper, good meal.

Artemis had denied that his feet were hurting, or that he was tired of walking, but Merlin could tell by his demeanor that he was exhausted.

They saw a sign pointing in the direction of a town by late afternoon. Both Merlin and Artemis’ spirits lifted. Their spirits dropped again when it started raining not ten minutes later.

Merlin tried not to think about how wet all of their belongings would be by the time they got to the town. He made himself think of a soft bed and hot soup and cuddling with Artemis.

The town came into view and it was not as small as Merlin was assuming it would be. Nowhere close to the size of Camelot, but still an impressive town.

Merlin asked the first person they came across where the inn was and then headed in that direction. He couldn’t help but notice Artemis’ shivers from the cold rain. He entertained the idea of wrapping Artemis in the thick hide blanket until he regretfully realized it was probably soaked and would need to be hung up in front of the fireplace in their room.

Merlin and Artemis entered the inn, being ignored by everyone else in there. They approached the innkeeper.

“Can we get a room, please?” Merlin asked him.

The innkeeper took them over to where he had the keys to the rooms and told them the price for a double bed room.

“We would like a single bed.” Merlin said, without thinking.

The innkeeper narrowed his eyes at them. He looked at Artemis like he was suspicious of him.

“Because…. They are usually cheaper. Are they cheaper? We don’t have a lot of money.” Merlin backtracked.

The innkeeper took his time replying. “Yes. They are cheaper.” He glanced back and forth between the two of them. “You two brothers?”

“No.” Merlin said automatically. Then he cursed himself internally. “Cousins.” He ‘corrected’ himself. “We’re cousins. We’re just passing through for a night or two on our way to visit a relative.”

“Hm.” The innkeeper grabbed a different key and told them the new price. Merlin paid it, making sure not to let the innkeeper see the decent amount of coins he actually had.

“Up the stairs. Turn to the right. Room at the very end of the hall.” The innkeeper told them, pocketing the coins.

“Do you have food as well?” Merlin asked.

“We have soup going right now.” The innkeeper motioned toward the back wall where a cauldron hung over the fireplace. “You’re allowed to help yourself when you rent the room.”

Merlin thanked him, going up the stairs to put away their things first. Artemis followed closely behind.

Merlin got to the room and unlocked the door, dropping his knapsack to the ground the second he was in the room. It was even heavier after it got soaked by the rain. He opened it up and pulled out the hide blanket. It wasn’t as wet as he had thought it would be, but it would still need to dry in front of the fireplace.

Merlin took a look around the room. For the low cost, it was pretty nice. The fire was lit already, there was an empty bowl and a pitcher full of water with a rag so they could clean up, which he thought would make Artemis happy.

There were even two blankets on the bed.

Artemis started warming himself in front of the fire as soon as he dropped his own burlap bag. He was shivering a bit.

Merlin pulled one of the blankets off the bed. “Hang up your clothes, love.” He told Artemis. “You can dry them while you get warm in front of the fire.”

Artemis pulled off his wet shirt and hung it up. He peeled off his breeches and Merlin wrapped the blanket around him as soon as he was completely bare.

“Get warm, love.” Merlin said. “I’ll get us some food.”

Artemis gave him a look and tugged pointedly at the hem of Merlin’s wet shirt.

“I’ll dry after we get food.” Merlin said. He didn’t want to admit how cold he was and how eager he was to pull off his wet boots and clothes and wrap up in the blanket with Artemis in front of the fire. But he was also starving and so was Artemis.

Artemis sat in front of the fireplace again and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. Merlin headed out to get the food for them.

******************************************************************************

As soon as Merlin was gone from the room, Artemis stood back up and started looking around the room.

He spotted the pitcher and was tempted to go ahead and wash off, but he had been walking in the rain for nearly an hour and was pretty sure that, except for his feet, he was already clean enough. He also wasn’t keen on wetting himself down right now.

The bed looked soft. There were even some plain candles on each bedside table. There was a nice view outside, despite the rain, but Artemis didn’t want to linger in front of the window, wrapped up in just a blanket.

He almost missed the small mirror on one of the tables. He looked at himself in it. His hair was messy; soaking wet and sticking up in every direction. His face was flushed and he looked so tired.

Artemis set the mirror back down. He wondered what Merlin thought of how he looked right now.

He knew he was very plain, despite Merlin calling him ‘pretty’ and giving him constant compliments.

Merlin, on the other hand, was constantly good-looking, no matter what he was doing, or how tired he was, or how long he had been outside. Artemis always thought he looked so amazing and handsome.

Artemis sighed and went back to the fire. Their own blanket was hanging to dry, although he doubted it would be dry by the time they went to bed.

He was dying to eat some good food. The fish last night had been… okay… but they lacked real flavor and were rather dry. His stomach growled at the thought of hot soup.

He heard the door open and Merlin came in, carefully balancing two bowls in his hands. Artemis wondered how he had gotten the door open with two full hands.

“It’s hot, could you…?” Merlin held out one bowl and Artemis stood up to take it from him.

Artemis took several sips as Merlin set his own bowl down and started taking off his clothes.

He pulled his boots off first, then his breeches and scarf, and finally his shirt. He hung them up next to Artemis’ clothes and Artemis sipped at his soup while he appreciatively watched Merlin shamelessly walk back to where his bowl was, pick it up, and sit in front of the fire.

Artemis joined him, giving him half the blanket and they watched the flames as they drank their soup.

It tasted amazing, whether that was from the recent lack of good food or because it was actually good soup, Artemis couldn’t be sure.

“The rain will have washed our scent away, I think.” Merlin mentioned. “Even Arthur’s dogs would have trouble picking up our trail.”

Artemis hoped he was right. He didn’t like the thought of the prince and his hunting dogs on their trails like they were his prey.

“I’m so tired.” Merlin admitted. “I’ll need a nap after this.”

The sun was barely setting, but Artemis understood. Merlin had been carrying all the heavy things this whole way.

“I didn’t sleep very well last night.” Merlin added. “I was trying to stay awake. You know, just in case.”

Artemis gave him a scolding look. He understood why Merlin would do that, but being sleep-deprived helps no one.

Merlin finished his soup. “If I weren’t so tired, I’d get a second one.” Merlin said, wiping his mouth off with his hand. “Did you want another?”

Artemis did, but he wanted Merlin to get some sleep more, so he shook his head.

“Fair enough.” Merlin stood, letting the blanket fall, and again Artemis took his sweet time watching him go to the bed and crawl under the covers.

Artemis decided to join him a moment later, spooning him tightly and falling asleep within minutes.

******************************************************************************

_ Artemis’ dream was sharp and crystal clear. He saw his mother carrying him around when he was an infant, making sure he was wrapped tightly and secure against her. _

_ The dream made him feel happy, seeing his mother again, hearing her talk softly to him as she carried him all over the small hut they used to live in together. _

_ The dream shifted and Artemis, still an infant, was being held by someone he didn’t recognize from his village. It was an incredibly large, formidable-looking man, holding him and looking down at him with nothing but pride and love in his eyes. _

_ It wasn’t until his mother joined the picture, pressing up against this stranger and asking him what he thought of Artemis that Artemis realized that this man was supposed to be his father. _

_ He had never met his father, and his mother never mentioned him to Artemis growing up. Artemis had always assumed his father had either run off or never knew of his son’s existence. _

_ Despite Artemis’ greatest efforts to stop it, the dream started to fade away. _

******************************************************************************

Artemis woke up to a dark room and a dying fire. He stretched and rolled onto his back, puzzled by his dream.

He had never dreamed up his father before. And maybe he still hadn’t. It was hard for him to believe that warrior-like, impossibly tall man that held him in his dream was his real-life father. It had to be something that his exhausted brain cooked up out of nowhere.

Artemis got up to put more wood on the fire. The room was cold now, and he shivered as he poked at the fire to bring it to life again.

Merlin’s bag was right beside him. Artemis glanced back at Merlin, who was still deep asleep, and reached in to pull out the gemstone.

He felt warm as soon as he touched it. He brought it closer to the fire to see it better, and again, it showed him an image.

He almost dropped it on the stone floor when he saw that man from his dream in the image. The man was sitting in a chair, being handed Artemis as an infant, cradling him close softly. He was talking, and Artemis hated that he couldn’t hear his voice.

The image went away after several seconds, and Artemis held the stone for a few minutes after until it became clear that he was not going to see anything again.

Artemis shoved it back into the bag.

The man in his dream  _ had  _ been his actual father, Artemis decided. But how did the gemstone know anything like that about Artemis’ life? What kind of power did it draw on?

Artemis had a hard time believing the quartz was wicked, after it showed him such a happy image. It may have even been responsible for the dream. Despite Artemis fearing magic and it’s users, the quartz might not be inherently evil… Or at least, it wished no harm to Artemis.

The room was getting warmer now, and Artemis crawled back into bed with Merlin, who was so fast asleep that he didn’t stir as Artemis wrapped his arm around him and squeezed him a little before resting his head against him.

He wondered if his father was still out there somewhere. Maybe he was destined to find him.

He was curious as to why his mother never spoke of him.

He wondered if he was anything like his father.

He wondered, if his father was still alive, if he would be disappointed in how Artemis had turned out.

Artemis knew he wasn’t much. He was shorter than most men, he had no natural talents, and he was mute. And he hadn’t had the best life up until he met Merlin.

Maybe it would be best if he never met his father. He could be content with only seeing images. You can’t disappoint an image. And an image can’t disappoint you.

Artemis closed his eyes even though he wasn’t tired. Maybe he would fall asleep again.

Maybe he could see more of his father.

******************************************************************************

_ Merlin awoke, feeling that something was wrong. He sat up, looking around the room. _

_ Artemis sat on the edge of the bed, slightly hunched over. _

_ “Love,” Merlin started to say, reaching out to touch him. _

_ He heard Artemis make a pained sound he hadn’t been aware he could even make. _

_ “Artemis? Look at me.” Merlin pleaded with him. _

_ Artemis turned slightly to face him, his face white as a ghost. His hands covered his stomach and Merlin realized that his shirt and hands were soaked in blood. _

_ “Artemis, no-” Merlin swallowed, grabbing his hands without thinking and pulling them away from his stomach. _

_ Artemis’ entrails fell out onto his lap and Artemis made another pained sound. _

_ Merlin stood up in shock and realized his legs were wobbly. He tried to grab onto something for balance, and instead he fell down- _

_ ****************************************************************************** _

Merlin awoke with a gasp before his dream-self hit the ground. He immediately rolled over, bumping into Artemis, who sniffled and pulled back to avoid being hit in the face by Merlin’s arm.

Artemis gave him a quizzical look and Merlin realized he was panting.

“I- I had a bad dream. Sorry.” Merlin said. Artemis gave him a sympathetic look and patted him on the arm.

Merlin couldn’t help but look him over quickly. That dream had him shaking still. But Artemis looked just fine.

Merlin looked around the room. The fire was still roaring, or maybe Artemis had just tended to it recently.

Merlin should have realized it was a dream sooner. For starters, they had gone to bed naked, and the Artemis in his dream was wearing clothes. Also, Artemis couldn’t make the sounds his dream-version had. But it was still terrifying.

He was  _ this  _ close to throwing out that stupid gemstone. He hadn’t had a dreamless night since he picked it up. And they were all horrific nightmares. But making him dream that Artemis was dying? That was a step too far.

Artemis gently rubbing his chest brought him to reality. Merlin placed his own hand on top of his. “Sorry.” He said again. Artemis gave him a kiss on the cheek and rubbed his nose cutely against his cheekbone. The action made Merlin smile.

It was completely dark outside. Merlin guessed it might be close to midnight. He regretted sleeping so long. He should have asked Artemis to wake him up sooner.

Merlin sat up. He could still hear the rain pouring. He hoped he was right about before and it was washing their scent away. That is, if Arthur was even looking for them at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long to write and post.


	20. Chapter 20

_ Several hours previously, in Camelot: _

Arthur didn’t want to have dinner with his father. He hated anyone seeing the ghastly wound and stitches he had on his lip. And eating was an unpleasant, sometimes painful, chore.

But he would have to endure it if he wanted his father’s permission to go on a ‘hunting trip’.

Arthur chewed his boar meat carefully on one side of his mouth before swallowing and starting to speak.

“Father,” he began, wincing at the slight slur to his speech. “I’ve heard reports of some good hunting grounds further north of here. I’d like to head out as soon as possible before the game has moved on or been hunted to nothing.”

King Uther looked at him like he’d lost his mind. “Absolutely not. Arthur, where has your head been recently? King Bayard of Mercia will be here in less than a week’s time. We’ve been preparing for his arrival for nearly two weeks. I can’t have you running off to go chase deer up north right now.”

Arthur internally cursed himself for forgetting. They had confirmed a meeting with King Bayard nearly three months ago. His thoughts had been consumed by Robin, Merlin, and Artemis lately.

His father went on. “I’m serious, Arthur. Where has your head been? Every time I try to talk with you, you seem distracted. It’s been going on for far too long.”

“I’m sorry, Father.” Arthur said. “I wasn’t thinking of our meeting with Bayard after I was told about the hunting grounds up north.”

“And now you have this-” King Uther gestures towards his stitches, “-gash on your face you claim is from ‘training’. You’ve never been injured like that during training.”

“Accidents happen, Father.” Arthur’s voice was tight. He had been questioned by multiple people about his wound and he always insisted it was from training. He never offered any more details than that.

The fury and hatred towards Artemis only grew every time he remembered the way that whore had tricked him and the blindingly painful sensation of his lip and skin being severed by the stable boy’s teeth.

“Try and get yourself together for Bayard’s visit.” King Uther snapped at him. “Try and act like a proper prince instead of having your head in the clouds. I won’t have you embarrass me while he’s here.”

“Yes, Father.”

“I hope that gash heals before he gets here.” King Uther muttered, mostly to himself. “I don’t want him thinking that you’re an incompetent warrior who gets hurt just training.”

Arthur gritted his teeth. “I’ll make sure he won’t think that, Father. Gaius told me the stitches won’t be out for a few weeks, however.”

“Just our luck. You better make up for your clumsiness in other ways. I want you to be on your best behavior. I want him to be impressed when he sees our kingdom and our court.”

“He’s been here before, Father.”

“But not while you’ve been like… this.”

Arthur tensely cut another bite of meat. Terrible timing, Bayard visiting right after Merlin and Artemis left so Arthur couldn’t track them right away. The trail would be cold by the time Arthur would be able to go after them. Even his dogs had their limits on what they could track.

Arthur could not and would not let them get away with this. Artemis was not going to attack the prince and just run off with no consequences.

And Merlin was not going to help him do it and expect Arthur to sit back and let him.

And Robin, well… Arthur smiled a little to himself. Robin was already getting his just desserts for attempting to abandon the prince.

******************************************************************************

Arthur sent a servant to fetch him another plate of dinner from the kitchens after he had gone to his room for the evening.

He sat in his chair and waited calmly while the events of the previous day replayed in his head.

_ Arthur had gone to Merlin’s room a couple of hours after he had been stitched up. He hadn’t seen Robin since he had left Arthur’s side. _

_ He ignored Gaius, who was sitting at the table with a letter in his lap, breezing past him and going into Merlin’s room. _

_ It was empty. _

_ Merlin had run away. _

_ And he wouldn’t have done it without Artemis. _

_ Arthur turned around, exiting the room. The letter in Gaius’ hands was of interest to him now. _

_ “Hand it over,” he said to Gaius, his hand out, demanding the letter. _

_ “I know you’re the prince, but some things-” _

_ Arthur roughly wrenched the letter out of his hands and read it quickly. _

_ The letter was from Merlin. It had everything in it. What Arthur had done to Artemis nearly two months ago. How scared Merlin had been that he would do it again. How Merlin had tried to protect Artemis from getting hurt any further. _

_ Merlin called himself a fool in the letter for continuing to work for Arthur after Artemis told him what Arthur had done and how he wasn’t taking any chances anymore with Artemis’ safety. _

_ To Arthur’s dismay, Merlin included the prince’s second rape attempt, calling it ‘the last straw’ and he and Artemis had to leave Camelot permanently. _

_ The only thing the letter didn’t say was where Merlin and Artemis were going. _

_ “I’ll be taking this with me.” Arthur crumpled up the paper in his hand as he spoke to the physician. “If you tell anyone what you read in this letter, you’ll regret it.” _

The servant returned with the plate of food. Arthur dismissed her and left his room, heading down into the dungeons with the food.

******************************************************************************

_ Technically _ , people weren’t allowed to be held in the dungeons if the king hadn’t officially convicted them of any crimes.

But Arthur’s father didn’t always remember everyone who had been thrown in the dungeons. Or for what.

Arthur walked past all the cells, getting to the very last one. The one Robin was in.

_ Arthur had gotten suspicious that he hadn’t seen Robin since he had left his side after Arthur was stitched up. Especially now that Merlin and Artemis had run off. _

_ He tried to tell himself he was being paranoid, that Robin would never… but he remembered the look in Robin’s face when Arthur had Artemis in the room. The horrified faces he made as Arthur fondled and struck and forcibly kissed Artemis. And the way Robin had argued with him afterwards…. _

_ Arthur asked around until a serving girl told him she had seen Robin with a sack slung over his shoulder, hurrying out of the castle. _

_ Arthur had caught up to Robin in the lower towns, where the servant was buying a water skein. The look on Robin’s face when he saw Arthur… the defeated, scared look as Arthur grabbed his arm and pulled him back to the castle…. _

Robin had his hands tied behind his back, and a gag in his mouth. He was sitting against the wall, perking up when he saw Arthur.

“Can’t have you starving down here while I decide what to do with you.” Arthur told him, setting the food down. “Even if you did break your promise to me and try to leave me.”

Apparently, according to Robin, the servant had gone back and forth on whether or not to leave. He had packed and unpacked, debated on whether to leave now or in the middle of the night.

Why he told Arthur all of this was a mystery. The tone in his voice was defeat, like he was pissed at himself for not leaving sooner, for giving Arthur the chance to be suspicious and catch up to him.

If he was in Robin’s shoes, he’d be kicking himself too.

Arthur approached him, starting to untie his hands. “If you try to shout, or swing at me, or make any attempts to escape while I’m here, the bindings go right back on and I leave you here to rot, understood?”

Robin nodded, rubbing his wrists when his hands were free. Arthur ungagged him. “Go ahead and eat.” He ordered.

Arthur took some kind of perverse pleasure in watching Robin eat on the floor with his hands. He observed Robin as he devoured the food greedily. Well, it  _ had  _ been over a day since he had last eaten…

Arthur waited until he finished before speaking. “I can’t believe you tried to leave me.”

“I’m sorry, sire.”

“After you promised me you never would.” Arthur kept his voice neutral and calm as he stood watching Robin on the floor, squirming under Arthur’s gaze and words.

“I wasn’t thinking-”

“But you  _ were _ thinking. You were thinking I was wrong for what I did with Artemis. Weren’t you?”

“I just- I was shocked is all. I’m happy to serve you. Honest. I’ll do whatever you want from here on out. Promise.”

“Promise?” Arthur scoffed. Hearing Robin say that made him even angrier. “Your promises mean nothing to me anymore. You tried to leave me. Just like they did. Which means you’re on their side. Aren’t you?”

“No!” Robin insisted, starting to stand up.

“ **Don’t you dare stand** .” Arthur snapped at him. Robin went still instantly. “ **You stay right where you are** .”

“I’m not on their side at all, sire.” Robin said again, this time softer and more sad. “I was just shocked. I was scared.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Robin blinked up at him. “I mean… you  _ did  _ try to rape somebody….”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “It’s not like it would have been the first time for him. He also attacked me before. And convinced Merlin to leave me.”

“I feel like… that’s not really a valid reason, sire.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “So you  _ are  _ on his side.”

“I’m not!”

“You’re defending his actions! You’re only telling me what I want to hear because you want me to let you out. But the second I do, you’ll try to run. Again.”

“I swear, I won’t! I’ll keep serving you!”

“Tell me the truth right now.” Arthur said. “And be honest with me. Do you think I was wrong for tricking Artemis into seeing me? Do you think I was wrong for what I tried to do?”

Robin kept his head down. He wouldn’t look at Arthur. “... Yes. You were.”

“So by thinking that, you side with them.”

“I’m on the side of human decency, sire.” Robin’s facade of grovelling before the prince was gone. Arthur had known it was all an act anyway. “I knew you were a bit sadistic. But I thought it was only towards me. I thought we had a special bond. That we understood each other. I thought… I was special and important to you. And I fell in love with you for it.”

Arthur snorted in disgust.

“I did.” Robin insisted. “And you mocked me for it. And you barely gave me anything in return. And you made me hate myself for my desires and attraction towards men. And I let you.”

“Your speech is boring me.”

“I didn’t think you were the monster you revealed yourself to be yesterday, in that room, with Artemis. He only ever tried to defend himself from you. And for that you insist on going after him again and again.” Robin took a breath. “And all those times you degraded me and scorned me when I would beg for you to show me some normal affection… and you always said that to do that you would be defiling yourself. But you would  _ rape  _ someone? And that’s just okay to you?”

Arthur couldn’t stand to hear him talk another second. He approached him swiftly, back-handing him harder than he ever had before. He grabbed him by the hair and made him look up at him. “I am the prince of Camelot. What I choose to do with my own subjects is not of your concern. Your job is to serve me and to do as I say.  _ Especially  _ when I honor you with my attentions and even make you my personal servant. And instead of doing the most  _ basic  _ instructions, you instead side with a dirty stable boy and a peasant over me. After all I’ve given you? After fulfilling your sickening desires? After having you in my chambers night after night and letting you in my bed?” Arthur felt burning hot rage fill his entire core. “I’ve never been so betrayed in all my life. I ask for  _ one  _ thing. Just your loyalty. And instead you decide to betray me.”

Arthur slung him back by his hair. Robin landed on his back on the stone floor with a thud and a groan. “No one will ever give you what I gave you.” Arthur spat. “You’re a degenerate. You’re a repulsive, revolting creature with unsavory attractions and desires. I treated you _so well._ More than you ever deserved. And you threw it back in my face. And now, you’re destined to be alone. An unloved, undesirable, absolute horrid mess of a human being.”

He saw Robin’s chest rise up and down. He wondered for a moment if he had accidentally knocked him out after slinging him back against the ground.

Then Robin spoke. “With all due respect, sire, you’re going to be a terrible king one day.”

Arthur saw red. He gripped the handle of his dagger. Every cell in his body wanted him to stab Robin right in the throat. Just end it for him, right here, right now.

With great effort, he released the handle, making himself breathe deeply and clear his head. “For that,” he gritted out. “You’ll stay down here until you die. They’ll drag your corpse out and burn you like every other criminal who has died down here. It’s less than you deserve.” Arthur grabbed the gag and tied it around Robin’s mouth again. Robin just lay there limply, making no effort to fight back as Arthur tied his hands once more. For good measure, Arthur spat on his face before standing back up.

“This is the last time you’ll see me.” Even as Arthur said that, he felt a twinge of sadness. Robin had fulfilled him in so many ways before his betrayal. In a way, he would miss him.

But there would be other Robins, surely, the prince told himself, leaving the cell and locking it behind him.

He forced himself not to look back. Robin was dead to him. And he would be dead without water in a few days anyway. Might as well get used to him not being around starting now.

******************************************************************************

Arthur was walking past a window when the rain started. At first, he thought nothing of it. Then he realized the rain would make the scent nearly impossible for his dogs to track. This made him furious all over again.

Bayard of Mercia be damned. If Arthur left Artemis get away for good, it would haunt him for the rest of his life. Artemis would be out there somewhere, living some boring farm life, probably with Merlin, knowing he had gotten away with what he had done to the prince.

The longer Arthur waited, the harder they would be to track. Arthur didn’t even know which direction to go to begin the search. He assumed west. Possibly east. Definitely not north, with winter on its way. They’d be foolish to head there.

Arthur grabbed a servant and ordered him to saddle up Arthur’s mare. He made another servant pack him a bag with plenty of clothes and waterskins and some food from the kitchen in another bag.

He decided against taking his dogs after all. With the rain, they’d have a hard time finding a trail anyway, and then Arthur would just have some dogs to take care of for who knows how long. He had tried to get his dogs to run a trail in a heavy downpour before, and it had never worked out well.

He couldn’t waste anymore time. He didn’t care about what his father was going to say when he returned after finally enacting vengeance on Artemis. He just thought about tracking them down, finding wherever they had settled, and giving them exactly what they deserved.

******************************************************************************

Arthur was getting more and more pissed off as he led his horse through the town. He had stopped by various merchant stalls, some of which were closing up due to the rain, and asked if they had seen a tall, scrawny, dark-haired man with a smaller, young looking man in tow yesterday afternoon. None of them had. Some of them knew Merlin by name, since he had been the physician’s assistant for several months and he had probably helped Gaius treat some of them. But they hadn’t seen him at all.

The rain bothered Arthur more than he thought it would. He nearly slipped in the mud earlier. He kept blinking the rain out of his eyes.

He planned on riding the whole night through, stopping for short breaks rarely. He could sleep during the day in the first town he found while his horse rested up.

Coming to the edge of town, after exhaustively asking nearly everyone he saw if they had seen Merlin the other day, he was starting to wonder if he should even try today. He could always try after Bayard left in a couple of weeks…

But Merlin and Artemis would be even farther away. And it would be even colder. And he might have to delay it again. What if his father kept refusing to let him go on whatever mission Arthur made up?

Arthur hesitated on the edge of the forest. Which way to go?

Merlin was from the west. They might head there. But maybe they would know that Arthur would head there first so it wouldn’t be safe.

They would not have gone north. It would be a fool’s death wish to head north right before winter.

Any further south they would still be in Uther’s kingdom.

The best bet was east.

Even so, Arthur sat on his mare at the edge of the forest, doubting himself and the wisdom of running off without his father’s permission or knowledge. He mentally went through his supplies and the money he had brought with him. He wondered how long it would take to find Merlin and Artemis, especially if he was headed in the exact opposite direction… his father would send a search party after him…

Arthur would be angry at himself for delaying the hunt any longer. He would head east. Surely he would find some tracks in the rain. Maybe the remains of a campfire. Surely they weren’t going to be so thorough as to not leave  _ something  _ behind.

Arthur snapped the reins and directed the horse east. He cleared his mind of doubts. He put his focus on the immense satisfaction he would feel running Artemis through with his sword.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: In Arthurian legend, King Uther was actually quite a mad king. He was also an alcoholic.  
> I realized that with Arthur starting to favor his wine and slowly let his obsession Artemis and Merlin drive him mad, I was kind of doing a nod to King Uther's story in the original legend.  
> Anyway, I thought it was cool so I'm giving myself a pat on the back for unintentionally referencing Original Legend King Uther in Arthur's madness.


	21. Chapter 21

Artemis laid his head on Merlin’s chest, listening to his heart rate gradually go back to normal.  
Artemis had been dozing on and off for a few hours until Merlin jerked awake and nearly whacked him in the face with his arm.  
Now, Merlin was laying on his back, trying to relax. He didn’t tell Artemis what he had dreamed about, although Artemis was curious to know. Maybe he had dreamed Arthur found them? That would warrant the reaction he’d had when he woke up.  
The rain was still pounding against the window, and Artemis was beginning to hate the sound. It was incessant and had only increased in its intensity throughout the night.  
“Maybe we should have taken some horses from the stables back in Camelot.” Merlin murmured. Artemis wrinkled his forehead and shook his head. “I know,” Merlin sighed, “It’s a good thing we didn’t. Horse theft being punishable by death and all that….. but my feet are killing me right now. It would be nice to have something to ride instead of walking the whole way.”  
Artemis had to agree. He didn’t own any shoes, never had, and his feet were aching as he lay there in bed.  
“Would have given Arthur more of an excuse to follow us, if he didn’t have one already…” Merlin continued. “Do you think he’s actually after us?”  
Artemis shrugged. The prince would have a team of knights and horses if he was trying to find them. They would have been overtaken by now. Then again, he wouldn’t have a clue which direction to go…  
If they got out of King Uther’s kingdom, he would be unable to keep going after them. Legally, anyway. Kings don’t look kindly on other kingdom’s princes trespassing in their kingdoms.  
The sooner they got out of Uther’s kingdom, the better.  
“I kind of want to stay another night… spend the day here, buying things we missed in Camelot.” Merlin said. Artemis agreed. “It’ll give us time to recoup from travelling.” Merlin tried to run his fingers through Artemis’ tangled, coarse hair. “And we can buy you a comb.” He joked. Artemis smirked.  
The top of Artemis’ foot itched, so he absently scratched it and felt some dried mud crumble off onto the bed. He sat up quickly with a gasp. He’d forgotten to wash up before he went to bed.  
“Artemis? Everything okay?” Merlin asked, worried, as Artemis grabbed the spare blanket and wrapped it around himself, getting out of bed.  
Artemis poured the water from the pitcher into the bowl and wet the rag in it. He sat on the floor, using the moonlight to scrub the dirt from his feet.  
He hated seeing dirt and such on his hands and feet. Despite the fact that he used to clean stables barefoot, he was always rinsing off intermittently throughout the day at one of the pumps.  
He probably looked so gross right now, dirty and unhygienic, sitting on the floor, desperately trying to clean himself. Gods, he’d even had his hands on Merlin’s chest just minutes ago, running his fingers along the smooth, dark hair.  
He continued to mentally berate himself for being uncleanly and going to bed like this. He heard the bed creak and Merlin was sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed, watching him.  
Artemis got one foot clean. He dipped the rag in the water again and started on the other foot.  
There was dirt caked under his fingernails. Artemis felt some tears prick at his eyes and he held them back. He probably looked just like them, the way they had, all those years ago. They were always unwashed and dirty everywhere, but especially on their fingers, which they loved to force into Artemis’ mouth. He could taste the grime and filth, even now.  
The other foot was finally clean. Artemis felt his panic start to subside as he rinsed the rag again and rubbed his hands with the rag, using a corner to wipe the dirt out from his nails.  
Artemis started to feel better and better as his hands became clean. He opened the window of the room and dumped the dirty water outside. He let the rain rinse the bowl and rag clean and then shut the window again.  
He looked at Merlin, who was chewing the inside of his lip like he was trying to think of what to say.  
Artemis went ahead and used the rag to wipe down his face, arms and legs. He was hoping for a proper bath later that day, but this would be good for now.  
He finally put everything away, wishing he had a proper towel or something to dry off with.  
“Artemis.” Merlin said at last. He held out his arms. “Come here.”  
Artemis rubbed his arm to show he was still wet.  
“I don’t care. Come here.” Merlin insisted.  
Artemis put the blanket back around himself and got back in bed, getting close to Merlin, who wrapped his arms around him.  
“You know I love you, right? Whether you’re covered head to toe in mud or just fresh from the lake. I love you.” Merlin told him, looking very serious.  
Artemis nodded, feeling himself grow warm when Merlin said he loved him again.  
 _It’s not that I don’t think that_ , Artemis wanted to say, _I just can’t stand the thought of being like_ them.  
“I’ve never seen anyone as obsessed with being clean as you.”  
 _That’s sad_.  
“Let alone jumping out of bed just to scrub down in the middle of the night.”  
Now Artemis felt like he was being shamed for being hygienic. He lowered his eyes.  
“I’m sorry… that came out meaner than I meant it.” Merlin backtracked. “I just thought you jumping out of bed suddenly to wash up was… odd.” He rubbed Artemis’s back. “Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with you being so cleanly. It’s cute, even.”  
Artemis smiled a bit.  
“Forget I said anything.” Merlin said. “When the sun comes up, we’ll see about finding a lake nearby to wash up in. I could probably use one. At least I didn’t forget to pack soap.”  
Artemis pulled away from him, noticing the room was a bit colder. The fire was dying again.  
He got up, readjusting the blanket around himself, and tossed some more wood onto the fire. He looked at the clothes they had hung up in front of the fire hours before and they were perfectly dry.  
He pulled them all down, draping them over the chair in the corner of the room.  
The hide blanket was still slightly damp, and he hoped it wouldn’t sour.  
Artemis remembered that he still had some clothes in the bottom of his bag that probably needed drying as well. He opened his bag up and reached inside, brushing up against wet, soggy parchment.  
He felt his heart sink. He had completely forgotten about the paper he had folded up and shoved in the bag while he was packing.  
Hoping it wasn’t too bad, he pulled out some pieces of parchment. His chest filled with disappointment when he saw all the ink had run, ruining the words from his literacy lessons and the art he had drawn.  
“Artemis, I’m so sorry.” Artemis heard Merlin get out of bed and go over to him.  
Artemis threw his parchment to the ground, wanting to cry. Not only were the literacy lessons that Geoffrey had carefully written out for him gone, the art he had worked on for the last few weeks was gone, too. He had a few drawings of Merlin, several of flowers and trees, some birds… and now they were completely ruined.  
“If we are careful,” Merlin said, picking up the wet paper from the floor, “We could unfold the paper and put it in front of the fire to dry it off. The ink may be ruined, but since it ran to the bottom of the pages, at least we can reuse most of the parchment when it dries.”  
It was better than nothing, Artemis supposed. Merlin started unfolding and laying the paper on the floor a few feet from the fire. “And I know how to read and write. I’ll try to recreate what Geoffrey had written for you.”  
Artemis gave him a grateful look. He had learned a lot from Geoffrey in their brief time together, and he was even able to recognize some of the signs hanging outside buildings and read some book titles. But he liked having the things Geoffrey had written up for him anyway, just to go over in his spare time.  
After the parchment was spread neatly in front of the fire to dry, Merlin gave Artemis a kiss. “I know your drawings were ruined, but once the papers dry, you can make more. I love seeing your drawings.”  
Artemis smiled a little, but the pain of his art being gone wasn’t diminished. He had worked so hard on those pieces….  
Merlin gave him another kiss. “Let’s hang up the rest of our wet things and go back to bed, my sweet.” He said.  
Artemis dumped out the rest of his things, while Merlin extracted his own wet belongings from his knapsack. Artemis briefly wondered why he didn’t just dump out his things like Artemis did, until he realized Merlin probably didn’t want him to see the gemstone.  
Artemis put that out of his mind for now. He’d ask questions when they were in a better place, though he was dying to know more about the gemstone.  
He was curious as to how Merlin was so brazen as to walk around the room, hanging up his clothes, completely bare. It may have only been the two of them, but Artemis had the blanket wrapped so tightly around himself, one hand holding it shut while the other hung up the clothes, that there was no way Merlin could see anything below his neck.  
Artemis figured he just had a bit more shame than Merlin did. It was nice to sneak looks at Merlin and take in his slim, pale form, though.  
 _Merlin always looks so handsome_ , Artemis mused.  
Once everything was hung up, they got back in bed together, sitting up, watching the fire crackle and blaze.  
“I want to stay more southeast,” Merlin said out of the blue. “It may take us longer to leave Uther’s kingdom that way, but the path will be easier. I remember Arthur mentioning some weeks ago that slave traders are setting up along the northeast border. Obviously, we want to avoid that.”  
Artemis agreed wholeheartedly. The thought of Merlin and him so close to complete freedom, only to be snatched up by slave traders, made him shudder.  
“Nothing will happen to us.” Merlin assured him, putting an arm around him. “I’ll protect us, no matter what.”  
 _We have one knife between us_ , Artemis thought dryly. He appreciated the effort Merlin made to make him feel better, he just wondered how Merlin thought he could take out a group of bandits or slave traders with a single knife.  
“It’s a lot safer to cross the south east border into the next kingdom right now, but it will take a few more days on foot.” Merlin said, almost apologetically. “I want to be out of the kingdom as soon as possible, so Arthur can’t follow us, but I don’t want to risk running into unnecessary problems that might hinder us.”  
Artemis leaned in closer to him, trying to convey that he understood and didn’t mind at all. He closed his eyes and breathed in Merlin’s scent.  
He smelled more woodsy than usual, but the underlying scent of herbs was still there, just faint. Merlin always smelled like warmth, plants, and trees, like he spent his days basking in the sun out in nature. Artemis loved it.  
He opened his eyes when Merlin started sliding a hand inside of the top of Artemis’ blanket-cocoon. Merlin kissed his temple and whispered, “Why are you trying to hide yourself from me? Are you cold?”  
Artemis shivered at his hot breath grazing the top of his ear. He wasn’t cold at all to begin with, but Merlin’s tone and words made him feel even warmer.  
Merlin kissed his temple once more, tugging apart the blanket. Artemis willingly let him, unclasping the blanket and allowing Merling to unwrap him.  
“Don’t hide yourself from me, you’re so beautiful.” Merlin said softly, his fingers brushing the thick, dark hairs on Artemis’ stomach that trailed down to his groin. “I love seeing every part of you. You’re the most perfect thing I’ve ever seen.” He gave Artemis a proper kiss, grasping his hip.  
Artemis felt flushed. Merlin’s mouth was so soft, his long fingers were so smooth as they gently caressed Artemis’ hip, causing him to twitch from the sensation.  
“You’re probably still tired.” Merlin leaned away from Artemis. “Did you want to sleep a little more?”  
Artemis had previously thought yes, but lying here under Merlin’s lustful gaze made him think twice.  
Artemis looked into Merlin’s stunningly blue eyes. He wished for the millionth time that his eyes were also blue. Nobody ever had anything nice to say about plain, brown eyes…..  
“I can leave you be to sleep for a little bit.” Merlin removed his hand from Artemis’ hip and Artemis missed it immediately.  
Artemis placed his hand right back where it had been, and Merlin smiled. “Maybe we could kiss for a bit first?” He suggested.  
Artemis lifted his chin to accept it and Merlin wasted no time going back in for a kiss.  
Unlike last night, Artemis allowed Merlin’s tongue inside of his mouth. Merlin tasted nice, even a little sweet. Their tongues entangled and he heard Merlin groan, felt his grip tighten on his hip. It made Artemis suck in sharply, and he gripped Merlin’s shoulder with his right hand to keep himself grounded.  
“So perfect.” Merlin pulled away to say. Artemis missed the feel of his mouth and the sensation of his tongue inside instantly. “Why are you so perfect?”  
Artemis didn’t believe a word of the flattery, but he blushed anyway and looked away.  
Merlin went in again, and Artemis slid his hand up to the side of his neck, feeling his warm pulse pounding against his palm. His left hand made its way to Merlin’s cock and wrapped around it.  
Artemis squeezed it a little, like it was his first time handling it. He relished the velvety skin, the unbelievable heat radiating from it, the droplet of liquid threatening to drop onto the bed at any time. He ran the flat of his palm against the underside, back and forth, up and down the length of it as they kissed.  
Merlin pulled away and swore under his breath. “Feels amazing.” He muttered, thrusting a little into Artemis’ delicate touches. “You have no clue how tempting you are. So many things I want to do to you right now.”  
Artemis angled his head, as if to say _go on_?  
“I want to kiss and lick every single inch of you.” Merlin said breathlessly. “Want to sit between your legs and suck your cock dry for hours.” Artemis jerked at hearing that, letting go of Merlin’s cock to grab his own. Merlin immediately started working his own arousal, talking the whole time. “I want to get you wet, keep you open with my fingers while I suck you off. After you’re completely spent, I’ll put myself inside of you and we’ll make love for hours and hours. You’ll be dripping with my seed all day.”  
Artemis’ mouth was hanging open, relishing in Merlin’s dirty words. He kept pumping his own cock, eyes fixed on Merlin’s reddening, weeping cock. It looked so ravishingly delicious, second only to Merlin’s flushed face.  
“I’d leave you with the most wonderful ache, deep inside your body.” Merlin leaned over him again, messily kissing him briefly before adding, “you’d love it, too. Walking around with my seed in you, feeling that lovely, dull ache from my cock in you.”  
Artemis grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down closer, desperate for the feel of Merlin’s mouth on his again.  
He closed his eyes and let himself imagine the scenario Merlin was painting with his words. He pictured Merlin between his legs, fervently sucking on Artemis’ cock. He drifted his hand towards his opening, touching himself there and fantasizing Merlin’s fingers working their magic inside of him, keeping him loose for when Merlin would slide inside effortlessly.  
Merlin broke their kiss again. “Can’t wait until we live by ourselves, in our own little cabin. Going to be so hard to not touch you and kiss you all day. You’re so beautiful. Gods, you have me wanting you all hours of the day now. You look so ravishingly perfect, especially right now. Touching your lovely cock, touching your entrance like that. Gods, you look amazing. Just like this.” Merlin prattled, like he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out as he looked over Artemis’ form with a hungry glint to his eyes, working his cock.  
Artemis thought about being alone with Merlin in their own place. He thought about waking up in Merlin’s arms every single day, feeling loved and wanted and needed. He never thought he would find someone who cared so much about him and his well-being.  
He let his eyes drift closed again, feeling his climax approaching. He still felt a rush of embarrassment as he found himself fantasizing about Merlin using his expert tongue and mouth on his entrance. He conjured up memories of how it had felt in the past, the initial shock of the wetness, Merlin’s desperate, prodding tongue circling it… the broad strokes of his tongue lathering it…. the sounds Merlin made like he couldn’t stop himself...  
Artemis came so hard it made him gasp. He shut his eyes, letting the force of it overwhelm him. He took his hand off of his cock when he was finished, incredibly sensitive.  
He heard Merlin moan and his seed splattered all over Artemis’ stomach, their seed mixing together.  
Merlin plopped down the second he was done. “Sorry.” He said, out of breath. Artemis gave him a curious look. “I know you don’t usually like it when it gets on you.”  
Artemis shrugged. This time it didn’t bother him. Probably because his stomach had already been covered in his own cum first.  
Artemis was even more exhausted now. He let Merlin wipe him off with the rag as he lay there, trying to remember how to breathe.  
He felt his eyes flutter shut and he fought to keep them open. Merlin was checking on the parchment to see if it was drying. Artemis’ eyes drifted shut and he forced them back open as Merlin came back to bed.  
“You’re tired, my love.” Merlin kissed his forehead. “Go to sleep.”  
Artemis didn’t last another minute awake. He fell asleep to the feel of Merlin’s fingers tracing his collarbone.

******************************************************************************

 _I’m going to die here._  
Robin thought that sentence over and over, his head pounding where Arthur had pushed him back and he had hit it hard on the stone. He was probably bleeding.  
I’m going to die alone.  
Robin cursed himself for not leaving the second he learned Merlin and Artemis had. There was still this tiny, stupid part of him that wanted to stay with Arthur. Now that Merlin and Artemis are gone, it whispered to him, Arthur will put more of his attention on you. He’ll want you even more now. The prince will want you.  
 _I’m going to die, and nobody will care._  
Robin refused to cry. He was so stupid to fall for Arthur, so stupid to believe his own made-up lies that Arthur was secretly in love with him, that he just expressed it differently…  
 _I’m going to die, and Prince Arthur will replace me. I am nothing to him._  
He should have listened to Merlin. He should have told Arthur it was over a long time ago. He might have been attacked and verbally assaulted by the prince for leaving, but at least he wouldn’t have been thrown in the darkest corner of the dungeons to die.  
 _I’m going to die down here, alone, because I fell in love with a monster._  
How many times? How many times had Arthur refused to touch him? (Not counting the times he was a little drunk and got slightly affectionate) How many times had Robin been struck and shouted at for begging for a loving hand to accompany the harsh blows Arthur gave him? How many times had Arthur called being intimate with a man ‘degrading’? And yet he was intent on raping an innocent boy for some ill-conceived notion that this said boy had disrespected him in some way.  
Robin had felt ill even after Artemis stopped struggling, pretending to enjoy it. He felt sick at the vague joy in Arthur’s face as they kissed. How he had relaxed. Arthur would have jumped in bed with Artemis either way. He just didn’t want Robin. He only used him.  
It felt cruel to be able to hear the pounding rain outside while his throat was parched and dry. He couldn’t even begin to swallow anymore. His mouth was feeling sticky from lack of moisture. The gag in his mouth didn’t help.  
Robin didn’t know he had drifted asleep until he heard footsteps coming towards him.  
His first thought was that maybe Arthur had returned for him. Or to further torment him.  
Then the hope that it might be a guard passing by made him open his eyes and try to sit up.  
He squinted his eyes, trying to look out at the darkness outside of his cell to see who it was.  
A guard. An actual guard. Arthur had told him that guards never patrolled this deep into the dungeons, especially when they thought no one was being held this far down.  
Robin tried to make a noise as the guard came closer. The guard paused and did a double take. Robin must have looked terrible to warrant the amount of concern in the guard’s voice as he said, “What are you doing down here?” The guard narrowed his eyes. “Why are you bound and gagged? What sort of crime did you commit to warrant that?”  
Robin shook his head. He made a pleading sound, coming closer, silently begging the guard to take off his gag.  
The guard sighed reluctantly. “If I ungag you, I’ll probably be disobeying the king’s wishes.”  
Nobody knows I’m down here! Robin thought. He made his eyes even more pathetic and pleading.  
The guard looked behind him quickly. “Lean closer, I’ll pull the cloth off your mouth.” He said in a hushed tone. “But so help me if you’re some sort of sorceror…”  
Robin got his face as close to the bars as he could and the guard pulled down the cloth.  
“Please.” Robin rasped. “Water. Please.”  
“Haven’t they given you food and water?”  
Robin shook his head.  
“What are you down here for?”  
“Water. Please. Water first.” Robin croaked out again.  
The guard looked annoyed, but he left and returned with some water. “I’m probably the worst guard ever.” He muttered to himself. He unlocked the cell door. “Here’s your water. Don’t even think about trying to run out the door. I’ll have my sword out in a second.”  
Robin twisted his arms about helplessly. “Can’t hold it.” He said.  
The guard sighed again and held the cup up to Robin’s mouth. “If you’re tricking me in some way, or using this as a means to escape, I have zero qualms about running you through.”  
Robin barely listened to his threats as he gulped the water gratefully. “Thank you.” He said, pulling back.  
“Answer my questions.” The guard demanded. “Why are you down here, so deep in the dungeons? Nobody ever gets put down here.”  
“Prince Arthur. I’m his personal servant.” Saying those words made his mouth fill with a bitter taste. “I displeased him. He threw me down here.”  
“That doesn’t sound quite right…” The guard said suspiciously.  
“I’m not lying.” Robin insisted. “He threw me down here and told me he was going to let me die.”  
“I think you are lying, though.” The guard said. “That doesn’t sound like Prince Arthur.”  
“You don’t know what he’s really like.” Robin said. “He hurts me. He abused me.”  
The guard slid his sword out and Robin winced. “Saying that is borderline treason in my mind.” The guard growled. “The prince is a good, honorable man.”  
“I have the bruises to prove it.” Robin said. “All over my back. Some on my legs. I- I have scars from him too-”  
“Shut up!” The guard snapped.  
“I’m not lying!” Robin insisted desperately. “You can look on my back. He hit me every night that I was in his service.”  
“First of all,” the guard began, “I knew the personal servant of the prince before you. He never reported the prince for anything like that.”  
“Merlin quit. He quit because of the things the prince was doing.” Robin was now telling half-truths, but he needed out of here. The guard needed to let him free. “And then he ran away, just a couple of days ago. Because of the prince. The prince dragged me down here and threw me in the dungeons to die because I helped him.” Robin fibbed again. He was surprised at how easily he twisted the truth.  
The guard gripped his sword so hard his knuckles turned white. “The prince would not have been allowed to send you to the dungeons for that.”  
“There was no proper arrest. There was no trial. The king has no idea Prince Arthur has done this. Check the records. There was no trial for me.”  
“Prince Arthur would not have disregarded the law to toss you down here. I know for a fact he upholds the laws of these lands with-”  
“Check the records!” Robin pleaded. “I’m not on them! He did toss me down here illegally! He did tell me he was going to let me die down here! Please believe me! Please let me go! I want to get out of here! I just want to escape Camelot!”  
The guard turned on his heel and left the cell, slamming the door behind him, locking it while glaring at Robin. “I don’t have time for this. I need to finish my patrol. Whatever you’re here for, it’s a good reason, I’m sure.”  
“Please.” Robin begged to the retreating form of the guard. “My name is Robin! Check the records and you’ll see I was never on trial! I’m not lying!”  
He collapsed to the ground after the guard was out of sight, all hope gone.

******************************************************************************

Robin awoke to the sound of heavy footsteps again. He opened his eyes with great effort. The guard was back, peering into his cell.  
“I couldn’t sleep after I got off of patrol. So I checked the records of recents trials.” He looked away. “Your name wasn’t on them. There hasn’t even been a trial for close to a week. I checked the arrest records, too. Nothing.”  
“I haven’t done anything wrong.” Robin said, his voice cracking. “I just want to escape Camelot. I just want to leave.”  
“If I let you go, I could lose my job.”  
“But no one but the prince knows I’m down here.” Robin reminded him. “And he wouldn’t know you were the one to let me go. And he couldn’t do anything about it if he did know without admitting he illegally put me down here.”  
“Prince Arthur is gone.”  
Robin blinked. “What?”  
“He was discovered missing shortly before dawn. They’ve scoured the castle and the town for him. King Uther has sent out several knight patrols to find him.”  
“He went after Merlin…” Robin said to himself quietly. “He’s not going to let them go without a fight…”  
“Them?”  
“Please, sir.” Robin said, “If you let me out of here, I’ll be gone within the hour. I only want to get out of Camelot.”  
The guard couldn’t look at him. “I take my job very seriously. I’ve never done anything like this before…”  
“Sir,” Robin began, “Prince Arthur abused me. He hurt Merlin as well. He wanted me to die down here. You have to realize there’s no way keeping me down here is the right thing to do.”  
The guard slowly reached for his keys. Robin felt his heart surge. “I can be packed and gone in an hour. You’d be doing a good thing, I promise you.”  
The guard put the key in the lock, hesitating before turning it. “I’d never forgive myself for letting an innocent man die.” He muttered. “But I swear to the gods, if you’ve somehow tricked me-”  
“Thank you, sir!” Robin got up painstakingly. “The gods will bless you for this, I am sure.” He turned and offered his bound hands. He almost groaned with relief as he felt them being cut. He rubbed his wrists and faced the guard, who held the door for him.  
Robin, weak though he was, half-ran through the dungeons, stumbling up the stairs.  
The rain had stopped. Sunlight streamed through the glass window and he relished in the feeling.  
Arthur had taken his bag of meager belongings when he had been caught trying to leave the first time. Which meant Robin had no money, no waterskin to fill up, and no other clothes besides the ones on him.  
He went down to the kitchens and snatched up the first thing he saw, which was a freshly hot pork chop. He grabbed a pitcher of water and poured himself a cup and chugged it. He vaguely heard a maid scold him for it, but he ignored her, drinking another cup before it was snatched away from him by another maid.  
“What’s wrong with you?” Someone snapped as he shoved a tomato in his mouth and followed it by another bite of pork. “Get out of here! Stop eating the king’s breakfast!”  
Robin found himself completely uncaring, grabbing a chicken thigh on his way out of the kitchens, his energy slowly coming back.  
He licked his fingers clean as he went outside. He turned his face towards the sun, closing his eyes.  
He had no money, literally just the clothes on his back, and he had never felt better.  
He was free from Arthur forever. He realized this must be how Merlin and Artemis felt 2 days ago when they escaped. He prayed they would stay safe from Arthur.  
Without even a second thought, he went down to the stables. He took out a mare and had a stableboy saddle her. “It’s for one of the lords,” he lied. The stableboy didn’t even question him, readying the horse promptly.  
“I’ll lead her to him.” Robin said. The stableboy nodded and went back to mucking out a stall.  
Horse theft was punishable by death, if he was caught. But with every knight looking for Arthur, he felt pretty at ease about getting away with this crime.  
He led the horse through the edge of town, coming to the edge of the woods before climbing on. No one had looked at him twice, everyone was murmuring about the prince going missing. People were speculating wildly.  
Robin took a deep breath, looking into the woods. He gave a flick of the reins and the horse began walking into the forest.  
Robin felt like a thousand pounds were gone from his shoulders. He felt true happiness for the first time in a very, very long time.  
He directed the horse west, a smile on his face and a song in his heart as they went onward, towards freedom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Robin's part was a bit rushed, I know. I had to get his story moving quickly.


	22. Chapter 22

Merlin peered out the window, finishing getting dressed while Artemis slept soundly in bed.  
It finally stopped raining about an hour ago, and the sun was warming things up quickly. He had let the fire die out, now that everything was dry.  
Merlin tied his scarf securely at the back of his neck, and leaned over Artemis, giving him a soft kiss to wake him up.  
Artemis snorted and snuffled adorably, stretching out before slowly opening his dark brown eyes.  
Merlin loved the color of his eyes. He felt like he could get lost in the deep, rich color. He ran his hand down Artemis’ cheek. “I’m going to pay for another night here, then I’m going to get us something to eat. Some merchants should be open by now.”  
Artemis showed that he heard, rolling onto his side and closing his eyes again.  
“I’ll buy you a comb, too.” Merlin pointedly ran his hand over Artemis’ tangled locks. “And I’ll fill up the waterskins. Can you be dressed when I get back? I’d love to take a walk with you through town today.”  
Artemis nodded, curling up tighter. Merlin smiled at the sight, straightening up and grabbing his coins and waterskins. “Lock the door behind me, love. I’ll let you know it’s me when I come back. Don’t open for anyone else, okay?” Merlin felt like he was being overly cautious, but he knew it was better to be safe than sorry. What if Arthur had caught up to them unknowingly and was staying here too? Or someone else that might mean them harm? Merlin had heard stories in the past of people staying in rooms at various inns being robbed or worse when they didn’t keep their doors locked.  
Artemis nodded again, eyes still closed.  
Merlin went out the door, shutting it behind him and trotting down the stairs.  
The innkeeper was cleaning out the fireplace. He gave Merlin a quick glance and an acknowledging nod.  
“Could I pay for one more night, please?” Merlin requested.  
The innkeeper stood up from where he was crouched in front of the fireplace and wiped his forehead, leaving some soot behind. “Yeah, sure.” He said. He held out his hand. “Same price as before.”  
Merlin awkwardly moved closer and placed the coins in his hand. The innkeeper pocketed it.  
“Where are some good places to buy some food?” Merlin asked.  
“There’s one merchant stall open right now that sells some good rolls.” The innkeeper answered. “It’s run by a woman named Cecily. One of the first you’ll see when you leave here if you go right. And a few houses past her, someone sells some fantastic dried meats. Can’t ever remember his name, though. He’s usually set up beside his house and he’s got his dog outside with him, so I doubt you’ll miss it.”  
Merlin didn’t like the idea of eating more dried meats, since the dried rabbit they already had was very nasty, but he thanked the innkeeper and started to head out.  
“Wait.”  
Merlin turned and looked curiously at the innkeeper.  
“You didn’t tell your name last night. I usually ask for names.”  
Merlin thought that was odd to ask for everyone’s name who stayed here, but maybe it was a safety precaution. “Oh. Um. It’s…. Ailwin.” He lied, recalling the name of a past lover.  
“And your cousin?”  
Merlin was about to ask why he assumed they were cousins until he remembered he had lied about that, too. “Will.” He said, the only other male name he could come up with on the spot, the name of his closest friend growing up.  
“I see.” The innkeeper’s expression and tone changed to a slightly more friendly one. “I just like to know.”  
“I understand,” Merlin said, although he didn’t.  
He exited the inn, blinking at the sudden bright sunlight.  
He forgot to ask where to fill up the waterskins and buy things like combs, but someone else would tell him.  
The first thing he bought was a kind of twig one could chew on to clean one's teeth. Most people used cloths to scrub their teeth, so these were a rare treat. They didn’t taste too bad, either. They were a rarity in Camelot to find, but this town had plenty bundled up in baskets outside of a merchant stall. Artemis would appreciate Merlin buying some.  
The girl he bought the rolls from was quite a beauty, and she flirted with him a bit while she took her time tying up the rolls so he could carry them easier. It flattered Merlin, and she was definitely easy on the eyes, but he resisted flirting back, even though Artemis wasn’t there with him.  
He found a place that sold boar bristle brushes, though it was more than Merlin had expected to pay. He reluctantly handed over the coins and received the brush, which he shoved in his pocket.  
He found the dried meats place with a lot more difficulty than he had expected to. The merchant’s dog kept growling at him. Merlin tentatively sampled a piece of the meat. To his astonishment, it was pretty good. He immediately asked for several pouchfuls, setting the coins on the counters.  
“Where is the nearest lake or pond?” He asked the man.  
“If you keep walking past here, behind me,” the man said, “You’ll get to the edge of town and there’s a stream. Follow the flow of it, and it empties into a lake after a while. Not too long of a walk.”  
Merlin thanked him. The dog tried to nip at him as he turned to leave. Merlin ignored it, heading to the stream to fill up the waterskins. It was his last task before returning to the inn.

******************************************************************************

“Artemis, open up. I’m back.” Merlin’s hands were sweaty from carrying the pouches of meat and he was precariously balancing the rolls on top of the waterskins in the other hand.  
Artemis opened the door, fully dressed and looking excited to see what Merlin had brought back.  
Merlin handed him the rolls first. “These are amazing,” he promised Artemis. “And the meats are delicious too.”  
Artemis didn’t look convinced of the meats, but he eagerly started devouring a roll.  
Merlin set the items down on the bed and handed Artemis his water.  
They ate in silence for a while. Merlin convinced Artemis to try the dried meat and he seemed to like it well enough. “A lot better than the ones from Camelot, right?” He said. “Oh! Speaking of Camelot, I bought some of those twigs you liked to chew on. They had a lot here.”  
Artemis appreciatively took one and started chewing on one end, sitting cross-legged on the bed in front of Merlin. For whatever reason, Merlin was reminded of a squirrel as he watched Artemis hold the twig in one hand and gnaw on it.  
“The innkeeper asked for our names for whatever reason.”  
Artemis looked at him sharply.  
“Obviously, I didn’t tell him our real names.” Merlin said. “I said my name was Ailwin. That’s the name of someone I used to… know.” Merlin cleared his throat. Artemis knew about his past lovers, both male and female, and it didn’t bother him at all. It just made Merlin feel weird bringing them up in front of him. “And I said that yours was Will. That’s the name of my friend from my old village.”  
Artemis continued to chew on the twig.  
“So if Arthur or Arthur’s men are looking for us, they won’t know we are here if they come across this town.”  
Artemis nodded absentmindedly.  
Something had been bothering Merlin. Some detail in Artemis’ note about what Arthur had done was missing and Merlin wanted to have that detail filled in.  
“Artemis,” he started.  
Artemis looked at him like, “Yes?” Still chewing on the twig.  
Merlin sat more comfortably. “In your note, you only mentioned that you were able to get away and run off. How did you manage that? Why didn’t he chase after you?”  
Artemis looked down like he was ashamed. He slowly set down the twig and squirmed a little.  
Without a quill and ink, Merlin was going to have to rely on Artemis’ miming skills, which he had gotten rather good at.  
Artemis mimed placing something on his head, like a hat or... “Prince Arthur? That’s supposed to be a crown, right? So that means Prince Arthur?” Merlin asked. Artemis nodded.  
Artemis made the motion again, then pointed to himself. He made a grabbing motion and pulled towards himself. “Arthur grabbed you?” Artemis nodded.  
Looking like he didn’t relish reliving the memory, he pointed to his lips and then crushed his palms together and twisted them side to side.  
“Umm…” Merlin thought to himself for a moment. “He…Does that mean he kissed you? Like he forced his mouth on yours?”  
Artemis grimly nodded. He hesitated for a second. He made the crushing motion again for a while, then made a movement like he was grabbing someone and squeezing them to himself tightly.  
“You couldn’t get away. He was holding onto you and… pressing his mouth to yours.” Merlin guessed. He didn’t want to keep using the word ‘kissed’ to describe that forceful act. And he hated picturing what Arthur had done.  
Artemis confirmed his guess. He then pointed to himself and mimed struggling, with his arms pinned to his side. Then he slowed down the struggling gradually and relaxed.  
“You… stopped fighting him?” Merlin said.  
Artemis nodded. His face turned a bit red as he mimed that he became accepting of the kiss.  
“Artemis, but you really didn’t want it. You were trying to save your skin. I’d have done the same thing.” Merlin reassured him.  
Artemis held up one finger to shush him. He leaned in, gave Merlin a small kiss, then lightly nipped his bottom lip. Merlin was confused. “Artemis-”  
Artemis shushed him again. He inhaled deeply, then pointed to himself. Then pointed at Merlin, did the motion like he was putting on a crown again, representing Prince Arthur. He leaned in, gave Merlin’s lip another light nip and tug, then pulled away. He then pinched a part of his own lower lip and tugged it down, then released it and made a loud chomping motion with his teeth, biting down hard.  
Merlin pieced it together. Artemis mimed that Merlin represented Arthur. He nipped his lip… the hard chomping motion- Oh gods….  
“You… bit Prince Arthur?” Merlin said, amazed and shocked.  
Artemis nodded. He tugged at his own lip again, then made a motion with two hands that looked like he was ripping something in half.  
“You bit his lip in half?” Merlin exclaimed.  
Artemis confirmed that, then traced a line down his bottom lip, like he was showing exactly where and how long the gash was.  
Artemis then pointed to himself and motioned like he was running.  
“So just to be clear… Arthur grabbed you. He forced his mouth on you. You pretended to like it… and then bit his lip in half and made a run for it?”  
Artemis nodded and set his clasped hands in his lap, like he was waiting for Merlin’s full reaction, whatever it may be.  
Merlin tried to picture it. “Bit cleanly in half?”  
Artemis nodded.  
“Was there a lot of blood?”  
Artemis widened his eyes and nodded.  
“Wow.” Merlin muttered. He studied Artemis calmly. Hard to imagine him committing any sort of violent act, even in self-defense.  
“You’ve been the victim for too long, Artemis.” Merlin said at last. Artemis looked at him curiously. “I’m glad you did that. Much less than he deserved for what he did to you.”  
Artemis looked relieved.  
“Did you think I would be upset with you?” Artemis looked away and shrugged. “He’s an evil, evil man. Why would I be upset at you for doing that? I’m proud of you for it.”  
Artemis chewed on the inside of his cheek, not looking at Merlin.  
“I’ll never be upset with you for defending yourself, whatever it takes. You are not a victim, you understand?” Merlin took his hand and held it. “Look at me. You’ve survived so much trauma, more than someone should ever have to. Never be ashamed of standing up for yourself.”  
Artemis blushed and his eyes flicked downward again. He squeezed Merlin’s hand before letting go.  
“Let’s finish eating. I wanted to take you to a few shops, and then we can visit the lake. It’s pretty warm today.”

******************************************************************************

“This book looks good.” Merlin offered it to Artemis.  
Artemis flipped through it before shaking his head. He preferred lots of illustrations. This book had none.  
“Alright. This one is about the five kingdoms.” Merlin pointed to another.  
Artemis sighed. Sounded boring.  
A blue book caught his eye. He pulled it out. He recognized a few of the words. He held it up to Merlin to read the title out loud.  
“Oh. Um,” Merlin looked awkward all the sudden. “It says, ‘A Complete History of the Abolishment of Sorcery and Magic in the Kingdom of Camelot’.”  
Hm. Artemis flipped it open.  
“That ones good,” The merchant said out of nowhere. He’d been silent while Merlin and Artemis browsed his books until now. “I’ve read it a few times.”  
Artemis acknowledged what he’d said and perused the pages.  
There were depictions of the way sorcerers had been killed, the names of some of the more notable sorcerers, some of the magical species that had been wiped out… All thanks to King Uther.  
“Ever seen one?” The merchant asked Artemis. “A sorcerer? They’re still around, you know. Can’t get all of them.”  
Artemis shuddered and looked at Merlin, who seemed to be studying a different book very closely, not paying attention to the merchant.  
“When they do magic, their eyes flash a different color.” Artemis’ heart pounded at the thought of that. “It’s true,” the merchant insisted, “I’ve seen it happen. Terrifying to see, I’ll tell you that. Glad that it’s illegal to practice those dark arts in this kingdom. Not right, having those kinds of abilities.”  
Artemis nodded his agreement and Merlin did nothing.  
“How about this instead, Artemis?” Merlin said hastily. “It’s about the animals you can find living here in the southern kingdoms.”  
Artemis cocked his head. Merlin flipped through the pages for him. Lots of illustrations… and a lot less dark and dreary than a history book that described the systematic killing of magical people and beings…  
Artemis accepted the book and Merlin put back the other one. He went to the counter to pay for it.  
After they left the shop, Merlin hesitantly asked, “Artemis… what the shopkeeper said… about sorcerers…. Do you believe they are truly evil? All of them?”  
Artemis nodded firmly. He’d heard of sorcerers cursing people, or killing without ever laying a finger on their victim. And where he’d grown up, magic wasn’t even outlawed, though there was a general air of mistrust towards people who practiced it. And Artemis had heard too many stories of magic corrupting it’s user to ever trust a sorcerer.  
“I see.” Merlin said quietly. He swallowed. “Let’s take this book back to our room and then go to the lake.”

******************************************************************************

Later that evening, Artemis couldn’t help but notice Merlin had been off most of the day. He seemed distracted, not as willing to be affectionate with Artemis…  
Is he actually disturbed by what I did to the prince? Was he lying about it being okay before? Artemis thought sadly.  
Merlin was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading the book he had bought for himself. Artemis sat by the fire, eating more of the dried meat while he waited for the stew downstairs to be ready.  
Taking a sip of water, he looked over at Merlin, who he hadn’t heard flip a page in a while. He didn’t even look like he was really reading anymore.  
He looked distant. And melancholy. Surely not because of me?  
Artemis set down his food. On all fours, he walked over to Merlin and sat at his feet, looking up at him, trying to look coy and cute at the same time.  
Merlin looked down at him. “Hey.” He said, a slight smile on his lips. But he sounded dull.  
Artemis angled his head at him.  
“You want to come up here?” Merlin offered. He patted next to himself on the bed.  
Artemis shook his head. He reached up and took Merlin’s hand, pressing his knuckles to his mouth.  
“Can I ask you a question?”  
Artemis nodded.  
“Have you ever met a sorcerer?”  
Artemis shook his head. Not that he was aware of…  
“Then how do you know all of them are evil?”  
Artemis hesitated. That was a loaded question for a mute person with limited literacy and no ink to write with to answer.  
“Hang on.” Merlin stood up. “I’m going to see if I can’t borrow some ink and a pen from downstairs.  
Artemis waited patiently after he left, thinking of what to write when Merlin came back.  
Merlin returned empty-handed. “Apparently,” he muttered to himself, “They keep some stocked in the shelf on the wall.”  
Artemis watched Merlin go over to the cupboard that was attached to the wall on the left side of the fireplace and open it. He pulled out the ink and quill stored there. “Can’t believe I didn’t even think to look in here for it. Anyway, here,” He set it down beside Artemis, along with the freshly dried parchment. “Take your time.” He said, going to sit back on the bed.  
Artemis dipped the pen in the ink and started writing.  
His limited literacy was frustrating, and he had to write in broken sentences and use alternative words for the actual words he wanted to write.  
Magic harms magic person, he wrote, magic harms people. Can not stop them. Can not fight back. Magic kills.  
It was Artemis’ personal nightmare to encounter a sorcerer. He’d been harmed by normal people with no magic and it had been awful, to put it mildly. He couldn’t imagine throwing magic into the mix. A sorcerer could entrap him and do terrible things to him without ever laying a finger on him. And with the way he’d heard of magic corrupting sorcerers, he could only shudder at the things they could think up that a normal person would never dream of doing.  
He handed Merlin his paper and watched him read it. He was puzzled at the way Merlin’s shoulders slumped and his mouth settled into a deeper frown. It made Artemis sad. Why was Merlin upset about this?  
“When you wrote, ‘magic harms magic person’, did you mean like when people say magic corrupts its user?”  
Artemis confirmed that was what he meant.  
Merlin took a deep breath and set the paper to the side. He motioned for Artemis to come up onto the bed. This time, Artemis did so.  
Merlin cupped his face, looking into Artemis’ eyes. Artemis had never seen Merlin’s eyes so sad before….  
“I want you to know… not every sorcerer is bad.” Artemis snorted before he could stop himself. “I’m serious, Artemis.” Merlin insisted. “I- I knew one. Once.” Artemis looked at Merlin inquisitively. “I- um- I knew him a while ago. He would never have hurt anyone he loved. He would never have dreamed of it. Magic doesn’t corrupt people. Sometimes bad people use it to do bad things, but that doesn't mean everyone who uses magic is bad.”  
Artemis remained unconvinced. He knew the gemstone that had shown him the images of his father and himself as a child was magical and not necessarily harming anyone, but a sorcerer could use it for evil somehow…  
Was that where Merlin had gotten it from? That friend who practiced magic?  
Merlin saw plainly on his face that Artemis didn’t quite believe him, so he said, “Alright, one final question and I’ll drop it. If you were starving and tired and walking through the woods and a nice old lady took you in and gave you food, new clothes, and let you rest up, would you be grateful to her? Would you call her a good person?”  
Artemis nodded.  
“And what if, on the last day you were with her, before you went on your way again, you found out that she was a sorceress, would you then hate her? Would you be afraid of her? Even though she had never harmed you in any way while you were there?”  
It was a good question… Artemis considered it. He would probably be afraid. Probably be glad she hadn’t decided to harm him…  
But it was a strictly hypothetical question. In reality, the sorceress probably would have done something to him. Maybe put a curse on him for fun. Enchant him in some way….  
He didn’t react to the question. Merlin stroked his cheekbone with his thumb before letting go. “Just think about that for a minute.”  
Artemis grabbed the paper and quill and quickly wrote, think about friend? Sad?  
Merlin read it. “Oh. Yeah, I guess I was thinking about my friend after what the shopkeeper said about sorcerers and such. Made me upset…” He sighed. “He’s a good person, I promise you. That’s why I was so bothered.”  
Artemis couldn’t be friends with a sorcerer if he tried. He’d be constantly thinking about what would happen when the sorcerer turned on him eventually…. Strange that it didn’t bother Merlin.  
“I’ll get us some stew. It was ready when I went down there to ask for ink.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis’ face and chest shone with sweat as he rode Merlin that night. He hadn’t been in this position for a while, and it was one of his favorites. If he moved the right way, Merlin’s cock brushed up against something inside of him that felt heavenly.  
Merlin was breathless, though he was doing none of the work. His pupils were dilated as he watched Artemis move himself up and down on his cock, his eyes flicking over every part of Artemis.  
Merlin had prepared him well tonight, but there was still a slight stretching feeling when he initially slid onto Merlin’s cock. It didn’t hurt at all, just a pleasant burn and stretch until he got used to it.  
“Let me kiss you.” Merlin requested, panting.  
Artemis paused and leaned down, kissing Merlin fully. Merlin couldn’t resist lifting his hips upwards, driving his cock further into Artemis, making him gasp. Merlin, encouraged by this, snapped his hips upward rapidly, drawing out gasps and rapturous sighs from Artemis.  
“Love you.” Merlin said, breaking the kiss. “You look so good when you ride me like this.”  
Artemis smiled and straightened back up, getting back into the old rhythm.  
Merlin’s eyes fixed on Artemis’ bobbing and swaying cock. He reached out and brushed it with his fingers, drawing out a gasp from Artemis. “Looks so obscene and beautiful at the same time.” He said, letting it brush his hand as it moved with Artemis’ up-and-down motions.  
Artemis paused as Merlin wrapped his hand around it. “Let me do you first, before I cum.” He requested. “I don’t want to be too tired to appreciate the sight of you when you reach your peak.”  
Artemis bit his lip at those words and let him stroke his cock expertly. Merlin seemed transfixed on it, taking his time, sometimes stopping to squeeze it, which was both torturous and pleasurable for Artemis.  
Merlin sped up when Artemis’s cock stiffened up a bit more. Artemis threw his head back and panted as he came onto Merlin’s stomach.  
Merlin licked some seed off of his hand. He relaxed onto the pillows. “Will you feed it to me? Use your fingers and let me lick it off of them?”  
Artemis blushed at such an indecent request, but the idea was too arousing to say no to.  
He ran his fingers through his seed and let Merlin suck it off. Merlin groaned. “How do you taste so good?”  
Artemis smiled slightly, giving him some more. He repeated this until Merlin’s stomach was mostly clean.  
“Lay down on me.” Merlin said. Artemis did so, and Merlin thrust upwards into him.  
Artemis’ eyes rolled back as Merlin hit that sensitive spot in him dead-on. He gripped Merlin’s shoulders and buried his face in his neck.  
“So close, so close.” Merlin promised him. Artemis didn’t care if he lasted another hour, as long as he kept hitting that spot.  
He felt Merlin’s cock stiffen and twitch, then the feeling of wet heat went into him. He never grew tired of that sensation.  
He tiredly rolled off of Merlin after a minute, feeling his seed trickle out.  
Merlin was trying to catch his breath, staring up at the ceiling. “That was so good.” He said at last. “Give me a minute longer. I’ll clean you up.”  
Merlin finally got out of bed, wiping himself off with the rag, then cleaned Artemis up.  
Artemis used to be embarrassed when Merlin would lovingly clean him up after sex, now he looked forward to it.  
“You’re still dripping out,” Merlin let him know, sounding pleased with himself. “Does it feel nice?”  
Artemis smiled despite feeling self-conscious at the dirty question.  
Merlin smirked at him and affectionately ran a hand through his hair. “Since everything is packed up for tomorrow, all that’s left to do is get a good night's sleep.” Merlin said, blowing out the candle and getting in bed.  
Artemis snuggled up to him at once. “Sleep tight, love.” Merlin whispered to him before pressing a kiss to the side of his head.  
Artemis was asleep in minutes.

******************************************************************************

Merlin double and triple checked that they had everything. Artemis had his small bag of belongings, and Merlin had his knapsack already strapped securely to his back.  
He watched Artemis make the bed, though he already told him that he didn’t have to. He watched Artemis tuck in the sheets and blankets, just the way they had been when they first arrived.  
“I’m sure they probably wash them, Artemis. You’re kind of wasting time.” Merlin said as gently as he could.  
Artemis shrugged.  
“At least… I hope they wash them between guests…” Merlin said.  
Artemis made a face at hearing that, stepping back to admire his bed-making skills.  
Merlin felt that new pang of sadness when he again thought about Artemis’ feelings towards sorcerers. Merlin wished that Artemis didn’t feel the way he did… Merlin could never harm an innocent person with his magic… he could never curse anyone or use it to make someone do something they didn’t want to do…  
He wished Artemis knew that. Maybe he should have revealed his magic when they first got together… What if Artemis found out on accident and lost all trust in Merlin? The thought was nearly unbearable.  
Artemis picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “Ready?” Merlin asked. Artemis nodded.  
Downstairs, Merlin turned in the key to the innkeeper.  
The innkeeper snatched the key away from him and leaned in closer. “Count yourself lucky that I didn’t turn you in last night.” He said with a sneer.  
Merlin was taken aback. “I’m sorry, what?”  
The innkeeper looked back and forth between the two of them. “I heard you two last night when I was making my rounds.” Merlin's heart sank and his face burned with embarrassment. Artemis looked like he wanted the ground to swallow them. “Be grateful I didn’t decide to detain you and report your crime to the authorities.”  
Merlin couldn’t look at him. Sometimes he forgot his and Artemis’ relationship was illegal… that they could be hanged for being together.  
“Thanks.” He muttered, walking briskly to the door. Artemis followed, matching his pace as best he could.  
They walked in silence until they got to the edge of town. He looked over at Artemis, who had tears streaming down his face. “Everything is ok, Artemis.” He assured him, though his tone was flat. “We’ll be more careful in the future. I’ll be quieter. At least he didn’t turn us in.”  
He looped his arm through Artemis’ in a friendly manner. “Chin up, love.” He said, trying to sound cheerful for Artemis’ sake. “When we live on our own, we don’t have to worry about people like him.”  
Artemis wiped his tears with his free hand and sniffled.  
“We’ll live next to a stream, surrounded by wildflowers, and have a soft bed to sleep in every single night. We’ll have a garden and we’ll catch and grow our own food. We can do anything we want, and we won’t have to worry about people catching us.” His own words cheered him up greatly. Artemis even managed a smile. “Nothing is going to happen to us. Together forever, yeah?”  
Artemis nodded and smiled up at him, tears drying on his face. Merlin pressed Artemis’ hand to his mouth. “Love you, forever and always, Artemis.”


	23. Chapter 23

**TWO DAYS LATER**

It had been raining for nearly two days straight. Arthur was entirely sick of it. His horse was exhausted and needed to rest and eat something more substantial than grass. Arthur needed a warm place to sleep.

He finally arrived at a town, completely drenched and shivering. He knew his stitches were supposed to stay dry, but it was well past that point. They were soaked through completely. His wound was warm to the touch. It was sore. He didn’t have the ointment Gaius gave him, and it wouldn’t have stayed on if he had. The rain would have kept washing it away.

He tiredly stopped in front of a lady who was standing under the overhang of her roof. “Is there an inn here in town?” He asked her.

The lady looked him up and down. “No. It shut down.”

Arthur looked at her in disbelief. “The inn… shut down? How is that a thing?”

“Overrun with rats, mice, and bugs. Owner shut it down. Couldn’t get rid of them.” The lady said simply.

“Then where am I to sleep tonight?” The prince demanded angrily.

“Guess you’ll have to hope someone takes pity on you and lets you sleep in their house. Won’t be me, though.”

The lady went back inside her home after she said that.

Arthur gritted his teeth and instantly regretted it. It tugged at his stitches and made him wince.

He slid off of his horse and led it through town. No one was out and about. The pouring rain tends to discourage people from wandering about.

He saw a large, wooden building after he had walked for a while. A young woman was standing in the doorway. “Hello.” She smiled at him.

“I need a place to stay.” Arthur said bluntly. “Do you know anyone who might be willing to take me in?”

“Why don’t you come inside?” She said coyly.

Arthur nearly did, then stopped to look at the sign. “Is this- is this a brothel?” He said incredulously.

The young lady giggled. “Did you want to get warm inside or not?” She winked at him.

Arthur sighed. Maybe they’d let him pay for a bed without the whorish company…

“My horse-”

“Tie her to the post. I’ll have someone take her around back and let her get dry and fed.”

Arthur begrudgingly did so after taking his bags off the horse. As he set foot in the brothel, he thought to himself how angry his father would be to know he had been inside of a whorehouse.

There was a middle-aged woman behind the counter. She must run the place, Arthur figured.

He approached her. “Is there any way I could get a room tonight? Without the… female company?”

“Sure.” The madam of the brothel said agreeably. “We have a few males you could choose from, if that’s more your style.”

“What?! No!” Arthur exclaimed. He heard someone behind him giggle and he didn’t turn to see who was laughing. Even the madam smirked at his reaction. “Can I please just have a room? Just for myself?”

“We’re not an inn.”

“I understand that.” Arthur struggled to remain polite and calm. He was desperate for some sleep. “But I was told that the only inn in town was shut down. Under the circumstances, would you please just let me take a room?”

The madam considered it. “Well… Only if I can charge you what I would have if you were wanting to spend the night with one of my girls.”

“How much would that be?”

“16 coins.”

“SIXTEEN?” Arthur exclaimed.

“That is my price.”

“Half that price.” Arthur bargained.

“Three-quarters of the price.”

“Deal.” The madam waited patiently as he dug out his bag of coins.

He heard a chair scoot back from somewhere far away. He looked up before he could count out his coins.

A young man, his age, with pale skin and black hair was standing up from a table and walking into another part of the whorehouse. He turned around briefly and smiled at Arthur. His eyes were a gorgeous shade of blue.

“Changing your mind about not wanting company?” The madam asked, sounding amused.

“He- he looks like someone I used to know.”

“Would you like him to stay in your room tonight?” The madam said more gently.

Arthur sank his fingers into his coin-bag. “.... Yes.”

******************************************************************************

The young man Arthur had technically bought for the night lit the fire in the fireplace in the room he was renting.

He was incredibly slim. Not as lanky as Merlin was. A few inches shorter. His face lacked those sharp cheekbones….

But he was just as pale, and his eyes were the same shade as Merlin’s were. His hair was shaggier, but it was just as dark as Merlin’s had been.

Arthur allowed the prostitute to remove his clothes for him. The whore had specifically requested to undress him, just like Merlin would.

But Merlin’s fingers had never lingered on his skin like this… Arthur shut his eyes when the whore pressed a kiss to his shoulder blades… pretended it was Merlin.

The illusion broke when the whore spoke. “Would you like to be in front of the fire and get warm? I have a blanket for you.” His voice, while pleasant and alluring, was nothing like Merlin’s.

“Yes.” Arthur said simply as the whore wrapped the blanket around him and walked him over to the chair in front of the fireplace.

“My father would kill me if he knew I was in a brothel right now.” Arthur said.

The whore laughed a little at that. “I wish I was paid extra every time someone told me that.” He said, kneeling to pull off Arthur’s soaked boots. He pulled off one and set it in front of the fire, giving Arthur’s newly bared ankle a small kiss. Then he did the same to the other foot. Arthur liked it more than he would ever let on.

“What is your name?” Arthur asked.

“Rory.”

“Rory…” Arthur didn’t like it. “How did you become… what you are?”

“A prostitute?” Rory smirked at him. “I figured if I was going to have sex with men, I might as well get paid for it.”

“The decision was that easy?”

“Yup.” Rory hung up Arthur’s soaked clothes. “There are quite a few men in the world that would like to sleep with another man, but are too ashamed. That’s what I’m here for. People like that. They come in, anyone who sees them assumes they are there to be with a woman. But then they ask for me. And no one they know will be the wiser about it.”

“Hm.” Arthur said simply.

“We have your horse taken care of. It’s being fed and rubbed down now.”

“Thanks.”

He watched the whore pour him some wine. He accepted it gladly.

“What can I call you?” Rory asked.

“You can call me Arthur, as that is my name.”

Rory raised his eyebrows. “Brave of you, not using a fake name.”

“I’m only passing through. No one I know even knows I’m travelling through this way.” Arthur sipped the cheap wine.

“Would you like me to unpack your bags so your clothes can dry?”

“If you would.”

Arthur watched the whore pull his wet clothes out of his bags, wringing them out into a bucket and then hanging them beside the fire.

He worked silently and efficiently, until he pulled out a shirt with the royal insignia on it.

“Um,” Rory said, holding the shirt up to see it better. “Are you…. a member of the royal court or something?”

Arthur considered whether or not to lie. “I’ve- Yes, I’m a member of the royal court back in the city of Camelot.”

Rory’s eyes went wide. “Wow…” He murmured. “Never been with royalty before.”

Arthur got a strange sort of thrill at the whore’s new reverence towards him. He kept stealing glances at Arthur, like he was seeing him completely different now.

Rory finished his task of hanging up the prince’s clothes. He stared at Arthur for a while.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Go ahead.” Arthur forced himself to take another drink of wine. It was very bitter.

“Please don’t make fun of me for asking this but… I’ve heard descriptions of the prince before-”

_ I shouldn’t have given my real name… _ Arthur thought.

“-And, he was described as looking how you look. And… you said you are royalty from Camelot so…..” Rory chewed on his bottom lip.

“So what is your question?”

“Are you… Prince Arthur?” The whore wrung his hands together and he looked both hopeful and embarrassed at his own question.

Arthur chewed the inside of his cheek, considering whether or not to like “I would appreciate your discretion-”

Rory’s eyes widened.

“-I’d rather my people not know that the prince of Camelot visited a brothel and spent the night with a male prostitute.”

Rory didn’t even seem offended at that. He practically beamed. “Sire.” He bowed, and Arthur got another strange thrill at that. “I’m honored.”

Arthur smiled to himself as the whore approached and ran his long fingers through Arthur’s golden hair. “You’re very handsome.” He said. “As handsome as they say.”

“Thank you.”

“May I?” Rory got on his knees and motioned towards Arthur’s groin.

Arthur gripped the wine glass tightly. It was all becoming a bit too real. He was about to be properly intimate with another male.

Another male who looked fairly similar to Merlin… Who had the same sparkling eyes and cheeky grin…

Arthur swallowed. “Go ahead.” He said, trying to sound off-handed, like it didn’t matter.

_ Oh, gods _ .

Arthur bit the inside of his cheek as Rory’s mouth enveloped his still soft cock and sucked on it softly. His tongue was heavenly. His mouth was amazingly hot.

Arthur had his eyes shut at first, then he opened them, looking down at Rory’s dark head between his thighs. He let himself pretend that it was Merlin’s mouth on his cock, sucking on it like it was a delicious treat.

He touched the whore’s hair delicately. His hair was like silk strands. Arthur was able to entwine his fingers in it.

This whore was a thousand times better than Robin’s sad attempt at giving him oral pleasure. Robin truly had not known what he was doing…

Rory got him properly hard, and pulled off. Arthur couldn’t pretend he was Merlin anymore, looking him directly in the face.

Before Arthur knew it, the whore’s clothes were off and he was leading Arthur to bed, encouraging him to sit.

Arthur had, of course, seen Merlin in his entirety a few times without his former servant even knowing. Rory, though he lacked the long frame, was just as pale and slender. Arthur didn’t care that his cock was a good deal smaller than Merlin’s. Arthur didn’t see a need for Merlin to have that big of an endowment, since he had always pictured himself on top as they made love.

“Do you like what you see, my lord?” Rory purred, as Arthur placed his hands on the whore’s hips.

“I do. You really… remind me of someone…”

“An old lover?”

“Not quite. Just a friend…”

“Did you want to be more than friends?”

Arthur felt his heart twist painfully. “... Yes. I did. But he was taken up with someone else.”

“I’m sorry about that.” Rory brushed Arthur’s face lightly. “He doesn’t know what he’s missing. You are such a handsome man.”

Arthur knew he was only being like this because he was paid to, but he didn’t care. He liked hearing him say it.

“May I ask what happened here?” Rory touched Arthur’s lip.

“Training accident.” Arthur said automatically.

“Looks swollen. Does it hurt?”

“It throbs a bit.” Arthur touched it and winced.

“It might get infected.” Rory said concernedly.

“It’s fine.” Arthur said brusquely. “Are you a physician or a whore?”

Rory looked a bit hurt by that, but he dropped the subject. “Does it hurt if I kiss you?”

“Just be careful.”

As Rory leaned in and pressed a delicate kiss to his mouth, Arthur closed his eyes and imagined it was Merlin’s mouth pressing against his.

Arthur couldn’t move his lips like he wanted to, and Rory assured him that it was okay.

As Rory moved onto the bed and Arthur stood in front of him, their previous positions now reversed, Rory didn’t even try to pretend that he wasn’t enthralled with Arthur’s form. “My lord, you look incredible.” He said reverently.

“You can call me Arthur, you know.” Arthur said on a whim. Merlin rarely called the prince by a proper title.

Rory’s eyes widened. “You’re fine with that?”

“For this evening.”

Once again, Rory looked honored. He let Arthur kiss him again. “Can’t believe I’m about to have sex with a real prince.” He grinned.

“Need I remind you that you promised to be discreet.”

“I will sire- I mean, Arthur.” Rory promised.

“How do we… We have oil, right?”

Rory rolled over to the bedside table and pulled a small jar of oil out.

“I hope you are planning on prepping yourself.” The whore may remind him of Merlin, but he was still uneasy with sticking his clean fingers inside of a male.

“I’m already ready for you, sire.” Rory lifted his legs up to show Arthur. “I keep myself ready all day.”

“Doesn’t that take a lot of effort?”

Rory looked at him like he was being amusing. “I have things I use to keep myself open, sire.”

“Oh…” Arthur tried not to blush imagining that. He’d stuck something in Robin before, sure, but more for the discomfort Robin would feel, not for functionality. “Also, I told you to call me Arthur.”

“I keep forgetting.”

Arthur slicked himself up, ignoring the way Rory watched him eagerly with his legs in the air.

Arthur positioned himself in front of Rory’s opening, hesitating.

“Go ahead, Arthur.” Rory purred. “I can’t wait to feel you in me.”

_ Such a whore’s line _ , Arthur thought dryly. He hesitated for a bit longer.

“Arthur?”

“Could you turn onto your stomach instead?” It might be easier to not look him in the face.

“Of course.” Rory rolled over, tucking his legs underneath himself, and stretching out his arms.

Gods, that expanse of creamy white skin… like it was untouched by the sun… That unruly mop of black hair….

Arthur stroked the whore’s back, encouraged by the noise of pleasure he made. “Arthur…” the whore said seductively. “Please, don’t make me wait any longer.”

Arthur pressed the tip of his cock to the whore’s opening. “Can I make one more request?”

“What is it?”

“Can I call you Merlin?”

******************************************************************************

Arthur spooned the whore, exhausted. Rory seemed tired, too. He had climaxed ages before Arthur, who was surprised at how long he had lasted. He’d heard so many jokes about men not lasting long their first time, but that definitely hadn’t been the case for the prince.

Arthur had worked up a sweat. His hair felt damp again.

He had moved the whore into a myriad of different positions, his favorite being when they were both standing beside the bed, the whore bent over, his hands on the bed gripping the mattress while Arthur stood behind him, thrusting with wild abandon. The whore had greedily pushed back into his thrusts, calling out his name in rapture.

When Arthur couldn’t see his face, he couldn’t stop fantasizing that it was his Merlin, not a common prostitute, that he was with. It was his Merlin crying out his name. Arthur was unable to be ashamed of the fact that he called out Merlin’s name multiple times. The whore didn’t mind at all, going along with it easily.

Now, curled up with the whore, looking at the back of his head in the dark, Arthur was once again taken in by his fantasy.

“Merlin.” He said softly. “My Merlin.” He pressed a small kiss to the back of the whore’s head, breathing in the scent of spices and herbs.

The whore shifted but didn’t say anything.

Arthur ran his fingers through those silky locks. “I miss you, Merlin.” He whispered. “Why did you have to leave?”

He heard the whore’s breathing pattern change, like he was nervous.

“You would still be by my side if it weren’t for that boy.” Arthur murmured. “I know you would never have left me otherwise. We were so happy until he entered your life.”

The whore tensed up.

“Father would kill me if he knew how I felt.” Arthur breathed a sigh into that silky hair. “Sometimes I care and sometimes I don’t. All I know for a fact is that I need you back with me, Merlin.”

“Sire.” The whore whispered, soft and scared. The illusion was broken. “I- I don’t know what you want from me.”

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, once again inhaling the whore’s scent, wrapping an arm around his waist, causing the whore to squeak in alarm. “You just…. you remind me of someone I knew. He was taken away from me by someone else. I need him back in my life.” Arthur’s grip tightened. “You could never possibly understand it, but he was so important to me. More than I cared to ever admit to myself. I let him get taken away from me. But I’ll get him back soon. I’ll find them.”

He heard the whore swallow hard. “How- how do you plan on getting him back?”

Arthur smiled a little to himself, reimagining the scene that had kept him searching for Merlin for nearly three days, through the cold and wet. “I’m going to find them. I’m going to grab that whore who stole him from me and cut his throat. I’m going to watch every ounce of his lifeblood pour out until he’s cold and stiff. Then I’ll make Merlin understand why I did it, and what he means to me. Then, we’ll go back to Camelot. He’ll serve me and only me again. And I’ll keep him in my bed, away from anyone who would ever steal him from me again.”

******************************************************************************

Rory was gone when Arthur woke up the next day. He huffed in annoyance that he would be forced to repack his own bags, but other than that he couldn’t care less.

He carried his bags downstairs. He passed by Rory, barely sparing him a glance. The madam of the house smirked at him as he approached her, and he ignored that too. “Is my horse ready?”

“If by ready, you mean ‘tied out behind the building’, then yes.” The madam told him. “I’m afraid saddling your horse is not  _ quite  _ included in the fee to spend the night with one of my workers.”

Arthur started to say something scathing, but he stopped himself. “Is the horse at least dry and fed?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” Arthur turned and walked out the door and around back to his horse.

Saddling her was a frustrating task, but he made it work eventually. He tied his bags to her and climbed on.

He directed her back onto the main path in front of the brothel. He looked over briefly to see Rory peering out at him from the door. He watched Rory for about two seconds before focussing on the road before him.

The whore had certainly been fun for the night, and he had really known what he was doing, but Arthur pushed the thoughts of him away and instead let his mind wander to finding his Merlin once more.

He let himself smile a bit as he pictured Merlin riding with him on the horse, maybe behind him so he could wrap his arms around the prince. Or in front, so Arthur could have him lean back against him and inhale his pleasant scent while Arthur guided the horse back to their home in Camelot.

******************************************************************************

Arthur had scarcely entered the woods when he heard shouts and the sound of galloping horses. At once, before even looking behind him, he drew his sword.

Turning his head to look back, he saw 5 of his own knights from Camelot fast approaching him.

“Stop, by order of the king.” One of the knights demanded.

Arthur tensed his jaw, pulling back on the reins to halt his horse, keeping his sword drawn.

His knights surrounded him quickly. “Put the sword away, sire. We have direct orders from King Uther to use any force necessary to bring you back to Camelot.” One of them said.

“I am the prince.” Arthur said through gritted teeth. “You have no right to treat me like a common thief.”

“I repeat, we have  _ direct orders  _ from the king himself. Put the sword away and climb down from the horse.”

“I’ve done nothing wrong.” Arthur insisted.

“Climb down, sire.” The same knight spoke again. Arthur was fairly certain his name was Bennet. “I don’t want to have to use force, sire.” Bennet said. Two of the knights got down from their horses and started carefully approaching him, their swords also drawn.

“This is ridiculous.” Arthur scoffed. “The prince leaves for a few days and the king demands he be chased down and arrested?”

“Sire…” Bennet said in a warning tone. Arthur glared down at the knights approaching him with their swords drawn. “This could be considered resisting arrest. Think carefully how you want to proceed.”

“I **_will not_** go back to Camelot without Merlin!” Arthur slashed his sword downward at the knights coming closer, and urged his horse to break into a run.

Instead, one knight grabbed her bridle quickly and yanked down. The horse reared up, frightened and confused.

Beyond angry, Arthur raised his sword and prepared to strike the knight trying to hold onto the bridle when he was pulled forcefully backwards by his shirt by the second knight and thrown to the ground while the horse was freaking out and rearing up.

The instant Arthur hit the ground, he was winded. He gasped for air as he was rolled onto his stomach and his hands were bound.

“You swore an oath to me and this is how I am treated?” Arthur said, after being pulled up to his feet and catching his breath.

“I’m afraid the king outranks you, sire.” Bennet said dryly.

Arthur burned with fury as his already-bound hands were also clasped with iron cuffs around his forearms, a long chain hanging from the cuffs that was being held by Bennet.

“We’ll help you back onto your horse now, sire.” Bennet said calmly. “I trust you won’t try to run with the precautions we’ve had to take.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur kept his head down as he was led through the town again on his horse, hands bound and cuffed and the chain held by Bennet, who was on his own horse beside him.

Arthur’s sword had been taken from him. The townspeople were staring at him. He had never felt more anger and resentment and bitterness in his entire life.

Artemis was winning the war, at this rate. Arthur’s chest heaved with fury. He had Arthur’s Merlin, and Arthur was being led back to the kingdom like a prisoner in chains.

Arthur tightened his fists so much he thought his fingernails might cut into his palms. Slitting Artemis’ throat seemed too kind now. Arthur would have to think of a better, more fitting death.

As they passed by the brothel, Bennet gave a dry laugh. “Found you by checking in there.”

“You think I would ever go into a brothel?” Arthur scoffed.

“Not initially, no. But a young man was hanging outside and he immediately asked if we were with Prince Arthur.”

_ Stupid, stupid whore _ , Arthur thought.

“We asked where you had gone and he said you had only left minutes before, and the direction you had gone.” Bennet gave him a look. “Interesting that you not only spent time in a brothel, but also revealed your identity there.”

Did Bennet suspect that he had spent the night with the male whore? Arthur hoped not.

“I only stopped in there briefly to get out of the rain last night.” Arthur grumbled.

“And told everyone in there who you were?”

Arthur said nothing in response to that.

“In other circumstances, I’d be angry that you endangered your life by announcing who you were to people. But in this case, I’m glad you were foolish enough to do so.”

“You may be leading me back in chains, but be careful in the way you speak to me.” Arthur warned. “I am still your prince.”

“Naturally, sire.” Bennet said, staring straight ahead.

Arthur spotted Rory peeking out from a window. Arthur narrowed his eyes at the sight of him and wished his arms weren’t bound and chained so he could leap off the horse and strangle the boy.

Rory’s eyes widened and he disappeared from the window.

Arthur added his name to the list of people he would like to see dead.


	24. Chapter 24

Merlin woke up to blinding pain radiating in his skull.

‘Woke up’ wasn’t really the right way to describe it.

He couldn’t open his eyes for the life of him. He couldn’t feel his own body. He was fairly certain he was lying down, but he couldn’t be too sure.

He could feel some vibrations underneath himself. If he focussed hard enough through his pain, he thought he heard what sounded like wheels squeaking and turning.

Was he in a wagon? That would explain the jostling and the vibrations underneath him.

_ Why _ would he be in a wagon?

Merlin tried his hardest to open his eyes, but his eyelids refused to cooperate. He heard himself groan as his migraine worsened in response to his effort.

Merlin felt himself reluctantly fading back into darkness.

****************************************************************************************************************************************

_ It had been raining for nearly two days straight, pretty much ever since Merlin and Artemis had left the town they had stayed in. _

_ The dried meat was gone. They hadn’t come across another town. There was no place to take shelter. The previous night, they had huddled under the overhang of a cliff, desperate for some sleep and to be out of the rain. Their legs stuck out from under the overhang, so they couldn’t even stay completely dry. _

_ Merlin found it difficult to sleep that night, and Artemis looked like he was having a hard time as well. They were uncomfortable, to put it lightly, and the loud thunder and blinding lightning didn’t help. _

_ Artemis’ mood worsened with every hour. Merlin couldn’t speak to him or touch him with getting some kind of backlash, like Artemis blatantly ignoring his attempts at conversation, or twisting away when Merlin tried to take his hand. _

_ In short, Artemis was incredibly grouchy. _

*****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin awoke again. This time, his eyes opened automatically, only to be filled with a blinding white pain that forced him to close them at once.

His head still ached and throbbed. His body was still numb, but now he was certain that he was lying on his side. He couldn’t hear the turning of the wheels or the previous bumps and vibrations of the road. He assumed that meant they had stopped. Whoever ‘they’ were.

He heard footsteps coming towards him. He tried to open his eyes to see who it was, but his eyelids were back to being uncooperative.

“He hasn’t moved.” Merlin heard a gruff voice say.

“Check him over. Make sure he’s still alive.” Another voice ordered.

Merlin felt a small point of pressure on his neck and he realized after a moment that someone was checking his pulse.

“Pulse is fine.” The first person said.

There was a bit of silence. “Breathing is good.” The same person said again.

Merlin heard the footsteps moving away from him. There was silence again before the second person said impatiently, “Well? What are you waiting for?”

“Last time I checked this one over, he bit me.” The first person said defensively.

_ Artemis?  _ Merlin thought. It sounded like something Artemis would do.

“Come  _ on _ .” The second person said. “Just check him over so we can get moving again. I want to make it to town by the end of the week.”

There was more silence. “Hm.”

“What?”

“Pulse is… slower than I’d like.” The first person said. Merlin felt his heart plummet.

“Well, how much of that stuff did you give him?”

“Not sure…”

“ _ Odo _ .” Merlin thought the second man was cursing in another language before he realized that was probably the first man’s name. “Didn’t you check the measurements before you put it in their bowls?”

“I- couldn’t find the measurer in the wagon. I just kind of guessed.”

The second man huffed. “Well, how is his breathing?”

Another moment of quiet before Odo said, “More faint than I would like.”

Merlin felt his chest tighten. Was Artemis going to be okay?

“If he dies, it’s on you.”

“He won’t die.” Odo said, sounding annoyed. But he also didn’t sound like he was certain of what he had just said.

“We’ll get a move on. If he’s dead when we check him again, we’ll dump him out somewhere.”

“Agreed.”

Merlin heard the footsteps walking away. He felt himself fade away again.

***************************************************************************************************************************************

_ The rain had been stopped for over an hour, but Artemis was still grumpy. He and Merlin had been walking in awkward silence all day. Both of their stomachs gurgled from hunger intermittently. _

_ It had been dark for some time, and Merlin wanted to find a decent, dry spot to sleep. _

_ Merlin spotted what could only be the light from a small campfire. He felt Artemis grab his wrist and tug him towards it.  _

_ “Artemis, I don’t think we should-” Merlin started to protest, but Artemis insisted on pulling him toward the light of the fire. Merlin decided to go along with it. Hopefully, whoever was at the campfire was friendly. _

_ Two men, both middle-aged, sat in front of the fire, side-by-side. They looked surprised and curious to see Merlin and Artemis approaching. _

_ “.... Hello…” The man on the left spoke first. He had red hair and scruffy facial hair growing in patches. _

_ Merlin suddenly felt awkward as the two men stared at them. “Sorry to intrude.” Merlin said, “but we’ve been walking for two days and we are soaked and starving. Could we sit here for a bit?” _

_ The man on the right looked them over before shrugging. “Sure.” He said. Merlin and Artemis sat immediately in front of the fire. “We were about to eat.” The man gestured to the cast iron pot hanging over the fire. “We can grab you two bowls if you want some.” _

_ “That’s incredibly kind of you. Thank you.” Merlin said, hearing Artemis’ stomach grumble loudly again. “We ran out of dried meats yesterday.” _

_ Merlin looked behind them to the right to spot a small covered wagon. He couldn’t see the horses, but he heard them shuffle and stamp from somewhere in the distance. _

_ “Kind of hard to trap and cook food in the rain, isn’t it?” The red-haired man said sympathetically as the second man got up to presumably fetch the bowls from the wagon. “We managed to find a cave to cook in and sleep in yesterday. We got lucky.” _

_ “How did you find dry wood?” _

_ “We stored some in the wagon days ago before we headed out on our journey.” _

_ “So.. what are you doing out here?” Merlin tried to keep up friendly conversation as he waited for the other man to return with the bowls for their food. _

_ “We are fur traders.” _

_ “Wow. Is that a good job?” _

_ “Depends on the time of year.” The man shrugged. He looked at Artemis. “Are you shy? What’s your name?” _

_ “He’s Artemis. I’m Merlin.” Merlin replied. The red-haired man looked at him strangely. Merlin realized that he probably thought Merlin was being rude to Artemis, not letting him talk. “Sorry, Artemis can’t speak.” _

_ “Ohhh…” The man said, as the second man finally appeared with their bowls, carrying one in each hand. _

_ Merlin looked over at Artemis to see if he seemed offended that Merlin had revealed both his name and his status as a mute to two strangers, but he seemed more focussed on the food being put in their bowls by the dark-haired man. _

_ “I’m Aldous. That’s Odo.” The red-haired man said. _

_ “Nice to meet both of you.” Merlin accepted his food gratefully. “We appreciate your hospitality.” He added, as Artemis started devouring his food. _

_ Merlin took a few bites before Aldous spoke again. “Why can’t he speak? Did he have an accident?” _

_ Again, Merlin looked at Artemis to judge his reaction to the question before answering. “No, he’s been mute from birth. Right, Artemis?” Artemis nodded, practically inhaling his food. _

_ Odo seemed more quiet, considering them both and looking them over carefully, sometimes scratching his thick, black beard. Merlin felt uneasy about being stared at, but he tried to ignore it. Artemis didn’t seem to notice, emptying his food bowl and sighing in contentment. _

_ Merlin got near the bottom of his bowl and noticed a bitter aftertaste to the meal. He tried to ignore it. He was so hungry he’d have eaten anything at this point with no complaints, but it was definitely odd… _

_ “Why are you two young lads travelling out here, so close to wintertime?” Odo asked as Merlin finished his food. His voice was low and Merlin felt uneasy about his tone. _

_ “Just… visiting some relatives. We… we are heading to their town to visit them.” Merlin said, struggling to lie convincingly. He had been teased his whole life about being a terrible liar. _

_ “I see.” Odo scratched his beard again. “You two have jobs where you are from? What kind of work do you do?” _

_ Merlin thought it was an odd question to ask, but technically he  _ did  _ ask about their jobs first. “Artemis works in some stables. I do housework. Er, like, a servant. I’m not a servant, though. I just work for some people. I did anyway. I don’t anymore.” Merlin rambled, trying to form cohesive thought. _

_ “Steady there, lad.” Aldous sounded amused. _

_ Merlin heard Artemis shuffle next to him. Was he feeling uneasy like Merlin? _

_ “The mute worked in the stables, eh?” Odo said, in the same strange, low tone. “Must be used to hard labor.” _

_ “I’m sorry?” Merlin asked for clarification. _

_ Odo ignored him, looking at Aldous. “Are they worth it, do you think?” _

_ “Merlin looks scrawny,” Aldous noted to his companion. _

_ “Maybe we can sell his talents as a housekeeper or servant to someone.” Odo offered. _

_ “Hopefully. The mute one might sell faster…” _

_ “What?” Merlin hoped he misunderstood. He turned his head with great effort to look at Artemis, whose head was drooping. Merlin realized his own hands were growing numb. _

_ “Don’t worry yourself.” Aldous said dismissively. “We’re just discussing business amongst ourselves.” _

_ “Business?” Merlin struggled to speak; his tongue felt sluggish and slow.  _

_ “It’s just two people.” Odo said to his companion. “Do you think the return trip to Landow will even be worth it for two people?” _

_ “We are barely five days away from Landow if we do head back tomorrow morning. Little extra gold in our pockets seems worth it.” _

_ “Hm.” Odo said. He seemed to be appraising Merlin and Artemis with his eyes, like he was deciding how much they might fetch him at market. _

_ Merlin felt his mind get fuzzier. He knew the kind of town that Landow was from when he lived in the west. He knew what kind of ‘business’ was conducted there. _

_ He also knew exactly what kind of men Aldous and Odo were now. He shouldn’t have let Artemis drag him towards these people _

_ Merlin felt fear rise up in him. “Not fur traders, are you?” He said in a slurred voice. _

_ Odo snorted a laugh and Aldous grinned. _

_ Merlin felt Artemis slump up against him. Merlin tried to stand. “Have to go.” He murmured, his legs also growing numb. _

_ “Nonsense.” Odo said. “You can stay with us for the night.” _

_ “No.” Merlin protested. He tried to use his numb hands to push himself up, but his body was no longer cooperating. His head was starting to droop like Artemis’ had. _

_ Odo got up and walked over to him. Merlin felt the man’s strong hand grip him by the shoulder and eased him back against the ground. He heard a thump and realized Artemis must have fallen to the ground as well. _

_ Merlin tried to keep his eyes open, even tried calling on his magic to help him out a little somehow, but neither happened. _

_ His last image was Odo standing over him, saying something to his companion that Merlin could no longer hear. _

****************************************************************************************************************************************

Merlin awoke again. His eyes opened slowly. His limbs still felt numb. His throat was parched and dry. His vision was blurry and he blinked rapidly to clear his vision, managing to focus in on the still figure of Artemis about four feet away from him. Artemis was lying deathly still on his side, facing Merlin.

Merlin tried to swallow. “Artemis.” He croaked out, with great difficulty. He dragged himself closer, realizing for the first time that both his wrists and upper arms were bound tightly together with rope. He used his elbows to pull himself closer to Artemis, hearing the sound of metal sliding behind him.

He looked behind himself. His ankles were also bound together, as were his thighs. However, instead of using rope for his ankles, his captors had used metal cuffs, with a thick chain attached. He saw that the end of the chain was attached to a metal loop sticking out of the wagon floor.

Merlin wasn’t too concerned about the rope situation. He could easily use magic to break his bonds. And Artemis’, who was bound and secured with a chain as well.

His magic.

Merlin felt a surge of panic as he realized he couldn’t feel his magic like he normally did. It was usually a constant presence, coursing through his veins, directly under his skin. And now… there was nothing.

Was it the chains? Was it something in whatever his captors had drugged him with? Merlin swallowed hard. He had never felt so completely helpless.

He looked at Artemis in front of him. First things first.

One of the men had checked Artemis’ pulse before. He said it was weak, as was his breathing. Merlin scooted in close and managed to press a finger to Artemis’ neck.

It definitely wasn’t… great… but it didn’t concern Merlin too much. Artemis’ pulse was light, but when Merlin counted, it was within normal range.

Artemis’ skin was warm, not cold or clammy as Merlin feared it might be. That was a good sign.

He wanted to lean in and listen to his lungs, to make sure Artemis wasn’t having any breathing difficulties, but he couldn’t move into the proper position to manage that. He ended up hovering his bound hands under Artemis’ nose and feeling his gusts of breath as he breathed in and out.

Again, not the best. But not too bad.

Merlin remembered one of the men saying Artemis had managed to bite him. Clearly, Artemis had woken up at some point and had the strength to retaliate when the men had checked him over. Merlin had every confidence Artemis would be fine. Whatever they had been drugged with just needed to leave his system. The men  _ had  _ mentioned he had accidentally been given more than Merlin.

Merlin was about to collapse from thirst. He was able to look up, towards the back of the covered wagon. His and Artemis’ bags were open, and their few belongings were strewn about. Merlin saw that his hide blanket had been taken out completely and dumped in a corner. His magical gemstone was lying next to his bag. Merlin wondered if it had shown them anything when they touched it. He hoped not. He didn’t need them suspecting he was a sorcerer.

He spotted the waterskins. He had half-expected the men to have taken them. They were thankfully still full.

Merlin experimentally reached out with his magic, hoping maybe it would flutter to life and bring the waterskin to him. Nothing happened.

Pushing down his worries again, he dragged himself up towards the waterskins, stretching out as far as he could, grabbing one of them weakly between his hands and using his thumbs to pop the cap off. He drank eagerly, draining the entire thing in under a minute.

He took a moment before grabbing Artemis’ water and scooted back down towards him.

Merlin pressed the back of his hand to Artemis’ face. “Hey, Artemis. Wake up.” He lightly patted his cheek.

It took a couple of minutes, but Artemis slowly opened one eye.

“You need to drink some water.” Merlin told him. He popped the cap off and offered it to Artemis.

Artemis opened his mouth weakly and Merlin pressed the opening to his mouth, gently squeezing, feeling relieved when he saw Artemis drinking.

“I’ve no clue how long we’ve been out.” Merlin said in a hushed voice. “Those two men drugged us with something. I’ve no idea what with.”

He waited for Artemis to empty the waterskin before saying, “I’m pretty sure they’re slave traders, Artemis…”

He saw Artemis squeeze his eyes shut like he was in pain. Either he had a migraine like Merlin had had before, or it was in response to what Merlin said. Possibly both.

“Before the drugs knocked me out, I heard them saying that they are taking us to a town called Landow. That’s a place pretty well-known in Essetir for thriving off the backs of slave labor. I remember being warned a lot about that place when I lived in the west…” Merlin managed to use one finger to put under Artemis’ chin. “Listen to me, though. We are **_not_** going to be sold, alright? We are going to escape. Again, I’m not sure how long we have been out, but one of the men said they would be to the town they are taking us to by the end of the week. We have plenty of time to escape.” Merlin put a lot of determination in his voice, like he was trying to convince Artemis of this.

_ If my magic doesn’t come back, how will we escape? _ Merlin thought, and then banished that thought. They  **_were_ ** going to escape. Merlin refused to consider anything else.

Artemis opened one eye again. He looked distraught and worried.

“Hey,” Merlin said, wishing he could cup Artemis’ face in his hands, “I’m serious. They are not going to sell us. I’m not sure when, but the perfect time to get free will come soon, and we are going to take it when it does.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin hadn’t been expecting Aldous to carry around a crossbow with him.

Odo and Aldous had dragged them out of the wagon and plopped them down near the fire. Their ankles were still bound with metal cuffs, but Aldous had unlocked the chain from the cuffs before dragging them outside.

Merlin had no idea why they took the time or effort to bring them out of the wagon and set them in front of the fire, but he also didn’t care about their reasons. He was tired of being on his side or back in the covered wagon. He appreciated the sunlight from the setting sun. He’d prefer to not be tied up and watched by two slave traders, but he would be changing that soon enough.

Merlin went ahead and asked for some water. His thirst had returned and it was growing worse by the minute. His captors laughed at him. “We saw you had gotten into your waterskins.” Aldous said. “You’re not getting anymore.” 

He and Artemis were about 6 feet away from each other. Artemis had been placed slightly closer to the fire Aldous had made before he had grabbed his crossbow and headed into the forest to hunt for some food.

Odo leaned against a tree, sometimes watching the fire, sometimes looking over at Merlin and Artemis.

Artemis was sitting up, staring at the fire, stealing worried glances at Merlin. Merlin tried to wordlessly convey that everything would be alright. But Artemis remained anxious.

Merlin was more confident now than before. He could feel his magic fluttering weakly under his skin. It was growing stronger by the hour. He decided whatever had been in the drugs they gave him had temporarily snuffed it out.

“What was in the stuff you drugged us with?” Merlin asked Odo boldly. Odo gave him an annoyed look. “What?” He asked.

“The stuff you put in our bowls to drug us. What all is in it?”

“Do I look like a plant expert? How the hell should I know?” Odo scoffed. “Now shut up.”

“So you don’t make it?” Merlin said. “Who supplies you with it?”

“We know people.” Odo said. “Let’s leave it at that. Take a page out of your friend’s book and stay quiet.”

Merlin heard Artemis take a shaky breath, still staring at the fire. Odo must have heard it too. He grinned unpleasantly at Artemis. “Not the best idea you ever had, was it? Approaching two strangers in the middle of the night and asking for food. Can’t blame anyone but yourself.” Odo took a gulp of his own water. “You probably figured out by now that we’re going to sell you for a decent amount of gold. Well…” Odo eyed Artemis. “ _ You’ll _ be getting sold for a fair amount. You look like you can handle a bit of hard work. Your scrawny, talkative friend looks like he might collapse on the first day of hard labor.”

_ Rude… _

Merlin wanted to once again reassure Artemis that they would be perfectly fine. He was going to get them out of here with his magic after nightfall. He wished Artemis knew about his magic. He wished he had told him a long time ago. Their journey would have been easier with Merlin using magic to catch food, start fires, etcetera.

But with Artemis’ apparent fear and aversion to sorcery and magic, Merlin had thought it best to wait a little longer before revealing it to him.

He really regretted that decision now.

Merlin had several half-formed plans of how to escape after nightfall, all of which required Artemis to be asleep so he could use magic. Maybe he could use magic on his bonds, and grab the knife from their bag (provided the men hadn’t stolen it for themselves) and cut Artemis loose after waking him up. Artemis would just have to wonder how Merlin had managed to get himself free first.

Then there was the matter of needing to be completely silent. If their captors woke up at any point, it was over for them both. Especially with Aldous carrying around that crossbow.

Merlin mulled over several ideas in his head, as well as each scenario where everything went horribly wrong. The most important thing, other than escaping safely, was keeping Artemis from finding out he had magic. If things went south fast, Merlin might not have a choice but use it and deal with the aftermath with Artemis.

He didn’t want to deal with it.

******************************************************************************

Aldous returned eventually with two dead rabbits, which Merlin and Artemis watched him skin and gut.

Aldous then skewered the rabbits and hung them over the fire. As the meat cooked, and the smell filled the air, both Merlin’s and Artemis’ stomachs growled, causing their captors to laugh at them.

“You won’t be getting any of this tonight.” Aldous taunted them.

Aldous sat very close to the fire, opposite to Artemis, his crossbow beside him. Merlin saw that a bolt was loaded in it.

Merlin heard Artemis’ stomach growl again, loudly, and it made his heart twist. When they got out of here, he was going to treat Artemis to the best meal he had ever had.

Odo and Aldous laughed again at Artemis’ stomach noise, causing him to lower his head against his knees, like he was trying not to look at the meat cooking.

Merlin felt a spark of annoyance. His magic tried to spark to life as well, and he shoved it down. If Merlin lost control of his magic for whatever reason, Aldous had his fully loaded crossbow right there and could probably shoot him or Artemis within seconds.

Merlin eyed the crossbow. Maybe tonight, he could free himself and silently use magic to call the crossbow to himself while the men slept before freeing Artemis. At least they would be armed with a long-distance weapon and Aldous wouldn’t be.

Aldous caught him looking. “Don’t get any ideas, boy.” He said, sounding more amused than anything else. “Don’t think you could steal my bow without me noticing, all tied up like that. The bolt would be in your throat before you could get anywhere near it.”

_ If only you knew what I was capable of _ , Merlin thought wryly.

Artemis went back to staring at the rabbits when Odo took the now-cooked meat off the skewers and laid them on a plate that was very near Artemis to cool off. He remarked to Aldous it would be cool enough to eat soon.

Merlin saw Artemis lick his lips at the sight of the steaming rabbit meat. Artemis looked over at Odo, who was back to leaning against the tree, picking under his nails with his teeth. Then Artemis looked at Aldous, who was watching the fire.

Merlin wanted to shout, “No!” At Artemis when he realized Artemis was about to risk it all for a bit of rabbit meat.

But next thing he knew, Artemis was more or less thrusting himself forward, falling on his elbows dangerously close to the fire. He used his finger tips to snag the rabbit meat and shoved some into his mouth.

Merlin looked sharply at Aldous, terrified he was about to raise up his crossbow and fire at Artemis for stealing their food.

Instead, Aldous looked surprised, then burst out laughing.

It was Odo who got up, looking pissed, and went over to Artemis, grabbing him by the back of the neck and lifting him up. Merlin felt a surge of rage go through him as Odo roughly smacked Artemis across the face. The sound was sickening and rang out into the air. Then he crammed his fingers into Artemis’ mouth and started trying to take the food out even as Artemis twisted side to side to get away from him.

Odo forced Artemis onto his knees and knelt in front of him, now grabbing him by the throat and digging his disgusting fingers in Artemis’ mouth, getting out the bits of rabbit, slinging it to the ground before prying Artemis’ mouth open like he was making sure he got it all.

Merlin could hear his blood roaring in his ears as he witnessed this. His anger increased as Aldous seemed to be having the time of his life, cackling at the sight of Odo literally prying food out of Artemis’ mouth. He felt his jaw tighten and his magic thrummed anxiously in his veins.

Odo threw Artemis backwards against the ground. “What the hell were you doing? Are you completely stupid?” He shouted at Artemis as Aldous continued to be entertained by it all.

“Please,” Merlin said, trying to sound pleading, but unable to disguise the anger in his tone, “he was just hungry. Let him be.”

Odo didn’t acknowledge what he had said whatsoever. He gripped Artemis’ hair, (that lovely, thick hair that Merlin was obsessed with petting and stroking during their intimate moments) used his grip to force Artemis still, and gave him a solid punch to the nose. Then he punched Artemis’ right cheekbone a couple of times, then another hard hit to the jaw.

Merlin felt fury like none other fill his entire being. His magic burned under his skin. The moment Artemis locked eyes with him pleadingly was when he snapped.

Merlin felt his bonds unravel from his body, felt the snapping of metal as his ankles were freed from their metal cuffs. He stood up, his magic unleashing, forcing Odo off of Artemis and making him tumble several feet away roughly.

He heard Aldous swear and saw him reach for the crossbow out of the corner of his eye. In a second, he willed the crossbow away from Aldous. Without a single bit of hesitation, Merlin made the crossbow hover a couple of feet in front of its owner, and fire it’s bolt into Aldous’ throat. He felt nothing but satisfaction as Aldous went down in a heap.

Merlin turned his attention once again to Odo, who was scrambling backwards in terror. He raised his hands like he was asking for mercy, and opened his mouth to say something. Probably to beg for his life.

Merlin didn’t give him the chance. He used his magic to lift Odo into the air, and slung him backwards into a tree. Merlin heard a cracking sound.

He stalked over to Odo, stepping over Artemis in the process. He stood over Odo’s body.

He narrowed his eyes at the sight of Odo struggling to breathe. He looked to be in immense pain. The man’s eyes were wide in fear. Merlin gave himself a minute to take in the sight. He recalled the sickening sound of this man hitting Merlin’s lover, the sight of his hands gripping Artemis’ hair and digging food out of his mouth. The excessive, powerful hits to Artemis’ face…

And Merlin’s irises flashed gold and he heard the satisfying sound of Odo’s neck neatly snapping.

The instant the man was dead, Merlin felt weak. He used an arm to prop himself against the tree.

Merlin felt his adrenaline rush subsiding. He shut his eyes, feeling shaky.

He shouldn’t have been able to stand and walk so easily, having been tied up for days. His magic must be keeping him from crumpling right now.

_ I’ve just committed murder _ .

He inhaled weakly, then exhaled. He made himself breathe in and out to center himself.

_ Artemis _ .

Merlin said a quick prayer before turning to face Artemis, hoping that maybe he had been knocked out somehow or at least dazed. Maybe he had missed what Merlin had just done…

He locked eyes with Artemis’, and his stomach twisted.

He had never seen such horror in Artemis’ eyes.

And it was because of him.

He approached Artemis as normally as possible. He watched as Artemis tried to wriggle and writhe away fruitlessly, his chest heaving frantically up and down.

Merlin knelt in front of him. He gently took Artemis by the wrists and pulled him upward into a sitting position.

The look in Artemis’ eyes reminded Merlin of the time he and Arthur had gotten caught out in a thunderstorm and had to calm down their horses after every crack of thunder. The wild, terrified look in those horse’s eyes then, matched Artemis’ now perfectly.

Merlin heard every shaky, fearful breath Artemis emitted. He noted the trembling throughout Artemis’ body.

He thought about what to say to Artemis first.

_ Sorry you had to see that _ .

Or

_ I’ve never done anything like that before _ .

Or

_ I was trying to think of the right time to tell you I have magic. I guess now is as good a time as any. _

Or

_ Sorry, I didn't mention it before, but I’m one of those sorcerers you admitted to me you think are all evil and scary. _

Instead, he examined the injuries on Artemis’ face.

His nose was still dripping with blood. His jaw was swollen. His right cheekbone was also swollen and turning color.

Merlin expected to feel more anger at seeing his injuries. Instead, he felt sad. He reached out to touch Artemis’ face, and his lover jerked back, fearful.

Merlin sorted through what to say to calm him. “Artemis… Let me help you, okay? I know you’re scared. But I want to heal you if you’ll allow me to.”

He rested his fingertips on Artemis’ cheekbone softly and Artemis, still wide-eyed and drawing shaky breaths, let him this time.

“He really hurt you, love.” Merlin murmured. He silently called for healing magic. His eyes flashed briefly and he saw Artemis jerk his head away again even as the magic began healing his injury.

“Shh shh shh.” Merlin hushed him quietly. “Let me.”

He felt his gentle healing magic flow from his fingertips and into Artemis’ skin as he brushed over his injuries.

He knew when the magic had healed Artemis’ nose when he stopped bleeding suddenly. Artemis blinked as his pain diminished.

Looking at his lover’s freshly healed face (he would grab a rag to clean the blood up later), he next turned to his bonds.

“I’m going to get rid of these ropes and cuffs, Artemis.” Merlin told him. “Your arms and legs will be numb and stiff for sure. I’ll massage some life into them, get the blood flowing, alright?”

Again, Merlin's eyes glowed briefly and Artemis twisted away and looked scared as his bonds fell away from his arms and wrists.

Merlin should have been expecting it, in hindsight, but he didn’t think about Artemis’ physical reaction to him once his arms were free. Artemis swung his right arm clumsily, his forearm whacking Merlin on the side of the head.

Merlin wasn’t physically hurt by the sudden blow. But he admitted to himself that it stung him emotionally. He swallowed, lightly taking Artemis’ right arm and lowering it to his lap.

Wordlessly, he took Artemis’ left arm and started rubbing some life into it, refusing to acknowledge Artemis’ sudden lash-out. He knew Artemis was just scared. He was hurt and confused by Merlin’s sudden, unintentional revelation of being a sorcerer.

Artemis had a terrible fear of magic. And the first thing he’d seen Merlin do with his was murder two people ruthlessly with a minute.

There was literally a dead body less than 10 feet behind Merlin.

Merlin bit his lip, rubbing and massaging Artemis’ arm. “When the feeling starts to come back, it will feel like hundreds of little needle pricks in your muscles and skin. That’s the nerves ‘waking up’, as it were.” Merlin spoke normally, calmly, trying to lessen Artemis’ fear. “It will feel highly unpleasant, and it may last for a while. But it’s a good thing.”

Artemis’ seemed to be searching Merlin’s face, his brown eyes flickering all over, like he was unsure how to react to all of this.

Merlin was dying to know what was going through his head right now.

He was obviously scared of Merlin. No doubt about that.

Was he planning to run off and leave Merlin the second he was able?

The thought was almost unbearable.

He finished massaging Artemis’ left arm, starting on his right. “I’ll fetch you some water after this.” He said. “You could eat the rabbit. I don’t want to stay in this area all night because of, well… you know…”

Artemis glanced nervously over at the deceased form of Odo and shuddered. He fixed his gaze into his lap.

Merlin looked at the fast-setting sun. “We could take the horses. We could untack them from the wagon, and ride them into a better area. Maybe we could sleep in a cave tonight. Sell the horses in the next town we come to tomorrow morning.”

Merlin hoped that by talking normally and planning their journey again, it would take the edge off of Artemis’ nerves. Eventually, however, Merlin would have to tell him all about his magic…

“Or keep the horses. But then we would need to buy feed for them. Horses can’t keep going on just grass, of course. What do you think? Sell the horses for the money?”

Artemis kept staring at his lap.

“Do you want to keep them for a bit?”

Artemis was as still as a statue. Merlin was pretty sure he wasn’t even blinking.

“Artemis?” Merlin said gently, cradling the side of his face with one hand.

Artemis jerked back and glared at him. He looked off to his left, jaw tensed.

Merlin tried to hide his pain at Artemis’ reaction. He stayed quiet, continuing to rub some sensation back into Artemis’ arm.

When he finished, and was about to unbind Artemis’ legs, he paused.

He was tempted for a moment to leave Artemis’ legs bound.

What if he actually was planning to run off the second he was able?

Merlin shut his eyes. It would be cruel to leave him bound like this. He knew that. No matter what Artemis’ plan was, he couldn’t just leave him tied up like a prisoner.

Merlin was better than that.

He cast out his magic again and heard the satisfying sound of the metal cuffs snapping and falling to the ground. The rope that bound Artemis’ thighs together unravelled in a heap and Merlin tossed them to the side.

He set to work massaging Artemis’ legs.

Artemis was still staring at nothing.

Merlin remained silent. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say anyway.

When he finished with Artemis’ legs, he stood. “I’m going to go fill up the waterskins. I, um, wouldn’t try walking right now. Your muscles are still going to be weak. I can help you get around when I get back. Try to eat the rabbit meat.” Merlin looked at the sky. “It’s going to be dark soon. We need to work quickly to get out of here once you can walk again.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis had never felt more ill in his life.

He watched Merlin grab their water skins and walk away, taking a few moments to look at Artemis like he was worried for him before doing so.

As Merlin walked away, Artemis immediately wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his face in his arms.

_ Merlin. _

The person he trusted more than anyone or anything else…

Was a sorcerer.

Artemis heard himself draw several rattling, shaky breaths and he felt himself trembling.

He wanted to wake up. He wanted this to all be a terrible nightmare.

Merlin  _ couldn’t  _ be a sorcerer. He just couldn’t be. Artemis would have known. He  _ never _ would have fallen in love with a sorcerer. He’d been warned about their kind for years.

Did Merlin have him under a spell? Was that why Artemis had fallen for him so quickly and easily months ago?

But Merlin loved him. He never made Artemis do anything he didn’t want to do. He was endlessly patient with Artemis. He respected him. He-

Artemis swallowed hard, raising his head slowly and reluctantly looking at the crumpled heap of the red-haired man on the other side of the fire.

He slowly turned to his right, seeing the still figure of the other captor, eyes still open, staring into nothing, half-leaning, half-slumped against a tree.

Merlin had  _ murdered  _ these men.

His eyes had flashed gold, and in one instant, he was freed from his bonds. Artemis had felt the dark-haired man get pushed roughly off of him. He saw Merlin turn his gaze to the red-haired man, ending his life with the man’s own crossbow with a wave of his hand.

Artemis would never get the sound of the dark-haired man’s bones snapping at the will of Merlin out of his head.

Artemis felt himself grow dizzy and faint. He buried his head back into his arms, not wanting to look at the corpses any longer.

And Merlin….

Merlin had just wandered over to Artemis like nothing had happened, like everything was okay… trying to  _ touch  _ Artemis and speak to him softly like he hadn’t just called on some dark magic to end two lives.

_ Those men were going to sell us _ , Artemis thought,  _ but I never thought Merlin had it in him to kill another person for any reason _ .

Artemis had thought for a moment that Merlin was going to kill him as well when he approached him. His mind went blank with fear. The next thing he knew, Merlin’s eyes were flashing with that terrible gold color and Artemis’ arms were freed. Artemis didn’t know he was going to lash out until he did, weakly hitting Merlin with his numb arm. Merlin, to his credit, did not retaliate. He was back to being the same kind, patient man Artemis had always known.

The magic was going to corrupt him, just like every other magic user ever. Artemis felt tears form in his eyes. Maybe he could convince Merlin to stop using it, if it wasn’t already too late.

Artemis had been told from the time he was a child that when one learns to call upon the dark forces, the dark magic feeds upon their souls, slowly corrupting them until they aren’t even themselves anymore. He’d been warned to never try magic himself for  _ any  _ reason. Even the best intentions forged a pathway for the dark forces to take over the magic user. He’d been especially warned to never _ , ever _ trust a sorcerer. Not even once.

And now, his Merlin…

Artemis felt tears fall from his eyes.

His Merlin was one of those sorcerers. He was being slowly corrupted by magic and he probably didn’t even know it.

_ Should I try to escape? _

_ Would he try to follow me? _

_ Would he be angry if he caught me? _

_ Would he… kill me? _

Artemis felt his stomach convulse as his crying increased. He felt his nose start to drip and he wiped away the snot with the back of his hands.

He’d trusted Merlin with everything. He had wanted to forge a new life with him. He’d fantasized about building a cabin with him, growing their own garden, waking up every morning next to him…

And now… he couldn’t bring himself to picture sharing a life with Merlin anymore.

But what else could he do?

If he left Merlin’s side, what would he do? Where would he go?

Artemis was trapped. He was trapped by a sorcerer he had previously wanted to be with more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life.

******************************************************************************

Artemis awoke to his shoulder being gently shaken. He heard the soft voice of Merlin say, “Hey. Wake up. I brought some water back for you.”

Artemis didn’t know when he had fallen asleep. He tiredly lifted his head and accepted the waterskin, opening the top and drinking from it.

Merlin was peering into his face with some concern. “You’ve been crying.” He stated.

_ Because I discovered what you are. _

Merlin looked at the plate with the now-cold rabbit meat on it. “You didn’t eat.” He looked back at Artemis. “You need to eat, Artemis.”

Artemis glared at him again, then regretted it when he saw Merlin looking hurt. Merlin was only expressing his worry.

Besides, Artemis  _ was _ starving.

He reached out for the rabbit meat, taking a small bite, not looking at Merlin.

He heard Merlin swear under his breath as he stood up. “Gods, why didn’t I move him before I left?”

Artemis looked up and saw Merlin beginning to drag the body of the red-haired man away from the campfire, towards the body of the dark-haired man. He really seemed to be struggling with it.

_ Should I help him? _ Artemis thought briefly before discarding that thought. There was no way he’d ever be able to touch a dead body.

_ Why isn’t he just using magic? _ Artemis wondered as he watched Merlin huff and puff, dragging the body inch by inch.

Merlin finally got the body where he wanted it, then stood back like he was thinking, ‘ _ what now? _ ’

Artemis chewed on the rabbit meat as he observed Merlin going to the front of the wagon, then to the back, coming back to Artemis empty-handed.

“I kind of wanted to cover the bodies.” He said, sounding ashamed. “Don’t really want to see them anymore. Couldn’t find any blankets though...”

Artemis ignored him.

Merlin drew in a deep breath before speaking in a rush. “I should have told you I was a sorcerer. I should have told you from the time we began our relationship. But I was scared. It’s not that I thought you would have ratted me out to the king or anything. I just didn’t know how you would react. And then we got more serious, and then we ran away together, and then I discovered how you feel about sorcery and magic and,” Merlin held out his hands in front of him in a helpless gesture. “I- I didn’t want you to be scared of me.”

He looked back at the bodies and shuddered. “And now… I’ve done this.” He hung his head low. “Please don’t think I’ve ever hurt anyone with my magic like this before. I just- He was hitting you and you looked at me and I just couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t have lived with myself if I had kept my magic under control and let him hurt you. And then what if later on, after we escaped another way, you found out about my magic? You would have hated me for not saving you from him then.”

Artemis mulled over Merlin’s words.

He understood why Merlin had lashed out. He didn’t like the way Merlin had said ‘couldn’t stop myself’ and ‘kept my magic under control’.

_ So he can lose control? What if I make him mad one day and he ‘loses control’ and ‘can’t stop himself’?  _ Artemis wondered. The thought turned his stomach.

Merlin knelt in front of Artemis. “I was born like this. I was.” He insisted when Artemis gave him a disbelieving look. “Some people learn magic from books. I’ve been able to cast magic from the time I was just a baby. Some people are just born with the natural gift of magic.”

_ So magic has been corrupting you from birth? _

Merlin got into a more comfortable position. “I know you’ve been told awful things about magic and sorcerers, but I  _ promise  _ you, it’s not all true. Yes, some people use magic to hurt others, and cast wicked enchantments. But others, like me, use it to protect and heal and benefit others.”

Artemis’ gaze went back over to the dead bodies 30 feet away from them.

Merlin saw where he was looking and he sighed. “I couldn’t let him get away with doing that to you.” He said again. “Do you understand that those men were evil and I needed to protect you from them? I was planning on us escaping tonight, without any casualties, no one getting hurt, until he went after you like that. My first intention is never to harm anyone. I just can’t stand seeing you get hurt.”

Merlin took the cap off of his own waterskin and poured some water onto the bottom of his shirt. “Let me clean around your nose. I know you’ve been crying, but you still have some blood on your face.”

Artemis let him wipe away the blood without much protest.

“Can you walk? Let me help you up.” Merlin stood and Artemis sighed before raising up his arms and letting Merlin pull him up.

He nearly collapsed again if Merlin hadn’t been holding him up. “There, there.” Merlin murmured to him. “You’re still weak. But you need to get some blood circulating. Let me help you along.”

As Artemis allowed Merlin to guide him towards the wagon, mostly dragging him, he felt like there were thousands of needles poking deep into his skin and muscles with every attempted step. Merlin had been right. Artemis had had his limbs fall asleep before, but this was much worse.

He gritted his teeth and Merlin guided him to the front of the wagon.

“I was thinking and planning as I walked back from the stream.” Merlin said, helping Artemis lean against the wagon. “I was thinking maybe we don’t untack the horses just yet. We drive the wagon to a safer location. You can sit with me in the front. You could sleep. I’ll guide the horses to a safe place until morning. By then you should be able to ride a horse with no problem.”

Artemis tried to think properly through the stabbing pains in his legs.

**_If_ ** he was planning on leaving Merlin, now was not the best time. He was still very hungry, very weak, and he needed an actual plan.

He ended up nodding. He could plan when he had more food in his belly and a good night’s sleep. For now, he needed to appear cooperative and easy. He didn’t want to accidentally anger Merlin.

Merlin assisted him by pushing him up into the seat and helped him sit up.

Artemis nearly drifted off to sleep as Merlin went around making sure everything was ready and secure. He woke up when Merlin climbed up next to him and flicked the reins for the horses to start moving.

The sound of the horse’s hooves… the steady turn and rattle of the wheels… Artemis felt his eyes drift shut again. He forgot himself and naturally leaned into Merlin until he remembered himself and jerked upright again.

He  _ wanted  _ to lean against Merlin. He  _ wanted  _ to press against his warm, soft body and fall asleep, feeling safe and secure like he had every other night they had spent together.

But everything was different now, which saddened Artemis. Merlin was not who Artemis thought he was…

******************************************************************************

Artemis awoke on his side in the wagon seat. Merlin was gently shaking him awake.

“I found a small cave for us, love.” He said quietly. “I’ve already untacked the horses and tied them to a tree. I’ve laid out our pallets for us in the cave. Come on.”

He helped Artemis out of the wagon seat and into the cave. Artemis collapsed onto a pallet the second he was able.

Merlin set up his own pallet a respectable distance away, while still being fairly close by.

Artemis was still too tired to think more about Merlin’s revelation. He felt pretty sure he would be safe until morning, at least. Merlin seemed to be rather even-tempered right now. Artemis doubted Merlin would do anything to him while he slept.

He heard Merlin shuffling around, getting comfortable on his own pallet. Then there was silence for a long time.

“I can’t sleep.”

Artemis opened his eyes.

“I’m exhausted, but I can’t fall asleep.” Merlin swallowed. “I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”

Artemis held his breath.

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you so much more than you could ever comprehend.” Merlin’s voice grew shaky with emotion. “I couldn’t stand it if you left. I have no idea what I would do. I don’t think I could ever love someone else like I love you.”

He heard Merlin shuffle closer. “I don’t know what I would do with myself if you weren’t with me anymore. I couldn’t go back to Ealdor. Couldn’t go back to Camelot. And I don’t want to start a new life without you.”

Artemis stiffened without thinking as Merlin started petting his hair. “Promise me?” He heard Merlin request softly. “Promise me that when I wake up, you’ll still be here?”

Artemis found himself slowly nodding.

“Thank you.” Merlin said. “I know you’re scared of magic. But give me time. I’ll show you all the great and wonderful things I can do. I swear, on my life, I’ll use my magic to protect you for as long as I live.”

_ But the magic will change you eventually _ , Artemis thought sadly.  _ You’ll be a completely different person when it does. If I stay… you’ll end up hurting me just like everyone else has. _

The thought of the magic slowly eating away at Merlin almost broke him. He stiffened his jaw, refusing to cry. It would take away everything that made Merlin the good, kind-hearted person he was. He proved that it was already happening when he admitted to losing control and killing those men.

“Good night, my sweet love.” Merlin said, giving the back of Artemis’ head a gentle kiss. “Give me a chance. I’ll prove myself to you.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin awoke to a chorus of loud, annoying birds incessantly chirping. He rolled over onto his stomach, groaning at the feeling of his sore back.

He gradually opened his eyes to look at Artemis.

Artemis’ pallet was empty.

Merlin rolled over again and sat up. “Artemis?” He called, frantic.

He saw Artemis appear at the mouth of the cave.

“Oh.” Merlin said, feeling relieved. “I just saw you were gone and I got worried. Sorry.”

Artemis actually looked a bit sheepish as he entered the cave. Merlin noticed he was tying up his breeches.

“You were just relieving yourself?” He asked. Artemis nodded. “Oh. Sorry again.”

Merlin stretched. His stomach growled. He cleared his throat as Artemis gave him a look of concern. “I’ve been filling up on water. I’ll get food in the next town we come to.”

He didn’t want to admit that he was ready to faint from hunger. Artemis had been the one hungry enough to risk it all and steal some rabbit from their previous captors. So Merlin gave him the other rabbit. Merlin had somewhat lost his appetite after he killed the men anyway….

Artemis twisted his mouth like he didn’t quite believe that, but then he started gathering their bags and taking them out to the wagon.

Merlin stood up and followed him out.

Artemis had been busy. Merlin had thought that he had only just gotten up to pee or something, but he had clearly been at work for a while.

The bags of previous owners of the wagon were secured to the horses already. The horses were eating some hay in a pile in front of them. Merlin assumed Artemis must have found their feed in the wagon somewhere with the rest of their stuff.

Artemis looked over at Merlin and tossed a glass vial towards him. Merlin caught it, and looked it over.

He popped open the top and smelled. It barely had a scent. It was clear. Merlin knew what it was. “This is the stuff they used to drug us with, isn’t it?” He said to Artemis.

Artemis looked over at him before continuing to get the horses ready.

Merlin looked at how much was in it. Nearly half was left. He remembered one of the men mentioning a ‘measurer’ for it that he couldn’t find. Clearly, this stuff was lethal in higher doses, judging by the way they were wondering if Artemis might die from his excessive dose.

Merlin went ahead and shoved it in his bag. He wanted to see if he could find someone who might know what all was in it. There was some kind of ingredient in it that had been able to suppress his magic for quite some time. He was curious to find out what it was.

“Did you find any food?” Merlin asked Artemis. Artemis shook his head. “Pity.” Merlin sighed. “I hope we are close to a town. If we come across a river, I could catch some fish, maybe.”

Artemis was ignoring him.

“I- used magic to catch the fish on our first day out.” Merlin said. “Just kind of spotted one and would use magic to sling it to shore. Technically cheating, but, you know…”

Artemis paused for a few seconds, like he was processing that information. Then he went on with gathering more things.

“Do you want to sell the horses when we get to a town?”

Artemis nodded. 

“Probably get a fair amount for them.”

Artemis sighed like Merlin was pissing him off.

“I’ll stop talking now.” Merlin muttered.

They double and triple-checked that they had everything. Merlin didn’t check what was in the bags Artemis had taken from the men’s stash. He would when they got to an inn.

Artemis climbed onto the black horse and Merlin climbed onto the gray one. There were no saddles, unfortunately. Merlin expected to be fairly sore by the time they reached a stopping point.

He rode a bit behind Artemis, feeling like it would be more respectful. Artemis was still incredibly cold to him. But at least he was sticking around.

******************************************************************************

They had only been riding for a couple of hours when Merlin felt his magic humming powerfully under his skin. He pulled back on the reins.

Artemis heard him stop and he did the same, looking back at him.

Merlin felt a strange pulling sensation in his chest. He felt it tugging him more or less in a certain direction.

When he had discovered the scrying gemstone in the woods, there had been a similar feeling. But this was much more powerful. While the crystal had merely attracted his magic, this was an urgent feeling. He was being called to something. He wasn’t even sure if he could say no.

“Artemis.” He said. “Slight change of direction. Follow me.”

He flicked the reins and the horse started moving, this time more towards the east. He heard Artemis’ horse clomping along behind him.

The closer he got to wherever he was being drawn, the more his magic thrummed inside of him. He felt his heart start to race with some strange excitement. He fought the urge to speed his horse up.

He knew when they had arrived where they were supposed to be. But it puzzled him. All there was here was a tall cliff face, and dozens of mossy stones at the base of the cliff.

He slid off the horse, and heard Artemis do the same, standing a good ways away. Merlin put his hands on his hips, observing the area.

He was supposed to be here. He knew he was in the right place. His magic was humming incessantly under his skin, coursing through his core. This was it.

But what now?

Merlin approached the cliff and started looking around. Was there an artifact here? Or another kind of gemstone his magic wanted him to find?

Merlin looked at Artemis, who seemed completely lost as to what they were doing here.

“This place is important.” He told Artemis. Even he didn’t sound convinced of his own words. “I know we need to be here. I just… can’t figure out why…”

Artemis sat down on a rock after tying the horses to a tree and looked bored.

Merlin walked a little to his left, still directly in front of the cliff. He started looking down at the ground, hoping to see anything, like maybe a rune.

He instead found an extremely narrow stone stairwell, leading down into the dark underground. This was it. That was what he needed to find.

“Artemis, come here, please.” Merlin called over to him. “I found something.”

Artemis got up and walked over to him, still keeping a bit of distance between them.

“We need to go down here.”

Artemis stiffened with distrust and looked him up and down.

“I could go down by myself…” Merlin backpedaled, “but I’d rather have you with me. I know I need to go down here.” His magic was getting impatient, wanting him to hurry up and go down the stairwell to whatever was awaiting him.

Artemis chewed his lip, looking back at the horses. He took a small step towards Merlin, then another.

“Thank you, Artemis.” Merlin took a few steps down.

The stairwell was wet, and Merlin warned Artemis to please watch his step as they went down. It smelled pleasantly of moss.

Too quickly, it got too dark to see, and Merlin turned back to look at the figure of Artemis behind him. “I can’t see anything up ahead. I’m going to use a bit of magic, ok? It’s harmless.” He added quickly. “Just an illumination spell.”

Merlin whispered a spell into his palm and a bright blue light lit up. Merlin willed it to grow bigger and it did.

He glanced back at Artemis, who looked wary of the blue light. “Don’t be scared. It can’t do anything but light the way.”

Merlin kept walking carefully down the stairs.

He was relieved when the stairs stopped and there was a long stone corridor leading forward. He felt his pulse quicken in anticipation.

He heard a soft, humming sound at the end of the corridor. There was a large, natural doorway leading into an enormous cavern. He heard the sound of a small waterfall somewhere ahead.

Merlin sped up, entering the cavern.

He noticed two things at once. One, it was surprisingly cold down here. Two, there were crystals  _ everywhere _ .

Merlin kept turning circles, in awe of them all, trying to take them all in. It was clear that it was the crystals making the humming sound. It was a beautiful, musical sound that Merlin could have listened to all day. They also seemed to emit their own light. Merlin extinguished his own light when he realized it was no longer necessary. 

He knelt in front of a large, bluish-white crystal growing out of the ground. His reflection was clear in it. “What did you call me here for?” Merlin whispered. He should have felt silly talking to a crystal, but he felt certain that it was alive and could hear him.

_ ‘- cold, but it’s so pretty.’ _

Merlin shut his eyes at the sudden voice in his head. It definitely was not his own. This voice felt like it was being forced into his mind in a very unpleasant manner.

_ ‘How did he know about this place?’ _

Merlin shook his head. Whose voice was that? It was pleasant, slightly deeper than Merlin’s.

_ ‘So cold. Maybe I should have stayed with the horses.’ _

Merlin felt a jolt of realization as he looked at Artemis, who wasn’t looking at him, but rather wandering around the cavern by himself, looking at everything. His arms were embracing himself, rubbing up and down to stay warm.

“Artemis?” Merlin called to him.

Artemis looked back at him.

_ ‘What?’ _

Merlin heard the voice clearly inside of his head.

Was he hearing-?

**_How_ ** was he hearing-?

Merlin felt a weird mixture of excitement and apprehension. “Could you think of a color for me?”

Artemis angled his head like Merlin was off his rocker.

_ ‘Why would he want that? Uhh blue? I guess?’ _

“Blue?” Merlin said. Artemis blinked at him in surprise. “That's what you thought, yeah? First you wondered why I asked, then you thought blue.”

Artemis looked unsettled.

“Can you hear what I’m thinking?”  _ I love you _ .

Artemis waited and then shook his head.

“Huh.” Merlin said. “I guess it’s not two ways. Artemis, I think there is a magic about this place. Actually, I know that for a fact.”

Artemis glanced around nervously.

“I think.” Merlin licked his lips before continuing. “I think this is a blessing of the cavern. Maybe… Maybe I was drawn here so we could finally talk.” Then he grinned. “Artemis, this is amazing! We can have a full conversation in here with no barriers.” Merlin sat on the cold floor and patted the area in front of him. “Sit with me.”

Artemis walked over to him tentatively. He sat a few feet from Merlin.  _ ‘This feels weird.’ _

“I know. It feels like your voice is being pushed into my skull.”

_ ‘I don’t know how I feel about you being able to hear my thoughts.’  _ Artemis bit his lip.  _ ‘Feels a bit intrusive.’ _

“I think I can understand that.” Merlin said. He was so excited to be able to hear Artemis that he didn’t think about how Artemis might feel imposed upon.

_ ‘So…’ _

“So…” There was a brief silence. “You have a very nice voice.” It was deeper than Merlin had expected. But it suited him.

Artemis smiled a little.  _ ‘Thanks.’ _

“Let’s talk about it then.” Merlin crossed his legs. “About my magic.”

Artemis frowned at hearing that.  _ ‘Okay.’ _

“I want to know everything you’re thinking. Every opinion you have about sorcery. Every thought you have about me being a sorcerer. Everything.”

Artemis sighed.  _ ‘I don’t like magic.’ _

“Why?”

_ ‘I’ve heard what it does to people who use it.’ _

“What does it do to them?”

_ ‘It… eats away at their souls.’  _ Artemis blinked sadly at the ground.  _ ‘When they use it, even the first time, it gets a grip on them and starts consuming and corrupting them. It makes them want to use more and more, darker and darker magic until it’s fully consumed them and there is nothing left of who they used to be. It makes them do terrible things. And hurt people.’  _ Artemis folded his hands in his lap and couldn’t look at Merlin.

Merlin was shocked that Artemis had been told things like that. If Merlin had been told that from the time he was a child, he’d be scared spitless of sorcerers too.

“You think… my magic is eating away at me?”

_ ‘Yes.’  _ Artemis confessed.

“That I’m going to become wicked because of it?”

_ ‘Yes.’ _ Artemis sounded ashamed to admit it.

“Do you think I’m wicked now?” Merlin asked quietly.

_ ‘No!’  _ Artemis looked up at him sharply.  _ ‘I mean… you killed two people when you got too angry… but I don’t think you’re completely consumed yet.’ _

“And how long do you think it will take to fully take me over?”

_ ‘Ummm… I don’t know…’ _

“Because I told you I didn’t learn it from books. I was born with it. I’ve used it my entire life. Nearly daily, for various things.” Merlin tilted his head. “But you don’t believe I’m a wicked person. So how long will it take for my magic to consume my soul?”

Artemis blinked rapidly like he was trying to think of an answer.

“What I think is, sometimes bad people use magic to do bad things. But then others use it for good, to help people. But you don’t hear the stories of the good things very often. You hear about the curses, and the enchantments and the sorcerers causing pain and destruction. You don’t hear a lot about the kind sorceress healing a child’s broken bone, or mixing up a potion to heal a dying man. People like to talk about the bad. And those who do good deeds don’t often go around bragging about it.”

_ ‘But… you got angry. And you lashed out and killed people. What if you do it again?’ _

“I’ve been angry before. Lots of times. At multiple people. At the sight of injustices happening in front of me. I’ve never lost control of my magic because of it. I ‘lashed out’ with my magic yesterday because I couldn’t stand to see him doing that to you. I knew I could do something to stop him, so I did. Like I said before, how would you have felt if I stood by and let him attack you like that, and then later on you found out I could have stopped him from doing it? Wouldn’t you have been upset with me?”

Artemis was quiet for a minute. ‘ _ Yes… I would have been upset.’ _ He admitted.

“I was also scared that-” Merlin felt his throat tighten. “He wasn’t letting up. Part of me was scared that he might have killed you… or at the least done some irreparable damage. The thought of either of those things made me realize I had to stop him.”

_ ‘What if I make you angry one day? What if you lose your temper at me?’ _

“Artemis, nothing in this world, plain or magical, could make me hurt you in any way. I swear to you, it’s simply not true that all magic corrupts the user. Or ‘consumes’ them.”

Artemis picked at the hem of his shirt.

“Were you planning on running away from me?” Merlin asked quietly, not sure if he wanted the answer.

Artemis drew in a shaky breath.  _ ‘Yes. I think so.’ _

“Because you are scared of me now?”

_ ‘Yes. Because I know what magic can do to people. And I don’t mean the ‘taking over’ thing,’  _ Artemis added hastily.  _ ‘I mean, sorcerers can make people do things they normally wouldn’t. They can call down curses, and fire, and harm people without even touching them. That’s terrifying to me.’ _

“Is it the actual magic you’re afraid of? Or the people who use it?” Merlin asked. “Because if it’s false that magic corrupts people, which I assure you is the case, then it’s the fault of the person using it if they decide to hurt someone with it. Magic itself is a very neutral thing. It can heal, or it can destroy. I, like many others who possess or learned magic, choose to use it to protect people, and heal them. Like I healed and protected you.”

Merlin reached out and touched Artemis’ face, and Artemis let him. “I healed your wounds yesterday, remember?”

_ ‘I know.’  _ Artemis shifted.  _ ‘Sorry I hit you, by the way.’ _

Merlin smiled a little. “It’s okay. I know you were just scared.”

Artemis smiled back at him shyly.  _ ‘I believe you are a good man, Merlin.’ _ Hearing his name uttered by Artemis for the first time made Merlin’s heart skip a beat.  _ ‘But I need time. I need time to regain my trust in you. I need time to adjust to this new part of you.’ _

“I understand. But also,  _ this  _ has always been a part of me. Just… give me a chance. Let me show you that magic can be a force for good. Promise me that you won’t leave me? And I will promise you that I will always love and protect you with every part of who I am.”

Artemis was silent for a few seconds.  _ ‘I don’t think I ever could have actually left you… At least… I’m not sure. I was thinking about that a lot yesterday and today. About what I would do without you. You’ve only been a part of my life since early spring, but I can’t imagine not having you by my side. Especially after you left everything in Camelot behind so suddenly just to be with me. And you’ve always been so good and kind to me. Nobody has ever treated me so well. And I kept thinking about that, and wondering what I was going to do if I ever left you. I was nervous, thinking that if I stayed, would you turn on me one day?’ _

“No, Artemis.” Merlin interrupted him. He used a thumb to pet Artemis’ cheekbone. “Nothing in this world could ever make me harm you. Ever.”

Artemis reached up and gently removed Merlin’s hand from his face, squeezing it lightly.  _ ‘I think maybe deep down, I knew that. I couldn’t imagine you actually hurting me. Not the real you. You’ve always treated me with endless patience and kindness. And I’ve always been grateful for how well you’ve treated me. I never thought anyone would ever love me like you do.’ _

“I’d really love to kiss you right now.” Merlin said, without even thinking. “May I?”

_ ‘Of course.’  _ Artemis agreed readily with a small smile.

Merlin leaned in and kissed him. Artemis put his hand behind Merlin’s head, drawing him in closer.

He felt like it had been years since he’d kissed Artemis. He’d been worried that he might never get to ever again. So Merlin made every second of it count.

He didn’t know when it had happened, but Merlin found himself on his back, Artemis hovering over him, hands on either side of Merlin, kissing him with a kind of wild abandon Merlin had rarely seen before from him.

_ ‘You love me?’ _

“Yes.” Merlin pulled away to say before quickly receiving another kiss.

_ ‘Forever?’ _ Artemis moved to kissing Merlin’s throat and neck.

“Always, my love.” Merlin lifted his chin to give Artemis easier access.

Artemis gave his neck one last peck before laying down beside him, throwing a leg over his hips and an arm over his chest.  _ ‘Can we talk about something else besides magic?’ _

“Sure.”

_ ‘Does it ever frustrate you that I’m mute?’ _

“... No.” Merlin said, confused. “Why would it?”

_ ‘Like, you’re never frustrated when you don’t understand what I’m trying to say?’ _

“Oh, well, maybe. Sure. But that happens anytime there is a communication barrier with anyone.”

_ ‘Do you think you’ll still be able to hear my thoughts when we leave here?’ _

“I don’t think I will, no.” Merlin said sadly. “I think that’s just something this place blessed us with while we are here.”

_ ‘Oh.’  _ Artemis picked at Merlin’s scarf.  _ ‘That makes me a little sad, but I guess I wouldn’t like it if you could  _ always  _ hear what I was thinking.’ _

“Yeah.”

_ ‘How did you know about this place?’ _

“I didn’t. I felt… drawn to it. Like something was pulling me to it and I needed to listen.”

_ ‘Wow…’ _ Artemis kept playing with the scarf.  _ ‘Do you think the prince is actually after us?’ _

“I honestly don’t know.” Merlin absently stroked Artemis’ arm. “I hope not. I hope he will just leave us be.”

_ ‘I’m scared of running into him again.”  _ Artemis stopped stroking his scarf.  _ ‘I keep thinking that he’ll find us one day… and what he might do.’ _

“He won’t do a single thing to us.” Merlin said fiercely. “I will make sure of that.”

******************************************************************************

_ That bloody physician snuck me a sedative, _ Arthur thought, way too late as the physician hovered over him, taking out his ruined stitches.

Arthur kept trying to keep his eyes open as he laid back on his bed. He was vaguely aware of his father standing right beside him.

He never should have trusted the soup that serving girl brought up to him. He couldn’t move a single muscle. Thankfully, he also couldn’t feel Gaius carefully pulling out his stitches either.

If he was being honest with himself, he could  _ sort of _ understand why he had been sedated. He  _ had _ thrown a violent fit after his father ordered him confined to his room. He had been held back by two guards when he tried to charge the king, which should have landed him in the dungeons, but instead he was dragged unceremoniously to his chambers and left all alone.

He’d thrown a plate and his cup at one of the knights who came to check in on him. And then came the serving girl with his soup, accompanied by two guards for her own safety as she delivered his food.

He had felt drowsy, then loose-limbed as he fell onto his bed. It was only after he saw his father and Gaius cautiously enter his room, looking deadly serious, with the king murmuring to Gaius if he ‘thought it had kicked in yet’ that Arthur realized why he had suddenly felt so exhausted and barely able to keep his eyes open. He assumed they were scared he might attack Gaius as well.

They weren’t wrong to worry about that.

He saw Gaius reach for a tiny blade. He felt a bit of pressure around his lip, but nothing else. Gaius grabbed a cloth and started applying pressure on the incision he’d just made.

“What’s wrong with him, Gaius?” Arthur heard his father say.

“His wound got infected from when he was out riding in the rain. I’m just getting out the infection.”

_ Little beast that bit me is probably venomous. _

“I meant, what’s  _ wrong  _ with him? Why would he run off like that? The knights that found him reported that he resisted arrest and tried to attack them.”

“I’m uncertain, Sire. Perhaps once he is rested, you can ask for some answers.”

“I’ve never seen him this… unhinged.”

“He seems to be trying to fight off the sedative as well. I already gave him an extra half-dose than I normally give patients. I’m wary about giving him any more.”

_Father would never understand why I_ had _to_ _leave. I doubt he even knows my Merlin ran off._

“How long will the sedative last?”

“Normally, I’d say 4-6 hours.” Gaius replied. Arthur saw him reach for the needle and thread. “But with the way he’s managed to resist it thus far, I can’t be too certain.”

“When will it be safe to give him another small dose?”

“I would feel alright giving him another half-dose in a couple of hours if he keeps fighting it off like this.”

Arthur felt his eyes drift shut and he managed to open them again. Gaius was silently and expertly restitching his wound. His eyes felt heavy again and they shut on their own accord.

Arthur practically forced them open again, seeing Gaius packing up his medicine bag.

_ I must have actually fallen asleep for a moment. _

“I’ll check on him again in a couple of hours.”

“Take some guards with you when you do. And I want a report on his status.”

“I will do that, Sire.”

Arthur felt his head loll off to one side and he was back asleep within seconds.


	25. Chapter 25

Merlin and Artemis spent a lot of time in the cavern, talking about everything they could possibly think of.

_ ‘I’ve been having dreams about my father.’ _

“I thought you had never met your father.”

_ ‘I have no memory of him, but these dreams I’ve been having… They are incredibly real. It feels like I’ve been given a glimpse into my own past. I’ve seen my father play with me as a baby and as a very young child. I’ve seen him and my mother taking care of me.’  _ Artemis sounded melancholy.

Merlin put his arm around Artemis’ shoulders. “Tell me more about what you dreamt.”

_ ‘The last dream I had was when we were in the wagon, while I was sleeping off the stuff those men gave us. My father was carrying me around on his shoulders. I looked maybe three? Definitely not much older than that. He carried me to a stream and we threw little stones into the water.’ _

“That sounds like a good dream.”

_ ‘It was. It makes me feel at peace when I dream of my mother and father. I just wish I knew what had happened to him…’ _

“Did he look like you?” Merlin asked.

Artemis smiled and sniffed a little laugh.  _ ‘No. He looks as tall as a mountain. And built like he could wrestle a bear. We have the same hair, though. I think. But I have my mother’s eyes.’ _

“Do you want to know what happened to him?”

Artemis shifted.  _ ‘Maybe? I’m not sure. My mother, the entire time I knew her, from the time I could remember, seemed sad and withdrawn. I’m not sure if it had something to do with him. She had her moments of happiness, every once in a while. Mostly, she was just sad.’ _

“How did she pass? How old were you?”

_ ‘I wasn’t quite eleven. She died from a sickness that came through our village. We both got sick, but I recovered quickly and she… she didn’t.’ _

Merlin pressed a kiss into Artemis’ hair. Artemis leaned in closer to him.  _ ‘I didn’t have anyone left. I took care of myself as best I could. Sometimes people would give me food from their own supply. Mostly I had to learn to trap my own food and cook it. At least I got to stay in the house. So I had shelter.’ _

“Why did no one help you? You were still so young.” Merlin could scarcely believe an entire village leaving a young orphan to fend for himself.

_ ‘They didn’t care about me, Merlin.’  _ Artemis said, sounding downcast. He stared at his hands clasped in his lap.  _ “They spoke about me like I was just a dumb animal. A burden they didn’t want to deal with. Practically no one even used my name, thought most knew it.’ _

Merlin sat for a moment trying to fathom that. Then Artemis spoke again.  _ ‘The fact that no one cared what happened to me meant that when those men… When I attracted their attention… I knew no one would care what they were doing to me. Sometimes I wonder if some people knew.’ _

Merlin wrapped his arms around Artemis tightly. “I’m really sorry that you grew up surrounded by people like that. I’m so glad that you got out of that village, and that we met. No one deserves to be treated like you were.”

Artemis didn’t reply to that, just let Merlin hold him close for a few moments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ ‘Do you really like brown eyes?’ _

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I?”

_ ‘And it doesn’t bother you that I’m short?’ _

“You’re not that short. And why would it ‘bother me’? I think you’re perfect.”

_ ‘You mentioned a friend named Will that you grew up with. Were you two together?’ _

“No. Always just friends.”

_ ‘How many people have you been with besides me?’ _

“Uhhhhh….” Merlin found that one hard to answer. “Quite a… few.”

_ ‘How many people have you gone all the way with?’ _

“All the way? Maybe… six?”

Artemis watched him intently.  _ ‘And, how many not ‘ _ all the way’ _?’ _

Merlin felt a bit hot under the collar. “A few. I’m not sure.”

Artemis twisted his mouth like he was mulling that over.

“I’ve been exclusively just with you for a long time, Artemis. What does it matter?”

_ ‘How long is a long time?’ _

“Since our first kiss.”

Artemis smiled at that.  _ ‘Why did you stop seeing other people after that?’ _

“Because when I kissed you, it felt differently than anyone else I’ve ever kissed. It was like lightning went through my entire body. And after that, I didn’t feel right doing anything with anyone else. Just you.”

_ ‘That’s really sweet.’ _

“And you? Have you ever been in a relationship with anyone besides me?” Merlin asked delicately.

_ ‘No. I had a crush a couple of years ago or so. Never did anything about it. I felt… wrong about it.’  _ Artemis flushed red when he said that.

“And did you ever feel wrong about being with me?”

_ ‘A little at first.’  _ Artemis confessed.  _ ‘But you were so friendly and nice to me that I couldn’t help but want to be with you. And I never thought it would feel good being with another man since…’  _ Artemis trailed off for a second.  _ ‘But you were so patient about that part and I trusted you.’ _

“You’ve always enjoyed being with me, right? Like, I’ve never made you feel uncomfortable or pushed you?”

_ ‘No. It’s always felt amazing.’  _ Artemis smirked at him and it was Merlin’s turn to flush red.

_ ‘And… I was thinking, on the trip over here, when I wasn’t sure if I should stick around you or not… I was pondering how things would have been different if you never pursued me, or even tried to be my friend…’ _

“How do you mean?”

_ ‘Everything that happened with… the prince. If you hadn’t been there for me, what would I have even done afterwards? I wouldn’t have had anyone to be there for me.’ _

Merlin thought about what the dragon had said, about Arthur only pursuing Artemis and doing what he did because he saw Merlin and Artemis together. But he didn’t want to bring that up. “I’m not sure.”

_ ‘Me either. But I’m glad you were there.”  _ Artemis fiddled with some pebbles on the ground. He looked like he had something else he wanted to say.

“If you have something else you wanted to ask, feel free. I am an open book.”

_ ‘Nothing to ask. It’s just…’  _ Artemis took a deep breath.  _ ‘In my note, I said the prince tricked me into meeting him.’ _

“Yeah?”

_ ‘It wasn’t really the prince.’ _

“I don’t understand.”

_ ‘I mean… The prince himself didn’t trick me into the room. He was just waiting for me.’ _

“He sent a servant to fetch you?”

_ ‘Yes. He sent Robin to get me.’ _

“Robin?” Merlin knew Robin had taken over his previous position of Arthur’s personal servant. “He told Robin to send you to the room?”

_ ‘Robin stopped by and told me he wanted to talk to me privately.’  _ Artemis stiffened his lower lip.  _ ‘So I followed him into a room, and the prince was there… And Robin shut the door and guarded it so I couldn’t get away.’ _

“He did what?” Merlin nearly shouted before composing himself. “He  **_knew_ ** what Arthur was going to do to you and he was going to let it happen?”

_ ‘The prince was the person Robin was trying to leave. The person that he said was hurting him but he was in love with.’ _

“ **_WHAT?_ ** ” Hearing that was quite a double whammy. Merlin held up his hands like he was trying to stop Artemis from telling him anything else until he sorted through everything. “The man, that caused all those welts and cuts and such on Robin. The man Robin was crying over and said he wanted to leave but couldn’t. The one Robin said he met with every night. Was Prince Arthur?”

Artemis nodded solemnly.

“By all the gods… what the hell?” Merlin said without any emotion. He rubbed his eyes with his fingertips like it would help him process that. “So that’s why he helped Arthur lure you to the room? And was literally willing to stand guard and watch him do that to you?”

Artemis nodded again, awkwardly messing with the pebbles at his feet.

“How did you find out that it was Arthur Robin was with?”

_ ‘I caught the two of them.’  _ Artemis curled his upper lip.  _ ‘I walked into the physicians study while Robin was still recovering. And I saw Prince Arthur… kissing Robin. And they were talking afterwards about meeting again. The prince looked pleased with what he had done to Robin. They didn’t even see me at all until Prince Arthur went to leave.’  _ Artemis halfheartedly tossed a pebble a short distance away.  _ ‘Prince Arthur threatened me if I tried to tell you. Robin came to our room to apologize for what the prince had said to me.’ _

“How the hell could he just agree to let Arthur hurt you?” Merlin tried to control his volume with little success. “It’s one thing to meet with someone and let them do those things to you, but then to agree to help that person hurt another person? What’s wrong with him?”

_ ‘Who knows.’  _ Artemis said dryly.  _ ‘To his credit, when I attacked the prince, he stood out of my way and let me escape.’ _

“That’s something at least.” Merlin exhaled loudly. “I wonder how their ‘relationship’ even started. I wonder why Arthur never tried anything with me. Obviously, I would never have done anything with him. But I was always  _ right there _ , by his side, doing every chore under the sun that he could think of. But he never attempted anything with me…”

Artemis shrugged.  _ ‘I want to talk about something else. I don’t want to think about either of them anymore.’ _

“That’s fine.” Merlin was a bit sick thinking about them as well.

_ ‘Can you do me a favor?’ _

“What is it?”

Artemis squirmed.  _ ‘Your eyes. When you do magic. It scares me.’ _

“I can’t… do anything to stop that, Artemis. I’m sorry.”

_ ‘Well, if you can, can you warn me before doing any magic so I can look away?’ _

“Yeah sure.” Merlin readily agreed. He somewhat understood Artemis’ trepidation about seeing that.

_ ‘And can you promise me, if you can, that you won’t use magic to harm anyone? I understand why you had to with those two men,’  _ Artemis added quickly.  _ ‘But if there’s any other options, any at all, I don’t want to see you hurt people with your magic.’ _

“Of course. I can do that.” Merlin said. “If there’s ever any other option, I will take it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin and Artemis stood at the doorway to the cavern, trying to find the will to leave it. 

_ ‘I like being able to talk to you…’ _

“I know.” Merlin stared into the dark hallway. “It’s going to be hard, not being able to talk easily to each other after we leave here… But I’m glad we got blessed with the opportunity when we came here.”

Artemis nodded, looking downcast. Merlin put his arm around him. “Hey,” he said softly,“We’re going to make it to an inn before nightfall, and I will spoil you with a bath, and food, and make sure you get the softest bed in the inn.” Merlin told Artemis before giving him a soft kiss.

Artemis grinned.  _ ‘You can’t guarantee all of that. Most inns don’t even have tubs.’ _

“This one will be the exception.” Merlin said before laughing. “I just like spoiling you.”

_ ‘I figured that one out a long time ago.’ _

“I’ve no clue how long we’ve been down here. We really should get on our way if we want to make it to a town before dark.” Merlin said reluctantly.

_ ‘Yeah…’  _ Artemis said, sounding just as unenthused about leaving.

“And I promised you good food. And a bath. And a good night’s sleep in a bed.” Merlin said, taking his hand. “We can’t stay down here forever.”

Artemis pressed up to his side.  _ ‘I know. It’s just…. So nice to talk with you so easily. And… I’m not very literate on paper… It’s hard sometimes to tell you exactly what I want.’ _

“I know, love. I know. But I’ll keep teaching you.” Merlin gave Artemis another kiss. “Alright. Are you ready to go?” He squeezed Artemis’ hand.

Artemis took a deep breath.  _ ‘I’m ready.’ _

“Then let’s head out.”

_ ‘Merlin?’ _

“Yes, love?”

_ ‘... I love you.’ _

******************************************************************************

Arthur awoke early evening to a servant leaving his dinner (late lunch?) on the table hurriedly.

She poured his water and wine so fast she spilled some, wiping it up quickly with her sleeve and then nearly running out the door after giving a clumsy curtsy.

The guards had been watching from his door the whole time, like they thought he might try to strangle the serving girl or something.

Arthur picked up the bread before dropping it back onto the plate. He poked at the pork with little interest. Then he picked up the wine and took it back to his bed, sitting down and drinking it. He wished the servant had left him the pitcher.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You didn’t eat?” King Uther asked, pointedly lifting up Arthur’s plate before dropping it back down.

“Wasn’t hungry.” Arthur stood looking out the window.

“Turn around. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Arthur gave an annoyed sigh and turned around, sitting against the window sill.

“Tell me why you ran off.”

“My reasons are private.”

“Was it for the hunt you were telling me about? Was it so important to you that you had to embarrass me like you did?”

“My intention was never to embarrass you, Father.” Arthur couldn’t hide his sarcastic undertone. “It wasn’t for a hunt.”

Uther waited for a moment until it became clear that Arthur was not going to add anything else. “Bayard of Mercia is here.  _ Now. _ And I have to deal with the fact that my own son ran off and had to be dragged back in chains for some unknown reason instead of devoting more of my time to this treaty.”

“No one is telling you that you have to be here. Go deal with your treaty with Bayard.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I don’t need to be drugged again. Thanks.” Arthur pushed away the sleeping tincture Gaius tried to offer him as a servant readied him for bed.

“This will be the last one I give you. It will help you get through the night.”

“Is Father afraid if I’m not completely drugged up I’ll try to run away again?” Arthur scoffed. “I think the guards posted outside my door and under my window ensures that that won’t happen anytime soon.”

Gaius set the sleeping tincture down on the bedside table and waited patiently as the servant finished readying Arthur for bed and left.

“Your father may not understand why you ran off, but I believe I do.”

Arthur fiddled with the cuffs of his sleeve.

“You went to find Merlin, didn’t you?”

Hearing his old servant’s name made Arthur’s heart twist painfully, but he kept his face neutral. “And why would I do that?”

“I read the note Merlin left. I know what you did.”

Arthur folded down one corner of his bed covers. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“But you do.” Gaius picked up the sleeping draught again. “Whatever anger you may feel towards the two of them, you need to let it go. They left for a reason. And it-” Gaius paused, looking a bit pained. “-And it hurts me that Merlin is gone. But you know as well as I do why they left. You have no one to blame except yourself for Merlin being gone.”

“I would kindly ask you to leave. Or you may need to call the guards. For your own sake.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin poured more bath oil into the water before getting into the tub with Artemis.

They had spent a decent amount of the money Artemis had taken from the slave traders on a good room, and had a tub taken up to their room and filled for them.

Turns out, when you throw around some money, people are willing to accommodate you with whatever you like.

Artemis had to go out and buy their food for them when they arrived in the afternoon at the inn. Merlin was ready to collapse from hunger. So Artemis let him rest on the bed and he went out to the market and bought as much food for them as he could carry. Again, paying with the deceased slave trader’s money.

They ate their fill, then took a quick nap. Now Merlin felt more rested and energized than he had for a long time.

Artemis stretched out in the tub, lifting his legs and resting them on Merlin. Merlin absently rubbed his feet and legs with a clean cloth. “You look happy.” He observed.

Artemis gave a contented smile and rested his head on the edge of the tub.

“You already took a nap with me, love.” Merlin teased. “Don’t tell me you’re tired again already.”

Artemis shook his head, twitching when Merlin went between his toes with the cloth. “Just trying to be thorough.” He said innocently. “I know how picky you are about hygiene.”

Artemis rolled his eyes and playfully nudged Merlin with his foot.

“Besides, if you fall asleep again, you’ll miss out on all the fun things I have planned for us tonight.” Merlin said in a low voice.

Artemis bit his lip and looked intrigued.

They both washed their hair at the same time. Artemis ducked under the water and when he rose he shook his head like a wet dog.

“Artemis.” Merlin said, wiping his face off. “You’ll get everything all wet.”

Artemis grinned and splashed him a little. Merlin, not wanting to start a splashing war and get the floor soaked before they had to get out, just allowed it.

Merlin sat up straight to wash his own chest and arms while Artemis stood and washed his more intimate areas with his own cloth.

Merlin, unable to resist such a pretty sight when it was literally directly in front of him, pressed a quick kiss to Artemis’ cock before pulling back and continuing to wash like he’d done nothing at all. He didn’t miss Artemis knowing smirk, or his cock’s interested twitch afterward.

Once they were both completely and thoroughly cleaned, smelling strongly of the lavender bath oil Artemis had bought at market, Merlin let Artemis get out first, making sure he didn’t slip on the stone floor.

Artemis wrapped himself up in a towel and waited for Merlin to join him beside the fireplace. Merlin used another towel to dry off his own hair, then Artemis’. “We deserved this.” He said decidedly. “After the few days we’ve had? Definitely deserved this.”

Artemis nodded his agreement and leaned against Merlin. Merlin took Artemis’ hand and gently pressed a kiss to each knuckle. “I know that the west wasn’t where we wanted to be… The kingdom of Essetir definitely has its flaws… but I think if we try, we can find a good town to settle near and make a good life for ourselves.”

Artemis nodded while staring at the fire.

Merlin gently ran a finger down Artemis’ spine, making him shiver. “I’d like to take you to bed now, if you’d like.”

It took all of 30 seconds of them making out and rubbing up against each other to find out that the bed was going to make a ton of noise if they kept going.

Merlin and Artemis instead carefully picked up the mattress and dragged it to the floor, positioning it at the foot of the bed.

“You can feel the heat from the fire a bit better this way.” Merlin observed before being kissed hungrily by an impatient Artemis.

Merlin let himself be straddled, sitting on the mattress, leaning against the bed frame. He let Artemis control the speed and rhythm of their kisses. Merlin reached between their bodies and gave Artemis’ cock an appreciative stroke, making Artemis’ hips jut forward.

Merlin ran the flat of his palm in circles on Artemis’ hip, then his waist, then he travelled to his backside, finding Artemis’ entrance and stroking it lightly with one finger.

Artemis broke their kiss to nip at his own lip before returning to the kiss, this time encouraging Merlin to open his mouth more so he could slip his tongue inside.

As their tongues twisted together, Merlin kept gently prodding and stroking at Artemis’ opening, until he pulled back to wet his finger quickly, returning to it and pushed the first knuckle inside.

Artemis broke off their kiss again, gasping and burying his head in Merlin’s neck.

Merlin tugged at his rim delicately, using his other hand to rub Artemis’ back in circles. Artemis reached for his own cock, stroking it softly like he couldn’t help himself. He ended up grabbing their cocks together and stroking them at the same time.

“Artemis.” Merlin said quietly. “I want to use the bath oil tonight, but before I prep you with it, would you like me to use my mouth first?”

Artemis couldn’t climb off of Merlin fast enough, positioning himself on the mattress in front of Merlin, holding himself up by his elbows, presenting his backside to Merlin eagerly.

Merlin gave himself a second to appreciate the sight before leaning over and giving Artemis’ opening a firm lick with the flat of his tongue.

“Feels like it’s been forever since I’ve done this.” Merlin muttered before stiffening his tongue and using the tip to trace circles around the opening.

One of these days, Merlin swore to himself, he was going to use just his tongue and fingers to get Artemis off. Tonight, however, he was too turned on to go for that. He was dying to feel the twitching and pulsing sensation of Artemis’ climax around his cock.

He had no idea how long he’d been doing this to Artemis as the minutes went by. Artemis was panting, having given up on propping himself up on his elbows, and had sprawled his upper half on the mattress, arms stretched up by his head. Merlin realized he was more or less holding Artemis up by his hips as he went on with his languid ministrations.

Almost regretfully, he finally pulled back, calling the bath oil over to himself silently with his magic. He popped open the bottle, pouring some onto Artemis’ entrance, making him twitch. Then he poured some on his first three fingers, carefully pressing in the first two.

Once he’d pushed past the initial resistance, Artemis was pushing back against him. Merlin slowly twisted his fingers side to side, being rewarded with seeing Artemis grab the mattress and his mouth open in apparent ecstacy.

“You pretty little minx.” Merlin said. “You like this?” He added, starting to twist his fingers the other direction.

It was a rhetorical question, but Artemis nodded anyway. Merlin alternated between twisting his fingers side to side and trying to separate his fingers like a pair of scissors inside of Artemis’ tight entrance. “You feel amazing. You look stunning like this; all stretched out in front of me. Can’t believe I get to be the one to look at you like this. To see you absolutely wrecked and aroused and waiting for my cock in you.”

He saw Artemis’ eyes flutter closed and his tongue quickly darted out to wet his lips.

Merlin pressed in a third after making sure Artemis could comfortably take it. Seeing Artemis’ opening stretched around his fingers was always a gorgeous sight. He curled his fingers and was rewarded by seeing Artemis twist his hands into the bedsheets and hearing him suck in air sharply between his teeth.

“You’re all mine, aren’t you, my sweet?” Merlin thrust his fingers in and out at a gentle pace. “You love this, don’t you? I can tell by the way you pant and twitch and arch for me. Such a pretty thing, you are.”

Merlin pulled his fingers out, coating his cock liberally with the oil. He set the bottle to the side and prepared to push in.

Artemis rolled over onto his back, sitting up before Merlin could push inside of him. He got back onto Merlin’s lap and hovered over him for a second, grabbing the base of Merlin’s cock and carefully lowering himself onto it, gasping when the tip went in, then sinking himself all the way down to the root.

Merlin naturally went to grab Artemis’ waist, letting him take a moment to adjust to everything. He wasn’t the biggest fan of Artemis being on top. Artemis tended to lose his pattern and rhythm easily, and had a tendency to sit a bit too hard back onto Merlin.

His facial expressions almost made up for the discomfort and Merlin losing his climax due to Artemis switching things up and/or pausing for a second. Artemis  _ loved  _ being on top, from what Merlin could tell. He would nip his own lip, pet Merlin everywhere he could touch, pant and throw his head back… His mouth would open and shut, and he’d eventually stop, fully seated on Merlin, and stroke himself until he reached his peak. Usually, he’d either get off and get on all fours so Merlin could finish, or he’d collapse onto Merlin and Merlin would thrust up into him until he reached his own climax.

Artemis started moving, slowly but surely. He pushed his hips forward, sliding up, then back down. Merlin groaned at the feeling. Artemis was taking it slow, to the point where it was almost torture.

Artemis buried his face in Merlin’s neck, while Merlin stretched out his legs. Artemis was practically grinding on Merlin, barely lifting up at all. It was definitely different.

Artemis was panting, and Merlin could feel his heart pounding through his chest. “It’s hitting that spot, isn’t it, love?” Merlin figured out. Artemis nodded a confirmation.

Merlin couldn’t help but chuckle. No wonder he was barely moving up and down, just an inch or so, moving his hips back and forth.

He heard Artemis’ stuttering breaths quicken. He felt Artemis’ hand reach between their bodies. He barely made contact with his arousal before reaching his climax, still twitching his hips back and forth, spurting out his seed, coating Merlin’s stomach and his own with it, spreading it around as he eventually collapsed against Merlin, exhausted.

Merlin rubbed his back in circles, taking the time to enjoy Artemis twitching around his cock. He waited for Artemis to recover before carefully setting him down on his back onto the mattress.

Merlin lifted Artemis’ legs up onto his shoulders. He pressed several kisses onto his ankles and legs. “Do you want me to finish like this? Would that be okay?”

Artemis nodded.

Artemis had been getting used to doing certain things on his back. Merlin understood the lingering effects the abuse from those men had had on him, but they had been trying to work it out gradually to where he could handle laying back and letting Merlin do things to him without him having a small breakdown.

“It’s just me, my sweet. You know it’s just me.” Merlin whispered to him soothingly, holding his hand and slowly moving in and out. “You look utterly gorgeous like this. My sweet, beloved Artemis.”

Artemis blinked slowly like a cat, stretching out and running his thumb back and forth across Merlin’s hand. Merlin took his free hand and traced a finger along his jawline, then ran a finger across his mouth. Artemis pursed his lips and kissed his fingertips as Merlin ran them across his mouth.

Artemis gradually adjusted himself until his legs were wrapped around Merlin’s waist, instead of propped on his shoulder. Merlin also adjusted himself accordingly, pulling Artemis’ hips up and pulling him closer to himself, leaning over him more.

Merlin saw Artemis’ formerly limp cock getting plump with interest again. He twirled a finger in the soft hairs surrounding his arousal and softly asked Artemis if it would be okay for him to touch it, not knowing if Artemis was still too sensitive to be messed with.

Artemis nodded his consent and Merlin wrapped his left hand around it, stroking it delicately and loosely, watching Artemis’ eyes shut in rapture.

Merlin sped up his thrusts, encouraged by the sight of Artemis enjoying himself under Merlin’s touch. He found himself fixated by the feel and sight of Artemis’ growing and stiffening cock. He gave it a series of quick yet gentle squeezes and Artemis’ mouth flew open as he began to pant again.

“You think that you could cum like this one more time, love?” Merlin whispered, the idea beyond thrilling for him. “I want to see that pretty face you make again. Can you try? For me?”

Artemis nodded, eyes still squeezed shut. Merlin switched hands, quickly and quietly spitting into his right palm before gripping Artemis’ erection again, trying to match his strokes with his thrusts.

Artemis grabbed his left hand, holding onto it tightly. He opened his eyes and tightened his legs around Merlin’s waist, sweat shining on his face.

Merlin grew flushed and hotter, feeling his peak grow closer and closer. He felt his legs tremble and he had to let go of Artemis, gripping Artemis’ waist and giving his last few, stuttering thrusts before he came deep inside of Artemis.

Exhausted, he almost wanted to collapse on top of Artemis and pass out right then and there. He made himself stay upright, becoming aware of Artemis stroking himself fervently, tensed around Merlin’s softening cock that was still inside of him.

Merlin got his breath back, watching the mesmerizing sight of Artemis pleasuring himself. He murmured words of encouragement every once in a while, unable to do much else.

When Artemis came, he sucked in air sharply through his teeth, his cum joining the first round of seed that was drying all over his stomach.

“Beautiful, love.” Merlin said, slowly pulling himself out of Artemis. “That was brilliant.” He laid down next to Artemis. “First time we’ve been able to finish like that without any issues.” He almost said ‘breakdowns’, but thought at the last minute that that sounded a bit harsh. “Good job.”

Merlin trailed a finger through the seed. “Can’t believe you actually came twice. That was amazing.” Artemis smiled tiredly.

They couldn’t fall asleep like this, not with Artemis covered in seed and both of them shining with sweat.

Merlin got up, grabbed a cloth and wet it with the water in the pitcher. He wiped the sweat away from Artemis’ face first, imagining that the cold probably felt pretty good. Then he wiped his own face clean, rewetting the cloth and wiping up the cum on Artemis’ chest and stomach.

Merlin cleaned off his own cock quickly, then lifted Artemis’ legs. He wet the rag one more time, pressed the cold cloth gently to Artemis’ sore opening.

Artemis hissed a little at first, then relaxed. Merlin took his time, trying to get him properly clean without causing any discomfort. Despite knowing how sensitive and sore Artemis must feel, the sight of that swollen entrance was gorgeous to him.

He finished cleaning, then tossed the rag into the bowl, lying down beside Artemis again. “Tonight was amazing, wasn’t it, love?” He asked before kissing Artemis. Artemis agreed, taking hold of Merlin’s hand and resting his head on his chest, falling asleep within minutes, leaving Merlin to fall asleep a few minutes later, wondering how he ever got so lucky as to have someone like Artemis.

******************************************************************************

It started storming again at some point in the middle of the night, and Robin could have screamed.

It was the worst storm yet. The lightning was blinding, the thunder was deafening, and his horse was getting more and more uneasy.

Robin was cold, he was wet, and he was starving. The horse had been filling up on grass the entire journey, but it couldn’t keep going on just that. Robin had managed to catch a fish yesterday, desperate with hunger enough to eat it raw. When he realized what he had done, he fought to keep it from coming back up.

Robin came upon a town, hoping to see someone awake who could take pity on him and let him inside. He’d do anything for a warm place to sleep and good food, and proper food for his poor horse.

But no one was out. It was too late at night, and the storm was too fierce.

Robin led his horse through the town, keeping his head down.

When he saw a house with a small stable behind it, he couldn’t stop himself from approaching it. The house was dark, and Robin didn’t fancy being rejected by someone and having to move on, not when the stables were open and  _ right there _ . He could feed his horse, and dry her off. He could curl up on a horse blanket or in a pile of straw. He could face the consequences of trespassing tomorrow.

_ Better to ask forgiveness than permission _ , he decided, leading his horse to the stables.

Obviously, there was already a horse in one of the three stalls. It whinnied angrily at Robin when it noticed him.

Robin dumped some feed on the ground, then some hay. He found a bucket of water and set it by his horse, who was greedily devouring the food before her.

Robin found a blanket and started drying her off. He wanted badly to just lay down and pass out, but he couldn’t afford for this horse to get sick. He had to take care of her first.

The resident horse got more and more furious the more things Robin took liberties with. It stamped it’s hooves and neighed loudly in outrage. Robin ignored it, hoping it would settle down by the time he went to sleep.

Robin found himself eyeing the grain feed for the horse. Even the water in the bucket that his horse had just drank out of didn’t seem so bad.

Knowing he would regret it in the morning (on top of trespassing in someone else’s stables), he grabbed a handful of the grain and stuffed it in his mouth, then scooped some water into his mouth as well to wash it down.

He repeated this a few times until he couldn’t bring himself to swallow down anymore horse feed. He coughed a couple of times, straightening up, trying not to think about what he had just done.

Robin’s heart stopped when he felt someone from behind him grab his shoulders tightly and spin him around.

“And what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

******************************************************************************

Arthur awoke to a deafening crack of thunder. He sat up in bed, the blinding lightning lighting up his room with every strike.

He went to his window, checking to see if the guards that had been posted under his window were still there. They were.

Arthur opened his mouth to call for Merlin, before fully remembering that he was long gone. Arthur closed his mouth again, his heart twisting painfully.

_ I don’t care if it takes months or even years, Artemis will pay for taking him from me _ , Arthur vowed.

As the storm raged on, Arthur crawled back into bed, tossing a pillow over his head to drown out the noise, and fought to go back to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ Arthur awoke to bright sunlight pouring into his room. He groaned, rolling over and bumping into something. _

_ “Ow. Clumsy.” He heard a familiar voice grumble. _

_ Arthur sat up and looked to his left in disbelief. There was Merlin, in his bed, hair still scruffy from sleep, eye still half-shut, looking at Arthur. He was wearing one of Arthur’s white shirts. It looked surprisingly good on him, albeit a bit big. _

_ “Merlin?” Arthur asked, not fully believing it. _

_ “Mm?” Merlin said, starting to close his eyes again. _

_ “Merlin. You came back to me.” _

_ “I never left you.” Merlin said, sounding sleepy and amused. _

_ “But that boy… you left with him.” _

_ “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Merlin muttered, burying his face into the blankets. _

_ Arthur didn’t understand what was happening anymore, but he didn’t care. He pushed Merlin onto his back and straddled him, kissing him before he could stop himself. Merlin accepted the kiss readily with no hesitation. _

_ Gods, his mouth was so plump and soft, his hair was as silky as Arthur had always imagined it to be. He smelled of herbs and sunlight. Arthur breathed it in deeply, cherishing it. He never thought he would get to smell that perfect scent ever again. _

_ “Can’t breathe.” Merlin broke the kiss off to say. He was smiling. “What’s got into you this morning?” _

_ “You came back.” Arthur buried his face in Merlin’s neck. “Promise me you won’t ever leave me ever again. It’s unbearable without you.” _

_ “Fine, fine. Whatever makes you happy.” Merlin said. _

_ “My Merlin.” Arthur kissed him again. “My Merlin. I’ll never let anyone take you away from me ever again. It’s you and me, forever and ever.” _

_ “Of course, you royal prat.” Merlin scoffed. “As if anyone could ever make me leave you.” _

_ Arthur leaned in for another kiss. Merlin lifted his chin to receive it- _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

The loud clanging of metal hitting the floor woke Arthur from his dream. He startled awake, sitting up.

A servant was hastily picking up the pitcher from the floor. “Sorry, my lord. Sorry.” He apologized.

“Where’s Merlin?” Arthur demanded.

“Merlin? He doesn’t… work here anymore, sire.”

“He was just here.” Arthur got out of bed. The servant backed up fearfully. “Fetch him for me.”

“But sire-”

“Go get him!”

“Sire, he’s not  _ here _ . He left, remember?”

Arthur ran his hands through his own hair, grabbing and pulling at it out of anger and frustration. “I don’t need excuses! Go get him for me  **_now_ ** .”

Arthur’s door opened and two guards came in. The servant took the opportunity to slip out.

“Leave me be.” Arthur growled at the guards. “I can speak to my servants however I wish. I don’t need your intervention.”

“Fetch the king.” One guard said to the other. “I’ll keep guarding the door.”

“Really?” Arthur scoffed. “I yell at a servant and you send for my father to chastise me?”

“The king wanted to speak with you after you awoke.”

“Can he bring Merlin with him? I need to see Merlin.”

The guard seemed taken aback by this. “Merlin doesn’t work here anymore.”

“That’s utter nonsense. He was just here. I just spoke to him.  **_Why_ ** is everyone refusing to get him for me?” Arthur demanded to know.

“I- I will be right outside, sire. The king will be here shortly.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur sat on the edge of his bed as Gaius examined him in front of the king.

“Merlin was never here, was he?” Arthur asked flatly. “It was a dream.”

Gaius glanced at the king before taking a look at Arthur’s lip. “The infection hasn’t returned. I’ll apply more ointment.”

“It felt so real…” Arthur said dully, looking down at the floor. “I really thought he had come back.”

“What is all of this, Arthur?” King Uther demanded. “Why are you rambling about your old servant?”

“I thought he had come back. Everything that was said… It felt real.”

Gaius kept a neutral expression as he rubbed the ointment onto the stitched up wounds.

“Gaius, explain what’s happening. What’s wrong with him?”

Gaius straightened up before answering. “For now, I hesitate to give a full diagnosis. I would like to see him eating again, since he hasn’t since his arrival back in Camelot. I would like to prescribe 2 full weeks of sleeping draughts to be taken nightly, to see if that helps with the… confusing dreams. And I have a mixture of herb tinctures that may help. Some older remedies included bloodletting in cases such as his, but in my experience, that doesn’t seem to help the patient.”

“Cases such as his?” Uther asked. “I need to know what’s going on with my son. What are you thinking?”

Gaius paused. He looked at Arthur. “I don’t want to give a firm diagnosis, not just yet, sire. I want to see him eating and sleeping normally-”

“Will he recover from whatever is causing him to act out?”

“With time, I don’t see why he couldn’t.” Gaius was facing away from the king as he said this, sounding convincing enough. But Arthur saw the look of hesitation on his face as he looked at the prince.

“Prescribe whatever is needed. I don’t care what. I need him back to normal as quickly as possible. The knights, and the people, need their prince back.”

“I don’t see this behavior lasting too long, sire. Not with proper treatments and care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter ended weird, but there's a very good reason for that.


	26. Chapter 26

**THREE MONTHS LATER**

Arthur sat dully in front of the window as a serving girl carefully trimmed and combed his hair under the watchful eyes of some guards.

His walls were bare now. Anything sharp as well as anything else that could possibly be used as a weapon was gone.

He remembered the way his father had ordered everything potentially dangerous removed from the prince’s chambers after a particularly violent outburst from Arthur.

_ “Take down the shields from the walls. As well as the tapestries. No pokers, nothing sharp can remain here. Nothing he could use to harm anyone or… himself.”  _ Uther had said, his voice and expression becoming more pained as he spoke.

Guards were in and out every hour. He wasn’t to be left alone while eating, he was not to be given wine or any other strong drink. Anytime a servant was in his room, there were guards to watch Arthur, to make sure he didn’t go after them.

Arthur spent his days sleeping, or looking outside, or trying to read, but nothing could take his mind off Merlin.

He had to admit to himself, after his father had mentioned the possibility of Arthur harming himself, that the idea had some appeal. There were days when he was so consumed with his thoughts of Merlin, despairing of ever seeing him again, that just finding a way to end his own dull, misery-filled days sounded attractive.

_ But if I die, Artemis wins _ , Arthur reminded himself.

And so he went on with his days.

The nights were nearly unbearable. He dreamt of Merlin, of spending his days with him, constantly. The dreams were so vivid, so real, that he often woke up fighting back tears when he was faced with his loneliness.

He would dream of walking around town with Merlin, going hunting with him, wandering around the castle, and his heart would be filled with inexorable joy at being with his Merlin once more. Until he would awake, and he would have to face the reality that his Merlin was no longer with him.

One day, he vowed, his father would let up with this nonsense of keeping him confined to his chambers, and Arthur would find Merlin, and he would bring him to his senses. He would make Merlin understand that he made a mistake running off with that boy.  _ Arthur  _ was who he was meant to be with. Merlin would understand one day.

He would have to.

******************************************************************************

Merlin awoke on his small pallet. He stretched and rose up, listening for the sounds of anyone else being in the house with him.

When he didn’t hear the usual shuffling of another person, he got up, rolled up his pallet, and left his ‘room’.

There was a bowl of porridge waiting for him. Still warm.

_ Eileen must not have left too long ago _ , Merlin figured.

He sat down and ate quickly, then looked outside.

It had been a very mild winter so far. They had a vicious winter storm last month, and some light snowfalls since then. But nothing too terrible. Until that winter storm, Eileen had made him sleep in her barn, up in the loft. Merlin hadn’t minded, although it had been very chilly. Now, she allowed him to sleep in a corner of her house, on a spare pallet she had. Merlin was grateful for anything she had given him.

Merlin slipped on a different shirt, then grabbed his jacket and money. He went outside, where his boots were waiting beside the door, and slipped those on as well.

Eileen was not outside either. He figured she must be shopping or grabbing some water. Never matter. He promised her he would check on the traps he had set up a couple of days ago.

He wandered the long way through town, nodding politely at the people he knew, looking at some of the merchant stalls. He heard someone coming up fast behind him and he guessed who it was before turning around.

“Artemis.” He smiled as Artemis opened his arms for a hug. He embraced his lover quickly.

“Where did you get that?” Merlin asked, pointing to a scone Artemis was holding in his hand.

Artemis pointed back towards another booth.

“Looks good. No thanks,” Merlin added as Artemis offered him a bite. “I’m full from my breakfast. I was about to check some traps for Eileen. Want to join me?”

Artemis eagerly nodded and off they went into the woods.

When Merlin and Artemis had arrived here three months ago, Merlin gave anyone who asked the ‘cousin’s story’, when asked about the nature of his and Artemis’ relationship. Despite the fact that they looked nothing alike, no one batted an eye at that explanation. That also meant no one looked twice when Merlin and Artemis would link arms as they walked through town, or were seen spending a lot of time together.

“How is Colleen?” Merin asked. “She holding up okay?”

Artemis gave a positive sort of nod.

“The treatment I gave her is helping?”

Artemis nodded again.

Colleen was a woman who lived on the other end of town that was letting Artemis stay with her. It had taken Merlin an embarrassing amount of time to realize that Eileen and Colleen were sisters.

Merlin had treated Colleen for a severe cough and congestion a few days ago. He needed to stop by at some point today and check on her progress.

Merlin had been using a mix of the limited amount of physician’s knowledge he had learned from Gaius, as well as a healthy dose of magic to heal some of the people in this town. He never let on that magic was his ‘secret ingredient’, so to speak. So far, he had healed a small number of injured and ill people in this town, which got him quite a bit of respect and trust from the townspeople. Some insisted on paying him, either with coin or food, which Merlin never asked for, but was always grateful for the repayment.

Artemis did chores for people around town, and got payment in some form as well. He did a lot of chores for Colleen, who was in generally poor health a lot, in return for letting him stay in a spare room she had.

******************************************************************************

Merlin had checked every single trap, and was now carrying around three dead rabbits and a dead squirrel. Artemis was trotting along beside him, his boots crunching in the thin layer of snow.

Merlin was pleased at how happy Artemis had been in the last few months. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen him sad.

Well… that wasn’t quite true… The last time he saw Artemis upset and crying was their first night in town, at the inn….

_ Merlin had awoken in the small bed at the inn, sweating and heart racing. He had dreamt that Arthur had found them, and that he had gotten to Artemis first. Merlin continued to dream of finding the lifeless form of Artemis in their home. Merlin had forced himself to wake up when his dream lingered over Artemis’ deceased form. _

_ It took Merlin a minute to realize that Artemis was also awake and crying beside him. _

_ He never did find out what Artemis had dreamed about that made him so inconsolable for nearly an hour, and depressed for a few days after. What he did know is that this was probably the fault of the quartz gemstone, and that was the final straw for him. The gemstone got buried that same night the second Artemis was back asleep. The nightmares ceased for him at once. He assumed they had for Artemis as well. _

Merlin was shaken from his memory by Artemis grabbing his hand and motioning toward a small cave. Merlin smiled a little to himself. “You want to check it out?” He asked.

In response, Artemis tugged him toward it, guiding him inside.

Merlin barely had time to drop the animal carcasses to the ground before Artemis was leaping into his arms and kissing him. Merlin wrapped his arms around Artemis and held him tight.

Not waking up with Artemis every day was killing Merlin, after he had been doing so for so long before they moved to this town. He missed Artemis like crazy every time they were apart. Every second they had together, he savored.

******************************************************************************

Artemis let Merlin turn him around and he pressed his back to Merlin’s warm chest as Merlin gently encouraged Artemis to tilt his head to the side so he could press sucking, open-mouthed kisses along Artemis’ neck and jaw.

“You’re happy here, my love?” Merlin asked him softly. “You like being here? The people are good to you?”

Artemis was beyond happy with his current life. He had a warm place to sleep every night, even if it was apart from Merlin for now. He made some money doing chores for people. The people in the town were kind to him, more kind than any other strangers he had encountered in his recent years. They didn’t talk down to him like he had the mind of a child, they didn’t talk about him like he wasn’t there, they didn’t mock his inability to speak. They treated him with respect. It was all Artemis had ever wanted from people.

Merlin laid a hand on the top of Artemis’ head and encouraged him to tilt his head the other way, continuing his loving ministrations on the other side of his neck. Artemis closed his eyes, savoring the soft, sucking kisses being pressed to his skin. Merlin’s left arm snaked around his waist, pulling him in tighter as Merlin rolled his hips against Artemis’ backside. Artemis gasped involuntarily when he felt Merlin’s hardness pressing up against him.

“When we’re in our own place,” Merlin whispered in his ear, making him shiver, “we can have moments like this whenever we wish. No more running off to a ‘safe place’, no more worrying about someone seeing us… Just you and me in our home. I want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”

Artemis closed his eyes and leaned his head back against Merlin. He loved imagining their future together, especially at nighttime when he was settling down and trying to sleep. He would fall asleep picturing him and Merlin sitting outside in front of a quaint little cabin, enjoying their breakfast and listening to the birds sing. He imagined when spring would come, and they would till up a section of the ground to plant their fruit and vegetable seeds. And at nighttime, they could listen to the wind and the owls and the trees rustling as they fell asleep in each other's arms… And Artemis would fall asleep thinking about how amazing that was going to be.

He could feel Merlin lean down and angle his head to give Artemis a kiss, and Artemis pursed his lips a little in anticipation. Then he heard something or someone’s footsteps crunching out in the snow outside of the cave.

Artemis jumped a little, then twisted away from Merlin. “What is it?” Merlin asked.

Artemis put his finger to his lips and listened. This time, Merlin must have heard it too. He bent down and grabbed the rabbit carcasses, like he was trying to appear casual to whoever might peek into the cave and see them.

Artemis’ heart raced as the steps, which sounded very slow and uneven, grew ever closer to the cave entrance. Then the thing making the footsteps made an appearance at the mouth of the cave.

“Oh. It’s just a deer.” Merlin said, sounding both amused and relieved.

The deer didn’t seem relieved to see them, and took off running after a quick look inside the cave at them.

Artemis exhaled slowly. Merlin gave him an affectionate tap on the nose. “Even if it had been a person, they wouldn’t have seen us doing anything.” He pointed out.

Merlin was right, but Artemis still had a fear of being caught together, and even just being  _ accused  _ of doing something dirty together. Maybe some of the townspeople wouldn’t care, but the thought of being chased away or worse,  _ killed  _ for doing things together, terrified Artemis.

Maybe Merlin would be able to stop anyone from hurting them, maybe not. It wasn’t a situation he wanted to find himself in.

“You look tense now. Did you want to head back?” Merlin asked, almost like he was hoping Artemis would say no. But the mood was kind of over for Artemis so he nodded his head. Merlin looked disappointed, but he linked arms with Artemis and off they went back into town.

“Speaking of our future home together, Eileen was telling me yesterday that she might know of a place in the woods we could move into come spring.” Merlin said. “She said it’s a bit of a fixer-upper, and she’d have to check with some of the others around town, but it might be a good place for us.”

Artemis smiled, mostly to himself. He crossed his fingers that they would be alone together in their own place soon.

******************************************************************************

_ Arthur smiled at Merlin sitting on the edge of their bed, wearing Arthur’s white shirt as usual. His smile faded when he noticed how sad Merlin looked. _

_ “Merlin.” Arthur sat next to Merlin and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “What’s wrong?” _

_ “Why aren’t you looking for me?” _

_ “What? Merlin, you’re right here. We’re together.” He grabbed Merlin's hand and kissed it. _

_ “This isn’t real.” Merlin said sadly. “You’ll wake up soon. And we will be apart once more.” _

_ “Merlin, no. This isn’t a dream.” Arthur insisted. “We’re here. Together. And we always will be.” _

_ “You need to find me.” _

_ “You’re  _ right here _.” _

_ “Please come find me, Arthur.” _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up. It was still nighttime.

He rolled out of the covers and sat on the edge of the bed. Tears filled his eyes and he covered his face with his hands. “I want to find you, Merlin.” He said out loud. “But they have me trapped in here. The minute I get out, I will look for you again. We’ll be together like we were always meant to be. I promise.”

******************************************************************************

“I killed the snake that was eating Eileen’s chicken’s eggs this morning.” Merlin said cheerfully. “I walked into the coop to grab some eggs for our breakfast and spotted it trying to get away. Grabbed a hoe that was leaned against the wall and got it in one fell swoop.”

Artemis smiled at his story like he was proud of Merlin. Merlin smiled back, happily eating his scone. They were sitting on a felled log on the edge of the woods.

“Eileen said she has to talk to the village elder, but that empty cabin in the woods she has been talking about might work out to be our new home.” Merlin said after some silence. Artemis looked pleased to hear that. They had been waiting on further news about the cabin for a few days now. “Not sure why she needs his permission. Maybe he used to own it or something? I don’t know. But I do know the elder likes me. I did heal both him and his son from their hunting injuries a couple of months ago. They don’t know I used a mix of magic along with the herbal wraps to heal them, but who cares?”

Artemis snorted.

“I know magic is legal in this kingdom, but some people still fear it. I don’t know when the right time to ‘come out’ about it would be. If ever.”

Artemis twisted his mouth like he was thinking, then shrugged.

Merlin considered Artemis as they finished their pastries. He seemed very at ease with Merlin’s magic nowadays, which made Merlin happy. He used to get uneasy whenever Merlin would talk about it or use it in front of him. Now, it barely seemed to bother him.

“It’s been over three months since we left Camelot…” Merlin said. “I highly doubt anyone is pursuing us. They’d be foolish to search anywhere outside of Camelot. Even Arthur would know better. It could be seen as an act of war if he or his knights were caught following our trail. Especially if they wandered into Essetir. Camelot and Essetir have a very… tense peace treaty right now.”

Merlin hoped he was right even as he said this with confidence. Surely, after all this time, Arthur was not pursuing them.

******************************************************************************

Arthur was awoken from a fitful sleep by a servant. He tiredly dressed himself, brushing off any help from the servant.

“Your breakfast is ready and I’ve already poured you a cup of water.” The servant said, audibly and visibly nervous, keeping his distance from the prince.

Arthur gazed at his food with general disinterest and begrudgingly drank some water. He took a bite of bread and then laid back down in bed.

“Sire? The king… had requested that you eat everything.” The servant said timidly.

Arthur turned his head to look at him. “Are you giving me an order?”

“No, sire!” The servant said hastily, looking at the door like he wanted to run. “It’s what the king said. He wants to make sure you start eating all of your meals.”

“Not interested.”

“Could you please? I-”

“ **Get. Out.** ” Arthur warned. “I don’t care about following any orders or requests from my father so long as he keeps me locked up like some prisoner in my own chambers.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur laid in bed listlessly for a few hours. He heard the guards come in every once in a while to check on him, but he didn’t care to look at them when they did so, instead he stared up at the ceiling until they were gone.

Even when his father entered the room at some point in the afternoon, Arthur did not get out of bed or even deign to look at him.

“Arthur, this is beyond ridiculous.” King Uther said angrily. “You cannot keep this up.”

Arthur ignored him.

“Arthur, I am speaking to you!” King Uther snapped. “You will respond to me when you are spoken to.”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“What is all of this, Arthur? This lying in bed all day, staring at a wall, refusing to eat, your violent outbursts towards the servants and guards. What is the cause of it?”

“I need to find Merlin. I’ve told you before. You need to let me find him.”

“Arthur, he was but a  _ servant _ . There are dozens more just like him. This… obsession with this boy.” King Uther hesitated. “It needs to end. Now. He was a servant. Gaius told me he quit and left Camelot. And it may have been quite sudden for you. Especially given the apparent fondness you had for him. But moping around after trying to chase down an old servant who left of his own free will is one of the most ridiculous things you’ve ever done. He’s gone now. You can get another servant just like him in an instant. This behavior  _ has  _ to stop, Arthur. It’s not befitting a prince.”

“He was not just a servant.” Arthur said. “He was so much more than that. And I didn’t see it while he was in my service. I lost out on something great. And I need him back.”

“You are talking nonsense.”

“Please. Father.” Arthur rose up and looked at the king. “I am begging you to let me search for him. Give me even just a few weeks. I just need to see him again. I need to convince him to come back.”

“Absolutely not.” His father snapped. “That’s such an outlandish request. You want me to form a search party, full of knights who should be protecting our kingdom, just so you can search the lands for a simple peasant boy? Can you not hear yourself?”

“Stop calling him ‘just a servant’ or ‘just a peasant’!” Arthur shouted. “I’ve told you multiple times what his companionship meant to me. If I could just have him back, if I could find him and convince him to return with me, I promise you I will go back to being exactly who I was before all of this. I just  _ need  _ to see him again.”

“You do not ‘need’ the friendship of an old servant. You are the crowned prince of Camelot. And you will recover with the aid of our physician just fine, if you would just realize how foolish you sound and act about this whole matter.”

******************************************************************************

That night, Arthur sat at his table and allowed a servant to serve him his meal. He took a few sips of water, then quietly took a bite of food. He could barely taste it, staring straight ahead at a bare wall.

He heard a clatter and realized the serving girl had dropped the pitcher of water. He stared listlessly at the puddle on the floor as she apologized profusely and wiped it up.

“I’ll get you some more water, sire. I’m so sorry.” She said again, once the floor was dry.

Arthur didn’t respond, turning to watch her go with the now-empty pitcher. The guards still waited by the door.

“I know you report my behavior to my father.” Arthur said to them. “You can at least tell him I’m eating now.”

Neither of the guards replied.

Arthur took another glum bite of chicken and some movement he saw out of the corner of his eye made him turn his head.

There, beside his changing curtain, was Merlin. Not in the white shirt he always wore in Arthur’s dreams, but back in his usual blue shirt and neckerchief combination.

Arthur stood up, unsure of what he was seeing, of what it meant. “Merlin?”

Merlin gave him a small smile and then held his finger to his lips, as if to shush the prince.

Arthur was not about to do that. “Merlin, you’re here. Did they find you? Did my father send out a search party after all? Did you come back of your own accord?”

“Sire?” One of the guards behind him said. Arthur heard the other whisper, “he’s talking about his servant again. I’ll get the physician and the king.”

Arthur turned around sharply. “What are you two on about?” He snapped. “Can’t I talk to my servant in peace?”

But when Arthur turned around, Merlin was gone.

“Merlin?” Arthur called. He did not reappear.

“Get the physician. Quickly.” One of the guards told the other.

Arthur turned to face them, furious. “You two scared him off!” He grabbed his plate and threw it at the guard on the left. “Why can’t you just leave us be?” Food scattered everywhere and the guard flinched and ducked to one side, making the plate miss him.

The guard on the right advanced towards Arthur quickly, grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back effortlessly. He forced Arthur to his knees. “Go get the king and physician. Tell the other guards outside I’ll need help in here.”

******************************************************************************

“Gaius, you have mixed up concoction after concoction, tried multiple herbal remedies and tinctures and  _ still _ , he’s like this.” Uther said, sounding at his wit’s end. “I need you to be honest with me. Is he ever going to be the way he was before?”

Arthur had been forcefully given yet another strong sleeping draught. His eyes kept closing as he struggled to focus on what his father and Gaius were saying.

“I did suggest a couple of months ago that you should let him out into the fresh air, aided by some guards.” Gaius reminded him. “It would be good for him, mentally.”

“What would be good for him, ‘mentally’ would be getting his old servant out of his head.” Uther snapped. “I cannot risk letting him run around freely and possibly escaping to look for that boy.”

“If he were allowed a bit more freedom-”

“I can’t risk that.”

“-If he could be out in the sunlight, perhaps allowed to resume one or two of his old duties, it would be good for him. In here, he has nothing to do, no one to talk to. It has to be wearing him down.”

There was a bit of silence before Gaius added, “I understand you are afraid of him trying to escape again. But with proper protection from some guards and knights, he could safely wander around outside in the citadel. He could talk to people. It would do nothing but good for him.”

“The guards say he… spoke as if his old servant were here earlier. Do you think he’s…. starting to see things?”

“If that is the case, then the longer he’s forced to stay in here, the worse that will become. For the good of his mental state, you should consider slowly letting him return to his normal life.”

“I will consider your advice, Gaius.” Uther said slowly. “We all want Arthur back. Clearly… this is not the proper way to do it.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin was having breakfast with Eileen. The meal was mostly eaten in silence until Eileen said, “I have some news about that cabin I was telling you about.”

Merlin was immediately intrigued. “Go on?”

“Well, about 4 years ago, our old town physician died.” Eileen began, “And his old cabin has remained empty ever since. And, to be honest, is not in the best shape. So I was talking to some of the other around town, those you’ve helped heal with your own physician’s skill-”

_ Mostly magic,  _ Merlin thought to himself.

“- And they are willing to help you fix up the cabin to move into in the next month or two.”

Merlin couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across his face. “Really? That’d be wonderful! Thank you!”

“Now,” Eileen held up one hand. “I did mention before that it was not in the best shape. It was falling apart when the old physician lived there. And finally, one terrible storm made the roof collapse, and one entire wall fell apart.”

“That wasn’t how he died, was it?” Merlin asked cautiously.

Eileen looked taken aback. “Oh, goodness no! No, he died in his sleep two years previous to that.”

“I see.”

“I can take you and your cousin to look at it later on, if you’d like. Keep in mind, it is very old, and we will help fix it up, and make a new roof and wall for it, if you’re wanting to move in there after seeing it.”

“I would love to see it.” Merlin said. “Honestly, I’m so grateful for the offer to help Artemis and myself get our own housing.”

“You’ve done so much to help us in the few months you’ve lived here. You’ve some great healing skills. You’ve helped us through sickness. And your cousin has helped with so many tasks around the town, and he has benefitted my sister greatly. We are the ones who are grateful to you. You have both done so much for us.”

As strange as it always was to hear people call Artemis his cousin, Merlin was flattered by her gratitude. “I’ll let Artemis know the good news. I know he’ll be thrilled.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur awoke slowly that morning. He sat up, and looked at the table to see if anyone had brought him food.

He blinked in surprise. “Merlin?” He said hesitantly.

His servant was there again, standing beside the table. He smiled at Arthur.

“Merlin!” Arthur started to get out of bed but Merlin held up one hand to stop him. Arthur sat back down, confused. “Merlin, are you really here?”

“Arthur, I need you to find me.”

“But you’re here? Now. Aren’t you?”

Merlin sadly shook his head. “But I want to be. I need you to look for me.”

“I want to.” Arthur insisted. “I’ve thought of nothing else for months.”

“Your father will never let you go as long as you are acting this way.”

“What?”

“The way you are behaving. It’s the actions of a madman.”

“Well what do you expect from me?” Arthur snapped. “They have me locked up like a prisoner. I haven’t been outside this room in ages.”

“You need to change your behavior.” Merlin explained calmly. “You can’t keep refusing food. You can’t keep having these fits and violent outbursts. Your father is reluctant to let you out because of it. You need to start acting like your old self again. Calmer. You have to stop talking about me. You will regain your father’s trust. He’ll give you your freedom. And then-”

“I can look for you.”

Merlin nodded. “I’ll be waiting for you.”

“You’ll come back with me?”

“Of course.” Merlin smiled. “But can you do it? Can you pretend that all of this is behind you, that you’ve forgotten about me?”

“I- I will try.”

“You must, Arthur.” Merlin persisted. “We need to be together again.”

“We will be.” Arthur vowed. “Merlin and Arthur. No one will ever be able to separate us ever again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if this chapter seems oddly paced or rushed. I needed to advance the plot quickly. I have the end planned out for this story at last. I needed a nice time-jump to move things along faster.


	27. Chapter 27

Arthur sat at his table, his breakfast plate now empty, waiting for his father to walk through the door.

King Uther finally made his appearance, looking more stressed than Arthur had seen in a long time. “Arthur.” He said simply. “The guards said you wished to speak with me.”

“Father,” Arthur began the speech he had rehearsed all night, “First and foremost, I wanted to apologize for my actions these past months. You were right. It was not befitting a prince.”

Uther straightened up. “Go on.”

“I behaved irrationally. My outbursts were inexcusable. I understand the stress and anxiety I must have put you through.” Arthur took a deep breath. “My… obsession with my old servant was beyond inappropriate and unseemly. I’m not sure why I took his absence so hard, and for so long. I admit it took a while for your words to fully sink in, but you were right. He was- He was just a servant. He is replaceable. I should have listened to you before when you were trying to make me understand.”

Uther looked like the weight of a thousand years had just been lifted, like those were the best words Arthur could have ever spoken. “I have to admit, your fixation on that boy was… troubling to me to say the least. I was starting to fear that possibly…” Uther swallowed, and if Arthur hadn’t known any better, he would have thought Uther sounded embarrassed when he said, “I was beginning to fear… a relationship had formed between you two. And… that’s why you took it so hard when he left-”

“Father, no.” Arthur held up one hand. “You should know me better than that.”

“It’s always been your duty to one day marry for the good of the kingdom, to forge a strong alliance and produce heirs Camelot could count on to continue it’s legacy for generations.”

“I have always known my duty, Father. I could never lose sight of it. Not in that way. I know that my recent actions have dishonored this kingdom. I have not been the prince and future ruler this kingdom needs. I want to start getting back on track. I hope you would trust me enough to let me slowly resume some of my old duties. I understand where you might hesitate,” Arthur added quickly. “I will gladly accept the pace that you set for me to get back to normal.”

“Arthur, I could not have hoped for such a turnabout as this.” Uther approached him and Arthur stood, allowing his father to embrace him. He could count on one hand the number of times Uther had embraced him. “I am so glad you are seeing reason.”

Uther released him and pulled away, a smile on his face. “I will speak to Gaius, and tell him this news. I will heed his advice on getting you properly back on track.”

“Thank you, Father.”

“I will see you later today.” Uther headed for the door, turning back on last time to look at his son with some cautious hope and pride.

Uther shut the door behind himself. Arthur turned and looked where his Merlin was standing, beside his bed.

“Thank you for helping me practice what to say.” Arthur told the vision. “I believe that was an excellent start.”

Merlin winked at him.

******************************************************************************

Robin stirred the cast iron pot one final time before scooping out some stew into a bowl.

He set the first bowl down at the table before dishing out his own.

He made sure the table looked the way it should, remembering to set out the small dish of salt, placing the spoons beside the bowls of stew, and not in it, like Simon preferred.

Robin observed that everything looked good, and then went outside onto the porch.

“Simon? Dinner is ready.” He said to the man sitting in the rocking chair, slightly rocking it back and forth lazily with one foot.

Simon turned and looked at him. Robin felt his stomach do a flip as he stood up.

Simon was not much taller than Robin, maybe only by a couple of inches. But he  _ seemed  _ so much larger than Robin. Simon had been a blacksmith for the past six years, since he was nineteen, and he had the build and muscle to prove it. Robin often found himself staring at the way his muscle strained through his sleeves, at how firm and solid his chest and abdomen was. He sometimes let his thoughts dwell on the thought of being wrapped up in those arms, held against that solid, warm chest-

“Right. I’m starving.” Simon said to Robin, putting an arm around his shoulders and going inside with him. “Did you use all the spices I suggested?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Oh, you already dished it out? Thank you, Robin.” Robin smiled at the light praise.

Simon sat at the table. “Oh, could you get me some mead, please? Been thinking about a tall cup of mead all day.”

Robin felt his stomach drop a little. He’d completely forgotten the drinks. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. Sorry.”

Simon took a bite of the stew and sat back in his chair. “Oh that’s lovely.” He said after swallowing. “Just what I needed after today.”

Robin poured him a cup of mead before pouring himself one. Simon lifted his glass in a sort of ‘cheers’ motion and then drank. “Couldn’t ask for a better end to the day.” He sighed before taking another bite of stew.

Robin sat finally and started devouring his own bowl. They ate in silence until Simon finished and pushed his bowl away and leaned back in his chair. “Thank you, Robin.” He said.

“Let me put your bowl away. Or, did you want another?” Robin started to stand and Simon motioned for him to sit back down.

“Finish your food, Robin.” He said, sounding amused. “I’ll clean my own bowl in a bit.”

“I’ll clean them both at the same time after I finish.” Robin offered. “As well as the cups.”

“You’ve done the dishes practically every night since you’ve stayed with me.” Simon said. “Just, take a night, alright? It won’t be the end of the world if I wash my own dirty dishes.”

“If that’s what you prefer, sire- er… Simon.” Robin flushed red at his slip up and took a quick bite of stew, hoping Simon wouldn’t note it.

Simon observed him in silence for a minute before saying, “I know I say this a lot, but you’re very odd, Robin.”

“Sorry.”

“I wasn’t asking for an apology. And you also apologize a lot. Did you know that?”

“Sor- Um.” Robin stopped himself. “Yeah. I know.”

“I’m really appreciative of the help you’ve provided me with these past few months. You do so much around the house for me. I don’t think my house has been this clean in a couple of years.”

“Well, you do a lot at the forge. You don’t have time to constantly clean.”

“Like I said, I like that you do that. But you act like you’re my servant instead of a housemate.”

Robin had never actually told Simon he’d been a servant for years. This behavior was second nature to him. Actually, maybe even first nature…

“It sometimes feels like you’re almost… I don’t want to use the word ‘grovelling’... but yeah. You seem so nervous.”

“I just want to make sure I’m doing a good job for you, Simon.” Robin said, trying to give an easy smile and failing.

“Honestly, as long as you keep doing my laundry and sweeping my floors, you can act any way you please.” Simon joked. “No need for the subservient attitude.”

“I’ll make a note of it.”

Simon drank his second cup of mead slowly, looking at the edge of the table like he was thinking. Robin finished his bowl of stew but continued to sit awkwardly at the table, unsure of what to do next.

“I feel like you’ve been even more off these past few weeks.” Simon said at last. “Not that you’ve ever been normal,” he added with a wry smile. Then he frowned again. “I can’t help but feel it’s because of me.”

“No! No, it’s nothing to do with you.”

“Still. I feel bad. I felt like… I had tried to force you to open up about something and you clearly aren’t ready to tell me-”

“Simon,” Robin insisted. “I said it was fine then, and it was.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**_Two weeks previously_ **

_ Robin dipped his hand in the now-warm water and dried his hand on a rag. “It’s ready. I have your soap here for you. Your towel is on the table.” Robin said to Simon. _

_ “Fantastic. Thank you.” Simon grabbed his washcloth and wet it in the water that had been heating up in the cast iron pot. He didn’t own a proper tub, and when the weather was cold, it was better just to heat up a small amount of water, wipe down, scrub up, and then wipe down again with a clean, wet cloth. _

_ “You going to wash up, too?” Simon asked. “I have plenty of cloths and towels.” _

_ “Oh, I’ll just… use the stream tomorrow or something.” Robin said awkwardly. _

_ Simon blinked at him. “The stream is nearly iced over. Are you trying to catch your death out there?” _

_ “I can just heat some more water tomorrow then. This batch is for you.” _

_ Simon rolled his eyes. “Can you not act weird for just one minute?” He asked. “We have the stuff ready now. Just get clean now instead of putting it off.” _

_ Simon took his shirt off and Robin couldn’t help but stare for a few seconds before uneasily taking his own shirt off. _

I bet I look ridiculous standing next to him _ , Robin thought. _

_ Simon handed him a new cloth and Robin wet it while Simon lathered up his own cloth in the soap and handed it off to Robin. Simon started scrubbing himself down while Robin slowly lathered his own cloth in the soap. _

_ He realized he was staring at Simon again, so he turned away and quickly washed his chest and arms. _

_ Another minute passed in silence. Robin started rinsing himself off when he felt Simon gently touch his lower back. “And what happened here?” He asked softly. _

_ Robin spun around, hand over where Simon had been touching. “What?” _

_ “You’ve got a long scar across your back there.” Simon went behind him and looked again. “And another one, right above it to the right.” _

_ Robin felt lightheaded, but he forced himself to answer. “I don’t know. I didn’t know that was there.” He lied. _

_ Truthfully, it was one of the many scars Prince Arthur had given him during their time together. More than likely from the belt. _

_ “Here’s another.” Simon touched near his shoulder blade. “Looks almost identical to the ones below it.” _

_ Robin froze as Simon turned him around to face him. Simon’s eyes flicked all over Robin’s chest and stomach. “Another one.” He said finally, touching Robin’s side. He looked Robin directly in the eyes. “Is this why you never wash up with me? Because you don’t want me to see these?” _

_ Robin opened his mouth to answer, but the words got stuck. _

_ “Robin, please answer me truthfully.” Simon used his strong grip on Robin’s shoulders. “Where did you come from before you came here? Were you…” Simon inhaled. “Did you escape from a slave trade or something? Is that what you were before you came here?” _

_ “No!” Robin said, shocked. _

_ “Then why do you behave like you do? And these scars, they look like they came from a whip or something. They’re all almost identical.” _

_ “I don’t want to talk about it.” Robin worked his way out of Simon’s grip. “It doesn’t matter where I came from. I’m here now. I live with you. I don’t… I don’t like to think about the past. So please don’t ask me about it.” _

_ “Robin, I know next to nothing about you.” Simon said, exasperated. “You showed up one night trying to hide in my stables-” _

_ “I told you then, I was desperate for shelter from the storm.” _

_“-And you refused to tell me where you came from,_ **why** _you had no food or money, or belongings. And I let you stay with me. And now, a couple of months later, you still act strangely, you act like you expect to be attacked at any moment, your body language tells me you’re nervous and anxious pretty much constantly.” Simon made Robin look at him when Robin tried to look away. “Where did you come from? Why are you like this?”_

_ “Please. I don’t want to talk about it.” _

_ “You promise you’re not an escaped slave or anything like that?” _

_ “No, I was never a slave.” _

_ “Why do you have scars like that?” _

_ “Stop asking me questions, I said I don’t want to talk about it!” Robin backed up and bumped into the corner of the table. _

_ Simon held up his hands in front of him. “I’m sorry.” He backed up away from Robin. “I crossed a line. I apologize.” _

_ Robin’s hip stung from where he’d hit it on the corner of the table. “It’s fine.” _

_ “I just… I’m very curious about your story. And when I saw the scars-” _

_ “I don’t want to tell you my past. At least, not yet.” Robin added. “It’s still very painful for me.” _

_ “But you’ll tell me one day?” _

_ “Yeah. Yeah, one day. I’ll probably tell you.” _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

“You promise you’re not upset with me over that?” Simon asked.

“I’ve barely given it a second thought.” Robin lied. In truth, while he wasn’t upset anymore from Simon’s prying questions, he was nervous Simon might start questioning him again at some point, and might not relent until Robin told him about his past. He dreaded talking about it. Not just because he didn’t like thinking about the prince, he was scared Simon would pity him. It was the last thing he wanted. He didn’t deserve pity. Robin knew what to expect every time he went to the prince’s chambers. He had willingly showed up every night, despite knowing what the prince would do with him. And he even lured an innocent boy to the prince and almost got him hurt. He couldn’t feel pity for himself. And he would hate it if Simon felt pity for him.

Robin offered to help Simon get ready for bed, and Simon turned down the offer. “Get yourself ready for bed, Robin.” He said. “I’ll clean off the table and get my own self ready.”

Robin went behind the changing curtain and got dressed for bed. There hadn’t been a need for a changing curtain until Robin moved in. He simply told Simon he was very shy about changing in front of others, so Simon got him the curtain and set it up in the corner of his house.

Robin peeled off his breeches and felt the usual twist in his stomach at seeing the array of scars the prince had given him on his thighs. They stood out, impossible to ignore.

Robin pulled on the new pair of breeches, then put on his nightshirt.

Robin crawled into bed and waited.

Simon finished the dishes quickly, then took off his shirt, tossing it to the side. Robin averted his gaze as Simon changed into a more comfortable pair of breeches.

Simon blew out all the candles and got into bed, settling in behind Robin.

“You sure you’re still okay with this?” Simon whispered to him.

“Yeah, of course.” Robin tried to ignore the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. He inhaled slowly when Simon’s arm rested on his waist.

“This doesn’t have to be a part of it. I can always bring out the spare pallet if you ever change your mind.”

“I won’t.”

Simon pressed his nose against the back of Robin’s neck. “Good.” He said quietly. “I’d miss you if you ever did.”

Simon pressed his hand against Robin’s chest, pressing him in even tighter.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Mm?” Simon responded.

“How was it for you? When you knew you liked men?” Robin whispered.

“About the same as it was for you, I imagine.” Simon said, after a moment’s thought. “Bit confused. Some denial. I knew I liked women, so I ignored men for some time. Just tried to force myself not to notice them as well.”

“But I don’t feel anything for women.”

“So maybe it wasn’t quite the same for you.” Simon conceded. “But for me, it was a lot of denial until I found someone I couldn’t resist my feelings for. Then I had to admit it to myself.”

“Did you ever hate yourself because of it?”

“Hate? Hm. Hate is a strong word for it. No, I was mainly nervous when I started realizing it and tried squashing that part of myself down deep.”

“Oh.”

They were both silent for a moment.

“Thank you… for everything.” Robin said at last.

“What do you mean?”

“For… giving me a place to stay. For not turning me out when you caught me basically stealing from you and trying to hide in your stables that night-”

“Funny how catching you eating my horse’s feed and drinking stable water is still not the weirdest thing I’ve seen you do.” Simon half-joked.

Robin smiled despite himself. “And for, you know…” Robin blushed a little. “Agreeing to take things slow with me.”

“Of course.”

“How did you figure out I liked men too?”

“Well, Robin, the staring was quite the giveaway, if we’re being honest.” Simon said. “Also, I could just tell. Everything about your demeanor basically screamed that you were attracted to me after a while. Don’t know if that makes me sound conceited or anything, but I was spot on, at least.”

“Yeah.” Robin tentatively tried to cover Simon’s hand with his own, always amazed at the size difference. Robin’s hands looked tiny compared to Simon’s.

_ He could snap me in half, I bet. _ Robin thought.

“Am I your first relationship?” Simon asked.

“Yes. Well… kind of.” Robin wasn’t sure if he and the prince had really been in a ‘relationship’.

“Kind of?”

“I guess there was  _ sort of  _ somebody. At one point.”

“Tell me about him.”

“I don’t like speaking about it.” Robin admitted quietly. “He wasn’t good to me…”

“Oh.” Simon paused. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. I was silly to get into a relationship with him, and stupid to stay.”

“Don’t say that. We all make mistakes when we are younger.”

Robin was about to say this was mere months ago, and then stopped himself. He nodded instead. “That we do.” He agreed.

“Am I better than him?”

“A thousand times better.” Robin confirmed.

“More handsome?”

Robin laughed a bit. “Yes.”

“Good.” Simon ran his fingers along Robin’s collarbone. “So how did you finally end the relationship? Or did he?”

“Bit of both, I guess.”

“Mutual decision?”

“....Yeah.”

“Hm. Well it sounds like it was a clean break at least.”

Robin almost wanted to laugh. If only Simon knew…

But he’d also be mortified if Simon knew. If Simon knew the entire story about how Robin used to enjoy being the outlet for a prince’s anger and twisted tendencies. If he knew that even when Robin stopped wanting it and wanted to leave, he stayed because he was foolish enough to believe the prince might one day want him after all, and give him the love and attention Robin desperately craved.

If Simon knew that Robin tricked someone into meeting with the prince, and was going to stand by and watch the prince do whatever he wanted to that innocent person… Simon would be so disgusted with Robin if he ever knew. If he ever found out that even after finding out that the prince had committed an atrocity against that person once before, and was determined to do it again to satisfy his warped sense of justice, Robin still hesitated to leave him, and it almost got him killed.

If Simon knew all of that… What kind of a person Robin truly was… he would not have Robin in his home, in his bed, holding him like he had been night after night, for nearly a month. Robin would be gone in a heartbeat, again with no food, or extra clothes, or money.

It would be better for them both if Simon never found out Robin’s story, no matter how curious he must be.

******************************************************************************

**SIX WEEKS LATER**

Artemis had to make himself sit down and stop pacing, waiting for Merlin to come get him.

The cabin was nearly ready to be moved into now, and while he had been helping throughout the weeks, Merlin requested he stay behind for the final day, and let Merlin sort out the final details as a surprise for him. As sweet as it was, Artemis was now wishing he’d insisted on being there when they moved their things in. The wait was maddening.

He sat on the rug in front of the fireplace. Colleen was out with Merlin, getting the final touches done on their cabin. He kind of wished she’d stayed behind. Not only was the cold weather bad for her, but Artemis wanted someone to keep him company.

The sun started to set and Artemis was growing concerned. How was it not ready yet? He hadn’t seen Merlin since early this morning. Surely they would be wrapping up soon.

He threw another log onto the fire just as the door opened. Artemis spun around and grinned when he saw Merlin.

Merlin looked like he was barely holding his excitement in. “It’s ready for us, my love.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis was almost overwhelmed at the sight of the cabin. Yesterday, it had been nearly bare. Today they had a table, two chairs, even some pots and pans hanging from the wall. The fireplace was blazing, a nice stack of wood beside it. Near the fire, their pallets laid side by side. There were herbs and some other dried fruits and meats hanging along with walls. At the very back of the cabin, there was a trunk, and Artemis imagined it probably held some of their personal belongings. He briefly wondered if the quartz crystal was in there. He hadn’t seen it since they moved to the town. He assumed Merlin still had it tucked away in his own things, where it was unlikely to be found on accident by someone.

“Sorry it took so long to be ready.” Merlin looked apologetic. “Ulfrid made us the table and was finishing it up today and he got delayed. I wanted to make sure every last little thing was in place before I came to get you.”

Artemis was in awe at the fact that the townspeople were so willing to help out with their new home. They had really outdone themselves.

“I got some new traps and set them out earlier today. Hopefully we’ll have some fresh meat tomorrow for our breakfast-”

Artemis went over to Merlin and interrupted him with a kiss, throwing his arms up around his lover’s neck, pulling away and smiling delightedly at him.

_ You’ve done it,  _ Artemis thought,  _ you promised me a home with you and you’ve given it to me. _

“You like our new home, my sweet?” Merlin pressed the tip of his nose to Artemis’. “You’re happy?”

Even if he could speak, words would not be able to express all of Artemis’ happiness. He kissed Merlin again, embracing him tightly.  _ We finally have a home. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis couldn’t sleep that night. He tried getting out from under the covers, cuddling up to Merlin, turning onto his back, side, stomach… Nothing was helping him fall asleep.

He got up, and went over to the trunk. He opened it up, hoping to see the gemstone. He frowned when it looked to be mostly blankets and clothes inside.

Artemis stuck his hand inside, moving it all around, hoping to bump into the hard shape of the crystal.

He sat back, devastated and dumbfounded. Had Merlin tossed it out? Or was it still hidden away in the cabin somewhere?

He wanted… he wanted to see his father one last time. He’d hoped the crystal might show him another vision, no matter how brief it might be…

The last time he’d seen any dream or image of his father was months ago, when they first arrived in the town and were staying at the inn.

He couldn’t stand the fact that the last dream he’d had about his father… was of his death.

Artemis was devastated and listless for days after he’d had that dream. He cursed himself for wanting to find out what had happened to his father. He wished he could go back to blissful ignorance.

He knew his father was a hunter from previous dreams and images in the crystal. He seemed to be quite a fine one at that. Artemis had had one dream where his father showed him the pelts from the animals he’d killed and promised to take him hunting as soon as Artemis was old enough.

Artemis, for some reason, had the vague idea that his tall, mighty father, who was built like a warrior and exuded leadership and power, had been killed in some kind of a battle, perhaps. Maybe he had enlisted in the king’s army or died defending his village in some way.

He did not expect to find out that his father had been killed by a bear.

A common woodland animal.

It had followed him for quite a ways, catching him by surprise. Artemis wanted to wake up the second he saw the bear rise up and strike him down before his father could even raise his crossbow in time.

Instead, he was forced to see the attack, the villagers eventually finding his father’s corpse, bringing the body back to the village and informing Artemis’ mother of her husband’s untimely death.

As long as Artemis lived, he would never be able to get the sound of horror and devastation his mother made when she heard the news out of his mind.

The dream showed young Artemis, barely over the age of three, being shielded from what was going on, taken to a safe place while his mother mourned and grieved.

Artemis was awoken by Merlin at last, and his lover comforted him after his dream. Artemis couldn’t bring himself to write down what he had dreamt about that had him so upset and morose for days. It wouldn’t do his heartbreak justice.

“Artemis?”

Artemis jumped and looked over at Merlin, who was propped up on one elbow, looking at him tiredly.

“Something wrong?” Merlin asked groggily.

Artemis shook his head.

“Oh, are you cold? Getting a blanket?”

Artemis was about to shake his head again until he realized it would lead to more questions of what exactly he was doing.

So he just nodded and grabbed a random blanket from the trunk, shut the lid and got back in bed with Merlin.

Merlin spooned him and was back asleep within minutes. Artemis laid awake for quite some time, wondering if he should just go ahead and ask to see the crystal one last time, or if he should keep looking for it in secret.

_ Would Merlin be mad at me if he knew I had used the crystal? _ Even as he thought it, he knew Merlin had never been truly angry at him before, so there was no reason why finding out that Artemis knew of and had used the crystal without his knowledge would make him mad.

_ Maybe I’ll ask him tomorrow. Maybe he’ll let me see it again. _

******************************************************************************

“My father is treating me like a simpleton.” Arthur grumbled.

His Merlin stood at the foot of his bed, where Arthur had sprawled out.

“I don’t think that’s true.” Merlin assured him.

“He talks about me to the others like I’m a trained dog.” Arthur insisted. “‘Look, Arthur is training again! Look, he’s doing a patrol in the lower town!’ I feel insulted by the way he talks about me to others.”

“He’s just pleased at your recovery.” Merlin said.

“As soon as he fully trusts me again, I’m off. I’ll need a good alibi for leaving, however. That way he doesn’t immediately send the knights looking for me.”

“Plenty of time for that.” Merlin told him.

Arthur stared at his Merlin for a bit. “Come to bed with me?” He held out one hand in hopes Merlin would take it.

Merlin gave him a wistful smile. “You know I can’t. But I’ll be in your dreams with you, as I always am.”

“Promise?”

“Of course.” And just like that, he was gone again.

Arthur stared up at the ceiling for quite some time before drifting off into sleep, seeing his Merlin waiting for him.


	28. Chapter 28

Artemis awoke alone on his first official day at his and Merlin’s new home. He looked around for Merlin, checking outside as well, and couldn’t find him.

He went back inside and looked on the table to find a note. He opened it.

_ Artemis, _

_ Colleen feeling ill. I’m bringing her some medicine. Will be back in a few hours. _

Artemis felt a bunch of anxiety he hadn’t been aware was weighing on him fall off of his shoulders. Merlin would be back soon, then, assuming he had left some time ago.

Artemis decided Merlin might be hungry by the time he got back. He grabbed a bucket and went outside to fill it up in the stream. He then started a fire in the fireplace, hanging the cast iron pot over it. He waited until it was good and hot and then dumped the water from the stream in the pot.

Artemis waited patiently until it was boiling, then salted the water, grabbing a sack of beans and a sack of mixed grain, dumping in a good amount of both into the boiling water.

Artemis considered the dried herbs for a moment, before deciding on one, finely chopping it up and tossing it in for some extra flavor. He wished they had some meat besides the dried kind hanging on one of the walls. Rabbit would taste excellent in this. He sighed. There was always tomorrow, provided their traps were going to catch something.

Artemis grabbed his journal that Merlin had gifted him on his birthday and the quill and ink and wrote out, ‘ _ Wite kristil. Where is it?’. _

He stared at his own words, trying to decide if it was a good time to question Merlin about it. Surely Merlin would want to know how and when Artemis had discovered it, and why he wanted to see it again.

He was still trying to decide when the door opened and Merlin came in.

Artemis smiled immediately at him and set the journal face-down and open on the table, getting up to greet him.

“It’s so warm in here.” Merlin gave him a kiss, still taking his jacket off. “Are you cooking?”

Artemis nodded and gave him a quick hug.

“Oh, lovely.” Merlin went over to the fire and peeked into the pot. “Looks delicious. Can’t wait til it's done.” He looked at Artemis apologetically. “Sorry I was gone when you woke up. Colleen was apparently having coughing fits and trouble breathing, so her son came and got me and I treated her. She’s doing fine now, not to worry. The tincture and ointment I gave her for her chest really helped.”

Artemis was glad to hear it. Colleen had been like a mother to him the entire time he had lived with her. He had been glad to do chores for her in exchange for shelter and even some literacy lessons. He also got the feeling she was a bit lonely. She was only middle-aged but both of her sons were fully grown with families of their own, and land to look after, so they couldn’t visit her as often as she would have liked. Artemis was there for her to listen to her stories or gossip about the other townspeople. And also to take care of her or get Merlin for her medicine when her lungs were acting up and she was feeling unwell.

“She spent a lot of time outside yesterday helping to get the cabin ready.” Merlin stirred the food as he spoke. “I think the cold air aggravated her condition.”

Artemis stood next to him and leaned against him. Merlin set the ladle across the top of the pot and put one arm around Artemis. “You didn’t miss me too terribly, I hope.” He said softly, giving Artemis a soft kiss on the side of the head.

Artemis cuddled in closer as a response. Merlin hadn’t been gone for too long, but it was still disconcerting waking up alone when he had been expecting/looking forward to waking up in his lover’s arms.

“I was going to wake you before I left, but you were sleeping so soundly I felt bad.” Merlin explained, sounding guilty. “I will wake you up next time I have to leave early, if you’d like.”

Artemis nodded. Merlin looked towards the bed. “Did you sleep well?”

Artemis nodded again.

“Bit hard to sleep, though, wasn’t it? I had a hard time falling asleep. Maybe we should see about stuffing a mattress for ourselves instead.”

Artemis liked that idea. His back had ached terribly after he’d woken up.

“Thought about you the whole time I was gone.” Merlin faced him, draping his arms on Artemis’ shoulders. “You looked so perfect and beautiful while you were sleeping. I didn’t want to leave you.” Merlin tugged on Artemis’ bottom lip with his thumb. “How about after we eat, I make it up to you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis stood next to the fireplace, clothes off, with just a blanket wrapped around his waist. Merlin was taking his sweet time, just admiring the sight, as he stripped off his own clothes and dropped them unceremoniously to the side, approaching Artemis with pure lust in his eyes.

Artemis opened the blanket up once Merlin got close enough and dropped it to the ground. He felt a surge of want go straight to his cock when Merlin got down on his knees and lifted Artemis’ cock with one finger, admiring it before pressing a kiss to the tip.

Merlin rubbed the half-hard length of it against his cheekbone while Artemis ran his fingers through his silky, dark hair.

“There was a man once,” Merlin said out of nowhere, still rubbing Artemis’ cock against his skin. “Back in Camelot, a few weeks before I met you. He was one of the knights. He was very interested in me. He said he liked seeing me work when I was doing my chores for Arthur. He got drunk at a feast and was bold enough to ask me for a favor. He took me into an empty room after I agreed to suck him off.” He looked up at Artemis to gauge his reaction. “I’m not usually one for being treated harshly, but dear gods… he absolutely dominated me. My throat hurt for hours afterwards. I’ve been thinking about that time.” Merlin glanced down. “And I was curious… if you were feeling up to it… if you would do that to me?”

Artemis was surprised to hear such a dirty story come from Merlin so freely. He looked at Merlin’s full, pink mouth and considered what Merlin had just said.

It was a surprisingly tempting idea. Although he wasn’t sure how to go about it properly, and he certainly didn’t want to hurt Merlin, he was happy to oblige any of Merlin’s wants.

Artemis gently pulled Merlin’s hand off of his cock and held it by the base, dragging the head torturously slow across Merlin’s bottom lip. Merlin kept his eyes open and Artemis took his chin in his free hand and encouraged him to open his mouth.

Merlin groaned and tilted his head back as Artemis slid the length of his cock against his tongue, thrusting in and out at a steady pace. The wetness on the underside of his cock and the heat from Merlin’s mouth was exhilarating.

Artemis gently patted Merlin’s chin and Merlin closed his lips around Artemis’ cock. Artemis sighed with pleasure at the heat now encompassing his arousal.

Trusting Merlin to do something if Artemis goes too far or hurts him, Artemis pushes in, feeling the tip hit the back of Merlin’s throat.

He continues like this for a minute, pulling out until even the head was barely between Merlin’s lips, pushing back in and touching the back of Merlin’s throat.

Merlin leans back after a while, popping Artemis’ cock out of his mouth. “Harder. Please.” He requested before sliding his mouth right back over Artemis’ cock.

Artemis felt an unexpected jolt of lust go straight to his arousal as he obliged. He quickened the pace, hitting the back of Merlin’s throat harder, paying attention to Merlin’s sounds and body language as much as he could through his own haze of pleasure.

His cock is getting more and more slick with Merlin’s drool, making obscene sounds as he moves in and out, accompanied by the slurping sounds Merlin is making as he fervently and dutifully sucks. Artemis has his hands on either side of Merlin’s head, or sometimes just one on the back of his head, thrusting in and out, listening to the choking and sucking sounds emitting from Merlin. He never would have thought it would sound so lovely to hear Merlin choke on his cock like this.

He presses the head of his cock to the back of Merlin’s throat once more, pushing against it with more pressure. Merlin tilts his head back further and Artemis slides into his throat with a gasp.

He slides back out quickly, scared of hurting Merlin, but Merlin is humming his pleasure and his eyes are hazy with desire.

Artemis slides into his throat again. And again. And again. Merlin suddenly pulls off, gasping for air. Artemis concernedly cupped his face with both hands, looking at him, silently trying to apologize if he went too fast or too hard.

“I’m fine.” Merlin’s voice is hoarse. He takes several deep breaths. “I want to do it again.”

Artemis slides his cock right back into Merlin’s mouth, unable and unwilling to deny his plea.

He’s pushing himself right back into Merlin’s throat, relishing in the tight heat and the way Merlin’s throat constricts around it.

Praying Merlin won’t run out of breath again, Artemis feels his climax approaching. He locks eyes with Merlin, who looks so incredibly far gone, lost in his own sea of rapture. And Artemis shoves himself into Merlin’s throat one last time and reaches his peak.

He goes still, shuddering and gasping as Merlin constricts around him. Artemis finishes, almost reluctantly sliding out and leaning back against the wall in exhaustion.

He looks down, and Merlin is still out of breath, his face flushed, hand wrapped around his own cock, pumping it, head tilted tiredly towards the floor.

Artemis kneels down, reaching for Merlin’s arousal, asking permission to help.

“No, no no no no.” Merlin says. “Let me. By myself.”

Artemis understands and stands back up, drinking in the delicious sight of Merlin pleasuring himself.

Before he knows it, Merlin is crying out and his seed splatters against Artemis’ left shin and ankle, the rest of it splattering to the floor around his feet.

Merlin sits back onto the floor. “Gods.” He croaks out. “That was so amazing.”

Artemis had to agree. He had never before considered doing that to Merlin. He never thought Merlin would like it so much if he  _ had  _ ever contemplated it before.

Merlin sits there for a moment. “Did you like it?” He finally asked.

Artemis nodded without a second thought.

“I’m glad.” Merlin stood up shakily. “I’ll clean up my mess. I just need some water first.”

Artemis didn’t doubt it. He watched Merlin get dressed, not bothering with a jacket as he grabbed a bucket and went outside to the stream.

When he returned, he dipped a cup into the frigid water in the bucket and drank his fill.

As Artemis went to grab a cloth to dip into the water so he could clean up, he saw Merlin eyeing his journal on the table.

As soon as Merlin touched it, presumably to read the page Artemis had left open, Artemis panicked, rushing over and snatching the journal away.

“I wasn’t going to read it.” Merlin frowned. Artemis wasn’t sure if he believed him. “I was going to close it, that’s all. It’s bad for the binding of the book to keep it face-down and open like that.”

Artemis put the book away. He didn’t want to show Merlin his question. Not now. Not so soon after the experience that they just had together. It was no longer a good time.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin said. Artemis looked back at him. “I would never invade your privacy like that. Promise.”

Artemis gave a small smile to show everything was fine. He kissed Merlin softly, his lover’s mouth still flushed and swollen.

“It was incredible, wasn’t it? What we just did.” Merlin exhaled slowly. “I haven’t done anything like that in forever.”

Artemis nuzzled his jaw.

“You were perfect. You did everything I wanted.” Merlin smiled at Artemis. “Thank you.”

******************************************************************************

“I laundered your clothes and exercised your horse today, Simon.” Robin said, sitting at their table, watching Simon prepare dinner.

“Thanks.”

“I don’t mind preparing dinner for us.”

“I’ve already started it, Robin. Relax.” Simon sprinkled the cuts of chicken with some salt and dried herbs.

“But you’ve had such a long day at the forge, and I feel like I’ve barely done anything at all today.”

“I’m telling you it’s okay.” Simon put the chicken over the fire. “How many times do I have to tell you that we work together and you’re not my servant?”

“Sorry.” Robin clasped his hands in his lap.

Simon washed his hands and dried them on a towel. “I feel like I’m in a relationship with a housemaid.” He joked. Robin cracked a small smile. “Is the mead chilling?”

“It is.”

“Perfect. Been looking forward to it all day.” Simon checked on the chicken before going over to Robin, standing over him. “You’d make a fantastic housemaid for someone, I have to say. Feels almost like I should be paying you.”

“Stop teasing me.” Robin smiled. “Don’t you like your house being clean and your clothes washed regularly?”

“Oh, I do. But circling back to the whole ‘unpaid housemaid’ thing.” Simon pulled Robin’s chair forward, bracing his hands on the back of the chair and leaning down, making Robin look up at him. “How should I pay you?”

“Um. You… don’t? I mean, you shouldn’t. I live here too, so-”

“Robin.” Simon interrupted. “I’m asking you, how should I  _ repay  _ you for all the work you’ve done for me?” He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“... Are you offering to give me something in exchange?” Robin asked confusedly.

Simon sighed and straightened up, letting go of the chair. “Alright, let’s try this another way.”

Robin yelped as Simon pulled him up out of the chair and pulled him tightly to his chest. Before Robin even knew what was happening, Simon was kissing him with great passion and need, taking Robin’s breath away.

Robin felt almost dizzy when Simon pulled away, grabbing Robin under his chin and looking into his face very seriously. “I can’t let such fantastic work go unnoticed.” Simon nearly purred. “What can I do to repay such loyal service all these months?”

“The kissing is fantastic.” Robin blurted out without thinking. “I like that.”

“Hm. Well we do that quite a bit already, don’t we?” Simon said, as if he were thinking about it. “If we’re being honest, I’d  _ love  _ to offer up something a little more… intriguing.”

Robin hadn’t even noticed one of Simon’s hands wandering until it was cupping his breeches. He squeaked, and then turned red because he squeaked.

Simon laughed a little. “Is that something you would want?” He said in a low, sensuous tone. “Believe me, I’m  _ more  _ than willing to go a bit further with you, if you would allow it.”

Robin didn’t even think about it. He nodded his head and before he knew it, Simon was snatching him up into his arms and carrying him to bed.

It was nothing out of the ordinary, having Simon on top of him, kissing him with such intensity that Robin couldn’t even think straight. But Simon’s wandering hands were something new. Previously, he stuck to petting above the waist, probably sensing Robin’s nervousness to go much further than making out. Now Simon was rubbing his palm over Robin’s clothed arousal, the other hand going under his shirt.

Robin moaned loudly into Simon’s mouth when he felt Simon roughly pinch and pull at a nipple. Simon chuckled a bit. “Oh you liked that.” He said, doing it again and watching Robin arch up and moan again.

Robin took off his shirt and Simon did the same. Robin found himself fascinated once again by Simon’s physique, never growing tired of seeing his Herculean form bare in front of him. He ran his hand over the solid abs, going up and over his strong chest, and finally running his fingertips down Simon’s muscular arms.

“You like that, do you?” Simon sounded amused.

“Yeah. I really do.” Robin agreed, making Simon give an affectionate chuckle.

When Robin felt Simon start to untie his breeches, he panicked. “Um. Wait.” He said, shoving Simon’s hands away.

“What’s wrong?” Simon asked softly.

Robin felt his chest tighten up. “It’s just, I don’t think I can. Not yet.” He said. If Simon saw those scars on his legs, he was done for. It would be a neverending barrage of questions that Robin wasn’t ready to answer.

“I’m not asking you to go all the way.” Simon said gently, placing a reassuring hand on Robin’s chest to soothe him. “I know it would be your first time. And I know that must be nerve wracking and I’d never try to talk you into that if you weren’t completely ready. All I want to do is give you a bit of pleasure, if you’d let me.”

“Like- like with your hand or something?”

Simon smiled. “Yeah. Like with my hand or something.” He said.

“Okay. Yes. I can do that. I think.”

Simon started to untie his breeches once more.

“Wait!” Robin said.

“What is it?”

“Can I untie them myself? It’s just I don’t want my breeches completely off. Could I just do it myself and pull my breeches down to where I’m comfortable?”

“Of course you can.” Simon pulled back a bit and Robin unlaced his breeches, slightly pulling them apart and down off his hips just a little, so Simon had enough access but wouldn’t be able to see the beginnings of the scars.

He wondered why Simon was staring at first until he realized Simon hadn’t seen anything below his waist yet.

“Well aren’t you quite the beauty?” Simon said appreciatively, taking in the sight of Robin’s cock. Robin was quite sure how he felt about Simon’s sentiment, but he didn’t say anything.

Simon gave it a quick stroke, making Robin gasp and jerk his hips up. “Oh, you’re sensitive.” Simon teased. “That’s good.”

“Is it?” Robin asked before gasping as Simon squeezed his arousal gently once.

“Of course. It’s more fun to watch.” Simon started stroking him up and down and Robin forgot what he was going to say.

Robin laid his head back against the pillows and let the waves of pleasure wash over him, making his mind go blank.

Simon really knew what he was doing. Robin’s hips wouldn’t stop twitching and his toes curled in pleasure. He lifted his head up briefly and felt another jolt go through him at seeing Simon’s large fist encompassing his cock, sliding up and over the head, dragging up the foreskin with it, and then back down, exposing the dark pink cockhead once more, causing a bit of precome to spurt out onto Robin’s stomach.

“Oh.” Robin said, his head falling back again.

“That’s it.” Simon encouraged him. “You liking it?”

“Yes.  _ Oh gods _ .” Robin’s leg jerked up when Simon’s free hand roughly pinched his nipple again. “Yes. More of that, please.”

“Feels good, does it?”

“Yes.” Robin said. “Harder.” He begged before he even knew what he was saying. Simon obliged, and Robin stifled his cry by shoving his hand into his mouth, biting down.

“Like it a bit rough, do you?” Simon said with a wicked smile.

Robin didn’t reply. Simon pulled Robin’s hand away from his mouth and shoved three of his fingers inside in their stead. Robin gasped at the sudden intrusion, but automatically started sucking at them, causing Simon to groan.

With one hand steadily stroking him and the other shoved into his mouth, Robin found himself nearing closer and closer to his climax. Without thinking too much about it, he dug his short nails into his own chest, digging in deep and then scratching downward. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he came, his body arching up as Simon never ceased his rhythm, riding out Robin’s climax.

Robin sank back into the sheets, his heart pounding like he’d just run a marathon. He felt Simon release his cock and pull his fingers out of Robin’s mouth, stringy saliva following until the strands finally broke.

Robin’s eyes opened up slowly, locking eyes with Simon, who was taking in the sight of him completely blissed out.

_ Oh gods _ .

Robin felt his face turn red. He realized Simon definitely would have seen him literally claw his own skin right before his orgasm. He glanced down and saw the angry, red scratch marks on his chest. What was Simon thinking about seeing that?

“Honestly, Robin.” Simon started, and Robin felt his stomach twist in fear. “You are incredible to watch. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone react to me like you have.”

Robin was thrown for a loop. “What?”

“All the writhing and moaning? That was so amazing to see. Never had anyone act quite like that with me.”

Robin looked down at his own chest again. Before he could say anything else, Simon was getting up and cleaning his hands off. Then he walked over to the chicken cooking over the fire and checked on it.

Robin rose up, watching him. Was Simon not going to mention it at all? He wasn’t perturbed by seeing Robin do that?

“It will be a while yet.” Simon said. It took Robin a second to realize he was talking about dinner. “Let’s get you washed up.”

Simon grabbed a cloth and bucket and let Robin wipe himself down. He bit his lip as he cleaned his cock. He’d never had it be so sensitive before. He carefully laced up his breeches as Simon tossed the rag into the dirty laundry pile and set the bucket back.

“Did you want me to do anything to you?” Robin asked before he could lose the courage.

Simon smirked at him. “Like what?”

“Like… anything you’d like.” Robin faltered.

“You want to stroke me off?” Simon asked.

“Yes. But I’m not sure I’d be any good at it.” Robin added in a rush.

“Ever done it to anyone before?”

“Just the once…” Robin remembered Arthur’s scoffing and mocking at Robin’s eager but terrible attempt to stroke him. Shoving his hand away like he typically did at Robin’s sexual attempts, telling him to stop and reminding him he was awful at trying to give the prince any pleasure. “He didn’t like it very much.”

“Well, I’m not him, now am I?” Simon said. “If you want to do it to me, I’m more than willing.”

“Are you sure?”

Simon laughed at that. “Come on, Robin. I’m not expecting you to be a seasoned expert at it. We all have to start somewhere. If you’re willing, so am I.”

And that’s how Robin ended up next to Simon as he lay on the bed, Simon’s breeches pulled down to his knees as he patiently coached Robin on how to touch him, telling Robin how fast or slow he wanted it, the rhythm that he liked… Robin took heed of every word, scared of messing up or annoying Simon. He didn’t think he could bear it if Simon smacked his hand away like Arthur would, snapping at him and telling him how awful it was.

Next thing he knew, Simon was cumming, hands clutching the sheets and shuddering. Robin almost stopped when he realized Simon had reached his peak, but quickly remembered to keep it up until Simon was done.

“Perfect.” Simon breathed, looking down at the mess all over his stomach. “You did amazingly.”

“Really?” Robin pulled his hand away, observing the splotches of semen on it.

“Really.” Simon sat up. “You said the last person you did that with didn’t like it?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t know what was wrong with him, then. You were great.” Simon praised him. Robin smiled shyly.

Simon got up, taking off his breeches completely and walking over to get the bucket and a new rag. Robin found himself staring at his naked form, particularly between his legs at his slowly softening cock.

“I like your- um….” Robin waved his hand as he thought of a proper term. “You know. Manly bits.”

“What?” Simon snorted a laugh. “Did you just refer to my genitals as my ‘manly bits’?”

“I blanked on a better word.” Robin felt embarrassed as Simon laughed loudly.

“Robin, you are something else.” Simon looked at him fondly.

“You mean that in a good way, right?”

“Obviously.” Simon wiped himself clean. He tossed the rag to the side and put on his breeches again. “‘Manly bits’.” He chuckled again to himself.

Even Robin had to laugh a bit at himself now. “Sorry.”

“It’s all good. Just never had a lover call it that before.”

“Am I your lover now?”

“Have been for a couple of months, as far as I’m concerned.”

“You like me?”

“Yeah.” Simon went over to him and put his hands on Robin’s shoulder. “Yeah, I like you quite a lot.”

“Even though you think I’m odd?”

“Just adds to your charm, in my opinion.” Simon gave him a kiss. Robin silently pulled him in for another when Simon tried to pull away. Simon obliged and gave him another, longer kiss before pulling back.

“The man I was with before,” Robin blurted out, the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop them, “he wasn’t good to me.”

“I figured as much.” Simon looked at him sympathetically.

“But you’re so nice and so sweet to me and…” Robin paused as Simon patiently waited for him to finish his sentence. “And well… thank you.”

“Robin, you are very, very welcome.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur wordlessly appraised the various unfinished art pieces around him. “You do fantastic work, Aida.” He praised at last.

Aida smiled at his kind words. “Thank you, sire.” She said.

“I know my father has commissioned you in the past many a time and he’s always pleased with what you give him.”

“I am glad to hear he likes my works.”

“Tell me, do you do much sketching?”

“Sire, I could not begin to paint my portraits and art without a sketch first. A sketch is the outline I build upon.”

“How realistically do you think you could sketch someone?” Arthur asked.

“Sire?”

Arthur sighed and picked up a half-finished painting of a lake. “I wanted to gift a friend a drawn portrait of an old friend of his. He hasn’t seen him in a while and he misses him terribly. I thought something like that might help.”

“That’s a lovely idea. But admittedly, it would take some time to get everything right. I would need your help to make sure I’m getting all the features of the person right. We would need to work extensively together. It would be very time-consuming for me. I have quite a bit of work I’ve been commissioned for already.”

“I believe you know the man I’d like you to sketch.”

“And who would that be, sire?”

“My old servant. Merlin.” Arthur set down the painting again. “His previous caretaker, Gaius, has missed him since he left Camelot. I thought a sketch of Merlin might help. And I know you met Merlin a few times when you came to the castle to paint some of our royal court members.”

“Ah yes, Merlin.” Aida smiled fondly. “He was such a sweet boy. I had not heard he had moved away.”

“Yes. Well.” Arthur cleared his throat. “I was hoping you had a good enough memory of him to do a sketch. Just the shoulders up. Not a full body picture. Thought that might be better.”

“My lord, you are most kind to want to do this for Gaius. However… it may take some time… I have so many clients… I understand you are the prince, and I do not wish to offend you… But I have so much work that needs completed before I can begin on yours.”

“No worries, Aida.” Arthur smiled reassuringly at her. “How about this? I come back in a few weeks? Check in on your workload? See if you can start then?”

“I… may have some time to begin the sketch then.” Aida said hesitantly.

“Excellent.” Arthur said easily. “I will be by in a few weeks time. Oh, and… please make no mention of my request to anyone. I wouldn’t want it getting back to Gaius and ruining the surprise.”

******************************************************************************

  
  


Simon blew out the candle beside the bed and Robin felt him lift the covers and get in bed beside him. Simon got in close like he always did; wrapping one arm around Robin’s waist and spooning him.

“I have some deliveries to make tomorrow around town.” Simon said to him. “If you wanted to help me, it would make it a little easier.”

“Yeah, of course.” Robin said, not really listening. His hand went to Simon’s, grabbing onto the last three fingers and holding them.

“I love having you around.” Simon kissed the back of his head. “My little helper.”

“You really like me?” Robin said quietly.

“That I do.”

Robin opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it without saying a word.

“You wanted to say something?” Simon probed.

“Not really.” Robin lied. “Or… I was. But it’s not important.”

“Hm.” Simon said simply, giving him another kiss.

There was a silence for several minutes.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Robin whispered.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Robin shut his eyes at hearing that.  _ If only Simon knew… _

“You don’t think you deserve to be treated well?”

“I’m not sure. Sometimes I do. Other times I don’t.” Robin answered, surprising himself with his honesty.

Simon was silent for a minute. “Sometimes I wonder…” He began slowly, “if that man you bring up sometimes, the one you said you were ‘kind of’ in a relationship with, is responsible for why you think that way.”

Robin didn’t say anything to that.

“You said he wasn’t good to you once before.”

“Yes.”

“Why were you with him if he wasn’t good to you?” He didn’t sound harsh at all, more sad and curious.

“Because….” Robin swallowed. “I don’t know. I just was.”

“What sort of things did he say to you? How did he treat you?”

“I don’t want to talk about it. Please.” Robin begged quietly.

Simon was quiet again and Robin could feel the frustration and impatience coming off of him in waves. “Alright.” Simon said at last. “I’ll keep waiting for you to tell me. One day.”

“One day.” Robin whispered.

******************************************************************************

A couple of weeks after they had moved in, Artemis still hadn’t found the right time to ask about the crystal. It was always in the back of his mind that Merlin might get mad at him for using it, even though it hadn’t been intentional.

Artemis grabbed his journal and flipped to the page with his question on it for the millionth time, looking outside where Merlin was.

Every time before that he had thought of asking, of opening up that can of worms, something happened that made him decide not to.

Most of the time it was Merlin initiating sex or some other pleasurable act that Artemis readily agreed to. He never wanted to ruin the afterglow with the question.

Sometimes he simply chickened out, running through a scenario in his head in which Merlin was angry at him for pilfering through his stuff. He hadn’t seen Merlin truly angry since… that whole slave trader incident. While Artemis was pretty sure Merlin would never lash out at him with his magic  _ ever _ , the look in his eyes had been beyond frightening and Artemis dreaded ever seeing that look again.

Artemis took several deep breaths, even downing a glass of water before going outside.

Merlin was only a few steps away from the cabin. It was such a warm day, a sure sign that spring was around the corner, that he wasn’t wearing his jacket or shoes.

Merlin had the spellbook Artemis had bought and surprised him with last week open in his lap.

Artemis had found the spellbook deep on a shelf in the only shop in town that sold any sort of reading material or ink or other such supplies. He was only in there for ink when the cover of the spellbook caught his eyes and he was flipping through it. His fingers had trembled with some trepidation. He had never touched a spellbook before…

He knew Merlin would be delighted to receive it.

The shopkeeper had warned him that even though magic was legal here, that people who own such magical items would be viewed with suspicion by some of the townspeople. He warned Artemis to keep it hidden from people he didn’t trust.

Artemis had readily nodded in agreement, even though he wouldn’t be using it.

Merlin had grinned from ear to ear when Artemis had given him the spellbook and kissed him happily, thanking him over and over.

Now Merlin was sitting outside with a bucket of water, flipping through his spellbook, practicing them seemingly at random.

As Artemis approached him, nervously holding his journal and writing materials Merlin held out his hand over the bucket and said something in a strange language. Instantly, the water started steaming and boiling.

“Oh.” Merlin looked surprised. “Okay. Let’s try this then.” He held out his hand again and said something else and the water almost immediately stopped boiling… but then instead gradually turned to a solid block of ice.

“Hm.” Merlin shut the book. “Not what I had in mind either. But that’s alright.” He looked up at Artemis. “Come to watch me practice?”

Artemis shook his head, handing him the journal quickly before he could lose his nerve.

“What is it?” Merlin looked at the question and went still.

Artemis held his breath, regretting everything all at once.

“The white crystal. The quartz gemstone?” Merlin asked, looking up at Artemis for clarification.

Artemis nodded, sitting down in front of Merlin.

“How did you find out I had that?” Merlin asked quietly.

Artemis quickly wrote out in the journal that he found it by accident months ago, when they were camping out that first night on their own.

“Why didn’t you ask me about it then?”

Artemis shrugged. He wrote out that he was scared of what it did when he picked it up. He didn’t want to confront Merlin about owning a magical item back then.

“What did it show you?” Merlin looked apprehensive.

Artemis wrote, ‘ _ My mother. My father.’ _

“Nothing else?”

‘ _ Some things from win I was a child.’ _

Merlin read that and looked contemplative. “So…. nothing bad then?”

Artemis wrinkled his forehead and shook his head.

“I see.”

_ ‘Can I see it?’ _ Artemis showed him the question.

“Artemis… I’m really sorry. I threw it away months ago.”

Artemis felt a jolt of disappointment.  _ ‘Why?’ _

“I-” Merlin swallowed. “Artemis, the crystal was a living thing. Similar to the crystals in the cave we found once before. That crystal had the ability to show visions; past and future. Things it wanted the user to see. It was explained to me by someone who knew a lot about them that sometimes the crystals just… don’t take to some people.” Merlin took a deep breath. “The crystal, for whatever reason, simply didn’t like me.”

Artemis considered that as Merlin went on.

“It showed me… disturbing images.” Merlin set his hands in his lap. “It plagued me with nightmares. Things like you getting hurt. Arthur finding us. Things like that. And I endured it for quite some time. I wanted to see if I could get the crystal used to me. So I could harness it’s powers. But one night, our first night at the inn here, as a matter of fact, it gave me such a terrible, horrific nightmare.” Merlin shut his eyes for a second like he was seeing it all again. “And I woke up, and you were also crying and you said you also had a nightmare. I thought- I thought it was plaguing you as well and I couldn’t bear that thought. So I buried it the second I got the chance.”

Artemis let the story sink in. He completely understood Merlin’s side. He was startled to hear that the crystal showed him bad things when it had only shown Artemis good things. Well, with the exception of showing him his father’s death in a dream in grisly, sickening detail…

Merlin said that the crystal ‘didn’t like him’. So did that mean that the crystal had liked Artemis? Or was it just drawing him in? Keeping him intrigued and coming back until it could crush him with that awful nightmare of his father’s death?

Artemis wrote, ‘ _ You think the kristil was evul?’ _

Merlin gently took the quill from him and crossed out the misspelled words, correcting them as he replied. “Maybe not ‘evil’ Maybe just… very very neutral and uncaring. I do honestly believe it disliked me. It showed me nothing but horror the entire time I had it.”

Artemis looked at his corrections and made a mental note of them.

“I didn’t know you knew about it.” Merlin said softly. “I wish you had told me.”

Artemis hung his head and looked apologetic.

“It’s in the past now I suppose.” Merlin sighed. “Although I wish you had not also been affected by it.”

_ ‘I liked seeing my father. And my mother.’ _

“I’m glad it was kind to you.” Merlin said sincerely. “But I couldn’t handle having it around, being given nightmares and having it refuse to cooperate whenever I would try to see a vision in it. It just wasn’t worth it to me. Maybe… maybe if I had known it was being good to you, I would have talked it over with you. We could have made a decision about it together.”

Artemis nodded. In hindsight, he should have told Merlin a lot sooner.

Merlin leaned in and gave him a kiss. “Thank you for coming clean about it now. I’m sorry that I threw out the only means you had of seeing your family. I really am.”

Artemis nearly asked if Merlin could remember where he buried it. Then he realized that was a selfish thought. Merlin had clearly been badly affected by the crystal. Artemis may never fully understand the things he had been forced to see. To ask Merlin to dig it up would be almost cruel.

Artemis leaned in and they kissed again. Merlin stroked his cheek. “Are we all cleared away then, pet?” He asked softly. Artemis nodded. “Good. It’s getting chilly out and I’m dying to try a new fire spell in the fireplace.”

Artemis raised his eyebrows, sending up a quick prayer that Merlin wouldn’t set the entire place ablaze with his new spell.

“We’ll cook some rabbit,” Merlin continued. “And then… we’ll keep breaking in our new mattress. How does that sound?”

Artemis smiled and nipped his lip. They had sewn and stuffed a mattress for themselves a week ago and every night Merlin had insisted it needed more ‘breaking in’. He was more insatiable than ever now that they were truly on their own. Artemis definitely was not about to complain.

******************************************************************************

“Like the new pitchfork?” Simon and Robin were in the stables together. Simon hefted a pitchfork before Robin.

“Pretty nice, as far as pitchforks go.” Robin said.

“I made it for Wynnifred.” Simon explained. “And then she tried to pay me less than half of the agreed amount for it. I told her I’d hold it for a week until she agreed to pay the amount she said she would and she never did. Now we have a new pitchfork.”

Robin laughed. “Serves her right.”

Simon tossed some hay into the horse’s feeding bin. “I don’t want to have to start charging people upfront, but if this becomes a trend… I’ll be out a lot of money. Blacksmithing is not a charity. It’s my job.”

“I’m sure it won’t become a problem.” Robin assured him. “Wynnifred is just a cheapskate.”

“You’re right.” Simon tossed a few more loads of hay into the bin as his horse happily chowed down.

Robin waited until he was finished, setting the pitchfork against the wall. “So.” He said confidently, clasping his hands behind his back. “What are you going to do to me tonight?”

Simon looked at him, initially shocked, and then he laughed. “Well, aren’t you feeling bold today?”

Robin looked coy and then shrugged. “Possibly.”

“What  _ am  _ I going to do to you tonight?’ Simon mused. “What all have you done today?”

“I made you some bread for dinner tonight. I beat the rugs. I swept the floors.”

“Very good.” Simon said. He approached Robin, giving him a quick pinch on the cheek. “Aren’t you a good housemaid?”

Robin felt his heart flutter a bit. He had gotten to like pretending to be Simon’s housemaid. And the rewards for his work were always excellent.

“So what are you going to give me as a reward?”

“Well.” Simon looked like he was thinking about it. “I would have to look over your work. Maybe I could see how good the bread you made was before I agree to a reward.”

“That’s not fair.” Robin said. “You know I’m rubbish at making bread.”

Simon laughed. “True.” He agreed. “Maybe you’ll get better with more practice.”

With that, he turned and started pouring some horse feed into his horse’s second feeding bin.

“I want to give myself to you.” Robin blurted out.

Simon nearly dropped the horse feed. “What?”

“I meant… One day.” Robin’s voice sounded far away to himself as he backtracked. “I’ve been thinking about it.”

Simon blinked a few times. “I’m ready at any time you are, Robin.” It sounded like he might have meant that as a joke, but it came off more genuine.

“I’m honestly surprised you’ve been so patient with me.” Robin confessed.

Simon didn’t reply right away, setting down the horse feed and going over to Robin, giving him a kiss that made Robin’s toes curl. “I wouldn’t want to lose you by forcing you into anything you didn’t really want.” He said sincerely. “I can be patient for as long as you need me to.”

Robin looked up at Simon’s face and believed him. He marvelled at how different Simon was from Arthur.

Arthur was always mocking and scolding. He never listened to Robin’s wants or pleas. Being with Arthur felt like he was walking on broken glass; he felt apprehensive and fearful, never knowing which step would be the wrong one that got him hurt.

Being with Simon, he felt light and free. At first, he had been timid, wondering if Simon had the same temperament that the prince had had. But with each day that had passed, Simon proved himself to be kind and even-tempered. He had taken in Robin even after catching him stealing from him. He definitely wasn’t happy to find a stranger in his stables, but he had been somewhat understanding when Robin blurted out that he was sorry, that he was just starving and needed someplace to take shelter. And Simon let this complete stranger into his home, gave him his food, and let him get warm in front of the fire.

It astonished Robin, and he wondered to himself if he would have been so kind as to provide a home for someone in the same situation so readily.

Simon took his time getting Robin to trust him and open up to him. It had taken Robin so long to fully believe in Simon’s good-hearted nature.

He was just terrified that Simon would make him leave if he knew all of Robin’s story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin sat on the bed, watching Simon cut into the bread he had baked earlier that day.

“Not as dense as the last one.” Simon complimented. He picked a piece off and tasted it. “Oh, that’s quite the improvement from the last two.” He praised. “Well done, Robin.”

Robin smiled a little at that.

“Let me get the bowls ready, and then we’ll enjoy the bread with dinner.”

Robin barely heard that, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply.

“Oh, and we have nice cold butter as well. Forgot about that.” Simon said, clearly not looking at Robin.

_ If I keep being afraid to be with Simon, the prince wins. I can’t keep being afraid like this. _ Robin told himself.

“By the way, Helena told me she has plenty of eggs if we wanted to buy some from her. I told her we might be by tomorrow morning to look.”

Robin stood up, feeling like he was not even in control of his own body. He went and stood by the table, taking off his shirt and dropping it beside himself. Simon glanced over, but clearly didn’t think anything of it, going back to check on the stew boiling over the fire.

Robin couldn’t even feel his fingers as he started taking off his breeches, pulling them down to his ankles and stepping out of him. He shivered despite the heat from the fire.

Simon poured a ladle of stew into one bowl, turning around and setting it on the table while Robin waited for him to notice him.

Simon poured food into the second bowl, and turned around fully, looking over at Robin. He jumped a little when he realized Robin was completely bare in front of him for the first time.

“Robin?” Simon said, sounding amused. “What-?”

His question was cut off as his gaze lowered to Robin’s thighs. Robin felt himself shake.  _ No, no, no… Should not have done this.  _ He thought to himself, beginning to panic.

Simon turned deadly serious, going over to Robin and crouching down to get a closer look at Robin’s scars. “What’s all this about then?” He asked quietly, looking up at Robin.

Robin opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn’t make the words come out.

“You couldn’t have done this to yourself.” Simon said. He touched one of the scars and Robin’s leg jerked instinctively. “The angles of the… pictures are all wrong. Someone else did this.” Simon’s voice became stern. “Who? Who did this?”

Robin tried to answer but he choked up. He didn’t realize he was crying until Simon stood and wiped some of them away.

“It was that man, wasn’t it?” Simon asked, his voice hard.

Robin nodded, swallowing hard and lowering his head as his tears continued to stream down his face.

“Robin, Robin. No, no.” Simon wrapped his arms around Robin’s body, encouraging him to rest his head on his shoulder. “What all did that man do to you?”

Robin shut his eyes tight, the memory of Arthur carving his ‘art’ into his skin coming back vividly. Robin bit the inside of his lip so hard he drew blood and made a small whimper.

He burned with shame, remembering the excitement of Arthur ‘claiming’ him in his own way. Remembering how he had thought how exhilarating it was to be fully owned by someone, especially a prince. He used to look at the healing scars on his skin with a sort of perverse joy, thinking it meant Arthur loved him in some sort of way.

Now he knew that Arthur had just used Robin as an outlet for his own grisly and deviant desires. He wasn’t capable of loving someone. He was just a monster.

Simon could never know the former joy and elation it used to bring Robin to have Arthur create these scars in his flesh. He never wanted to deceive his lover, but he couldn’t bear it if Simon knew the kinds of things Robin used to do just to please the prince, and the brief satisfaction it brought him.

Simon held him, occasionally pressing a small kiss to Robin’s head. “You didn’t want me to see these.” He wasn’t asking. “You were ashamed of them.”

Robin nodded, still unable to speak.

“I’m so sorry, Robin.” Simon kissed him again. “I had no idea he had done anything  _ close  _ to this to you.”

“He was a monster.” Robin croaked out, face still pressed into Simon’s shoulder. “I thought he loved me. I let him do whatever he wanted. I thought it was just something I had to endure.”

“Oh, Robin…”

“He noticed me. No one ever paid attention to me before.” Robin whispered. “There was one night… He told me that I was special to him. And that he wanted only me.”

Simon held him tighter.

“He could turn on me faster than anything. One minute we were curled up together and then next he was hitting me and calling me ‘useless’ and-” Robin choked up again.

“No wonder you were walking on eggshells around me for so long.” Simon murmured. “He must have really gotten in your head.”

Robin grounded himself by wrapping his arms tight around Simon, taking deep breaths. “I was scared of what you might think. Seeing my scars for the first time.”

“I’m angry.” Simon said. “Angry and sad that someone did this to you. Made you think that you had to endure it or that you should. You know better know, right?” Simon made Robin look at him. “You know that what he did was horrible.”

“I know.”

“Never, ever let anyone hurt you like he did  **ever** again, do you hear me?” Simon looked directly into Robin’s eyes, making him squirm.

“I won’t.”

Simon pulled away again, looking like he was trying to compose himself. He crouched down again, looking at the scars.

There was a long silence. Robin was dying to know what Simon was thinking.

Simon touched one of the letters in the first phrase Arthur had ever carved into him. “I don’t think any less of you.” Robin nearly jumped at hearing that. “I understand how some people can get in your head. Manipulate you.”

Robin wiped away more tears. “I wish I could get rid of them.” He said quietly. “I can’t believe I have to carry them around for the rest of my life.”

Simon twisted his mouth at hearing that, but he didn’t reply.

“I don’t think I could have said no, though… Once he had an idea in his head…” Robin shuddered. “I couldn’t have stopped him.”

“I understand.” Simon said again, reassuringly.

“I’m glad I met you, Simon.” Robin reached down for him, and Simon took his hand and stood up. “I really believed I would never find someone who would treat me as well as you do.”

Instead of saying anything, Simon gave him a kiss.

“I knew I had to show you.” Robin added afterwards. “I felt like… I  **knew** … If I continued to hide the scars he gave me, he still had some power over me.” Robin’s jaw hardened. “I  **_could not_ ** let that be the case any longer.”

“I’m glad you showed me. I’m glad you trust me. You’re such a strong person, Robin. More than I ever previously thought.”

Robin shivered again, goosebumps appearing on his skin.

“Go lie down on the bed. Get warm.” Simon told him. “I’ll bring dinner to you.” He brushed Robin’s hair back. “You've taken great strides today, my love. He’ll never have that kind of power over you ever again.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur’s fingers trembled as he held the sketch in his fingers. Aida stood anxiously nearby, trying to gauge his reaction. “I took heed of your notes, and I did the best I could from memory.” She said, breaking the silence of the room. “Do you like it?”

Arthur stared at the breathtaking sketch of Merlin on the parchment before him. “It’s… incredible.” He fought the urge to touch it, knowing it would smudge the lines. “Every detail. It’s perfect.”

“I’m glad you like it.” Aida sounded like a mountain of worry had fallen off of her shoulders.

Arthur set the artwork down and dug out the payment. “You’ve done better than I could have hoped.” He told her. “I’ve rarely seen sketches this detailed. It’s exactly what I needed.”

“I hope Gaius thinks so too.”

“What?”

“Gaius?” Aida frowned. “You said the sketch was for him?”

“Right. Right, yes.” Arthur handed Aida the coins. “He’ll love it, I’m sure.”

He grabbed the art and turned to leave. “Only… I’m not sure when I’ll give it to him.” He said. “So, your secrecy is still appreciated until I do.”

“Of course.” Aida sounded a bit confused but she smiled at the prince anyway.

Arthur took one last look at the sketch before rolling it up and exiting the artist’s home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Every single detail...” Arthur’s fingers hovered above the drawing as he studied it again back in his room. “It’s utterly perfect. I almost wish I could keep it.”

“You can’t, Arthur.” His Merlin admonished him. “It’s important to our plan.”

“I know.” Arthur sighed, staring at the picture.

“Arthur.”

Arthur sighed deeply and rolled it up, tucking it behind some books on his bookshelf. “Phase two of our plan is complete, then.”

His Merlin smiled at him. “And so begins phase three. You’ve sent for him?”

“Not yet. I wanted to make sure the sketch was ready and well-done.”

“You’re getting so close, Arthur. I’ll be with you soon.”


	29. Chapter 29

It had been an exhausting day for Merlin and Artemis. They had been tilling the ground for their new vegetable garden now that the weather was getting warmer and spring was right around the corner. They still needed to buy the seeds and plant them, and get some stakes to put around the perimeter of their freshly tilled garden, but it was a great start.

Now the sun was setting and they were both resting up in front of their cabin.

“We survived winter, Artemis.” Merlin said. “It’s only going to be better from here on out.”

Artemis nodded his agreement, curled up tightly in Merlin’s lap, looking out in the direction of the meadow.

Merlin ran his fingers through Artemis’ hair. “I love that spellbook you gave me.” He said. Artemis smiled a little. “Best present ever.”

Merlin took the gift as a sign from Artemis that he trusted him as a sorcerer. The spellbook had been a pleasant shock to receive. Merlin knew Artemis was getting more and more comfortable with Merlin using magic around him. Artemis didn’t flinch or look away from Merlin as he was practicing his spells anymore. That was huge progress in such a short amount of time, considering Artemis had spent his whole life believing that magic corrupts people and steals their souls….

Merlin had a brief moment where he wanted to try and teach Artemis some magic. Then he realized there was just no way to. Merlin could use magic without much effort, without so much as a single spoken word. But that was because he had been born with the gift. Gaius had once or twice mentioned powerful sorcerers being able to conjure up spells in their minds and cast them, but that took a lot of years of practice and it’s own natural talent as well. Artemis would never be able to cast magic. Even if he wanted to.

“Want to see a new spell I learned?” Merlin stretched out his hand, making sure Artemis was looking. He concentrated hard as he said, “ Glófwyrt, ælfsogoða.”

He heard Artemis suck in a breath as a white lily took form in Merlin’s outstretched hand. A smile slowly spread across his face and he reverently took the flower from Merlin and smelled it.

“What do you think?” Merlin asked, pleased with Artemis’ reaction.

Artemis clutched the flower to his chest and gave Merlin a kiss.

“Thought you might like it.” Merlin said fondly. “I saw that spell and practiced it until I got it just right. Summoned just the petals quite a few times. I would have been embarrassed had that happened again just now.”

Artemis snorted a laugh and ran his finger along the petals and leaves.

“I love you, Artemis.” Merlin kissed the side of his head. “You are so precious to me.”

Artemis looked at him, suddenly more serious, and set the lily in his lap to give Merlin a tight embrace.

Merlin held him close for a minute or two. “You’re happy, aren’t you, my sweet?”

Artemis nodded, pressed a kiss to Merlin’s neck. He was probably getting tired of Merlin asking him that, but Merlin always wanted to make sure that the light of his life was completely content.

“I feel free.” Merlin said. “Happy and free.”

Artemis looked at him like he wanted more details.

“Being able to freely practice magic whenever I want? It’s exhilarating.” Merlin explained. “It’s been a part of me I’ve always tried to hide and make sure no one found out, for my own safety. But here with you… I can do whatever I want. I can free that part of myself that was always meant to be free.” Merlin ran his finger under Artemis’ chin. “And I get to be that way with someone I love more than anything.”

Artemis took his hand and pressed his mouth to Merlin’s knuckles, conveying with his eyes that he understood. At least… as much as he could understand it.

“I hope Gaius is alright.” Merlin murmured, his heart suddenly heavy. “I wish I had gotten to say a proper good-bye.”

Artemis nodded sympathetically.

“I imagine Robin is still with Arthur.” Merlin said bitterly. “I feel so betrayed by that man. I tried to help him. I guess we both did, to an extent. And he just…” Merlin let out a frustrated sigh. “Arthur was awful to him. He even admitted it. He stayed loyal to him anyway. And for what?”

Merlin rested his head back against the cabin door. “Some people you just can’t help…”

By ‘some people', he meant both Arthur and Robin. Arthur turned out to be such a horrendous monster that Merlin would never have fully comprehended it if Artemis hadn’t made him see. And Robin… Robin was just something else entirely. Merlin wasn’t quite sure what was going on in that man’s head. To have seen and fully witnessed the extent of Arthur’s depravity and wickedness and to have stayed with him anyway was beyond what Merlin could grasp.

“I still can scarcely believe it… about Arthur.” Merlin murmured. “The things he did… the evil things he did without a second thought. I can’t believe I served that man every day for  _ months _ … I  _ respected  _ him… I wonder sometimes… If I hadn’t met you, if you hadn’t shown me what kind of man he truly was… if he would have turned on me eventually. I don’t even know what I would have done if he had. If I would have risked magic…?”

It was still hard to imagine the Arthur he knew doing those things. The things he did to Artemis… To Robin… It was sickening to think about.

Artemis had gone stiff, staring straight ahead towards the meadow again.

Merlin realized a bit too late that he had gotten lost in his ramblings and thoughts about Arthur that he forgot to consider Artemis. All those memories dredged up for him… Merlin instantly felt guilty.

“I’ll stop talking about him now. I’m sorry.” Merlin said quickly. But it was too little, too late as Artemis shuddered and a tear ran down his cheek.

“My pet…” Merlin gave his arm a quick, soothing rub. “I shouldn’t have gone on about him. I got lost in my own thoughts. I’m sorry.”

Artemis shuddered again, sniffling back some tears. He squeezed his eyes shut and leaned in closer to Merlin, like he was searching for some comfort and something to ground him. Merlin’s heart fluttered despite feeling guilty at going on and on about Arthur and making Artemis react this way.

“There, there, pet.” Merlin tightened his arms around his lover. “I’m sorry. You’re okay. You’re safe here with me.” He kissed Artemis on the side of the head. “I’m sorry I brought it all up. I should have known better. I’m sorry, love.”

Artemis took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He blinked a couple of times and looked at Merlin, giving him a look Merlin couldn’t quite decipher.

Merlin was about to say something else when Artemis stood up. He nudged Merlin with his foot to get him out of the way of the door, so Merlin stood up and Artemis went inside.

Feeling his stomach twist with guilt, Merlin followed him inside, and watched Artemis grab his journal and quill and sit down to write.

Merlin sat uncertainly in the chair across from him, waiting for Artemis to show him what he was writing.

Artemis slid the journal over to him once he had finished, watching Merlin read it.

_ ‘I’m sorry I’m so sinsitiv. I wish it were eesyer to be with me.’ _

“Artemis…” Merlin felt his heart break a little. “I don’t think you’re too sensitive at all. And it’s not hard at all to be with you.”

Artemis took the journal back and wrote, ‘ _ We can’t talk. I cry a lot. You have to be carefull with me  _ _ becus  _ _ becaws of my past. Not fare to you.’ _

“Don’t  **_ever_ ** feel bad about what you went through.” Merlin said fiercely. He inhaled deeply to calm himself before adding, “You were not at fault for what happened to you, and you are not at fault when it makes you upset now.”

Artemis seemed to consider that, his mouth tensing in a firm line.

“Also, you used to cry a lot more,” Merlin reminded him. “You’ve actually come quite a long way in the time I’ve known you. I remember when I could barely touch you without you flinching away first. You’ve changed so much for the better in such a short amount of time. And not being able to talk to you has always been a challenge, but I’m not frustrated by it. And now you are almost fully literate, so it’s a lot easier.”  _ Save for some spelling mistakes, _ Merlin thought.

_ ‘I rooined our time outside just now.’  _ Artemis looked sad as he showed Merlin his response.

“I take full responsibility.” Merlin said seriously. “I know what it does to you to talk about people who have hurt you in the past. And I brought him up anyway. It was my fault entirely.”

_ ‘But you shoodent have to tiptoe arownd me.’ _

“I’m not ‘tip-toeing’” Merlin frowned. “I knew certain things upset you to think about or talk about. And so I try to avoid them so as to not upset you. You shouldn’t feel bad about that. It’s not your fault.”

Artemis didn’t write anything else and looked thoughtful.

Merlin wondered at the fact that Artemis had gone through so much trauma and seemed to feel bad for Merlin having to work around it. Merlin was always willing to work around it. Artemis deserved to feel safe, after all he had been through in his short life. Whatever sacrifices Merlin had to make in order to make sure that he felt safe and happy, Merlin was happy to make.

“... Would you like some dried fruit?” Merlin offered, trying to cheer Artemis up. “We have plenty of dried apple slices. I can bring you some water from the stream to wash it down with?”

Artemis smiled a little and nodded.

Merlin stood and kissed the top of his head before going to do what he offered. “I love being with you. Always. No matter what. Remember that, my sweet.”

******************************************************************************

Robin sat on the edge of the bed, so nervous he thought he might faint.

Tonight was the night. He was going to give himself to Simon.

Technically, two nights ago was ‘the night’, but Robin ruined it by having a couple of drinks to calm his nerves.

Two drinks turned into him polishing off Simon’s sloe gin and breaking open a new bottle of red wine and drinking half of that as well. Simon  _ had not  _ been happy to come home to a very drunk Robin half-way apologizing, and stumbling around insisting he was still able to go through with it.

“No, Robin.” Simon had picked him up and carried him to bed. “I’m not having sex with you while you’re like this, especially not with it being your first time.”

The last thing Robin remembered was being laid down and Simon tweaking the tip of his nose affectionately. The entire next day had been filled with headaches and vomiting, and Simon gave him very little pity, as both bottles he had drank from were very expensive and Simon’s favorites.

Now, two nights later, Robin sat on the bed, watching Simon get washed up and comfortable. He focussed on keeping calm and and not fidgeting too much. He didn’t want Simon to think he wasn’t ready.

Simon looked at him, scrutinizing him, it would seem. “Promise you haven’t gotten into my wine again?” He joked. Robin cracked a smile. “No, of course not.” He said.

“Good.” Simon said. “Now stand up and come over to me.”

Robin looked at him curiously.

“We’re not doing this as long as you’re sitting there looking like a scared bride.” Simon waved him over.

Robin stood and walked as normally as he could over to Simon, despite the fact that he was so anxious, he could barely feel his own legs.

Simon wrapped his arms around Robin’s shoulders, cocking his head. “Nervous?”

“A bit.” Robin admitted.

“That’s perfectly alright.” Simon assured him. He gave Robin a firm kiss that made Robin shiver. “I’ve wanted this for so long. I want to make sure everything goes perfectly for you.”

Hearing this, some of Robin’s nerves dissolved somewhat and he felt a bit more at ease. Simon knew what he was doing. Robin trusted him completely.

“I have some oil in the bedside table drawer.” Simon told him. “Makes it easier.”

“Okay.” Robin said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Hop up. Wrap your legs around my waist.” Simon ordered. Robin gripped Simon’s shoulders and hopped up a little. Simon used one arm to grab under Robin’s backside, holding him up, and rested the other on his back, keeping him in place.

Considering that they were very nearly the same height, (Simon being only a couple of inches taller) Robin assumed they looked ridiculous like this. Two grown men, one holding up the other like he was a girl or something-

“Hey. Kiss me.” Simon said. Robin obeyed, opening his mouth a little and letting Simon slip his tongue inside, letting their tongues intertwine, and Robin forgot all about looking ridiculous.

Simon steadily and easily carried him over to the bed, never letting their mouths part, and laid him down. Instantly, Robin’s nerves were back, even more intense than before.

Simon finally broke their kiss and rose up, shedding his shirt and removing his trousers quickly.

Robin fumbled with his own shirt, and Simon ended up helping him get it off. He had a much easier time getting his trousers off.

The reality of what they were about to do sank in even further as the cool air hit his bare skin.

“Anything you’d like me to do to help you relax a bit?” Simon asked softly, getting in bed beside him, leaning over and caging him in with one arm one either side of Robin. This should have been more intimidating, but Robin found it oddly comforting.

Robin didn’t reply right away, taking in the sight of Simon hovering over him, finally feeling some arousal dwarfing his nervousness.

Robin reached out a hand and traced the hard curve of Simon’s muscular chest and abdomen. “How did you get so big?” He asked out of nowhere.

Simon wrinkled his brow at the sudden question, and sounded amused when he answered, “Well, Robin, I work at a forge for over 10 hours a day.”

“But I’ve been around blacksmiths that don’t look nearly as big as you.”

“Maybe they aren’t as serious about their work then.” Simon said in a jesting manner.

Robin didn’t respond to that, again taking in the Herculean form hovering over him, greatly appreciating every firm line and curve of his arms, the hardened ‘V’ on his lower stomach leading directly towards his groin...

Robin lightly gripped Simon’s thick cock and stroked it once softly, causing Simon to shudder once involuntarily. He traced the thick blue vein with one fingers reverently. Simon had said a few times before that he liked it when Robin used his hand to bring him to his peak, even more so than when Robin used his mouth. It definitely made Robin feel good about himself whenever Simon would react so eagerly to his strokes.

“Robin.”

Robin snapped out of the slight trance he’d been in, looking at and touching Simon’s impressive form. “Sorry. What?”

“Anything you’d like me to do to make you more relaxed?” Simon reminded him. “I could use my mouth on you.” Simon lightly touched Robin’s still-limp cock, lifting it up with one finger.”

“Couldn’t we just kiss for a bit first?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

“And could you-?” Robin’s cheeks turned red. He ran his hand through his own hair and tugged at it slightly.

“Of course” Simon said again. He had come to the realization and understanding that Robin ‘liked it rough’, as he would say, quite a while ago. It didn’t bother him, and Robin was relieved that he wasn’t judged by his new lover for his unusual tastes. He doubted Simon would ever fully grasp exactly how far Robin was willing to go with it, however. And Robin would die of mortification if Simon ever knew all the things he’d done with the prince.

Simon entwined his fingers in Robin’s hair and got a good grip. As soon as he pulled at Robin’s locks, Robin felt the familiar surge of pleasure rush through him, making him stiffen his legs and curl his toes at the feel of it. His mouth fell open and immediately Simon was kissing him enthusiastically, nipping his bottom lip, tugging at it, flicking his tongue inside Robin’s mouth…

Robin groaned and arched up as Simon moved his fingers around and grabbed another section of hair, yanking it roughly. He nipped Simon’s tongue once or twice as it darted inside of his mouth, and was met with an appreciative noise from Simon.

Robin gasped for air as Simon moved away from his mouth. He moaned out Simon’s name as his lover kissed down his throat, going down to his collarbone, biting and sucking at the sensitive flesh. Robin was certain it would leave marks and the thought made him nearly dizzy with excitement.

Robin twitched his legs when he felt Simon grab his cock. “There we go.” Simon praised, squeezing and petting his stiff member. “That’s a lot better.”

Simon rose up and opened the bedside drawer, pulling out the little jar of oil. Robin inadvertently swallowed at the sight of it.

“It won’t hurt.” Simon assured him. “I promise you it won’t. I know what I’m doing.”

It probably wasn’t a good time to ask, but Robin did anyway. “How many men have you been with?”

“Two.” Simon answered without hesitation. “You’ll be my third.”

It was a surprisingly low number. Robin thought Simon would have a lot more experience than just two men.

“But like I said,” Simon went on, “I know what I’m doing.”

“Did it hurt for you? The first time you did it?”

Simon paused, like he was trying to figure out how to answer. “Well… If we’re being honest… I’ve never exactly been on the… receiving end.”

“Oh…” Robin said in a small voice.

“However, the men I have been with seemed to have no issues or complaints, so…” Simon smiled at him reassuringly.

Robin lifted up his knees and spread his legs apart, deciding that talking anymore about it was more than likely going to make him even more nervous.

Simon coated two fingers in the oil, setting the jar down and positioning himself between Robin’s legs. He watched Robin carefully as he gently circled his entrance with the first oiled finger.

It was definitely… different. Robin fixed his eyes to the ceiling and tried to distract himself as the first finger slid in.

“This okay?” Simon made sure as he curled a finger and tugged a little.

“Yeah. I think so.”

“Try to relax a bit more. Haven’t you ever had anything in you before?”

Robin thought about the crude wooden piece the prince used to use on him. He cringed at the memory and decided not to tell Simon about it. “No.” He lied.

“Oh.” Simon blinked at him. “Not even like… a finger?”

“Not… really…”

“Wow.” Simon muttered, looking at him differently.

Robin fixed his eyes to the ceiling as Simon continued to carefully stretch him out. It stopped being uncomfortable, but it definitely still felt intrusive.

“I’m going to add the second now.” Simon warned him. Robin nodded, still looking straight up.

“This might actually hurt just a bit.”

“It’s alright.”

“Ready?”

Robin had barely confirmed that it was and Simon was sliding in the second finger. He gritted his teeth.

“You okay still?”

“Um. It feels weird.”

“I bet.” Simon said, a hint of amusement to his voice. “But are you in any pain?”

“I don’t think so. Just feeling different.”

“Good.” Simon curled his fingers like he had previously with the first, and slid in and out, curling and tugging every once in a while. Robin untensed after a couple of minutes. He cautiously looked at Simon, who was watching him carefully.

Simon was sitting on his knees. Robin jolted when he realized Simon was steadily and lightly stroking himself as he prepared Robin.

Robin’s eyes fixed on the sight, taking in the size of Simon’s endowment,  _ really  _ gauging it for the first time.

_ Oh gods… That’s gonna be inside of me soon. _

And it was  **_much_ ** bigger than two fingers.

He must have had quite the look on his face because Simon paused and looked concerned. “What’s wrong?” He asked

“Nothing.”

“Something must be. You suddenly looked like a scared stoat.”

“It’s just-” Robin took a moment to compose himself and his words properly. “I was just thinking-  **really** thinking- about what we are about to do. And…” He exhaled shakily. “I just got anxious.”

“Nothing to be anxious about.” Simon said quietly. “I’ve got you. I’m going to make absolutely certain that you’re ready and take my time. I promise you that.”

“I trust you.” Robin said. And he really meant it.

Simon wrapped his hand around Robin’s cock and stroked it up and down, sometimes very gently squeezing the plush tip between his fingers. It gave Robin enough distraction from being stretched open, forcing him to focus on the pleasure of being touched by Simon’s expert hand.

When two fingers became three, Robin was surprised that he scarcely noticed until Simon curled them inside of him. His mouth opened in a silent ‘O’ and then he held his breath, exhaling when the burn of the muscles stretching subsided.

Then the fingers were gone. Robin braced himself for a fourth to be added. When it didn’t happen, he looked at Simon, who was carefully slicking his erection with the oil.

Robin shivered involuntarily, and Simon immediately stopped stroking him and placed his hand on Robin’s chest, leaning over him and kissing him.

“I’ve got you.” He murmured into Robin’s ear. “It will be amazing. I promise.”

“I trust you.” Robin said again.

Simon pushed one of Robin’s legs up, towards his chest. He finished slicking himself up, and positioned himself again between Robin’s legs, pressing the tip to his entrance.

_ Don’t tense up. Don’t tense up. Don’t tense up. _ Robin repeated this to himself over and over, until he felt the soft head push in at a steady pace.

He gasped at the intrusion; at the burning and painful stretch. Then he whimpered.

“Am I hurting you?”

“It burns a little.” He gasped again as Simon pushed in another inch and stilled.

“You feel so good.” Simon moaned, instead of comforting him. “I’m barely in you and it feels heavenly.”

Simon picked up Robin’s left arm and pressed a kiss to his palm. “So damn heavenly.” He said again, kissing down Robin’s arm.

“Really?” Robin asked faintly.

“Mm.” Was the only response he got.

“Would you kiss me?”

Simon obliged at once, practically attacking Robin’s mouth with his own. Robin tried to keep up with the rhythm and pace, but it was rough and wild and everywhere. Simon grabbed his chin and held his face still, kissing Robin so hard he thought his lips may bruise.

Simon took this time to slide in a couple more inches and Robin whimpered again.

“Sh sh sh. There there.” Simon said. “I’m almost halfway in you, love. Just a few more inches. Then I’ll stop. I’ll wait until you’re completely ready before I move again.”

Hearing this made Robin’s heart skip a beat. The way Simon panted as he spoke, like he was barely keeping it together, made Robin feel warm in his heart. He was barely doing anything, and Simon was quivering and fighting to keep his composure. It was dizzying to think about.

“Does it feel good for you, Simon?” Robin whispered.

“It does. You’re so tight and hot.” He shifted a little, groaning. “I don’t think the other men I’ve been with felt close to this.”

“You’re just saying that.” Robin smiled a little.

“I’m not.” Simon said seriously, looking Robin directly in the eyes. “They felt nothing like you do right now. I’m fighting not to cum right now, if we’re being completely honest.”

Hearing this made Robin feel warm everywhere. Being praised like this... it was exhilarating.

He kept calm, forcing himself to relax and not fight it as Simon slid in further and further until he was completely inside. Robin went from feeling slightly intruded upon and uncomfortable to feeling filled and claimed.

Simon didn’t move for a while, like he promised. Robin experimentally tightened his muscles around him and Simon moaned. “Don’t do that.” He scolded mildly. “Unless you want me to cum right here and now.”

“That would be embarrassing for you wouldn’t it?” Robin teased.

Simon tweaked his nose. “Hush.”

Robin requested tentatively that he start moving now, and Simon rolled his hips, sighing at the feeling. Robin’s eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of the wet drag of Simon’s thick cock inside of him. He gasped out Simon’s name when his lover sped up a little, cupping the side of Robin’s face, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Gods, so good.” Simon moaned. He slid one arm under Robin’s hips, lifting him up slightly and holding him there. Robin’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as Simon found his rhythm, consistently brushing up against something that felt lovely.

“Oh… oh… Simon… there. There, don’t stop… please…” These words fell out of Robin’s mouth without his permission, but he couldn’t stop them.

Simon kept it up, keeping Robin’s hips at an angle, brutally moving in and out, making Robin feel owned and claimed, making him feel desired and needed.

“Simon… Simon!” Robin cried out.

“Gods, Robin.” Simon swore under his breath. “You could wake the entire neighborhood.”

“I don’t care.” Robin’s words once again fell out of his mouth. “I want them to hear. I want them to hear how good you claim me. How incredible you are at this.”

Simon swore again quietly, thrusting harder than Robin previously thought possible. He was feeling lightheaded, seeing stars, throwing his arms up around Simon’s neck and-

“Simon! Yes, Simon! Please, gods yes!” Robin felt himself reach his peak without being touched once, something he did not previously think was possible.

“Robin. Oh Robin, by all the gods… you are beyond incredible.” Simon praised him again as Robin went limp in his arms, his own arms falling limp to the side, his head drooping to the side.

His eyes flew open as he felt Simon tense and stiffen inside of him, felt something hot splatter his insides. “Oh…” He whispered, no strength left to do anything else.

Simon was sweating, panting. He pulled out of Robin with a hiss, falling beside him, grabbing him and pulling him close, kissing him all over his face.

In the afterglow, watching the candlelight flicker on the walls, feeling his limbs still tremor slightly, Robin had never felt happier.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Was it really good for you, love?”

“Yes.”

“I’m so happy to hear you say that.” Simon kissed Robin’s head. “I wanted it to be so perfect for you.

“It was.” Robin still felt limp and weak. He wanted a glass of water, but that would mean leaving the cocoon of Simon’s strong arms.

“Sore?”

“Yeah.”

“Typical. You’ll have some trouble walking tomorrow, I expect.” Simon said, completely serious.

“Someone is full of themselves, aren’t they?” Robin teased.

“Maybe.” Simon conceded. “But you most likely will.”

“We’ll see.”

Simon pulled Robin in gently and kissed him, slowly and passionately. Robin broke the kiss first. “I’m glad my first time was with you.” He murmured.

“I’m glad it was, too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Artemis, yes.” Merlin groaned out as Artemis relentlessly pushed back against him, setting a harsh pace, sweat plastering his brown hair to his forehead.

Artemis used the wall to brace himself up, and Merlin wrapped one arm tight around his slim waist, thrusting again into that amazing heat.

Artemis had been teasing him the whole evening, touching him, behaving like a cat in heat, almost. It took quite a bit of skill to flirt with one’s partner with no words, but Artemis managed it quite well. It was maddening to Merlin, the way Artemis touched and teased, and it was nothing but a relief when Artemis finally let Merlin have his way with him.

“Little temptress, aren’t you?” Merlin laid several sucking kisses on Artemis’ neck. “My little temptress.”

Artemis nodded, out of breath. He fell forward onto his hands, then lowered himself onto his elbows as Merlin gripped his hips and set a brutal pace, seeing Artemis throw his head back and his mouth fall open.

“You know I can’t resist you on a normal day, Artemis. You’re so completely beyond gorgeous.” Merlin praised him, his voice rough. “But then you act like a little tease? It’s not fair.”

Artemis snorted a small laugh, peeking back at Merlin with a smirk.

Merlin ran his fingers through that thick hair, being careful not to be too rough on him. Artemis hated having his hair pulled in any way. But he adored having Merlin gently and languidly run his fingers through those thick locks, if the way he arched and moved his mouth was any indication.

Artemis grabbed his own cock and pumped it quickly as Merlin felt his own climax nearing. He came first, shuddering and emptying himself into Artemis. Artemis came a minute later, trembling and flopping onto the floor immediately after.

Merlin pulled out, a little shaky. He sat back and tiredly used magic to light some more candles and bring a glass of water to himself. He drank his fill, offering a sip to Artemis, who declined.

Merlin set the glass back onto the table, helping Artemis up so they could remake the bed for sleeping.

They curled up together under the covers, Artemis pressing soft kisses to Merlin’s throat and chest.

“I love you, Artemis.” Merlin muttered, half-asleep. He felt Artemis snuggle in tighter as a response. “You are everything to me.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur hired Elias without even meeting him first, offering him double what he normally charged to get his interest.

Elias was a tall, intimidating man with dark eyes. Arthur tried to appear unflinching when they finally met, but feared that he failed at that.

Elias was a skilled tracker/bounty hunter. He had been doing this job for 15 years. No one had ever eluded him. No one, not even once. Arthur made it clear to him that he wanted Merlin simply found, not harmed in any way.

“Discretion is key,” he told Elias. “I just want to find out where he’s living now. I don’t want him intimidated or feeling threatened. After you find him, report back to me. I’ll do the rest.”

He gave Elias the portrait of Merlin reluctantly. He liked looking at it in private, lightly tracing the lines and shading… nearly shaking with the anticipation of Merlin being back in his services, being able to see and touch him every day…

Elias took a quick look at it. “Anything else I should now?” He asked, folding it back up.

“There's someone with him.” Arthur couldn’t hide the bitterness in his voice. “Artemis.”

“And what does she look like?”

“It’s a he. And he’s on the shorter side. Brown hair. Brown eyes. He’s a mute as well. He’s normally very tanned, but with winter having just been finished, probably not as tanned as he was before. Skinny, but not terribly so. Very plain boy.”

“How old is he?”

“Eighteen? Nineteen maybe?”

“Good to know. And you are certain they will be found together?”

There was a sour taste in Arthurs mouth as he said, “Yes.”

Arthur gave him a portion of the cost upfront, as promised. Elias would get the rest upon returning.

As he watched Elias disappear into the night, he exhaled shakily. Merlin would be found very soon now. And he would go and get him when he was.

******************************************************************************

“I have some deliveries to make in the next town over next week.” Simon said, washing his hands after preparing dinner. Robin was folding their laundry, considering how much they must look like the perfect, domestic couple right now. “It’s over in Tunstead.”

“Why are you making deliveries for a different town? Don’t they have a blacksmith?”

“Of course they do.” Simon dried his hands. “But I have friends originally from here that moved there a few years back. They prefer to use my services.”

“Interesting.”

“So I’ve completed my orders for them, and I’ll be making the journey over there next Thursday.” He looked at Robin. “Would you like to come with me, perhaps?”

“Really?”

“It’s either that or be stuck here by yourself for a day or two. Thought you might like to see the sights of another town.”

“I would.” Robin confirmed.

“Fantastic.” Simon gently cupped Robin’s chin and gave it a quick squeeze. “I can introduce you to some of my old friends.”

Robin smiled and turned to stack the laundry he’d just folded. He yelped when he felt Simon give his backside a firm swat. He glared back at him playfully. “Watch it.”

“Sorry.” Simon smirked at him. “Couldn’t resist.”

“Save some of that attitude for after dinner.” Robin said flirtatiously.

Simon laughed at that. “Oh?”

Robin nodded, flashing him another flirty look and going back to stacking the laundry.

“You going to try and wake up the entire village again?”

“I might.”

Simon laughed again. “You’re adorable.”

Robin rolled his eyes at that, putting the laundry away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, thoroughly exhausted by their lovemaking, Robin and Simon held each other close, listening to each other’s quickened breaths and still-pounding heartbeats.

Robin twitched when he felt Simon’s rough hands travel down his back, over his backside, stopping on Robin’s thigh.

Robin’ eyes shut in shame when he felt Simon brush the scars there. He shivered when he felt Simon’s warm breath on his ear as he said, “If I ever meet the man who did this to you, I’ll kill him.”

Robin’s eyes opened at hearing that.

“He won’t get away with what he’s done to you.” Simon kissed Robin’s sweat-dampened hair.

“He doesn’t know where I am.” Robin whispered.  _ He might even think I died in the dungeons. _

“Nevertheless. If you ever see him again, if he ever comes near you, I swear to all the gods I’ll end him for the things he put you through.”

******************************************************************************

“It’s not cheating, is it? To use magic in my cures for the townspeople without their knowledge?” Merlin fretted, putting the vials of said magic cures in his satchel.

Artemis shrugged. It didn’t seem to him that using magic to cure people of various ailments was necessarily a bad thing.

“I just know a lot of them distrust sorcery. And here I am giving them magical potions and they sing my praises. Feels a bit… dishonest.”

Artemis didn’t bother with any kind of reply, grabbing various snacks and the waterskins for their day in town.

“I guess it’s not hurting anything.” Merlin muttered. He hung the waterskin that Artemis gave him at his side, adjusting his satchel. “Ready?”

******************************************************************************

“Thoughts so far?” Simon asked, as they wandered around Tunstead.

“It’s a bit more... rundown than I expected.” Robin confessed.

“Yeah…” Simon admitted.

“It’s pretty big, though.”

“It is. Did you want to grab a quick pastry at a stall or anything?”

“Could you? I’m actually thirsty and I want to refill my waterskin at the stream.”

“Yeah. I’ll meet you over there.” Simon let him grab his waterskin from the horse’s saddlebag and led the horse along towards a merchant stall while Robin made his way to the stream.

******************************************************************************

Merlin shuffled his hand around in his satchel, pulling out a hastily labelled vial. “Oh, this one is for Owen. Let’s drop this one off real quick.”

Artemis held up his empty waterskin and motioned towards the stream.

“Did you drain that already?” Merlin asked incredulously.

Artemis nodded. He was thirsty.

“Okay, I’ll drop this off and meet you there.”   
Artemis nodded again and headed into the woods. At the stream, he shed his boots and dipped his feet in first to cool them off, sighing at the feeling.

He peered into the water, spotting a small, smooth, striped stone. On a whim, he bent down and picked it up, running his hands all over it. He smiled absently. He used to collect river stones all the time. He had stopped years before, around the time that his abuse had started up.

He kind of missed his old collection…

He almost dropped the stone back into the water, deciding at the last minute to pocket it. Merlin might question later why he was carrying around a random rock, but Artemis wasn’t too worried about his judgment.

He looked into the water again, spotting another striped stone. He pocketed this one too, feeling both silly and very nostalgic.

He spent about 20 minutes, just walking along the edge of the stream, picking up stones that caught his eye, admiring them, sometimes pocketing the ones he really liked.

He almost forgot why he even came down here, until his parched throat reminded him. He took a break from looking at the stones and uncapped his waterskin, dipping it into the water.

He heard leaves and twigs crunching somewhere far off to his left. He didn’t bother with even a glance, straightening back up and taking a swig of water from his freshly filled waterskin.

“Artemis?!” He heard an eerily familiar voice exclaim. “Is that you?”

Artemis looked off to his left, his heart dropping into the pit of his stomach.

_ Robin?! _ He thought, completely taken off guard.

Robin, that utter bastard, that dirty trickster, had a big grin on his face as he approached. “It is you! By the gods, I had no idea I would ever see you again!”

Artemis felt his right fist clench tightly as Robin had the gall to come even closer.

Artemis’ eyes narrowed and Robin finally hesitated. “Artemis, I wanted to say… I am so sor-”

Moving as fast as a snake strike, blood roaring in his ears, Artemis closed the gap between them, swinging his right fist as hard as he could, connecting with Robin’s nose. He felt nothing but satisfied when he heard Robin grunt in pain and clutch his face, some blood already dripping down his chin.

Robin backed up, and Artemis stayed where he was, silently daring him to speak again or come closer.

Artemis heard quick footsteps approaching from the side. “Artemis, what’s happening?” He heard Merlin say.

Merlin froze when he saw Robin, still holding his face, looking pained. “You.” He said, narrowing his eyes. “What are you doing here? Where’s Arthur?”

It occurred to Artemis now that if Robin was here, the prince might be somewhere close as well. He hadn’t considered that until Merlin said it. He shivered, drawing in close to Merlin and clutching his arm.

“He’s not here.” Robin’s voice sounded a little more nasal than usual. “I don’t even work for him anymore.”

Artemis wasn’t sure if he believed him, but Merlin seemed to, as he unclenched his fists.

“I see.” Merlin said slowly.

Robin went over to the stream and splashed some water on his face to clean away some of the blood. When he stood again, he kept his head tilted back slightly, his face now soaked in water.

“So what are you doing here? How did you find us?”

“I wasn’t looking for you.” Robin snapped. “I’m here delivering supplies with a friend.”

“A friend?”

“Someone I met last year after I ran away from the prince.”

“You ran away?” Merlin repeated. Artemis was also shocked to hear this. He assumed Robin would still be working for the prince, considering his unsettling, unwavering loyalty towards him.

Robin checked to see if his nose was still bleeding. “After what he tried to do to Artemis? Yeah, of course I ran away.”

“You lured him there in the first place!” Merlin snapped. Artemis could have punched Robin again for saying that like he was an innocent bystander who had nothing at all to do with Arthur’s second attempt to rape him.

Robin looked down at the ground. “Yeah. I know. That fact haunts me every day. That I was nearly responsible for Artemis getting thrown in harm’s way.”

“ **_Nearly_ ** responsible?!” Merlin was now nearly vibrating with anger. “You knew exactly what kind of person Arthur was. And we tried to help you get away from him and in return you agreed to trick Artemis into getting trapped in a room with Arthur. If he hadn’t managed to get away…” Merlin inhaled a trembling breath through his nose. “You’d be at fault as well for what would have happened to him. You would have just stood there-”

“I would not have ‘just stood there’!” Robin spat. “I felt sick when I realized what Arthur was going to do.”

“And what the hell else did you think was going to happen?” Merlin questioned. Artemis had the exact same question in mind.

“I don’t know!” Robin took a second to compose himself. “I knew… he mentioned wanting to ‘punish’ Artemis… But I had no clue what all he had in mind. I didn’t think it would be  _ that _ .”

Artemis glared at Robin and he had to look away. The memory of Robin just  _ standing there _ , like a helpless traitor, made his blood boil all over again.

“So you heard the word ‘punishment’, and just thought… what? Arthur would simply scold him for something? They’d have a nice sit-down chat?” Merlin’s arm was trembling as Artemis held it and Artemis wondered if he was having trouble keeping his magic at bay. “You knew  **exactly** what Arthur was capable of. You told us the sort of things he did to you, even though we didn’t know it was him who you were speaking of. And yet you still willingly did anything he asked of you.”

“I was an idiot.” Robin whispered miserably.

Artemis snorted even as Merlin said, “That’s an understatement.”

“I have wanted to apologize every single day. To you, Artemis.” Robin fought to hold his gaze even as Artemis stared at him with a stern fury into his eyes. “I can’t make any more excuses for it. I lied to you, and I tricked you. I am so sorry that you nearly experienced such an atrocity because I was so eager to make the prince happy with me. It was like he had this grip on me, and I couldn’t shake it off. I wanted him to love me so badly and become the person I fantasized about, the person I wanted him to be. But after what he tried to do… I basically told him off. I called him a monster to his face. I questioned why he could ever do this to another person. I-” Robin swallowed. “I used to beg him for any sort of love and pure affection, and he denied me every time. I wanted him to want me, and he always scorned me. And then I saw how he was with Artemis… I realized in full exactly what he was going to do. And I couldn’t keep that fantasy in my head anymore. He would never be who I wanted him to be. He would never treat me how I wanted him to treat me.”

“And then you ran away.”

“I tried. My first attempt, he caught me. He threw me in the dungeons, told me I would die down there. If it hadn’t been for a guard believing me and having mercy on me, I’d be dead right now. I fled Camelot the second I was free. No money, just the clothes on my back. And… the horse that I stole…”

“You stole a horse from the stables?”

“Yeah. Easier than you might think.”

Artemis pondered over his words. Part of him still wondered if this was just him making excuses… but it sounded like more than that. Robin poured out his heart. He was sorry, truly sorry for what he did while he was with the prince.

“Can you forgive me, Artemis?” Robin sounded almost pleading. “I hope you can. If not today, then one day… Nothing I can do or say could make up for it. I know that. I’m just asking for you to forgive me for the way I wronged you.”

Looking at him now, hearing his story… Artemis realized Robin was just as much a victim of the prince as Artemis had been. Arthur had preyed on Artemis’ weakness, the fact that he was mute, easily overpowered, and meek. And he had also preyed on Robin’s desire and need to be wanted and loved by someone. He committed horrendous, violent acts against Robin, just like he had with Artemis.

His heart softened a bit. Robin was not a bad person… not really… He’d run away from the prince, with very little possessions, which could not have been easy. He had made some mistakes… but he was trying to make amends…

Artemis released Merlin’s arm and walked steadily over to Robin. Robin winced and shrunk back a bit, like he expected to be punched again.

Summoning his courage, Artemis spread his arms once he got close enough and very carefully embraced Robin.

It felt weird, being so close to another person who wasn’t Merlin. He wasn’t sure if he’d hugged a lot of people in his life. But he needed Robin to know that he could forgive him. Maybe not entirely, not all at once. But he could work on it.

Robin realized what he was doing and very slowly embraced him back. They pulled away after a few seconds, Artemis offering up a small smile and Robin smiling broadly like he couldn’t stop himself. “Thank you, Artemis.” He said. He glanced over at Merlin, like he was still fearing his judgment.

But Merlin seemed at ease, watching the two of them. Artemis gave one last smile to Robin, just to convey everything was okay now, and went back over to Merlin, taking his arm once again.

“Can I take a look at your nose?” Merlin said suddenly. “Just to make sure it isn’t broken?”

“Yeah.” Robin went over to Merlin and Merlin quickly examined it. “It’s just bloody.” He confirmed. “Should heal up just fine on it’s own.”

Robin touched it and winced. “Simon will have some questions…” He muttered.

“Simon?”

“My friend. Well,” Robin blushed a little. “My, uh… my lover, I guess.”

Artemis’ eyes widened a bit.  _ Oh. _

Merlin raised his eyebrows. “You have a lover?”

“Met him last year. He’s great. He’s really kind to me. Nothing like how Arthur treated me. He’s very generous, very good to me. We live together. He works at a forge as the blacksmith in our town. He’s fantastic at it too.” Robin went quiet suddenly, like he realized he was rambling on.

“I’m glad to hear it.” Merlin said honestly. Artemis felt the same way. “Everyone deserves someone who treats them well and cherishes them.”

“Did you want to meet him?” Robin offered. “He’s in town somewhere, making deliveries. I can tell him you two are friends of mine from the town I used to live in. He, um, doesn’t know my full story. Like that I used to work for the prince, and the… other stuff. He knows some things, but I try to keep it mostly vague.”

“Yeah. We could meet him if you wanted us too.” Merlin agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon was actually fairly close by, once they started back towards town. They were still in the woods when they happened upon him. Robin embraced him as soon he saw him, much to Simon’s shock.

“Hi.” He pulled away. Robin knew he wasn’t being rude, just confused as to why Robin was showing blatant affection in front of these two strangers.

“Simon, this is Merlin and Artemis.” Robin gestured towards them. “They were friends of mine back from my old town.”

“Oh. Hello there.” Simon smiled at them in a friendly way.

“They’re together, too. For some time now, I think.”

“Ah, I see.” Simon said. “Congratulations.” He said to the couple.

Simon handed Robin a pastry. “Do you two live here then?” He asked.

“We live in the woods. Well, in a cabin. A cabin out in the woods.” Merlin stuttered out, taking in the giant form of Simon. Robin smirked, curving one hand onto Simon’s defined forearm. He knew Simon was not only a formidable figure, but incredibly attractive as well. He took some pride in showing him off to two people who knew beyond a doubt they were an item.

Artemis seemed to be taking in everything about Simon. He had never looked smaller in comparison.

“What happened here?” Simon gently touched Robin’s nose.

“I tripped on my way to the stream.” Robin said lightly. “It was no big deal. Not broken or anything.”

Simon didn’t look like he believed Robin, but he didn’t ask any further questions. “Did you want to spend some time with them, or did you want to help me with the rest of my deliveries?”

Robin considered that until Merlin interrupted his thoughts. “Actually, I’ve got quite a few deliveries to make myself.” He held up his satchel.

“What have you got there, then?” Simon asked.

“Medicines.”

“You kind of like the town physician?”

“Unofficially I guess.” Merlin shrugged.

“Good, good. They needed one.” Simon said lightly. “Well, since we all have our own things to do-”

“We could meet up later. Maybe by the tavern? Have a quick drink or two? Catch up a little more?” Robin suggested.

Merlin looked at Artemis. “Artemis doesn’t like it when I drink… I think it makes him feel uncomfortable.”

Artemis tugged on Merlin’s arm and nodded several times in a row, pointing at Simon and Robin.

“You… are okay with meeting at the tavern?” Merlin asked him. Artemis nodded again. “Alright then. Let’s meet there later then.”

“Bit shy, are you, Artemis?” Simon meant it in a nice way, but it came off a bit patronizing.

“He’s mute.” Robin said to him quietly.

“Oh.” Simon looked embarrassed. “My bad. I apologize.”

Artemis smiled a little.

“Meet you at the tavern in a couple hours, then?” Merlin confirmed.

“Sounds good.”

They said their brief, temporary good-byes once they got back to town. Robin heard Merlin quietly tell Artemis he wouldn’t drink if Artemis felt uncomfortable with it. Artemis made no attempt at a response.

Whether Merlin and Artemis would be imbibing or not, Robin looked forward to seeing them again in a few hours.

******************************************************************************

Robin quickly murmured what he didn’t want Simon to know about, in regards to his time living in Camelot with the prince, and quietly requested Merlin not bring those things up.

Merlin understood completely, giving him a brisk nod, wrapping one arm around Artemis, and heading inside the tavern.

Simon could pack away mead and wine like it was nothing, Merlin quickly found out. The man was on his 4th tankard and showed no signs of drunkenness whatsoever.

Robin, on the other hand, was a complete lightweight, enjoying a pint of cider and half a cup of wine before he was tipsy.

Artemis allowed Merlin a pint of cider, even taking a few sips himself. Merlin wasn’t sure why Artemis was so against alcohol… maybe something involving his past abusers? But he was grateful that his lover trusted him enough to allow him to partake.

Merlin found that he liked Simon quite a bit. The man wasn’t quite his type, romantically speaking, but he was incredibly friendly, and very easy to have a conversation with.

Robin was obviously head-over-heels for the man. Anytime Simon spoke, Robin fixed his unwavering gaze on him, sometimes lightly touching his forearm as Simon spoke, not really breaking his gaze unless Robin responded, or Merlin did.

Merlin was genuinely glad Robin found someone. He truly deserved a bit of happiness.

“I’m going for another cider.” Robin said, pushing away from the table and standing unsteadily to put in a request for another drink.

Simon shook his head fondly at him, watching him walk away. “Lush.” He chuckled, and Merlin and Artemis smiled.

“How did you two meet, then?” Simon asked, lifting his mead to polish it off.

“He worked at some stables in our old town. I worked for a family, as sort of a servant.” Merlin tweaked the truth. “People were talking about him when he first started, and I decided I wanted to meet him. It took some time, but we became friends, and eventually… you know… lovers.” It was a simple enough story, their beginning. Who would have thought they would have ended up here after less than a year of being together?

“Who liked who first?”

“Not sure.” Merlin looked at Artemis. “I like to think it was mutual right off. I definitely thought he was cute as soon as I laid eyes on him-”

Artemis blushed and took a quick sip of cider.

“-but I didn’t develop actual feelings for another month or so. I just liked hanging out with him. Then it became obvious to me that he liked me after a while. So I basically started courting him, just to see if there was a real connection. And, of course, there was. I fell for him pretty hard after a while. We spent more and more of our free time together until we made it official.”

Artemis looked shy but happy to hear Merlin retell their story.

Simon looked thoughtful. “And did anyone say anything about your relationship?”

“Oh gods, no. No one knew. Well… a couple of people did. But we kept everything as underwraps as we could.”

“I often wonder how my own townsfolk would react to the confirmation of Robin’s and mine relationship.” Simon pondered. “I mean, we live together. Surely people suspect. But we keep it very underwraps as well.”

“It’s best that way.” Merlin said sadly. “Who knows the reaction you might get?”

“True.” Simon said as Robin returned with his drink.

“So. How about you two?” Merlin asked. “How did you get into a relationship?”

Simon told the story of how he discovered Robin trying to bed down in his stables. He was furious at first, but upon realizing the direness of Robin’s situation, allowed him inside of his home, feeding him leftovers and giving him some dry clothes.

“Robin ended up essentially offering up his housemaid service in exchange for shelter with me.” Simon joked.

“I’m not a housemaid.” Robin rolled his eyes. “It was just the easiest way for me to stay in a good home.”

“You’re a good maid though.” Simon smirked. “I’m glad I kept you around.”

“Sure that you didn’t just keep me because you thought I was handsome?” Robin jested.

Simon rolled his eyes. “Maybe a bit. I can’t deny I thought you were good-looking, that made the decision easier. Also, I was tired of doing my own laundry and dishes.”

“Your house was a mess before I came along.”

“Not true.” Simon protested.

Watching the two of the go back and forth, they reminded Merlin of a couple who had been together for years. Their cadence and easy-going jesting was surprising for the short amount of time they had been together. They fit together seamlessly, effortlessly. It made Merlin’s heart warm a little. He wondered if Artemis sensed it too.

“Looks like we’ll be staying at the inn tonight.” Simon shook his head as Robin drained his cider.

“You need to take me out on more dates, anyway.” Robin said.

“The sun is about to set.” Merlin realized, looking towards the front of the tavern, out the window.

“Do you live very far from here?” Simon asked.

“Nearly an hours walk… Merlin said. “It will be dark by the time we are home if we delay any longer.”

He was reluctant to leave. He was enjoying his time with Simon and Robin.

“I completely understand. We ought to get ourselves a room tonight anyway, before it gets any later.”

They paid their tabs, exiting the tavern. Simon untethered his horse as Robin said his good-byes to Merlin and Artemis.

“Thanks.” He said shyly. “For forgiving me, and being so kind.”

Merlin rested a hand briefly on his shoulder. “Of course.” He said. “And Robin, Simon is a great man. I have a feeling you two will be happy for a very long time.”

Robin practically beamed at hearing that. “Thank you. He’s fantastic, isn’t he?” Robin looked back at Simon, who was now slowly leading the horse back to them. “I’m very lucky.”

“Anytime you want to visit, just drop by. We live south of the outskirts of town. If you follow the stream, you’ll happen upon our cabin. A townsperson might be able to show you exactly where, if you wanted to ask.”

“Same goes for you.” Simon added, coming close enough to hear. “We live in Murkwelle. Right by my forge. Any time you wanted to drop by and catch up.”

“Thanks.” Merlin quickly shook his hand, since it seemed like the right thing to do. “We’d better be off.”

“Travel safe.” Simon said, and Robin flashed them one last, happy smile before going to Simon’s side, letting Simon drape one arm over his shoulders as they headed to the inn.

******************************************************************************

_ ‘Simon was nice.’  _ Artemis wrote. Merlin read it as he prepared for bed.

“Yeah, he was. Robin was lucky to find him.”

_ ‘Handsum too.’  _ Artemis nipped his lip and smiled when Merlin read that and rolled his eyes.

“Is that so?”

_ ‘You are stil more handsum.’  _ Artemis rectified.

“I’d better be. I won’t have you running off with another man.” Merlin arched an eyebrow, keeping a twinkle in his eyes so Artemis knew he was jesting.

_ ‘I wood nevr do that _ .’ Artemis vowed.

“I know you wouldn’t.” Merlin kissed his cheek. “Bedtime, then?” He rested his hand on Artemis’ backside, giving it a pleasant squeeze. “What do you have planned for me tonight?”

******************************************************************************

“I like your friends.” Simon said out of the blue as Robin crawled into bed with him.

“Thanks.”

Simon briefly touched the side of his face. “So what happened with your nose?”

Robin had hoped Simon had forgotten about it. “I told you. Tripped and fell in the woods.”

“If someone attacked you, I’d like to know now.” Simon’s voice became stern. “People don’t simply get bloody noses from tripping and falling in the woods.”

“But I did.” Robin insisted.

Simon heaved an exasperated sigh. “Is that the story you’re sticking to, then?”

“It’s the truth.” Robin lied.

Simon sighed again. “I was hoping this phase of you lying and being vague was over.”

“Please drop it, Simon. I’m alright. I just got a bloody nose is all.” Robin tried to sound firm.

“Fine.” Simon nearly snapped. “But if you’re deceiving me…”

Robin rose up and gave him a kiss. “You’ll do what? Kick me out? You’d miss me.” He nuzzled Simon’s cheek, making him huff in fake annoyance.

“I would miss you.” He conceded. “You’re a very big part of my life. I’d never just kick you out.”

“I know that.”

“Now.” Simon dragged Robin further on to him until he was in a sitting position, straddling Simon’s waist. “What are you going to do for me tonight?”

“Hm. I’m not sure…” Robin splayed his hands across Simon’s chest.

“Well, you have to earn your keep.”

Robin smiled at that. He kind of liked keeping up that sort of roleplay. “It depends on what the master of the house wants me to do.”

“The master of the house has some ideas…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter came later than usual. I actually just had a baby about 10 days ago so please understand if these chapters start getting put out a bit more slowly...


	30. Chapter 30

A few nights after their chance encounter with Simon and Robin, Artemis awoke in the middle of the night, mere hours since he’d fallen asleep. He wasn’t sure what woke him up, until he saw Merlin sitting in front of the fireplace, a small ball of blue light hovering over his head as he read from his spellbook.

Sleepily, Artemis got out of bed and went over to him. He must have been especially quiet, because Merlin jumped in alarm as soon as he got close.

“Sorry, did I wake you up?” He said apologetically.

Artemis sat next to him, facing the fire, leaning against his shoulder. He felt strangely tired. He stretched a bit as Merlin continued to read his spellbook.

“Artemis.” He heard Merlin whisper. He opened his eyes, uncertain of when he had shut them. “Look.”

Merlin was pointing towards the fire, and he whispered some strange words. Instantly, a section of the fire took the form of a dragon, it’s fiery wings flapping as it flew in place. Artemis smiled sleepily. The fire took the form of a rabbit, standing on it’s hinds legs, twitching it’s ears. Then a bird. Then what looked to be a mouse or rat scurrying.

Artemis’ eyes fluttered closed, and he felt Merlin gently lift his chin and kiss him. He returned the kiss as best he could, head trying to droop.

“Let’s go to bed.” Merlin suggested, helping him stand up. Artemis shuffled to bed, flopping down again, feeling Merlin spoon him from behind. He fell back to sleep almost at once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin awoke to a swift knock on the door. Artemis didn’t stir, wrapped up in quite a few blankets.

Merlin answered the door to see one of the people of Tunstead, Benjamin, the teenaged son of Helen, requesting his help in town. Three people had fallen ill, seemingly overnight, and they needed his help.

Merlin quickly dressed, leaving a note for Artemis. He tried to wake him, but Artemis shook him away, burrowing deeper into the blankets.

He hoped Artemis wouldn’t be too upset that he’d left without much of a warning again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis struggled to open his eyes, feeling more exhausted than he had in his life. He tried to sit up, attempting to shove the blankets off of himself with little progress.

He pushed himself up with great effort, managing to sit on the edge of the mattress. He fought to keep his eyes open, looking around for Merlin, who was nowhere in sight. Was he outside? He hadn’t left without telling Artemis  _ again _ , had he? Then again, Merlin might have told him and he was just too out of it to remember.

Artemis wiped his eyes, trying to wake up a bit more. He was surprised to wipe away a layer of sweat. He wiped his forehead, the back of his hand coming away wet. He ran his fingers through his own hair, which felt like he’d just dunked his head underwater.

Was it all the blankets he’d slept under? He’d felt so chilly last night, he’d bundled up as much as he could. He still felt a bit cold when he woke up.

Grossed out, he peeled his shirt off, shuddering when he realized how damp it was.

He looked back at his own pillow, seeing the moisture stain from his sweat clearly now.

He was insanely tired, he was dying of thirst, he had no energy, and he felt miserable, all at the same time.

He crawled back into bed, this time on Merlin’s side, layering himself in the blankets again to stop the chill. He passed out almost immediately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin returned to the cabin a few hours later, silently fretting to himself about how he was going to cure the ill.

They all said they felt extremely cold, despite running a high fever, and sweating profusely. None of them were entirely lucid, sometimes falling asleep in the middle of Merlin’s examinations and questions. Two of them were shaking uncontrollably.

It concerned Merlin that he had never read about or witnessed such an illness. If only he still had Gaius. Maybe he’d seen something like it before. Merlin had such a limited knowledge of herbs, he wasn’t even sure where to begin. The thought of letting the townspeople down was unacceptable to him.

“Artemis?” Merlin said to his lover, who was still bundled under the sheets, this time on Merlin’s side of the bed. “Can you get up, love? I need your help with something.”

Artemis didn’t even stir. Sighing, Merlin went over to him and gently shook his shoulder. “Artemis.” He said louder. “Wake up.”

He heard Artemis snort and shuffle before going still. Merlin rolled him onto his back, taking a step back as he took in Artemis’ appearance.

Artemis had gone pale seemingly overnight. He had a sheen of sweat covering his face, and he was shivering uncontrollably. Merlin felt his heart sink. It was the same thing those three people back in town had.

Merlin felt Artemis’ wet forehead, dismayed at how hot it was. Without another word, he grabbed a bucket and rushed to the stream, filling it up and rushing back. He grabbed a cloth, set the bucket down next to Artemis, and cast a quick spell onto the water, making it ice-cold. The first time he’d tried that spell, it turned the water into a solid block of ice. This time, he was relieved to see it work perfectly. Ice crystals formed on the outside of the bucket, but the water stayed liquid.

He dipped the cloth in the water and started wiping down Artemis’ face and chest, trying to cool him off quickly.

The rag became warm almost the instant it touched Artemis’ skin, much to Merlin’s dismay. He kept soaking the rag and reapplying it to Artemis’ forehead, only for it to come away hot.

The fever must be ragingly high for this to be happening, Merlin thought to himself worriedly. He’d never seen this before…

He pulled Artemis into a sitting position, helping him stay upright. Merlin summoned a cup to himself, dipping it in the water. “Here.” He said. “Drink some cold water. It might help with the fever.”

Artemis wasn’t fully lucid; trying to lie back down, eyes refusing to stay open. Merlin wouldn’t let him lay down again, insisting he try to drink.

Artemis finally accepted it, slowly drinking the water, leaning heavily into Merlin like he couldn’t help it. Merlin struggled to keep him upright until he finished the water, letting him lie down once he was done.

“I’m going to figure out how to heal this illness.” Merlin stroked his hair, ignoring how soaked it was. “I’ve never seen anything like it before, and I wish I could have your help to figure out a cure… I’ll be studying my herbal remedies books and my spellbook and see what I can come up with.” 

Artemis was fast asleep before he finished his sentence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I can’t thank you enough for helping me out, Benjamin.” Merlin gathered his hastily made tinctures and shoved them into his satchel. He grabbed the elderberry medicine he made as well, adding it to the bag. “I’ve been a bit overwhelmed, what with taking care of Artemis for the past three days, and going back and forth between town,  _ and _ trying to gather up my plants and such to make the medicine.”

“It’s no problem.” Benjamin said, looking over where Artemis lay. “Whatever gets this whole sickness over with as soon as possible.”

The numbers of sick people jumped to 15 just that morning. Merlin was so overwhelmed, trying to make enough medicine, trying not to forget anyone who was ill, and then trying to make sure Artemis was well taken care of when he was back at the cabin.

“He’s still not eating. Seems like none of the sick have an appetite. I’m trying to give him a glass of water every hour. Sometimes he takes it, sometimes not. Try to offer him some food every time he wakes. Keep him cool. I have been keeping the blankets away from him to keep his fever down, but sometimes he tries to bundle up again. So keep him away from the blankets.”

“... Alright.” Benjamin seemed to try to commit all that to memory.

Merlin went over to Artemis, trying to wake him a little. “Hey.” He said softly. “I have to go back into town again to deliver the medicines. Benjamin will be here in the few hours I am gone. He’ll take good care of you, I promise.” Merlin felt Artemis’ blazing hot forehead. “I won’t be too long.” He wanted to give him a quick kiss, but that was a definite no-go with Benjamin standing right there.

Merlin got back up. “If he seems like he’s having a bad dream, try to wake him. His high fever may make him delirious, so he might be confused when he wakes.” Merlin handed Benjamin the elderberry medicine. “He needs to take this within the next hour. I’ll give him the other tincture when I return. Keep him cold-”

“Merlin, just go.” Benjamin said, sounding amused. “I’ve got it. Take my horse, go into town. Take care of the townspeople and I’ll take care of Artemis. He’ll be fine.”

Merlin realized how he was being. “You’re right.” He sighed. “I need to get going. Thank you again. This means a lot to me.”

Merlin reluctantly left, looking back for a moment to see Benjamin sit awkwardly at the table, watching over a sleeping Artemis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis awoke in the same haze he’d been in for a few days. His eyes were blurry and he blinked to adjust them to the light.

He tiredly wiped his forehead, clearing away the usual sweat and looked around for Merlin, hoping he could use that ice cold water and clean him up a bit, cooling his skin for even a brief moment. He felt like he was on fire from the inside.

Merlin was nowhere to be found. Was he outside? Artemis looked around, his eyes fixing on a blond figure standing in the corner of the cabin, facing away from him, perusing through a book.

Artemis rubbed his eyes, to make sure the fever wasn’t making him see things. He had no idea who this person could be… Where was Merlin?

Artemis felt his chest tighten. He didn’t recognize this person whatsoever. Why was he here? Why was Merlin gone?

The person turned to face him, closing the book. “Oh you’re awake.” He said.

Artemis leaned away automatically as the person closed in. His eyes flickered towards the door wondering if, in his current state he would be able to get away in time if this person meant him serious harm. He hadn’t been out of bed for quite some time, not without a lot of assistance from Merlin.

The stranger dipped a rag in some water and handed it to Artemis. “Here.” He said awkwardly. “You should probably clean up.”

_ Clean up for what? _ Artemis dropped the rag beside himself, scooting farther away, wishing the mattress wasn’t positioned right next to the wall. It would be harder to get away if this person had bad intentions towards him. Artemis gulped.

“Are you thirsty?” The stranger asked again. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water. “Here.” He held it up to Artemis’ face. Artemis leaned away from it, despite his thirst and desire to cool off a bit.

He glanced towards the door again sizing up the distance. Maybe Merlin wasn’t too far away…

The stranger misread his face as Artemis gauged when to make a run for it. “Merlin will be back in a few hours. He’s just in town helping some people out. He asked me to stay with you and treat you while he’s gone.” The stranger picked up a vial from the table. “He left me your medicine. Told me you needed to take it when you woke up.”

Was this true? Did Merlin entrust this stranger to watch over him while he was gone?

Artemis searched the man’s face, trying to determine if he was lying.

“You need to clean up.” The stranger said, picking up the soaked rag again. “Here.” He went to wipe Artemis’ face clean.

Artemis clumsily pushed his hand away. He didn’t want a total stranger wiping him down. He took the rag and cleaned the sweat from his face.

The stranger didn’t seem offended. He even looked a little relieved. He offered up the water again once Artemis was cleaned off. Artemis took it, and then downed the medicine.

He moved into a slightly drier spot on the mattress, still giving this stranger a distrusting look, watching his every move as the stranger stood back up and picked up the book again.

Artemis kept his eyes open, watching him closely until he couldn’t stay awake any longer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis awoke three more times. The first time, he immediately looked for where the stranger was now.

He was standing beside the bookshelf, and the book in his hand was none other than Artemis’ journal.

Artemis felt a flurry of emotions all at once, outrage standing out the most. Who did this person think he was, reading through Artemis’ private thoughts and feelings, seeing his sketches and his written conversations with Merlin?

He thumped his arm angrily on the bed, and the stranger jumped, snapping the book shut. “Oh, you’re awake again.” He sounded sheepish, putting the journal away. “Did you want some water?”

Artemis glared at him and the stranger dropped his gaze. “Do you want to clean yourself up again?” He asked.

_ Not even an apology? _ Artemis thought, furious. He would have accepted a half-baked apology, even. Instead, this person couldn’t even muster that up once he’d been caught snooping.

_ Where did Merlin dig this person up from and why would he entrust him to watch me while he’s away? _

Artemis accepted the rag, staring daggers at this person as he wiped his face down, tossing the rag to the ground and rolling onto his side, tiredness taking him over again.

The second time he awoke, Artemis couldn’t see the stranger anywhere. He was both relieved and worried. He really wanted some more water. His throat hurt, it was so parched. He also needed to relieve himself, something he felt more comfortable waiting for Merlin to return to help him out with anyway.

Artemis moved into a different spot on the mattress, falling asleep again, despite his discomfort.

The third time, he awoke to hear Merlin’s voice, much to his joy. He opened his eyes, seeing the stranger standing in front of Merlin as they conversed.

“- No one’s fever has broken.” Merlin sounded dejected. “I’ve instructed the family members and caretakers of the sick to just keep them as cool as possible. Some of them have developed a bad cough, too. I’ll need to see what I can mix up for that.”

“Yeah.” The stranger looked uneasy for whatever reason, balancing on one foot or the other, acting like a nervous horse. What had him acting that way?

“Thank you again, Benjamin.” Merlin said. “I appreciate you looking after him.”

“Of course. Yeah.” The stranger, Benjamin apparently, took a step backwards. Merlin seemed to catch on to his odd behavior.

“Did you… you probably want to get back home before it gets dark.” He said.

Benjamin nodded quickly.” I do. My mother will be expecting me soon.”

“Travel safe.” Merlin gave him a quick smile, which Benjamin did not return, turning and leaving quickly.

“That was… odd.” Merlin muttered, looking over at Artemis. “Did you miss me, love?” He asked, going over to him.

Artemis nodded, reaching out with one moist hand, which Merlin took and squeezed gently. “Let me give you your medicine. Are you thirsty? And did you get to relieve yourself at all while Benjamin was here?”

Merlin gave him his medicine first, letting him wash down the bitter mixture with the water, then helping him outside so he could relieve himself.

Artemis fought the urge to sleep as Merlin flipped over the mattress while he sat at the table “Might need a new mattress after all of this.” He said. “It’s nearly soaked through.”

He helped Artemis back onto the mattress, and Artemis made himself stay awake for a minute or so longer. Merlin leaned in, giving him a soft kiss. “I know I definitely should not kiss you while you’re sick.” He said. “But it’s hard to resist.”

Artemis smiled a little. Merlin stayed crouched beside him, wiping away the sweat from his face and chest. “Are you sure you aren’t even a little bit hungry?”

Artemis shook his head. He had zero desire for any sort of food. His eyes felt too heavy to keep open, falling asleep to Merlin cleaning him off, trying to cool him down.

******************************************************************************

Robin made Simon’s plate for lunch. He had already eaten, and Simon hadn’t come home to eat yet, so he decided to bring it to the forge for him.

He got a large mug of water from the stream, carrying that in one hand while he balanced the plate in the other. He went to the forge, stopping in front of the doorway abruptly when he saw a woman he didn’t recognize inside, standing in front of Simon.

Simon looked past her, looking at Robin. He didn’t say anything, didn’t even motion him inside, just looked at him.

The woman looked back at Robin, looking him up and down, then back at Simon. Without a word, she headed for the door.

Robin stumbled backwards, trying to get out of the way or risk being run over as she pushed her way past him, not sparing him another glance.

That was certainly bizarre. Robin hesitated, watching her go before heading inside.

“Simon. I thought I’d bring you lunch today.” He smiled. Simon didn’t return the smile, but accepted the plate and water, setting them at a small table.

“Who was that woman?” Robin asked.

“Carinna.” Simon said simply.

“She was pretty.” Robin said.

Simon sighed. “Yes.” He picked up the water first and drank some before half-heartedly eating some of the smoked fish on his plate.

There was an awkward silence. Robin wasn’t sure if Simon wanted to be left alone or not. He debated whether or not to leave.

“Thanks.”

“What?”

“For bringing me lunch.” Simon clarified.

“No problem.” Robin said.

Silence filled the room again. “Um. I should head back home. Your horse needs lunch too.” Robin joked, turning to go.

“I was engaged.” Simon said out of nowhere.

“What?” Robin was taken aback by this sudden confession.

“About three years ago. I was engaged to be married.”

“Oh…”

“To Carinna.”

“...Oh….” 

“I thought I was in love with her. I know she was very in love with me. But the second I proposed and she accepted, I knew I had made a horrible mistake, as bad as that sounds.” Simon sighed deeply. “A few months into the engagement, she finally worked out that I was not as enthused about being married to her as she was to me. We had a fight, I admitted I made a mistake proposing to her. She was very,  _ very _ hurt… and I still feel awful about saying that. We broke off the engagement, and she moved away a few months later.” Simon picked at his lunch. “And now… I suppose she is back.”

“Why did she stop by here?” Robin’s head was swimming, trying to process Simon’s story.

Simon cleared his throat. “She wanted to ‘start over’ as it were.” He said hesitantly. “She said she’s missed me the entire time she was away. She wanted to know if we could get back together. Give it another try.”

Robin felt like something was squeezing his heart with a deadly grip. He fought to breathe normally.

Of course it couldn’t have lasted with Simon… He’d want to be with someone who he could be seen with publicly…. someone who could give him children. Robin should have known their relationship couldn’t have gone on forever. And Carinna was a very attractive woman-

“For the love of- Robin you look like you’re about to keel over. Sit.” Simon said exasperatedly, pulling a chair towards Robin. Robin sat down shakily.

“Obviously, I’m not about to jump back into a relationship with Carinna. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever.”

Robin’s head cleared immediately. “Really?”

“For god's sakes, Robin.” Simon rolled his eyes. “Are you really this fragile? Didn’t you hear me say that I made a mistake proposing to her years ago? I’ve barely thought about her in over a year. Especially after meeting you. I’m not hanging on to some old fling.”

“I just thought…” Robin scuffed the dirt floor with his shoe. “You’d want to be with a woman eventually. Someone who could give you children one day.”

Simon shook his head. “Never cared much for children, firstly. Also, I like being with  _ you _ , I don’t care that you’re a man, obviously. I am not about to toss you to the side in favor of marrying a woman. I’m not even sure that I’m the marrying sort.”

Simon took another swig of water as Robin mulled over what he’d just said.

“So,” Simon said, “When she came in here, completely out of the blue, to ask if we could try again, I told her no. I said I was happy where I was at, that I was sorry things ended the way they did between us, and I hoped she could move on like I had.”

“Seems a bit… harsh…”

“Well, I worded it a bit nicer.” Simon backtracked. “But I made it clear we were not going to be able to get back together. I’m quite happy with you, Robin.”

Robin smiled at hearing that. “I’m quite happy with you, too.”

“As you damn well should be.” Simon winked at him. Robin laughed at that.

“So get the idea that you think I would ever toss you to the side out of your head.” Simon ordered, going over and tapping him on the nose. “I like  _ you _ . And only  _ you _ .”

Robin lifted his chin to ask for a kiss and Simon gave it to him.

“Do you think she’ll suspect you’re with me?” Robin asked, after they broke the kiss.

“Doubtful. She never knew I was into men.” Simon said. “So I don’t think she'll immediately jump to that conclusion.”

“Good.”

Simon went back over to his plate to finish his food. “You want to stay here and watch me work?”

As much as Robin loved seeing him work at the forge, he shook his head. “The horse needs food and exercise.”

“Quite right.” Simon conceded. “I’ll see you tonight then.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis felt himself get shaken awake. He huffed his annoyance, trying to get back to sleep.

“Artemis, wake up. It’s important.” He heard Merlin’s voice plead with him.

Artemis forced his eyes open, looking at Merlin.

“Artemis,” Merlin began, “For any reason, any reason at all, did you get my spellbook out while Benjamin was here?”

Artemis shook his head, both irritated and confused by the question. He had no reason to look through the book whatsoever.

“Are you sure?”

Artemis snorted at the question, closing his eyes and laying back against the pillows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin stood up, dragging his fingers through his own hair, looking back at his spellbook on the table.

Before he had left, he had put the spellbook in a large drawstring bag, tying the string in a bow, and tucked it tightly behind the bookshelf.

When he got back, he went to get the spellbook, only to find the drawstring bag was untied, and facing the opposite direction than what Merlin had put it in.

He greatly feared that Benjamin had gone pilfering through their belongings, and discovered the spellbook. It might explain why he was acting so weird when Merlin got back from town.

Merlin went back over to Artemis, waking him up again. “Sorry, love. But I have another question. Did you see Benjamin going through our things at any point? Like… looking at the bookshelf or something?”

Artemis tiredly nodded. Merlin’s stomach twisted. “Was he going through my spellbook?”

Artemis shook his head, then limply raised his right hand up and mimicked writing.

“Your journal? He was going through your journal?” Merlin said, shocked that Benjamin would violate their privacy like that.

Artemis nodded confirmation and went right back to sleep.

If Benjamin read through Artemis’ journal, he might also have figured out that Merlin and Artemis were not cousins, but lovers. It depended on what sort of things Artemis wrote down…

Merlin certainly did not want to also violate Artemis’ privacy, but if Benjamin had read it, Merlin needed to know what sort of things he had discovered.

Looking at Artemis carefully to make sure he was truly sleeping, Merlin picked up the journal, feeling guilty before even opening it.

_ I have to know what sort of things Benjamin may have discovered,  _ He reminded himself.

He opened it up carefully, starting on page one.

Drawings. More drawing on page two. And three. And four. Mostly of animals and flowers. Page five, Artemis had written Merlin’s name over and over, in different scripts. He surrounded Merlin’s name with pretty symbols. It made Merlin smile to see. Then he frowned, feeling another ache in his gut. Benjamin might have seen this… men don’t usually write each other’s names in flowery script over and over again…

Some more drawings, Artemis’ written side of his conversations with Merlin on some of the pages.

A solid attempt to sketch Merlin’s face on a couple of consecutive pages.

A few of Artemis’ private musings... a couple of which regarded Merlin, and turned vaguely sexual...

Pretty damning stuff. If Merlin read Artemis’ lustful thoughts towards him on a normal day, he’d definitely be blushing.

Reading that portion, it was pretty obvious that Artemis has feelings for Merlin to whoever might flip through the diary...

So Benjamin probably knows that not only is Merlin a sorcerer…. but at the very least that Artemis is in love with Merlin… if he hadn’t gone ahead and worked out that they are lovers.

Merlin put the journal away and sat shakily in a chair. This was bad. This was very bad. Some townspeople might forgive the sorcery aspect of Merlin… but he highly doubted anyone would stand for them being together.

Would they be banned from town? Would someone come to try and harm them? 

He watched Artemis as he slept. The thought of anyone coming by to harm him made Merlin’s heart feel like small knives were being twisted in it.

He needed to keep treating the townspeople… as long as they would have him do so… but clearly Benjamin could not be trusted to watch him any longer. And the thought of leaving Artemis alone for hours… if someone heard about their relationship and decided to react while Merlin was away... or if someone decided to attack Merlin while he was in town… There were so many things that could happen if Benjamin told someone what he had discovered. And he probably would.

Merlin shakily got up, laying down beside Artemis, ignoring the dampness of the mattress, spooning him, draping an arm over him.

“I love you, Artemis.” He whispered. “I’m going to make sure we both stay safe.”

******************************************************************************

“I know I’m not very good at it, but give me a chance? Teach me how to be better at it? Please?” Robin sat at the table, dinner plate empty, wine cup drained.

“Robin, I never said you were bad at it-”

“I know you were thinking it, though.” Robin insisted. “I use a bit too much teeth, I think…”

Simon winced. “Yeah, that wasn’t very fun.”

“Walk me through it? I want to be better.”

“I’m fine with you just using your hand. Or just having sex.”

“But I really, really,  _ really _ want to do this. I want to please you entirely in every way.” Robin’s voice became more pleading, clasping his hands together, looking doe-eyed at Simon.

“You already do.”

“Please?” Robin said. “I actually... really like the feel of you in my mouth. I want it again. And I want you to show me the way you like it.”

Simon fiddled with the fork on his plate. “Suppose I could… walk you through it.” He muttered.

Robin beamed. His mouth started to water in anticipation.

“Settle down a bit,” Simon sounded amused. “I said yes, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to go right this instant. Can’t a man digest his dinner first?”

It wasn't for a couple of hours that Simon deemed himself ready, getting himself washed up with a bowl of warmed water and soap. Robin had washed earlier that day, now he waited by the bed with eager anticipation.

Simon dried himself off, standing bare in front of the fireplace. Robin took off his own shirt, tossing it onto the bed. He knelt as soon as Simon headed his way.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself. Stand back up.” Simon commanded. Robin stood, feeling a thrill at Simon’s commanding tone.

“Come to me.” Simon knew how much Robin loved being ordered around and instructed firmly. He never took cruel advantage of it, however. Not like Arthur did.

Simon wrapped one arm firmly around Robin’s waist. “Kiss me.” He said. Robin met his lips excitedly, accidentally going in a bit hard, but easing up at once.

Simon forced his own preferred rhythm onto Robin, making him keep up and follow along. Robin did so, placing his hands on Simon’s chest, pressing against the hard muscles just beneath the skin.

Simon broke the kiss, wordlessly pulling Robin toward his throat, baring it to him.

Robin pressed several needy, sucking kisses to his throat, his neck, going down to his collarbone, stiffening the tip of his tongue and giving it a quick swipe.

“Keep going down.” Simon urged him quietly.

Robin had every intention of doing so, kissing his hot skin all the way down his chest, taking a moment to appreciate the fine layering of hair that covered it, running his fingers down the thick line of dark hair that ran down his stomach, eventually entwining his fingers in the hair surrounding Simon’s impressive endowment.

Robin couldn’t resist pressing a firm kiss to the side of Simon’s cock once he was directly in front of it. He licked a stripe from the base to the tip, thoroughly enjoying the musky, heady scent.

“Someone is enjoying themselves already.” Simon said lightly.

Robin smiled up at him. “And why wouldn’t I be?” He asked, pressing another kiss to the very tip.

“You look good, kneeling in front of me.”

Robin felt a flush go through him. “Do I?” He meant for it to sound simpering, but it came out breathless and ardent.

“You do. Get it all wet with your tongue. Then open your mouth.”

Robin obeyed, the taste of Simon on his tongue intoxicating. He licked broad stripes, constantly rewetting and going at it again, until Simon’s cock glistened with his spit.

Robin sat back a bit, opening his mouth wide. Simon chuckled a bit. “You look like your namesake: a hungry robin.”

Robin rolled his eyes, keeping his mouth open.

Simon slid his cock inside, pressing the underside against Robin’s tongue as he did so. Robin expected him to tell him to close his mouth and suck at once, but Simon took his sweet time, gliding in and out, just barely tapping the back of Robin’s throat when he did.

Even just this little amount of contact was thrilling for Robin, desiring more and more. His breath caught when he imagined the future image of Simon thrusting relentlessly into his mouth, thinking about how it was going to feel, taste…

“Close your lips around it. Keep your teeth covered.” Simon said at last. Robin hesitated at the instruction, but followed as best he could.

Simon experimentally moved in and out before pausing. “Cover your teeth with your lips.” He said.

Robin tried it.

“That’s a bit better.” Simon said. “You’ll get better with more practice.”

The promise of doing this again in the future was thrilling and he wasn’t even finished with the first session yet.

Simon moved in and out, the wet drag and salty taste of his cock making Robin moan intermittently.

“Keep making that noise. Feels good.” Simon sounded like he was thoroughly enjoying this as well.

Robin started to suck without any instruction from Simon to do so. He was so desperate to taste more of Simon that he couldn’t stop himself.

Simon swore. “Robin, that’s so good.” He praised.

Robin blinked up at him, acknowledging the praise.

Simon’s cock was rock hard, invading, pressing harder against the back of Robin’s throat, causing him to gag a bit. Robin couldn’t get enough of it all, wanting and needing every last sensation and taste Simon could give him. He wiggled his tongue around, somewhat awkwardly, wanting to feel every bit of him.

Robin felt Simon grab his hair and pull a little, causing him to gasp and groan.

“I’m going to cum soon and you’re going to swallow it, aren’t you?”

Robin gasped again and nodded, hands going to grab Simon’s hips.

“Such an eager boy.”

“Mmph.” Robin replied.

Done with Simon’s pace and wanting to set his own, Robin bobbed his head up and down, slurping as he tried to keep sucking. He felt Simon release his hair and curve his hand against the side of his neck gently.

“Not so fast,” Simon muttered, his voice laced with pleasure. “Slow down just a bit. There we go. And keep your teeth covered. That’s it. Mm.”

Spurred on by Simon’s words, Robin followed along as best he could. He especially made sure his teeth weren’t scraping Simon, something he worried about most of all.

Simon pulled out with a ‘ _ pop _ ’, and Robin gave an embarrassing whimper.

But Simon shushed him kindly and encouraged him to open his mouth again, taking his own cock in hand and stroking it quickly and evenly. Robin excitedly held his mouth open wide, watching Simon’s movements, desiring the taste of him on his tongue.

Simon’s chest heaved rapidly, his strokes got messier… and then he came with a gasp, the first shot landing directly into Robin’s watering mouth.

Robin jolted at the taste and feel at first. It was warm and a bit salty. He decided he definitely liked it, although he barely had time to savor it as the rest of Simon’s seed landed in warm splatters along his lips and chin. Robin leaned in, sucking the tip clean once Simon’s orgasm was finished, flicking it with the tip of his tongue until Simon pulled it away.

Simon exhaled, taking a step back. “I wish there were a way to forever capture exactly how you look right this moment.” He said, breathless. “Stay there. I want you to see yourself.”

Robin obeyed, even though his knees ached as he kneeled on the floor.

Simon grabbed his small, round mirror, holding it up to Robin. “Take a look.”

Robin blinked in surprise at his own face before him. Half of his hair stuck up where Simon had grabbed it. His lips were swollen, and redder than they had ever been. Simon’s seed clung to his lips and chin in glistening rivulets. He licked at the corner of his mouth, humming his delight at the taste. His cheeks were flushed and his pupils were still full-blown with arousal and need.

“Beautiful sight isn’t it?” Simon asked, smirking at him. Robin used his thumb to wipe some seed off of his chin and sucked it clean.

“Did you really like it?” He asked Simon fretfully. “I did good?”

“You did. Much better than last time.”

“Not too much teeth?”

“No. It was a vast improvement. Let me get you a wet cloth to wipe your face down with.”

Simon set the mirror down and went to wet a cloth as Robin continued to clean his chin with his fingers, popping his digits in his mouth and sucking them clean, licking his lips, wanting to get everything.

Simon knelt in front of him with the cloth, and started wiping him clean. “You look very lovely right now.” He said before kissing him briefly.

“My jaw hurts.”

“Don’t doubt it.” Simon tossed the rag to the side, and grabbed Robin’s own aching arousal quickly through his breeches. Robin moaned and shivered. “Let’s take care of this, shall we?” Simon said, before helping Robin stand and encouraging him to get in bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What if… What if I said to you… that… I didn’t want to do this any longer…? Like not  _ this _ , obviously.” Robin stumbled over his words, wrapped up in the solid embrace of Simon arms, face pressed against his chest. “I like being held by you. I really do. But if I decided tomorrow that I never wanted to have sex again… would you still be in a relationship with me?”

Simon was silent for a couple of minutes and Robin feared he had made him angry. “Do you not want to do things with me anymore, Robin?” Simon said softly.

“I didn't say that. I asked hypothetically. If I decided I didn’t want to anymore… What would you do?” Robin held his breath, anxiously awaiting the reply.

“I guess… I’d be disappointed. I like being intimate with you. But if you didn’t want it anymore, I wouldn’t force the issue. I’d respect it. It would be hard though.”

“You wouldn’t kick me out?”

“Kick you out? No.” Simon said incredulously. “Why would I do that? I liked your company before we were lovers and I like it now. Even without the sexual aspect of it.”

“I like doing things with you. I’d never want to stop.” Robin whispered.

“Then why did you bring up that scenario?”

“I wanted to be sure you really liked me for me. And not because we do things together.”

Simon laughed kindly. “Robin, you really are ridiculous sometimes.” He ruffled Robin’s hair.

“I know.” Robin snuggled up closer. “I get worried sometimes.”

“You shouldn’t be. I like you very, very much. For a lot of different reasons. I can’t fathom a single scenario where I would kick you out. You’re a part of my life now. A very important part. I love being with you. If you ever did decide you never wanted to have sex ever again, it wouldn’t change how I feel.”

“I really like you too, Simon. You’re very good to me.”

Simon kissed the top of his head.

“I think I just get worried… that this won’t last.” Robin admitted in a small voice. “That I’ll mess up somehow, somewhere. Make you upset with me. Then you won’t want me around anymore-”

“I can swear to you that won’t happen.” Simon vowed. “My feelings for you aren’t quite so fickle.”

“I just think about it sometimes-”

“Keep those kinds of thoughts out of your head.” Simon said in that firm tone that made Robin’s heart flutter. “I  _ like _ you, Robin. That’s the beginning and end of it. I like your company, I like talking to you, waking up and going to bed with you. I like  _ this _ quite a lot, too-” Simon quickly squeezed his backside playfully and Robin squeaked and laughed. “- So rest assured, I’m not going to tire of you, or change my mind so easily about you.”

Robin closed his eyes, running Simon’s words through his mind. He tried to push away the harsh memories of Arthur’s quick temper and cruel actions, squeezing his eyes shut tighter at the memories of Arthur’s past treatment of him. One minute, letting Robin be close and speaking intimately with him, kissing him… the next, striking him, shouting at him, forcing him to engage in things Robin didn’t want but didn’t have the courage to deny him. The after-effects of how Arthur treated him still affected Robin greatly.

_ Simon is nothing like Arthur _ , Robin repeated to himself for the millionth time.  _ He’s not. You’re not with Arthur anymore. You’re safe with Simon _ .

Robin exhaled, relaxing as Simon rubbed his back soothingly. “Thank you, Simon.” He murmured.

Simon said nothing, holding him close, petting him lovingly, making sure he knew he was loved and protected.

******************************************************************************

Merlin stroked Artemis’ hair, ignoring how dirty it had gotten during the days he had been ill. “You really were hungry, weren’t you love? You didn’t eat the entire time you were sick.”

Artemis was polishing off his third serving of porridge, occasionally stuffing some dried fruit in his mouth and draining yet another glass of water.

“We’ll get you washed up in the lake. You must be dying for a bath.” Merlin said.

He had been awoken that morning by Artemis, whose fever had broken at some point during the night. He was completely alert and lucid, albeit famished and sticky from the sweat residue…

Merlin grabbed him some fresh clothes, and gathered up the soap, cloths, and towel as soon as Artemis had eaten his fill.

Merlin went with him to the lake, sitting on the edge, watching Artemis wade in and get himself thoroughly wet, dunking his head underwater.

Normally, he would be enjoying the sight of Artemis standing waist deep in the lake, watching the small water droplets cling to his skin, but his mind was preoccupied. He worried about what Benjamin might have told everyone, whether or not people would believe him, what sort of actions they might take against Merlin and Artemis….

Artemis finished bathing, going to lay beside Merlin, lazily drying himself off with a towel. He lightly nudged Merlin with his shoulder, as if to make sure he was okay.

“Sorry, Artemis. My mind is just all over the place today.” Merlin muttered, putting a reassuring hand on his leg. “Are you feeling better now?”

Artemis nodded, scrubbing his hair dry with the towel.

“We’ll probably have to replace that mattress…” Merlin mused, observing Artemis, torn between telling him that Merlin’s magic and their relationship may have been discovered and making him scared and worried, or saying nothing and keeping Artemis worry-free, leaving Merlin to stew in his troubled thoughts by himself…

But leaving Artemis out of the loop on what had happened would not help him out, Merlin knew. The fact of the matter was, they  _ might  _ be in some kind of danger if the wrong person found out their secrets. Keeping Artemis in the dark was not going to change anything. He couldn’t be kept any more safe if he was in the dark about the whole thing.

“Artemis... love….” Merlin began, trying to think of the best way to start the bad news. “I don’t know how much you remember from when I had Benjamin watch you yesterday, or if you saw anything… I know you said you saw him going through your journal-” Artemis nodded. “-But… I have reason to believe he may have discovered my spellbook.”

Artemis became serious, his eyes slowly drifting downward like the gravity of the situation was sinking in. He chewed on his bottom lip as Merlin continued.

“Obviously, I’m not breaking any law by practicing magic in this kingdom, but some people still treat it like a crime and distrust sorcerers. I don't know how many people Benjamin might have told, or what their reaction might be to it, but we need to remain vigilant and alert to the possibility some might not accept it so readily.” It pained Merlin even as he said it, that he might be once again treated like an outcast by a new town he had felt safe and accepted in previously. And that Artemis might be mistreated by association.

“And also… seeing as how he read your journal… depending on what you might have written in your journal, and how much Benjamin might have read, it’s entirely possible he might have worked out that we are lovers as well…” Merlin added reluctantly. No matter their views of magic, even if every citizen in town decided to accept that, the chances of them accepting Merlin and Artemis’ relationship was slim to none.

Artemis went pale. Merlin couldn’t break his trust by letting him know he had already flipped through Artemis’ journal to check if he had anything that showed they had a relationship. So he innocently asked, “Have you ever written anything in your journal that might reveal our relationship?”

Artemis nodded slowly, unable to look at Merlin, like he was ashamed.

“It’s alright. It’s not your fault.” Merlin sighed deeply. “I shouldn’t have trusted him. I just thought… I didn’t think he would go snooping through our things like that. If I thought there was even a possibility of him going through our personal things… No way would I have let him stay in the cabin.”

Merlin laid back on the ground, covering his eyes with one arm. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You know that. But I need to deliver more of the medicine into town tomorrow. I gave the sick enough medicine yesterday to last into today, but tomorrow I’ll need to face the music, as it were. I don’t want to leave you here… But you must still be weak from your illness. I can’t force you to walk the hour to town, and be there for who knows how long. But I’m scared to leave you alone here, even though you should be resting up as much as possible… I’m not sure what to do in that case...”

Artemis sat cross-legged beside him, still not looking at him.

“Are you upset with me? For trusting Benjamin?”

Artemis slowly shook his head.

“Are you thinking about what he may have seen in your journal?”

Artemis nodded, starting to chew on a fingernail.

Merlin reached over with one hand and squeezed his thigh comfortingly. “Maybe I could enchant it? Make it to where it only opens for you? I can search through my spellbook for something like that. So nothing like this happens again.” It was a half-hearted solution, and one Merlin wasn’t even sure he could do, but it perked Artemis up a bit.

“I want you to feel safe putting all of your thoughts on paper. I don’t want you to feel like you should keep anything bottled up inside because someone might see it.” Merlin told him. “I’ll seek out Benjamin tomorrow. I’ll talk to him about what he may have seen. See who all he may have told… We’ll go from there.”

Artemis seemed to agree. Merlin took his hand and held it. “Kiss me?” He requested softly. His eyes shut as Artemis complied.

“I missed you, my love. The entire time you were sick. I missed having you by my side, talking to you… You are such a good companion to me.” Merlin received another kiss. He cupped Artemis’ face, looking into those deep, brown eyes when they broke the kiss. “Let’s try to put it out of our heads for the rest of the day. Go ahead and get dressed. We can check the traps for some food.”

Merlin put on a pleasant smile to ease Artemis’ own worries, despite knowing he was going to be stressing and fretting until he was in town tomorrow.

******************************************************************************

Arthur stared out into the courtyard, which was only illuminated by the moonlight.

He should have been asleep ages ago, but he couldn’t bring himself to sleep.

He dug his fingers into the window ledge, squeezing his eyes shut. He found himself more and more distracted every day, thinking about Elias, how his hunt for Merlin was coming along, when he would return so Arthur could fetch Merlin, bringing him home, keeping him safe in his chambers, away from any who would try to take him away.

Merlin would probably have to be chained up first. Nothing too drastic. Maybe a cuff around the ankle or something. The chain would be long enough to allow him enough room to get some exercise, but not too long to where he could reach a door or window. Just until Merlin realized he was meant to stay with Arthur. Until he realized how ridiculous he had been to be with that little trollop he’d run off with. Once he had Arthur’s trust, he would be unchained. Given little bits of freedom here and there.

“You can’t relapse like this. Your father will begin to worry.” Arthur heard the voice of Merlin behind him. He couldn't bring himself to turn around.

“I know you aren’t real.” Arthur whispered. The visions of Merlin, which had once brought him comfort and peace, tormented him now. He couldn’t get too close or the apparition would vanish. He couldn’t touch him, as he craved so much to do.

“Arthur, you must remain strong. If your father suspects you aren’t well again-”

“Be quiet.” Arthur tried to snap, but it came out weak and feeble. “I’ve heard your warnings and promises day in and day out. I’m tired of it. Leave me be.”

“You must get some rest.” The vision insisted.

“I  _ can’t _ .” Arthur's voice caught. “How can I go to sleep, knowing I’ll dream of you again? Knowing I’ll have to wake up alone again, without you? I haven’t had a dreamless night in… I don’t even know how long. The dreams of you are torture to me now. They remind me of what I don’t have.”

“They are promises. Promises of what is to come. You should find comfort in them.”

“But I don’t. And I won’t know comfort and peace until you are truly, physically here, by my side. Until Elias sends word of where you are.”

“Listen to me, Arthur. The court will begin to whisper if you continue to act distracted again. If you start to lose sleep over it. Then it won’t matter when Elias finds me. Your father will have lost his trust in you. It will take a long time to build it up again, you can bet on that. It will only delay things further. Don’t be afraid to sleep, to dream of us. It’s there to remind you of what it will be like. They are not dreams to torment you, but promises. Promises of the wonderful days to come, when I am with you again.”

Arthur unclenched his hands from the windowsill, letting Merlin’s words sink in. “Of course you are right.” He murmured.

“You should get some sleep. Don’t give anyone a reason not to trust you, or believe you are unwell. Be strong, Arthur. This will all be over soon.”


	31. Chapter 31

Artemis watched Merlin pack the vials of medicine into his satchel. Merlin seemed to be lost in thought, having said barely anything to Artemis all morning.

Merlin had been preparing the medicine all last evening, which Artemis had to find commendable, considering the attitude towards them might have changed if Benjamin had indeed found out about Merlin’s magic and/or his and Merlin’s relationship. There was every chance that he might not find the town as welcoming and kind as before.

And yet he worked into the night tirelessly, long after Artemis had laid down. Artemis was nearly asleep by time Merlin blew out all the candles and came to bed, spooning Artemis from behind like he usually did. Artemis could feel the tension and worry radiate from him without having to look.

This morning, he seemed tired and spoke very little, getting everything ready to go.

“Are you sure you want to come with me?” Merlin made sure. “You need your rest.”

Truth be told, Artemis was scared. He was scared he would enter the town and be met with hostility and hate. He was scared he would be scorned for his love for Merlin, if it had been discovered. He was scared Merlin would be ostracized and rejected for his magic. He was scared of walking into town like he had a hundred times before and finding that people he had previously thought of as friends suddenly despised him and Merlin.

But if something had changed, if the townspeople were going to be cruel and reject them now, he didn’t want Merlin facing it alone.

Artemis pointedly stood and slid his boots on.

“If you’re sure…” Merlin slung the satchel over his shoulder and followed Artemis to the door.

It was nearly an hour’s walk to the town, and Merlin was silent almost the entire way. Artemis wanted him to say something, anything. He usually prattled on and on and true, sometimes Artemis tuned him out, but now he missed the endless chatter, and was bored of the quiet. He nudged Merlin, getting closer, matching his steps, looking up at him, hoping it would encourage Merlin to say something.

Merlin looked down at him, and gave a quick smile that didn’t reach his eyes, putting an arm around Artemis’ shoulders and giving him a quick squeeze. He still said nothing.

Artemis understood the worry very well. Merlin being outed as a sorcerer would be bad to say the least, considering people did not often react well to them, but Artemis was more worried about the town finding out about their relationship. People  _ might  _ accept the magic. Practically no one would condone their relationship.

Artemis inwardly cursed Benjamin for snooping through their belongings. The idea of Benjamin reading his journal, his innermost thoughts, was both mortifying and enraging. Artemis mostly drew pictures and sometimes used it to converse with Merlin, sure, but he definitely wrote down some very private musings, and some…. explicit things about Merlin that made his face flush red to remember. If Benjamin had read those…. Artemis felt sick at the thought. He would be embarrassed at  _ Merlin  _ reading the thoughts he had about him, let alone a stranger coming across them. His only hope was that Benjamin hadn’t gotten very far when Artemis caught him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin felt like there were rocks in his stomach. He looked down at Artemis, who seemed to be struggling to keep up with his pace. Merlin slowed down a little, albeit it reluctantly. He just wanted to get it over with.

Had Benjamin told?

If he hadn’t, was he planning on it?

If he had, what sort of reception would he and Artemis get?

If they knew about his sorcery, Merlin expected a very mixed reaction. Certainly some hostility. He went through a list of people in his mind that he assumed/hoped would still be friendly to him in light of the news.

If they knew about him and Artemis…. He could toss any hope of being accepted out the window. He got lucky with Gaius being hesitantly alright with it. Practically no one was accepting that sort of relationship.

Merlin didn’t want to have to leave his new home if things went south, if things proved to be too hostile towards him and Artemis. He liked it here. He loved his home. It was the home he’d promised Artemis. He couldn’t bear uprooting and having to find a new home. They’d struck gold with this town. They were happy here.

_ Please, please don’t have told anyone, _ Merlin silently prayed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They walked into town. Merlin wondered if the residents could tell he was tense and wary. If anyone could, they didn’t let on.

People still smiled at him as they walked by. No one seemed ill at ease. No one said anything to him besides a friendly greeting as they passed.

Merlin was still too uptight to relax just yet. He looked down at Artemis, who also seemed a bit surprised at the lack of reaction to them. He even looked a little hopeful.

“Let’s start with the rounds.” Merlin said after clearing his throat. “Gregor is first. Come on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis was only with him for his first three visits. After that, they ran into Colleen, who was dying to catch up with Artemis and requested he come with her so they could.

Artemis seemed eager to go with her, and so Merlin let him, telling him he would meet him at Colleen’s place when Merlin was done with his rounds.

Colleen still seemed friendly. So did the three households they’d visited together. Merlin started to hope a bit. Benjamin might not have told…

Some people have recovered from the illness. Others were the same. A few had worsened. Merlin doled out medicine, letting each family and the sick know that Artemis and some others around town had made a full recovery, so there was no reason they shouldn’t as well. It definitely lifted the spirits of the families affected to hear about the recoveries. At least this illness wasn’t proving fatal.

After visiting his last patient, Merlin stepped out into the warm air and took a deep breath.

It was time to go see Benjamin.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He found Benjamin where he expected to; at his home. Benjamin was outside with his mother, Helen. Benjamin was chopping wood right out front, and his mother was grabbing the little stacks he made and carrying them around back to store them.

Helen paused when she saw him, and Merlin saw something flicker in her eyes. Merlin’s heart sank a little.

Benjamin startled when he saw Merlin, faltering mid-swing with the axe. He slowly lowered the axe to the ground.

Merlin attempted a friendly smile that Benjamin did not return. “Hello, Benjamin. How are things today?”

Benjamin didn’t reply right away, looking over at his mother. “It’s... good.” He said slowly.

“Could I speak with you privately for a moment?” Merlin tried to keep the same lighthearted, friendly tone.

Helen’s shoulders tensed up. “What for?” She said, almost snapping the words.

“I just wanted to ask him something.”

“I’m sure it’s alright, Mother.” Benjamin said, not sounding too sure himself. “It’s only Merlin.”

His mother held the pieces of freshly chopped wood tighter to herself. “As long as you stay right in front of the house where I can see you.” She said. Merlin wasn’t sure if she was talking about Benjamin staying in her line of sight, or Merlin.

Merlin tried to keep an upbeat tone and friendly face, despite the sinking feeling in his stomach. “It’ll only be a minute. I just had a couple of quick questions.”

“I’ll be right inside, then. I’ll be keeping an eye out.” Again, Merlin couldn’t be sure if that was supposed to be a warning for him or a reassurance for Benjamin.

Helen carried the wood inside, the door slamming behind her.

Benjamin balanced the axe handle against his leg. “What did you want to ask me?”

“When you were watching Artemis for me a few days ago… Uh, well…” Merlin started over. “I had a book I stored behind the bookshelf.” Benjamin looked away. “And… When I went to get in after you left and I came back, it looked like it had been moved.”

“Yeah.” Benjamin said dully. Merlin wasn’t sure if he could take that as a confession or not.

“Did you move it? Did you look at it?”

“I was curious.” Benjamin mumbled.

“You know what it was?”

“Yes.” Benjamin forced himself to look at Merlin. “It was a book of spells.”

“It was given to me.” Merlin said, trying to make the lie as convincing as possible. “Years ago. By a relative. It was dear to them and they wanted me to have it. So… I took it. But I’ve never used the book myself. I just can’t bear to get rid of the old thing. Hence, why it’s behind the bookshelf.”

He could instantly tell Benjamin didn’t buy it. “There was a dedication on the first page.” Benjamin said slowly. “It said it was given to you by Artemis as a gift. The date said it was earlier this year…”

Merlin completely forgot Artemis wrote that there for him. He faltered a bit, feeling a bit stupid for his lie. “I- Fine.” He took a deep breath. “I practice magic. Alright? I just… I know how people feel about it. Which is why I keep it under wraps. I don’t want people to be afraid of me. I’ve never once used my magic to hurt people.” Merlin insisted, pushing away the image of the deceased slave traders that popped up. “I’ve only ever used it to help people.”

Benjamin was silent, staring at the pile of unchopped wood. Merlin wished he knew what he was thinking.

“Have you told anyone?” Merlin asked.

“No.” Benjamin chewed his lip. “Just my mother.”

“And has she told anyone else?”

“My aunts. Then she told Alaina… But they’ve been friends for years, so that was to be expected. I think she told that one man who runs the pastry shop. He may have told his wife. Um. Oh and she told my sister as well.”

“And… do you know how they reacted?”

“One of my aunts didn’t believe her. The other did. Not sure about the others.”

“Why did you tell?”

Benjamin looked surprised at the question. “Well I- I’m not sure. I was shocked. I didn’t think you could ever be a sorcerer. I was a little scared. I needed to tell someone what I saw.”

“Why would you be scared? You  _ know  _ me. Your mother knows me. The whole town does. Do you all truly believe that I could do any harm to any of you?

Merlin hadn’t intended to sound as emotional as he did, but it poured out with his words. These people were important to him. He cared  _ so much _ about them. The idea that a single one would think that just because he practiced magic, he would turn on them like that… It pained him.

Benjamin actually looked sympathetic. “I- I don’t know. I don’t know a lot about sorcery. Just what I’ve been told. My mother… she doesn’t like it. Doesn’t trust it.”

“She trusted me before.”

“I know.”

Merlin sighed deeply, looking into the house. It was too dark to see inside through the window,, but he imagined Helen somewhere inside, peeking out to check on him every once in a while, like he might hurt her son. That thought also pained him. She no longer thought he was any good now that she knew of his sorcery.

“Benjamin… I want you to tell your mother… Tell her I have been and alway will take care of the people of this town as long as I can. My practicing of magic doesn’t change who I am. I am still the same person I was before she learnt of the magic. Tell her that.”

“I will.” Benjamin said, sounding sincere.

“You believe me, don’t you? Magic doesn’t make me an evil person. I hope you understand that.”

“I was just scared.” Benjamin repeated. “When I saw the book. I have heard so many stories-”

“I’m sure you have.”

“- But I couldn’t imagine  _ you  _ doing anything like what I’ve heard.”

“Magic is a neutral force. There is no evil in magic, only in the hearts of men. And I could never use it for evil. I want to help people. That is it’s true purpose.”

Benjamin was silent for a while. Then he nodded slowly. “I want to trust that that is true.”

“I will make sure to never break that trust.” Merlin swore. “Tell your mother. Tell anyone who she told. I am only ever going to protect them.”

Benjamin nodded.

Merlin almost went to leave, until he remembered the other thing.

“Also, at the cabin… Artemis told me he saw you looking through his journal…”

Benjamin looked embarrassed. “Yeah. A bit. I swear I didn’t know, though.”

“Know what?”

“That it was a journal. I thought it was a sketchbook. I opened the first page and saw only drawings.”

“And then?”

“I kept flipping, and I only saw drawings. Then when I saw words, I skimmed a few and realized it was a journal entry. And I stopped.”

“You swear that that’s true? You stopped after only reading one entry?”

“I swear.”

“Those are Artemis’ private thoughts. He was upset that you might have read it.”

“I’m sorry, I really am.” Benjamin said. “I only read a bit. It wasn’t too bad. Nothing too personal, I hope. I honestly thought it was just a sketchbook at first.”

“Alright then.” Merlin felt a weight lift from him. He wanted to smile from the relief of it all, but held it back.

Benjamin hadn’t learned they were lovers. That secret was at least safe. Artemis would be thrilled to hear it.

“I guess I should get Artemis and head back.” Merlin said. “It’s getting hotter by the minute.”

“Yeah.”

“Take care, Benjamin.”

“Will you tell Artemis I’m sorry?” Benjamin said suddenly, glancing away again. “I hope he’s not too upset with me.”

“I’ll make sure he knows you meant no harm and no harm was done.” Merlin smiled reassuringly at him.

“Thanks.”

******************************************************************************

“Do you think Merlin and I look alike?”

Simon looked up from where he was sharpening a dagger he’d finished that afternoon.” Come again?” He asked.

“Merlin. Do you think he and I look alike?”

“You both have black hair and blue eyes.” Simon said after looking Robin over for a minute. “That’s where the similarities end. Why do you ask?”

Robin fidgetted as he watched Simon resume his task of sharpening the blade. “Do you think he’s attractive?”

“Attractive enough, I suppose. You’re not getting some notion in your head that I’m planning on discarding you for him, are you?”

“No, of course not.” Robin rolled his eyes. “It’s just that a while ago, someone told me that he and I could be brothers. He said we looked really similar.”

“Meh.” Simon said.

“‘Meh’ as in…”

“As in I disagree.”

“Ah.”

“You been thinking about those two recently or something? Merlin and Artemis?”

“Kind of.”

“Do  _ you  _ think Merlin is attractive then?”

“I do, actually.”

“Hm. Do I need to worry?” Simon smirked at him. Robin returned the playful look. Simon knew well enough that Robin was too head-over-heels for him to consider a relationship with someone else.

“You don’t need to worry.” Robin said needlessly. “You know how I am about you.”

“Yeah. I know.” Simon tested the blade before setting it down.

“Why the dagger?” Robin asked.

“To sell it, of course.” Simon answered.

“It’s for someone?”

“Not yet. Made it for fun. But someone will want it eventually.” Simon leaned back and looked towards the fire. A comfortable silence settled for some time.

“Artemis is cute.”

“What?” Robin asked.

“If we’re comparing the two, I prefer Artemis. He’s quite the looker.”

Robin blinked. “He’s a bit… plain, don’t you think?”

“No.” Simon said, still watching the fire. “I think he’s gorgeous. He’s got this innocence about him. When we were in the tavern, all of us together, he would get this far-away look in his face, like he was elsewhere in his own world. It intrigued me.”

“Mm.”

“And he’s got this sort of… look in his eyes. I wanted to know exactly what he was thinking at every given moment. I wish he weren’t mute. He’s probably got so much to say, locked inside.” Simon seemed contemplative and even a tad melancholy speaking about it. “Merlin is lucky to have him. I hope he knows that.”

Robin folded his hands in his lap. He tried to fight back the jealousy at hearing the longing way Simon spoke of Artemis.

“You’d have sex with him then?” Robin tried to sound casual, like it didn’t matter, like the thought of Simon being with someone else didn’t drive him mad. But his words came out sharp and accusatory. He even winced when he heard himself.

Simon turned towards him, shocked at the sudden change in Robin’s tone. “Not while I’m with you, Robin. And not while he’s with Merlin. I’m not that sort of fellow. You should know that by now.”

“Sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize.” Simon sighed. “I get it. I shouldn’t have spoken about him like that. It was wrong of me. It was unfair to you.”

“I know you wouldn’t be unfaithful to me.”

“Obviously.” Simon said. “I’ve struck gold with you. I’d be some kind of a daft fool to throw that away.”

Robin smiled at hearing that. “I know that, too.”

Simon snorted but smiled as well. “Moving on from that, been thinking about what you said a few days ago.”

“What was that?”

“About your little kink you admitted to me.”

“Oh. That.” Robin fidgetted. “You think it’s too weird?”

“Not weird. Can’t even say it was unexpected, knowing what I know about you. I just had to think about it.”

“And what did you think?”

“I’m willing to try it.” Robin’s heart leapt in his chest. “Safely, of course. I don’t want anything getting out of hand.”

“Of course.” Robin couldn’t keep the joy out of his tone.

“Maybe we could discuss it more tonight? Try it out in a few nights?”

“Yeah. I’d love that.”

Simon got up out of his chair and went over to Robin, encouraging him to stand up. He kissed Robin softly, then a second time, harsh and demanding like he knew Robin liked. “I want to make you happy. You know that.” Simon said after they broke apart.

“I do. And you definitely make me happy.” Robin rested a hand on Simon’s chest. “Is there anything you like? That you want to try?”

“A few things.” Simon said. “Not sure if you would be into any of them.”

“Try me.”

Simon considered him for a moment. “I like it when you beg.”

He was silent for a while after to the point that Robin had to goad him. “... And? Do you want me to beg more?”

“Not… quite.” Simon cupped Robin’s cheek. “I want to keep you on edge until you’re begging me to the point of tears for release.” He stroked Robin’s cheekbone with one thumb. “I want to see that pretty cock of yours straining and weeping as I continue to tease it and you’re crying out and pleading with me to let you cum.”

Simon’s voice was even and his words were straightforward and blunt. His dark brown eyes didn’t leave Robin’s the entire time he spoke.

Robin could feel his cock take interest. “Do you think I could hold out that long?” He asked, voice laced with arousal.

“You could. I’d make you.”

Robin half-moaned and Simon kissed him again. “You’re so easy to arouse, Robin.”

“I know.”

“I like that.”

“I know.” Robin smiled at him and received another kiss.

“You want that, then?” Simon checked. “We could try it?”

“I’d love to try. Especially if you’re willing to try my thing.”

“Oh, I am.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis sketched a wildflower in his journal as Merlin laid across from him, lazily finishing up the rest of his lunch.

They decided to eat lunch in the meadow since it was a lovely, breezy day out. Artemis also thought of it as a sort of celebration that their relationship was still a secret from the townspeople.

He had been on pins and needles, terrified of the reaction people would have to finding out they were lovers. When Merlin came by to fetch Artemis from Colleen’s place and informed him on their way back that, even though Merlin’s secret was out, their relationship was still safe, Artemis had grinned from ear to ear, the stomachache he’d had for days suddenly gone.

He could tell Merlin was still a little stressed about people knowing that he practiced magic, but personally, Artemis felt at ease about it.

The way he saw it, sorcerers were often feared, and if someone feared him, they wouldn’t try to come near him, so they could do no harm. And if they were ok with sorcery, well… then there was no problem at all.

Artemis smiled to himself, imagining someone actually being afraid of Merlin. Granted, he may have been at first, but Merlin proved himself trustworthy and good time and time again, without fail. Artemis trusted him entirely. In time, he would gain the trust of any who doubted him, Artemis was sure of it.

“What are you smiling about?” Merlin asked playfully.

Artemis shook his head, like it wasn’t important, and then showed him the sketch.

“Nice.” Merlin said. “You get better every day.”

Artemis set the journal down and snuggled up close to Merlin. He nuzzled Merlin’s neck and kissed his jaw.

Merlin took Artemis’ hand and closed it into a fist gently, holding it in his own hand. “Remember how I said before I wish you could learn magic?” He asked.

Artemis nodded.

“This is pretty close.” Merlin then whispered a magical spell against Artemis’ fist and Artemis shivered, then gasped as he felt something in his fist.

“Open it. Quick.”

Artemis did so, sucking in air sharply. A butterfly flexed it’s blue wings in his palm. He stared at it, mesmerized and full of wonder until it flew away.

“What did you think?” Merlin said with a smile.

Artemis wasn’t sure. Feeling the magic settle on his skin and create a new life made his head spin trying to comprehend it. But there was such a thrill at the feeling as well, and he was filled with a sense of wonderment at how such a thing was possible.

He stared at his own palm where the butterfly had been created just moments ago. Merlin laced his fingers through Artemis’ and kissed his knuckles, then the back of his hand. Artemis met his gaze and smiled at him.

“I’ve been practicing that one for a while. Casting it into someone else’s hand was a challenge, but I’m glad it worked.” Merlin stroked Artemis’ cheek. “I’m so glad you decided to accept me, Artemis. I have no idea what I would have done without you…”

Artemis wasn’t sure what  _ he  _ would have done without  _ Merlin _ . Merlin had been basically watching out for him since they met, and their lives were so interwoven now that Artemis felt lost even imagining a life without him.

Merlin kissed him, slow and delicate. Artemis felt his heart flutter as Merlin ran his knuckles down Artemis’ face, gently cupping his chin.

“Let’s pick up here.” Merlin whispered. “Let’s go home. I need you in our bed. I have so much love I want to show you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These moments were perfect, Artemis thought. His fingers dug into Merlin’s shoulders. He stared into Merlin’s face, wide-eyed and his expression one of pure lust and need.

Merlin had Artemis’ legs wrapped around his waist, driving his cock into him rhythmically, every thrust pushing Artemis further up the mattress, pressing him into it.

Artemis’ throat was sore from panting and swallowing, his muscles shook with the effort of holding onto Merlin so tightly that Artemis wondered if Merlin was in pain. If he was, he didn’t show it.

Merlin’s blue eyes were hazy with arousal, his lips parted slightly as he took in the sight of Artemis beneath him.

Artemis wanted to be on his back, a rare thing. He wanted to stare up at Merlin’s perfect face, taking in everything, seeing every facial expression as Merlin groaned and grunted and sighed Artemis’ name.

Artemis nearly always had a difficult time on his back as they made love. Closing his eyes for too long, he risked envisioning the men who tormented him years ago. It was no longer Merlin, with his loving strokes and soft panting, making love to him, being as gentle and careful as possible. It was those men, with the grime under their nails, the rotten breath, and the jeers and bruising grips on his hips and limbs…

The only thing Artemis could do to avoid seeing them in his mind’s eye was to keep watching Merlin. Take in his words, his expression, watch his muscles tense, his limbs twitch as he thrust in and out of Artemis, keeping an even rhythm and whispering sweet words and encouragement to Artemis. It kept him grounded, it kept him at ease.

_ It’s Merlin _ . Artemis would remind himself anytime his eyes fluttered closed and the images of those men threatened to come up.  _ Merlin loves me. Merlin would never hurt me. _

Artemis let go of Merlin’s shoulders, somewhat unwillingly, and took his own cock in hand and stroked himself to completion, his legs trembling and his mouth hanging open as he covered his own stomach in his seed.

He collapsed back against the mattress, hearing Merlin quietly praise him, telling him how beautiful he looks, how much he loves him… And then Artemis gasps as that familiar rush of heat floods into him, and Merlin is groaning and shaking from the force of his orgasm.

He feels Merlin kiss him, and he tiredly returns the kiss, pulling Merlin down beside him, curling up onto him. Normally, he loved the aftercare, when Merlin would lovingly clean him up, telling him how amazing he was, how much Merlin loved him, how gorgeous he looks…

But for now, Artemis just wants to be held. The clean-up can wait. He is revelling in the warmth of Merlin skin, the heartbeat of his lover, the sound of Merlin’s breathing mingling with his own.

Merlin doesn’t try to speak, doesn’t want to break the silence. Tonight was perfect, there’s no need for words that would never do it justice.

Artemis’ eyes close, he feels Merlin hold him just a little tighter. Then he is asleep.

******************************************************************************

Robin was more nervous and scared than he thought he would be as he and Simon got ready.

He was so excited when Simon didn’t outright reject the idea after Robin admitted his kink. He seemed a little surprised, but then joked that he probably shouldn’t have been, knowing the  _ other  _ things Robin was into.

Robin made triple sure that he was thoroughly cleaned and washed up. He made their bed, made sure the curtains were closed, and then stood awkwardly by the door as he waited for Simon to approach him and begin the scene.

**_A week previously_ **

_ “You sure you really want to try that?” Simon made sure. _

_ “I do. I promise I do.” _

_ Simon sighed. “I know you’ve always liked things a little… rough, but this….” _

_ “If you don’t want to, we don’t have to.” Robin recanted, feeling a bit embarrassed at having admitted to his kink. _

_ “No, no… I just think it’s a little different. I’m willing to try anything to make you happy. Is this something that would make you happy?” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ “Then let me consider it all. And I'll let you know what I decide.” _

Robin’s heart pounded as Simon came over to where he was and kissed him. It was happening. The scene was starting.

Simon rested his hands on Robin’s hips, tightening his grip just so. Robin moaned as Simon captured his lips in another kiss.

“You have a nice place.” Simon murmured in his ear, falling into character at once. Robin shivered.

“Thanks.”

“You live alone, then?”

“Yes.” Robin kissed him.

“Good.” Simon nipped his bottom lip. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?”

“You have?”

“For ages, feels like.” Simon’s hands left his hips, one moving to gently hold his waist, the other resting on the back of Robin’s head. “Never thought I’d get the chance.”

Robin smiled shyly. “I had no idea.”

They kissed again, starting out slow and sweet. Too soon, Simon set a harsh and demanding pace Robin struggled to keep up with. Simon held Robin’s head still, pushing the back of his head forward into the kiss.

Robin let it go on until he couldn’t any longer. He twisted his head to the side with great effort, gasping in the much-needed oxygen. “Sorry.” He said. “Could you slow down a bit?”

Simon grunted a little in reply, going back in for another kiss. Robin wasn’t sure if that was a ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Robin felt Simon’s right hand glide across his backside, gripping an area of it roughly in one hard, painful squeeze.

Robin yelped and Simon broke away again. “What now?” Simon asked, the annoyance in his tone barely masked.

“Sorry.” Robin said again, though he doubted he should be the one to apologize. “That kind of hurt. Could we slow down? Feels like we’re moving fast.”

“Not for me.” Simon lifted him up and Robin had no choice but to wrap his legs around Simon’s waist for support. Simon squeezed him tightly, carrying him to the bed.

Anxiety and panic bubbled up within Robin. “Um-” He began, but Simon cut him off yet again, pressing their lips together so hard Robin feared he might bruise later.

Simon laid him down on the bed, leaning over him, arms encasing him on either side. “I’ve looked forward to this for a very long time.” He reiterated, before pressing a sucking kiss to Robin’s neck, nipping at the sensitive skin. That would for sure leave a bruise, Robin thought.

“Can we slow down just a bit?” Robin asked for what felt like the hundredth time. Simon ignored him once more, continuing to suck little marks all over his neck.

“Simon-”

Simon cut him off with another kiss, and Robin can’t do it anymore. He forcefully breaks the kiss, shimmying out of Simon’s grip with great effort.

Simon stands up, looking at him with a mix of confusion and annoyance. “What?”

Robin sat cross-legged at the edge of the bed, farthest from Simon. “I want to slow down.” He said with emphasis, getting tired of repeating that.

“We’re barely moving at all.”

“That’s not how I feel.” Robin said. “I feel like you practically pounced on me the second you got here.”

“That’s kind of the point. Also, can you blame me?” Quick as a flash, Simon grabs Robin’s ankles and starts to get back on the bed.

“No!” Robin kicks at him. “I’ll make you leave if you don't stop. I mean it.” His voice trembled.

_ “That how you really want me to be? All brutish and harsh?” _

_ “Yes.” Robin breathed. _

_ Simon furrowed his brow. “Hm.” _

_ “Something wrong?” _

_ “Nothing. It would be interesting… to behave all prattish and demanding…” _

_ “I’d love to see you like that.” _

Simon stared at him for a long while, and Robin could almost see the wheels turning. “I apologize.” He said tensely, and Robin doubted the sincerity. “I just wanted this for so long…”

Robin took a deep breath. “I get that, it’s just… This is kind of new for me. I don’t really invite people over.”

Simon tilted his head. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. Not a lot of people interested, for one thing.”

“Well, I’m here, and I’m interested. And you’re pushing me away.”

“I’m not ‘pushing you away’.” Robin said. “I just want you to go slower with me.”

Simon threw his hands ups and sighed, exasperated. “How slow do you mean?”

“I mean… be more gentle with me, for starters.” Robin nearly snapped. “You’ve been groping and manhandling me from the moment we started.”

“Alright, I’m sorry.” And this time, Simon sounds sincere. “Let’s start over. Why don’t you lie down on the bed? I’ll make it up to you.”

Cautiously optimistic, and not wanting to send Simon home on a bad note, Robin climbed back onto the bed and laid down, looking up at Simon.

“You look beautiful, staring up at me like that.” Simon breathed, shedding his own shirt.

Robin blushed and clasped his hands over his stomach.

“You going to take off your shirt or am I going to have to?”

Robin almost reprimanded him, but ended up simply taking off his shirt and keeping the peace.

Simon trailed his fingers up the warm skin of Robin’s stomach and chest. Robin shuddered and bit his lip. “Just how I imagined.”

“Yeah?” Robin felt flattered, despite Simon’s brute-like behavior.

“You’re so pretty.” Simon straddled him as soon as he said that. His weight was uncomfortable and Robin shifted until Simon adjusted.

Simon ran his hands along Robin’s bare arms until he got to Robin’s wrists. He grasped them firmly, holding them at Robin’s sides and kissed him again.

The pace was slow and graceful, nothing like before. Robin smiled into the kiss. Simon definitely had his issues but it turned out he could be gentle. His mouth was soft, and Robin gasped as Simon’s tongue ran across his lips.

“You want this.” Simon whispered. It wasn’t quite a question, but Robin nodded anyway. “You want this. You like this.”

Robin nipped Simon’s tongue as it slipped inside his mouth. Simon groaned, breaking away briefly. “You taste sweet.” He breathed.

“I do?”

“You do.” Simon went back in, his tongue prodding and insistent.

Robin allowed the intrusion. Their tongues twisted together and every once in a while, Robin would suck and Simon would give a heavy groan.

Simon pressed his hips against Robin’s, grinding. Robin arched up as their clothed erections rubbed against each other. Simon, still gripping his wrists, raised up Robin’s hands to be beside his head. It was a bit uncomfortable, but nothing he could really object to.

Simon continued rutting against him, working Robin’s legs apart gradually, and resting between them. Granted, it felt amazing, but….

“Simon?” Robin stopped their kissing.

“Mm?” Simon nuzzled his neck.

“Nothing…”

“Mm.” Simon gave a hard thrust and both he and Robin moaned at the feeling.

Simon sat up, his eyes dark and full of want and lust. “Let’s get these off of you.” He said huskily, starting to untie Robin’s breeches.

Robin pushed his hands away. “No, wait.”

“What now?” Simon sounded incredibly annoyed.

“I don’t want to go that far.” Robin tried to scoot up, but the way Simon was straddling him made it impossible.

“What do you mean?”

“What I said. I don’t want to go that far.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have to give you a reason.”

“Are you a virgin or something?” Simon’s tone was jeering and harsh.

“And if I am?” Robin felt his face burn red. “That has nothing to do with it.”

“Wait, you really are?” Simon looked surprised.

“Maybe. Yes.” Robin looked away. “But the point remains that I don’t want to go that far.”

“Virgin or not, you’re a bloody cocktease.” Simon spat, still not moving.

His insult stung. “I’m not a cocktease.” Robin spat. “I just have my boundaries. Get off of me.”

Simon didn’t move, his eyes narrowing. “But you are. You invited me over to your home. What else was I to expect?”

“I clearly made a mistake.” Robin struggled. “I said get off.”

_ “When you say ‘rough’, you mean…?” _

_ “I want it  _ **_rough_ ** _.” Robin insisted. “I want bruises. I want to be aching everywhere. I want my scalp sore from you pulling my hair. I want my wrists to have a ring of bruises that are impossible to hide. I want my throat to burn from screaming. I need you to be unforgiving.” _

_ Simon inhaled sharply at his words, and he shifted like Robin’s words had an effect on him. “I understand.” _

Simon tightened his grip. “You can’t tempt me like you did and then invite me here, only to reject me just as things were getting good.”

“What did I ever do that tempted you?” Robin kept his voice level, despite his rising panic, the thought forming that he made an awful, awful mistake inviting Simon here.

“You can’t deny that you want this.” Simon let go of one wrist just long enough to grab Robin’s erection through his breeches.

“Simon, I’m serious.” Robin’s voice was definitely showing his panic. “Get off of me. Get out of here. I don’t want this.”

Simon narrowed his gaze, searching Robin’s face. For a moment, Robin felt some relief. Perhaps Simon would just leave-

Quickly, Simon grabbed both of Robin’s wrists in one hand, then moved the free hand down to unlace his breeches.

“What are you doing?” Robin practically screeched. “Stop!”

Simon let go once Robin’s laces were undone to yank off his breeches. Robin twisted away, trying desperately to get off the bed, maybe grab something to defend himself with, convince Simon to leave-

“Trying to tell me you don’t want this.” Simon scoffed, pointedly grabbing Robin’s stiff cock. “Look at this thing.” Simon let it go, only to roughly smack it to one side, causing Robin to cry out in pain.

“Simon, stop.” Robin pleaded. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Do what? Give you what you clearly need? You need this, Robin, don’t lie to yourself or to me. We both know that you do.”

“You’re wrong.” He choked back a sob as Simon started to unlace his own trousers. “Please. Just go. I won’t tell anyone if you just leave  _ now _ .”

Simon laughed once, a grating sound. “Is that so? And why would I ‘just go’, when I have the prettiest boy right underneath me,  _ begging  _ for my cock?”

“Simon,  _ please no _ .” Robin was crying now as Simon freed his own cock. “You know this is wrong.”

“Is it?” Simon grabbed Robin’s wrists again, tightening his grip so tight that Robin could barely move his hand around. “Is it so wrong to take the pleasure that was offered up to me by a little tart like you, only to be snatched away?”

“I wasn’t trying to tease you, I honestly never intended to go all the w-”

Robin’s sentence was stopped by a bruising kiss, if it could even be called that. He sobbed, still begging uselessly against the mouth pressed to his.

“You’ll like it. I know you’ll like it.” Simon told him, divesting himself quickly of his trousers.

Now that Simon was utterly bare, and his hot, heavy cock was pressing into Robin’s upper thigh, the grim reality of what was going to happen set in. Robin couldn’t stop the tears from falling. Every plea was useless. Every attempt to talk sense into this man fell on deaf ears. There was no way out of it. This was happening.

Simon sat up straight, and wrenched Robin’s legs further apart.

_ “You’ll be ready for me?” Simon asked. “I don’t think you’ll want to attempt me going in without proper preparation…” _

_ “I’ll be prepped.” Robin promised. “You won’t have to do a single thing.” _

Simon held Robin’s legs up in the air, taking in the sight. “Going to claim you.” He vowed breathlessly. “Going to ruin you for other men.”

“Simon, you don’t have to do this.” Robin tried one last time. “You don’t want to, surely. I know you can’t really want to-”

His words ended in a scream as Simon breached him. He jerked to one side, then the other. He could feel every last burning inch of Simon’s cock pressing it’s way inside of him.

Simon kept pushing in until he was fully seated. He groaned. “Just how I always imagined it.” He panted. “So tight for me. So amazingly hot.”

Robin was trying his hardest not to pass out. He focussed on his breathing to get through the pain.

His concentration was shattered when Simon started thrusting at a brutal pace, relentless, unforgiving.

Robin screamed again, half-begging for any sort of mercy, any at all that Simon could show him.

Simon seized a bunch of his hair in one grip and yanked roughly. “You look so good taking cock.” He said. “Such a puzzle that no one claimed you before me. If word got around how amazing you are at this, you’d have men lined up outside the door to claim a piece of you.”

“I- I hate you.” The words fell out of Robin’s mouth, feeble, and full of venom.

“Yeah?” Simon laughed. “I bet you do.”

Throughout it all, Robin never stopped struggling, refusing to give Simon the satisfaction of seeing him give up and take it. He fought every last thrust, never stopped screaming and telling Simon ‘no’. He kicked and twisted and even bit at Simon’s hands if they got too close.

Simon couldn't care less, sometimes laughing at Robin’s attempts. He never faltered in his thrusts, seeming amused by Robin’s agony and begging.

Robin’s eyes widened when he felt a familiar sensation. He felt everything draw up tight, his cock tense up…  _ No _ , he thought,  _ please _ …. and he came onto his own stomach, burning with shame.

Simon looked shocked, then he laughed uproariously. “Would you look at that?” He said. “I didn’t even have to touch you.”

Robin covered his eyes with his arms, wishing for all of this humiliation to be over soon. That was too much… climaxing, untouched, due to something he outright was fighting and didn’t even want… The entire thing was enough to make him want to crawl in a hole and die.

The tears wouldn’t stop, and he didn’t even bother wiping them away. He was done, he was done fighting. Let Simon have his way. What did it even matter?

Not too long after, he felt a wet heat flood him, and he both hated it and found relief in it. It was over. Finally over.

Simon’s thrusts stuttered and gradually faltered until he was finished. He took a deep breath, pausing before pulling out. Robin felt cold, empty, and used up. He rolled onto his side, exhausted, throat sore. He felt some of the seed trickle out and he shuddered at the feeling.

Simon got up, and knelt next to Robin on the floor. Robin’s eyes were closed and he felt Simon brush his hair gently.

“Robin?” Simon whispered. “It’s over now.”

Robin opened his eyes and looked into Simon’s concerned face. He grinned. “That was brilliant.” He said.

Simon smiled and laughed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Robin sat up, wincing a bit. “Gods, that was so amazing.  _ You _ were amazing.”

“Everything good then? You aren’t seriously hurt anywhere?”

“No, of course not.” Robin looked at the drying seed on his chest. “I came. I thought I was going to have to touch myself after the scene was over, but you made me cum. That was incredible.”

“I have to admit, I was beyond shocked at that. I mean, it’s happened before, but I wasn’t expecting it during something like this.” Simon shook his head. “I thought at several points, ‘this is too much, we should stop’. And then seeing that… You  _ really  _ do like stuff like that, don’t you?”

“You didn’t think I really did?”

“I wasn’t sure. I was willing to try it if you said you wanted it, but… I wasn’t expecting you to react and be as into it as you were.”

“I know what I like, Simon.”

“Me as a rapist?” Simon joked.

Robin rolled his eyes. “Being controlled. Claimed. Smacked around a bit. Degraded. I’ve always liked it, under controlled circumstances.”

“Hm.” Simon’s gaze flicked down towards the scars on Robin’s legs quickly, then back up. “And would you say I did that for you just now?”

“You did.” Robin silently asked for a kiss and Simon obliged. “I’d love to try other scenarios, though. And do the things you talked about.”

“Yeah.” Simon kissed him again, soft and sweet. “With how sensitive you are, I wonder how well my fantasy would play out, however…”

“You said you could make me hold off.” Robin said, his voice low and sultry. “I hope you can keep that promise.”

“I will.” Simon gave another kiss. “Believe me, I will.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis awoke in the middle of the night with a jolt. He tiredly untangled himself from Merlin, rubbing his eyes, sitting up, trying to determine what awoke him.

He looked at Merlin, who must have gotten too warm at some point and shed his shirt while Artemis was sleeping. Artemis couldn’t appreciate the sight too long, however, still curious as to what had abruptly ended his sleep.

He stood and stretched, stepping over Merlin, looking around the cabin, eyes trying to adjust to the darkness.

Artemis realized he was thirsty, and quietly poured himself a cup of water, drinking it as he tried to see if there was anything amiss in the cabin. Maybe something fell down from the wall and woke him up.

Nothing seemed out of place. Artemis finished his water, deciding to put it out of his mind, crawling back into bed, pulling the covers up over himself and Merlin.

His eyelids were drooping and he was fading into sleep again when he heard a rutling noise, then a scrape along the side of the cabin. His eyes flew open and he sat back up at once, ignoring Merlin’s noise of protest.

Artemis heard the noise again and it made his heart seize up in fear. He wanted to get up and look outside, but scary stories he’d heard as a child about the kinds of creatures in the woods that like to come out at night kept him where he was. He had always dismissed such scary stories, but sitting in the dark, here and now, it was all he could think of.

He shook Merlin awake, not wanting to be alone.

Merlin protested and whined a bit until he was more awake, looking at Artemis’ terrified face.

“What is it?” Merlin sat up. “What’s wrong?”

Artemis pointed outside, then indicated to his own ears that Merlin should listen.

Merlin and Artemis were still for quite some time, listening. Artemis frowned. Whatever it was, it was silent now.

Merlin started to get up and Artemis pulled him back down, not wanting him to go outside just yet. The images of every monster from every scary story he’d been told about in his life flashed before his eyes.

“What did you hear?” Merlin whispered.

Artemis curved his fingers and mimed scraping them along the wall.

“Scratching noise?” Merlin furrowed his brow. “Probably just some small animal then, Artemis. No need to be afraid.”

The thought of a small animal curiously scratching the side of the cabin made him feel both at ease and silly. Of course, that was probably it.

“I can always go out and check, if it would make you feel better.” Merlin offered, but Artemis refused. He felt kind of ridiculous getting that scared when all manner of harmless animals lived in the woods and could have easily made that noise.

“You sure?”

Artemis nodded, getting back under the covers. Merlin followed suit, pulling Artemis in close. “Silly Artemis.” He murmured affectionately. “Getting scared of a little animal.”

Artemis nudged him in the ribs and Merlin laughed.

Merlin was asleep within minutes. Artemis lay awake until dawn started to break, unable to push aside his worried thoughts about what exactly had been outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis pulled out his journal after Merlin announced he was going to check on their garden and wash some of their dishes in the stream.

Artemis sat down and dipped his quill in the ink, starting to sketch out what sort of harmless animal might have caused the noise he heard last night, just to make himself feel a little better.

He had just drawn the outline of a badger, and had barely begun the finer details when Merlin swung open the door.

“Come outside.” He said, voice grim. “Come look at this with me.”

Worried, Artemis set down the quill and went outside with him.

Merlin took him to the side of the cabin where their garden was. Artemis froze when he saw that their once beautiful vegetable garden had been torn apart.

Dirt and the leaves of the plants were strewn all about. The vegetables they had grown were either smashed or snapped in half. Entire plants had been pulled up and tossed into a careless pile.

Artemis looked up at Merlin, tears stinging his eyes. Merlin looked back at him, his face stony and grim.

“I think this was what you heard last night.” Merlin said, picking up a destroyed plant and holding it in his hands before tossing it to the side. “I should have looked. I should have gone outside. I could have maybe caught whoever did this.”

Artemis feels like it was his fault, just a little. If only he hadn’t been so scared to let Merlin look outside when they originally heard the noise, this could have been avoided.

Merlin rubbed his hands over his own face. “Maybe… maybe we can salvage some of this.”

He waded through the destroyed plants and vegetables, picking up a squash that had been snapped in half, tossing aside a tomato that had clearly been stepped on. He picked up part of a plant that had been broken off at the ground level, holding it in front of himself for several moments, staring at it. Artemis saw his shoulders droop and he dropped it to the ground again, turned around, walked past Artemis, and went back inside.

Artemis stared at the ruined garden for a while. If he hadn’t been so scared of some made-up monster from his imagination, they could have seen whoever did this. The damage might have already been done, sure, but at least they would know who the culprit was. He felt so dumb in the light of day for being too scared to simply check outside when he heard the noises last night.

And now, their garden, the garden they worked on so much in early spring, and were so proud of, and that Artemis saw as a personal testament that they could and would survive and flourish together, the past and the multiple obstacles they faced along the way… was completely destroyed.

Artemis went inside after Merlin, finding Merlin sitting dejectedly at the table, staring at the floor.

Artemis sat at Merlin's feet, taking his hand and holding it, staring up at him, hoping to convey some sort of comfort and reassurance to his lover.

Merlin glanced at him, sighing deeply. “Who? Who would do this?” He asked pointlessly. “Have we ever done anything against anyone in the town?”

Artemis blinked. Merlin seemed to have no doubts that it was someone from Tunnstead. Artemis had to admit it was more than likely…

“I helped them with their sick. We both helped so many people around town with their chores and their projects. I felt like we had their trust. Why would someone do this to us?”

Merlin ran his free hand through his own hair. “When will people stop fearing magic so blindly?” He looked at Artemis. “That’s what this was. I have no doubt of it. This was done out of fear and hatred because it was discovered I practice magic. They destroyed our biggest source of food and trade because I practice magic.”

It was times like these Artemis longed for the power of speech the most. How he would love to verbally comfort Merlin, tell him that they would be okay, they had been through worse things together and come out on the other side unscathed.

The only thing he could do was squeeze Merlin’s hand a little tighter, stroking the top of his hand.

Merlin gave a dry laugh. “Kind of brave, too, don’t you think?”

Artemis cocked his head.

“Someone sneaking into our garden and destroying our food, because I practice sorcery.” Merlin clarified. “They are probably scared of sorcerers, and still risked pissing one off by getting caught vandalizing the property of one.”

Artemis definitely saw the irony. Maybe deep down, the person who did it did so because they trusted that Merlin wasn’t the type to lash out.

Merlin rubbed his face with his hand, like he was trying to force his negative mood and thoughts away, to clear his head. “We need to be on the alert.” He said. “I’ll stay up late for the next few nights. I doubt they’ll strike again so soon, but I want to be prepared for when they do. I don’t want to hurt anyone, I just… I just want to speak with them. I want to see who it is, find out why they would do this to us.”

Merlin looked out the window in the direction of the garden. “We will have to survive off what we catch for a while… meat and grains will be our staple for quite some time. There is still time in the year to replant some more seeds and grow something…”

As always, Merlin was trying to move forward; thinking and planning for the future, trying not to dwell on the past more than he had to. It was one of the things Artemis admired about him and loved him for.

“Now is a good time to practice some protection spells.” Merlin muttered. “There’s a whole section of them in my spellbook. Never dwelled on them too much before.”

Artemis always thought those were more to protect against evil spirits, ill wishes and curses, but what did he know? It wasn’t like he studied magic.

Merlin stood up, tugging Artemis up with him. He kissed Artemis. “This, too, shall pass, beloved.” He said, pressing their foreheads together. He smiled wistfully at Artemis. “I know it seems like one bad thing after the next, but every day is bound to be slightly better than the last. We have to keep strong, and rely on each other to get through times like this.”

Merlin lifted Artemis’ chin with one finger and pressed another soft, sweet kiss to his lips. “With you by my side, getting through times like these isn’t quite so bad. We’re a good team, aren’t we?”

Artemis smiled and nodded. He had no idea where he would be without someone like Merlin in his life. He relied so much on him now… it was like he never realized how much he needed a companion in life until he had one.

Artemis smiled again, thinking the phrase Merlin said often in trying times like these.  _ You and me, together forever and always. _


	32. Chapter 32

Robin twisted his hands into the blankets on the bed to keep from touching himself. Being kept on the brink of orgasm, and being denied over and over was both frustrating and incredibly thrilling for Robin.

The last three times they had tried to do this this week, Robin proved too sensitive and came, panting out numerous apologies to Simon. Simon kept saying it was fine, that he didn’t mind and they would try again some other time, but Robin could tell he was disappointed every time. He wasn’t about to ruin the session for a fourth time.

Simon traces the tips of his fingers along Robin’s hip bone. “You like this, don’t you, Robin?” He practically purrs.

He’s not really asking. He’s practically gloating. He knows Robin enjoys pretty much everything Simon does to him.

But Robin responds anyway. “Yes.” His voice is strained.

“My sweet Robin.” Simon trails his fingers down Robin’s thighs, then back up, causing Robin to twitch.

“Look at you.” Simon very lightly runs one finger along Robin’s aching, swollen cock. “You’re doing so well. So much better than before.”

The previous times, Robin would be brought to climax way before Simon was finished with him. The first time, Simon had allowed Robin to touch himself as long as he promised not to finish. Robin broke his promise, cumming with a cry after only a couple of minutes of touching himself. So Simon banned him from it.

The second and third session, Robin kept his hands away from his cock. Simon ended up messing with it a bit too much, however, and both sessions ended earlier than they both would have liked.

This session, Simon was only allowing himself minimal contact with Robin’s cock. He would give it the occasional stroke, a small, brief kiss pressed to the head,… It was so far working out. He spent more time kissing Robin, sucking little marks all over his neck and chest, trailing his fingers through his hair, sucking on his ears and fingers, overwhelming Robin with pleasure with only fleeting touches to his arousal.

“You look utterly delicious, pet.” Simon gave Robin a quick kiss.

Robin looked down at his cock. It was practically weeping, a thin trail of precome steadily oozing it’s way out. It was so stiff and angry-looking, it was strange to see. It had never been like this before.

Simon risked another touch to Robin’s arousal, tracing the thick vein that had made an appearance. “I could look at you like this forever.” He said. “Keeping yourself on the edge just for me, denying yourself any real pleasure because I asked you to.”

Robin gave a half-moan. “Keep talking like that and I might not be able to hold on for much longer.”

Simon laughed. “Not my fault you’re so sensitive.”

Simon straightened up. “There’s something I want to do.” He said. “It’s risky, knowing how easy it is to make you cum, but I want to try it.”

Robin looked at him, curious.

Simon went to the foot of the bed. “Knees to your chest.” He ordered.

Robin readily obeyed, hooking his hands under his knees to hold his legs in place.

“Good boy.” Simon pulled him closer to the foot of the bed. “Look straight up at the ceiling.”

Robin did so, a bit confused until he felt the unmistakable sensation of a warm, wet tongue prodding his entrance.

“ _ Oh _ Simon… gods  _ yes _ !” Robin cried out.

Encouraged by this, Simon flicked his tongue around, sometimes up and down, sometimes in a circle.

Robin fought not to move around too much, settling for slightly rolling his hips side to side, mouth hanging open, hands grasping desperately at the blankets. “Simon.” He drew out his lover’s name in a breathless moan.

Simon kept going, encouraged by his response. He had never done anything like this to Robin before, but he was a natural. He stiffened his tongue, thrusting it against Robin’s entrance at a brutal pace, sometimes pausing to catch his breath, then going right back at it.

Robin is half-expecting Simon to slide his fingers in next, but it doesn’t happen. Simon pulls away, standing back up and taking deep breaths.

“Simon, that was amazing.” Robin said, still holding his knees to his chest.

Simon chuckles a bit, grabbing a cloth to wipe his own saliva off of his face.

“Could you put your fingers in me?”

“No.” Simon denied his request at once.

“Why not?” Robin doesn’t mean to whine but it happens.

“‘Cause I’m pretty sure you’ll lose it right away if I do. Especially if I accidentally hit that one spot.”

Simon had a point, but it didn’t stop Robin from pouting anyway. They both knew how incredibly easy it was to make Robin cum as soon as that spot was even brushed slightly.

“Stop pouting.” Simon ordered. “Legs down. Let’s see you again.”

Robin did what he was asked, splaying his legs to give his lover a better view.

Simon gave Robin’s cock a squeeze. “It’s like a rock.” He observed satisfactorily. He lifted it up by the base and let it fall freely, thumping back against Robin’s stomach.

“Can I cum now, Simon?” Robin requested, voice still strained.

“Possibly.” Simon smoothed down the dark hairs on Robin’s legs absently. “We’ll see.”

“ _ Please _ .” Robin was whining again.

Simon gave him a look. “You can wait a bit longer. Can’t you?”

His tone is blase and uncaring, but his eyes are searching Robin’s face, conveying that if Robin wants to stop, he can end this.

Robin seriously considers it. His cock is aching like it never has before, the tip rapidly purpling. It’s burning hot, too, cooled only by the touches that Simon occasionally graces him with. In short, it’s very uncomfortable, to say the least.

But he trusts Simon, and he wants to do this to  _ his  _ satisfaction. Gods know that Simon goes along with Robin’s odd fantasies, even when he’s uncertain. He can do this for Simon.

“Yes, Simon.” Robin says, and Simon smiles a bit.

Simon runs a finger under the cockhead. “You are very good, Robin. Very obedient to me.”

His words cause a jolt of pleasure to go straight to Robin’s stiff, leaking arousal. Simon continues to stroke with one finger, the action maddening, but not nearly enough to push him over the edge.

“You’d do  _ anything  _ for me, wouldn’t you?” Simon said. “Let me do anything I wanted to you.”

The words are very close to what Arthur had said to him in the past, usually right before doing something that Robin would definitely not like. The memory makes him suck in a breath, and Simon misinterprets it as a noise of pleasure.

“Yes, you would.” Simon affirms for him. He gives him a kiss, and then another. “You are a very good boy.”

Robin finds himself nodding, shoving away the thoughts of Arthur. Simon was nothing like him. Simon actually cared about his enjoyment and wanted to see him happy and fulfilled when they were intimate with one another. “Do I make you happy, Simon?” He asked.

“Yes.” Simon kissed him again. He looked at Robin, suddenly serious. “Do I make you happy, Robin?”

“Yes.” Robin vowed. “Every day. Every day we’ve been together. You make me so happy.”

Simon smiled at hearing that, stroking under his chin. “I treat you well?”

“Yes.”

Simon kissed him slowly and languidly, leaning over him. He cups Robin’s face with one hand, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Simon stops, resting his forehead against Robin’s. His right hand sneaks down and wraps around Robin’s cock. Robin lifts his hips unwittingly, thrusting up into Simon’s loose grip.

Simon lets go to lightly swat Robin’s thigh. “Naughty.” He admonished. “Don't do that again.”

“I couldn’t help it.” Robin protested.

Simon makes a noise like he doesn’t quite believe him. “Does it hurt? Being so aroused like this, not being allowed release?”

“Mm. Kind of. More like a dull ache. Not actually painful.”

“Looks painful.” Simon observed the purple cockhead again, the way the veins stood out like never before, swiped his finger through the precome and tasting it.

“It’s not.” Robin said again.

“You want to cum now?”

“Gods yes.”

“You sure?” Simon wrapped his hand around Robin’s cock once more and Robin fought not to thrust this time.

“Please, yes, Simon.” Robin begged. “I really, really want to!”

“Hmm.” Simon kept a loose grip, sliding up the length once, then back down. Robin made a noise and gritted his teeth. “You  _ have  _ been good… except for trying to thrust that time before.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Simon said dryly.

“I am, I really am sorry. Promise.” Robin swallowed, needing his release.

“Hmm.” Simon said again, doing another, quick loose stroke that made Robin fight not to react to. “There should be some kind of punishment for that, I think…”

Robin choked back a sob of protest. “ _ Please _ , Simon,  _ no _ . I need to cum.  _ Please _ .”

Simon released his cock yet again and Robin could have hit him. He swore angrily. “ **_Simon_ ** !” He snapped.

Simon smirked at him, undoing his own trousers. “Calm down, Robin.” He scolded mildly. “This won’t take long. Be good, and I’ll let you have your release after this.”

Robin bit back another retort and calmed himself. As long as he behaved himself, this would be finished soon enough.

Simon kneeled next to his, his own impressive endowment in his hand, pumping it steadily. “I know what a little whore you are for being claimed by me.” He said, stroking Robin’s face. “I’ll paint that pretty face in my seed and then I’ll let you have your release.”

“Thank you, Simon.” Robin stared at the gorgeous cock inches away from his face. “I want to suck on it. May I?”

“Another time, maybe.” Simon sounded strained, like he was closer to his own orgasm than he was letting on.

Robin resisted sticking out his tongue and giving the tip a quick swipe, not wanting to give Simon another excuse to delay his orgasm any further. He settled for watching Simon steadily stroke and pleasure himself, chest heaving up and down, quick breaths escaped his slightly parted lips.

Robin barely closed his eyes in time when Simon came all over his face. Robin opened his mouth, eager to taste the warm saltiness of Simon’s seed, as much as he could get. He savored the taste, licking his lips and swallowing everything he received.

Simon sat back for a minute, resting. His gaze flicked all over Robin’s face until he finally looked at Robin’s neglected cock. “Poor thing.” He cooed, leaning down and giving it a small kiss, then a soothing lick up the length. “You want to cum now, love?”

Robin nodded frantically.

Simon wrapped his hand around his length and started rhythmically pumping. “Go on, then. Have your release.”

Robin cried out hoarsely, overwhelmed with ecstasy. Every last fiber of his being vibrated with it. He nearly blacked out, vaguely aware of himself calling out Simon’s name, some half-formed sentences, probably trying to convey his rapture and euphoria unsuccessfully.

Simon didn’t let up, keeping his rhythm despite Robin’s twitching and lifting his hips and thrashing side to side. Then Robin was finished, lying boneless and helpless on the bed.

Every part of him was buzzing. His head was spinning as he slowly regained his senses. He blinked, looking at Simon. He swallowed, his throat somehow dry.

Simon got up and poured him a cup of water, helping him drink from it. Robin drank gratefully, holding Simon’s free hand limply, feeling the need to touch him in some way after all that.

Simon took the cup away, smoothing Robin’s hair. “Was it good, love?” He asked softly.

“It was so good, Simon.”

“You’ve got cum in your hair.” Simon observed.

“How did I get it way up there?”

“It’s mine, silly.” Simon laughed.

“Oh.” Robin blushed. “Of course.”

Simon tweaked his nose. “Between the two of us, you’re practically covered in it.”

Robin looked down at his chest, seeing his own seed painting it.

“You look so pretty covered in cum.” Simon kissed him. “And you looked positively angelic when you came.”

Robin appreciated the compliment, though he doubted it was accurate. “I really liked it, Simon.”

“I couldn’t tell, some of the time.” Simon admitted sheepishly. “I just kept thinking that if you hated it and wanted to stop, you would use our designated word.”

“There were times I kind of wanted to…” Robin confessed. “But I knew I could keep going for you.”

“You don’t have to push yourself for me.” Simon reminded him. “That’s what the word is for.”

“But I knew I could do it.” Robin repeated. “And it ended up being amazing.”

“It was.” Simon agreed, taking in the sight of him. “We should try it again some time.”

“Not too soon, I hope.” Robin said quickly. “I need a lot of recovery from that. It was pretty intense.”

“I could tell.” Simon smirked. “Your eyes were rolling to the back of your head. You were stiff as a board, all arched up. It was really something to see.”

“Was I loud?”

“The entire town probably heard.” Simon joked. “Not a single complete sentence came out of your mouth.”

Robin nipped his bottom lip and snorted a little laugh. “It was more intense than I imagined it would be.”

“Sore?” Simon looked at his now-limp cock.

“Just a bit.” Robin admitted. “Not too bad, though.

Simon kissed his forehead. “Let me clean you up.” He offered. “Maybe we can have a bit of wine before bed, what do you say?”

“I’d like that.” Robin smiled at his lover, holding his hand again as Simon cleaned him up, the cool water welcome on his hot skin.

Once Robin’s face was also cleaned, and his hair mostly free of the mess, Simon kissed him softly all over his still-damp face. “Let’s have that wine, love.” He murmured in Robin’s ear. “I want to watch the stars with you while we drink. Would you like that?”

Robin agreed readily, letting Simon help him out of bed. A cup of wine under the stars with Simon sounded perfect.

******************************************************************************

Artemis peeked inside the cabin at the fast asleep Merlin lying on their mattress. He sighed deeply.

It was the middle of the day, and Merlin was passed out hard.

Merlin had been staying up late for nearly 2 weeks straight, not going to bed until the sun was up. He kept watch outside during the night, in case anyone decided to come by to vandalize their property again.

Artemis understood his reasoning. And he understood the threat. Merlin’s secret getting out was not good, to say the least. There were obviously people who didn’t trust him any longer, and even saw him as a danger.

But Merlin couldn’t keep going like this. He was stressed out all the time. He refused to come to bed at night despite all of Artemis’ begging, choosing to patrol around outside. He hadn’t been in town for over a week. He’d been travelling longer distances to a different town to get whatever they needed. It was highly inconvenient, and Artemis was sick of it all.

And here it was, in the middle of the day, and Merlin was sleeping as usual.

Artemis was lonely. He was tired of doing things by himself because Merlin decided it was necessary to stay awake all night to keep an eye out for any trespassers. Artemis cooked most meals by himself now, cleaned everything by himself, and at nighttime, slept by himself.

And they hadn’t had an intimate moment since their garden had been destroyed. Merlin would give him the odd kiss when he felt up to it, but mostly Merlin was too busy fretting and thinking of ways they could protect themselves if someone actually showed up and meant them any physical harm. He was brushing Artemis away whenever Artemis wanted some affection. And it was really starting to get to Artemis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin sat at the table, finishing his meal. The sun was setting outside, an event Artemis had learned to dread.

Setting his own bowl aside, Artemis stood, pushing his chair in. Merlin paid him no mind, taking a long drink of water.

Artemis stood behind Merlin, resting his hands on Merlin’s shoulders, giving them a quick squeeze.

Merlin barely turned his head to look at him. “What do you want, Artemis?” He doesn’t say it harshly, or with any annoyance in his voice.

Artemis silently rubbed and squeezed at Merlin’s stiff shoulders like he wanted to get out every ounce of stress. Merlin gradually relaxed a bit, leaning his head forward and letting Artemis massage his neck. He exhaled slowly. “Feels good.” He acknowledged in a quiet voice.

Artemis smiled, keeping it up for a few minutes, then encouraged Merlin to tilt his head to the left, rubbing circles with two fingers at the stiff muscles on that side of his neck. Merlin made a sound like he was enjoying it, tilting his head to the other side so Artemis could do the same to that side.

Soon Artemis was softly kissing the delicate, soft skin of his lover’s neck, closing his eyes like Merlin was, going behind his ear, pressing his mouth to the shell of his ear, running the tip of his tongue along the edge. He nipped and sucked at Merlin’s earlobe, causing his lover to stiffen his back, lean his head back and give a low sound of enjoyment.

Artemis, encouraged by this, did the same to the other side.

Artemis lifted Merlin’s chin with one finger, angling his head towards him, and kissing him soundly on the lips.

They made out for quite some time, Artemis eventually moving to straddle Merlin. Now they faced each other, Artemis grinding his arousal against Merlin’s, Merlin wrapping his arms around Merlins waist.

_ I missed you _ , Artemis thought.  _ It’s been so long since we’ve done anything like this. _

Merlin broke the kiss, looking out the window. “It’s nearly dark.” He muttered. “I should get outside.”

Artemis frowned at him.

“Let me up, Artemis.” Merlin leaned forward and Artemis had no choice but to slide off of him.

_ Don’t leave _ , Artemis thought, taking his wrist and tugging Merlin towards him.

“I have to keep watch. Let me go.” Merlin said gently, pulling away.

_ No, you don’t _ . Artemis moved in front of him to block his way, wrapping his arms around Merlin’s neck, trying for a smile.

“Artemis.” Merlin sniffed a laugh and removed Artemis’ arms from around him. “Come on. You know I have to go keep watch.”

Merlin went around Artemis, heading towards the door. Artemis grabbed at his wrist again but missed, or maybe Merlin sensed it and pulled his hand away in time.

“Love, you  _ know  _ I have to keep watch at night. In case someone tries something again. It’s for our own safety.” Merlin said, looking back at a very upset Artemis.

Artemis stood by the table, watching him walk away. He felt a sudden rush of frustration and anger.

_ He barely spends any time with me anymore.  _ Artemis thought.  _ It isn’t right. It isn’t fair that he neglects me so much now. _

Artemis grabbed an empty bowl, and threw it to the ground, effectively smashing it to bits and pieces.

Merlin jumped at the sound, turning around and looking in shock at Artemis, who stood besides the mess, glowering at him.

“Artemis!” Merlin said, looking peeved and taken aback at the same time. “What was that for?”

Artemis grabbed his journal and quickly scribbled out, ‘ _ you nevr spind time with me now’. _

“I spend time with you.” Merlin insisted. “We went into that one town together just a few days ago. We replanted the garden last week. What are you on about?”

_ ‘We nevr go to bed togethr now. You stay up outside _ ’.

“For our safety. Artemis, what if they come back? What makes you think they are just going to stop at vandalizing our property? I promised we would be safe here, and I’m making sure that stays true.”

_ ‘You cant keep doing this. Its not good for you.’ _

“I’d rather be tired than wake up to someone burning down our home because I wasn’t keeping an eye out for danger.” Merlin, clearly annoyed now.

Artemis stared at him incredulously. Is that what he thought would happen? Did he realize how ridiculous that sounded? Artemis wrote that down next.

“It’s not ridiculous.” Merlin snapped. “And I don’t know for sure what will happen. I’m not for certain that whoever destroyed our garden will ever come back. But I’m not taking any chances with our safety. And I’m sorry if you feel neglected, but I’m doing this for you, you know. I’d love a good night’s sleep in our bed, I really would. But I can’t sleep well at night because all I can think about is them coming back and doing something worse. So understand that I’m not exactly thrilled to have to patrol our property every single night, but I do it for both of us.”

Artemis glared at him and Merlin scoffed. “I’m going outside now.” Merlin bit out the words. “Clean up your mess.”

Merlin walked stiffly to the door. Artemis’ chest heaved, even angrier than before. Merlin’s words echoed around his head, as he silently fumed.

Before Merlin could even open the door, Artemis grabbed another bowl and smashed it.

Faster than Artemis had ever seen him move, Merlin whirled around and stormed over to Artemis, grabbing him by the shoulders.

“ **What is your problem** ?” Merlin shouted at him. His eyes flashed that familiar golden color and Artemis gasped and flinched away. But Merlin was only summoning the broom to him. He thrust it towards Artemis. “Clean this up. Don’t ever do that again.”

Artemis let the broom fall to the ground, staring a challenge directly at Merlin.

Merlin grit his teeth. “Pick. It. Up. Stop doing this. You’re being ridiculous, you’re acting spoilt.”

Artemis stared into Merlin’s blue eyes, not obeying.

“What do you want, Artemis? What would make you happy? Hm?” Merlin said angrily. “You want me to drop all of this? Forget it ever happened? Pretend the danger doesn’t exist so we can return to our idyllic life? That’s  **not** going to happen. Maybe you can pretend that everything is alright and be in denial that anything bad happened, and everything is okay, but I can’t.”

_ ‘You did it with the princ.’ _ Artemis handed the journal over to Merlin after he wrote the words.

Merlin tensed when he saw what Artemis had written. He let the journal fall to the ground alongside the broken pottery. “It’s not the same.” He said tersely. “And that’s not fair.”

Artemis angled his head as if to challenge that, thinking,  _ isn’t it, though? _

Like Merlin could read his mind, he stiffened up again, taking controlled breaths. Artemis thought at first he was trying to control his anger, but then he saw Merlin’s eyes were wet.

“I’m going outside now. Clean this up before the sun is up.” Merlin walked briskly to the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Artemis sat down shakily on one of the chairs. He put his face in his hands, taking deep breaths to steady himself.

He shouldn’t have written that down about the prince…. But it was how he felt. Merlin had turned a blind eye to Artemis being hurt by someone Merlin respected for months, but when somebody destroys their garden, Merlin goes overboard with safety precautions.

Artemis stared at the mess on the ground, then stood up, going to lay down on the mattress.

He wanted Merlin to see the mess was still there in the morning.

He wanted Merlin to know that this discussion was nowhere close to over.

******************************************************************************

Robin brought his and Simon’s freshly dried clothes in from outside. He laid them on a chair to be folded later, turning his attention to the dirty floor.

He grabbed the broom and began to sweep, getting all the dirt swept outside. Once he was finished with that, he put the broom back in its place, looking at Simon, who was fast asleep on the bed.

It was only the middle of the day, but Simon hadn’t slept too well last night and couldn’t stay alert enough to work in the forge right now. It was also sweltering hot, and Robin preferred he be inside where it was slightly cooler instead of getting a heat stroke swinging a hammer near a roaring fire.

Simon looked so peaceful and content sleeping. Robin had half a mind to curl up next to him if it wasn’t so hot.

Robin went over to Simon, unable to resist the temptation of running his hand down Simon’s chest. Simon shuffled a bit, but stayed asleep. Robin smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to Simon’s lips-

There was a knock at the door and Robin jumped. Simon shuffled again.

Robin, curious as to who it could be, answered the door.

It was Carinna. Robin blinked at her. “Oh.” Was all he could think to say.

Carinna looked taken aback when she saw him. “Oh.”

Robin looked her over. Her eyes looked different and he realized she was wearing makeup on them. Her lips were darker too, and he figured she must have used lip color on them. Her dress looked amazing, and was probably newly tailored.

He stared at her for maybe too long, until she cleared her throat. “Is Simon in?”

“He’s taking a nap.” Robin said, still staring at her get-up.

Carinna straightened her back and lifted her chin. She smoothed down her dress.. “I see. And what are you doing here then?” Her tone was somewhat accusatory. Robin got the feeling that she thought he was checking her out, or at the very least admiring her get-up. Robin furrowed his brow, taking offense to that idea.

“I, um, work here.” He said. “I sort of do housework for him.”

“I see.” She repeated, looking him up and down.

Robin felt annoyed at her presence. Who did she think she was, getting all dolled up and coming to see Simon? Didn’t he already tell her he wasn’t interested? And yet here she was again, like she could change his mind with some makeup and a new dress.

“I’ll tell him you came by.” Robin said pointedly.

“Please do.” She said with an attitude and Robin held back a snort. “I’d like to speak with him soon.”

“Alright.” Was all Robin said before closing the door. He looked out the window to make sure she was completely gone.

“And what did she want?” Simon's voice made Robin startle.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah. Was that Carinna?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s she want now?”

“To speak with you.”

Simon groaned and rubbed his hand over his eyes, rolling onto his side. “I said what I had to say to her.” He grumbled. “I won’t have her stopping by every few days like my mind is gonna change.”

Robin smirked, sitting next to him. “She was wearing makeup.”

“Gods.”

“And a new dress.”

Simon laughed.

“She spoke really rudely to me, honestly.”

“I don’t doubt it. She tends to treat people rather poorly. One of the reasons I ended it.” Simon stretched. “She interrupted my nap.”

“Sorry.”

“Lie down here beside me, love.” Simon moved over to make room for him. “I’ll see if I can’t catch a bit more sleep.”

“Not too hot for you?”

Simon kissed him on the cheek. “It’s bearable.”

Robin pressed his forehead against Simon’s shoulder. “Wonder if she suspects us.”

“Eh.”

“Doesn’t that make you nervous? People knowing about us?”

“Sure they do already.” Simon muttered tiredly. “Doesn’t bother me.”

“But…” Robin paused, gathering his thoughts. “... Relationships like ours aren’t generally looked upon well…”

“I know that.”

“Then how are you so calm about people suspecting us of a relationship?”

“Well, what are they going to do about it?” Simon asked. “It’s merely speculation on their part, and even if they knew for sure, what would they do about it? I’m the only blacksmith in this town, and they rely on me for many, many things. Not like they’d run me off or something. Also, a lot of them have known me my entire life. I don’t think they’d turn on me so readily.”

Robin mulled his words over in his mind. “You wouldn’t mind it if your old fiancee knew you were with a man now?”

“I wouldn’t.” Simon confirmed. “I think it would bother her more than it would bother me. Why? Did it look like she suspected anything when you spoke to her?”

“I’m not sure… She didn’t look happy to see me, that was for sure.”

Simon drew him in closer. “Maybe she does suspect something.” He murmured. “Maybe it’s best if she does. She’d be more likely to stay away. Don’t need her coming around.”

Robin silently agreed. He threw one leg over Simon, listening to his breathing even out until it was clear Simon was asleep.

Robin slowly got up, trying not to disturb Simon again, going over to the clean laundry to fold them, determined to get all of his chores out of the way.

He knew it made Simon happy to walk into a clean house every evening, and it gave him a thrill to make his lover pleased with him. He no longer did housework to ensure Simon would keep him around, but rather to keep himself busy.

He had to admit to himself his constant desire to have Simon happy with him and pleased with the things he did was definitely a deeply embedded kink. At least Simon didn’t take advantage of it like Arthur had.

******************************************************************************

Artemis rolled over in bed and felt around for Merlin. When it was clear the spot beside him was empty, Artemis opened his eyes and sighed deeply.

It was morning, the sun had been up for a bit, and Merlin hadn’t come to bed yet.

Artemis got up, peering out of a window, spotting Merlin rinsing his hands off in the stream.

Artemis looked back at the broken shards of pottery that both of them refused to clean up, even though it had been a couple of days since the fight.

There were times Artemis thought maybe he should retract what he had said, but his stubbornness prevented it. If he took it all back now, Merlin might feel justified to keep doing what he was doing, and Artemis still held that it wasn’t healthy for him to behave like this.

Merlin now wasn’t going to bed until Artemis got up in the morning, making it clear that he was still mad about what Artemis had said.

Artemis sat at the table and ate some dried fruit. Merlin came inside, looking tired as usual. He looked at Artemis, then at the broken mess on the floor.

“When are you going to clean that up?” He asked rhetorically for the hundredth time, heading over to the mattress and flopping down.

Artemis briefly glared at him, then finished his meal. Dried fruit always parched his throat, and the pitcher was empty.

He got up, grabbing the pitcher.

“You going to smash that as well?” He heard Merlin ask dryly.

Artemis turned his head to glare at him as he walked, wishing he wasn’t mute so he could give a cutting retort-

He felt a sharp sting of pain go through his foot and he opened his mouth in a silent shout, lifting his leg and looking at the bottom of his foot in shock. There was a large shard of pottery sticking out of his foot, and blood was already pouring out of it.

“Oh gods, Artemis, hang on.” He heard Merlin get up and grab a chair, helping him safely into it. Artemis shakily set the pitcher on the ground beside himself.

Merlin knelt before him, looking at his injury, wincing in sympathy. “Must hurt like hell.” He said.

Artemis nodded, chewing his lip in pain.

Merlin grabbed some cloth and held it under his foot. “I have to pull it out, alright? I’m sorry, but this will hurt.”

Artemis squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth while Merlin pulled the large shard out and immediately tried to stop the bleeding with the cloth.

“That’s a lot of blood.” Merlin muttered. Artemis opened his eyes. His foot still stung and the cloth was getting soaked already.

“Hold it on your foot, I’ll get some more rags to wrap it up and stop the bleeding.”

Artemis did as he was asked, fighting to keep steady breaths throughout the pain.

Merlin tightly wrapped some new rags around his foot, and Artemis let the other rag hit the floor with a thud.

After Merlin secured it, he looked at the blood splatters on the floor, and his own hands to see they were also stained.

Artemis could still feel his foot throbbing, and he was scared of bleeding through his new foot binding.

“Oh, Artemis.” Merlin held onto Artemis’ ankle and pressed his forehead against his knee.

He was silent after he said this, and Artemis was confused.

“I don’t like fighting with you.” Merlin said after a minute of silence. “And now this happens, because we fought…”

_ I shouldn’t have smashed the bowls, though. _ Artemis thought. It wasn’t Merlin’s fault that his foot got sliced up.

“I don’t want us to live in fear.” Merlin remained how he was, eyes shut, forehead pressed against Artemis’ leg. “But I want us to be safe. And I’m so tired of being so tired and stressed every single day. And I’m not sure how to change that.”

Artemis gingerly ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair. Merlin opened his eyes and looked up at him. “I want you to know I only ever want you to be safe.”

Artemis nodded.  _ I know _ .

“Let me clean up, and I’ll heal your foot, okay?” Merlin stood up. “I think I know a spell that might help. Don’t move.”

Artemis couldn’t walk even if he wanted to. He kept his foot propped up on his other thigh while Merlin went to the stream and washed off his hands.

When Merlin came back, he grabbed the broom and swept the broken pottery into the corner, much to Artemis’ surprise. He thought he should be the one to clean it up, considering he smashed it out of anger and to get Merlin’s attention. At least… the first smashing was. The second was to piss Merlin off… He felt guilty about it all now…

Merlin grabbed his spellbook and flipped through the pages, settling on one, taking Artemis' foot and unwrapping it.

Artemis winced at the air hitting his wound again. It was still bleeding, but Merlin gently cupped his hand over the gash and whispered the spell.

Artemis twitched as he felt the bizarre sensation of his foot rapidly healing. It itched for some reason and as soon as it was finished, Artemis looked at the freshly healed skin.

There was a slight bruise, and it itched and ached a bit, but it was definitely healed.

“Let me get you in bed. I don’t want you walking around right now.” Merlin picked him up and carried him off to bed, laying him down carefully and giving him a quick kiss on the forehead.

Merlin grabbed his journal and the pen and ink and set them beside him, then he settled down besides Artemis, wrapping his arms around him.

“Spellbook says it could take a day or two to fully heal.” Merlin muttered. “I’ll take care of you until it does.”

Artemis turned to look at Merlin, timidly wrapping his fingers around Merlin’s wrist.

“I’m sorry I raised my voice at you, my love. I was harsh to you. I’m so sorry.” Merlin said.

Artemis wiggled out of his arms and wrote in his journal ‘ _ You are not all to blame. I shood not have actd out like that _ ’.

“Maybe so, but I shouldn’t have lost my temper with you. I am so exhausted, and I am stressed constantly. I think that made me snip at you when I shouldn’t have. You were right; I have been neglecting you. I understand why you got angry with me.”

‘ _ I am sory for braking the bowls. _ ’

Merlin sniffed a little laugh. “I forgive you. Do you forgive me for shouting at you and grabbing you the way I did?”

Artemis nodded, writing, ‘ _ Im sory I said that about the princ’ _ .

Merlin twisted his mouth to the side when he read that. “Yeah…” Merlin muttered. “That stung to read.”

Artemis looked away from him. Merlin made him look back at him. “I’m trying to be better, you know. I feel awful about ignoring what you told me about Arthur for so long. I don’t want to ever neglect your safety ever again. I want you to feel safe and at ease. I never intended to make you feel ignored. I only ever want you to feel safe and taken care of.”

_ ‘I do allredy. And I am serius wen I say you cannot keep going like this. We need to come up with sumthing els. This is not the way.’ _

“You are right, my love…” Merlin kissed his cheek. “Let me get some sleep and let your foot heal some more. We will discuss it more after that. Yeah?”

Artemis nodded, letting Merlin embrace him again. He closed his eyes and inhaled Merlin’s scent.

He was done with fighting. If Merlin was now willing to be reasonable, he was eager to discuss better ways of ensuring their safety.

******************************************************************************

Robin was walking back home from the forge where he had just dropped off Simon’s lunch. It was just as hot as the day before, and the day before that. He wiped some sweat from his brow, thinking that cooling off in the lake later sounded heavenly. Maybe he could convince Simon to go with him.

He was almost home when a man on horseback caught his attention.

The rider was gaunt, pale, and very grave-looking. Even on horseback, Robin could tell he was extremely tall. He made Robin feel nervous, though he wasn’t sure why.

The man spotted him and pulled back on the reins, halting his horse. He looked Robin up and down, pulling out a piece of parchment from a small bag hanging beside him. He looked at the paper, then back at Robin.

“You. Come here.” He commanded. Robin went over, though he wasn’t sure why he should be listening to this person.

“Uh, yes… sir?” Robin felt that adding that ‘sir’ seemed like the right thing to do.

“What is your name, boy?”

Robin bristled at being called a boy. He was 20, for god's sakes. “Robin.”

“Ah. Is this your home?” The man gestured towards the house.

“Yes.”

“Do you live with anyone in your home?”

“Yes.” Robin replied. There was a pause as the man stared him down. “Simon. He’s the town blacksmith. I work for him.” He stuttered out.

“Ah.” The man said again. “Is there an inn here? I require rest.”

“Yes.” Robin told him where the inn could be found.

“Good.” The man snapped the reins and started to ride away.

Robin watched him, completely at a loss as to who he was and why he specifically needed that information. And how he had managed to get Robin to answer so readily. He just had that sort of aura about him…

He would have to tell Simon about that odd man when Simon came home tonight.


	33. Chapter 33

Robin kept making a mental note to tell Simon about that stranger but kept forgetting. As soon as Simon came home that same day, he wanted to cool off in the lake with Robin. So they gathered their things and off they went.

Along the way, Robin almost told him, but then they spotted a very large grey fox that was hunting mice, and it distracted him from it as they observed the fox for a while before continuing on their way.

They stripped off their clothes at the lake and Robin took his time admiring Simon’s form as his lover waded into the lake before joining him.

They swam for a bit, cooling off. Robin preferred this lake over the one near Camelot. The one near Camelot had a waterfall, and though it was small, it was very loud and Robin personally couldn’t concentrate on enjoying himself over the constant rush and churning sound of the water.

This lake was about the same size, but lacked the waterfall and therefore was much more peaceful and pleasant to swim in.

Robin swam closer to the shore until he was able to stand on the bottom of the lake. He waded in the water a bit before sitting cross-legged on the lake-bottom, his head and shoulders sticking out above the water. Simon continued to swim in the middle of the lake, sometimes diving under and coming up in a different area, shaking his head to rid himself of the excess water.

Robin beckoned Simon closer to him, intent on finally telling Simon about that man he met earlier, and Simon swam over, wading through until he also sat cross-legged in the water in front of Robin.

Simon smiled at Robin, wiping his own face clean of any water droplets. “I used to be afraid of swimming.” He confessed with a grin.

“Why?”

“I used to be afraid something would grab my leg and pull me under.”

Robin sniffed a laugh. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Something scary, I guess. One time, some sort of plant wrapped itself around my ankle as I was trying to swim and my heart almost gave out. My father had to rescue me and my brother mocked me about it for weeks.”

“How old were you?”

“Maybe nine? Not sure. But I got over my fear, obviously.”

“Yeah.” Robin skimmed his hand over the surface of the water lightly, watching it ripple. He and Simon watched the ripples as they gradually disappeared.

Robin opened his mouth to tell Simon about that man and Simon prevented it unknowingly by leaning forward and kissing Robin fully on the mouth.

Robin’s mind blanked and he leaned into the kiss. He would never tire of kissing this man.

Simon pulled away, smiling lovingly at him. “Do you remember our first kiss?” He asked.

Robin blushed and returned the smile shyly. “Of course.”

Simon ran his thumb along Robin’s bottom lip. “I’ve been thinking about that moment a lot today.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Not sure…” Simon stroked Robin’s chin with his thumb now. Robin shivered at the motion. “I remember… right before I kissed you for the first time, I remember thinking, ‘Gods I hope I’m right about this’.” Simon laughed at himself a bit.

“Right about what?”

“You liking men. Liking me, specifically.” Simon said. “I just kept thinking how badly I would have messed up everything if my assumption was wrong.”

“I feel like I was pretty obvious.”

“You did stare at me quite a bit.”

Robin laughed. “Yeah.”

“I remember inviting you into my bed that night… how right it all felt to be next to you.” Simon said, his eyes full of warmth and affection as he gazed at Robin before kissing him again. “I’ve never felt happier to be with a person than I have been with you.”

Robin had to look away, happy tears forming in his eyes. “I’ve never been happier either.” He said quietly, bashful.

“I wish I could show everyone how happy we are, how important you are to me.” Simon was suddenly wistful.

Robin curled his hand on Simon’s neck comfortingly. “Sometimes I wish for that too.” He admitted. “But I’m also just glad that we found each other, even though we aren’t able to be open about everything.”

Simon pressed his forehead against Robin’s. His hand drifted down to Robin’s thigh and Robin felt his palm running over the protruding scars. “How could someone have you and not cherish you?” He murmured. “How could someone do to you what he did?”

Robin squeezed his eyes shut at hearing that.

“When we first started our relationship, I kept wondering how no one had snatched you up before me. And finding out that you  _ had  _ been with someone before me, and to hear how he had treated you… I just can’t fathom it.” Simon stroked his damp hair. “How could someone do that to you?”

“Simon.” Robin choked out. He took a shuddering breath. It drove him mad to have Simon’s pity, when he had allowed the prince to do all those things to him willingly. Sometimes, the prince went way too far and Robin certainly had not enjoyed or looked forward to those times, but he kept coming back anyway. Having Simon act like Robin was the victim was maddening. He was just as much to blame.

“Sh.” Simon gave him a kiss Robin felt he didn’t deserve.

_ He can’t know, _ Robin told himself, _ things would never heal between us if he knew. He’d never view me the same. _

“I don’t want to think about him. Please.” Robin said.

“Of course. I’m sorry.” Simon pulled back, running his hands down Robin’s arms.

“It’s alright.”

“Gods, could you imagine if I had sent you to stay at the inn?” Simon gave a short laugh, changing the subject entirely. “How things might have been different?”

“How so?”

“Not sure I would have ever seen you again. You probably would have been off the next day.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. If you remember, I  _ was _ literally starving and had no money.”

“True. Does that mean you would have come back begging for scraps?”

“Possibly.” Robin laughed. “Like a stray cat.”

“Maybe we were fated to meet.” Simon said, more seriously. “I’ve never felt this at ease in a relationship. I’ve never felt more fulfilled than I do with you.”

“Not even with Carinna?”

Simon rolled his eyes. “Definitely not.”

“What about… the other two men you were with?”

“What about them?”

“Weren’t you happy with them?”

Simon twisted his mouth in thought. “The first man I was ever with… was more of an experiment, to see if I liked it. And I definitely did, obviously. But we weren’t, you know,  _ compatible _ . It was kind of weird after. We didn’t speak much after that.”

“Ouch.” Robin said sympathetically. “How old were you?”

“Nineteen.” Simon answered. “And then the second man was two years later. We got along a bit. We liked each other… Slept together a few times… In the end, he did what his family wanted. He broke off our secret little affair we had, and married a woman.”

“That’s rough….”

“Eh.” Simon shrugged. “It was for the best. He doesn’t even live here anymore. So it’s not like I have to see him everyday.”

“Do you ever miss being with women?” Robin had to ask before he lost the nerve.

“Miss it? Mm, not exactly.” Simon said musingly. “There’s pros and cons to being in a relationship with either gender. Can’t say I ‘miss it’ because that would imply I feel there is something lacking with you and I. And I don’t feel that way.”

“Do you think you prefer men over women?”

Simon thought about that for a moment. “I can’t say as I have a preference, honestly. Like I said, pros and cons but I don’t have an actual preference. I don’t fall in love with someone’s gender, you know? I fall in love with the person.”

“I see…” Robin was hoping to hear him say he liked men better overall, but it wasn’t likely to happen.

Simon brushed the tips of Robin’s ears with his fingertips, smoothing back the ends of his hair touched his ears. “You probably need a haircut soon.”

“It’s not that long.” Robin protested.

“It’s getting there.” Simon looked at the setting sun. “We should probably head back. Not that much daylight left.”

“I have the stew all ready for us.” Robin stood up and Simon followed suit.

“Sounds lovely. Did you buy those scones I asked for at the market?”

“Yes.”

“And the wine?”

“Of course.”

“Perfect. Then let’s treat ourselves to a good evening, my love.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis and Merlin were under the covers together, limbs entangled together, softly panting as they pressed loving, apologetic kisses to one another’s skin.

Merlin adjusted himself, placing the lightest of kisses along Artemis’ waist. He felt so angry at himself for letting his paranoia get the better of him. He had neglected Artemis for the last few weeks and he hadn’t seen how negatively it had affected them.

He would always strive to keep Artemis safe, that was for certain. But he needed to find a better way of doing it that didn’t involve patrolling for hours on end and getting very little sleep.

The knot in his stomach that had been there since they discovered their garden destroyed was gradually untangling itself as he rutted rhythmically against Artemis’ thigh. He felt his stress melt away as Artemis’ fingers clung to him, digging into his skin harshly like he wanted to make sure Merlin wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

“Tonight I’ll sleep here. And tomorrow I will spend all day with you. And we can fish together, and eat out in the meadow together, and take a walk together…” Merlin vowed, cupping Artemis’ face. “I am so sorry I ignored you. I am so sorry I yelled at you, and that we fought. I just wanted to make sure we were safe. I am so scared of someone coming here when I am not here to look after you and hurting you. And it would be all my fault. I let someone into our home and I let my magic be discovered. I couldn’t live with that guilt. So I overdid it on precautions. And it only damaged our relationship.”

Artemis pressed his mouth roughly against Merlin’s, interrupting him.

Merlin broke it off after a minute. “We’ll find a better way. We will find a better way to make sure no one does anything like that, or worse, ever again.”

Artemis nodded, and Merlin got the feeling he would rather Merlin just stop talking than keep offering up more apologies.

Merlin let Artemis straddle him, the blanket falling around Artemis’ slender waist. Merlin’s eyes were drawn to Artemis’ swaying erection and he grabbed it near the head, dragging the foreskin down, then back up as Artemis’ eyes fluttered and he lifted his hips encouragingly.

Artemis’ cock was a decent size, average to be sure, but thick. Merlin licked his lips at the memory of how it tasted in his mouth.

He stroked it up and down while Artemis urged him on with his thrusting hips.

It had been over a year since Merin had had a cock in him. He actually kind of missed the sensation. He was very flexible when he was intimate with men, and usually was a more submissive person. But with Artemis, it had always been that he was the one giving, and not receiving.

“Gods.” He muttered, squeezing Artemis’ cock at the base quickly, wiggling it side to side. Artemis snorted in amusement. “This would feel so good in me.”

Artemis’ eyes flew open wide and he looked at Merlin in surprise. Merlin realized he had said that bit out loud and his face burned with embarrassment. But he couldn’t pretend like he  _ hadn’t  _ said it. So he forged ahead.

“Is that… something you want too? To be the one inside of me?” Merlin asked tentatively.

Artemis looked away, like he had no clue how to reply to the question.

“I could show you how to prep me….” Merlin faltered, fearing that he had somehow messed up terribly.

Artemis leaned over off the bed, grabbed his journal and scribbled out  _ ‘Let me think. Tomorow we will speek of it’. _

“Oh. Yeah, I can wait.” Merlin said. Artemis got back on top of him, smiling shyly.

“... What would you like to do instead?”

Artemis gave him a sly look and slid down, taking Merlin’s cock in his mouth easily, enveloping him in the heat and the wet, sucking like his life depended on it.

Merlin groaned, bucking into it. Artemis got better at sucking him off every time he did it. From day one, he was pretty good, rather enthusiastic about the whole thing which helped, and just improved from there.

“Gods, I love you.” Merlin said. Artemis sniffed a little laugh and kept going, his tongue sweeping in circles, sometimes sucking needfully at the head, then taking the entire thing in again, choking a bit on the girth, but powering through.

Merlin came, panting, and Artemis swallowed it all with no problem, popping off and flopping next to Merlin, his lips red and swollen and smiling.

“Your turn.” Merlin shuffled down, licking a stripe down the shaft, savoring the taste, then taking him in.

He felt Artemis petting his hair. He would never get enough of this taste, of the soft, silky sensation of Artemis’ cock in his mouth, of the twitching and the little spurts of precome that made Merlin’s mouth water with the promise of what was to come.

Merlin swallowed the length down expertly, burying his nose in the hair, holding it until he couldn’t breathe, and sliding off, inhaling before going back down.

He felt Artemis’ chest do several quick heaves, saw his stomach tense up, then felt his cock stiffen in his mouth. Merlin relaxed his throat and gladly swallowed everything he was given, determined to savor it, his mouth watering.

Merlin pulled off, wrapping Artemis in his arms, who was still coming down from his high.

“Love you, Artemis.” Merlin kissed his hair. “I will always make sure you are safe and happy.”

******************************************************************************

Robin should probably have shoved a pillow in his mouth or something. He was fighting not to scream out his pleasure as Simon hovered above him, mercilessly plowing into him, hitting that wonderful spot every time.

Robin was losing the battle, quick cries and shouts escaping.

“Hush.” Simon warned him. “You’re very loud.”

“You feel so good.” Robin said, his voice strained.

Simon quickly placed a hand over Robin’s mouth. “If you need to shout, do it into my hand.” He said.

Simon’s hand proved to have a good seal over Robin’s mouth and Robin screamed out his now muffled pleasure into it.

Robin moved his hand down to his arousal, wrapping his hand around it, bringing himself off swiftly. He shuddered as his orgasm wracked through him, going limp, little half-moans still escaping him.

Simon finished shortly thereafter, and paused while trying to catch his breath. Robin felt him start to pull out. “No wait.” Robin stopped him. “Just… leave it in for a bit longer.”

“I’m sweaty and tired, Robin.” Simon protested, but he did stop pulling out.

Robin tensed around him and heard Simon suck in air between his teeth. “So tight.” He muttered.

Robin smirked at that. “Better than a woman would be, right?”

Simon snorted and rolled his eyes. “Stop with that, Robin. Already told you I don’t have a real preference.”

“But at least I can’t get pregnant.”

“True. You have the advantage there.” Simon conceded.

“Which would make me… better, yeah?” Robin coaxed.

“Careful.” Simon warned playfully. “If you don’t drop it, I’ll send you to the inn for the night and not let you back in until morning.”

“You’d miss me.”

“Maybe.” Simon shrugged then grinned, leaning down and giving him a swift kiss. “Guess I would a little.”

Robin smiled at him then remembered. “Oh! I saw a man earlier today who asked where the inn was.”

Simon cocked his head. “O… kay?”

Robin backtracked. “I mean… he stood out for some reason. He had a piece of large parchment with him, and he kept looking back at it and then at me.”

“Odd.”

“He asked me my name.”

“And you told him?”

“Yes.”

“What all did he want? What was on the paper?”

“Don’t know. I didn’t get to look at the paper before he rolled it up. He asked my name, and where I lived.”

“Did you tell him that too?”

“... Yes.”

Simon scoffed. “Why would you tell a complete stranger your name and where to find you?”

“He had this weird aura about him.”

Simon gave him a weird look.

“He did.” Robin insisted.

“Well, what other things did he get out of you?”

“Um. Well I told him I worked for you, and that you are the blacksmith…”

“You were just a constant stream of information, weren’t you?”

“I kind of felt compelled to answer.”

“Handsome, was he?”

“No, no.” Robin shuddered. “He was very gaunt, very pale. He was kind of unsettling to look at, honestly.”

“Hm. Odd.” Simon pulled out completely before Robin could whine about it. As it were, Robin pouted for a moment before snuggling up next to him.

Robin loved feeling full and loved the drag and slide of Simon inside of him. The instant he would pull out, Robin always had this cold, empty feeling that he didn’t like. It took a minute for him to feel normal again. He would never admit to Simon how much he loved the sensation of his seed slowly dripping out onto the towel underneath him. Simon would probably think it strange, so Robin kept it to himself.

“Why did you feel the need to share that story?” Simon asked.

“Don’t know. Thought it was interesting enough to share.”

“Suppose so.”

“If you had been there with me, you’d know why it stuck out to me. He also called me ‘boy’, which is rude…”

Simon laughed.

Robin snorted and threw an arm over Simon’s chest. “Shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“I just think that it’s kind of funny someone could get all of that information about you so easily. All you have to do is be a bit creepy, I guess.”

Robin thumped his chest. “If you had been there, you would have done the same thing.”

“Doubtful.” Simon said.

“Let’s just go to sleep.” Robin grumbled. “I have to be up early to buy more horse feed anyway.”

“If you run into that man again, try to avoid telling him yours and mine’s life story, okay?”

Robin thumped his chest again and Simon chuckled. “Good night.” Robin said sharply.

Simon kissed the top of his head. “Good night, my chirping little Robin.”

******************************************************************************

Elias had left the inn early on, before the sun was even up. He had just entered Tunstead, grabbed something to eat, and was now chatting easily with one of the townspeople about nothing in particular.

Elias had been doing this job for years, and he had never once failed to find his targets. He never asked questions about who the target was or why his clients were paying him to find them and occasionally dispose of them. He never cared. He just did the job and collected the money. There were a few times he was hired to dispose of an old client. That didn’t bother him either.

He had never been paid quite as much money as Prince Arthur had offered him to find his old servant and the other boy. He figured the former servant must mean a lot to the prince if he was willing to pay as much as he offered, seeing as how the prince simply wanted him found, and not harmed.. But Elias didn’t ask for unimportant details.

Elias knew who to talk to in the various villages and towns he searched. There was always that one person who knew everyone and everything and loved to share that fact. Typically a woman. Typically loud. Typically a rambly type.

And Elias had found one. Her name was Leah. She was middle-aged. Larger woman. Married. Elias had zeroed in on her and struck up a conversation about the weather, while she was out hanging up her laundry. He chatted with her easily, keeping a friendly air about him, giving a made-up story about why he was passing through.

Elias leaned against the fence while Leah went on about one of the pig farmers stealing another farmer’s piglet, mostly tuning her out and nodding at appropriate bits. Leah’s husband meandered outside, sitting against a barrel, not paying Elias much mind, eating an apple.

Leah finished her story, and Elias noticed she was almost done with her laundry. He straightened up.

“I’m looking for someone. An old friend.” Elias pulled out the parchment with the sketch Prince Arthur had given him. “Merlin is his name. Have you seen him?”

“Merlin?” Leah smiled at hearing that name and looked at the sketch while her husband stiffened up. “Yes. He’s such a sweet boy. He came here last wintertime. Lived with Eileen for a bit. His cousin stayed with Colleen. He helped us fix our barn, too. Now he lives with his cousin just south along the stream. If you follow it, the cabin where he lives is right along there.”

His cousin? The prince hadn’t mentioned a cousin. He mentioned Artemis, maybe that was the cousin.

Elias ventured forward with that name. “Artemis, you mean?”

“Yes, Artemis.” Leah confirmed with a nod. “They are such lovely boys.”

“Indeed.”

“What do you want with him?” Leah’s husband snapped out of nowhere, approaching the two of them. “What do you want with Merlin?”

Elias’ first thought was that Leah’s husband saw right through him and figured Elias was up to no good. Then the man continued. “Why are you seeking out a sorcerer?”

Elias felt surprised at that revelation but didn’t let it show. He opened his mouth to reply and Leah cut him off.

“Aaron, stop it.” She said sharply. “There’s no proof he’s a sorcerer. It’s just rumors and gossip.”

“Is it? He’s been giving us those mixed up concoctions and potions since he arrived and he’s always vague about what’s in them.”

“He was a physician’s assistant before he came here. Everybody knows that. No reason to believe those medicines were anything but. They cured people. No one was ever hurt by them.”

“Yeah, but have you seen him around much since the rumors started?” Aaron retorted. “He’s staying away because he knows we’re on to him.”

“He’s staying away since people started saying that about him because of how people usually react to sorcerers. He’s probably too scared to show up now.”

“As well he should be.” Aaron snorted. “We don’t need sorcerers around here.”

“He’s  _ not a sorcerer _ .” Leah said scathingly. “And I feel bad for him. Being too nervous to come to town because of the way people might treat him.”

Elias cleared his throat and Leah and Aaron both looked at him. “Thank you for your time-”

“Is it true? You said before he was an old friend. Is he really a sorcerer?” Aaron demanded while Leah rolled her eyes.

“I don’t know anything about it if he was.” Elias said truthfully.

“How do you know him?” Aaron grilled further. “He’s maybe 20 and you look twice that. How long have you known him? How could you be ‘old friends’?”

Elias was getting tired of Aaron’s attitude and barrage of questions. “I knew him from when he was a small boy.” He lied further. “‘Old friend’ was perhaps the wrong term. I heard he lived somewhere around here and decided to stop by.”

“Tell him we miss him when you see him.” Leah said.

“Tell him not to show his face back in town.” Aaron griped. Leah slapped his arm.

Elias gave a quick nod and grabbed the reins of his horse, leading it away from these people.

If Merlin was a sorcerer, that would explain why Prince Arthur was so keen on finding him. Camelot was well-known for it’s views on sorcery. It wouldn’t be the first time Camelot overstepped its boundaries and went after a sorcerer after they had long left the kingdom. Curious, though, that the prince had hired him and not the king.

Elias would have preferred a heads up that he might be dealing with a sorcerer, and wondered why the prince hadn’t informed him of that fact.

******************************************************************************

Elias followed the stream like Leah had directed him to do, and after nearly an hour on his horse, he came upon the cabin.

He stayed a decent distance away, directing his horse to stand in the stream and allowed it to drink as he watched a young man with brown hair gut and debone some fish outside.

He assumed this boy was Artemis, but as he was still rather far away, and the young man was facing away from him.

But where was Merlin?

Elias felt his horse lift one hoof, then the other in a nervous prancing manner. He placed his hand comfortingly on her neck, making quiet calming noises to keep her still.

The next ten seconds happened in a blur. Elias’ horse reared up, whinnying loudly, Elias, amidst trying to keep her steady, spied a large water snake poke it’s head up very near the horse and slither onto a rock.

He tried to keep his horse calm and steady and direct her out of the stream, away from the snake, but she wasn’t listening to him, loudly clomping her hooves in the water and raising up, ignoring Elias’ attempts.

As he was trying to direct her to the right, out of the stream, away from the snake, the snake decided to re-enter the water, heading right toward the horse. This proved to be the last straw for the horse, and she reared up again, bucking Elias off, onto the ground.

Elias landed on the ground, on his right side, Or rather, directly onto his right shoulder. He shouted out his pain, sucking in sharply between his teeth. Everything was hazy through his pain, and he rolled onto his back with great effort. He thought he had for sure broken something, which would be just his luck.

As he lay on the ground, trying to find the willpower and fortitude to sit up, he heard his horse clopping over to him. Then the shadow of a person was cast over his face.

Elias realized it was the young man who had been gutting the fish outside the cabin. He tried to focus on him throughout the absolute agony he was in.

The boy angled his head at Elias as he stared down at him. Elias saw that he was holding onto the reins of his horse, petting the horse’s nose calmingly.

This boy had brown hair, and brown eyes, like the prince had described Artemis as having. He was indeed short, and rather plain-looking. The boy looked like he was trying to determine who Elias might be, staring hard at him.

“Please.” Elias grunted out. “I’ve been injured…. Could you… help me up?”

The boy hesitated, although Elias didn’t know why he would. He looked back toward the cabin like he was trying to determine if he should just go back inside.

Then the boy crouched down, holding out one arm and Elias grabbed it with his left as the young man pulled him into a sitting position.

Elias’ chest seized with a new wave of pain. His right arm hung uselessly by his side. He couldn’t even move his fingers.

The young man stood, and pulled Elias up after.

Elias gasped, leaning against the boy, who seemed less than thrilled about it.

“Thank you.” Elias said, voice shaky. “I think my arm is broken.”

The young man looked at his arm and seemed to agree.

“Can you… can you speak?” Elias asked.

The young man shook his head.

_ Then this  _ must  _ be Artemis. _ Elias decided.

Artemis looked at the cabin again, and grabbed the horse’s reins, motioning with his head that Elias should follow him.

Elias followed, stepping carefully, trying not to jostle his arm any further, taking deep breaths to fight through the pain.

Artemis allowed him inside where a tall, lanky young man was grinding something with a mortar and pestle. The young man was pale, black hair, blue eyes… Elias didn’t even need to compare the sketch to him to know that this was Merlin.

Merlin looked caught off guard at the sight of Elias. “Who is this?” He asked.

Artemis pointed to Elias' arm somewhat unhelpfully.

“I don’t mean to intrude…” Elias gritted out. “... It’s just I fell off my horse closeby and… I think I broke my arm.”

“Let me see.” Merlin set down his pestle and went over. “Artemis, help me get his shirt off so I can get a better look.”

Elias gritted his teeth through the pain, lifting his good arm as they bunched up his shirt from the bottom and pulled his good arm out of the sleeve, then pulled the shirt over his head, gathering it at his right shoulder, and then gradually and delicately worked it off completely by sliding it down his injured arm. They worked carefully but Elias still cringed and tensed at any accidental jostling while Merlin apologized frequently.

Elias stared straight ahead, trying not to make any pained noises as Merlin examined his arm.

The time it took felt like an eternity until he heard Merlin say, “Good news. It’s not broken. Only dislocated.”

_ Only  _ dislocated? Elias had never felt such agony in his life. Every slight nudge made him tighten his jaw not to cry out. He couldn’t feel anything but pain radiating from his shoulder. He couldn’t even wiggle his fingers.

“I know how to move it back into place.” Merlin offered. “It’s either that, or trying to secure your arm in some sort of sling until you can see a proper physician.”

“Just… do what you can…” Elias said.

“Artemis, help me clear off the table.” Merlin ordered. “I’ll have, um… What’s your name?”

“Elias.”

“I’ll have Elias lie down on his stomach and I’ll help move it back into place from there.”

Artemis and Merlin quickly cleared off the table and eased Elias onto it, face down. His injured arm dangled off the table and Merlin grabbed it at the wrist and then slowly raised it until it was sticking straight out.

“This is probably going to hurt.” Merlin warned. Elias expected nothing less.

Merlin requested that Artemis sort of rub the shoulder area muscles while Merlin set to work trying to gradually pushing and working the joint back into place. Artemis didn’t seem too thrilled about his job, but he did it anyway.

It was a very strange feeling, feeling his shoulder sort of pop into place again. There was some relief from the pain, but it definitely still hurt. Still, he could breathe through it, he could wiggle his fingers, and most of the pain was gone.

Elias slid off the table and stood against the edge of it. “Thank you.” He said.

Now that the initial emergency was over with, Elias fully realized that his task was over. Merlin was found.

“I should ask for your name, I suppose.” Elias said.

“I’m Merlin.” Merlin said with a friendly smile. “And you’re welcome. Lucky you were close by. What exactly happened?”

“I was letting my horse drink from the stream when a snake popped up and scared her. I was thrown despite my best efforts not to be.” Elias put on his usual cheery voice to keep Merlin at ease with him. He glanced at Artemis. The voice didn’t seem to put him at ease. His brown eyes were full of distrust.

“Bad luck, that.” Merlin said.

“Indeed.” Elias looked at his swollen shoulder.

“You should get a proper physician to look at that, by the way. I can make a rather shoddy sling, but you need to see someone with proper training to make sure it’s back in place and to secure it with a better sling.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis didn’t like Elias, didn’t trust him, from the moment he laid eyes on him.

He had been drawn to the commotion of the sounds of a distressed horse whinnying, and from the second he saw Elias, he knew he wasn’t to be trusted.

Artemis wasn’t sure where he got his sixth sense about people from. Maybe he developed it after years of being hurt by multiple people. He needed to figure out who to trust with only very brief encounters. And Elias was  _ not  _ someone Artemis should trust.

But when he saw him lying there, very injured, arm twisted in a very bad-looking way, Artemis pushed that feeling to the side, knowing it would be cruel to let him lie there and suffer needlessly.

Merlin seemed at ease with Elias, talking with him, asking him where he came from and where he was headed.

Artemis watched Elias’ eyes as he spoke. He had such a friendly tone, to be sure, but his eyes were cold and void of any of the happy emotions he must have been forcing into his words.

It reminded Artemis of one of the men who used to abuse him. How that man used to be so charming and kind to everyone else around them, showing his true nature behind closed doors with Artemis.

It makes Artemis’ stomach turn to remember when he was maybe 13, possibly 14, and he was sitting on the ground outside of the barn, sitting against the wall and staring at the field of barley that was growing, finding it oddly peaceful to watch the stalks sway in the wind.

And then that man exits the barn, talking amicably with the owner of the barn and the owner’s wife about the cold season coming up. Artemis remembers tensing up, on high alert, though the man doesn’t even let on that he sees him.

The man had talked and joked and laughed with the other man and the wife. The wife then made a joke about the man needing to find himself someone he could get settled down with.

The abuser chuckled at that, saying he wasn’t quite the type to settle down, and he was ‘having too much fun being able to run around with whoever he liked to settle down just yet’. Then, he had looked at Artemis and winked at him, smirking.

That fake cheerfulness, the look in the eyes that that man often had when he spoke to others, was the same look in Elias’ eyes right at this moment.

Merlin was telling Elias how to be while he was riding until he could get better treatment for his shoulder. “I don’t have anything else for it,” Merlin said apologetically, “But I know that any physician will tell you it will be quite a number of weeks before you have full use of that arm and shoulder.”

Elias nodded, and seemed to be in deep thought for a few seconds. “I was in Tunstead before I came here. I told them which direction I was headed, and that I was going to follow the stream. They told me that you lived in this cabin near the stream… and I guess it was more or less of a warning because they seem to believe you’re somewhat of a sorcerer.”

Artemis’ heart stopped and he looked at Merlin for his reaction.

Merlin went pale, and he seemed to stumble over his words, “I- I’m not sure- where they would have gotten that… um- I don’t-”

“I have no quarrel with magic users.” Elias held up his good arm. “I was only asking because I thought you might save me some trouble and just sort of heal my arm for me…”

Merlin looked at Artemis.

_ This could be a trap… _ Artemis thought.  _ Maybe he was sent by someone to find out for sure if Merlin is a sorcerer.  _ He silently tried to convey to Merlin not to admit his magic to this man.

Merlin took a deep breath. “Maybe… I could help a bit with that…”

_ Damn it, Merlin,  _ Artemis thought exasperatedly.  _ Tell everyone that passes by, why don’t you? _

Merlin didn’t look at Artemis, perhaps sensing his anger, and grabbed his spellbook off the shelf.

“I think I have a few spells that might work…” Merlin flipped through to a certain section and read for a bit before selecting a spell.

Elias seemed calm as Merlin uttered a spell while having one hand on his injured shoulder. Artemis watched his eyes turn gold for a brief moment, but nothing seemed to change at all with Elias.

“No?” Merlin asked. “Alright… here’s another.”

Merlin read off another one, putting more force into his words. This time, Elias reacted, shifting in surprise and looking at his shoulder.

“How does it feel?” Merlin asked, looking closely at the shoulder.

Elias rotated his arm very slowly. “That certainly felt odd,” he muttered. “But I think that did it.”

Merlin smiled and looked at Artemis proudly, then dropped his gaze when he saw the displeased look Artemis was giving him.

Elias stood. “I thank you for your hospitality and for being willing to help me with my injury.” He said.

“No problem.” Merlin stood with him, leading him outside. Artemis didn’t join them, choosing to stay inside and write out his thoughts in his journal to show Merlin.

He heard them talking outside, though he couldn’t quite hear what was said. Then he heard the sound of a horse clopping Merlin came back inside.

Merlin raised his hands up as soon as he saw Artemis. “I know.” He started, seeing how pissed Artemis was. “I know I shouldn’t have revealed it to him. But he  _ knew. _ And he needed to be healed. I couldn’t just lie and let him go off all injured for the rest of his journey.”

Artemis showed him what he had written out in the journal.

Merlin read it and then shook his head. “Why would it be a trap?” He asked. “Have you ever seen that man in town? Do you think they hired a random man to get injured on our property in hopes I would reveal my magic to him?”

Artemis felt a little embarrassed, since he didn’t think about that too hard.

“Artemis, it’s fine. He’s safe. There was no reason to distrust him. He was friendly, he meant us no trouble… he just needed some help.” Merlin went over to Artemis and rested his hands on his shoulders. “Artemis, I know you have a hard time believing people’s intentions are good, or just trusting people in general, but I  _ assure  _ you, he meant us no trouble. He was just a passerby, alright?”

Artemis was still doubtful. There was something about that man he didn’t like…

Merlin gave him a kiss and Artemis smiled despite himself. “There.” Merlin ran his thumb over Artemis’ lips. “Can we not argue? I hated fighting with you. I love you, Artemis. Just trust me on this, alright?”

Artemis reluctantly nodded. He hated fighting with Merlin as well. Artemis couldn’t stand going back to being at odds with each other.

He decided to let it go. He still didn’t trust the man, but maybe the man didn’t personally mean  _ them _ any harm…

He asked for a kiss and Merlin gave it to him. “My gorgeous Artemis.” Merlin gently embraced him. “I know we got interrupted making dinner. Did you need help with the fish?”

Artemis nodded. He could do it himself, but he wanted Merlin next to him while he was with him. He had missed his lover’s endless prattle.

******************************************************************************

“You going to help plant the fields later this week?” Robin asked, fingers entwining absently in Simon’s hair.

Simon looked up from where he was knelt, eyes looking confused. He slid his mouth off of Robin’s cock with a wet sound.

“Do we have to discuss our future plans while I’m trying to get you off?”

“Sorry.”

“Are you not liking it or something?”

“No, no. I’m loving it. My mind just sort of… wandered…”

Simon stood, clasping his hands firmly on Robin’s shoulders. “If your mind is wandering… then I’m not doing a good enough job of keeping your mind on me.”

“You’re doing a great job, I just-” Robin was interrupted with a harsh kiss, as Simon brought their bodies closer together by grabbing Robin’s waist and yanking him towards himself.

Robin gave a sound of pleasure at Simon’s hands digging into his skin, almost  _ too  _ roughly.

“I think… you shouldn’t… even be able… to  _ think _ …. Let alone  _ speak _ .” Simon said in between kisses. He lifted Robin up and Robin, familiar with what Simon wanted, wrapped his legs tightly around his waist.

Simon walked him over to the bed and unceremoniously dropped him onto it. He then flipped Robin onto his stomach, manhandling him until he had him in the position he wanted.

Robin bit the pillow and moaned his pleasure into it as Simon’s tongue attacked his opening, showing no mercy, yelping as Simon even nipped a bit. That part felt strangely erotic, even if it hurt more than Robin would have expected.

Simon had his fingers slid under Robin’s hip bones, which were rutting uselessly against the mattress. He gripped them hard, bruisingly, pulling up on them every once in a while as he continued his oral assault on Robin’s entrance.

Robin had to keep the pillow shoved into his mouth, his eyes rolling to the back of his back. He was almost drooling, though whether from what Simon was doing or from having the pillow shoved in his mouth, he wasn’t sure which.

Simon pulled away after several minutes, panting. His eyes were dark, Robin noted that the second Simon flipped him over onto his back.

Robin reached out to touch Simon’s firm chest, wanting to feel the hard muscle against his palms. Simon pushed them out of the way, grabbing his wrists, and squeezing tightly, making Robin cry out and then moan.

Simon yanked him upwards, and Robin’s eyes went wide as he was forced to stare into Simon’s lust-filled, dark brown eyes.

“Bet you’re not thinking about anything else, right?” Simon said, almost as a threat.

Robin shook his head, eyes wide. He gasped as Simon tightened the grip on his wrists further. “ **_Good_ ** .” Simon more or less shoved him back against the bed. “Stay.” He ordered, getting up to grab the oil, slowly divesting himself of his own clothes.

Robin was trembling with anticipation. He loved it when Simon got like this. He loved the false anger, the harsh way he spoke to and handled Robin…. It was such a delightful contrast to Simon’s usual gentleness and softness.

Simon set the oil beside the bed, and then flipped Robin back over onto his stomach. Robin felt the heat of Simon’s now bare body partially lying on top of his. He shivered as he felt Simon’s breath ghost his ear.

“This alright?”

“Yes.”

“You want all this?”

“Yes.” Robin shivered again as Simon nipped his ear. “Good boy.” He praised, getting off.

Robin slid his arms under the pillow, clasping his hands together under it.

He cried out sharply, feeling his own cock twitching as Simon shoved two oiled fingers in at once, curving them to expertly find Robin’s sensitive spot.

“ **_Gods_ ** .” Robin breathed as Simon rubbed over it.

Simon stretched him quickly and impatiently. Then the fingers were gone and Robin wiggled his hips in eagerness for the next bit.

He felt Simon’s cock pressing in, slowly but surely, until he was fully in.

Simon grabbed Robin’s leg and encouraged him to move it up closer to his chest. Robin did so, and was  _ not  _ prepared for the absolutely brutal pace Simon set at once.

“Simon!” Robin buried his face into the pillow. It was so close to being too much for him. Simon usually gave him some time to adjust to the intrusion but not this time, as it turned out. Simon’s pace was unforgiving, it was erratic and fast. It burned more than usual and Robin's jaw was clenched to stop himself from crying out in pain.

He loved it.

His eyes were rolling to the back of his head, he was sweating, his fingers dug into the mattress and he even tried pushing back into it, something that Simon loved.

He heard Simon grunt and felt that amazing heat pour into his body and Robin moaned like a whore.

Simon pulled out after a minute. His chest was heaving and his hair was damp from sweat. He paused to catch his breath, and Robin felt him take a look at Robin’s entrance.

Simon swore. “Looks sore.” He brushed it with a finger. “It’s more swollen than usual.” He looked at Robin and Robin saw some worry in his eyes. “Did it hurt?”

“I loved it all, Simon. Don’t worry.” Robin rolled onto his side and steadily stroked his own length, focussing on the throbbing pain inside of himself from Simon’s brutal cock practically tearing through him.

He came with a shudder and Simon was ready with a wet rag to clean it up.

“Was I too much?” Simon said, looking very seriously at Robin. “I know how you like it, but....”

“It was all perfect, Simon.”

Simon tightened his mouth into a firm line. “If you say so…”

“If it were too much, I would say so. Promise.” And Robin means it. Simon cared for his well being deeply, and would never be angry at Robin for asking him to hold back a bit.

“Don’t want to do any real damage. That’s what I was afraid of when I saw how it looked after I was done.” Simon said, referring to Robin’s entrance.

“You didn’t. It feels fine. Just sore.” A soreness that spread deep inside of him and made him feel owned and desired even after it was all over.

Simon helped clean off his opening carefully, tutting to himself that he probably wouldn’t do it quite so rough next time, for his own peace of mind.

Simon curled up beside him in bed, their bodies still bare, Simon’s arms encompassing him.

This was almost as good as the sex, Robin thought. The way Simon cared for and looked after him, wanted to make sure he was safe and happy...

Simon kissed the back of his head. “To answer your question from earlier… I  _ do  _ plan on helping plant the crops.” Robin chuckled at Simon. He had almost forgotten he’d asked. “My only dread is that it will probably be blazing hot like it has been for the past two weeks.”

“Yeah…”

“And with practically no rain, I don’t know how well the crops will fare….”

“We’ll probably have to water them ourselves for a good bit.”

“True. And while I’m dreading planting the seeds in this kind of weather, I don’t believe it would be fair to choose not to help the town plant the crops, but only reap the benefits of the work of those who did.”

“I agree.” Robin said.

Simon shuffled a bit. “What about you? You going to help out?”

“No, I don’t really fancy it.”

Simon pinched his side and Robin giggled. “You’d better help out.” Simon warned playfully.

“I am going to.” Robin squirmed when Simon pinched his side again. “I was only kidding.”

“I hope so. I would love your company while I work out there.”

“Of course.”

Simon moved the blanket higher up around them. “Good night, Robin.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur fought to keep his hands from trembling as he waited for Elias to meet him at the tavern. He very rarely visited the tavern, preferring to drink the much higher quality drinks to be had in the castle. So he got quite a few surprised looks when he entered the tavern. He acted casual, ordering some decidedly watered-down tasting ale, and waited for Elias to arrive.

He kept a neutral face when Elias finally entered the tavern. He nodded at him as Elias sat down in front of him.

Elias waved away the barmaid, not even looking at her when she came to ask him what he wanted.

“He is found.” Elias said simply.

Arthur exhaled a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He gripped his hands on his thighs to stop the shaking. “Where?”

“There is an western village called Tunstead. If you follow the stream going through the town south, there is a cabin maybe an hours journey away from it. That’s where he lives, with the other mute lad you mentioned. You can’t miss it.”

Arthur felt almost lightheaded. His Merlin was found. He would go to fetch him soon, as soon as he gave his father a good enough excuse to leave Camelot-

“I wish, however,  _ sire _ ,” Elias said scathingly, “that you had told me he was a sorcerer. That sort of information should not have been withheld.”

Arthur looked at him sharply, trying to process that. “What?”

“Sorcerers can be a dangerous, unpredictable breed. Withholding-”

“Artemis is a sorcerer?”

Of course. It made perfect sense. Arthur almost laughed at the obviousness of it. Merlin would never have left on his own accord. That boy has a spell on him. Once the boy was dead, the spell would be broken, and Merlin would want to come home with Arthur-

“Not the mute.” Elias looked confusedly at the prince. “Merlin.”

Arthur felt like his chest had been slammed by a battering ram. “What? No. You must be mistaken.  _ Merlin _ can’t be a sorcerer.”

Elias looked at Arthur curiously. “You really didn’t know?” He asked.

“Merlin is  _ not  _ a sorcerer.” Arthur forced a laugh. “I would know if he were.”

“But he is, sire.” Elias insisted. “I saw him use my magic with my own eyes.”

Arthur’s head swirled. He struggled to think clearly.

Merlin?

_ Merlin? _

The same boy who tripped over his own feet, had regularly forgotten basic, simple chores, and once nearly impaled himself on Arthur’s sword when he was bringing it to him… was a sorcerer?

Arthur struggled to comprehend it.

Elias shifted. “My payment, sire?”

“Of course.” Arthur murmured, digging into his pocket and pulling out the rest of Elias’ money in a pouch. “Here.”

Elias narrowed his eyes at Arthur, with a look that could almost be concern. Then the look was gone as quickly as it had appeared and he took the money. “If you ever need my services again, I trust you know where to find me.

******************************************************************************

Arthur slammed his chamber door, zeroing in on the vision of Merlin standing at the foot of his bed.

The apparition looked calm and unbothered in response to Arthur’s aura of anger.

“You lied to me.” Arthur hissed out between gritted teeth. “You deceived me the entire time I knew you.”

The vision lowered it’s head and disappeared.

Arthur made a frustrated noise and threw his pitcher full of water at the ground.

Merlin would pay. Merlin would rue the day he ever laid eyes on Arthur.

******************************************************************************

Artemis seemed thrilled at Merlin’s display of magic.

Merlin made the leaves on the ground swirl at his command, taking various shapes. Artemis grinned and seemed enthralled at Merlin’s magical entertainment.

Artemis scribbled out something onto the journal and showed it to Merlin.

‘ _ I want to feel your magic on my skin’ _ . Merlin read out loud.

Artemis smiled a little at him and Merlin took his hand and held it for a brief moment. Then he turned it palm up and whispered a spell into it.

Artemis held his breath as white petals formed and moved in a flurry in his palm, swirling together to form a beautiful peony.

Artemis grasped it when it was done forming, holding it reverently, looking up at Merlin in delight.

Merlin smiled at him, giving him a kiss.

“Will you go with me to town later this week?” Merlin asked on a whim. “I keep chickening out. And I think I would like you to go with me, for courage.”

Artemis nodded his head, sniffing the flower deeply, looking a bit dreamy.

“I love you, Artemis.” Merlin kissed him again. “You are truly the best thing to ever happen to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. It was a hard one to write. Hope you enjoy


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for how long this took. The story is nearing it's end, and I have a lot to cram into very few chapters, so here is an extra long chapter to make up for your wait.

“Tomorrow.” Merlin said, in response to Artemis’ written question. “We will go to town tomorrow.”

Artemis gave him a doubtful look, lips pursed tightly as he wrote out that Merlin said that same thing three days prior.

“I am aware of that.” Merlin conceded. “But I promise you. Tomorrow.” He went back to flipping through his book.

Artemis huffed a sigh of annoyance and went outside to check on the garden.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tomorrow.” Merlin said, back bent, pulling some weeds. “I know I said that yesterday. But tomorrow we  _ will  _ go.”

Artemis snapped his journal shut. Sooner or later, they needed to face the music together. They needed to find out who was on their side still, despite Merlin’s practicing of magic. And Artemis wanted to know exactly  _ who  _ had destroyed their garden.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis awoke before Merlin, rolling from his right side to his left, facing Merlin. He smiled dreamily, scooting in closer and nuzzling Merlin’s collarbone with his nose, pressing a kiss to his skin. Merlin didn’t stir, small puffs of breath escaping his slightly parted lips.

Artemis started to stretch one arm over him when a loud, insistent knock on the door made him nearly jump out of his skin.

Merlin snorted awake, looking around, bewildered and still bleary from sleep.

Artemis pointed to the door, and another knock sounded out.

Merlin got up, throwing a shirt on while Artemis climbed out after him.

Merlin opened the door, rubbing his eyes. “Yes? Eileen! What are you doing here? Is everything alright?”

Eileen stood at the door, a thin shawl wrapped around her shoulders despite the heat. “May I come in?” She requested, peeking behind Merlin at Artemis.

“Yeah, sure.” Merlin stood aside and let her in. “I’d offer you something, but we don’t have a lot of excess food-”

“I’m not here for that.” Eileen waved him off, sitting down. She looked at Artemis, giving him a quick smile. “Artemis. How are you, love?”

Artemis smiled back and nodded, confused by her visit.

“I’ll not waste any time about why I am here.” Eileen straightened up in her chair. “There are certain rumors going around about you two. I need to know the truth.”

Merlin glanced anxiously at Artemis. “Go on…”

Eileen took a deep breath. “The rumor is that you, Merlin, and possibly Artemis… have been practicing magic.” She stared hard at Merlin as she said this. “Is it true? Are you sorcerers?” Under the hard gaze, Artemis saw some nervousness behind the eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin’s first thought was that Eileen was terribly brave coming here alone to question someone people had been telling her was a sorcerer.

His second thought was to wonder if she was the sort to accept the use of magic… She had been such a part of his life when they first arrived at Tunstead, even willing to take him in and being a big part of why he and Artemis lived in this cabin. He didn’t know what he would do if she turned on him because of his magic.

“You know they were saying that about you?” Eileen asked.

“Yes… I had heard…”

“So, is it true then?”

“Who told you this? Who started it?” He asked quietly.

“Helen was telling the whole town a few weeks ago.” Eileen answered. “Gods know I barely listen to a word that woman utters. She’s got nothing going on in her life except to spread gossip.” Even as Eileen said it, there was doubt in her voice, a very slight tremble, like she feared this time Helen was correct.

“And the other townspeople… They believe her?”

“It’s a mix. Some do, others don’t.” Eileen leaned forward towards Merlin. “But I need to know for certain. Are you practicing sorcery?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin looked at Artemis, perhaps trying to find out how Artemis wanted him to answer.

Artemis realized he was holding his breath.

This was the moment he had been dreading; coming out about the magic, confirming the rumors…

The townspeople’s opinions were split right now, according to Eileen. Confirming it to Eileen meant every last person would know the truth. Merlin wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

But there was so much danger if they all knew. Artemis knew how some people reacted to sorcerers and he knew for a fact someone would retaliate against them even worse than they already did.

Merlin hated hiding his true self. He wanted to practice it freely, to have people be able to come to him for help, to trust his abilities. He spoke about it to Artemis sometimes. Recently, he had used the incident with the stranger Elias as an example. He wanted anyone and everyone to be able to come to him if they needed his help. And Artemis wanted that for him too.

Perhaps this was the first step. Perhaps things would be bad for a while, and then people would adjust to it, come to trust him. Artemis could only hope.

Artemis took a deep breath through his nose. The first step was always the hardest.

He stared down at his feet, waiting for Merlin’s confession.

Merlin looked away from Artemis, held his head up higher, and looked Eileen in the eye. “It’s a lie. I don’t practice magic.”

Artemis’ head snapped up to look at him, unable to hide the shock in his eyes.

Merlin continued. “Benjamin was watching Artemis while he was sick and I had to go into town. He discovered a spell book. The book was a hand-me-down of sorts, from someone dear to me. I couldn’t bear to be rid of it. It has sentimental value. And I know in this kingdom, at least, it’s legal to own a magical book or item for any reason. So I didn’t think any trouble would come of it.” Merlin lied calmly, much to Artemis’ surprise. “I tried to explain it to Benjamin, but it was too late. His mother had pretty much told everyone she knew.”

Eileen seemed to mull over his words. “You’ve never used the book?”

“Never.”

“Just for sentimental value?”

“Exactly that.”

Eileen clapped her hands down on her thighs like she was relieved. She laughed. “Good to know.”

Merlin smiled back at her, then looked at Artemis, who was still entirely taken aback by Merlin’s lie.

“So Helen is just full of it again?” Elieen joked.

“Must be.” Merlin said. “I knew that rumor was going around. I tried to do a bit of damage control but,” Merlin shrugged. “People continue to believe whatever they like.”

“Which is why you weren’t coming to town?”

“Naturally, I was worried how people might… react to my presence. I wanted to stay away until the rumors died down. But… it’s gone on for a bit longer than I expected…”

“I will make sure that they all know the truth.” Eileen stood. “I am relieved it’s not true. I was almost too nervous to come down here. I feel a bit silly now.”

“Thank you for coming down here and getting the truth.” Merlin shifted from one foot to the other. “You may have heard… Our garden was destroyed a while back… Any idea who did that?”

Eileen looked sympathetic. “I did hear about that… a step too far if you ask me, even if the rumors were true. You shouldn’t mess with someone’s food like that. But I believe I heard that it was Neil and Rosemarie’s children who did it.”

Merlin blinked. “Children?”

“Well… they are in their teen years. But yes. I heard them boasting about what they had done. Most people wanted Neil and Rosemarie to give them a good, strong paddling for it, but they wouldn’t punish it. The entire family is a mess of savages anyway.” Eileen waved it off. “Once I quell the rumors, I’m sure you won’t have to worry about anything like that anymore. But I’m sorry they did that to you. If you ever need any extra food to help you out, you know where I am.”

Eileen decided to take her leave shortly after that, giving Merlin and Artemis each a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Merlin watched her go, turning back to face Artemis once she was out of sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Artemis quickly scribbled in his journal,  _ ‘you reely lied to her’ _ .

“I couldn’t do it… I couldn’t confess to it. It was too dangerous.”

_ ‘I reely thot you wer going to say it.’ _

“I almost did.” Merlin admitted. “I was so close to it.”

_ ‘You want to be free.’ _

“I do. I really do.” Merlin exhaled deeply through his nose. “And I came  _ so close  _ to just admitting it all and telling the truth. And then I looked at you… and I knew it wasn’t fair to you.”

Artemis angled his head curiously.

“I’m used to being ostracised,” Merlin explained. “I’m used to being treated a certain way. I could handle being an outcast again, like I was in my old village. I was prepared to be, for the sake of being known for who I really am. But I looked at you, and I knew it that moment that you deserved better. I love you, Artemis. I want you to be happy and above all, safe.”

Artemis was touched. He went up to Merlin and kissed him.

That could not have been an easy decision to make, knowing how badly Merlin wanted to be out and accepted.

It wasn’t the right time. Artemis squeezed Merlin tight quickly, trying to say, ‘ _ One day, my love. One day you will be free to be who you are without fear of others _ ’.

******************************************************************************

Robin sat backwards in a chair, watching Simon carefully shave his face with a single blade in front of the mirror. The crisp, clean scent of the soap Simon had used to lather onto his face filled the air as Robin, mesmerized, watched Simon systematically use quick, short strokes to get rid of the facial hair he had let grow for the past week.

The scrape of the blade was the only noise heard for some time until Simon turned to look at Robin. “Like what you see?”

“Huh?” Robin started a bit, shaken from thoughts.

“You’ve seen me shave before. Why the staring all the sudden?”

“Just kind of zoned out. Sorry.”

The truth was, seeing Simon meticulously sliding the blade over his skin had Robin’s heart pumping like mad. He wet his lips, thinking about Simon running the flat of the blade down his own skin, kept at Simon’s mercy, wondering if, in the next second, Simon would press in a bit too far and Robin would be able feel the sharp sting as a small cut would be made, and see the blood start to trickle down… he held his breath, shaking away the thoughts like he was scared Simon might hear them.

Simon returned to shaving. “Tomorrow is the day we help with the crop planting, Robin.”

“Uh-huh.” The blade slid down Simon’s neck, then back up, leaving the skin bare and smooth.

“It’s going to be a blistering hot day. I’m predicting it now.” Simon lifted his chin up to tighten the skin on his neck, doing a few quick strokes to the side to get the rest of the hairs he’d missed. He grabbed a damp cloth and wiped the blade clean before resuming his task.

The blade caught the light of the candle and shone brightly. Robin could picture Simon straddling him on the bed, one hand holding him down while the other hand held the blade up, admiring it before running the very tip down Robin’s chest, scraping lightly enough to draw the little beads of blood-

He noticed Simon giving him a weird look. He jumped. “What? Did you say something?”

“Nothing of importance.” Simon said slowly. He wiped the blade clean for the last time and then wiped his face clean as well with a damp rag. He went over to Robin, turning his cheek to him. “Feel?”

Robin felt his freshly-shaved face. “Yeah, it’s a smooth shave.”

Simon smiled. “You zoned out quite a bit there at the end.”

“Sorry.”

“Kind of creepy.”

“Sorry.” Robin repeated. “I just got distracted and was thinking.”

“About?”

Robin shook his head. He’d never admit it. “Nothing. Just a lot of nothing.”

Simon raised an eyebrow like he didn’t believe him but dropped the subject. “What are you going to do as part of helping tomorrow?”

“Probably be one of the ones planting the seeds.” Robin said.

“I’ve been told a few rocks weren’t properly cleared out. They want me helping to pry them out.”

“Shouldn’t like… a horse or something help pull the rock out? Seems like a big task, even for you.”

“Nah, I’ve seen the rocks already. Not too big. Just a lot of digging. And I’ll have some help.”

“If you say so… Why are they doing that the  _ day of  _ the planting?”

Simon shrugged. “Poor planning? Didn’t notice them? Who knows? Either way, I am up to the task as long as I can count on you to bring me plenty of water.”

“Will do.” Robin smiled at him.

Simon tapped his nose affectionately. “Perfect. Bed time?”

“Bed time.” Robin agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the dark, Robin pressed his face up against Simon’s bare chest, wondering for the millionth time in his life that he wanted/allowed the men he loved to inflict pain on him.

He frowned. Had he loved the prince? Maybe… or maybe he was just confused because the prince was the first man to ever show him any sort of attention. Robin half-smirked. If the relationship had been a bit different, Robin would have loved to have bragged to Simon that he had one caught the attention of a prince.

Robin rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. He was pretty sure that he loved Simon, although they had never said it to one another. Robin would love to hear Simon say he loved him… But he didn’t want to be the first to say it.

His thoughts trailed back to the thought that started all the thinking: Why was he so keen on having the men in his life inflict any sort of pain on him? For gods sakes, he and Simon had role-played Simon  _ raping _ Robin twice now. The thought of being held down and forced to take Simon was such an arousing thought… Although Simon didn’t seem as keen on the concept, so Robin hadn’t asked him to do it since the last time.

Robin loved his hair being pulled with such forcefulness and intensity that Simon had to be the one to pause or stop and half-jokingly say out loud that he was scared of tearing Robin’s scalp off. But it was such an intense pleasure for Robin.

He loved his wrists being held down and squeezed so hard that they felt like they might break, so hard that he could barely wiggle his fingers.

He liked Simon striking him with his hand, across the face, or landing squarely on his thighs or backside, causing a loud, sharp sound to fill the air. Simon used to fret about striking too hard, but Robin thought the prince had always struck much, much harder.

And just now, tonight, picturing Simon delicately cutting into his skin with the blade-

Robin squeezed his eyes shut tightly, hand going under the loose band of his night-breeches (breeches one wears strictly at night was a new concept Simon introduced him to. Much more comfortable than regular breeches) and touched his scars.

He hated his scars. He hated what they represented. He was stuck with them forever because of his own personal weakness and being manipulated by the prince into believing he would somehow like Robin more and appreciate his loyalty. Instead, he ended up tossed in a dungeon and left for dead.

Robin pulled his hand out, and rolled onto his other side, facing away from Simon. There was something very wrong with him, he knew it for a fact… going through pure hell with the prince in the hopes of finally being loved by someone, just getting away with his life… Finding someone who cared for him deeply… and wanting him to emulate the sort of things the prince had done to him… Possibly marking him with more scars… and somehow that thought was arousing to him.

_ Gods, what’s wrong with my brain? _ Robin thought, angry at himself.

“Having trouble sleeping, love?” Simon whispered to him.

“Yeah.”

“Dreading tomorrow?”

“That’s not it…” Robin rolled over to face him. “My mind is just going all sorts of different directions.”

“Something bothering you?”

“Sort of…”

“Tell me what it is?”

Robin hesitated. He felt Simon brush his cheek with one hand. “If something is bothering you, I want to know in case I can help.”

“Can I be vague?”

Simon laughed. “Sure.”

“I’ve just…” Robin swallowed. “I’ve always had the feeling there was something wrong with me.”

“You feel ill?” Simon sounded concerned.

“Not that.”

“What do you mean then?”

“Don’t you ever think that something might be wrong with me?” Robin’s voice hitched at the last word.

“Why would I think that? What would be wrong with you?” Simon put his arm around Robin, scooting in closer.

“Well… even you’ve said I’m very odd….”

“I’m mostly joking about that… I never meant it in a bad way.”

“You’re not the first person to say that to me, though.”

“Well, I always thought you were a bit peculiar, but you’re cute, so I let it slide.”

Robin reached back with one leg and playfully kicked at him. “Don’t call me ‘cute’.” He grumbled.

Simon laughed. “Alright, fine. But there’s nothing wrong with you, in all seriousness. You’re just a bit odd. That’s all.”

“That’s not all, though.” Robin paused. “Does it ever make you feel uncomfortable when I… ask for certain…. Things?”

“Like what, for example?”

“Like, when I ask you to strike me and… stuff.”

Simon seemed to consider that. “Haven’t we already had this conversation?”

“I don’t believe so.”

“Seems like we have… Either way, sometimes I fear I’m going to hurt you too much, but you seem to enjoy it, so it doesn’t bother me. Everyone has their sexual ‘thing’. I figure that’s just yours.”

Robin thought about that. Maybe it wasn’t so bad that he liked a bit of pain to go along with the pleasure. It certainly didn’t seem to bother Simon….

But there was something in the back of his mind that bugged him about it. He tried to lay there and think about what it was, but he had nothing.

“Robin?”

“Huh?”

“You went silent, I was making sure you were okay.”

“Yeah, no I’m good. I was just thinking.”

Simon raised up and gave him a kiss. “Why don’t we talk more about it in the morning? We have an early morning and a long day ahead of us.”

It would definitely give him more time to think about his own peculiarities. Maybe he could pinpoint it and talk to Simon about it further.

“Alright.” Robin said.

Simon rolled back onto his back. “Good night, Robin. Sleep tight.”

“Sleep tight, Simon.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin’s eyes stung from the sweat. He kept wiping it away, but the sweat just kept pouring down his face.

He was entirely done with today. He was tired of scattering seeds in the sweltering heat. He had a lot of people helping, but it seemed like endless work. And this was just the first field…

He wiped away more sweat, and looked over when Simon was helping to pry a rock out of the ground. He had another man helping him, but Robin could see they were both straining as they got it out of the ground.

_ Probably should have gotten a horse to help pull it out and drag it away _ , Robin thought.

He watched Simon and the other man lift it and carry it carefully out of the field and set it down away from where any crops would be planted.

Robin looked at the bag of seeds tied around his waist. He needed a break.

He walked over to Simon, who was catching his breath beside the rock. He looked red and damp from sweating. He managed to smile at Robin when he saw him coming. “That one was the toughest one so far.” He said, out of breath.

“How many more to go?”

“Just the one.”

“I’m going to get a drink from the pump and take a break.” The other man said, starting to head over there.

“Water sounds lovely once I catch my breath.” Simon said.

“I can get you some.” Robin offered.

“Please.” Simon sat on the rock and wiped his face with the bottom of his tunic.

Robin went to the pump and grabbed a bucket and a ladle. He filled the bucket and started walking back.

He kept his head down most of the journey back, tired as could be, until he was close to where Simon was.

He was puzzled by someone standing next to him, chatting quite animatedly with him. It wasn’t until he got closer that he realized it was Carinna and he nearly saw red. What the hell was she doing here?

She was wearing a nice dress again, and her hair was in a long braid. When he got close enough, he saw that she was wearing lip color again. He was no expert in cosmetics by any means, and wouldn’t know the first thing about it, but even he knew that color was all wrong for her.

Simon almost looked guilty when he saw Robin, and gave him a look that said he felt uncomfortable about Carinna being here.

Carinna stopped pretending to be overly happy when she saw Robin. “Oh. What’s he doing here?” She said in regards to Robin. Robin fought the urge to roll his eyes and set the bucket down by Simon. “Here.” He said. “I got you your water.”

Simon thanked him and dipped the ladle in the water, drinking deeply. He sighed after his drink. “Nothing like water on a hot day.” He said.

Robin smiled at him and took the ladle from him, taking a drink for himself.

“Aren’t you going to ask if I would like a drink?” Carinna asked Simon. Her tone was flirtatious, but it was clear she was upset he didn’t offer her any.

Before Simon could say anything, Robin said, “I brought Simon the water because he’s done a lot of work today. Have you done anything?”

Simon turned away to hide a smile and Carinna looked offended. “I haven’t any work clothes.” She said tersely.

“All clothes are work clothes if you don’t mind a little dirt. It all comes clean at the end of the day.” Robin said. “Simon said that he believes if one is going to eat the crops when they are grown, one should also help plant them.”

Carinna’s jaw stiffened.

Simon cleared his throat. “Thank you for stopping by to chat with me, Carinna, but I should get started on the next rock. Don’t want to delay the others.”

Robin hoped Carinna would take the hint. Instead, she sidled up to him, placing those uncomfortably long fingers on his shoulder and said, “Maybe I could keep you company while you work. I’ve got nothing else to do, and you look like you could use someone to cheer you on.”

Robin’s jaw tightened and he thought his teeth would crack from biting down so hard to keep from letting her have it.

He sincerely hoped Simon would tell her to take a hint and leave, but instead, as polite as ever, Simon smiled and said, “I don’t think that’s necessary, Carinna. Robin here is great company. You must be sweltering hot in that dress. Why don’t you find someplace to keep cool while we keep going?”

“Well…” Carinna seemed to struggle for an excuse. “Maybe after you’re done, you can find me and we can spend some time cooling off together?”

_ Take a hint, you daft floozy,  _ Robin thought.

Simon kept smiling, thought Robin could tell he was getting irritated. “Nah, me and some of my mates were going to relax in the tavern after.”

“Maybe some other time then.”

Simon said nothing to that, instead replying, “Off you get, then. Wouldn’t want you out in the hot sun any longer than you need to be.”

Carinna rolled her shoulders back and lifted her chin. “Good day to you, Simon.” She said nothing at all to Robin, not that he expected her to, and walked off.

Robin waited until she was out of earshot before saying, “Gods, can’t she take a hint?”

Simon laughed, but there was no mirth to it. “She does grate on one’s nerves.”

“Can’t she see you aren’t interested in her?”

“I’m not sure…” Simon took another drink. “I feel like I made my feelings very clear, both when I ended the betrothment and when she came back.”

“I wanted to hit her.” Robin said.

“Robin, you can’t hit a lady, you should know that.”

“I know.” Robin said, exasperatedly. “But I  _ wanted  _ to.”

Simon smiled. “Can you actually keep me company or do you have more work to do?”

“I have to finish my section, and then start on the other field. The next field is for squashes.”

“Mm, I do love a good squash stew…”

“I can make some for you when they are ready to be harvested.”

“Hold you to that. I see my other helper is headed back this way. I’ll see you after the day is done.”

“At the tavern, or was that just to get rid of Carinna?”

Simon winked, “I’ll meet you at the tavern, love.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin gave Artemis the first fresh pastry while he waited for his own to be ready. Artemis bit into it with immense satisfaction.

Merlin waited for Tiff, the woman running the pastry stall, to hand him his.

Tiff poured the same sweet drizzle she had poured over Artemis’ and gave it to him. “Careful, it’s still hot and very sticky.”

Merlin accepted it eagerly. “Thank you very much.”

“By the way,” Tiff added, “I never believed the rumors.”

Merlin managed a smile, feeling a guilty knot in his stomach give a twist. “Well, I appreciate that.”

“I knew you could never be a sorcerer. But, gossip travels fast in a small town.”

“It really does. Thank you for the pastries.”

“Any time.”

Merlin turned to Artemis, who was almost done devouring his treat. “You wanted to see Colleen?”

Artemis nodded, licking at the corners of his mouth.

Merlin offered his arm and Artemis linked his through. Merlin started to say something else, and then he spotted Benjamin from across the way, standing near the pig pen.

Merlin felt another surge of guilt and he tried hard not to let it show on his face.

Benjamin’s mouth was set in a firm line, his face stern and angry as he looked at Merlin.

With Eileen telling everyone that Benjamin and his mother were lying about Merlin being a sorcerer, Benjamin was probably pissed at Merlin for making him out to be a liar. Part of Merlin thought that he had a right to be pissed, and the other part figured that Merlin had made Benjamin promise to tell the others that he was harmless and that he only ever used his magic for good, and Benjamin clearly hadn’t done it.

Benjamin turned away from Merlin, walking away from him, but not before giving a quick scowl.

_ Artemis’ safety is more important than Benjamin being angry at me for lying about being a sorcerer and making him look bad _ . Merlin thought.

He had started reciting that first part in his head like a mantra.  _ Artemis’ safety is more important than ___ _ . And it was true. Merlin could be in hiding for a bit longer. He could stand certain people thinking ill of him. As long as Artemis was safe and happy. That’s all that mattered.

Merlin looked at Artemis, who hadn’t noticed the silent exchange of looks between Merlin and Benjamin, and who was happily licking the last of the sticky pastry coating from his fingers.

Merlin nudged him lightly. “Let’s go see Colleen.”

******************************************************************************

Robin wrapped his legs as tightly as he could around Simon’s waist and tilted his head high up, giving Simon access to bite and suck the delicate skin of his neck.

It took him two entire days to get over his hangover after his evening with Simon at the tavern after working in the fields. He spent those two days bent over a bowl spewing his stomach’s contents into it, and then feebly crawling back into bed while Simon tsked and reminded him that he had warned Robin to take it easy.

Now that he was better, he was eager to thank Simon for taking care of him for those two days in the best way he knew how.

As Simon plunged deeply into him at a relentless pace, Robin dug his nails into his lover’s back and shouted out his pleasure.

Simon brushed that sensitive spot inside of him and Robin groaned throatily. “Simon, yes… there.” “I have you.” Simon slid one arm under Robin’s hips and lifted him slightly, getting a better angle.

“You feel so amazing.” Robin breathed out. “Oh gods, that’s it!”

Simon pressed a rough, sloppy kiss to the side of Robin’s head, never faltering in his pace.

Robin felt his orgasm building up and just as he was about to wrap his hand around his cock and bring himself off, he felt Simon’s hips stutter and felt that warm rush of seed go deep inside of him. Robin sighed dreamily, letting his legs relax and fall onto the bed.

Simon caught his breath, pulling out. He flopped next to Robin. “You didn’t cum.” He noted.

Robin shook his head, but he honestly didn’t mind. “I’ll take care of it.” He grabbed his cock and pumped steadily, staring up at the ceiling.

Simon stroked Robin’s protruding hipbone. “You liked it, though?” He made sure.

“Yes.” Robin’s voice strained and he bit down on his lip, the pleasure building.

Simon kissed Robin’s shoulder, silently watching him. Robin was very aware of his gaze and the heat radiating off of him as he focussed on bringing himself to completion. Listening to Simon’s breathing try to return to normal, he closed his eyes, spreading his legs wider, getting closer and closer…

He gasped and his eyes flew open at Simon’s fingers prodding his entrance, pushing their way inside. He whimpered as they filled him up again, going in as far as Simon could manage.

Robin swallowed. “Simon, yes…” He exhaled, and trembled as he came.

Simon slipped out once he was done, grabbing a rag. “Thought that might help.” He smirked at Robin.

Robin half-laughed, out of breath. “That was good.” He thanked him.

Simon wiped them both clean, tossing the rag to the side, getting back in bed.

Robin pressed in close to him. “You’re all sweaty.” He noted.

“Well, it was quite the workout.” Simon wiped his own brow. He turned to face Robin and Robin looked into his brown eyes and smiled.

“You’re happy, Robin?” Simon asked softly.

“I’m very happy, Simon.”

“You trust me?”

“Of course.” Robin kissed him quickly on the mouth.

“And if you weren’t happy, you would tell me?”

“Yes.” Robin vowed, wondering why Simon was questioning his happiness.

“I daresay you haven’t had time to think about what we discussed a few nights ago.”

“Huh?”

“When you were talking about how you wondered if there was something wrong with you and you said you would try to figure out what it was that was bothering you.” Simon prompted.

“Oh yeah.” Robin remembered. “Well, I had one hell of a hangover for the past two days, so I haven’t had much time to consider it.”

“I figured that.” Simon adjusted the pillow under his head. “Let me know, though, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis was terrified.

After Merlin made his comment a while back about wanting Artemis to be the one to take him in bed, it was the only thing he could think of.

Merlin hadn’t really brought it up since, which was a relief, but Artemis knew he would again at some point.

Artemis was curious, of course, as to what it felt like. He wondered what sort of sounds Merlin might make, and if he were as vocal receiving as he was giving. He probably was…

Artemis wondered how to go about it, how to make it good for him. Back when Artemis was a ball of nerves about having sex with him, Merlin was patient and gentle. He would speak gently to Artemis, caress him, and would immediately pause or stop when Artemis seemed uncomfortable or frightened.

Artemis doubted that Merlin would need much of that. Merlin had said before that before Artemis, he was usually the one being taken when he was with men. So he would probably not need Artemis to be coaxing and gentle to ease him into it like Artemis had required.

Artemis thought back to the very beginnings of their relationship, even before they were having actual sex. He tried to remember all the ways Merlin made it pleasant and caused Artemis to feel at ease and trust him with each session.

In those beginning stages, Merlin was patient, and he painted the most delicious imagery and made the sweetest promises to Artemis when Artemis was just starting to trust him enough to fully relax in his presence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ Merlin trailed his finger up Artemis’ arm. Artemis shivered at the unique sensation and turned to look at him, smiling shyly. _

_ They lay on the grass in front of the lake, Merlin cradling him from behind. _

_ “You’re very pretty. Has anyone ever told you that?” Merlin whispered to him. _

_ Artemis blushed and shook his head. _

_ “So pretty.” Merlin leaned in for a kiss and Artemis accepted it. _

_ Merlin’s mouth was so soft. It felt good to kiss him. _

_ “You deserve the world, my pet.” Artemis blinked at hearing those words. “You deserve to be treated with the utmost reverence and care.” _

_ Artemis didn’t know how to react to that. He turned his head to stare at the lake again. _

_ “Artemis.” Merlin pauses after saying his name, like it’s the most pleasant word to utter. “Artemis.” _

_ Artemis turned around to face him, and Merlin ran the back of his hand down his face. _

_ “Look at you. You’re so pretty.” Merlin shook his head like he couldn’t believe it. He kissed him again. “I want to spoil you every single day. I want every day to be the best for you. You deserve that. You do.” _

_ Artemis stared up at Merlin in wonder. No one had ever spoken to him like this before… Merlin spoke to him like he were the most precious treasure. _

_ Merlin lowered himself down and kissed Artemis’ neck, whispered praises against his skin, causing it to prickle up. _

_ “You deserve to feel good.” Merlin whispered to him. Artemis held his breath. “One day I’ll make you feel good. One day. When you’re ready.” _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

Merlin’s words were often soothing, full of kindness and love. In the early days of their intimacy, it worked to calm Artemis and keep him grounded while Merlin showed him how good it could be to be intimate with another person.

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Merlin pressed soothing kisses to Artemis’ waist and stomach, twisting and curling his fingers inside of him. _

_ “Don’t fight me, pet.” Merlin said softly. “I feel you tensing. Relax. It will be so good.” _

_ Artemis took deep, controlled breaths until he could relax. He heard Merlin hum. “There we go, pet.” _

_ Artemis’ mouth fell open in a silent moan as Merlin pushed in just a bit deeper. “You look positively tantalizing.” He whispered against Artemis’ skin. “You are achingly beautiful.” _

_ Artemis never knew how to react after Merlin offered up his praises. He never thought of himself as anything special, but clearly Merlin thought he was an absolute treasure. _

_ “Artemis.” Merlin curled his fingers again and Artemis lifted his hips in response. “Artemis, you are something. You are truly something special.” _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

Merlin had a way with words. His mouth could spew utter filth into Artemis’ ears while they made love and it sometimes shocked Artemis the things his dirty mind could come up with to say.

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

_ Artemis stood on his knees, bent slightly, supporting his weight against the wall in front of him. Merlin kept him steady with one soothing hand on his chest, keeping his back pressed flush to Merlin's chest. _

_ Merlin thrust into him, making sure to hit the spot that made Artemis see stars. “You take me so well.” He nipped Artemis’ ear. “You feel like warm silk surrounding my cock.” _

_ Artemis leaned his head back at that, exposing his throat to Merlin to be kissed and sucked. _

_ Merlin licked a stripe up his neck. “I’ve been wanting you all day.” _

_ Merlin curled one finger over the head of Artemis’ cock, and Artemis felt a shock go through him. Merlin pushed down on his erection and then released, watching it bob up and down briefly. “He wants to be touched, doesn’t he?” Merlin murmured in Artemis’ ear. “He’s aching for it.” _

_ Artemis nodded rapidly, chest tightening when Merlin wraps his hand around it and strokes it when continuing to thrust into Artemis. _

_ Artemis’ eyes roll to the back of his head, pressing back against it, feeling his cock throb and swell further in Merlin’s grip. _

_ “You’ll come for me, yeah? Paint the wall with it?” Merlin sucked hard at Artemis’ earlobe. “I want to satisfy that deep, gnawing need you have to be filled with me. I want you to feel this for days, every single step you take to be a reminder of this moment, right how. Do you feel how deep I am in you? You feel so full, right now, don’t you? When I finish, when my seed fills you like you  _ need  _ to be filled, you’ll feel like you can barely take it all. It will be so close to too much for you to take. And then, when I pull away, you’ll try to keep it all inside, won’t you? I’ve seen you try. You want me to be a part of you for as long as possible. You keep your thighs together and you tense up, trying to prolong the warmth and the sensation of it in you. You love being filled to bursting, I know you do. Gods, you’re so eager for it.” _

_ Merlin’s words and the sultry way he spoke were not fair. Artemis couldn’t argue with a single thing he said. Artemis had come to crave the feeling of Merlin dragging his length inside of him. He savored every single last drop of seed Merlin gave to him. _

_ Artemis wet his lips, feeling his orgasm building. Merlin felt it too, speeding up his strokes until Artemis came with a gasp, his seed splattering on the wall in front of him like Merlin had described. _

_ Merlin removed his hand from supporting Artemis’ chest and grabbed Artemis’ hips, yanking him back forcefully with every thrust. Artemis pressed his palms against the wall and rested his weight against it, his orgasm making him super sensitive to Merlin relentless pounding. _

_ He heard Merlin suck in sharply and Artemis opened his mouth in a silent cry of pleasure when he felt Merlin’s seed pour into him, the warmth deeply satisfying. _

_ Merlin stayed in until he was getting too soft, then he slid out easily, and Artemis stretched out onto his stomach at once. He could feel the cum start to leak out after a minute, and he quietly mourned the loss. _

_ Merlin swiped his finger through the cum and pushed some of it back inside. Artemis jolted at the filthiness of such an action, then he smiled to himself dreamily. He wanted as much of Merlin to stay inside of him for as long as he could. Merlin was ensuring that was the case. _

_ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ _

Merlin was amazing when it came to sex. He knew all the right things to say and do to keep Artemis at ease and get him panting and huffing out his pleasure. Artemis suspected he was going to be quite rubbish at taking Merlin…

******************************************************************************

Arthur’s heart raced as he unlocked the wooden box in his hands.

He knew there were rooms in the castle that were kept under lock and key that contained various magical artifacts and books and the like. He read through the catalogs of such items in secret until he found which one he wanted.

He was entrusted with all the keys to the various chambers and parts of the castle, so the only issue getting into the room the artifact he needed was in was not getting caught so the king wouldn’t be alerted to his son was sneaking into one of those rooms without his knowledge and permission.

He was in and out of the room silently, tucking the box into a bag at his waist. No one saw him go in or out.

Now he sat in his room at his table, slowly opening the wooden box.

The piece inside was in two pieces, two half moon shapes. It was gold and silver twisted together, and when Arthur held it close to his face, he could see the tiny runes etched all along the metal.

It was surprisingly heavy for such a thin piece of jewelry.

Arthur held up both pieces and carefully touched the ends together, causing it to seal in a perfect circle. The runed flashed briefly… and then the piece separated a second later.

Arthur wasn’t concerned. He knew why that had happened.

The necklace, for lack of a better word, was designed to block magic users from using their magic. His father had ordered it to be used a handful of times during the Great Purge on certain sorcerers that had mastered their evil craft well and were too powerful to be held before execution without it.

But without being around a sorcerer’s neck, the seal wouldn’t hold. It would break apart at once.

But once it was on, and the sorcerer’s magic was blocked, it was bound to whoever had put it on, and only they could take it off again.

Arthur held the halves up to the light, watching it gleam. “Oh Merlin… you will look so pretty with this on.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin and Artemis were skipping stones across the lake. Artemis was amazingly skilled at it, getting a good six or seven skips on average before the stone sunk.

Merlin searched for the most flat, most smooth stone, angled it just right… and got three skips before it sank.

He heard Artemis snort and turned to see him grinning at Merlin’s bad luck with the stones.

“I haven’t had much practice in a few years.” Merlin insisted.

Artemis gave him a look like,  _ ‘ Uh huh, I’m sure  _ that’s _ why you’re so bad at this.’ _ And then he skipped a stone seven times across the water.

“Show-off.” Merlin grumbled, picking up a stone while Artemis smirked, looking for another one to skip.

Merlin hefted his flat stone, waited until Artemis was looking, and quickly cast a spell before skipping the stone across the entire lake.

Artemis gave him a look that said, ‘ _ Really?’ _

“So I cheated a bit on that toss.” Merlin said. “Just a little.”

Artemis rolled his eyes, grabbing his journal.

_ ‘Can’t win without magic, hm? I am going to take a swim _ .’

Merlin took his shirt off. “A swim sounds good.” He agreed.

He took their clothes and put them high on the bank before joining Artemis in the lake.

Artemis swam in laps in the middle, his legs kicking up the water, dunking his head under and shaking the excess water off like a dog.

Merlin stayed mostly in the same spot, slowly kicking his legs underwater to stay afloat, bobbing in place, sometimes watching the birds in the trees, or watching the leaves move in the wind. His eyes were drawn to Artemis going underwater for a moment, emerging a few feet away from his original spot.

Artemis wiped his eyes free from water, and watched a bird fly over the lake in awe. Merlin’s eyes were fixed on Artemis, scarcely noticing anything else around him. He swam closer to Artemis, taking his hand.

“You look so beautiful, love.” Merlin said before kissing him.

Artemis’ hair was tangled from being underwater, and his dark brown eyes shone brightly when he looked at Merlin. Merlin hand cupped Artemis’ soft face, taking in his joy and bright eyes.

“When I first met you, you were so different.” Merlin murmured. “So frightened and closed off. I wanted to see you happy so badly. I wanted to see you smile. I wanted to see a skip in your step. And now I get to see that every day and there’s nothing in the world I would rather experience.”

Artemis tilted his head and that and then lowered his gaze, smiling shyly.

“I don’t need anything in life to make me happy besides you.” Merlin said, meaning every word. “Just you, by my side. That’s all I need.”

Artemis got in closer and kissed Merlin passionately, opening his mouth and letting their tongues collide. He gripped Merlin’s shoulders, pressing tightly to him, deepening the kiss.

Merlin slid his hand down Artemis’ back, over Artemis’ backside, kneading his soft flesh.

Artemis gasped and ground his hips against Merlin’s, their cocks brushing against one another. Merlin moaned at the feeling.

Artemis’ body was burning hot pressed up against him, despite the cold of the water. He relaxed his grip on Merlin’s shoulders, sliding his hands down until they rested on his waist.

Merlin gave one final, searing kiss, then buried his face into Artemis’ neck. “Let’s go home. I want to finish this properly.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin spooned Artemis from behind, holding Artemis’ left leg up to his chest, thrusting upwards, the sound of their breathing mingling together and the dirty, wet sound of Merlin thrusting into Artemis were the only sounds in the air.

Merlin burrows his nose into Artemis’ hair, inhaling deeply. He places a kiss there, and then another, never more satisfied than in moments like these.

He can’t think of a single thing to say; usually he’s babbling on and on about how amazing Artemis is and how good it all feels, but he can’t manage a single word. He can’t possibly utter a single word or sentence that would capture how perfectly he and Artemis fit together, how beautiful Artemis is when he bares his neck to be sucked and kissed, how in love Merlin is with him…

So he stays silent, watches Artemis’ chest heave, sees his hand drift towards his cock, and starts rhythmically pumping his length.

Merlin lifts his head up a bit more to watch this gorgeous sight, feeling his own orgasm building. He sees Artemis’ toes curl as Merlin hits that one spot inside of him, and Merlin aims to hit it again, making Artemis’ mouth open in a silent cry.

Merlin finishes inside of his lover, releasing his grip on his leg. Artemis’ leg slowly drifts downward as he quickly and desperately pumps and comes with a gasp, falling limp after, relaxing against Merlin.

Merlin pulls out, missing the warmth at once. Artemis rolls onto his back, and examines his own seed clinging to his fingers.

Merlin boldly takes his hand and sucks the seed off of his fingers, and Artemis nips his bottom lip at the sight, sucking in a breath.

Merlin lets go once Artemis’ hand is clean, and strokes Artemis’ mouth with his thumb. “You are too perfect for words.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis sits at the table the next day, trying to calm his nerves, thinking of what to write in his journal to Merlin about being willing to take Merlin.

Is he actually scared to do it or is he just scared that he’ll be bad at it? Artemis has been wondering that since Merlin first asked him to take him.

Artemis was quite the fan of sex the way they had been having it. Merlin was incredibly blessed with a good endowment and the skill to wield it fantastically. Artemis never thought he would enjoy sex, but Merlin proved him wrong.

_ Am I a good size _ ? Artemis fought the urge to peek into his trousers at his own limp cock. Merlin certainly thought he was good enough sized to request to be on the receiving end.

_ But what if I’m terrible at it and I disappoint him _ ? Artemis chewed his bottom lip. He was used to lying there and taking it with minimal effort while Merlin did most of the hard work. He would ‘lay there and look pretty’ as Merlin put it. Unless he was pushing back into Merlin, he mostly just laid back and enjoyed it.

Artemis was still chewing his nails when Merlin came in from outside. Artemis offered up a smile.

Merlin grabbed a drink of water from the pitcher. “Fish are just teeming in one part of the stream. You want to go fishing?”

Artemis nodded, shutting the journal. That would be a good distraction from his thoughts until he was ready to talk to Merlin about it.

******************************************************************************

Artemis was wasting ink writing out what he wanted to say to Merlin.

The first few sentences he wrote, he wasted time talking about how nervous he was and how he was scared he’d disappoint Merlin.

That sounded too unsure of himself, so the next attempts he skipped that part and tried to be flirty about it.

That seemed to bold and oversold the little confidence he had, so he wrote that he was willing to do whatever it took to make Merlin satisfied in their love life.

Then that sounded like Artemis didn’t actually want to do it at all and simply felt obligated to, so he scratched that out and now he was stuck.

He got up and peeked out the window at Merlin, who was practicing his magic in the clearing in front of the cabin.

Artemis raised his eyebrows as Merlin summoned a flame and made it go up his arm, covering it entirely in fire.

It definitely looked neat, but Artemis fretted about the logic of covering one’s entire limb in magical fire.

Then Merlin extinguished it when it seemed he got bored, sitting back on the ground and flipping through his spellbook again.

It amazed Artemis how quickly he became accustomed to feats of magic when he used to shiver at the very idea of a sorcerer. He trusted Merlin implicitly now, often watching in utter fascination as Merlin controlled the very elements around them, making water and fire take multiple different shapes, summoning a gust of wind and making it pick up leaves in a furious swirl and then disperse them.

Artemis found a certain thrill in having Merlin cast his magic against his skin so he could feel it’s presence that he would never otherwise be able to feel. It made his skin prickle and tingle as Merlin willed his magic to dance along his palm, making flowers and butterflies form there as Artemis watched.

Never in his life did he think he would ever go near a sorcerer, and now he was in love with one and sharing a bed with him. Life was funny sometimes.

Artemis went back to his journal and tried to think of how he wanted to tell Merlin he was willing to take him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ Artemis has been writing an awful lot in that journal,  _ Merlin thought as he tried to look for another spell to try.

Merlin figured Artemis had a lot on his mind and was giving him some space, not really asking what was going on. If Artemis wanted him to know, he would tell him.

Merlin found a spell that looked interesting and made a quick run to the stream to grab some stones. He stacked the stones in a pyramid shape and held out his hand, reading from the spellbook.

**“Ic ábíetee þæt stánhol.”** Merlin said. Nothing happened to the stack of stones.

“Hm.” Merlin tried again, in a slightly louder voice. Some of the stones quivered but kept their place.

Merlin took a deep breath, summoning a commanding tone. “ **Ic ábíetee þæt stánhol!”**

Merlin felt and saw a magical force rush forth, making the grass bend down as it rushed over it. The stones were pushed forward and scattered in every direction. Merlin smiled to himself until he realized the magical force he summoned didn’t stop at the stones, but extended forth towards the trees. He didn’t quite realize the full size of the gust he had summoned, and he winced as he heard the trees in the path of the magical gust groan and creak and he held his breath, praying he didn’t knock one over, roots and all.

The leaves rustled and some blew away, and he even heard and saw a few branches snap and go flying, but the trees remained standing.

Merlin exhaled a sigh of relief. The spellbook should have had better details about the velocity and strength of that spell.

He heard an awkward shuffle behind him and turned to look at Artemis.

“Hey, love.” He smiled at Artemis. “Guess you saw all that?” Artemis nodded, eyebrows raised. “At least I aimed it away from the cabin, eh?”

Artemis quirked his eyebrows again and handed him the journal.

Merlin stood up to read it.

‘ _ Merlin, a wile back you sed you wanted me to ‘take’ you. I did not giv you an anser then but here is my anser now. I want to try it.’ _

Merlin had to read it several times. He, of course, remembered saying that to Artemis. He had also really been thinking about it quite a lot since that evening he slipped up and mentioned it to Artemis. He didn’t realize that Artemis had taken it to heart like that.

He enjoyed sex with Artemis every time, but he kind of missed being on the receiving end… Back when he was a servant in the castle and would meet up with certain men, they balked at the idea of a servant taking them. And Merlin was flexible either way, though it would bother him a bit that they pulled rank on him like that…

Merlin looked Artemis over, trying to gauge his emotions. Artemis was clearly nervous and he was twiddling his fingers together like he was anxious.

“This something you really want to try?” Merlin made sure.

Artemis nodded.

“Then let’s try it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘ _ Gods, I’m so much shorter than him…’ _ Artemis thought, trying to lean over Merlin as he kissed him. They were both sitting on the mattress, but the height difference was still apparent.

Normally, once the romantic evening activities had begun, Artemis would crawl into Merlin’s lap and Merlin would hold him for a while, the only sound in the air being their mingled breath and the soft sound of their lips meeting over and over again.

But with Artemis taking the lead role, he thought it wouldn’t really be right to get in Merlin’s lap like usual.

Artemis rose up on his knees, trying to get the height advantage. Merlin tilted his head back to not interrupt their kiss, fingers playing with the band of Artemis’ breeches.

Artemis quickly touched the front of his own breeches. He wasn’t…  _ quite  _ as hard as he wanted to be, probably due to the nerves.

Artemis broke the kiss and went to kiss and suck on Merlin’s neck and throat. He slid his hands under Merlin’s shirt, trying to remember all the things Merlin would do to him before the main event to get him relaxed.

“I’ve already prepared myself for you,” he heard Merlin murmur, and Artemis’ eyes widened briefly in surprise. “I did it less than an hour ago, while you were finishing up in the garden.”

Artemis nodded his understanding, though he still planned on testing the waters a bit before going right in. He would never forgive himself for accidentally causing Merlin pain his first time taking him.

Merlin stripped his shirt off and laid back, seemingly wanted the evening’s activities to progress a bit faster. Artemis swallowed down his rising panic and took his shirt off as well, tossing it to the side.

Merlin was stretched out before him, head angled slightly and smiling up at him. Artemis thought he looked positively ethereal and beautiful and he wished he could tell him that.

Artemis went to unlace his own trousers, pausing when he realized he still wasn’t properly hard. Did he really want Merlin to see him like that and think he didn’t actually want this? It was just nerves, but Artemis felt embarrassed. It had never been difficult to get aroused with Merlin before. His body reacted to Merlin’s touches and words eagerly and with great need.

He abandoned the idea of stripping down completely, deciding that seeing Merlin undressed was likely to do the trick.

He got rid of Merlin’s trousers, and his body flushed with desire at seeing Merlin in his entirety, laid out before him. He would never tire of that pale expanse of blemishless skin. Artemis ran his fingers down Merlin’s thighs, seeing his cock twitch with interest.

“I want you so badly, Artemis.” Merlin said. “I’m ready for you.”

Artemis’ breath caught as Merlin took his hand and slid a finger into his warm mouth. Artemis’ mouth fell open as Merlin sucked and laved Artemis’ finger in his saliva, adding another quickly.

Artemis’ free hand shook as he grabbed the little vial of oil beside the mattress and he tried to uncork it with one hand.

His thumb worked at the stopper and the stopper came off with an audible  _ pop _ and Artemis’ grip failed and the vial tilted forward, out of his hand, the oil already starting to spill out before he could even attempt to stop the inevitable fall.

In a split-second, Merlin’s eyes flashed with that golden color and the vial froze still in mid-air and so did the oil before even touching the mattress. Artemis gasped and the oil retreated back into the vial. The vial corked itself and fell harmlessly to the bed.

Merlin slipped Artemis’ fingers out of his mouth. “That was a close one.” He joked.

Artemis huffed a small laugh, amazed at Merlin’s quick, magical reflexes. His lover never ceased to be full of surprises.

Merlin started tugging on Artemis’ trousers. “Come on, I want to taste you.” He implored, “Take these off, please.”

Artemis hesitated for a few seconds. Merlin’s brow furrowed in concern. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

Artemis twisted his mouth and reluctantly pulled his breeches down, letting Merlin see his situation.

Merlin looked at Artemis’ mostly limp cock and looked sympathetic. “You are very nervous, aren’t you?”

Artemis nodded.

“Are you scared of hurting me?”

Artemis shrugged. He was a bit, but that wasn’t all of it.

“Are you scared I won’t like it?”

That was hitting the nail on the head. Artemis nodded, clasping his hands and looking down at them.

“Artemis, look at me.”

Artemis complied.

“I  _ want  _ to do this. I know you’ll be good. You aren’t going to be bad at this. I promise you that. I know you. I know you want to please me as much as I want to please you and I  _ know  _ that means you’ll do your best to make this good for me. I trust you.” Merlin touched his leg. “Do you want me to walk you through it a bit?”

Artemis nodded quickly.  _ Gods, yes, that would help so much _ .

Merlin smiled at him. “Okay, love. Take them all the way off.”

Artemis obeyed, tossing them onto where his shirt had landed. He felt Merlin’s hands curl around the curve of his waist at once. “Now, love,” Merlin said, “Remember our first time?”

Artemis smiled a bit shyly and nodded.

Merlin returned the smile. “Remember how I walked you through it? I know the shoe is very much on the other foot for this, but I will make sure everything is perfect for the both of us.”

Artemis leaned down and kissed him. This man had endless patience and kindness towards Artemis. And Artemis tried to never take it for granted.

As Artemis entwined his tongue with Merlin’s, he felt Merlin grasp his cock and lightly stroke it. Artemis nipped Merlin’s tongue to show his enjoyment of his delicate touch, and he felt Merlin smile.

“There he is.” Merlin said quietly as Artemis was coaxed into full hardness. “There you go.”

Artemis felt excitement rather than anxiety bubble up inside of him as Merlin raised his legs.

Artemis grabbed the vial of oil with both hands this time, pulling the stopper out.

“Don’t drop it this time, pet.” Merlin teased him and Artemis rolled his eyes.

Artemis let some oil pool in his palm and oiled his cock up. The excess oil dripped onto the fabric of the mattress.

“That’s perfect.” Merlin said, looking at Artemis’ thoroughly oil-slicked erection. “Now, I  _ did  _ prepare myself, but it’s always a good idea to test it out a little with your fingers before going right in.”

Artemis nodded his understanding, and drizzled more oil onto two fingers, getting them soaked with it.

Merlin spread his legs wider. “Okay. Now.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Artemis carefully encircled the opening, Merlin’s mouth fell open. Gods, he’d forgotten how good that feels.

Artemis got a very determined look on his face before pushing in. The look would have made Merlin chuckle, but the slight burn of being stretched made forget to.

“Mm.” Merlin laid his head back as Artemis pushed in with his fingers as far as he could, wiggling them around. “I’ve missed this.”

He looked at Artemis again who was going back and forth between watching Merlin’s face and watching his fingers disappear into Merlin’s entrance.

“You’re doing amazingly, love.” Merlin praised him. This wasn’t too different from their usual sessions, in regards to how he was treating Artemis. Merlin knew Artemis was the sort to need praise and encouragement during intimacy and Merlin was glad to shower him in it.

Artemis separated his fingers and curled them and Merlin groaned louder than he intended. “Oh, you are a natural, love.” He said, shifting his hips side to side. “That’s so good.”

Artemis seemed to relax even more, enjoying himself. Merlin felt him tug on the rim, twist his fingers side to side, sliding all the way out and pushing all the way in…. Merlin was in ecstasy.

“Artemis, can you…? I need it, please.” The sensation was otherworldly, but Merlin craved the feeling of Artemis’ thick, hot cock inside of him.

Artemis nodded quickly, his face flushing. He wiped his fingers off, and grabbed the base of his cock, taking a deep breath and pressing the tip to Merlin’s entrance.

His expression was very much one of a man going to war, and Merlin had to look away to prevent himself from laughing. He felt the head push in and he bit his lip. Then another inch slid in and he gasped out Artemis’ name.

He felt Artemis freeze and he immediately reassured him he was fine. Then Artemis exhaled in relief and kept pushing in until he was buried to the root.

“It’s been so long.” Merlin groaned out. The feeling of a cock pulsing inside of him had been sorely missed.

He looked at Artemis to see how he was feeling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin had often sung praises of how tight and hot Artemis was, and Artemis always thought he was just being dirty.

But being inside of Merlin now? Gods, Merlin was spot on. It was indeed like warm silk wrapped around his cock. It felt infinitely better than a hand or mouth.

_ ‘I’m actually doing this _ ,’ Artemis thought as he pulled out and thrust back in. ‘ _ This is happening.’ _

Merlin pulls his knees closer to his chest and Artemis leans over him, hands on either side of his body, looking into those bright blue eyes.

He sees Merlin bounce up a little with each thrust and it’s so erotic to watch. He wonders if he looks like this while Merlin is plundering is body; eyes glazed over with pleasure, tiny gasps escaping his throat, a look of intense love and lust mixed onto his features… he thinks to himself that if he  _ does  _ look like this with Merlin, he doesn’t look  _ nearly _ as beautiful as Merlin does.

He sees Merlin wrap his hand around his own cock and lazily tug like he doesn’t care if/when he cums. He keeps watching Artemis, half-bitten off words of encouragement falling out of his mouth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All Merlin could do was watch Artemis and his quick, short little movements.

The last time he had been taken by a man, that particular man had been powerfully built and drove his cock into him over and over with great force, causing Merlin to cry out in some weird mix of pleasure and pain. It was too much and just enough at the same time.

This moment with Artemis was a stark contrast to that. His eyes flickered all over Merlin’s face, drinking him in, drawing out only a couple of inches before going back in. It felt great, and Merlin was thoroughly enjoying himself, but it wasn’t  _ quite  _ enough just yet.

“Pull out nearly all the way,” Merlin said, voice strained, “Then go back in fast, all the way in.”

Artemis listened, doing exactly what he asked. The sensation of the action made Merlin’s eyes roll back and he groaned. “Yes. That’s exactly it.” He tugged harder on his cock as Artemis repeated the action.

Merlin grabbed a pillow and quickly folded it under the small of his back. “You are so fantastic at this.” He told Artemis, meaning every word.

Artemis actually winked at him and Merlin laughed.

Merlin grabbed Artemis’ wrist, kissing it. He pressed another kiss to his palm, then just held it for a while.

He heard Artemis’ breathing change, and Artemis suddenly seemed to be concentrating, quickening his pace until-

“Ugh, gods, yes!” Merlin felt that wet heat he had longed for flood him, as Artemis gasped and his pace staggered and became more erratic. Then it was over and Artemis collapsed onto Merlin and Merlin wrapped him up in his arms. “You were perfect.” He kissed Artemis’ hair. “You were just lovely.”

Artemis fell to the side, his cock slipping out with an audible wet noise, and smiled lazily at him.

He questioningly touched Merlin’s stiff cock and Merlin kissed his forehead. “I’ll take care of it in a moment. Just… I just want to lie here and hold you.”

Artemis squeezed his hand and a comfortable, happy silence settled over them both.

******************************************************************************

“Robin, if you decide to get drunk tonight, I am  _ not  _ picking you up off the floor.” Simon grumbled.

Robin rolled his eyes. “It’s one glass with dinner, Simon.”

“Still. My warning stands.” Simon picked up a piece of smoked chicken and set it on his plate. “Want to come to the forge with me tomorrow?”

“Sure.” Robin agreed readily. He was tired of doing a bunch of cleaning. A day watching Simon play with liquid metal, fire and swing a hammer would be very much appreciated.

Robin picked at his chicken. “What makes me strange?” He asked on a whim.

Simon swallowed his bite before answering. “What do you mean?”

“I know you say things like, ‘You are something else’, and ‘you’re so odd’. But what makes me that way?” Robin queried.

Simon poured himself some water while thinking. “Well, as I’ve said before, I am only joking when I say that-”

“But what prompts the joke?” Robin had to know. “Like, what sorts of things do I say or do that makes you say it?”

“Well, the first time I thought you were strange was when I caught you eating my horse’s food in the stable the night I met you.” Simon smirked.

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“Nope. But, if we’re being serious, I just think sometimes you are a bit awkward.”

“Awkward?”

“Yes. See, you behave awkwardly when you are around people you don’t know very well. And it makes you seem peculiar. So, when I first met you and we were getting used to each other, you often acted self-conscious and said odd things on a whim.”

“Am I still odd?”

“Sometimes. Not as often. Around new people you are. It’s the way you stand, the way you blurt out strange comments…” Simon shrugged. “I got used to it. It’s not bad, really. You’re just an awkward person.”

There was a comfortable silence as Robin considered that until Simon said, “Except around Carinna.”

“What?”

“You were never awkward around her. While we were out in the fields, and you were coming back with my water, you saw her and just had this  _ look  _ in your eyes. Like a challenge.” Simon smiled fondly at the memory. “It was kind of funny, but very uncomfortable in the moment, the way you walked up and just wasted no pleasantries, letting her know with your attitude and demeanor that she was very unwelcome. It is one of the things I like about you. Your attitude. The occasional sass.”

“I sass people?” Robin asked in disbelief. “I’ve never noticed.”

“Oh I notice. So do other people. Around certain people, you have a very strong personality. Like when you were playing cards with my mates at the tavern that last time we were there, and you had so many jabs and quips you came out with so quickly. I was impressed and highly entertained.”

“I was only picking up what they were putting out. Also I was very drunk by the end of it all.”

“Granted, but still.” Simon pointed at Robin’s plate with his fork. “You going to eat?”

“I will, I’m just thinking.”

“Eat and think at the same time. It’s a necessary skill.”

Robin snorted. “Talk about sass.” He said.

Simon gave a quick, smug smile. “You are not the only one with an attitude in this house. I want us to finish at the same time so I can get things cleaned up and go to bed early tonight. I’m exhausted.”

“I like it when we finish at the same time.” Robin tried to keep a straight face after he said that. It took Simon a minute to pick up on the double meaning. When he got it, he rolled his eyes.

“Clever. Now eat.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they were in bed, Simon blew out the candles and laid beside Robin. “There’s nothing wrong with you having an attitude.” He said suddenly.

Robin looked at him. “What?”

“You mentioned before how you think there is something wrong with you. And I wanted to make sure you knew that I like your attitude. I like your clever comebacks and quips.”

“I know.”

“And I also don’t think there is anything wrong with you whatsoever.” Simon added. “Don’t know why you think there is.”

Robin pulled the covers up under his chin. “It’s just a feeling I get. I’ll figure it out.”

“Hard to figure out a fault that isn’t there.” Simon said.

Robin sighed. “Night, Simon.”

“Night.”

******************************************************************************

Robin watched Simon pull on the thick gloves hanging up by the furnace. He watched Simon grab some tongs and grab a little thing that had some liquid metal in it and poured it into a small cast.

“What’s that you’re making?” Robin asked.

“Yet another replacement key for Daniel’s shop. He’s lost the third replacement I made him last time already.”

“He’s lost  _ three  _ keys?” Robin repeated.

“Four, if you count the original.”

“Bad luck.”

“Indeed.” Simon set down the equipment and pulled off the gloves.

Robin picked up the scissors on the table beside him and opened and shut them a few times.

“Testing to see if they work okay?” Simon teased.

Robin set them down. “I thought a lot last night.”

“And?”

“I know what my fault is. I know what’s wrong with me.”

“Go on.” Simon leaned against the wall, looking at him with great interest.

Robin inhaled through his nose. “I am loyal.” Simon raised his eyebrows, looking amused. “I am loyal to a fault, I mean.” Robin clarified.

“Explain.”

Robin felt his chest cinch with anxiety and his ears seemed to suddenly roar. “I- I would do anything… for approval. For love. To feel needed.”

Simon shrugged. “A lot of people would.”

Robin shoved down his frustration. “No, you’re not getting it. I mean… I would do  _ anything  _ for someone’s approval.”

Simon crossed his arms, staring at Robin for some time. “Explain more.” He said.

“I don’t know how else to explain it.” Robin held his hands out in front of him. “That’s just all it is. I would do anything. I would… let others do anything to me.”

Almost subconsciously, Simon’s gaze briefly dropped to where Robin’s scars would be on his legs. “You mean like letting that man carve things into you?” He asked, his voice quiet with no hint of emotion.

Robin felt his heart jump when he heard those words and color rose to his face. “Yes.”

“You said once that you thought he loved you and it would solidify your relationship.” Simon remembered.

“.... Yes.” Robin’ voice was barely above a whisper.

“Do you still think you would do something like that?”

“Probably.” Robin muttered.

“With him?”

Robin looked at Simon, shocked he would even suggest that. “Gods, no!”

“With me?”

Robin blinked at him, his mind suddenly blank. “Uh.”

Simon waited for him to reply.

Robin scuffed the toe of his boot on the floor, looking down.

“If I whipped out a blade right now,” Simon said, “And told you I wanted to slice into you, would you let me?”

Robin didn’t know how to reply. He couldn’t imagine Simon suggesting anything like that. It went against his entire nature.

Simon kept his arms crossed, staring hard at Robin. “Do you think, at this stage, with how much you’ve grown as a person, that you would blindly let me harm you in order to ensure that I was serious about you?”

Robin considered this. “I don’t know… I can’t even fathom you  _ wanting  _ to do that.”

“Robin, when I first met you, you were a shyest, quietest person I’d ever met.” Simon unfolded his arms and stepped closer. “You were practically terrified of me. You told me that you thought I would treat you like that one man did. You said you were scared to make me mad. I worked hard to build your trust. And when you trusted me, your real self came out. You were sarcastic to me. You teased me. You opened up to me. You’ve changed  _ so much _ from that man I found in the pouring rain that night.” Simon stood in front of him, and Robin’s heart pounded at the close proximity. He looked into Simon’s dark eyes as Simon spoke to him.

“You are strong, you stand up for yourself, you are  **not** that person that that man broke down and abused.” Simon cupped his face and Robin sucked in air. “You need to stop telling yourself that you would  **_ever_ ** go back to being that person that you were. Because you are so much different than him now. You are so much  _ better _ .”

Robin didn’t ask for permission. He more or less smashed his lips against Simon’s, and Simon let him.

Robin jumped up and sat on the table, resuming the kissing. Simon got between his legs and pushed his growing arousal up against Robin’s, making them both groan.

Simon rutted twice, and Robin felt the table shift under him. Simon immediately pulled back. “Forge isn’t the best place for this,” he joked, lips reddened from the kissing. “Keep this sort of energy for when we get home, okay?”

“Are you even going to be able to keep working with this ‘sort of energy’?” Robin angled his head and smiled flirtatiously.

Simon looked back at the furnace, then at the mold with the new key hardening in it. “The key won’t be ready for a while…. And I have a bit of time to spare on my orders… and I could always put out the furnace quickly…”

Robin smiled and kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you at home in a bit then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin felt Simon spoon him from behind, kissing the nape of his neck, and along his damp hairline.

Robin was still buzzing from their lovemaking not five minutes ago, smiling contentedly to himself.

“We can’t make a habit of doing this in the middle of the day.” Simon said. “I have a job, you know.”

Robin sniffed a laugh. “You agreed to it, remember?”

“Hm.” Simon nuzzled the back of his neck. “You tempted me.”

“I regret nothing.” Robin said.

“Hm.” Simon said again. “I hope the idea that you are anything like how you were before we met is out of your head.”

Robin pressed the side of his face deeper into the pillow. “I want to think I am different now… I don’t know if I’ll ever know for sure…”

“I think that back then, you were eager for love and acceptance. I remember you telling me that you had never had someone look twice at you... a fact that still baffles me, by the way…”

Robin smiled a bit. “It’s true, though.”

“Anyway, I think we all have times in our lives that we are vulnerable to others. Wanting to be needed, or loved, or just generally accepted. And we would do anything to get that. You aren’t a bad person for wanting love and acceptance. And I believe that you are more self-assured than you were then.”

“I want to think you’re right.”

“Just tell yourself, whenever those thoughts pop into your head, whenever you think you’re no different than you used to be, that you are better now. Because you are.” Simon rolled Robin onto his back and kissed him. “I should get back to work now. I still have orders to deliver.”

“I’ll stay here.” Robin said. “I want some time to myself.”

Simon nodded his understanding and got out of bed, putting his clothes back on. As he sat on the bed to pull his boots on, he looked back at Robin. “Remember what I said. Keep those dark thoughts away. I’ll see you tonight. Might be late.”

As Simon walked to the door, he took one final look at Robin, still naked under the covers, raised up, hair mussed, looking at him. Simon smiled. “I’ll have that image of you like this in my head all day now, I bet.”

Robin blushed and Simon went out the door.

Robin curled up under the blankets again, sighing deeply to himself. “I am different now.” He whispered. “I am better.”

******************************************************************************

Artemis walked into the book shop with the few coins Merlin had given him in his pocket. He smiled at the shop owner and immediately started browsing.

The shopkeeper approached him from behind and tapped him on the shoulder, making Artemis jump. He looked quizzically at the shopkeeper, who had a very serious look on his face.

“I heard about the rumors of you and that one other man practicing magic.” He said.

_ ‘It was just Merlin,’  _ Artemis thought. How did they expect a mute person to cast a spell?

“There was talk of a spellbook discovered at your home. And apparently Merlin told Eileen it was a hand-me-down from years ago.” The shopkeeper narrowed his eyes. “But I remember selling you a spellbook quite some time ago.”

Artemis gulped. The shopkeeper was going to spill the beans about Artemis being the one to give him that book and then people would know Merlin was actually practicing magic.

“As I said when I sold you the book, magic is looked upon with great distrust. And you should have hidden it better.”

Artemis nodded frantically, wondering what the shopkeeper was going to do.

“I won’t tell anyone that you bought the book from me.” Artemis let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Personally, I think the whole thing was blown out of proportion and people shouldn’t have cared as much as they did. But be more careful in the future. If you are caught a second time with any magical paraphernalia, I don’t think the townspeople will be quite as forgiving, or as willing to let it go.”

Artemis nodded his agreement. The shopkeeper gave him a kind smile. “I’ll let you keep browsing. I just wanted to make sure you knew I wasn’t about to rat you out.”

Artemis smiled at him gratefully and the shopkeeper turned and went back to dusting the book covers by the counter.

Artemis took a minute to calm himself down after that nerve-wracking conversation before crouching down and looking at the bottom shelf.

He heard the door creak open and the shopkeeper greeted whoever had just come in. Artemis didn’t bother to look, spotting a book about birds and pulling it out.

He opened up the book and flipped through the amazing sketches and skimming the information about each bird that was drawn on every page.

The book was thin, but Artemis thought that not only would it be a nice, easy read, he could also practice his sketches, using these drawings as a guide.

He tucked the book under his arm and went to the counter. The shopkeeper didn’t notice him, as he was busy talking to the man that was looking at the books in the far right corner of the shop. The man was turned away from Artemis, perusing the wall of books.

Artemis sighed and waited, setting the book on the counter.

“You going to stay the night in town?” The shopkeeper asked the man.

“No,” the man said, “I’m on my way as soon as I buy some food and maybe a book here.”

Artemis wrinkled his brow. He had heard that voice somewhere before….

“What kind of book do you want?”

“Hm… Do you have any books involving battles, or that sort of thing?”

“Yeah, quite a few.” The shopkeeper finally looked at Artemis. “Give me just a moment, and I’ll be right there.”

Artemis nodded, staring at the back of the man who still hadn’t turned around. He was incredibly tall, well over Merlin’s height, if he were to compare them. Dark brown hair, cut fairly short, thicker set… Artemis twisted his mouth to one side. He seemed kind of familiar… Was he from Camelot? Was that where he had seen him?

“Where are you from?” The shopkeeper asked the man, asking the question Artemis had just been wondering.

“Oh, way up north.” The man grabbed the book the shopkeeper handed him. “Tiny little village.”

“In Caerleon?”

“Yeah.”

“Must be freezing in winter.”

“Pretty much all year round, actually. Pretty chilly this time of year, too.”

North… where Artemis was from. The man turned a bit, and Artemis got a good look at his side profile.

Artemis’ heart stopped. He realized instantly where he knew this man from.

The man was talking, presumably about the book, judging by his gestures, but Artemis’ ears were buzzing so loud he couldn’t hear a thing.

Artemis backed up when the man turned and looked at him dead on. A glimmer of confusion, and then recognition flashed in the man’s eyes and he grinned at Artemis. “Oh, hello, you.” He said, his tone friendly, but with that derisive undertone that Artemis remembered all too well.

Artemis stared at those rotten teeth, that awful grin, eyes flickering down to the dirt on the man’s hands, the grime under his fingernails… Immediately he is flooded with all those horrific memories that he spent years trying to block out and replace with the good memories of his times with Merlin.

He remembers exactly what it was like getting picked up by this exact man standing before him and being dragged off to a second, more private spot, with a whispered warning in his ear not to draw attention to himself or it would be worse for him.

He remembers this man twisting his hand after Artemis physically lashed out at him and snapping one of his fingers. He remembers this man spitting on him and striking him if he thought Artemis was being ‘too difficult’. He remembers this man pinning Artemis’ hands behind him and holding him tight so the other two could have a turn, his foul breath wafting over Artemis as he spoke mocking words into Artemis’ ear.

Artemis still can’t remember this man’s name, and he was glad for at least that. He had spent so long forgetting the names and faces of those men, and now, one of them stood before him, daring to be entertained by Artemis’ horror at seeing him again.

The man took one step closer. “And how have you been, pet?” He said, as if speaking to a dog.

The next thing Artemis knew, he was running. He ran past people, houses, past the fields, into the woods, everything around him a blur.

He didn’t stop running until he was home. He vaguely saw Merlin by the garden as he ran past him, into the cabin, the door slamming shut behind him. He collapsed in his bed, curled up into a ball, wheezing for air, trembling, every muscle in his body quaking.

He didn’t even hear Merlin come in, only felt the bed sag a little as he sat next to where Artemis was curled up.

He felt Merlin rub his back in soothing circles. “Hey, what happened?” Merlin asked, full of concern. “Did something happen to you?”

Artemis couldn’t even uncurl. His body wouldn’t let him. As long as he just stayed curled up in a tight little ball, nothing could hurt him.

“Artemis, please look at me.” Merlin pleaded. “Did someone say or do something to you in town?”

Artemis heard a sharp wheezing sound and realized it was him. He trembled like a leaf in the wind, face-down into the pillow.

“Artemis, please. Did someone hurt you?” Merlin’s voice, still full of concern, became slightly more stern, trying for an answer.

He felt Merlin very gently push from his side and he rolled over onto his side helplessly, arms tightly wrapped around his legs. He managed to look at Merlin’s face.

Merlin seemed at a loss, looking all over Artemis’ body, trying to figure out what was wrong.

“I want to help you. But you have to let me. Did somebody harm you?” Merlin asked.

Artemis shook his head.

“Did somebody say something to you? Threaten you, or something?”

Artemis didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Do you want me to get your journal and pen so you can tell me?”

Artemis shook his head. His entire body still shook. He wouldn’t be able to write a single, legible word at this point.

“I can leave you alone, if you’d like….” It was abundantly clear from his tone that Merlin did not want to leave Artemis alone like this. And Artemis didn’t want to be alone right now.

He grabbed Merlin’s wrist with trembling fingers, pulling him close.

Merlin crawled onto the mattress behind him, holding his body as best he could. Artemis closed his eyes and Merlin ran his palm in firm, soothing strokes up and down his arm. “I’m here for you. Whatever it is, whenever you want to tell me, I am right here.”

Artemis didn’t respond, but he felt like the vice-grip on his lungs lessened slightly. His every breath was sharp and shaky, but he tried his best to think of Merlin, pressed up close to him, trying his best to soothe Artemis, though he was completely in the dark as to what had happened.

He ran… he had ran all the way from town to home, to Merlin. But he couldn’t tell if the pain in his chest and lungs was just from running all that way, or from being face-to-face with one of his abusers from years ago.

Gods, that face… He had tried so hard to forget it. He never thought he would see any of them ever again… And yet, some awful string of fate made Artemis have to look at him again, relive all those awful times in one terrible flashback. He could  _ taste  _ the dirt on those fingers just by looking at them. He could smell the stomach-churning breath the second that man had grinned at him cruelly.

That man  _ recognized  _ him, too. And he took glee in the sight of him,  _ knowing  _ the terrible things he had put him through, remembering all the things he had done to Artemis, the trauma he had left him with... And he had  **_smiled_ ** .

Artemis burst into tears, sucking in sharp, painful breaths. How could someone like that be allowed to live a normal life, and walk free, having done what he did to Artemis? Fate was cruel for allowing Artemis to be born without a voice, to lose his father, then his mother, and be abused for years with no way to escape it, and have to try to heal from the damage for years… And yet that man who helped cause all that damage roamed the lands without a single care in the world.

It wasn’t fair. Artemis’ life was simply unfair.

“There, there.” Merlin whispered in his ear. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”

Artemis opened his eyes gradually, seeing Merlin’s hand slide down his arm, taking his hand…

Artemis blinked. Merlin’s hand… he must have been working in the garden, and some rational part of Artemis’ brain knew this, but all he could see was the dirt coating his lover’s hand, the mud under the fingernails…

“I’ve got you, pet.” He heard Merlin whisper as his dirt-covered hand enclosed around Artemis’.

Artemis opened his mouth in a silent scream, wrenching his hand away from Merlin’s grip. He elbowed Merlin in the ribs, hearing a soft ‘oof’, and Artemis rolled away, sitting up, staring wild-eyed at Merlin.

Merlin looked entirely taken aback. “Artemis, what is going on?” He reached out for Artemis and Artemis swung wildly at him, his mind racing. In the back of his mind, in some still-rational part of his mind, he knows this is Merlin.  _ His  _ Merlin. Merlin would never do anything to him.  **Ever** .

But the rest of him is half-crazed with panic, the thoughts of being forced by those men are in full strength, and he just keeps thinking, ‘ _ It can’t happen again. I won’t let it _ .’

And he swings and kicks at Merlin as Merlin tries to keep Artemis from hitting him, blocking the hits, pleading with him to calm down.

Artemis slips off the mattress and as Merlin goes to lean over him, Artemis kicks out his leg with everything he’s got, and he hears Merlin make a sound like the wind got knocked out of him.

Artemis scrambles backwards as Merlin regains his composure. And he looks at Artemis.

Artemis whips around, trying to push himself off the ground and he hears Merlin shout something. It’s no word he’s ever heard before, and he realizes it’s a spell before darkness falls over him and he collapses to the ground, unconscious.

******************************************************************************

“There have been reports of some sort of creature attacking some of the towns to the west.” Arthur lied to his father as a servant layered his dinner plate with various meats.

King Uther waited as another servant filled his cup with wine. “And what do they say this creature is?”

“It is suspected to be a creature of magic.” Arthur said, slicing into some of the meat.  "It is said to have the body of a lion, the wings of an eagle and the... face of a... bear." He finished awkwardly.

“If it is indeed a creature of magic, then we must destroy it.” The king said, matter-of-factly.

Arthur nodded. He knew his father would never pass up an opportunity to hunt down something magical.

Arthur hid a smile behind his own cup of wine. Technically, he actually  _ was  _ seeking out a magical creature with the intent to destroy it.

“I know I don’t often say it, Arthur,” King Uther began, “But I want you to know I am proud of you.”

Arthur picked up a tomato slice between his fingers and paused. “What do you mean, Father?” He popped the tomato in his mouth.

“Your…. Erratic behavior months ago…” The kind almost seemed reluctant to bring it up again. “I was worried about you. We all were. But you seem to have made a full recovery. I was… worried. Very worried for a long time that perhaps-” Uther halted wherever he was going with that. “- But you are alright again. You are back to do everything you were before the, er…. Incident.”

Arthur picked up a chicken leg. “I know my duties and what is expected of me, Father. I am still not sure what came over me in that time-”

“Gaius at one point suggested it was stress.”

“Perhaps.” Arthur conceded. “But it will never happen again.”

“I blame myself, just a bit…” King Uther murmured this confession. “You may have needed some time for yourself and I denied to let you go hunting because of the diplomatic meeting…”

Arthur was surprised to hear him admit fault like that. He almost felt guilty for lying about his reason for going west.

Almost.

“You can’t blame yourself, Father. We may never know the cause.”

“True.” Uther took a drink of wine. “But it probably didn’t help.”

Some silence passed between them until King Uther said, “When do you leave to hunt this creature down?”

“I only need a couple of days to prepare. Then I can be on my way.”

“Perfect. I look forward to this creature’s capture.”

“As do I.”


	35. Chapter 35

Merlin stood over Artemis as he lay on the floor of their cabin.

He hadn’t exactly  _ intended  _ for the spell to come out, it just happened when he saw Artemis lash out and look like he was about to make a break for it. Next thing Merlin knew, he was shouting the words, and Artemis fell back against the ground, completely unconscious.

It was just a little sleeping spell, but obviously Merlin had never had the chance to try it before. He wasn’t sure how long it was supposed to last….

Merlin picked him up and placed him on the mattress. He was a little afraid that he might have caused Artemis to hurt himself, falling down like that. But when Merlin swiftly looked over his head for any bumps, there was nothing.

What had gotten into Artemis? What had caused him to suddenly behave like some crazed, possessed person? Had someone threatened him? Tried to go after him? Did he see something in the woods that spooked him?

Merlin very delicately rolled down Artemis’ sleeves, looking for any marks. Seeing nothing, he lifted up his shirt, looking all over his skin for any scrapes or anything that looked like he had been struggling. Nothing.

Merlin sat back and sighed. All he had seen was Artemis dashing past him like he was on fire, running into the cabin and just curling up like a scared animal on the bed. What could have caused such a reaction?

Merlin felt his hands itch and he noticed they were still dirty from messing around in the garden. He had been planting squash seeds in a small section of their garden. It was the best time to plant them, and he had gotten the seeds from someone a while back. He figured today was as good a day as any to plant them.

Merlin got up reluctantly to go rinse off his hands, not wanting to leave Artemis alone for too long. He walked briskly to the stream, washing his hands off, then walked quickly back, drying off his hands while looking at Artemis, still lying still on their bed.

Merlin went over to him again, petting his hair back. “Oh, Artemis.” He said, surprising himself at how melancholy he sounded. “What happened?”

He lay down beside Artemis, uncertain of what would happen when his lover awoke again.

******************************************************************************

Even though he knew Simon would probably tease him for it, Robin put some flowers in the small vase anyway, arranging them nicely.

He heard Simon open the door and he turned to look at him. “Simon, I made bean soup and some flour cakes I thought you might like to try-”

Simon went over to him while he was speaking, cutting off his sentence by sweeping him into an embrace and kissing him firmly.

Robin felt dizzy after he was put back down, and it wasn’t from being lifted and swung suddenly. “Wow, what was that for?”

Simon cupped Robin’s face and looked at him. “I’ve just been thinking about you since I left this afternoon. Couldn’t stop picturing how you looked while you were in bed.” Simon looked at him fondly. “You looked positively sinful.”

Robin felt his face flush, embarrassed at Simon’s compliment. “Glad to know I made a lasting impression.”

Simon was silent for a minute, just looking at Robin like he was thinking hard about something. Then he straightened up, walking past Robin to the tables. “Looks lovely. Is that salted pork in the soup?”

“Yeah.”

“Fantastic. Can you pour me some water?”

“Water? No wine?” Robin teased, grabbing the pitcher.

“No, no wine tonight. I want to have a clear head.”

“For?”

“Just… I have a lot to think about.”

“Ah. Like what?” Robin filled his cup with water.

Simon sat down, picking up his spoon. “Just some things I have to think about.”

“Hm.” Robin got himself some water and sat down across from Simon. “I’ve been thinking a lot, too. About what you said. About me being different now.”

Simon regarded him silently, like he was waiting for Robin to keep going.

The more Robin thought about it, the more he realized how much he had changed.

He remembered those nights back with the prince, how he had suffered through what the prince wanted from him, telling himself he enjoyed it. And some part of him did, at first… At least until the prince had decided to disregard Robin’s own feelings and do whatever he wanted.

Robin couldn’t see himself doing the same thing now. If he and Simon ever split (gods forbid), and he met someone similar to the prince, he would never just stick it out if he were being treated poorly, desperate to be needed and loved. He knew what a good relationship looked like now. He knew that he didn’t need to put up with someone who physically hurt him and had zero regards for his feelings.

The prince never loved him. The slightest bit of real affection was mostly a sham, something the prince could use to manipulate him. Something to take away if Robin displeased him.

Robin had enjoyed the pain, he wouldn’t deny it. Even now, he sometimes craved it. But he now knew it wasn’t something he required to enjoy intimacy with another person. He was shocked the first time he reached his peak with Simon with no pain attached; just pure lust and desire. Robin truly hadn’t known before then that he didn’t need the pain.

And Simon was furthermore correct that Robin wasn’t wrong to enjoy a bit of pain with his lovemaking. He was just a different sort, as Simon might say.

Simon liked him just the way he was. Odd, to be sure, with some quirky behaviors and habits, but otherwise a perfectly ordinary person. Simon was happy with him just the way he was. Robin could be happy with himself too.

Robin lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth, smiling at Simon. “I feel like you just understand me. You understood me before I even understood myself.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin hadn’t meant to doze off, but he awoke to the sun setting and an empty bed.

He sat up in a panic, about to call out Artemis’ name, when he spotted Artemis sitting at the table with his journal, a single candle lit.

Artemis had his hands crossed in his lap, and was staring at the candle dripping wax onto the metal of the candleholder.

Merlin stood up. “Artemis, you alright?”

Artemis turned his head slowly to look at him and nodded, then went back to staring at the candle.

Merlin crouched beside him and touched his clasped hands softly. “You okay?”

Artemis lowered his head, looking at Merlin’s hands touching his own. He blinked a few times, then gradually nodded.

“What happened?” Merlin asked. “Why were you acting like that earlier?”

Artemis looked ashamed, reaching out and touching where he had kicked Merlin earlier in his efforts to get away. He seemed to be offering a silent apology.

“It’s okay.” Merlin assured him, even though it ached terribly. Artemis was stronger than he appeared. “I’m sorry I used a spell on you. I sort of… panicked… I thought you were going to run off and… I’m sorry.”

Artemis nodded his understanding, taking Merlin’s hand and squeezing it.

“I hope I didn’t hurt you…”

Artemis shook his head.

“Did someone hurt you? Back at the town? Did someone say something to you? Threaten you? Did you see something in the woods-”

Artemis slid his open journal to Merlin, silently urging him to read it.

Merlin took the journal and sat at the table, sliding the candle closer to himself and reading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had only read through maybe a few sentences before stopping. “You saw him? He was in town? That man who… did those things to you when you were a child?” Merlin said. Artemis could hear the fury in his voice. Artemis nodded.

“He didn’t touch you, did he?” Merlin’s fingers clutched the journal so tightly his knuckles turned white.

Artemis shook his head quickly. He would never have allowed that man to get that close.

“Is he still in town? Is he still there, do you think? Staying with someone?”

Artemis took in the absolute malice and rage in Merlin’s eyes, the same look he had had right before striking down those slave traders. He knew for a fact, if that man were indeed staying in town, Merlin would not hesitate to seek him out and enact justice for what he had done to Artemis years previously.

And unlike with the slave traders, Artemis would not hold it against him for a second.

But unfortunately, the man had said he was not staying, and was probably long gone, headed off to the next town, wherever that may be. Artemis wrote that down.

Merlin looked almost let down to read that. “He deserves to perish for what he put you through when you were a child.” He said quietly. “For all the things he did… Why do men like him go free when their victims are forced to pick up the pieces and try to move on?”

Artemis had been thinking the same thing. It simply was not fair or just that that man and probably the others were living a decent life, not even thinking about what Artemis had to go through to live a half-normal life, the emotional and mental damage they had caused… And that man had the  _ gall  _ to see Artemis, the victim of his depravity and perversion, for the first time in years… and he had  **_smiled_ ** . He had been amused just like he had been years ago at Artemis’ pain.

“I sometimes wonder about the man who forced me into doing things with him when I was younger...” Merlin confessed. Artemis looked at him with pity. He sometimes forgot Merlin had been through something similar, though not quite the same. Merlin seemed so normal… well-adjusted… It made Artemis ashamed to admit it, but he often completely forgot what Merlin had been through.

“I wonder if he regrets it…” Merlin said, musingly. “I doubt it. He didn’t seem the type…”

Merlin focussed on Artemis. “You were right to run. I am sorry you had to see him again, to face that.”

Artemis closed his eyes and lowered his head.

He still can’t remember the names of those men, which he was thankful for. The faces were a blur, except for the man he had just seen. If he thought hard enough, he could sort of remember all the faces.

The encounter brought up so many of those memories he buried. The specific instances, the details of the events they put him through. He had forced them to become a blur, to run together. He had forced himself to shove the memories away as they tried to reemerge. The more he did it, the better he got at it.

But having to see one of the men again… it brought everything back, vividly. Artemis was fighting to stop remembering, stop remembering their words, their touches, their taunts, the pain and misery they inflicted on him-

“Hey.”

Artemis looked at Merlin.

“That’s why you fought me? You were thinking of them?”

Artemis looked at Merlin’s now-clean hands. He would be too embarrassed to admit that seeing dirt and grime on people’s hands and under their nails triggered some of the trauma regularly, although he had gotten good at hiding it. With everything coming to the surface at seeing his old abuser, he hadn’t been able to handle seeing dirt on Merlin’s hands. He felt silly now…

Artemis simply nodded.

“I remember how you were when we first met.” Merlin said in a soft tone. “I could barely touch you in any sort of way. You shoved away any human affection.”

_ I  _ wanted _ to be touched… but I was scared. _

“And earlier, after you got home, it was like that all over again.” Merlin scooted his chair closer and touched Artemis’ face gently. “You were so frightened. I can’t imagine being face to face again with someone who had done that to me. I can understand why you acted the way you did.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin held Artemis’ hands to his mouth, kissing each knuckle. Artemis stared at his journal, like he was barely comprehending Merlin’s attempts at affection.

Artemis removed his hands from Merlin’s grasp, taking up the pen and writing something quickly in his journal. He pushed the journal towards Merlin, his eyes never leaving Merlin’s face as Merlin read.

_ ‘You are strong with your magic. Plees heal me. Help me speek.’ _

******************************************************************************

Robin emptied the chamberpot far away from their home. The first few times he’d ever dumped it out, he’d done it right near the back of the house and Simon had been none too happy to find out about it. Ever since then, Robin had been taking it to the edge of the woods to pour it out.

The instant he was done pouring it out, he heard a terrible crack of thunder and he had about two seconds where he assumed it was just heat lightning before the rain started pouring down.

“Great,” Robin said out loud, jogging slightly back to the house. “Perfect timing for a storm.”

He was drenched by the time he got home, and Simon looked at him with great amusement as he shook himself off like a dog.

“Got a bit wet, did you?”

“Funny.” Robin shivered, scooting the chamberpot back under the bed. “Food put away?”

“Just putting the flour cakes away now. They were lovely, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Robin slipped his shoes off, jumping at another deafening crack of thunder, followed by a blinding strike of lightning.

Simon looked amusedly at him. “Get warm in front of the fireplace. Hang your clothes up.”

“I know.” Robin got close to the fire, peeling off his shirt and grabbing a towel, drying off his hair. He was somewhat aware of Simon putting on his night clothes and laying on top of the covers, arms behind his head, casually viewing Robin.

Robin made more of a show pulling off his trousers, hanging them up to dry. He stood in front of the fire, holding his hands out, getting warm, completely bare and fully aware of Simon's eyes on him.

Robin watches the fire for as long as he can, trying to pretend he doesn’t notice Simon watching him. He risks a look back eventually, smirking when he sees Simon has his cock out, lazily tugging at it.

Simon motions him closer. “Come. Foot of the bed.”

Robin obeys, arms behind himself, standing obediently before Simon.

“Spin, slowly, arms out slightly.” Simon orders, rubbing his thumb in circles just at the ridge of his erection.

Robin does so, feeling a bit silly. He makes one complete turn, returning to his original position.

Simon goes still in his strokes, silently appraising Robin. “I should have your portrait done. Just you, like this.”

Robin had to laugh. “If people don’t already have their suspicions, you having a big, naked portrait of your ‘housekeeper’ on display in your home is sure to get them thinking.”

“No, it would be small. I’d keep it in a locked drawer.” Simon sounds almost serious. “And when we are old and gray, we can have something pretty to look at together.”

Robin was about to say something, then he fully realized what Simon had just implied. “When  _ we’re  _ old and gray?” He repeated. “You and I? Together?”

Simon clears his throat like he’s embarrassed. “Well… I… Come to bed.”

Robin did as he was told, climbing in bed. “Do you see us being together for that long?” He asked, pressing up next to Simon.

Simon looked at him. “Do you?”

Robin blinked. “I guess I never really thought about it too hard…”

“Could you live here, with me, indefinitely? You’re happy?” Simon says, his voice so soft Robin wouldn’t be able to hear him if he wasn’t right next to him.

“I am happy. With you. Here.” Robin can’t form a proper sentence. Simon wanted him for years to come? Robin hadn’t assumed he was just a fling, but he also hadn’t assumed Simon was  _ this  _ serious about him. He was planning on Robin being in his life for the next several years?

More thunder sounded and Robin jumped and Simon chuckled at him. “You going to jump every time?”

“No.” Robin grumbled. “It’s just very loud and there’s very little warning.”

“It’s good for the crops.”

“I know.” Robin burrowed under the covers. “Join me?”

Simon lifted the blankets and joined him, angling himself to be face to face. “I don’t believe I’ve ever been this content in a relationship before. Just you and me, just being together. Living together. It feels right.”

“You’re being awfully honest, Simon.” Robin teased, thought his heart warmed at hearing about Simon’s contentment with him.

“I figure we’ve been together over half a year. About time I was completely open about my feelings towards you.”

Over half a year? Robin frowned, thinking. Was that right? He arrived in the Autumn… Housed with Simon for the winter… got involved with him romantically sometime mid-winter…

“Huh.” Robin said aloud. “It really has been over half a year. Time flies.”

“Indeed.” Simon placed his hand on Robin’s arm. “Life has been better with you.”

Robin smiled shyly and Simon gave him a kiss. More thunder sounded and this time Robin didn’t flinch.

“Getting braver.” Simon jested quietly, and Robin gave his shin a light kick.

Robin pushed back against Simon’s shoulder and climbed on top of him. Simon went to grasp Robin’s backside with both hands and Robin reached between their bodies to give Simon’s growing arousal a small tug.

“What’s this?” Robin teased. “You like me on top?”

“You know I do.” Simon confirmed.

Robin reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the oil, uncorking it and Simon held out his fingers to Robin so he could pour some oil onto them.

Robin felt Simon reach back and lightly pet his entrance, prodding at it until he could get a finger in. Robin sighed with contentment. “Feels good.” He muttered, opening his mouth and running his tongue along Simon’s throat.

Simon made a small sound of enjoyment, taking his sweet time prepping Robin, fingers tugging and curling. Robin shivered with pleasure, nipping Simon’s ear and pushing against his fingers. “More please.” He requested before kissing Simon again.

Simon worked in another finger and Robin groaned at the familiar feeling. Simon twisted his hand side to side as best he could manage and Robin rewarded him with a moan as he arched his back.

“Simon.” Robin drew out his name, kissing along his lover’s jawline. “That’s so good.”

Simon moved his fingers in and out, using his free hand to cup the side of Robin’s face, petting his cheek.

“Now, now. Please.” Robin said breathlessly, and Simon understood, removing his fingers and slicking up his erection as Robin waited impatiently. When Simon grasped his hips, Robin grabbed his lover’s cock and positioned it properly, sliding down onto it, holding his breath at the initial breach, sighing deeply as it went all the way in without a hitch.

Simon held onto Robin’s hips, stroking them with his thumbs while Robin experimentally bounced and moved forward and back, trying to get into a rhythm.

Robin leaned forward, hands on either side of Simon’s head, and stretched out comfortably, knees on either side of Simon as well, and lowered himself onto Simon’s cock, tightening up as he slid back up the length, feeling immense satisfaction at Simon’s sounds of enjoyment.

Robin angled his hips differently, working them back and forth, trying to find that one spot that made him see stars.

He bit his lip in concentration as he slid up all the way until the tip of Simon’s cock was barely in him, then slid down slowly, angling so it would brush more towards his front.

After a couple of minutes of searching, Robin felt a jolt of pleasure and he gasped. “There.” He said, and Simon chuckled at him.

Robin kept up the angle and pace, his own arousal starting to leak and twitch. Simon kept looking back and forth from it to Robin’s face.

“You are beautiful.” Simon breathed out.

Robin smiled a bit at that. “I’m a man.” He pointed out, voice strained. “Men aren’t usually called that.”

“I don’t care. That’s how you look right now. Beautiful.” Simon stroked Robin’s flat stomach, making him twitch.

Robin smiled again at the compliment, not saying anything. He sped up, getting out of breath, looking down at Simon, who was watching him with lust in his eyes, touching Robin’s arms, his waist, everywhere he could reach.

“Simon.” Robin trembled as he felt himself get closer.

“Go on, love.” Simon encouraged, wrapping his calloused hand around Robin’s aching, leaking cock and stroking it.

Robin’s pace staggered out as his pleasure built and then he came in thick ropes all over Simon’s stomach and chest.

“There you go, love.” Simon praised him. He ran his finger through the seed, tasting it while watching Robin.

Robin sat still for a minute, catching his breath, still fully impaled by Simon’s cock, which was twitching with great impatience inside of him.

“Was that a lot for you?” Simon lightly teased, watching Robin’s chest heave.

“It was quite the workout.” Robin admitted.

Simon chuckled, affectionately tweaking his chin. “Maybe I should do some of the work.”

Simon encouraged him to lie on his chest, and Robin did so, feeling his seed smear between them.

Simon rolled them both until Robin was now on his back, and Simon pushed himself in fully again, making Robin gasp.

Simon started with a slow, torturous pace. Robin was sensitive after his climax, and he whimpered out a small protest.

Simon curled his fingers into Robin’s hair, pulling slightly. “You feel so good.”

“You too.” Robin strained out, and Simon chuckled again.

Robin’s left hand curled at the nape of Simon’s neck, his right hand on the middle of Simon’s back, feeling the muscles move and twist under the skin as he thrust inside of Robin, still keeping a slow pace, like he wanted to enjoy every second of it.

Robin lifted his chin to bare his throat and Simon nipped at the skin, briefly sucking just enough, but not so much that he left any marks.

Robin shut his eyes as there was another strike of lightning, followed quickly by thunder. He listened to the rain on the roof as Simon strode into him, deep and thick enough to cause a delightful burning stretch.

Robin had peaked too recently to even fathom being able to again, even with everything Simon is doing to him, but despite being soft, he is perfectly tranquil, feeling no need to touch himself, just to lie back and simply let Simon do whatever he wills.

A sharp knock at the door makes them jump and they freeze. Robin panics for the briefest moment, looking to make sure their curtains were closed. They were.

Another pounding at the door, and Simon is pulling out, wiping his cock and hands off, pulling on some clothes. Robin winces after Simon pulls out too quickly, and Simon whispers a quick apology.

Yet another knock and Simon irritably shouts, “Hang on. Getting dressed.”

Simon jerks his head towards the corner, near the door, indicating that Robin should go over there to be out of sight when the door opens.

Robin grabs a blanket for some semblance of modesty and heads over to the corner, out of the line of vision of whoever is at the door when Simon finally opens it.

A man’s voice that Robin didn’t recognize told Simon that he was needed at once down at the tavern.

“What’s going on?” Simon asked.

“You just have to see for yourself, but we need someone like you right away.”

Simon glanced at Robin quickly, then went out the door.

Robin peeked through the curtains, just a bit, and saw Simon walking away with one of the older villagers. Robin still couldn’t think of his name.

Simon looked back, seeing Robin at the window, flashing a quick apologetic look before looking forward again, hurriedly following the man.

Robin sighed angrily, disappointed. He felt cheated almost, as their fantastic lovemaking session was cut too short. He imagined Simon was none too happy either, probably even more pissed than Robin, considering all things.

Robin climbed back into bed, not bothering with clothes, and curled up in Simon’s spot, waiting for him to come back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin awoke to someone sitting on the bed next to him. He sleepily opened his eyes and reached out one hand, patting around.

“Simon?” He asked, voice groggy.

“Who else?” Simon was pulling off his boots and rain-drenched clothes. He grabbed a towel and started drying himself off.

“What did they want with you?” Robin propped himself up on one elbow, observing him.

“Fight. At the tavern. Had to help break it up.”

“Had to?” Robin sounded grumpier than he intended.

Simon gave him a look. “I wasn’t too happy about being dragged out of bed either, but someone was bound to get badly hurt if I and a couple of others hadn’t stopped the brawl.”

“Were you injured at all?”

“No, they were too busy going after one another to throw a punch at anyone else.”

“So… what happened exactly? Who was the fight between?” Robin asked, interest piqued.

“Gabriel, Gilbert, and Tanner. Nasty fight. Plates thrown, cups chucked, tables overturned, chairs slung… It’s a miracle no one was seriously injured.”

“Goodness.”

“Goodness, indeed. They were spitting mad, sometimes all three going after one another, sometimes two ganging up on one…. By the time I got there to break them up, Gilbert was barely standing.”

“What caused the fight?”

Simon smirked a little, amused at the answer before he even spoke it. “A woman.”

“A woman?”

“They were all seeing the same woman. And they found out that fact tonight.”

Robin gave a sharp, disbelieving laugh. “All three men? Seeing one woman? How did she keep them from finding out? How was there no overlap?”

“No clue.”

“Who is it? Which woman?”

“Claudia.” Simon replied, sliding in bed beside Robin.

Robin blinked. “Um. The woman who runs that chicken farm?”

“That’s the one.”

“Isn’t she married?”

Simon laughed a small, mischievous laugh. “Indeed.”

“So…. she is with her husband… and seeing three men on the side, none of which knew about each other, and keeping all of it from her husband…. While simultaneously running the largest chicken coop in town?”

“You’ve got it.”

Robin gave a low whistle. “It’s scummy, but I have to admit I’m very impressed at how she managed to pull it off.”

Simon motioned to Robin to lay his head on his chest and Robin did so, inhaling the scent of cold rain on his skin. “I was also kind of amazed after I had time to process it all.”

“How did the three men find out?”

“They were playing cards, and Tanner got drunk and decided to brag that he and Claudia were having an affair. The other two at the table who were also having the affair got pissed, to say the least, and turned on one another after they compared notes.”

“Where are they now?”

“Two of them are in the cells. Separate cells, obviously. Tanner is more or less under house arrest, with two people keeping guard. Just for everyone’s safety.”

“Wonder what Claudia will do tomorrow.” Robin wondered.

“Who knows. Her husband will probably be done with her after it’s all come out. So will the other three, if they are smart. All sorts of reputations ruined in one evening.”

Robin pulled the blanket up higher. “You seeing anyone on the side?” He teased.

Simon snorted. “No.” He said dryly.

“Has it ever been tempting?” Robin had to know.

Simon gave him a weird look. “Tempting? No… Not particularly. I’ve never been one to have a wandering eye in a relationship. I also have no need or desire to stray. You make me feel complete. No need to go after anyone else.”

Robin smiled at that.

“Were you worried?” Simon asked.

Robin shrugged. “Not really. I just like knowing that I please you in all things.”

“You do.” Simon lifted up the covers and lifted up Robin’s soft cock with a finger. “Speaking of pleasing me… I believe we were interrupted in the middle of something important.” He gently pinched the furl of foreskin, tugging it lightly.

Robin followed the motion with his eyes. “You really want to go again? In the middle of the night? What about your work in the morning?”

Simon grabbed the oil again. “One of the perks of working for myself. I can choose when to go in. I’m also thinking of  _ not  _ firing up the forge and just doing some deliveries tomorrow afternoon. People will understand. I  _ did _ get dragged out of bed in the middle of the night to break up a brawl, after all.” He gave Robin a look. “Do you want to go again?”

“Suppose you  _ did  _ get cut off before you could finish…” Robin mused in a light tone. He pretended to think about it, then sighed dramatically. “If you must.” He said, rolling onto his back and made a show of holding up his legs, displaying himself.

Simon laughed at his ridiculousness. “You did mention pleasing me in all things.” He reminded him, coating two fingers in the oil and working them inside of Robin.

Robin was still loose and ready, so Simon wasted no more time working himself into full hardness, and pushing in.

Robin groaned at being filled up nearly at once, and kissed Simon soundly.

Simon was between Robin’s legs, grabbing Robin’s hands, intertwining their fingers together, taking his time, keeping a tantalizingly slow pace.

“Being with you,” Simon kissed Robin’s neck, “best part of my day.”

Robin tilted his chin up as Simon sucked and licked at his throat, his stubble causing a delicious amount of burning friction.

“Yes. Gods, that’s it!” Robin cried as Simon hit that wonderful spot. “Right there!”

Simon sped up, lightly biting Robin’s shoulder. “Think you can cum again, love?” He asked, slamming in roughly and making Robin gasp.

“Maybe.” Robin swallowed roughly. “I might.”

Simon made an approving noise, kissing his neck. He shifted, getting a better angle and traction, going faster.

“Simon, gods…” Simon was hitting that spot dead on every time and Robin wasn’t sure he could hold out much longer. He let go of Simon’s hand, sliding his newly freed hand between their bodies to bring himself off.

Simon seemed impatient, probably eager to reach his climax since he was rudely cut off a couple hours ago. He showed no signs of slowing down, breathlessly leaving hurried kisses all over Robin’s face and neck until he pressed his mouth harshly and passionately to Robin’s, and Robin felt that familiar spasm and that liquid warmth fill him.

Robin followed soon after, spurting his seed between them. He collapsed against the pillows.

“Stay. Please.” He begged Simon, before his lover could pull out. “Just… for a bit.”

Simon didn’t tease him, didn’t even look at him funny. Just stayed still, his weight and heat soothing to Robin.

Robin could feel the final twitches inside of him, and he closed his eyes, savoring the fullness of his lover inside of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin looked at Simon’s sleeping face, and he resisted reaching out and touching it, lest he wake him.

Simon had fallen asleep nearly an hour ago, after pulling out despite Robin’s protests and cleaning themselves both off. He more or less passed out as soon as he got back under the covers.

Robin couldn’t sleep. He watched Simon’s chest lift up and down, watching his lips part with every breath, watched his face twitch every so often, clearly dreaming.

Robin scooted in closer. “Simon.” He said quietly.

Simon didn’t stir.

“Simon, I-” Robin held his breath. “I think…” Robin wet his lips. “Simon, I love you.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin couldn’t sleep. Artemis was sleeping perfectly, half on top of him, smiling softly in his sleep.

Merlin stared up at the ceiling, recalling what happened earlier.

Reading that request, seeing the faint hope in Artemis’ eyes behind all the sadness as he asked Merlin to heal his muteness.

Merlin had a million reasons why he should have said he couldn’t. The biggest reason being that he was pretty certain he actually couldn’t heal it. It wasn’t an injury. It was a…. Defect, essentially. Something Artemis was born with. He didn’t know if he had the magical prowess to fix something like that. There was certainly nothing in his spellbook about fixing muteness.

Despite the multiple excuses running through his head, Merlin found himself looking into Artemis’ deep, hopeful, dark brown eyes and saying, “Of course. I will find a way. I promise.”

After he said it, he could almost hear Gaius shouting at him to stop making promises he wasn’t sure he could keep.

But seeing Artemis’ beautiful eyes light up, and seeing that bright grin spread across his face, Merlin couldn’t help but smile back, and swear to himself silently that he would find  **_some way_ ** to make good on his promise.

To hear Artemis speak… to be able to hear that wonderful voice he’d heard back at those caves last year all the time… He needed to make sure he held up his word.

******************************************************************************

The next day, Artemis sat cross-legged, facing the cabin, trying to accurately draw it.

He frowned, wishing he had some coal or something. That would be better. He’d bring it up to Merlin later.

Merlin. Artemis smiled again, remembering his lover’s promise.

He had such faith in Merlin’s magic. He knew Merlin would be able to figure out how to get his voice working.

Artemis touched his throat, trying to imagine what it would feel like to speak.

When he had his ear against Merlin’s chest, or his hand resting on his throat, he could feel the vibrations whenever Merlin spoke. Do people feel the vibrations in their throats every time they speak? Was it very strong? Did it ever tickle? Artemis pondered that. He would ask Merlin at some point.

Gods, to finally be able to speak….

It would be so much easier to get people’s attention, that was for sure. He could chime in on conversations, instead of just listening and wishing he could pipe up.

And he would feel safer. Being able to call for help if need be… 

Seeing that one man, whose face he’d already forced himself to forget, rekindled that need, that thought that Artemis was tired of being helpless when it came to people like that monster. Artemis, as a child, used to  _ wish  _ and  _ pray  _ to wake up with a voice so he could tell someone, anyone, what was happening to him.

And now, even though years had passed, it looked like he was going to have that prayer answered.

“Hey.”

Artemis jumped, looking behind himself to see Merlin. He grinned up at him.

Merlin had two books in his hand. He handed them both to Artemis.

“Here.” Merlin said. “One is a new journal. I saw that the one you have is almost full. So I grabbed another one while I was in town. And…. the other is the bird book you were looking at the other day.”

Artemis looked at him, puzzled. How did Merlin know….?

“I went to the book shop. The shop keeper asked about you. He was worried about you after you took off so suddenly. He told me you had wanted this book before you ran.”

Artemis flipped through the book happily. Now he even had new, clean pages to sketch these birds on. It was dark red instead of blue like his current one.

Merlin smiled a small, quick smile and walked past him, going toward the cabin.

Artemis got up, trotting after him.

Merlin looked behind himself at Artemis and held out his hand, and Artemis grabbed it, tucking his books and quill under one arm and being careful not to spill the ink he was carrying in that hand.

Once they were inside, Merlin let go of his hand and Artemis set the books down on the table.

Merlin took a deep breath and turned to face Artemis. “I should-”

Artemis, on a whim, kissed him. He even nipped at Merlin’s full bottom lip before pulling away, giving a sly smile.

Merlin seemed amused. “Artemis, what-”

Artemis slid his hands under Merlin's shirt, lowering himself down while lifting Merlin’s shirt up, kissing his soft, warm stomach, his ribs, his chest…

“Artemis…” Merlin leaned back against the table, stroking Artemis’ hair.

Artemis inhaled deeply. Merlin’s scent had barely changed from when they first met. Still woodsy, and faintly like herbs and nature. Artemis smiled against his warm skin.

Artemis plucked at Merlin’s breech laces, looking up at him, trying to look alluring. He would have started unlacing them himself, but he wanted to be sure Merlin wanted this.

Merlin started unlacing them, though he seemed uncertain.

Artemis kissed at his hands impatiently as Merlin undid the laces and parted his fly.

Artemis nuzzled the hard flesh there. He freed it swiftly and wasted no time running his tongue up the rigid flesh.

He opened his mouth, eager to take it inside, when Merlin stopped him.

“Wait.” He exhaled regretfully, starting to tuck himself away. Artemis was confused and disappointed.

“I should confess something.” Merlin looked away. 

Artemis sat back, waiting for him to speak.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin exhaled slowly before speaking quickly. “I want you to know that when I made you that promise, to heal you so you could speak… I’m not sure… At least, I don’t know a spell for it. It might be beyond me. If I had the magical ability and prowess to wave my hand and fix you, I would have done it a long time ago, believe me.”

He saw Artemis’ previously cheerful face droop, and his eyes became sad. Merlin felt like his heart was ripping in two.

He saw Artemis bite his lip and his eyes become wet like he might cry and Merlin thought he might weep at the sight.

He couldn’t take this hope away, could he? Surely Artemis’ condition wasn’t incurable? A more powerful sorcerer than he, surely, could fix him. Maybe Merlin wouldn’t be able to find a potion or a spell to fix it, but someone else might.

Merlin lowered himself down to Artemis’ level, looking at that sullen face seriously. “ **But** just because I might not be able to do it, doesn’t mean I’m not going to try my best to find someone who will be able to.”

Artemis got a glimmer of hope back in his eye, and he looked at Merlin queerly.

Merlin held his lover’s face between his hands. “I will not rest until I find a way to give you a voice, my beloved. If I have to travel far and wide, I will do it. You deserve the best life I can give you, and if this is something you need to feel complete, I will accomplish it for you.”

Artemis’ eyes welled up, this time with joy, and he embraced Merlin, squeezing him hard.

Merlin laughed, hugging him back.

He would find a way. No matter what, he would do this for Artemis.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

That had certainly been a flurry of emotions that Merlin had put him through in a matter of minutes, Artemis thought. His heart had been shattered when Merlin said he might not actually be able to heal Artemis, and then put back together when Merlin vowed to him that he would find a way.

_ Merlin is too good to me, _ Artemis tucked his face into Merlin’s neck and smiled.  _ I love him so much. _

Merlin broke the hug first and they both stood. Artemis kissed him quickly, then picked up his journal. He wrote down,  _ ‘May I?’ _ , and as Merlin read it, Artemis ran his hand across the front of Merlin’s breeches.

Merlin sniffed a laugh. “You still want to?”

Artemis lifted an eyebrow.  _ Well, of course I do. _

Merlin chuckled. “Alright, go ahead.” He permitted.

Artemis lowered himself again, wetting his lips. He pressed his face against the front of Merlin’s breeches, and Merlin played with Artemis’ hair, twisting the little strands as Artemis’ hot mouth worked his cock into full hardness.

Artemis freed Merlin’s arousal, kissing the tip, running the tip of his tongue under the head.

Merlin twitched, letting out a soft, “Oh…” As Artemis ran his mouth along the length, wetting it, laving it with kisses.

As Artemis enveloped Merlin’s cock in his mouth, revelling in the weight and taste of it in his mouth, Merlin made a sound of pleasure and his head leaned back, mouth open slightly.

The idea that Artemis could get this kind of reaction out of him was intoxicating. He sucked at just the head, and was rewarded by a soft moan.

Merlin. A powerful sorcerer, who could summon wind and fire and command all the elements and bend them to his will… was undone by Artemis’ talents.

The very thought made Artemis’ head spin. He was loved by a man who could (not that Artemis thought that he would, never in a hundred million years) kill Artemis with a single spell utterance and maybe a wave of his hand. And despite that power, with the exception of the sleeping spell, he had never used magic once against Artemis.

And this powerful sorcerer was currently struggling to form words because his cock was in Artemis’ mouth as Artemis worked his own kind of magic on it.

Artemis bobbed up and down, choking as he slipped Merlin’s cock into his throat briefly. He caught his breath, taking him in again, holding it there, feeling his throat burn and his oxygen get cut off for several seconds before sliding off, catching his breath, swallowing.

“Oh, my precious Artemis…” Merlin stroked Artemis’ temple. “Look at you.”

Artemis swallowed again before starting his ministrations once more, sucking needfully on Merlin’s iron-hard cock, tasting the saltiness, inhaling the musky scent and closing his eyes as he felt it twitch and throb in his eager mouth.

Artemis licked the tip, flicking his tongue against it, kissing down the length before swallowing him again, holding it for as long as he was able, then pulling off quickly, trying to hide his coughing.

Merlin’s cock was dripping with his spit, and he stroked it with one hand while he recovered, taking about half the length into his mouth, sucking on it contentedly while Merlin became more and more undone.

“Artemis.” Merlin grabbed his shoulders, hardly giving a warning before he was emptying into Artemis’ wanting mouth.

Artemis held off swallowing, holding his seed in his mouth, savoring the taste even when Merlin pulled out, wiping off his cock, panting.

Artemis stood, opening his mouth and showing Merling the contents.

Merlin laughed. “You gonna swallow it?”

Artemis closed his mouth and did so happily, licking his lips after.

Merlin kissed him. “Now let me return the favor.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur tried not to seem too impatient, waiting for his horse to be made ready. He mentally checked that everything in his bag was there. He had packed it secretly in his room, not wanting anyone to even have a hint at the contents. He had it secured to the horse as the servant boy making the horse ready double-checked his work.

Arthur checked his assembly of weapons: his crossbow, sword, and dagger. He had plenty of bolts and had his sword and dagger freshly sharpened yesterday.

He got onto the horse, flicking the reins, his horse walking slowly and steadily through the courtyard, out the gates, despite how much he wished he could bring the horse to a full gallop at once, full of impatience to get to Merlin as soon as possible.

He repeated Elias’ instructions in his head like a mantra.

Western town of Tunstead.

Follow the stream south from the town.

The cabin is within sight of the stream.

Can’t miss it.

Arthur ran through his plan in mind, seeing it all so clearly.

He smiled a little to himself as his horse began to go into the forest.

“Nobody escapes their destiny, Merlin. Not even you.”

******************************************************************************

“That’s not the North Star.”

“Yes it is.”

“Robin,  _ that’s  _ the North Star.”

“No it’s- oh… I suppose it is.”

Simon snorted. “Wouldn’t trust you to guide me through the woods at night. You’d have us end up in some godforsaken part of the country.”

“Not true.” Robin insisted. “I travelled here last year just fine, didn’t I?”

“Did you intend to come here?”

“.... No.”

“My point stands.”

They stood by the well, originally intending to get some water to freshen up, but ended up distracted by the constellations and bright stars. Which ended up in an argument about which star was which.

“Where were you trying to get to, anyway? When you left your old town?” Simon asked suddenly.

Robin shrugged. “No place, really. Just… away. Far away from where I came from.”

“Fresh start?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“What?”

“Do you feel like you got a fresh start?”

“I do.” Robin replied. “I feel better than I ever have in my life.”

“Good.”

Robin picked up a stone from the ground, turning it over in his hands. “Got a pretty nice lover out of the deal as well. Wasn’t expecting that.” He said in a low voice, in case someone was close.

Simon smirked knowingly at him. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Robin returned the look.

“You went from a scared, peculiar man to a confident, peculiar man.”

Robin rolled his eyes. “I get it. I’m odd.”

“You just have a high number of quirks.” Simon teased. “But yeah, I’d say judging from how you were when I first met you, you seem to be much better off.”

“Certainly feels like it.” Robin chucked the stone. “A lot of misery I wasn’t aware I was carrying around just… went away.”

Simon looked at him, like he was considering what Robin had just said. Then he went back to staring straight ahead at the row of houses.

Robin’s stomach flipped over when he remembered telling Simon he loved him a couple nights ago. Simon hadn’t mentioned it the next morning, meaning he must have truly been asleep.

Robin didn’t regret finally saying the words out loud. He knew, as much as he could know, that he loved Simon. He hadn’t wanted to be the first to say them, but Simon didn’t seem to be in a rush to tell him he loved him, if that’s how he felt.

Robin was nervous that Simon didn’t feel that way, at least not yet, and maybe he had been a fool to say the words aloud, despite whether or not Simon heard them.

At least he hadn’t been brave enough to say it while Simon was awake. He didn’t think he could stand it if Simon teased him about it. Or worse, he may even feel strangely that Robin had said it before he was ready to say it. What if it made things awkward between them?

In the back of his mind, Robin was always scared Simon didn’t feel as strongly as he did, as many times as Simon reassured him that he liked him. There was always the worry about getting discarded when someone else came along. Gods forbid, a woman. Robin didn’t think he could bear to be set aside for a woman…

Simon finally grabbed the bucket and lowered it into the well. They listened for the splash of water, then Simon drew the bucket back up, unhooking it from the rope. “Home?”

“Yes.” Robin offered to carry the bucket but Simon discouraged it silently.

Simon threw a friendly arm around him. “Why don’t we make an early day tomorrow, hm?” He whispered in Robin’s ear. “Before I have to go to the forge, before it gets too hot out… we’ll take my horse and go down to the lake and have some fun.”

“That sounds lovely, Simon.”

******************************************************************************

Robin dove under the water, swimming straight down until he could touch the bottom of the lake. He grabbed a fistful full of sand, clumping it up in his hand and then started swimming straight up to the surface again, lungs begging for air.

He sucked in a big gulp of air once he surfaced, paddling over to Simon, triumphantly holding up the fistful of sand to him. “I told you I can swim down and touch the bottom.” He bragged.

Simon actually looked impressed. “Huh. So you did.”

“Felt like my lungs were gonna collapse but I managed it.” Robin let the sand go, rinsing his hand off in the water.

“The lake is pretty deep, I didn't actually think you would be able to.” Simon admitted. “Guess I owe you a new pair of boots after all.”

Robin grinned. “Yes!” He celebrated.

Simon looked entertained by his outburst. “Truth be told, I was going to get them for you anyway, whether or not you won the bet.”

Robin scoffed. “Sure you would have.” He teased, splashing him with water.

Simon ignored the splash and looked around the area. “Bit cooler this morning than I expected.”

“Yeah.” Robin agreed.

“I know a spot.” Simon said suddenly. “Kind of out of the way of anyone passing by.”

“That’s nice.” Robin swayed his legs back and forth under the water, keeping himself afloat.

Simon gave him a look.

“Oh.” Robin realized what he meant and Simon smirked. “Oh, Robin.” He shook his head.

“Sorry. My mind was drifting to other things…”

“So.” Simon nudged him. “Interested? I grabbed the extra towels for a reason.”

Robin swam closer to him, til they were chest to cheat, almost touching. “You positive no one will see us?”

“Absolutely positive.” Simon vowed.

“Then show me the way.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin felt Simon press against him from behind, rutting against him, not so much wanton as teasing.

“Hi.” Simon kissed the back of his head, rolling his somewhat stiff cock against his backside.

“Hello, you.” Robin said amusedly. “I’m trying to spread out the blanket properly. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. But you should expect this when you bend over like that. It’s very nearly too much to resist.”

“Control yourself.” Robin scolded lightly. “Let me get this done.”

Simon smirked at him, lying out on the blanket the moment it was neatly laid out.

Robin straddled Simon practically the moment he laid down. “Hi.” He placed his hands on Simon’s firm chest.

Simon held onto his forearms. “Hello, you.” He said back.

Robin bent down, rubbing his nose against Simon’s.

Simon made a sound and turned his head away. “Feels weird.” He said.

Robin kissed his cheek. “I thought it might be a cute thing to do.”

“Since when do you like to act cute?” Simon rubbed his hands up and down Robin’s forearms.

“Every day.” Robin quipped.

“So,” Simon asked, “What do you think of my spot?”

“I like it.” Robin looked around. The area was well hidden by trees and boulders, and had a nice, flat area for them to lay their blanket down. “How did you know about it?”

Simon cleared his throat and reluctantly answered, “I’ve, um…. Used this spot before…. With, you know… another person…”

Robin tried not to seem jealous. “Ah, I see.”

The thought of Simon rolling around here with another man made a twinge of resentment he didn’t know he would feel form in his chest.

_ Simon has been with men before me. And that’s okay.  _ Robin took a deep breath and tried for an easygoing look on his face.

“I can understand if that makes you a bit…. Upset.” Simon said.

“No, of course not.” Robin lied. “You with other men? Doesn’t bother me. In the past.”

Simon raised an eyebrow. “What a terrible liar you are.” He said. “You have a right to a bit of jealousy.”

“Alright, who was better? Him or me?” Robin challenged, just to see if he would answer.

“You. No contest.” There was no pause at all before Simon answered.

Robin leaned back in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“How so?”

Simon almost turned red when he answered. “Well… for starters… he wouldn’t let me actually… finish in him…”

“Wait so…” Robin curled his upper in question. “He’d make you do what? Pull out?”

“Essentially.”

“Why?”

“He said he didn’t like how it felt.”

“He was nuts. That’s the best part.” Robin declared.

Simon laughed. “Glad you think so.”

“What else makes me better?” Robin sat back and waited.

“Your enthusiasm, for one. He certainly enjoyed himself, but he was pretty quiet. I like the way you talk. Sometimes those beautiful, blue eyes of yours just go wide and you gasp my name and it just…” Simon took Robin’s hand and held it. “It’s amazing to see and hear. And the way you babble and moan? Gods, it’s practically unholy.”

Robin bit his bottom lip as he tried and failed to suppress a smile. “I like hearing you say that.” He admitted in a small voice.

Simon laughed. “I bet you do.”

“So what sort of things did you do out here with him?” Robin asked boldly.

Simon shifted, looking ill at ease. “I don’t know if I want to answer that…”

“Kissing?”

“Obviously.”

“Sucking each other off?”

“Robin…” Simon said, disapproving.

“Did you wank each other off?”

“Ok, that’s enough. Put that mouth to better uses instead of prying into my sexual past.” Simon wrapped his hand around his cock and squeezed it, implying that Robin should set to work pleasing him with his mouth.

“Did you ever bring any women here?”

“No.”

“Just men?”

“Just the one man.”

“The one who ended up marrying someone and breaking it off with you?” Robin asked.

Simon looked to the left. “That’s the one.”

“Did he break your heart?” The question came out at once, before Robin could stop it.

Simon looked at him sharply, but he didn’t seem angry, just shocked. “I suppose… in a way. When someone is special to you and they end up with someone else, it does make one a bit sad for a while.”

Robin opened his mouth, about to ask if he loved that man. Then he shut it. He’d rather not know.

“And then someone else comes along,” Simon stroked Robin’s jaw. “And they make you forget about anyone else in the past.”

Robin felt his chest grow warm.  _ Do you love me? _ He wanted to ask. He kept his mouth tightly shut, afraid the question would come out against his will.

Simon brushed his calloused hand across Robin’s chest. “Are we to talk all day?” He said softly. “Or are we going to make the most of this time before I have to go to the forge today?”

Robin lowered down and kissed Simon, sucking briefly on his bottom lip before nipping it and letting go. He gave a suggestive smile, sliding down and taking Simon’s length into his mouth.

He tasted clean from the lake, the curls of hair surrounding his cock still slightly damp. Robin pressed his nose against it anyway, sucking at the rapidly hardening flesh in his mouth.

Robin let the saliva pool in his mouth, letting it get all over Simon’s cock, making it slick. He pulled off, and straddled Simon, grabbing their two cocks together. Then Robin thrust slightly back and forth, making his cock slide up and down Simon’s length, mouth hanging open at the surprisingly intense pleasure from the action.

“Oh, Robin.” Simon moaned. “That’s wonderful. Keep doing that.”

Robin had zero intention of stopping. He kept still and just stroked their cocks together at the same time, absolutely entranced by the unique feeling. He could feel Simon’s arousal pulsing in his hand, twitching whenever Robin would concentrate on gliding their tips together.

He saw a spurt of precome leave Simon’s cock, and he quickly swiped it and savored the taste.

Simon kept raising his head up to watch Robin work their cocks at the same time, or just hold them together and thrust his length along Simon’s.

Robin had always thought this might be an interesting experience, but now, actually doing it, it was better than he ever imagined. His cock pulsed in response to Simon’s, the heat between them grew, and Robin felt himself become almost too sensitive with every stroke.

Robin’s legs trembled as it became difficult to keep steady like this. He stilled in his thrusts, speeding up his strokes, staring at every detail of Simon’s gorgeous, thick cock as it pulsed and grew hotter in his hand. He stared at the flushed head, the thick, blue vein that made its appearance, the way it curved slightly towards Simon’s belly-

Robin inhaled sharply and came all over Simon, arm shaking. He felt Simon grab his hand that was still wrapped firmly around their erections and help him keep stroking until Simon reached his climax.

Robin kept straddling Simon, trying to catch his breath. Simon had one arm over his eyes as his chest rose up and down, like he was trying to steady himself after that incredible experience.

Robin rolled off to the side, taking Simon’s arm and putting it around himself, nuzzling Simon.

Simon finally spoke. “That was…. Gods, that was amazing.”

Robin smiled. “It was, wasn’t it?”

“You’ve done that before, haven’t you?”

“No of course not.” Robin said. “I told you before; I’ve barely done anything with anyone before you. Haven’t you done anything like that before now?”

“Not really.” Simon admitted. “Not like that.”

Robin beamed, feeling a sense of pride at giving Simon a new, fantastic sexual experience.

Simon looked at the mix of their seed on his stomach. “Suppose I should clean off-”

Robin raised up and swiped his tongue through the mess, feeling Simon jolt with shock as he did so.

Robin licked and sucked every drop he could see, swishing the flavor around in his mouth before swallowing. He simpered at Simon once he was through.

Simon looked taken aback, but in a good way. “Well then.” He said. “That’s one way of doing things.”

Once they were dressed, Simon swept up Robin in a strong embrace and kissed him. “Morning well spent, I’d say. What do you think?”

Robin nodded, looking into Simon’s sparkling eyes. Simon’s arms were still loosely embracing him. Robin pressed in a bit closer.

“You look like there’s something on your mind.” Simon put one hand under Robin’s chin. “Want to tell me what it is?”

“I-” Robin froze before he could continue.  _ I love you _ , he wanted to say.

It felt so right to say it. They were in the middle of a clearing surrounded by towering trees and flowering bushes. Every time the wind blew, Robin could smell the scent of the flowers and it made him take pause every time. It couldn’t have been a more perfect moment.

Simon was waiting, anticipating a response.

_ It’s not the right time… It may be too soon for him…  _ Robin thought sadly.

He forced a bright look. “No, I was just thinking. I’m fine.”

Simon seemed satisfied with that response and bent down to fold up the blanket. Robin gathered the towels.

_ When he is ready, he will say it _ . Robin told himself.

******************************************************************************

“I can’t exactly go into Tunstead and ask if anyone knows any good sorcerers in the area.” Merlin said. “People just recently started trusting me again.”

Artemis nodded, eating some bread.

“Maybe that other town? The one a few hours away? What was it called? Mirfield? Mirefield? Either way, I can check in there, see if someone knows anything.”

Artemis wrote in his journal,  _ ‘wood that not be daingerus? To ask arownd for a sorcerer?’ _

“People seek out magic cures for things all the time.” Merlin said confidently, trying not to worry Artemis. “And it’s legal in this kingdom to do so. I can say someone in my family is sick, and I need someone who can cure them. Maybe someone can recommend a good sorcerer to me. It’s as good a lead as any.”

Artemis seemed convinced, going back to eating his bread.

Merlin, on the other hand, may have oversold his confidence. He knew seeking out magic users was always going to be met with some sort of skepticism and mistrust. But he didn’t have much of a choice either. He made a vow to Artemis. He was going to see to it that Artemis gained a voice no matter what hoops Merlin had to jump through.

******************************************************************************

After a few days of journeying west, Arthur arrived in a spiffy looking town called Murkwelle sometime after dawn broke. The name was unappealing, but it looked civilized and well-settled.

As he rode his horse slowly through the town, he took note of the decent farms, the large fields that were growing an abundance of crops, and the content-looking people walking through the town.

_ Nice place _ , Arthur thought.  _ But is there an inn? _

He’d been riding pretty much constantly, only stopping to nod off for a few hours against a tree and to give his horse a break.

His horse looked like it couldn’t keep going for much longer without a good break, and Arthur felt the same way. He needed to be well-rested for when he found Merlin.

******************************************************************************

Robin felt Simon hug him from behind. “Morning.” Simon whispered.

“Barely.” Robin grumbled. “I wanna sleep for a bit longer.”

“Fair.” Simon kissed his hair. “You just looked irresistible like this.”

“Mm.” Robin felt Simon roll onto his back. He waited a while before deciding that he missed the warmth and rolled over to be closer to Simon.

Simon held him close. “Decided that you missed me?”

“Hush.” Robin closed his eyes. “Let me sleep.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robin awoke a second time to Simon climbing out of bed to get dressed. “Simon.” He whined. “Not just yet.”

“It’s mid-morning, love.” Simon informed him. “I need to get a move on if I want to keep on schedule.”

“Just a few minutes longer.” Robin begged, lifting up the blanket to invite him back under.

Simon looked like he was considering it, then he smiled and crawled back into bed. “Just a few minutes.”

Robin curled up against Simon, feeling victorious. 

“You are going to make me late, aren’t you?”

“Maybe. But it’s not my fault you fell back asleep for so long.”

“You’re so warm. You make me lazy.”

Robin smiled, kissing his chest. “Hm. Both things are true.”

Simon pet his hair for a bit. “I think maybe your new boots will be ready in the next few days.”

“Yay.” Robin said sleepily. “I look forward to some new boots.”

“I need to see about buying that blanket I saw hanging up in one of the shops.”

“I’d love a new blanket.” Robin said, eyes shut.

“I’m sure you would.” Simon laughed. “More of an excuse to lay in bed.”

Robin kicked at him. “I do all sorts of things all day.” He grouched. “You don’t appreciate me.”

“Oh, I do.” Simon kissed his head. “Just teasing. But speaking of work-”

Robin groaned.

“I’d like you to groom my horse and take care of laundry.”

“I am doing laundry tomorrow.”

“Today, actually.” Simon requested. “Quite a few of my good shirts are dirty.”

“Hm. Fine.” Robin opened his eyes and looked at Simon. “Anything else?”

Simon got out of bed. “No, that was my list. Laundry and horse grooming.”

“My two least favorites.” Robin sat up. “Wonderful.”

“I’m treating you too nicely.” Simon tweaked his nose. “I should be meaner so you don’t talk back.”

Robin snorted. “You couldn’t be mean to me if you tried.”

“We’ll see.” Simon warned playfully.

Simon got dressed and looking decent while Robin took his time getting out of bed.

Simon turned to see Robin tiredly pulling on a shirt. He seemed entertained by Robin’s slothfulness this morning.

“Alright, I’m headed out. Probably going to grab a quick bite at one of the stalls along the way.” He kissed Robin. “I’ll see you tonight, my love.”

“See you tonight.” Robin watched him leave, heart fluttering from the kiss.  _ I love you _ .

******************************************************************************

Arthur rolled out of a surprisingly adequate bed at the inn.

The inn was clean enough, not castle standards, but it looked good enough. The sheets didn’t smell, at least. And the innkeeper didn’t pry into his business. All in all, pretty nice.

Arthur looked out the window. He’d slept from dawn to late morning. He heavily considered spending the day just resting up and relaxing, getting his energy gathered for when he saw Merlin again.

Arthur opened up his satchel, looking through the contents, running through every scenario in his mind that might conceivably happen when he would see Merlin again finally.

Glass bottles clanked together when he reclosed the bag and slid it under the bed. It wouldn’t do for anyone to find it.

Arthur strapped his dagger to his side, sliding on his shoes. He might as well do some sightseeing and get some food in his stomach.

******************************************************************************

Robin gathered up Simon’s dirty clothes and put them in the basket. He grabbed the bar of soap, and set it on the top. Then he picked it up and walked down to the stream.

He had a favorite spot to do laundry. It was away from the usual spots, so it wasn’t likely that anyone was going to stumble upon him and make small talk while he scrubbed the stink and stains out of dirty clothes. When that used to happen, it could ruin Robin’s day. He wasn’t much of a people person.

He got to his spot and set to work, dunking a shirt under the water and getting it soaked. Then he laid it out onto a large rock and scrubbed out any stains with the soap. Then he bunched it together, getting the remaining soap lathered into the rest of the shirt. Then he’d dunk it under again, get it all rinsed out, and then lay it over a bush or branch while he started on the next.

It was boring and menial and he hated it.

******************************************************************************

Arthur munched on some dried fruit as he wandered aimlessly through town. He took a swig of water as he walked by what had to be the forge. He always liked the clanging sounds from blacksmiths doing their work. It was repetitive and somehow soothing.

But this one was oddly silent, and Arthur peered into the open doorway as he passed.

The blacksmith inside was admiring a bit of metal in his hands. It caught the sunlight and glimmered, but Arthur couldn’t be sure what it was. He thought it might be strange to step in and ask so he kept walking.

After a while, he noticed his waterskin was getting empty. He asked someone which direction the stream was and headed that way.

******************************************************************************

Robin had started whistling at some point, but he wasn’t sure when. It was an aimless tune, all over the place, but he was the only one around and he didn’t mind.

He got a stubborn stain out and set to work lathering the shirt. He dunked it under the water, swishing it side to side, watching the suds get carried away. The water was oddly cold and his hands were growing numb after repeat trips into the water.

He lifted the shirt out of the water, still whistling, and hung it up. He picked up the sixth and final shirt with great relief and stuck it in the water.

As he whistled and swirled the shirt under the water, he got a strange sort of shudder down his spine. He faltered in his whistling, then went right back to it, trying to shake off the feeling.

Then he heard an eerily familiar voice exclaim with great disbelief, “ **Robin** ?!”

Robin stood up and spun around quickly at the sound of that voice.

Someone stood before him, and he could scarcely make his brain comprehend who it was.

He took in the blonde hair, the blue eyes, the fine spun tunic, the way this person had their shoulders squared and stood tall despite looking like he’d received the biggest shock of his life.

“Prince Arthur.” Robin’s mouth went dry. He took a step back. Every instinct in him said to run, but his legs wouldn’t work.

Arthur looked like he’d seen a ghost, which he may be thinking was very well the case.

“Robin, what the hell are you doing here?” Arthur exclaimed, just as Robin said, “How did you find me?”

Arthur heard the question over his own and he rolled his eyes. “Well, obviously, I wasn’t looking for you. I thought you were long dead.” He narrowed his eyes. “How are you alive?”

“I escaped. From the dungeons.” Robin answered, wondering why he wasn’t running yet.

“By yourself.” Arthur sounded like he didn’t believe it. “Really.”

“Yes, really.”

There was a tense silence. Robin didn’t dare take his eyes off the prince for a second, feeling like his heart was going to burst.

Arthur flicked his eyes up and down, taking Robin in, like he still didn't quite believe he was real.

Robin could never have dreamed up this scenario in a thousand years. What was Arthur even doing here, deep into an enemy kingdom? By himself, it would seem…

Robin also couldn’t quite believe how normal Arthur looked. He realized with a jolt that whenever he had reimagined Arthur and what they did together, he made him look more…. Sinister in his mind. Standing here looking at him, the prince looked so ordinary and nonthreatening.

Arthur finally spoke, slowly. “Supposing I did regret leaving you in the dungeons, when I thought about what I had done…” He murmured. “Unfortunately there is no place for you in my current plans.”

“I had no intention of ever returning to you.” Robin practically spat at him. “After what you did to me-”

Arthur snorted. “You liked it, you slavering little whore.”

“-And what you did to Artemis. And then leaving me to die in the dungeons? How could you think I would fathom returning to you after all that?”

Arthur gave a cruel smirk. “You don’t really have to though, do you? You don’t have to serve directly under me for me to still own you.”

“You don’t  _ own me _ .” Robin bit back.

“Hm. And how did those scars I gave you heal? Did they heal well? Clear? Do they stand out?”

The scars in question seemed to burn at Arthur’s scathing questions. Robin opened and shut his mouth, unable to come up with a rebuttal. His face burned red with anger and mortification at Arthur bringing up the scars.

“But enough of that talk.” Arthur waved his hand like none of it was important. “As I said before, you are inconsequential to me now. I have so many things planned ahead in my life, and there is no room for you in it.”

“What plans?” Robin felt he had to ask.

“Merlin and I.” Arthur seemed to brighten up a little as he spoke. “I’m travelling to get Merlin. We have my destiny all planned out. Our fates are woven together so tightly, no one could unravel them no matter how hard they tried.”

“I don’t get what you mean…”

Arthur smiled like he was explaining it to a simpleton. “Merlin and I were always meant to be together. Artemis simply threw a wrench in the works, but I am headed to them now to fix that. Merlin must be brought to his senses, and taken back home with me. I suspect some fighting in the beginning, of course. Until he understands what our destiny means.”

Robin began to realize he was talking to a lunatic. That mad glint in Arthur’s eyes that he hadn’t noticed before, or maybe it had just appeared. They way he seemed to talk dreamily about Merlin, and thinking they were destined to be together, despite Merlin  _ literally  _ running away to get away from his madness and obsessive, cruel tendencies.

Robin swallowed. “Where did you even get this notion?”

“From Merlin, of course.” Arthur said, as if it were obvious. Then he backtracked. “Er, well… a version of him. He sent me visions, dreams, asking me to find him, showing me the way. Giving me ideas, making me promises about our future. It took me a minute to come round, and there were times I resented him for appearing, like he were mocking me. But then I understood that he wanted me to  _ help _ him.”

Robin shook his head, not even able to form a complete thought to combat how insane the prince sounded. “Why- But why would he leave? And then send you visions to find him?”

Arthur frowned at that, but he had an answer ready. “Weren’t you listening? It’s a  _ version _ of Merlin. Like…. The part of him that isn’t completely taken in by that mute boy. He reached out to me, begging me to find him, to bring him home, to bring him to his senses.”

“You think your old servant, Merlin, is sending you visions and asking you to find him, when the reason he left in the first place was because you relentlessly pursued and  _ raped _ his lover?” Robin said, dumbfounded.

Arthur seemed too far gone to see reason, but Robin still somehow hoped that hearing his plans spoken by another person would make him see how ridiculous it all was.

But instead Arthur nodded, like Robin was being smart. “Yes. Now you get it.”

“I don’t get it.” Robin snapped, taking a step backwards. “I think you’re a lunatic. You’ve lost your mind.”

Arthur’s jaw stiffened with anger. “Careful, Robin.” He warned.

“You are completely mad, Prince Arthur. But you’ll never see it. You can’t. You’re clearly too far gone in your delusions and the lies you’ve told yourself to ever see it. I hope to the gods you never find Merlin. I pray the gods keep him safe from you-”

“I know exactly where he is, Robin.” Arthur said, and Robin’s stomach did a flip. “Near Tunstead, follow the stream south, he lives in a cabin within eyesight of the stream.”

Arthur smiled at Robin’s horrified expression. “So you see, I know I am close. I am  _ so close  _ to bringing my Merlin home, and ending that mute whore’s life for ever taking him away from me. Victory shall be mine, Robin, and it shall be sweet.”

Robin stared at Arthur for what seemed like an eternity, looking at that smug, gloating face.

_ I can’t let him do it. _ Robin thought to himself.  _ I have to get away, I have to warn them _ .

Robin turned tail and ran without another thought, running faster than he had in his life.

He didn’t dare look back but maybe he should have, to see how quickly Arthur was gaining on him.

Robin felt the back of his shirt get yanked backwards, and it strangled him briefly before he fell.

Arthur wasted no time giving him a solid punch to the nose, and Robin felt the blood gush at once.

Arthur hooked his hands under Robin’s armpits, dragging him to the stream. Robin finally got his wits back, and thrashed for all he was worth, thinking to himself,  _ if I die out here, Simon will never know what happened to me. _

This thought made him fight harder, trying to twist out of Arthur’s grip, trying to stand and run away.

But Arthur got him to the stream anyway, flipping him over and shoving his face under the water.

Robin held his breath instinctively, trying to dig his hand into the ground and push up, even if he only managed to lift his face out for a second for some air.

_ I will  _ not  _ die here. _ Robin thought, determinedly.

He tried to roll to the side, trying to keep holding his breath, not to breath in any water.

He felt what could only be Arthur’s knees pressing into his back, holding him down effectively.

Robin turned his head to the left, trying to at least suck in some air as his lungs began to burn. But the prince grabbed the back of his head, pressing it down further into the water.

_ It can’t end like this, Simon will never know, Merlin and Artemis will never know the danger they are in. I can’t die!  _ Robin’s thoughts became more pleading, like he were begging with fate itself.

Robin’s lungs began to feel like they were on fire, burning in his chest as they screamed for air. He began to feel light, airy, even as he tried to keep his senses about him and begged for a miracle.

_ I won’t die. I can’t die- _

Robin felt the knees on his back shifted slightly, and he tried to gather the strength to twist away. Until he felt the unmistakable feeling of a sharp blade going through his upper back, right into his heart.

He sucked in automatically, and felt his body become lighter and lighter.

_ I am dying _ .

******************************************************************************

Arthur stood up beside Robin’s body, still half-lying in the stream. He pulled his dagger out of the corpse, rinsing it off in the stream, drying it on his tunic, and strapping it back to his waist.

He was almost tempted to roll the body over, to look at Robin one last time… Then he shrugged that notion away. What’s done is done. No use in ogling over him.

“This is what becomes of those who cross me, Robin.” Arthur told the corpse. “You really should have died in the dungeons like I wanted.”

Arthur walked back the way he came, seeing the drying shirts hanging in the trees, and one lone shirt still snagged on a rock in the stream. He wondered how long it would take people to notice he was missing, or who might stumble upon the body.

Either way, he’d do well to leave town now before they did.

******************************************************************************

Simon left the forge that evening, keeping Robin’s gift wrapped up in some cloth for safekeeping.

He started the short walk home, anticipating the smell of cooking and perhaps of freshly baked bread, if Robin had felt up to it.

Hurried, panicked footsteps headed his way, and Simon turned to see Levi, one of the town elders, racing towards him.

“Simon, come quick!” Levi said, his eyes filled with a kind of urgency. “You need to come to the stream right away.”

Simon very nearly said no. He wanted to see Robin after a long day. He wanted to give him his surprise gift, and see those gorgeous eyes light up with excitement and gratitude.

But the look on Levi’s face made him agree without an argument, and he followed him to the stream.

There were people gathered around, crowding a certain spot. Simon thought he would have to push through the crowd, but when Levi announced Simon was here, they all parted, and a strange look on their faces.

Simon didn’t have time to try and decipher their faces. His eyes locked onto the body lying on the forest floor.

The body.

Lying deathly still.

Simon forced his legs to take him closer to it, not wanting to see who he saw.

His Robin. His cherished Robin, lifeless before him.

Simon dropped to his knees and yelled out in anguish, grabbing up the cold body and holding it to himself. “Robin!” He cried, his throat hoarse with sorrow.

He buried his face in the wet shirt, and sobbed loudly, not caring what a single person thought. His Robin was gone. He rocked with the body, squeezing it tight, barely able to hear what Levi was saying to him.

“He was found by Claudia just recently…. He was in the water, face down… there’s a gash in his back.”

Simon fingers found the gash Levi spoke of. He felt his chest constrict with renewed anger and grief. He looked up at the crowd, at Levi. “This was a murder!” He yelled, his voice raw with grief. “Robin was murdered! Who did this to him?! Who?”

Levi tried to touch his shoulder, to calm him down, and Simon shoved him away, gathering Robin in his arms and standing.

“Leave us alone.” Simon shouted as he carried Robin home. “Leave us in peace.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon nearly collapsed when he got home. He didn’t notice the cold, or the dark. Robin would have had a fire going by now. He would have lit several candles. He would have grinned at Simon as he came home, telling him what he did all day, wanting to know what sort of things Simon did.

Instead, the house was empty, and colder than it had ever felt, and Robin was a stiff, cold corpse in his arms.

“Robin, no….” This has to be a terrible dream. Simon must still be curled up in bed next to Robin, having an awful nightmare. Soon he would awaken, and he would feel relief that none of it was true, and Robin would sleepily curl up tighter to him like a cat, practically purring, begging for a few more minutes with Simon.

But no matter how much Simon willed it, he didn't wake up, and the reality was just this: Robin was gone, out of nowhere, with no warning and nothing Simon could do about it.

He carried Robin to bed, laying him out, lighting a candle and leaving it at the bedside table. His tears never ceased falling. He’d never felt such raw sorrow and pain a day in his life.

Robin meant the world to him. He completed him. Simon… Simon knew, in his heart, that he had loved this man. And he’d wanted to tell him. Every time Robin pressed up close and beamed up at him, every time Robin asked for a kiss in that way of his, blinking his blue eyes once and looking innocent. He never knew if Robin did that on purpose, but it always made Simon’s heart melt.

If he could go back… Robin would know. Robin would know beyond a doubt how much Simon loved him.

“Robin.” Simon pet back his hair, smoothing it out. “I made you something. I was going to give it to you tonight. I’ve been working on it the past few days.”

Simon pulled the gift from his waistband, unwrapping it. “It’s… it’s a robin. Made out of metal. Sitting on a metal branch. I thought… it was something you might like, something you could look at and be reminded of me while I’m at the forge.” He pressed it into Robin’s cold hands.

Simon laid in silence beside the body for gods know how long.

“Did I fail you?” He asked, choking up at the question. “In some way, I think I did. This was no accident.” Tears fell anew at those words. “Someone went after you. Why would they do that? You had no enemies. None at all.” Simon got angry thinking of the stab wound on Robin’s back. “You didn’t deserve that. You deserved a good, long life after what you’ve been through. I wanted us to grow old together. I could see it, so clearly in my mind’s eye, you and I…”

Simon wept openly again, his heart completely shattered. If he could go back… If only he could go back… He’d have relented when Robin said he didn’t want to go launder his shirts at the stream today. Maybe that would have prevented this tragedy. But Simon would never know for sure.

“I want you to have justice.” Simon told Robin. “I will make sure the town never forgets what happened to you. I want them to act, to find the person who did this. And I want that person to pay dearly.”

Simon lay beside the body until dawn, weeping and mourning, sometimes saying the things he’d wished he could have said while Robin was still with him.

At the break of dawn, the birds welcomed a new day.

And Simon wept anew.


	36. Chapter 36

Mere hours after Robin’s death, and hours still before the body would be discovered, Arthur rode his horse steadily through the woods.

He had arrived in Tunstead- well… He more skirted the edge of town as to not draw suspicions, obviously if either Merlin or Artemis had been in town, he didn’t want to be seen by them- and had followed the stream as instructed from there.

He realized, as he started guiding his horse to walk beside the stream, that he wasn’t entirely sure of how long to follow it for…. If Elias had told him, he’d forgotten. It could be 20 minutes, it could be 2 hours….

So after maybe a half hour of riding his horse slowly through the woods, he paused to let his horse rest, and to lean against a tree and gather his thoughts.

He was trying to be as quiet as possible on the horse, but that was proving to be difficult. Every time his horse’s hooves clacked, or a twig snapped, he winced, thinking that if Merlin and Artemis were close, surely they could hear him coming.

Arthur thought for a moment, and then got up to get his crossbow. He loaded a bolt into it.

If he happened upon one or both of them too suddenly, a quick bolt to the leg should prevent any attempts at escaping. It wasn’t a part of his ideal plan to stumble upon one of them too early, but he had to be prepared for anything.

******************************************************************************

Artemis held Merlin’s hand as they walked through the meadow. He didn’t have his journal with him on their walk, not feeling like he would need to communicate much. In his other hand, he carried a few wildflowers, holding them up to his nose and sniffing every once in a while.

Merlin was telling a story about his old friend back in Ealdor, something about almost setting somebody’s house on fire by accident. Artemis was only half-listening, thinking about Merlin’s planned trip tomorrow to Mirfield or Mirefield, whichever one it was. He hoped he would be successful getting a lead there. Merlin may have promised to search the world to find a spell that would give Artemis a voice, but that didn’t mean Artemis wanted him to run himself ragged in search for an elusive potion, or a spell powerful enough to heal Artemis.

“I hope Gaius wrote my mother and told her what became of me…” Merlin said, now wistful. “I don’t want her to worry about me. Maybe I could pay her a visit. Or maybe… we could.” He looked at Artemis. “I’d love to introduce you to her.”

Artemis looked at Merlin, eyes wide.  _ As…. your lover? Or just as a friend? _ He wondered.

“I trust my mother. She loves me. She wants me to be safe and happy most of all. And you make me happy. So… I imagine she would accept us.”

The last thing Artemis wanted was to strain his relationship with his mother, but if Merlin truly thought she would accept it….

Merlin held Artemis’ hand to his mouth and kissed it. “Would you like that? To meet my mother?”

Artemis didn’t even have to consider this before nodding. Merlin spoke highly of his mother, and she sounded like a fine woman. Artemis would be honored to meet her.

Merlin smiled. “We can plan a trip sometime. Maybe nearer to summer’s end?”

Artemis agreed, returning the smile. He held the flowers to his nose and sniffed deeply. He touched the soft petals of one of the blue flowers, in awe of its delicacy.

Merlin squeezed Artemis’ hand to get his attention. “I think we should head back. Then I’ll check the traps to see what we’ve caught today.”

Artemis agreed, and they started back.

After they exited the woods, and got into the clearing where their cabin was, Merlin surprised Artemis by pulling him close, and giving him a kiss.

Artemis lifted up onto his tiptoes to deepen the kiss, his heart fluttering. He quickly broke the kiss, moving on to kissing his sharp jaw, then his neck.

He threw his arms around Merlin’s neck and Merlin wrapped his arms around Artemis’ waist and Artemis just stood, resting his head against Merlin’s chest, taking in the moment.

******************************************************************************

The second Merlin and Artemis came into view in the clearing, Arthur’s heart stopped.

Merlin was exactly as Arthur remembered: lithe, pale, bright smile… It made Arthur nearly fall out of the tree he was safely perched in. He felt confident he would be unseen amongst the branches, but he still felt a bit ridiculous. His crossbow was sitting in his lap.

He felt every nerve thrill as he watched Merlin walk closer to the cabin.  _ Merlin, I’m here!  _ Arthur wanted to shout out.  _ I finally made it! I’m here! I’m here to take you home! _

Then Arthur’s eyes locked on Artemis, who was holding Merlin’s hand, and he felt fiery rage and hatred coarse through him.

_ You whore,  _ he hissed in his head,  _ you will soon regret taking Merlin away from me. _

Then Merlin pulled Artemis close, and kissed him, and Arthur’s vision went red, his hand starting to position itself on the crossbow.

He shook his head to calm himself.  _ Can’t.  _ he reminded himself. It wouldn’t do to risk everything and possibly ruin his entire carefully thought-out plan because of his anger at what he was seeing.

He saw Merlin playfully squeeze Artemis’ backside and his lip curled.

Merlin was entirely taken in by Artemis, it would seem… Arthur might have a slight struggle getting him back home...

Artemis’ hand passed over the front of Merlin’s breeches and he looked suggestively at Merlin. Merlin laughed, a sound Arthur was dying to hear, but was too far away to.

And then they held hands again, and walked into the cabin.

The thought of what they might get up to in there made Arthur’s gut twist painfully. Gods… 

It seemed like ages ago that he had excitedly sought out secretly observing Merlin and Artemis’ sexual escapades… Now, the thought of them being intimate made him feel ill.

It should be  _ Arthur  _ walking into that cabin with Merlin. Arthur and Merlin were tied by fate and destiny, Artemis had no place here. Arthur scowled. Merlin was betraying Arthur every time he was intimate with that mute wretch.

Arthur realized he was digging his nails into the bark of the tree and he untensed them and made himself be calm.

Never matter, Arthur told himself, Artemis would soon be out of the picture, and Merlin would come to his senses. 

******************************************************************************

Merlin listened to Artemis’ heady sighs of pleasure as he buried his tongue in his entrance.

Merlin pet Artemis’ thighs as his tongue thrust and swirled. His lover tensed and arched, hands patting around until they touched Merlin’s hair and gently stroked Merlin’s already-messy, dark hair.

This was one of Artemis’ favorite pastimes, and yet Merlin still remembers his original reluctance and embarrassment when Merlin first suggested it to him. Merlin eased him into the idea, and eventually Artemis even came to ask for it, although still shy at first about wanting it.

Merlin’s tongue made a quick pass over Artemis’ opening before he pulled away, slicking his own fingers with saliva and working one in.

“You’ve gotten so good at being on your back.” Merlin praised him. Last year, Artemis would have never allowed Merlin to even prep him while on his back. Too many terrible memories, Merlin knew.

And now, Artemis seemed perfectly at ease, legs up, lost in bliss, while Merlin worked him with his tongue and fingers.

Merlin sat up a bit more so he could see Artemis’ face better. Gods, he was gorgeous… full lips opening and closing softly in reaction to Merlin’s fingers in him, dark eyelashes fluttering, throat working silently… 

“I don’t deserve you.” Merlin whispered. “You are so perfect.”

Artemis’ eyes opened briefly to look at him, and then shut again.

Merlin worked in another finger and Artemis arched encouragingly.

Merlin wondered what lovemaking would look like once Artemis had a voice. Currently, Merlin paid attention to every sigh, every huff, every facial expression Artemis would make, gauging his pleasure, or rarely (gods forbid) his discomfort.

Merlin closed his eyes, burying his fingers as deep as they would go, remembering what Artemis sounded like from the caves. He imagined that voice pleading with him, crying out his name, begging for more….

Merlin grabbed his aching arousal, suddenly not as satisfied being outside of Artemis.

He very gradually eased in a third finger, watching for any twinges that said Artemis wasn’t ready. When nothing happened, Merlin set to work curling and twisting his fingers, opening him up even further.

By the time he was ready to slip in, Artemis was begging for it, reaching for Merlin, and Merlin couldn’t even pretend to hesitate.

He slid in and groaned at the feeling as Artemis tightened wantonly around him. Merlin hovered over Artemis, kissing him as Artemis wrapped his legs around Merlin’s hips as Merlin drove into him relentlessly.

Artemis held the back of Merlin’s head, dragging his fingers through his dark locks, slipping his tongue into Merlin’s mouth, lifting his hips to meet Merlin’s thrusts.

As Merlin’s cock brushed that spot in him, Artemis shivered with pleasure, pulling away from their kiss to lick and suck Merlin’s protruding collar bone, tasting the salt from his sweat.

Merlin knew as soon as he felt Artemis suck marks onto his skin that he wasn’t going to last for too much longer.

Merlin slowed down, trying to stave off his orgasm. He ran his hand through Artemis’ hair and Artemis looked up at him with those gorgeous, innocent brown eyes and Merlin went still, finding himself admiring his lover once more.

Artemis wiggled his hips, like he was reminding Merlin of what they were supposed to be doing. Merlin slowly started thrusting again, repositioning himself slightly so he could cup the side of Artemis’ face and look at his face.

Trying not to finish embarrassingly quickly, Merlin kept his pace slow, leaning down to softly kiss Artemis’ face and neck. “Gods, you feel incredible.” Merlin murmured against his lover’s skin. “I’m just trying to last.”

He didn’t mean it as a joke, but he heard Artemis sniff a laugh anyway. And then his lover wrapped his arms around his shoulders and sucked on Merlin’s earlobe, nipping it.

“Oh, gods, you’re not going to let me, are you?” Merlin’s laugh is strained as he feels his pleasure about to peak.

Artemis tightened up in response, licking a line from Merlin’s collarbone to just under his ear, then lightly bit and sucked on that sensitive area.

Merlin shakes as he cums, emptying into Artemis, and Artemis sighs and arches, like this was what he had been longing for all day.

Merlin pulls out, rolling onto his back while Artemis brings himself off quickly, and curls up beside Merlin.

“We were going to check the traps, weren’t we?” Merlin huffed a laugh and Artemis grinned, laying with his head on Merlin’s chest.

Merlin was trying to relax after their lovemaking. His heart was still pounding and he could hear Artemis’ heavy breathing fill the room.

“We’ll get on that soon… As soon as I catch my breath…”

Artemis nuzzled into his chest and Merlin ran one hand down his body. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to that town with me tomorrow?”

Artemis shook his head and Merlin frowned. “Okay then… I’ll try to be thorough, and talk to as many people as I can. I hope I can find a good lead…” Merlin shifted the blanket to cover them further. “I’ve heard of places in the North where magic users gather at certain times of the year…. I just don’t want to travel so far first thing if I can find someone close by who might be able to help us. Maybe someone knows where some Druids are gathered. I’m sure the Druids might know a thing or two about healing magic. Or know someone who is powerful enough to heal you.”

Merlin hated using the word ‘heal’ in regards to Artemis’ muteness. But he also supposed it was the proper word to use to easily describe fixing it.

He never minded Artemis’ muteness. It wasn’t exactly convenient, but he wasn’t frustrated by it. He just learned to work around it.

But he also didn’t have to deal with the other frustrations that must come with it. If Artemis wanted to speak, then Merlin would do everything in his power to make that happen.

“I wonder what your laugh sounds like.” Merlin mused out loud. Artemis ran a finger along Merlin’s jaw.

“You can tell me to shut up if I annoy you with my stories.” Merlin joked.

Artemis snorted and shook his head, like he was denying he would ever do that.

“We should get dressed soon if we want dinner done by nightfall.” Merlin nudged him gently and Artemis drew in closer. “Alright.” Merlin conceded. “Just a few minutes longer.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur waited with great impatience, perched in his tree, waiting for at least one to reemerge.

His horse. Gods, his horse was still tied up beside the stream nearly a half hour’s walk back. He needed to lead him to an area where he could graze.

Arthur shifted, wondering if he should get out of the tree and quickly tend to his horse.

Then Merlin emerged from the cabin. He had a lazy, satisfied look on his face, his hair was ruffled, and he was still adjusting his clothes. Arthur sneered. It was obvious what he had just been doing.

Then the mute boy came out from behind him, his hair equally as mussed as he tried to smooth it down, smiling at Merlin as he took his hand.

Seeing the mute take Merlin’s hand, and seeing Merlin give him a look of such great affection… Arthur gripped the crossbow tightly. Merlin was so fooled by this wretch, by his seeming innocence and unassuming demeanor. Arthur saw through the ploy. He saw it so clearly. Artemis simply was using Merlin, perhaps for protection, and Merlin was unable to see that.

He would have to make Merlin understand why it was Arthur, not Artemis, that he was destined to live his life alongside. He was taken with the mute, that was clear, but the mute was a distraction, a clear divergence from Merlin’s true path that he was meant to take with Arthur.

Merlin would be upset once the distraction was dealt with, but Arthur would be there to explain to him why it was a good thing he was gone. He would be there to make Merlin see the path fate had laid out for them. And Arthur was convinced that once Artemis was gone, Merlin’s head would clear, and he would understand that Arthur did what he had to for the sake of their own future.

Arthur was pulled from his thoughts as he saw Merlin and Artemis start walking towards the forest, right towards the area where he was hiding amongst the branches.

Arthur pulled back, trying not to rustle any leaves, resting his back against the base of the tree, praying that they wouldn’t look up as they were passing under, as they had a good chance of seeing him if they did.

“... craving squirrel, if I’m being honest. It’s been mostly rabbits these past couple of weeks, and I could go for something different.”

Merlin’s bright, cheerful voice rang out as he passed under the tree, blissfully unaware of Arthur’s presence right above him.

Arthur’s heart raced until they were a safe distance away, exhaling the breath he had been holding.

Once he was calm, he got to thinking. How was he to get Artemis alone and away from Merlin? They seemed to be attached at the hip. Surely they spent  _ some  _ time apart….

Arthur’s plot would unravel if he was unable to get Artemis alone.

He could sneak up on Artemis if he could just find a time when he was separated from Merlin. At least the boy couldn’t shout for help or scream. It was finding a time when he would finally be away from Merlin.

Everything would fall apart quickly if Merlin spotted him at any time before he could move Artemis to a secondary location. It was hard to imagine Merlin casting spells, but Arthur was not quick to try and use a sword against a sorcerer. He was banking on the element of surprise for his entire plan.

******************************************************************************

_ I wonder how talkative he’ll be….  _ Merlin stroked Artemis’ hair as his lover slept beside him.  _ Suppose I’ll have to teach him how to form words, though… He won’t be able to speak perfectly at once. Or maybe the spell or potion will grant him perfect speech…. No, that’s silly.  _

Merlin ran his knuckles down Artemis’ face, then down his throat. Gods, to carry on a conversation with Artemis with ease at last… It would be fantastic.

******************************************************************************

Arthur had tied his horse near the field so the horse could eat something while Arthur went through his bag of supplies once more.

He’d managed to shimmy down the tree silently after nightfall, once he was sure neither Merlin nor Artemis would be coming back out for the night to see him.

Glass bottles clinked against one another as he pulled them out one by one, reading the labels, though he had already memorized them a while ago.

He ran through his plan in his head, counting his crossbow bolts, checking the sharpness of his blade, reciting his speech.

He’d never been more prepared or excited for anything in his life.

He briefly thought about if Robin had been discovered yet… It was nightfall, and the spot where he had died wasn’t exactly in the middle of nowhere… He assumed Robin had been found by now.

He tried to figure out if he felt sorry for Robin being dead… The first time he thought Robin was a dead man down in the dungeons of Camelot, he occasionally would feel some sort of regret… sometimes he would want to let off some steam, and he would wish for Robin, or someone like Robin, to be there for him to let off that steam.

And now, with absolute certainty that Robin was gone, Arthur wasn’t sure if he really missed him. Sure, the lad had been eager and willing early on, but it didn’t seem like he still had that attitude towards the prince when they had met again unexpectedly…

Whoever Robin had been when they first met, he had certainly changed in the time he’d left Camelot. And Arthur didn’t exactly have the same level of desire towards him as he had had before.

He would soon have Merlin. And he didn’t really need anyone else.

******************************************************************************

Artemis couldn’t stop smiling as he ate breakfast. Merlin was going to that town today. He tried not to get his hopes up too high, knowing Merlin might not find anything out on his first attempt.

But there was always the chance of Merlin meeting just the right person, or getting the perfect lead of where to go.

Gods, maybe Artemis would be talking by  _ tonight _ . Artemis shifted in his seat excitedly as Merlin set down his finished bowl of porridge and started getting ready.

Merlin tied his scarf around his neck, and then pulled his boots on. Artemis came up behind him, unable to hide the smile on his face.

Merlin seemed amused, giving Artemis a kiss. “It’s a long walk.” He pet Artemis’ cheek. “I might not be back until mid-afternoon.”

Artemis nodded, touching the soft material of Merlin’s scarf, moving the fabric between his fingers.

“I’m going to ask around, and I won’t be back until I’ve exhausted all my options.” Merlin gently took Artemis’s hand and held it. “I won’t let you down, okay? If I find nothing at this place, then it’s on to the next town another day.”

Artemis felt his heart leap at Merlin’s promise and resolve. He was fortunate indeed to have a man who cared for him so.

Merlin kissed his fingers. “I love you. I’ll see you later today.”

Artemis nodded, kissing Merlin a final time, watching him go out the door.

******************************************************************************

Arthur perked up when he saw Merlin leaving the cabin, and heading for the hills behind the cabin.

“Where’s he off to, then?” Arthur muttered to himself. Merlin’s gait was eager and energetic,satchel swinging at his side, and his spirits seemed high. Arthur twisted his mouth. He wasn’t headed to Tunstead… That would have taken him in the direction of the trees Arthur was currently hiding amongst. Arthur wasn’t sure what lay in that direction Merlin just went.

Maybe he’d be gone for less than an hour…

_ Or _ , Arthur thought, tightening his grip on a tree branch as he gazed at the cabin,  _ he will be gone for several hours _ .

******************************************************************************

Artemis set the dirty dishes in a pile on the table to be cleaned later. He swept a little, then set to work cleaning out the fireplace to keep his mind off of Merlin and his journey to that town.

By the time the fireplace was clean, Artemis’s entire arms were covered in soot and ash and he went outside with the bar of soap to wash it off.

When he checked his reflection in the water, he realized the soot was not only covering his arms, but had gotten all in his hair as well.

Giving a disgruntled huff, he set to work scrubbing away the ash on his arms first, washing it wash away in the water. He was fascinated by the swirl of black as it was swept away.

Artemis rinsed his newly clean arms off, looking up into the sky. It was getting hotter, and must be nearing late morning. 

Artemis dunked his head underwater, and then lathered his hair in the soap. He kept checking his hair in the water, scrubbing around his hairline, making sure not to miss a single spot. Missing any meant that his skin would break out in spots in a couple of days, and he didn’t want that.

Artemis wished he had brought along a towel to dry himself off… As it were, he shook his head like a dog, so at least he wasn’t dripping everywhere.

He sat back after he checked everything out in his reflection, taking in his surroundings for a bit.

He looked into the water, reaching in to pull out a smooth, flat, black stone. He hefted it, wondering if it would skip. Probably not… too heavy. He smiled fondly to himself as he remembered Merlin cheating the last time they skipped stones together.

******************************************************************************

_ What’s that idiot grinning about?  _ Arthur grumbled in his head.

He’d been stuck up here for a couple of hours, at first making sure Merlin wasn’t coming back, and then to wait for Artemis to come out. He didn’t want to ambush him in his home. Too many things could be used against him as a weapon. And he didn’t want to leave signs of a struggle.

When Artemis emerged, Arthur smiled satisfactorily to himself. He watched Artemis go to the stream, his arms and hair coated in what looked like dirt or ash.

Arthur shimmied down the tree as quietly as possible while Artemis stared into the water like some sort of simpleton, picking out rocks and smiling at them while he felt them over.

Arthur held the bags of glass vials next to his waist. He had the bag secured with a strap over his shoulder, but he still held it tightly to his body with his left hand, not wanting the vials to rattle and alert Artemis too soon. In his right hand, he held his crossbow in such a way that he could quickly lift, aim, and fire when he needed to. His dagger hung by his right side.

******************************************************************************

Artemis turned away from the water, looking toward the garden next to the house. He walked over to it leisurely, admiring it before he even got to it.

Some of the plants had survived the damage done to them. The seeds they had planted after the garden was maimed were growing beautifully.

Artemis touched a broad, green leaf, looked at the flowers blooming on some of the vines. Some of these would be bearing fruit soon…

Artemis feels a slight chill go down his spine, and he straightens up, curious. He turns around and sees someone very familiar standing not twenty feet away.

He blinks in alarm and takes a step back, at first not quite believing what he was seeing.

Prince Arthur.

But…. How?

How did he find them?

Artemis was frozen still with shock until he saw Prince Arthur sling the bag he was carrying to the ground, and raise up his crossbow, aiming it at Artemis.

Artemis turned tail and ran away, trying to think through his panic.

He should head towards where Merlin went.

No, he should try to go through the woods into town.

Easier to get to Tunstead.

But Merlin could easily dispose of Arthur with a wave of his hand and a flash of his eyes.

But Merlin was a few hours away, even if Artemis ran the whole time-

He felt a sharp pain cut through his leg, a few inches above his ankle. He gasped and fell forward, trying to get up. His injured leg refused to respond to him, so he feebly and uselessly tried to drag himself forward along the ground.

He felt a foot plant itself in the middle of his back, forcing him still, making it hard to breathe.

Artemis tried to turn, to look at Arthur, but Arthur kept his weight on him.

Artemis’ mouth opened in a silent cry of pain as he felt Arthur yank the crossbow bolt out of his leg. He felt a warm gush of blood pour out from the wound.

Then Arthur flipped him over, giving him a grim smile. “Artemis.” He greeted him. “It’s been so long. We have a lot of catching up to do.”

******************************************************************************

Arthur checked up on a still-unconscious Artemis, making sure he wasn’t slipping away.

He’d hit him rather hard with the blunt end of his dagger at the base of the skull to knock him out, but he had shown no signs of stirring since…

Artemis’ pulse was still good, so Arthur triple-checked that the ropes he’d bound him to the tree with were adequate. Artemis was currently slumped against the tree, heading lolling weakly towards his chest, knees bent as his feet touched the ground. Arthur lifted Artemis’ chin, looking him over.

He looked exactly the same as he had a year ago…. Same tanned skin, plain features… Arthur frowned. He looked so… innocent… 

Arthur snarled and let go, and Artemis’ head dropped down again.

Artemis was not an innocent. He’d attacked the prince, he’d stolen Merlin from him…. It was his fault Arthur was treated like an invalid by his own father for months. Artemis deserved everything that was coming to him.

Arthur puffed out air and looked at the sun in the sky. Artemis had been unconscious for maybe an hour. He should be waking up soon. Arthur didn’t have all day. Merlin could arrive at that cabin any minute, and go looking for Artemis. Arthur was  **not** about to have everything ruined by Merlin showing up too early. Not before Arthur did everything he wanted.

Artemis shifted as best he could, lifting his head, looking dazed and lost. He blinked a lot, tried to move, and then gradually seemed to realize he was bound with his back against a tree.

“Hello, Artemis. It’s been too long.” Arthur said darkly, kneeling in front of him.

Dazed though he was, Artemis’ eyes went wide with recognition and fear. He twisted this way and that, like he was trying to get loose.

“Oh, Artemis, that will do you no good.” Arthur tsked. He stood up, going over to his bag of glass vials. He pulled out one that was filled with an amber liquid. He walked it over to Artemis.

“Do you know what this is?” Arthur asked softly, taking great delight in Artemis’ struggle.

Artemis shook his head, barely looking at the vial.

“It’s poison.”

Artemis’ face twisted up with terror and he started trying to yank his arms free upwards. Arthur smirked amusedly at the sight.

“I said before, that will do you no good. I’ve got you well and tied up, Artemis.” Arthur assured him. “Now.” He held the poison before Artemis’ face. “This is poison. And you’re going to drink it.”

Artemis shook his head wildly, kicking his legs out. Arthur moved back a bit to avoid the kicks.

“Not right this moment.” Arthur rescinded. “But later. And I’ll tell you why you’ll drink it.”

Arthur grabbed his legs and yanked them apart, getting in close. “Because once I’m done with you, you will long for death. You will be  _ begging  _ to drink it to end the pain before I’m even halfway done.”

Artemis’ breaths came out in short, terrified bursts. His eyes were wide and filling with tears. Arthur smiled, touching his cheek. “Merlin will not save you. And when you are dead, I will take him back to Camelot with me.”

Arthur ran a hand through Artemis’ hair in a false display of affection. “But I suppose you think Merlin will kill me once he sees what I’ve done to you. With his sorcery.”

Artemis went still, his face becoming confused.

“You didn’t think I knew? Of course I know. And I took safety measures to ensure he will bring me no harm. I imagine he’ll mourn you for a minute. But he’ll come round. And then it will be he and I, as fate has laid out before us.”

Artemis was shaking from fear, his bottom lip trembling.

Arthur unsheathed his dagger. “Let’s begin.”

******************************************************************************

_ Merlin. _

_ Merlin will save me. _

_ He will find me. _

_ He will end this. _

Artemis stared straight up at the sky, flat on his back. His mind’s eye filled with images and thoughts of Merlin, of his memories with him.

The time they were walking through the woods and Merlin tripped and fell flat on his face and Artemis’ stomach hurt from his silent laughter.

Their first kiss.

When Artemis showed him how to braid a flower crown, and then he’d placed it on Merlin’s head and Merlin had grinned and asked, “How do I look?”

The time Merlin challenged him to a race in the meadow, and looked completely shocked when Artemis left him in the dust.

When Merlin carried him around the castle on his back for fun, not caring about the weird looks the guards and other servants gave them.

When Merlin took him out late one night, and they looked up at the stars together, and then Merlin looked at him and told Artemis that he felt at his happiest when Artemis was by his side.

All these flashed through his mind vividly, dulling the pain cutting through him.

Artemis gasped when he was struck harshly. The pain suddenly became sharp. He squeezed his eyes shut.

Arthur hovered above him, wedged between his legs, hands holding down Artemis’ wrists. Arthur gave another powerful thrust and Artemis silently let out a cry.

It hurt more than he remembered.

“You’re not blocking a single second of this out.” Arthur snarled at him, striking him again.

Artemis shut his eyes tightly, trying to remember Merlin’s touch.

Merlin’s hands ruffling his hair.

Merlin running the back of his hand down Artemis’ cheek.

Merlin opening him gently, making absolutely sure he was ready before entering him with a groan.

A stark contrast to the prince spitting on his entrance and then forcing his way inside, laughing when Artemis threw his head back and his mouth opened in a mute scream.

“Feels so damn perfect.” The prince groaned. “I can see why Merlin enjoys you.”

Artemis gritted his teeth, hating hearing his lover’s name come out of this monster’s mouth.

Artemis opened his eyes once more, watching the wind blow through the tallest of trees, trying to pretend he wasn’t here.

_ Merlin will be back. _

_ He will look for me. _

_ Merlin will save me from this. _

_ He promised. _

******************************************************************************

“Do I look like someone who consorts with sorcerers?” The innkeeper snapped at Merlin. “Why do you think I would know any?”

Merlin stammered, feeling dumb. “I was told you have a lot of connections and-”

“I don’t consort with sorcerers!” The innkeeper repeated. “Go ask someone else.”

“It’s just my friend is sick-”

“Then go see a physician.” The innkeeper seemed more pissed by the second.

Merlin snapped his mouth shut and slowly backed away, turning and leaving the inn.

He felt so lost in this town. Mirefield, as the sign said. He was starting to wish Artemis was with him.

He looked around, for anyone who seemed slightly friendly, someone he could ask about a witch, or a Druid, anyone with magic that could ‘heal’ someone.

He sighed. He felt like he’d let Artemis down after only being here an hour.

“Looking for a healer, are you?”

Merlin spun around at the voice behind him.

A young man stood in the doorway of the inn, not much older than Merlin. He cocked his head. “Well?”

“I am looking for a healer, yes.” Merlin confirmed. “Who are you?”

“I heard the innkeeper snap at you. I decided I could help.” The man said, not really answering the question. “What’s wrong with your friend?”

“He’s… mute…” Merlin said reluctantly. The man raised his eyebrows. “I promised I would find someone who could fix that.”

“That’s a tricky one…” The young man said. “I do know someone.” He looked around, then took Merlin more off to the side. “A witch.” He said in a low voice. “She comes here sometimes. She heals people. She healed my arm once. I’ve been in her tent when she comes here and she has a ton of books. Maybe she knows a spell that could help your friend.”

Merlin felt such elation at hearing that. He smiled broadly. “When will she be here again?”

The young man shrugged regretfully. “I’m not sure. She was here a couple of months ago. When she comes, she’s usually here for about a week. Not sure where she lives the rest of the time. You’d just have to keep checking back. I can tell her about your problem if I see her before you.”

Merlin grasped the young man’s hand before he could stop himself. “Thank you! You see, I made a promise to my friend-”

“It’s fine.” The man pulled his hand away. “Just… keep checking back. She’ll probably be around again in the next few weeks.”

Merlin couldn’t contain his happiness. “Thank you!”

The man nodded, giving Merlin an odd look, then he turned without a word and went back inside the building.

Merlin rested his back against the building, feeling some hope. Maybe this witch would be skilled enough to help Artemis.

He wondered about taking Artemis along to see her. Artemis may feel comfortable with Merlin, but other magic users? Merlin twisted his mouth. He wasn’t sure. He’d have to ask.

The smell of sweet bread filled the air and Merlin felt a pull to follow it. Artemis loved sweet bread. Merlin could bring him a small treat along with the good news.

******************************************************************************

Arthur cut the rope he’d previously used to quickly bind Artemis’ ankles together after he’d had his way with him. The boy wouldn’t be able to run more than an inch if he gave it his all.

Arthur quickly tugged Artemis’ breeches back on, tying the drawstrings lazily before deciding it didn’t really matter.

Arthur grabbed Artemis under his chin, turned his head roughly to either side, admiring his handiwork.

Bite marks that were rapidly turning purple marred his neck and collarbone. Artemis’ cheekbones were black and blue from Arthur’s various strikes and punches. One of his eyes were swollen nearly shut from the punch Arthur gave him after Artemis tried valiantly to fight back and bite him.

Arthur pulled his legs apart cruelly, looking at the blood that had dried to his thighs. The boy hadn’t cried quite as much as Arthur had expected/hoped for… He’d stared up at the sky like a simpleton almost the entire time. This irked Arthur, but he found himself getting lost in the pleasure that the boy had brought him. Arthur’s legs had trembled as he came, and he heard Artemis give a strangled gasp and shudder. That more than made up for the lack of crying.

Arthur patted Artem’s bruised cheek. “Artemis,” He called, trying to rouse the mute. “You can’t slip away quite yet. I have just a couple more things I need to do.”

Artemis blinked, his eyes unfocused as they stared at Arthur.

“Where’s Merlin?” Arthur called softly. “He was supposed to save you by now, wasn’t he? So where is he?”

Artemis’ swollen mouth quirked up into a smile.

******************************************************************************

_ He’ll be here. _

_ He’ll be here and he’ll strike you dead for what you’ve done to me. _

_ Merlin will save me. _

_ He promised. _

_ ****************************************************************************** _

Arthur patted his cheek again, keeping him awake. “Nothing to say? Hm. Well then.”

Arthur stood, going over to the vial of poison he had placed safely back in the bag before starting his session with Artemis.

As Arthur unsheathed his dagger, he gave Artemis another once-over, eyeing his bruises, noting the glassiness of his eyes, and the way his fingers twitched, like he wasn’t controlling them.

“Robin was a lot more resilient than you.” Arthur informed Artemis, standing over him, making the dagger glint in the light. “He could take several blows and be back the next night, eager for more. You don’t seem to have his…. Constitution.”

Arthur crouched beside him. “Ah, Robin. You remember Robin, don’t you? I tried to leave him in the dungeons after he tried to run away like you and Merlin did. Left him for dead. But he escaped. Went to a new town, started a new life… I stumbled upon him completely by accident on the way here.”

He saw something flicker in Artemis’ eyes. Dread, perhaps.

“He ended up face-down in a stream with my dagger in his back.” Arthur took triumph in the way Artemis’ swollen lips trembled upon hearing that. “No one escapes me, Artemis. You thought you had, though. Didn’t you? I bet you still think Merlin is going to pull off some victory over me. But he’s not here. And you’ll be dead within the next two hours.”

Arthur wondered if, if he just abandoned Artemis here, if the elements would take him. Wild animals that weren’t picky about what they ate for their next meal were known to prowl around nightfall. Artemis didn’t look like he would survive the night if left here.

But Arthur wasn’t about to leave anything to chance.

“Do you see this?” Arthur pointed to his scar on his lip. “Do you remember how I got it? You  _ tricked  _ me, didn’t you? You got me thinking you finally had some appreciation for my attentions towards you. And then you severed my lip like some sort of wild beast. And you ran like a coward.”

Retelling the story made Arthur angry all over again. He unsheathed the dagger. “Before you drink the poison, let me give you a little taste of what you did to me.”

Arthur swiftly grabbed Artemis’ bottom lip, and sliced downwards, severing it about two inches.

Artemis gave a jerk and a feeble sigh of pain, going to cover the cut with a hand. Blood ran into his mouth, down his chin, and all over his hand as he sought to cover it.

Arthur pulled his hand away and yanked him into a sitting position. He held him by the collar of the shirt, taking joy in Artemis’ pained expression and the way he pushed the blood back out of his mouth.

“Stings, doesn’t it?” Arthur spat. “It’s nothing less than you deserve for making a fool out of me.” Arthur uncorked the vial of poison with one hand. “Once you drink this, and your miserable little life is finally at it’s end, I’m going to take Merlin back to Camelot with me. And soon he’ll forget all about you. You were just a distraction, a divergence from the path destiny laid out for us. And Merlin and I will live out our destiny together as the Fates foretold, and as I have seen in my dreams.”

Arthur yanked Artemis’ head back harshly, and poured the poison in, clasping a hand over his mouth until he heard Artemis swallow.

He let Artemis drop to the ground, a feeling of elation swelling in his chest. He’d done it.

Artemis would soon be no more, a life not worth remembering. A wretched stain to be scrubbed from Arthur’s memory once Merlin was in his arms back in Camelot.

******************************************************************************

_ Gods, this hurts. _

_ Merlin. _

_ Merlin, please. _

_ Save me. _

_ I can’t die. _

_ Merlin, save me. _

_ Please. _

Artemis’ body gave a pain shudder, his throat burning from the poison, his heartbeat growing more painful with every second that passed.

He could feel the poison coursing through him, tearing him up from the inside.

He weakly rolled over to the side, and coughed up metallic-tasting blood.

_ Merlin, please. _

_ It can’t end like this. _

_ Find me. _

_ Before it’s too late. _

_ Merlin. _

******************************************************************************

Arthur dropped Artemis at the edge of the woods, right before the clearing. He checked the boy's pulse. Weak, faint, but there.

Arthur, crossbow slung over his shoulder, bag now containing the magic-restraining neck-clasp, carefully walked into the clearing, keeping an eye out for Merlin.

He listened carefully for any footsteps, any twigs snapping, any sign that Merlin was back. He looked inside the cabin. No one was home.

Arthur let out a breath, and trotted back to where he’d left Artemis, picking him up and carrying him to the cabin, getting the door open and dropping him onto the ground a few feet inside from the door.

Arthur looked the body over. He looked dead already, but his chest rose faintly still. Hard to see if you weren’t looking for it.

Arthur backed out, looking to make sure Merlin wasn’t in sight, and made a quick dash for the trees, finding a spot to hide until Merlin would be back.

******************************************************************************

Merlin whistled joyfully as the cabin came into view, as was his habit whenever he’d been gone for hours. Typically, Artemis would come running up to him, bouncing happily alongside him the rest of the way home like an excited puppy, listening to whatever Merlin had to say, or to see if Merlin brought him a gift.

And Merlin technically had. The sweet bread was wrapped up in his satchel. He couldn’t wait to see the look on Artemis’ face when he pulled it out.

When he got closer, his whistle faded and he frowned. Artemis wasn’t running outside to see him.

Maybe he assumed Merlin would be gone for a bit longer so he took a walk or was checking on the traps.

Merlin got to the door and pushed it open. “Artemis?” He called.

His eyes were drawn to the figure lying on the floor.

His mind went blank for a while as he struggled to understand what he was seeing.

_ Artemis? _

_ That isn’t Artemis. _

It took Merlin a stunned 15 seconds of standing there to comprehend that the bloody, bruised person laying on the floor by the table was indeed Artemis.

He dropped his bag, and dashed over to his lover.

“Artemis!” Merlin lifted his head up from the ground, praying he would open his eyes. “Artemis, what happened?”

Merlin’s chest was so tight he could barely breathe, and his fingers shook as they opened Artemis’ eyelids to see if he was responsive.

Artemis’ pupils dilated, and his gaze flicked to Merlin's face.

“Artemis, love, what happened?” Merlin’s voice was barely above a whisper as he took in the cut and swollen lips, the multiple broken blood vessels around his eyes, the bruises on his cheekbones. “Who did this to you?”

Artemis’ body gave a jerk and he spat out dark blood onto the floor.

“No, no, no.” Merlin cradled Artemis’ head in his lap. “This isn’t happening. Stay with me, love.” He called his spellbook over to him without even looking. “I’m going to heal you, Artemis. Stay with me, okay? Please, stay with me…”

Merlin flipped through the book frantically, browsing through the healing spells.

Forcing his voice to be steady, he read out a spell, resting his left hand on Artemis’ chest. He looked down, waiting to see a change.

Artemis drew in a raspy breath, his hand weakly seeking out Merlin’s. Merlin grasped his hand, holding it tightly. “Artemis, you are  _ not  _ dying, okay? I will see you through this.”

He called out another spell, raising his voice as best he could manage. Merlin looked anxiously at Artemis for any change.

His voice rang out 4 more spells, trembling and coated with more emotion each time he saw that there was no change.

He felt Artemis tighten his grip and Merlin felt some hope. “Artemis?” He lightly stroked his bruised cheek. “Artemis, wake up. Please.” Merlin felt tears fall, saw them splatter on Artemis’ face. “Artemis, please. I love you. I can’t lose you. Please. Wake up.”

This can’t be happening. This was a nightmare, surely.

There was no warning. No danger Merlin could detect of any kind. Who could be cruel enough to-

Artemis drew in a wheezing breath, his fingers loosening in Merlin’s hand, his body growing limp.

“Artemis, please.” Merlin wept. “Please stay with me. I can use magic. I can heal this. I just need to find the right one. Please, hold on for me. Just a bit longer.”

Merlin flipped to the next page and he felt Artemis move his head. Merlin looked down at him.

Artemis was shaking his head feebly, his eyes growing closed even as he seemed to try and keep them open. He looked at Merlin, locking eyes with him one final time.

******************************************************************************

Face to face with his lover, as he realized he was dying, he couldn’t be angry with Merlin.

It wasn't worth it to die angry.

Merlin couldn’t have known.

Artemis didn’t want it to end this way.

He was so young.

And yet.

He’d always had the fear he would die alone. And he wasn’t alone.

Merlin had come, at the end.

He didn’t want Merlin to be alone.

He wanted to warn him about Arthur. But he couldn’t.

He hoped Merlin would be okay.

He’d seen Merlin how powerful Merlin was with his magic.

Maybe he would be okay against Arthur.

Artemis felt his body give another painful spasm.

He tried to squeeze Merlin’s hand one last time, wanting to be able to tell him so much.

About Arthur.

About how much Merlin meant to him.

How much he loved him.

How confident he felt that they would see each other again, in the afterlife.

He looked at the one person he’d ever loved one last time.

And his eyes shut as he felt himself fade away.

******************************************************************************

The noise Merlin made upon seeing Artemis’ eyes shut and his body still was not a sound he’d ever made or heard before.

It was a cry.

It was a scream.

It was a sob.

It was a sound filled with so much sorrow and anguish that it made the birds stop singing and the earth seemed to still for a moment after.

Merlin heard the sound of wood snapping and glass breaking and looked up through his tears to see that he’d unwittingly sent the table, chairs, and several of their pottery flying against the back wall with his magic.

Merlin grabbed Artemis’ body and held it flush to his own. He wept loudly, crying out his pain.

He felt like a piece of himself had just been carved out.

Some part of his soul died when Artemis did. He felt it. And he would never get it back. And he knew beyond a doubt he would never find anything to fill that void.

He shook with emotion, squeezing Artemis tightly to himself.

It wasn’t fair.

This wasn’t the way this was supposed to happen. He was going to find a way for Artemis to speak. He was going to take him to meet his mother. They were meant to grow old together, Merlin had felt it in his soul.

Merlin wished he could go back in time. He would have insisted Artemis go with him to town. Or he would have stayed behind with him.

Who could have done this to Artemis? Artemis was well-liked by everyone they knew. No one they knew could have done something so horrific to Artemis.

His lip was torn open, his face was covered in blood and bruises. His shirt was torn.

Had it been bandits? A robbery gone wrong?

Artemis must have been so scared.

For all his promises, for all the vows Merlin made on a whim, when Artemis was in his most dire need, Merlin failed him.

“Artemis, I am so sorry.” Merlin whispered in Artemis’ ear. “I failed you. I-”

Merlin heard the sound of wood creaking behind him and he blinked his tears away and turned to look.

He got a glimpse of a person before he felt something hard connect with the side of his head and he fell back, dazed.

He blinked several times, trying to shake away the dizziness, touching the side of his head and seeing blood on his fingers.

Merlin looked up again.

“A-Arthur?”

Arthur grimly rose the blunt end of his dagger again and slammed it into Merlin’s temple and Merlin’s world went dark.

******************************************************************************

Arthur had heard the cry. His skin prickled as he heard the entire world go quiet for a moment after Merlin yelled out his sorrow.

He had heard the sounds of things smashing against the walls, and he slowly made his way down the tree, taking controlled breaths, walking as silently as he could, dagger in its sheath.

He had seen Merlin rocking back and forth, weeping over the deceased form of Artemis. And the instant Merlin confusedly turned to look at him, Arthur struck.

He hit him one last time before Merlin could utter a single spell.

As Merlin fell back, unconscious, Arthur wasted no time digging out the jewelry and clasping it around Merlin’s neck.

The ends of the jewelry connected, and sealed with a small flash of light, not separating like they had before, when Arthur experimentally tapped them together.

Merlin’s magic was sealed away inside of him.

Arthur stood still for quite some time, eyes going back and forth from Artemis to Merlin. Taking in the broken form of his nemesis. Looking at the pale face of Merlin, with freshly-drawn blood from Arthur’s strike oozing down into his hair.

And Arthur smiled.

And he gave a loud laugh.

He won.

After waiting and plotting and dreaming and  _ suffering _ , he’d won.

Artemis was dead.

And Merlin was his forever more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the story. There will be an epilogue posted very soon, within the next few days, to tie up any loose ends.  
> Thank you for reading.


	37. Epilogue

THREE MONTHS LATER

Simon stood outside the door to his home like he always did at the end of the day, since he had started working at the forge again.

He hated going into a dark, empty house.

He hated scrounging up something quick to eat, and then going to bed alone.

Waking up alone.

Simon shut his eyes tightly, and leaned with one arm on the doorframe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ “Simon…. Please…” John stood in his doorway. It was the night Robin died, and Simon had been mourning and holding him until dawn broke. _

_ “Simon… I don’t want to…. I know how important he was to you.” John hesitated. “Simon, this isn’t sanitary. The rest of the town has gathered up the wood for the pyre. A few have volunteered to prepare the body for burning.” _

_ Simon lifted his head from where it had been buried against Robin’s still chest. “Leave me. Leave us in peace.” _

_ “The last thing I want is to interrupt your grieving. But we need to properly dispose of the body.” _

Dispose of the body.  _ Simon’s chest tightened at hearing those words. He looked down at Robin’s face. _

_ “I can give you another hour alone with him.” John conceded. _

_ “I want… I want to prepare the body myself. Alone. I insist.” Simon said as he saw John opened his mouth, presumably to argue. _

_ John shut his mouth. “I will see you in an hour.” He turned, shutting the door behind him. _

_ Simon’s hand rested on Robin’s leg. He had to prepare the body himself. He wouldn’t- He  _ couldn’t  _ let anyone else see the scars etched on Robin’s legs. Robin would be mortified to have anyone else see them, even after death. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon turned the key and opened the door. He took one heavy-hearted step after the other into his dark, empty, cold house.

It had taken him two months to start working again, and that was mostly out of necessity. He was running low on money, and the townspeople relied on him for their equipment and weapons.

So Simon threw himself into his work. He woke up, forced himself to eat something, and made himself walk to the forge. He worked until it was dark, and then he forced himself to go home, to eat, and to sleep.

Simon looked towards the metal branch with the robin sitting on it that he had welded. He stared at it for some time, going over to it, running his fingers along the metal edges.

He couldn’t cry. He was done crying. His tears had run dry and he had none left to give.

Robin had been everything to him. His closest friend. His confidant. His lover.

The fact that he had been torn so abruptly from Simon’s life felt unnecessarily cruel.

The murder had shocked the entire town. No one had any strife with Robin. No one knew who had done it. People were questioned, motives were sought out, but with no leads, the trail ran cold. And then life returned to normal for the town as they lost interest.

But Simon couldn’t help but feel cheated on some sort of justice for Robin’s murder. Robin deserved to be avenged.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ One week after Robin’s death, Simon remembered Merlin and Artemis. They were his friends. They deserved to know. _

_ He needed to talk to someone. Someone who knew exactly how close he and Robin had been. Someone who could understand the depth of his loss. _

_ He arrived in Tunstead. He followed the stream south. He got to the cabin. _

_ He knocked on the door. “Hello?” He called out. No response. He opened the door tentatively, first noticing the disarray that the cabin was in. _

_ Then his eyes were drawn downwards. _

_ He stumbled back in horror at the corpse, several days old by the looks of it, lying on the ground. He spun away from it, stepping outside to compose himself. _

_ He stood outside for several minutes before forcing himself to go back inside and look at it. _

_ Simon made himself approach, leaning in closer. _

_ It was Artemis. _

_ Simon heard a sharp gasp and realized it came from his own mouth. He covered his mouth, stumbling outside again. “Merlin?” He called out, not knowing what else to do, mind reeling. “Merlin?” _

_ He wandered around the cabin in a fog, looking for any sign of Merlin. Even a body. _

_ Nothing. _

_ He forced himself to go back inside. _

_ He forced himself to look at the body again. _

_ What happened? _

_ What was going on? First Robin, now Artemis? _

_ And no sign of Merlin anywhere. _

_ Why had no one buried the body yet? _

_ Once Simon’s head stopped spinning, he grabbed a shovel. Artemis needed a proper burial. He needed to be put to rest. _

_ Simon dug a grave, a few feet deep, and he took a deep breath when he picked up Artemis’ corpse. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the corpse, looking slightly upwards as he walked him to the grave he’d dug at the edge of the woods. He then respectfully and carefully placed Artemis in the grave. _

_ Simon covered the grave with stones after he had filled it back up with dirt. The grave needed to be marked, and he didn’t like the idea of wild animals digging Artemis up. _

_ Simon stood at the edge of the grave, staring down at it. It felt right that he should say something. _

_ “I’m sorry. For whatever happened to you.” Simon cleared his throat. “I intended to come here to say-” Simon’s throat became thick with sadness. “My Robin is gone. And I came here to tell you.” _

_ Simon paused, taking a deep breath, trying to form the words properly. “I couldn’t find Merlin. But I hope he’s… okay. And if he’s not then… I hope he’s with you.” _

_ Simon looked up at the sky. “It feels strange. I barely knew you two. But I felt I had to tell someone. Someone I could grieve with properly. Someone who knew him, too. Someone who knew exactly what we were together. Someone who could understand…” _

_ Simon felt his eyes fill with tears as he said, “I don’t know what to do without him. Every day, I just-” Simon spread his hands in a helpless gesture. “Everyone tells me it will get better. They say the ache never goes away, but it gets better. But I don't know. It’s so hard right now, not having him.” _

_ Simon was silent for some time, weeping over Artemis’ grave, wiping away unceasing tears until he forced himself to stop. _

_ “I’m sorry.” Simon said again. “I am so sorry Artemis. You were so young…” Simon placed a plucked flower on the grave, right in the center. “May you rest in peace.” _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon wasn’t sure if he believed in an afterlife. He hoped there was one, for Robin’s sake. Someplace where he could be happy. Someplace where Simon could see him again, once Simon’s own time was up.

He wanted to believe in an afterlife, now. He’d never given it much thought before. But he wanted to see his Robin again. Someday. And he had to give himself hope that he would. So he made himself believe.

Simon couldn’t make himself eat tonight. He crawled into bed after kicking his shoes off, fully clothed.

He was still young. Twenty-six. And yet Robin’s death made him feel aged. Fragile.

Twenty-six years old. And he knew he would never find love like that again. Robin had been the one. He knew it, in his heart, every time he would look at him. Love like that doesn’t happen but once.

Simon stared up at the ceiling, eyes dull like they always were, heart aching like it did every night, until he rolled over and made himself sleep, just to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow.

******************************************************************************

Merlin’s eyes shut as he heard the door unlock and squeak open.

He was looking away from the door, as usual. He hated seeing Arthur’s face.

“Merlin? You didn’t eat yesterday.”

“Go away.” Merlin faced the wall, drawing his legs to his chest.

“I brought you some more food. You should eat. Don’t need you getting any thinner.”

Merlin stayed silent, still staring at the stone wall.

******************************************************************************

Arthur sighed deeply, moving the candle so it illuminated Merlin.

It’s been three months. Three whole months. And Merlin is still pining over that mute boy.

Arthur expected Merlin to be over him at this point. It was getting ridiculous.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ Merlin had been asleep the entire journey back, slumped over Arthur’s horse, forced to drink the sedatives from Arthur’s bag every time it seemed like he was becoming too alert. Arthur hadn’t been able to make him eat, so he would pour water into his mouth any time Merlin seemed lucid enough to drink it. _

_ Arthur got him to Camelot under the cover of darkness. He went through a tunnel under the castle, placing him in the room he had cleared out for him, lighting the candles on the wall. _

_ Arthur had expected Merlin to at least be willing to hear what Arthur had to say, give his reasons for bringing Merlin back. _

_ Instead, day after day, when he goes to visit Merlin at the same time he always does, wanting to talk to him, giving him food, he’s greeted with shouts and curses and poorly-aimed swings that the prince manages to dodge quite easily. _

_ Merlin won’t listen to him, cursing him for killing Artemis, for dragging him back to Camelot, for locking his magic inside of him. _

_ Any attempts at calmly talking to Merlin, trying to have a conversation with him, are met with screams and cries about what Arthur had done. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was a slight improvement at least. Merlin wasn’t raising his voice, wasn’t wailing about Artemis. He was just sitting down, refusing to look at Arthur. Perhaps it was a step in the right direction.

“Merlin.” Arthur called softly. He saw Merlin’s back stiffen. “Are you ready to hear what I have to say to you?”

“”Get. Out.” Merlin snapped.

Arthur moved in closer, but not so close that Merlin would be able to reach him. Arthur looked at the chains running from the wall to the clasps around Merlin’s wrists and winced. It was a necessary evil since he had consistently gotten physical with Arthur nearly every visit.

“I have so much I want to say-”

“Leave me. Leave me to die.”

“No, Merlin, no.” Arthur’s heart twisted painfully at the very thought. “I would never let that happen.”

“I want to be with Artemis.” Merlin’s voice grew tight. “You took him from me. And I loved him. I can’t stand living without-” Merlin gave a sob, burying his head in his arms.

“That’s what I need to talk to you about. Why I did what I did. Please, will you let me speak?”

Merlin didn’t reply, which Arthur thought was as good a response as he was going to get.

“Merlin, when you left… I felt like a part of me had left with you. I went after you, but I was caught. I was locked in my room like a prisoner for months on end. I felt like I had nothing left to live for.” Arthur dared to move in closer. “And then the dreams started. About you and I. We were so happy together in my dreams. And I saw visions of you, wherever I went I saw you, standing there, watching me.”

He saw Merlin lift his head.

“I saw you in my room more often than other places, but it was in my room that you spoke to me. You comforted me, you listened to me when I was angry-”

“It wasn’t me.” Merlin whispered.

“But it was.” Arthur insisted. “You gave me ideas, you gave me a plan for finding you, for bringing you home.”

Merlin shook his head. “No, you are mad. I never-”

“ **_Don’t call me that_ ** **.** ” Arthur thundered, stepping in closer. “I am not mad.  _ You  _ sent me those visions, Merlin. It was you, I know it was.”

“It wasn’t.” Merlin protested. “I was content. I was happy. I had Artemis. And you took it all away-”

“ **Listen to me** .” Arthur said in a warning tone.

“Get out!” Merlin looked at him fully, face twisted with anger.

“Merlin, listen to me! You need to understand-”

“Go away!” Merlin screamed at him, getting up and lunging toward him. Arthur backed away until he was a safe distance from Merlin.

Arthur and Merlin stared at each other, Merlin’s eyes wild with anger and bitterness, his chest heaving, pulling on his chains.

Arthur backed away to the door. “You aren’t ready.” He said, heart sinking. “I am leaving you with the food and water. I hope you’ll eat something, Merlin.”

“Leave. Don’t ever come back. I never want to see you again.” Merlin said.

Arthur lowered his head. “I will be back tomorrow evening. You’ll come around eventually, Merlin. I know you will.”

******************************************************************************

“It’s been five days. Eat something.” Arthur pleaded.

Merlin was curled up in the center of the floor, as far away as he could get from the wall. The plate from yesterday was still full. The water skins were empty, so that was something at least.

“I want to die.” Merlin said weakly.

Arthur shook his head. “I can’t let that happen, Merlin.”

“You took everything from me. Grant me this.”

Arthur approached him, a fresh roll from the kitchens in his hand. The smell was tantalizing, even to him, and he’d already eaten. He heard Merlin’s stomach growl.

“Have this, Merlin. Just a little something for strength.” He offered the roll up.

Merlin shook his head.

Arthur set the roll down beside him. “I have some roasted vegetables and beef in the basket.” He said. “Water too, of course.”

“Leave me.” Merlin said the words so faintly Arthur barely heard them.

“I will see you tomorrow.”

Merlin shut his eyes.

******************************************************************************

“I had dreams, Merlin. Nearly every night. Dreams about you. About our future. Merlin, I saw our future. Together.”

Arthur curled up behind Merlin. Tonight, when he had gone to check on Merlin, the roll was gone, as well as half the food in the basket. He counted it as a small victory.

“Dreams?” Merlin asked, voice low. He wasn’t pushing Arthur away. Arthur wasn’t sure if it was because he lacked the strength, or because he missed human contact.

Arthur nodded, daring to press his nose against the back of Merlin’s head, ignoring the smell. Merlin hadn’t had a wash since he’d been down here. But Arthur could stand it if it meant he could be close to Merlin.

“Vivid dreams. I saw our future, the way it ought to be. You were by my side, constantly. We shared my bed, we woke up every morning together.”

He felt Merlin stiffen at hearing this, and he hoped he wouldn’t shove the prince away.

“I have to admit… When my tracker informed me that you were a sorcerer, I was angry at first. I wanted you to suffer. I thought even…. That you may have enchanted me into feeling the way I feel. I began to despise the dreams of us at night.

“And then…. Merlin, the dreams changed. I saw our future, the way it is fated to be. I saw myself as king. I saw you at my side, as my Court Sorcerer.”

He heard Merlin hold his breath.

“I saw you weave spells of protection over Camelot and it’s people. I saw you strike down our enemies with a wave of your hand and a single word. I saw the way other sorcerers were in awe of you, the way they respected and honored you.”

Arthur ran his hands down Merlin’s too-bony ribs. “I saw how powerful Camelot had become under our rule and protection. I saw that it was the way it was meant to be, the ban on magic gone, magic being used to heal and protect. And I’ll admit…. It took me a while to come around still…. But I began to understand that it was the path destiny laid out for us. The way things are supposed to be.”

Merlin’s breathing became shaky. Arthur traced the clasp around his neck lovingly. “Once father is gone, I will repeal the ban on magic. I will see to it that magic users are treated as equals. And with you by my side, we will create a strong and united kingdom.”

******************************************************************************

Merlin was trembling at Arthur’s words.

Arthur was promising to bring magic back to Camelot.

Magic.

He would be able to practice freely.

He would be free…

It was as the dragon had told him.

Merlin shut his eyes.

The dragon had been right. He couldn’t escape fate. He’d tried. But everything he thought he was doing right backfired horribly.

He simply fell in love. Was that so wrong?

He only ever wanted a good life for Artemis. He only ever wanted him to be safe and happy and cared for.

But the prince hurt the one he loved, so Merlin turned his back on destiny and he tried to make sure Artemis was safe, despite knowing it went entirely against his life’s predetermined path.

Would it have been better if he had simply… Sent Artemis away without him? Continued to serve under a prince who was capable of such a horrific act against another person?

Would that have kept Artemis safe?

_ “You and me together, forever and always, Artemis.” _

Merlin felt the tears stinging behind his eyes.

For all of his promises, for all of his words and no matter how hard he wanted to, he couldn’t escape his fate. And fate had taken away the one person preventing Merlin from following through with his destiny.

The Fates had made Arthur fanatical about Merlin. He’d never cared this much about Merlin while he was in Arthur’s service.

Then they showed him the future in his dreams once Merlin’s secret was discovered by Arthur. Showed him what Merlin could do, how prosperous the kingdom would be.

With Arthur being utterly besotted by Merlin, he was willing to undo all of his father’s work, just to have Merlin by his side, creating this perfect future.

Always by his side. As it was intended to be.

How could he serve a man who raped, tormented, and eventually murdered the one person Merlin truly loved?

How could the Fates intend that for him?

“I will fight.” Merlin whispered.

“Mm?” Arthur said, raising up to hear him better.

“I will fight this. And I will not stop fighting it.” Merlin, with great effort, rose up to a sitting position, meeting Arthur’s gaze. “Fate is cruel. It made you take my Artemis from me. And no matter how much you may want me to forget and serve by your side, it will  **_never happen_ ** .”

Arthur’s eyes flashed with anger.

“I despise you, Arthur Pendragon. I will never be the person you dreamed up. I will  **_never_ ** forgive you for what you did to Artemis. You might as well kill me now, Arthur. I will not stop fighting you until the day I join Artemis.”

He fully expected Arthur to attack him. He braced himself mentally for the blows.

Instead Arthur gritted his teeth and stood over Merlin, staring down at him with barely concealed fury.

Merlin rose to face him, their eyes cold as they regarded each other. Then Arthur spoke.

“And I will not rest until you are broken, Merlin. No one escapes their destiny. Not even you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is the end of the story. I have a few one shots planned in this series, just short little chapters, and possibly, *possibly* a sequel. Stay tuned.


End file.
